THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => BAND => Topic started by: The Mighty Mopdecai on 11 Aug 2005, 14:29
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Right Andy Peters has just been fired. You have been given the job of saving Top of The Pops. What do you do.
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have a "new music" section.
only studio/live performances.
better presenters.
that might be a start ...
also add a celebrity deathmatch section where whoever has been feuding the tabloids that week get to do battle
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I would gather the entire British pop, NME rock and watered down 'urban' scene together for some sort of awards ceremony, and then break out my own special cocktail of agent orange, zyklon B, mustard gas, flourine and sarin, with some napalm for afters.
Then I would turn it into a show about extreme cookery.
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Begin job-hunting because I know that this will only end in a torrent of fear and anger.
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Move to the US!
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I would gather the entire British pop, NME rock and watered down 'urban' scene together for some sort of awards ceremony, and then break out my own special cocktail of agent orange, zyklon B, mustard gas, flourine and sarin, with some napalm for afters.
Then I would turn it into a show about extreme cookery.
Now that's a party!
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The question is not so much "Can I save it?", as "Would I want to save it?"
To which the answer is emphatically "No."
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Capture Fern cotton, and bring her back to my place for punishment.
SEXY PUNISHMENT.
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Top of the pops. A now ailing music show on the BBC that was mega popular in the 60's-90's but has since fallen on hard times. It's a vehicle for quality music such as Ciara and 50 cent. It's gotten so poor that it recently moved from primetime friday night, to some time on sundays.
It's craporama basically.
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I could save it... Easily.
Step 1: Shoot every chav in the UK
Step 2: Threaten to remove Topshop and other such stores unless people like what I give em.
Step 3: Play lots of punk...
Step 4: Dominate the UK
Step 5: World domination!!
Bow before your future Queen!
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The inherent problem with top of the pops, is that by its very nature, and implied by its very name.. its supposed to be about pop acts. Now this is all very well when pop music is good, but in an era when big label music is getting so much less creative, there is honestly nothing that can be done to make the programe watchable.
Sure, you could turn it into a credible clone of MTV and make fistloads of cash, but i wouldnt call that "saving" it.
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But you'd have fistloads of cash.
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and cash is way better than being "credible" or "not a fucking sellout", because you can buy and sell those assholes for more cash or people who think you're awesome.
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Seriously.
I have principles and all.
But if I was ever in a position to sell out, I'd probably be in the bahamas the day after.
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Fun fact: you can get various diseases, hepatitis included, from simple things such as ice down in the Bahamas.
Just lettin' you know.
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THAT'S WHAT YOUR MUM SAID LAST NIGHT.
Yeah, I went there.
But seriously folks, Totp is dead, long live Jools Holland!
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I think im going to have to go with Khar's extreme cookery thing...
Anybody seen "Full on Food"
It's like Top Gear but with food.
TO THE X-TREEEEEEME!
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I don't think anyone can save it.
I personally think it should be allowed to die in peace. It's the only humane thing to do.....
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I would make it feature actual pops, let the audience consist of five pops(think the grandpas from Muppets) slagging the music off. Example:
"Where does that noise come from?"
"Turn that down or I'll take away your allowance!"
"Son, that isn't exactly music now is it?"
"I think there is something wrong with the cd"
etc.
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Capture Fern cotton, and bring her back to my place for punishment.
SEXY PUNISHMENT.
Ah, Fern Cotton. The poor man's Lauren Laverne.
Save TOTP? I wouldn't bother.
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Its good to see that I am not alone