Posted by: Grimmy
Ooooh...you are SO much better at that than your little sister was. (insert brother if you are a female)
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars. For example, "Negative. Didn't go in!"
My personal favorite:
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"
i already posted this but im gonna warn as many women as i can in case it happens to you
worst ive heard anyone do was an aquaintance who performed 'the spiderman'
you chuck your man-fat into your hand then fling it and said womans face screaming "go web go"
truely traumatising.
QuotePosted by: Grimmy
Ooooh...you are SO much better at that than your little sister was. (insert brother if you are a female)
I kinda think it's better to say, "damn, your little sister was so much better."
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap. :roll:
My personal favorite:
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"
If by "worst" you mean best ever.
My personal favorite:
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"
If by "worst" you mean best ever.
I think it should go one step further and do color commentary all throughout sex.
"And he insists his dick, and it's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
Regardless of whether you are the inserter or insertee.
I just thought of what events would have to take place in order for the commentator to yell "Interception!", and I burst out laughing.
You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you. It's like a battlecry, but scarier.
BISMARCK!A delicately sung, heartfelt rendition of "Deutschland Uberalles" might have the same effect. Make sure it's to the rhythm of your lovemaking!
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap. :roll:
I SAID I was sorry....gosh...
But the fact that I was halfway across the room when I did it should give me SOME brownie points...
Grimmy
only remembers that moment from that night...
hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"
"Show me where your mother lives!"
"Show me where your mother lives!"
hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"
It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.
"Are you ready for some Duff love?!?!?"
You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you. It's like a battlecry, but scarier.
"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before? Haha. Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that. Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before? Haha. Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that. Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.
WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?Oh Gosh.
"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."
So, I hear you like mudkips.I think it would be even worse if the response was "ya i liek mudkipz!"
"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"During sex dearie. How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"
During sex dearie. How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"
Word of advice. Never under ANY circumstances imitate Gollum whilst giving your significant other a good seeing to.
It goes right up there with the "8 Second" rule.
my ex pissed me off during one time, so in response i began to wonder aloud:
"i wonder if you mom has good sex. i mean, she's got a decent body. hell, I could picture her getting action, but she's so modest. what do you think?"
evidently, that's a mood-killer.
Singing the lyrics to a Top 40 song as loudly as you can.
Nobody else would get this, but
"PUUUUUULAZUUUUMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"
.... Fizzgig.
Most unrelated to the actual act, but taken in the context can ruin a situation: "I wonder if that was a chunk of dolphin in my tuna this morning..."
I'm gonna reformat your hard drive so hard!
"I doubled my stamina there."
"We had sex for 30 seconds!"
"I know." *wink wink* "Just wait till next time and think about how satisfied you'll be."
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5546/screenshotiw5.png)
:-o :-o :-o :-o :-o(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5546/screenshotiw5.png)
:shock:
You showed a good level of viarety in positions though you need to improve on carrying them out. Overall the experience was pretty average though you did put alot of effort into it.
Overal Grade - B
Points for improvement: Perfect some of the positions performed.
I still like "saving throw" throws a d-20 it lands you get a 3.
second choice "merry christmas bitches" or "Hot pootie bless my soul I really love that rock'n'roll"
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!
Also anthing in Yoda speak like "In you I am"
Upon almost reaching orgasm, a guy once told me to "calm down."
Upon almost reaching orgasm, a guy once told me to "calm down."
Ugh, put that dangling modifier (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_dangmod.html) away. Look how pendulously and grotesquely it dangles.
"Im just a sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transilvania" gotta love Rocky Horror Picture show :-DSorry but for quite a few of us, screaming that aloud is a turn on.
Oh my god! Any time you type C huck N orris without the spaces, it puts Anal Prolapse! Bahahaha!Chuck Norris ... you're right.
Don't really know if this has been posted yet, but I'm a big fan of...
"So... what was your name again?"
1. "What was your name again?"
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"
ROTFL
- Dont shake so much, I want to drink my beer !
ZERG RUSH!!!! :lol:
NOOOOOooooo! Get out of my head, Charles!
and on the topic of HP: "Expeliarmus!", "Avada Kedavera!", or just a running quidditch commentary ending with "and she got the snitch!"(hopefully, the beaters had little to do...) ^_^
personal favorite for sex screaming:
YAHTZEEEEEEEEE
Sorry, I'm new. I meant this to go in the weekly comic discussion thread in reaction to February 2nd's comic, but I don't seem to be able to post new topics there (?).
It's not something you'd say while having sex, per se, but in my fifteen years of being a cop, I know for certain knocking on the car window, asking if everyone is okay in there, PRETTY much puts an end to the party...
I used to call it "Copus Interruptus"... :police:
Strangely, the folks I interrupted didn't find it as funny as I did...
The BEST part was telling them once I knew everything was okay, they could continue...
(THAT was funny)
"I AM THE GOD OF WAR!"
Start humming/whistling the victory theme from Final Fantasy.
You assume.....incorrectly. :( Coincidence, I suppose. Though I shall check it out now.Start humming/whistling the victory theme from Final Fantasy.
I assume that you've read Ctl-Alt-Del?
Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
Instumental
I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)
There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.
Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
All together now!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.
Instumental
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
Instumental
I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)
There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.
Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
All together now!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.
Instumental
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Guy climaxes and says "I peed."
The worst I can think of is: once you start getting into it, start calling out your own name. Simple, elegant, completely hilarious.
-- "CTHULHU AWAKEN!" (At climax)
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars. For example, "Negative. Didn't go in!"
Or
"Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"
"hold on i need to queef"
I must say, today's comic(#1044) has Marten saying something that might ruin the moment.
"Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810I thank you.
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange
Maybe: "Billy was right, it does feel better with live people."?
Can you get that scab? It's leaking puss everywhere.
"You're not half the woman your brother was last night."
"This is so going on /b/. Say 'cheese!'"
Sorry if it's a stupid question. What is /b/?
*In He-Man voice*
"I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR!"
Sorry if it's a stupid question. What is /b/?
/b/ is the "random picture" thread on the 4chan boards. As I understand (not being interested in visiting it myself), it's notorious for shocking, disgusting and/or irreverent content.
*In He-Man voice*haha yes
"I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR!"
This isn't so much something to say but yeah, laughing, laughing is pretty bad.
My boyfriend laughed at me in the middle of the deed. I wanted to punch him in the face.
butthole.
"So um, how does this work?"Sheer brilliant.
(Pointing at your partner's private bits:) "What. The Hell. Is. THAT."
"Results may vary.""The value of your investment may go down as well as up."
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."
And while we're bordering on blasphemy, here's one for men only:
"My rod, my rod, why hast thou forsaken me?"
"FLAWLESS VICTORY!!"Those are excellent.
"Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger...!!"
"I am ze Ubermensch!!"
"Ha ha hah, you just got owned!"
"I wish I knew how to quit quotin' Brokeback at you."There are not words to praise this.
"You just got Rick Rolled!"You'd have to start singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" first.
"...I feel dead inside...""No, that's me."
In the spirit of a recent comic, I think hork hork hork hork hork hork hork would qualify.
Worst thing to do during sex?
Break up with her. Right after you orgasm, but before she comes.
Oh man, someone please make hork hork hork hork hork hork hork your sig? I don't want to do it because I like mine too much, but come on, it would be awesome.Done.
There is a modify button, no need to double post thank you.
Also, Screaming diarrhea then shitting the bed would probably be one of the outright worst things to do.
"It might feel a bit strange as it goes in."
Got that from a friend's post about an operation he had. Not on here. :P
This naturally leads to:
"You might feel a little prick."
Feel my Gom Jabbar!
This naturally leads to:
"You might feel a little prick."
And that gives a horrifying new dimension to Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb":
Okay...okay....okay...
It's just a little pin-prick
There'll be no more (AAAAAAA!)
But you may feel a little sick
"For years, I've been searching for someone with a birthmark like that. Are...are you my sister?"
and my favourite:
"badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom..."
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange
I always hope a telemarketer will call during a sex session...
Telemarketer: are you eating right now?
Me: not yet, but when its my turn, she will let me know.
Or any lord of the rings reference. Particularly if he/she has a piercing down there.Lord of the Cock Rings
"The one ring"
On the LOTR tip, how about "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"That's the slogan for Gandalf's Condoms.
"Damnit, this isn't working, it's too loose."
interpret that as you will, I imagine a guy saying it.
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange
I always hope a telemarketer will call during a sex session...
Telemarketer: are you eating right now?
Me: not yet, but when its my turn, she will let me know.
I used to do telesales. Part of our 'training' included listening to a call whereby a couple in the act were called and didn't hang up the phone...the best part was, they listened to the spiel about insurance first, and then the sort of gasping sounds interrupted the poor telesales guy...
any reference to Family GuyBUTTSCRATCHAAA!
"Now before we go any further, please sign and date here...and here...press hard; you're making two copies."The other person actually is signing and dating :lol: I like that.
It wasn't really a screamo scream but he just full on yelled for about 30 seconds.
worst thing to say
"I think I need to see my therapist now"
two from BioShock
"would you kindly"
"Come on mister bubblers, angels wait for no one"
and "Flame on"
I stared at the ceiling for like 40 minutes, so I said, "Are you going to come or what?" and he said, "I told you; I'm hungry."
Girl: "Oooh yeah...oh yeah...OH YEAH, oh...oh yeah, OH OH YEAH!"
Guy: "Shut the hell up!"
"Madam, your gritty, unclean rusty sherrif's badge is one of the most repellent orifices I have ever had the displeasure of sinking my gnarled, disease-infested man pole testicles-deep into. The vile stench nearly had me regurgitating my midday meal all over your backside. I have no desire to see you again. Good day to you."
Start crying after you make her orgasim. Then tell her you want to talk about feelings.
...Sadly I know a girl who had this happened to...
*shrug*
Talking about feelings isn't the horrifying thing most guys make it out to be.
I knew a guy who actually did do this: After having sex, he turned to his girlfriend, and said AWESOME! HIGH FIVE!! and totally high-fived her.
This is something I talk about with my friends a lot, and we all agree that "Arrgh! My brocolli's escaping!" is a classic.hahaha omg I have GOT to say that at some point in my life.
"SING FOR ME!" ala Phantom of the Opera.
I can see it now:"You may not look like much, but you've got it where it counts, kid."
Guy: *prepares to begin*
Girl: *has an intensely serious expression* "Stay on target.*
Start crying after you make her orgasim. Then tell her you want to talk about feelings.
...Sadly I know a girl who had this happened to...
Really? So do I, and the story is kind of notorious, particularly the "talk about feelings" part.
"Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."
The Expecto Patronum tattoo one gave me this idea. Stare at him, and shout:
WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!
Although that's only funny (maybe not even if) if you know the reference.
(I'm new here. Don't hate.)
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars. For example, "Negative. Didn't go in!"
I think it was actually, "Get clear Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!""Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."
There's always the usual winner in the 10 Dirtiest Lines in Star Wars (http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/8889/starwars.htm) lists:
'Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!'
"YOUR EGG CAN'T DEFLECT SPERM OF THIS MAGNITUDE."Wedge, at the surface of the Death Star v2.0: "I'm going in!"
"This reminds me of that Questionable Content strip where..."
What about...
"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"
Oh my...
"I just stuck my penis inside your vagina, and will now proceed to thrust it in and out until I squirt semen into said vagina."
"I just stuck my penis inside your vagina, and will now proceed to thrust it in and out until I squirt semen into said vagina."
Van Wilder beat you to that one.
"Gwenny, your warm labia feels so good around my swollen phallus!"
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
i still don't know what that's from...
Didn't we have "El-oh-el!" as a suggestion a while ago? Maybe it should be expanded: ""U" "R" per-wan-d!!Oneoneone!!"
say "Itsa Me, Mario!"
Surprise! Buttsex
"I think I've sustained plastic deformation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deformation#Plastic_deformation)!"
A couple from the Command & Conquer games.
'Kane Lives'
'Can not deploy here'
I'll have to think of some more.
not a fan of daft punk, but you could sing harder, better, faster, stronger.
or if an anime nerd yelling "BANKAI"
"Nope, still gay."
This has nothing to do with the comic. Moving into the off-topic forum.
This has nothing to do with the comic. Moving into the off-topic forum.
What effect would this have duuring sex? Simply a look of bewilderment?
This has nothing to do with the comic. Moving into the off-topic forum.