Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: daclam on 02 Feb 2007, 03:39

Title: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: daclam on 02 Feb 2007, 03:39
Sorry, I'm new.  I meant this to go in the weekly comic discussion thread in reaction to February 2nd's comic, but I don't seem to be able to post new topics there (?).

Anyway, I think between the comic and the thread topic I've said it all, just want to hear other people's opinions on what the best and/or worst (depending on whether you find the potential hillarity amazing) things to scream out during sex would be.

My personal favorite is "I want to eat our babies!" but After Hour's "Surrender, Dorothy!" and Something Positive's "Pikachu, I choose you!" are pretty close seconds.

:-P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: sylvar on 02 Feb 2007, 04:28
My favorite is a quote from the television show that, let's face it, when you think of provocative, sexy television shows, is pretty much the burqa of the lot:

"Thank you, Staff Sergeant Dwight J. Morgan!" (http://www.tvguide.com/detail/tv-show.aspx?episodeid=3458979&tvobjectid=100006&more=ucepisodelist)

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 02 Feb 2007, 06:18
Some of my favorites:

Ooooh...you are SO much better at that than your little sister was. (insert brother if you are a female)

Lemme show you the move that got your dog to stop humping my leg...

Are you sure God approves of you touching me there father O'Connor?

Ill think of more later...its gonna be a long day.

Grimmy
just remembered this....

"The Bronco Buster position
When you are having sex with your woman in the doggy style position, you reach around and hold on to her breast and scream out her sisters name. The challenge is to try to stay on forat least eight seconds.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Cartilage Head on 02 Feb 2007, 07:16
"DAAAAMN Yogi!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: camelpimp on 02 Feb 2007, 08:03
My personal favorite:

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MrMagoo on 02 Feb 2007, 09:35
The classic "What three two letter words mean "very very small":
            "Is it in?"

Or...

"That's not a textured condom, I have genital warts"

Or, another classic...

"Beige."

 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: buggd222 on 02 Feb 2007, 09:35
The worst is easy...

"HAHAHA, I'VE GOT AIDS BITCH!"

...said during climax


A lot of people won't find this funny, but you can't deny that it's probably the worst thing you could say...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: GrandeCappuccino on 02 Feb 2007, 09:41
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars.  For example, "Negative.  Didn't go in!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: daclam on 02 Feb 2007, 11:35
Quote
Posted by: Grimmy

Ooooh...you are SO much better at that than your little sister was. (insert brother if you are a female)

I kinda think it's better to say, "damn, your little sister was so much better."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The extra letter on 02 Feb 2007, 13:45
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars.  For example, "Negative.  Didn't go in!"

Or

"Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AnotherQCaddict on 02 Feb 2007, 16:14
Here is the worst possible line

"(insert partner's name), I am your father (mother for the womanfolk)... and your mother (father for the womanfolk) makes you look like a NUN! (monk for the womanfolk)"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: interpolitia on 02 Feb 2007, 16:26
This is something I talk about with my friends a lot, and we all agree that "Arrgh! My brocolli's escaping!" is a classic.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: sneakylemur on 02 Feb 2007, 17:05
During climax:
"Oh, Adolph!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 02 Feb 2007, 19:00
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap.  :roll:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: LocalLawsPreventThisName on 02 Feb 2007, 19:55
"Eva Brawn was better" only works if you have perviously stated you believe in reincarnation/

Otherwise, "The girls at the mental institute were better" or "my eight year old sister is better then you, trust me, I checked."

Neither of these should be used under any circumstances. Period.

EDIT: Other possibilities:
"The Choir boys are better at St.Martha's are more experienced too."
"Eww what is that?"
"My last girlfriend had a tail you know."
"Oi, you are freaking ugly little bugger aren't you?" Don't expect to keep any portion of your body after this.
"Ye, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me"  is fairly high on the list.
"I think this would be a good time for us to talk about you joining the faith" is also highly unnerving.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: monalisablue on 02 Feb 2007, 20:54
How about

"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo cervix!"

I know a guy who's said that to friends of mine. The both immensely dislike him now.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Triskelivus on 03 Feb 2007, 16:03
Theres always "Nice cervical mucus!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Cartilage Head on 03 Feb 2007, 17:35
 GIMME THAT HERPES BABY.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: kallisti on 04 Feb 2007, 04:21
My personal favorite:

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

If by "worst" you mean best ever.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Warshrike on 04 Feb 2007, 04:44
"Yarr Pirates"
"Wow, I am really great at this"
"DONGZLOL"
"I have the POWA"
"Yaaaaay for Pornography"
"I had sex with your uncle(No matter what sex you are.)"
"OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!(Loud enough your neighbours can hear)"
"Finally"(Climax)
"Let Jesus F*ck You"
"(Say a celebrities name)"

The last two are special. before saying each one, you should stop having sex with her(Or, you could say it as you go). Then:
"(Say her mothers name), we have to talk. I love (Say her name) And don't think I can keep doing this..."
"(Say her best friends name), we have to talk. I love (Say her name) And don't think I can keep doing this..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: carpetspaghetti on 04 Feb 2007, 15:39
i already posted this but im gonna warn as many women as i can in case it happens to you

worst ive heard anyone do was an aquaintance who performed 'the spiderman'
you chuck your man-fat into your hand then fling it and said womans face screaming "go web go"
truely traumatising.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: SeanTheFilmGuy on 04 Feb 2007, 18:22
"oh yeah...this is awesome...oh baby...i love you, your so...<silence for a few seconds, cease what your doing.>  ...uh...oops"

oops has to be the worse thing to say in any situation that involves life and death...it leaves a vast uncertainty, and he/she will start to freak out till you explain what oops...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: amj on 04 Feb 2007, 18:36
"and that's how you were conceived honey!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The extra letter on 05 Feb 2007, 03:37
"Wow, and you're not inflatable!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ranaska on 05 Feb 2007, 04:18
For best (worse) effect, this should be said by a man, in a very sincere tone, into the girls ear. Preferably at the moment of orgasm for maximum creepiness:

"Oh, Frodo!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: daclam on 05 Feb 2007, 09:46
i already posted this but im gonna warn as many women as i can in case it happens to you

worst ive heard anyone do was an aquaintance who performed 'the spiderman'
you chuck your man-fat into your hand then fling it and said womans face screaming "go web go"
truely traumatising.

To go along with the superhero theme, I would think "up! up! and away!" would be pretty awful to hear, especially if he gets off that quickly.

I'd also add "Hulk Smash" to the list.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ThePQ4 on 05 Feb 2007, 10:21
--On a similar note to the Superhero theme... Uh, "It's Clobberin' Time!" would be a little scary too... Along with something along the lines of, "Holy vagina, Batman!"

Ah, comic books...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: hirai on 05 Feb 2007, 13:40
Just as the other gets into it, stop and say:
"Oh yeah, I should probably go switch the tape..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 06 Feb 2007, 06:15
Quote
Posted by: Grimmy

Ooooh...you are SO much better at that than your little sister was. (insert brother if you are a female)

I kinda think it's better to say, "damn, your little sister was so much better."

I didnt have a little sister....just a little brother I liked to put in a dress once in a while

Grimmy
quoting a line overheard in a college lunchroom.

p.s.
Also overheard from college.

One of the guys in my frat was having sex with this girl. He stops mid way and says, you are only here for the sex, and not because you have any feelings for me. Get out.

Hysterical
I miss college...best thirteen years of my life
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 06 Feb 2007, 16:18
"Oh, Steven Seagal!"

Either you're thinking of Steven Seagal when having sex, or you're... no, you can't be having sex with him. Why would you do that?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Eris on 07 Feb 2007, 00:22
"Show me where your mother lives!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 08 Feb 2007, 09:44
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap.  :roll:

I SAID I was sorry....gosh...
But the fact that I was halfway across the room when I did it should give me SOME brownie points...

Grimmy
only remembers that moment from that night...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: camelpimp on 08 Feb 2007, 14:17
My personal favorite:

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

If by "worst" you mean best ever.

I think it should go one step further and do color commentary all throughout sex.

"And he insists his dick, and it's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

Regardless of whether you are the inserter or insertee.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 08 Feb 2007, 14:30
I just thought of what events would have to take place in order for the commentator to yell "Interception!", and I burst out laughing.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 08 Feb 2007, 16:05
You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you.  It's like a battlecry, but scarier.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Liam on 08 Feb 2007, 21:38

This is ridiculously fun.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ummmkay on 09 Feb 2007, 08:31
...For some reason I thought I was in the "Turn Lunchbox into a Dick" thread when I read that post. Confusing, to say the least.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Driftpeasant on 09 Feb 2007, 09:05
"What's that Lassie?  You want Timmie to go down the well?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: LeeZion on 10 Feb 2007, 16:27
My personal favorite:

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

If by "worst" you mean best ever.

I think it should go one step further and do color commentary all throughout sex.

"And he insists his dick, and it's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

Regardless of whether you are the inserter or insertee.

Quote from: Thy Dungeonman
I just thought of what events would have to take place in order for the commentator to yell "Interception!", and I burst out laughing.

How about "And he spikes it in the end zone!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Observer on 10 Feb 2007, 20:15
"What the fuck? Your kid never did that!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The extra letter on 11 Feb 2007, 04:00
Singing the lyrics to a Top 40 song as loudly as you can.

Nobody else would get this, but

"PUUUUUULAZUUUUMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Cartilage Head on 11 Feb 2007, 07:38
 BISMARCK!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: IronOxide on 11 Feb 2007, 19:06
REMEMBER THE MAINE!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 12 Feb 2007, 01:37
AAH MOTHERLAND!

You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you.  It's like a battlecry, but scarier.

I saw/heard a guy do that on the intervideo. It wasn't really a screamo scream but he just full on yelled for about 30 seconds.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Abattur on 12 Feb 2007, 03:33
Well there is the all time classic
"MOTHER!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Ernest on 12 Feb 2007, 05:33
"I am not a crook."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: flo21 on 12 Feb 2007, 10:41
THE PICTURE ON THE NIGHT STAND

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her
night stand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 12 Feb 2007, 16:07
BISMARCK!
A delicately sung, heartfelt rendition of "Deutschland Uberalles" might have the same effect.  Make sure it's to the rhythm of your lovemaking!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thunder_Child on 13 Feb 2007, 15:24
"I really gotta pee"

"It hurts when i do this"

"uhhh.....it's better if you don't look"

"Great, the rest of the orgy is here!"

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AnotherQCaddict on 13 Feb 2007, 15:46
at the apex of the performance, yell the name of every sexually transmittable disease, quickly followed by all cockblockers known to mankind.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 13 Feb 2007, 18:27
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap.  :roll:

I SAID I was sorry....gosh...
But the fact that I was halfway across the room when I did it should give me SOME brownie points...

Grimmy
only remembers that moment from that night...


lol wel alright i will give you credit for that. :)

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Luke C on 14 Feb 2007, 11:45
You probably have to have seen the Ross Noble show to get this gag but:

"Show me where your mother lives!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 14 Feb 2007, 13:00
hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Eris on 14 Feb 2007, 16:20
"Show me where your mother lives!"
"Show me where your mother lives!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 17 Feb 2007, 19:19
hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.

oh good god that would be sooooooo awkward to here that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: . Brian . on 17 Feb 2007, 20:03
Is that a grenade?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 18 Feb 2007, 19:27
"Oh what that line??? Thats just a little scaring from the surgery" kind of a sex change operation joke
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: firekow on 21 Feb 2007, 18:55
"JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Stayc on 22 Feb 2007, 01:43
"Hunny.  My IBS is acting up again."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WelshPete on 23 Feb 2007, 06:09
Quote from: Duffman
"Are you ready for some Duff love?!?!?"

Duffman quotes are always class.....ooooh yeah!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: OverdueKarma on 23 Feb 2007, 16:56
Guy climaxes and says "I peed."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: maddness on 27 Feb 2007, 15:21
You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you.  It's like a battlecry, but scarier.

I think, if it's a guy, it would be funny if as soon as he's in he starts screaming like he's terrified.

Or like he starts howling in pain and then say something along the lines of "Jesus! What do you have in there? Razor blades?!!"

You could wait until your both really into it, squeeze your eyes shut tight, and then say "Oh, God, mom, you'll always be the best."

Another fun one is to start screaming "No, daddy, no! Please don't!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 27 Feb 2007, 15:41
As soon as the guy dropped his pants the lady squeals in a high pitched tone "Awwwwwwwwwww aint that a cute little bugger" its like the verbal equivalent to being castrated lol.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: TheMusicMan on 27 Feb 2007, 17:08
The biggest buzz-kill I've ever heard of is, "Thanks Granma!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: est on 01 Mar 2007, 16:08
"Hang on a sec, hon.  I think the other girls are finally here"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ItsAShameAboutRay on 02 Mar 2007, 10:40
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

"Resistance is futile!"
"Don't worry, won't take bit a minute or less."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: FireStarter on 03 Mar 2007, 20:47
"OMG WTF REG PLEASE!!!!"

"Fire in the hole" (at the moment of male climax)

"Safty"

"Touchdown!"

"Hold on I gotta shit"

"Pika Piiii"

"After this, you're cooking dinner right?"

"RAPE!"

"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"

from an inside joke amongst my friends, an old roomate of mine had come out while we were playing DBZ budokai and asked how to put a condom on. The smokers took a quick smoke break so we could laugh outside his room's window.

Or, the time we called another friends room while he was in the middle of his first time and her's as well (she's now his wife so...) and held the phone up to the speakers we had playing James Brown's Sex Machine. When he unplugged the phone and answering machine we moved the speakers to the hallway and continued the play list which included Karma Kamelion Bad Boys, and of course the great classic amazing grace (they are both devote christians)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Stayc on 05 Mar 2007, 22:51
"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"
Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before?  Haha.  Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that.  Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.


Donald Trump a bitch with "You're fired"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Coming Home on 07 Mar 2007, 14:09
"Was that green stuff there before or after we started getting it on?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Obaten on 08 Mar 2007, 16:55
after you insert, (for dudes)

"POW! right in the babymaker!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: HerrFuhl on 08 Mar 2007, 19:03
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

If my girlfriend started quoting Dune during sex, I would know to marry her instantly. right fucking then.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 09 Mar 2007, 17:21
Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before?  Haha.  Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that.  Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.

I had a boyfriend at the time try and tell me it was ok to wash and reuse them. That prompted my hand to form a fist and punch him in the head. Needless to say I went home that night with out any lovin.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The extra letter on 10 Mar 2007, 23:13
Whoops, where did it get to?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Warshrike on 13 Mar 2007, 04:02
"I'm a Virgin"
"Great!! Now, you just need to show it to someone else or you die in seven days!!"
Or just "You will now die in seven days"
...
...
...
...
...
...
"BUKKAKE!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 13 Mar 2007, 04:06
WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 14 Mar 2007, 09:12
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 14 Mar 2007, 09:26
WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?
Oh Gosh.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: blackhelldemon on 17 Mar 2007, 00:40
I have one...

"WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!"

or

"dont worry you will only feel a little prick and then its over" :-D
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 17 Mar 2007, 08:37
"GET THOSE IMAGES OUT OF YOUR SIGNATURE, THEY'RE NOT APPRECIATED HERE."

I imagine that would result in a very short relationship.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pirate on 17 Mar 2007, 12:52
Man, you look so much like my D&D seductress character, would you mind putting on this chainmail bikini next time?  Don't mind the sticky stuff, it's... metal polish.

I've had better.  And by better, I mean my hand.

man, you're so much better than either of my wives.  or my sister.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pirate on 19 Mar 2007, 00:45
Oops, I think some of my crabs just escaped into your butthole.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Uncle Fisty on 19 Mar 2007, 08:14
He he, "HADOKEN!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pirate on 19 Mar 2007, 11:07
SHORYUKEN!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 19 Mar 2007, 11:16
"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 19 Mar 2007, 16:55
"WHOA FELLA WHOA" like a cowboy???
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pirate on 19 Mar 2007, 23:56
Stop.  I can't do this.

It would suck to hear that, but I would totally respect someone's request nonetheless.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 20 Mar 2007, 03:27
EEENF EEEENF
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: camelpimp on 20 Mar 2007, 08:50
"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 21 Mar 2007, 05:33
"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."

I dont believe I could continue if this was said. I'd feel creepy like there was little kids around or somthing. ewwww
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Switchblade on 21 Mar 2007, 10:22
"Oh... oh God.... Uh... I'm so sorry... Look, I'd better go get a phone or something. Just stay calm! DON'T DIE ON ME!!" *run out of the room*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 21 Mar 2007, 12:49
EEEEEENF
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 22 Mar 2007, 05:42
So, I hear you like mudkips.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Uncle Fisty on 22 Mar 2007, 10:25
The "Dean Scream."

Oh yeah, baby, oh, EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: PyreTroll on 22 Mar 2007, 19:40
"Damnit, this isn't working, it's too loose."

interpret that as you will, I imagine a guy saying it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 22 Mar 2007, 19:42
So, I hear you like mudkips.
I think it would be even worse if the response was "ya i liek mudkipz!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 23 Mar 2007, 05:07
"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pirate on 23 Mar 2007, 07:57
"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"
During sex dearie.  How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: PyreTroll on 23 Mar 2007, 08:00
"that was great, let's do it again."
"but I'm (not done yet/still going!)"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: qtownstegy on 23 Mar 2007, 08:08
I AM THE MUFFIN MAN!!!




Or no sound at all, just the faint whisper of crickets chirping outside the window.

"Does this feel good?"
"Do you feel anything?"
"We've been going at this for an hour now and you haven't moaned or even made a sound."
"Am I doing it wrong?"
"Why does your body feel so cold?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 23 Mar 2007, 12:42
During sex dearie.  How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"

I was under the impression that the thread kind of morphed into best/worst thing to say at any point in the sexing be it pre coital(sp?), during, or post coital(sp?). My bad  :oops:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kid Carnival on 23 Mar 2007, 20:40
oddly enough, we had this discussion at the mall in the food court today. we used happy birthday grandma, and you've ruined sex for me.

most people didn't get what we were talking about.

therefore, they fail.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MechZilla on 24 Mar 2007, 23:32
Word of advice. Never under ANY circumstances imitate Gollum whilst giving your significant other a good seeing to.
It goes right up there with the "8 Second" rule.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 25 Mar 2007, 18:16
Word of advice. Never under ANY circumstances imitate Gollum whilst giving your significant other a good seeing to.
It goes right up there with the "8 Second" rule.


OMG!!!!! Two of my guy friends where doing kind of a porn dialog using the Gollum voice and certain lines from Lord of The Rings. Such lines where " Go away and never come back" as if to say Gollum was trying to masterbate or "Thats MY precious(sp?)" while proceeding to touch their boy parts. Funniest thing i ever listened to.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: kennapea on 26 Mar 2007, 02:10
my ex pissed me off during one time, so in response i began to wonder aloud:
"i wonder if you mom has good sex.  i mean, she's got a decent body.  hell, I could picture her getting action, but she's so modest.  what do you think?"
evidently, that's a mood-killer.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 26 Mar 2007, 17:23
my ex pissed me off during one time, so in response i began to wonder aloud:
"i wonder if you mom has good sex.  i mean, she's got a decent body.  hell, I could picture her getting action, but she's so modest.  what do you think?"
evidently, that's a mood-killer.

ahhh yes bringin up moma is never really a good move when theres lovin to be had.

A horrible thing:
"Wow who knew live bodies felt so good?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Johnny Evilguy on 30 Mar 2007, 14:30
Andrea, that depends if the other person is into necrophilia... :laugh:

Worst thing to say during sex:

"I think we should see other people... right...wait...wait...any second now... right.... NOW."

"HELLLLOOOO IN THERE!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME..ME...Me...me me me me..?"

"Its Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!.. *in sync with motions*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ApocalypticBunny on 02 Apr 2007, 07:06
Singing the lyrics to a Top 40 song as loudly as you can.

Nobody else would get this, but

"PUUUUUULAZUUUUMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Woohoo!  Another Mystical Ninja fan!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Johnny Evilguy on 02 Apr 2007, 10:17
"For Tonight, WE DINE IN HELL!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 02 Apr 2007, 10:37
"THIS...IS...CAKE TOWN!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Nicky_Pot on 02 Apr 2007, 22:47
For all you ladies out there, without regard for the sex of your partner : Just quote tank girl's "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"
You guys out there could do the same, i suppose...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 06 Apr 2007, 18:41
"Im just a sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transilvania" gotta love Rocky Horror Picture show  :-D
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 08 Apr 2007, 13:18
"Good boy, oh yeah, fetch!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mal42 on 09 Apr 2007, 03:14
i'm thinking something like - "hey jeff?  are you sure you want to bury this one?"   :angel:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Finity4 on 09 Apr 2007, 13:29
.... Fizzgig.

Most offensive or malicious: "You never learned how HIV was transmitted, right? Just checking."

Most ridiculous: "Ever meet someone with a prehensile penis? Congratulations!"

Most unrelated to the actual act, but taken in the context can ruin a situation: "I wonder if that was a chunk of dolphin in my tuna this morning..."

Philosophical: "Rape isn't consensual, right? Say yes."

Plageristic: "Happy birthday granddaughter! 5 is a big year."

Far too common: "* faint noise of snoring*"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 09 Apr 2007, 17:35
"If by steril you mean i washed up befor this then yes"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ApocalypticBunny on 10 Apr 2007, 05:49
.... Fizzgig.

Most unrelated to the actual act, but taken in the context can ruin a situation: "I wonder if that was a chunk of dolphin in my tuna this morning..."


"I wonder if that was a chunk of tuna in my dolphin this morning..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MechZilla on 12 Apr 2007, 01:56
Just as a way to get rid of my last S.O. (she was getting annoying):


"I wonder what my ex-wife is doing right now....?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 12 Apr 2007, 05:43
"Is this gonna take long? My girl/boyfriend may get jealouse"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NealsonLewison on 12 Apr 2007, 09:46
"i stoped (some other activity) for this? what a waste of time!"

"im just doing this for the after sex cigarette"

"wait, whats your name again?"

"how much is this going to cost me anyway? i only have 5 bucks"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: qtownstegy on 12 Apr 2007, 14:49
I'm gonna reformat your hard drive so hard!

"I doubled my stamina there."
"We had sex for 30 seconds!"
"I know." *wink wink* "Just wait till next time and think about how satisfied you'll be."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NealsonLewison on 12 Apr 2007, 21:37
I'm gonna reformat your hard drive so hard!

"I doubled my stamina there."
"We had sex for 30 seconds!"
"I know." *wink wink* "Just wait till next time and think about how satisfied you'll be."


guess you wouldnt really say those DURRING sex... but obviously shortly after.... very shortly.....heh30seconds...heh i remember one of my friends after he had lost his virginity was like really sad cause it only lasted like 30 seconds........i laughed at him..... but he dates a model now.. so i geuss he has the upper hand now
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 13 Apr 2007, 19:53
I think singing twinkle twinkle little star at the point of climas would be a bit o' a downer
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 15 Apr 2007, 06:17
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5546/screenshotiw5.png)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: nikefido on 15 Apr 2007, 16:55
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5546/screenshotiw5.png)

:shock:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AnotherQCaddict on 15 Apr 2007, 18:48
... that little sister thing is really sort of freaky.... they look enough like each other anyway... grahahahaHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! *charges for 30 episodes*

*explodes in a destructive release of deadly energy emitting a blue light shining in all directions, creating stark shadows on the other side of objects blocking the light, and then the shadows being destroyed by the destruction of the obstruction due to the energy's release*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NealsonLewison on 15 Apr 2007, 21:18
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5546/screenshotiw5.png)

:shock:
:-o :-o :-o :-o :-o
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: HoboCoat on 16 Apr 2007, 10:25
 Hehehe... they do look like they're related sometimes.

 "Is it in yet?" is a classic...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 16 Apr 2007, 16:00
"YEEAAAAAAAAAHH BOYEEEEEE ITS FLAVA FLAAAAAAAAAAAAVE"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Johnny Evilguy on 16 Apr 2007, 21:08
The pic wins the thread hands down,

Damn, what issue number is that panel from, I don't remember what the original text says... unless that is the original text :-o

*cowers in the corner*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 18 Apr 2007, 02:13
848

"Then do what bost!"

"I'm the guy with all the bird tattoos!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rilder on 18 Apr 2007, 08:12
"Not Again"

"Oh Rufus"

"Blllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggg"

"Yep deffinatly gay/lesbian"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WelshPete on 18 Apr 2007, 10:13
You wanna grade the person on the sex.

Quote
You showed a good level of viarety in positions though you need to improve on carrying them out. Overall the experience was pretty average though you did put alot of effort into it.

Overal Grade - B

Points for improvement: Perfect some of the positions performed.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mr_Seth on 18 Apr 2007, 11:31
"Ohhh, yeah. Shoot me full of that AIDS. Gimme that gonnorhea. SCREW ME WITH YOUR SYPHILIS!" When the other individual breaks off and says they don't have any STDs, reply "Phbbt. Then what's the point?", get dressed, and leave.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 19 Apr 2007, 08:47
Start squealing like a pig and yelling "SUWEEEEEE(sp?)" or any barn yard noises would work.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: the-artful-dodger-rodger on 19 Apr 2007, 12:59
I still like "saving throw" throws a d-20 it lands you get a 3.

 second choice "merry christmas bitches" or "Hot pootie bless my soul I really love that rock'n'roll"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Barmymoo on 19 Apr 2007, 15:16
Nitpicking here but isn't Dora OLDER than Marten? Don't know why I thought that but there's an idea at the back of my head that she is...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mal42 on 20 Apr 2007, 04:56
Fizgig rocks.

hehe  that brings me to a good one...

"just tell me your legal."

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Barmymoo on 20 Apr 2007, 16:43
Here's why I think Dora's older!

436 (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=436)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 20 Apr 2007, 16:47
I think this one makes it more obvious.

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=144
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Andrea on 27 Apr 2007, 16:52
I still like "saving throw" throws a d-20 it lands you get a 3.

 second choice "merry christmas bitches" or "Hot pootie bless my soul I really love that rock'n'roll"

My two most favorite musicals  :-D
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cgarci21 on 07 May 2007, 13:30
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!

Also anthing in Yoda speak like "In you I am"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: blooflame on 08 May 2007, 20:57
The appropriate place to add a favorite sex-related joke, I think...

"Your tits are too small and your pussy's too tight!"

"Get off my back!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Stan on 09 May 2007, 10:09
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/talk-crazy-sex.php

"Pandora's oral box had been thrown open and out came a sometimes disturbing stream of verbal diarrhea. I would have broken up with her about the time she instructed me to, "kill me, please kill me," in the dying voice of one of the colonists from LV-426, but by God, the sex was amazing. She was really getting into it and I couldn't tell her to stop now that she finally seemed to be enjoying herself."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Pshha on 09 May 2007, 14:39


"I'm missing world of warcraft for this"

"Wow these sure work great, I'm glad I had that surgery" (Uni-sexual, personalize to taste)

"YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MechZilla on 10 May 2007, 23:06
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!

Also anthing in Yoda speak like "In you I am"



Nonono.....


"Sleep in the wetspot I won't!"
"You like that like that little green thing, do you?"
"Bend over and show me your Dark Side!"

Bugger...someone remind me to upload "Things Yoda Would Say in Bed".
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: kamorth on 14 May 2007, 21:51
"Your Daddy who is?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rocketman on 15 May 2007, 09:05
"These will be your last moments"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Pshha on 15 May 2007, 14:38
"My sister your not."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Clobbersaurus on 22 May 2007, 02:28
"hold on i need to queef"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Alphapenguin on 03 Jun 2007, 03:44
Start a countdown to the moment of orgasm.
"10... 9... 8..." etc., until finally...

"BLASTOFF!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Emaline on 03 Jun 2007, 20:10
True story:

Upon almost reaching orgasm, a guy once told me to "calm down." That's about when I said "get off, and get out."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: _nic_ on 06 Jun 2007, 19:06

IM SEXACUTING YOU!!

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Valrus on 07 Jun 2007, 15:31
Upon almost reaching orgasm, a guy once told me to "calm down."

Ugh, put that dangling modifier (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_dangmod.html) away. Look how pendulously and grotesquely it dangles.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Emaline on 07 Jun 2007, 18:32
Upon almost reaching orgasm, a guy once told me to "calm down."

Ugh, put that dangling modifier (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_dangmod.html) away. Look how pendulously and grotesquely it dangles.


Sorry, grammar nazi.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: billythehick on 08 Jun 2007, 12:22
"woah, i'm gonna devote, like, a whole page to this on my blog"

better still if you say video blog.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Cartilage Head on 10 Jun 2007, 12:45
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c213/hey_there_fatty/jerkcity2841.gif)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Stefan Autsa on 10 Jun 2007, 13:28
Here's a few:

"Shit, the camcorders almost out of tape."

"They were right; blood is the best lubricant."

"I just thought I'd let you know that I was dared to say something stupid during sex by some people on a message board, but I decided not to, because, as I told them, I love you and don't want to jeopardise this thing we have.  I may love the sexoffenders.com forums, but I love you more.  I thought you'd just want to know."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mikagon on 11 Jun 2007, 23:52
Old but still funny,

"Is it finally over?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: sarielthrawn on 14 Jun 2007, 23:38
"I love you dad"


... and for the record, tears make the best lube.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: dps on 16 Jun 2007, 01:28
"Let's get this over with.  There's a football game on ESPN in 3 minutes, and I don't want to miss the kickoff."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Stefan Autsa on 16 Jun 2007, 01:43
"Have you seen my tazer anywhere?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 16 Jun 2007, 13:45
"FREEBIRD!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: sarielthrawn on 17 Jun 2007, 04:44
From Bill Hicks:

"Mommy, why am I bleeding?"

From The Simpsons:

"It tastes like burning!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AlecTrevylan006 on 17 Jun 2007, 11:14
http://photos-927.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v77/95/122/598175044/n598175044_628927_1471.jpg

And I'll always be a fan of shouting out the name of their family members and such... I'm the kind of guy who screams out "Oh Margaret!" and she stops and goes "wait... my mom?"

Blue balls are a small price to pay in the name of comedy
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Alphapenguin on 17 Jun 2007, 19:25
These are more gender-specific than most, but they're worth it. Of course, they only really work towards the start of sex. 

For a guy to say to a girl: "OH GOD, IT'S EATING ME!!!"

And the other way around: "OH GOD, IT'S A SNAKE!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Indigno on 27 Jun 2007, 16:05
"Wow!  This new thing works GREAT!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: HPPH on 27 Jun 2007, 18:05
"Im just a sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transilvania" gotta love Rocky Horror Picture show  :-D
Sorry but for quite a few of us, screaming that aloud is a turn on.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Shremedy on 15 Jul 2007, 06:35
1.  "What was your name again?"
2.  "Oh my God, he's got a gun!" (said while looking around behind partner)
3.  "The doctors said I was cured, but I fooled them...."
4.  "Sex, like murder, should never be performed before witnessess, right?" (based on a line from a Steven Brust book)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: jesswah on 15 Jul 2007, 07:57
A few weeks ago, in my room at my parents' house I got:

"Imagine if your parents walked in now..."

Not exactly a turn on...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: wMike on 17 Jul 2007, 06:34
From your wife/GF:

Right before entry "Stop, I don't have to do this". As she leaves the room "I need to call ( best friend's name) and tell him I got my period"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: glenngjp on 17 Jul 2007, 09:55
Just a few things I feel should be added to the list;
A high pitched whistle in your partner's ear,
THIS IS SPARTAAAAA,
Any C huck N orris joke, and of course
Leeerooooy Jenkins!.

Oh my god! Any time you type C huck N orris without the spaces, it puts Anal Prolapse! Bahahaha!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: TrekkieTechie on 18 Jul 2007, 21:31
"I haven't fucked like this since grade school."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mikagon on 19 Jul 2007, 21:22
"My god! You feel like warm pudding!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: snubnose on 20 Jul 2007, 01:16
Oh my god! Any time you type C huck N orris without the spaces, it puts Anal Prolapse! Bahahaha!
Chuck Norris ... you're right.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: TrekkieTechie on 20 Jul 2007, 14:32
You know, there's a reason it does that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ReverandMaynard on 23 Jul 2007, 11:03
Don't really know if this has been posted yet, but I'm a big fan of...

"So... what was your name again?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: snubnose on 24 Jul 2007, 04:47
Don't really know if this has been posted yet, but I'm a big fan of...

"So... what was your name again?"

Just a  couple postings above yours.

1.  "What was your name again?"

Like most statements given here, this one has the problem of being not believable unless its a one night stand.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ReverandMaynard on 25 Jul 2007, 13:46
Ah, my bad, I guess I should've more carefully read the thread instead of just skimming it  :angel:

Anyway, since it's already been said, I've got a few more nice ones to offer... and my bad again if they are reposts  :wink:

"Do you accept Visa?"

"On second thought, let's turn off the lights."

"And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!"

"Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober..."

"I want a baby!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Othello on 25 Jul 2007, 15:30
I not sure why this one isn't on the thread yet. (maybe I missed it)

"This is my boomstick!"

And many other lines that fall out Ash's mouth.


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mellow D on 26 Jul 2007, 03:16
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"

"is it in yet?" should i find it odd that my girlfriends didn't freak out/be annoyed/make much of a reaction when i said that? :?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Cenyu on 26 Jul 2007, 04:05
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring - Bananaphone...."

Or the annoying Crazy Frog jingle.

Acually every annoying jingle.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Washu on 27 Jul 2007, 10:57
"You know, I probably shouldn't be doing this until I get the results for those tests back..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Steverett on 31 Jul 2007, 16:17
This one works for either:


TETSUUOOOOO!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Khatt on 01 Aug 2007, 17:50
Just start speaking in tongues, if you know latin then start screaming it.

Also, the entire time give a sports play-by-play type thing. Of course, baseball is classic, but if you're really creative you could try something like curling or synchronized swimming.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Lotus on 02 Aug 2007, 18:19
Compliments of Mike Doyle from 24, and to use after climax:
"The device, IT BLEW!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: flyingpenguin on 02 Aug 2007, 18:46
Just put your finger to your ear and yell something like, "WEAPONS FREE, TAKE  HIM/HER DOWN"
any movie tagline: "In a world of 1's and 0's, are you a 0, or The One?"
The full Eagles fight song,
and of course, "Ahhh! Ninjas!"
one more: "DOC!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: tonyb640 on 09 Aug 2007, 02:44
Right when you get done roll off and
'"say that'll do pig, that'll do"

works for both sexes but if the guy says it...on seconed thought never say this you will be killed in your sleep
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mikagon on 09 Aug 2007, 23:11
After sex:

"Fuck where'd the condom go?"
-A few moments later-
"Oh right, I didn't put one on."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: kk974 on 10 Aug 2007, 15:04
unless any of yall are texas aggies, or at least know of Texas A&M, you probably wont find it amusing, but i have gotten a kick out of yelling "GIG EM, AGS"

although that may just be my twisted humor... =P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: teh pwn queen on 10 Aug 2007, 23:21
During climax or post-coital, just smile at your partner and say.... "Oh yeah, I rock" and just get up and leave.
Giving off the impression that you did everything.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: jsnipe on 11 Aug 2007, 10:40
five simple words:

Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, mushroom MUSHROOM!
Badger,Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, etc etc.

bored with typing it, but I can't stop singing it!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: snubnose on 11 Aug 2007, 16:52
QC #599 says one should just fart during sex... its a check if the partner really loves you, though. Not a worst thing to say, or, in this case, do.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ChaoticEvil on 12 Aug 2007, 02:05
Take a look and when you penetrate say, 'holy shit.. something died up here!.. I can feel it's ittybitty carcass.'
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: flyingpenguin on 12 Aug 2007, 15:13
Pull a guitar from out of nowhere and launch into "Purple Haze" and when your parter asks what you are doing begin screaming the lyrics.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Alphapenguin on 12 Aug 2007, 18:19
If your partner is a guy, when he takes his pants off, scream out "OH MY GOD IT'S A SNAKE!!!"

If your partner is a girl, in mid-sex, scream out "IT'S EATING ME ALIVE!!!"

Enjoy!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: GuyIncognito on 13 Aug 2007, 08:10
First "Please don't bite - noooo!" then "Please, please for the love of God, don't swallow!!".
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: iconoclast on 14 Aug 2007, 21:54
"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"

Win.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: b1plusb2 on 14 Aug 2007, 23:55
I have to ask this more than I would like to..."You're watching the t.v. again aren't you?"

It totally ruins the mood, and I should learn by now not to have the t.v. on.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mcfly on 16 Aug 2007, 18:41
"Oh man, the laxatives are kicking in.."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Penitent Tangent on 18 Aug 2007, 18:07
This might have been done already;

"Autobots, roll out!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: gritxviet on 20 Aug 2007, 23:53
Ahaha the only reason I signed up to the forum is to reply to this thread.

So I'm thinking we definitely need a Harry Potter one so...:

"Oh Harry! Cast that spell on me with your wand!"

And of course there's:

"It's really distracting how much you look like your mom/dad"
"I WANNA GET OFF THE RIDE! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"
"I really feel bad about putting that in your drink..."
"This is probably a bad time to tell you but... I clogged your toilet"
"FREE THE BEAST!"
[After sex]"I charge $5 a minute so that'll be... $3"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: snubnose on 27 Aug 2007, 14:13
ROTFL

Found a collection at http://www.unmoralische.de/ (german site, sorry). Best ones:

- Can you wake me when you're finished with this ?
- Please stop wheezing
- But I've just brushed my teeth !
- Besides, did I mention my webcam ?
- Its so nice to have sex with a woman you dont have to pump up first !
- Hopefully you still look that good once I'm sober
- You're almost as good as my ex
- I think I better masturbate instead
- You're so good, you could be a professional
- With more people it would be more fun
- Have I mentioned my grandma died in this bed ?
- Could you please put a paper bag over your head ?
- Please make coffee... or cant you do that either ?
- My mother was better at that ...
- Besides, wheres the remote control for the tv ?
- Please dont take my laughter personal - everyone looks funny when naked
- Oh, besides, you're my first - for today.
- You're remembering me of that prostitute ...
- Strange. So much fat but still no titts.
- Have I mentioned why I was in prison for twenty years ? (Remember, its germany. No, theres no death penalty here !)
- Dont shake so much, I want to drink my beer !
- Oh wait a moment, I need to visit the bathroom (errm more vulgar - but I only know the nice british way to say that in english)
- HA ! And another infected !
- Ready ! Next please ...
- One more wiskey... I'm not drunk enough for this yet.
- May I open my eyes again ?
- Congratulations, you're the 1000th woman I slept with !
- Can we just be friends ?
- Sorry - have we started ?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Krulla on 27 Aug 2007, 20:07
"I've got AIDS"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: umcloud on 29 Aug 2007, 00:53
The worst I can think of is: once you start getting into it, start calling out your own name.  Simple, elegant, completely hilarious. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NothingIncorporated on 30 Aug 2007, 05:09
"Your dad taught me this way...and your mum taught me this way..and they BOTH taught me THIS way"


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: shinytoydragon on 31 Aug 2007, 10:34
ZERG RUSH!!!! :lol:

NOOOOOooooo! Get out of my head, Charles!

and on the topic of HP: "Expeliarmus!", "Avada Kedavera!", or just a running quidditch commentary ending with "and she got the snitch!"(hopefully, the beaters had little to do...) ^_^

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 27 Sep 2007, 14:48
I was just thinking about how funny it would be to start humming the theme to Super Mario Brothers while you are doing it.

Dum dum dum dum dum DUM dum...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NothingIncorporated on 28 Sep 2007, 00:46
"Oh yes Keith Chegwin! YES YES YES!"


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: big hair sam on 28 Sep 2007, 02:45
Never sing we all live on a yellow submarine whilst having sex......its not cool apparently :|
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 28 Sep 2007, 23:04
"Happy birthday, Rover!"


Do I win? Or have I been beaten to the punch?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 29 Sep 2007, 17:15
"oh, I thought you were a dude/chick"
It works whether you guess right or wrong!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cuervo on 29 Sep 2007, 23:06
stolen from family guy, but i think its absolutely hilarious and fucked up at the same time

"heres that condom i said i put on!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 30 Sep 2007, 22:34
ROTFL

- Dont shake so much, I want to drink my beer !


I dated a guy who was actually turned on by the idea of me drinking a beer while we were sexin.'  I guess it's not that weird.  Beer and ladies is a good combination. 

I dated a different guy who thought it would be hilarious to yell "SHAZZAAMMM!" at climax.  He never actually did it, just told me it would be funny to him.


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rocketman on 30 Sep 2007, 23:12
"I AM THE GOD OF WAR!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: viva_x on 30 Sep 2007, 23:37
ZERG RUSH!!!! :lol:

NOOOOOooooo! Get out of my head, Charles!

and on the topic of HP: "Expeliarmus!", "Avada Kedavera!", or just a running quidditch commentary ending with "and she got the snitch!"(hopefully, the beaters had little to do...) ^_^



i have a tattoo that says Expecto Patronum, and my boyfriend told me that he was going to yell it out during sex once....   he never did. thank god.


personal favorite for sex screaming:
YAHTZEEEEEEEEE
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 02 Oct 2007, 21:58
personal favorite for sex screaming:
YAHTZEEEEEEEEE

I just about fell off my chair at that.  I don't know why it tickled me so...but it did.  Kudos on the funniness.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kartoon Kween on 02 Oct 2007, 22:40
I think we should all take a cue from John Lennon and start moaning Winston Churchill's name during any type of sexual act.  Intercourse, masturbation circles, you name it!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: iyodelforjesus on 03 Oct 2007, 09:00
'Oh freddled gruntbuggly' would freak me out
or alternatively singing Climb Ev'ry Mountain from Sound of Music...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: BlackBooks on 03 Oct 2007, 22:31
I can't believe nobody has entered this one yet...

"GIT-R-DONE!!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cuervo on 05 Oct 2007, 02:13
"my fortune cookie told me this would happen" :wink:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 05 Oct 2007, 14:41
KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Ryszardthebored1 on 05 Oct 2007, 22:07
The Hokey-Pokey.

"Seacrest, OUT!"

Play "Into the Void"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Clobbersaurus on 05 Oct 2007, 23:53
"hey i forgot to call mom, can you remind me when we're done?"

"i stopped the toilet by the way"

put on Battles' "Mirrored" and sing along

"STOP BOTHERING MICHEAL JACKSON"

"EL OH EL penis"

FREEEEEDOM!!!! <---------(probably posted already, huh?)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kalessin on 06 Oct 2007, 06:01
"Yeah, I'm still really close to my ex-girlfriend.  I stuffed her into the mattress."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: GlassHousesInc on 06 Oct 2007, 10:01
"Could you put your arm a bit, babe? I can't reach the ashtray from here."

*Freezing like a deer in headlights* "I forgot your mother just called... I put her on speaker."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MedPig on 09 Oct 2007, 03:21
Sorry, I'm new.  I meant this to go in the weekly comic discussion thread in reaction to February 2nd's comic, but I don't seem to be able to post new topics there (?).

It's not something you'd say while having sex, per se, but in my fifteen years of being a cop, I know for certain knocking on the car window, asking if everyone is okay in there, PRETTY much puts an end to the party...

I used to call it "Copus Interruptus"...   :police:

Strangely, the folks I interrupted didn't find it as funny as I did...

The BEST part was telling them once I knew everything was okay, they could continue...

(THAT was funny)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: shinytoydragon on 11 Oct 2007, 23:56
It's not something you'd say while having sex, per se, but in my fifteen years of being a cop, I know for certain knocking on the car window, asking if everyone is okay in there, PRETTY much puts an end to the party...

I used to call it "Copus Interruptus"...   :police:

Strangely, the folks I interrupted didn't find it as funny as I did...

The BEST part was telling them once I knew everything was okay, they could continue...

(THAT was funny)

holly shit. that is the funniest thing evar.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: DontPanic6x9 on 12 Oct 2007, 07:25
"I just lost the game."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AngelofShadows on 12 Oct 2007, 15:10
"I AM THE GOD OF WAR!"

Win.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AngelofShadows on 13 Oct 2007, 10:57
You've done well so far, but lets see how well you fare after my ULTIMATE ATTACK!!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 13 Oct 2007, 13:45
KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 13 Oct 2007, 15:01
Start humming/whistling the victory theme from Final Fantasy.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 13 Oct 2007, 15:34
Threaten to perform an "omnislash" with your "Buster Sword"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: muteKi on 13 Oct 2007, 21:01
Start humming/whistling the victory theme from Final Fantasy.

I assume that you've read Ctl-Alt-Del?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 13 Oct 2007, 21:35
Wasn't that from Dueling Analogs?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 13 Oct 2007, 22:15
Start humming/whistling the victory theme from Final Fantasy.

I assume that you've read Ctl-Alt-Del?
You assume.....incorrectly. :( Coincidence, I suppose. Though I shall check it out now.

I actually only played FF3 for SNES (or FF6, whatever, same thing), because someone said I "had" to play it. The best part of playing it - now I know a bit of the music and the style, which helped me to understand a Robot Chicken scene.:)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: muteKi on 14 Oct 2007, 01:13
Yeah, you're right. I just realized when I read the post. I get all of those VG related webcomics mixed up.


ALSO: TIME TO EAT... YOUR SOUL!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 15 Oct 2007, 20:51
"Rosebud!"



"Aah...aaahh...aaahh AAAHHH! AAAAAAALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!!"


Hold up both hands and give peace signs.
"I am not a crook!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: onepostwonder on 16 Oct 2007, 03:48
Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!

Instumental

I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)

There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.

Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

All together now!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.

Instumental

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AngelofShadows on 16 Oct 2007, 05:50
Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!

Instumental

I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)

There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.

Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

All together now!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.

Instumental

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

....I'm guessing you'd have to be amazing, or she'd have to be drunk, or both, for you to pull that off and not get punched in the face.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 16 Oct 2007, 08:27
Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!

Instumental

I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)

There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.

Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

All together now!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.

Instumental

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

I'm assuming the band and back-up singers would be in the corner. Or maybe for better effect, have it in surround sound.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Blayze on 16 Oct 2007, 16:52
"Final... FUUUSIOOON!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: shinytoydragon on 17 Oct 2007, 00:58
oh are we doing song lyrics now?

I can't think of the lyrics right now, or I would write them, but singing Maxwell's Silver Hammer or Drive My Car would be hilarious.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AngelofShadows on 17 Oct 2007, 06:46
"Alright, let's wrap this up people, we have another shoot in 45 minutes"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kairuka on 28 Oct 2007, 22:45
Girls:
During sex: "Oh, hi dad!  When did you get home?"
After sex: "Nope, don't use contraceptives, those are against my religion, and why would I anyway?  You can't get pregnant if you're not married, my church leader said so." *smug smile*

Guys:
During sex: "Oh god, you are so much better at this than your brother!" (spoken to a woman...)
After sex: "Oh shit, I knew that felt too good...damn discount condoms!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kartoon Kween on 28 Oct 2007, 23:43
"I can has orgasm?  No?  How bout cheezburgers?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 29 Oct 2007, 15:04
Kartoon Kween, this one's for you:





"I'M POOPIN"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kartoon Kween on 29 Oct 2007, 18:43
Oh, Lawd!  You remembered my favorite lolcat!

Probably the worst thing you can do during sex is to take a well known song and replace the words with sexually explicit lyrics.

Example:

"Over there!  Over there!
Send the word, send the word, over there!
That my dick is cumming, my dick is cumming,
And I won't pull out till it's over over there!"

Not only will this get you kicked out of bed, it might earn you a restraining order.

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 29 Oct 2007, 18:46
In the spirit of my new avvie -
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v631/kauhornz/phoenix-wright-ace-attorney-2.jpg)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Kartoon Kween on 29 Oct 2007, 20:14
Is that what you say when he tries to stick it up your pooper?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ampersandwitch on 30 Oct 2007, 04:23
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v631/kauhornz/phoenix_wright_news.jpg)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Catfish_Man on 01 Nov 2007, 23:24
C-c-c-c-combo breaker!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: axerton on 02 Nov 2007, 03:54
"Coh, there's a whole new world through there"


"This is the part where you run away"


"Suck it down"



Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NothingIncorporated on 05 Nov 2007, 00:48
Oh.. Keith Chegwin!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mummbly_joe on 08 Nov 2007, 15:01
*"Clatu Verata Necto"
What am I saying... that would be completly AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: iNeedanadult on 10 Nov 2007, 16:37
Guy climaxes and says "I peed."

Perfect for a man who can't tell whether he's coming or going. ;P

Also: "So are you gonna give me a candy bar like Father Nolan did?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Melt Down on 20 Nov 2007, 02:50
LEEEEEROY JEENKINS!

Sorry if someone has already beaten me to it
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Sherwood WindRunner on 20 Nov 2007, 07:30
"That doesn't reach over there!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 20 Nov 2007, 20:09
FATALITY
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Sherwood WindRunner on 22 Nov 2007, 19:01
(That gave me a good idea, StMonkey)


CUMALITY!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 22 Nov 2007, 22:18
mmmm....perfect finish
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Dax on 25 Nov 2007, 14:03
"Hang on, the camera battery has run out.."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Leinad on 25 Nov 2007, 20:01
"Oh Baby! Oh shit, yeah! Yeahh, yeah yeah yeah! Stroke it baby! You're so fucking hot! Omigod I'm cumming-"

"BINGO!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: hepcatmerkin on 04 Dec 2007, 22:46
"Dad?  Can you pretend to be mom tonight?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: FoolOnTheHill on 04 Dec 2007, 23:41
The worst I can think of is: once you start getting into it, start calling out your own name.  Simple, elegant, completely hilarious. 

That gets win ^
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: FoolOnTheHill on 04 Dec 2007, 23:56
Alright, here's a few I can think of:

-- "Almost, almost, almost, there we go." (for a guy, remaining completely motionless)
-- "That had to be the best sex I've ever had Rex-- I mean Racheal!"
-- "Wow, all that porn paid off after all."
-- "Roll over, rogues do it from behind baby." (for the World of Warcraft geeks out there)
-- "CTHULHU AWAKEN!" (At climax)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: shinytoydragon on 05 Dec 2007, 22:02
-- "CTHULHU AWAKEN!" (At climax)

wow...



Im'a charg'in ma lazza!

Shoop da woop!(at climax)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Carmine on 05 Dec 2007, 22:36
WOLVERINES!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: PirateLiberal on 05 Dec 2007, 23:10
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars.  For example, "Negative.  Didn't go in!"

Or

"Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"

Maybe...

"You came in that thing?  You're braver than I thought!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 06 Dec 2007, 04:46
IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay that one was kinda dumb, but someone had to say it
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Ryld on 14 Dec 2007, 20:35
i still say u can't beet martins "happy birthday grandma", i tried that once.... it kinda ruined the mood... my gf was laughing so hard neither of us could continue.... though it was fun laughing for over a half hour ^.^
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mev852 on 15 Dec 2007, 20:45
I was reading an Anime Thread when I picked up this one on a similar topic:

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!... DYNAMIC EXIT!... DYNAMIC ENTRY!... AHHH! I EXPLODE WITH YOUTH!!"

Disturbing, isn't it?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Ryld on 16 Dec 2007, 05:41
that sounds like something u would find in one of this old fashioned poorly translated erotic novels  :mrgreen: :lol:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: TwinkyToes on 16 Dec 2007, 13:12
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: NickRaciti on 16 Dec 2007, 18:01
Nick: Put this blindfold on, it will be erotic.

Amy: *Puts blindfold on*

Nick: *Pushes water pistol against Amy's head* If you scream, I'll end you.

It was funnier a week later.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AngelofShadows on 17 Dec 2007, 06:11
Just start screaming "BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH I NEED AN ADULT"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: quietdevious1 on 18 Dec 2007, 00:45
Start crying and saying, "I'm sorry, Jesus!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: hurkkk on 25 Dec 2007, 11:42
"I love you."
"Great, does that mean I don't have to wear a condom?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Indigno on 25 Dec 2007, 22:37
"Wait, I'm pretty sure I had a condom on a second ago..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: captain zoe on 26 Dec 2007, 12:49
"hold on i need to queef"

This made me laugh hysterically, no joke. 

How about the sound Jawas make -- "UUTEEENEEEE!" 

"My penis is cumming, my penis is cumming!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeneration X on 26 Dec 2007, 15:46
My ex said "Bananarama" on night, not good!  :roll:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: 0kamisama on 27 Dec 2007, 07:29
I can remember one issue of "Life in Hell" that had a few suggestions for this sorta thing...

1: (While partner is climaxing) "Zzzzzz...zzzzzz"

2: "Oh Lord in heaven, forgive me for this vile sin I am committing"

3: "That reminds me, what's you sister/brother doing tomorrow?"

4: "Have you gained weight lately?"

5: Partner: "I love you"  You: "Oh c'mon, don't spoil it!"

6: "Forgot to tell you, I'm leaving for Siberia tomorrow"

7: (phone rings; you answer) "Hello? ...eh, nothing much, how 'bout you?"

EDIT: forgot a personal favorite (#7)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: StMonkey on 27 Dec 2007, 08:38
I must say, today's comic(#1044) has Marten saying something that might ruin the moment.
"Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: captain zoe on 27 Dec 2007, 10:01
"Aaaass yooooooou wiiiiiiiiishhhhh!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 30 Dec 2007, 17:56
I must say, today's comic(#1044) has Marten saying something that might ruin the moment.
"Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth."

That would work.
Mr. Bianchi's comment before that would work also:
"I musta whacked it to your mom's pictures a million frickin times!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 08 Jan 2008, 09:48
What was the number for this particular episode?
i have spent the entire morning rereading the archives but cannot find it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 08 Jan 2008, 10:15
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 08 Jan 2008, 12:05
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810
I thank you.

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Fidel Fanst on 08 Jan 2008, 23:57
I'm gonna go with Marten on this one. Referring to you Grandma is always a killer in this situation. Not that I have any experience with that, thank god....
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 09 Jan 2008, 08:53
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange

I always hope a telemarketer will call during a sex session...

Telemarketer: are you eating right now?

Me: not yet, but when its my turn, she will let me know.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: pen on 09 Jan 2008, 10:55
Unrelated to the thread itself, but to the comment above....

We like to fuck with telemarketers at home, and one time, one called and it was a carpet cleaning company.  My daughter's uncle answered the phone.  The conversation went something like...

Uncle:  "Do you have employees that clean large carpets?"
Marketer:  "Yes sir, they are well qualified to do large carpets"
U:  "Do you have employees that will clean a small carpet?"
M:  "Of course, sir, we do all sizes!"
U:  "Sorry for the questions, but just one more; do you have employees that will clean a medium carpet?"
M:  "Yes, sir, as I said, we can most certainly accommodate you"
U:  "OK great!  Oh, one more thing.  Do you have any employees that lick carpet?"

-click-

It was great.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mummbly_joe on 09 Jan 2008, 12:27
I think the worst thing a guy could say to a chick would be: " I think I just peed inside you." I know I would be grossed out.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: captain zoe on 09 Jan 2008, 15:56
Oh holy god!  I just got seriously grossed out!  That would definitely be a mood kill....
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: minus on 09 Jan 2008, 18:52
"I really need to take a shit right now.."
- Yeah, I know.. Toilet humour.. But it would definitely kill a mood for me.

I had an older chick I'd brought home once tell me she felt like a pedophile.. That killed things as well.. For a while.

"You'll get a better angle if I move my fat rolls to the side."

"Sorry, but I haven't eaten all day." Then you produce a big, dirty burger out and drip crumbs over her while still thrusting.

"Oh god, I'm sorry and drunk and I have no idea whether I just came or pee'd but, either way, I'm not wearing a condom.."
- Ew? (Edit: I didn't realise that this was said two posts up.. Being late sucks.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Eiger on 09 Jan 2008, 19:22
"I can't believe it's not butter!"

"John! John! Did you get that on camera?!"

"Are you by any chance related to <insert name of sibling or parent/grandparent> because you really feel similar."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: minus on 09 Jan 2008, 20:09
Maybe your own running commentary during sex?

"Look at that, John.. The 50.. The 40.. The 30.. Oh, sweet jesus, look at him go..!!!"

Or in a more documentary like feel:

"Watch, now, as I, the male, slides his erect penis further into the females opening. Eventually, he will explode within her and each little sperm will wriggle its way around, frantically searching for the egg. [Insert verbose sperm count/behaviour/scientific facts/descriptions here]."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mummbly_joe on 09 Jan 2008, 21:06
"Billy was right, it does feel better with real people."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Fidel Fanst on 10 Jan 2008, 02:52
Maybe: "Billy was right, it does feel better with live people."?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mummbly_joe on 10 Jan 2008, 05:57
Maybe: "Billy was right, it does feel better with live people."?

I considered that afterward. Also " dad was right, it does feel better with living people" sounds kinda disturbing as well. Especially if it was fallowed by "happy birthday grandma."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Fidel Fanst on 10 Jan 2008, 06:01
Jeez, I never even considered the combo with "Happy birthday, Grandma"... Mental images!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 10 Jan 2008, 08:02
"Dad was right, you ARE tighter than mom, but my sister still has you beat!"

"Wow Grandma, you feel so wet, did you pick the scabs and let the puss run?"

"Mind If I sneak one past the goalie?"

"this feels much better when my herpes is not flaring up"

"last time I did this, it made me burn when I pee"

Unrelated
Why did the condom fly across the room?
It was pissed off!

This may become the best thread on this board!

Grimmy
LOOK AT IT GO!!!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: blanktom on 22 Jan 2008, 14:56
at climax - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Grimmy on 24 Jan 2008, 12:59
at climax...

THIS IS....OVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

then roll over and say, "seriously. Get out. Im done with you now."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 24 Jan 2008, 23:30
"To Infinity And Beyond!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ledhendrix on 25 Jan 2008, 07:39
Can you get that scab? It's leaking puss everywhere.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 26 Jan 2008, 10:20
*At Climax*
"BELIEVE IT!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 26 Jan 2008, 11:24
"Sweet, check it out, there's a Giant in the Playground (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0001.html)!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 27 Jan 2008, 19:37
"Hurry up already, gotta poop!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Apple Pie on 27 Jan 2008, 19:39
Can you get that scab? It's leaking puss everywhere.

*shudders at the thought*


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 31 Jan 2008, 08:50
"Meh."  (Alternative:  sing "Is That All There Is?")

"You know, I think I may be gay."  (Replace with "straight" if your partner is same-sex.)

"Well, everything seems to be working.  If that part gives you any more trouble, just bring it down to the shop."

"I'm rolling double twenties!"  (Unless your partner is an RPG geek, in which case s/he'd probably find it funny.)

"You validate parking, right?"

Any religious chant, particularly if done in synch with the act.  Especially recommended:  "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa..." (while beating your chest with one hand);  "Yitgadal veyitkadash shemei rabba..."

"At last, we have opened the portal.  Enter, O Dark One!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 01 Feb 2008, 05:26
(At climax): no..no..no...WHYYYYYYYYY???

Answer your phone (bad enough  by itself): "You think you're busy? I'm actually having sex! ...OK, put him on."

"So that's sex? I don't see what the fuss is about."
(beaten to the punchline by Michael Nehora. Damn you, registration trouble!)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 01 Feb 2008, 09:09
*In He-Man voice*
"I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cynnabyte on 04 Feb 2008, 02:04
"Go go gadget climax!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 05 Feb 2008, 17:53
"You know, is this really necessary?"

"If you complete this test, there will be cake."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: bgugi on 06 Feb 2008, 15:37
(afterwards) - "the cake was a lie"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: DigiSim on 06 Feb 2008, 15:55
"This is getting boring. What's on TV?"

"Pull my finger."

"Oh, wrong hole. Meh, as long as I'm in here."

"So who needs lube?"

"Jeez, my sister gives better head than you and she's only six."

"You want a pearl necklace? Get your own jewelry, you greedy bitch!"

And the worst thing to say, especially if you're using a condom.

"Oops."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 07 Feb 2008, 14:37
"You're nearly as good as my hand!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 07 Feb 2008, 21:54
"You're not half the woman your brother was last night."

(As your partner is about to climax:)  "Wait--who am I?  Where am I?  Who are you and what are you doing--NOOOOO!"

"This is so going on /b/.  Say 'cheese!'"

"Oh, there's where I stashed the duct tape.  Now then, here hamster hamster..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 08 Feb 2008, 06:14
"You're not half the woman your brother was last night."



Behind that comment would be a terrifying abyss that you really don't want to gaze into.

"This is so going on /b/.  Say 'cheese!'"


Sorry if it's a stupid question. What is /b/?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 08 Feb 2008, 07:07
Sorry if it's a stupid question. What is /b/?

/b/ is the "random picture" thread on the 4chan boards.  As I understand (not being interested in visiting it myself), it's notorious for shocking, disgusting and/or irreverent content.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 09 Feb 2008, 15:55
*In He-Man voice*
"I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR!"

This. Is. Brilliant.
I laugh whenever I think of it.

Sorry if it's a stupid question. What is /b/?

/b/ is the "random picture" thread on the 4chan boards.  As I understand (not being interested in visiting it myself), it's notorious for shocking, disgusting and/or irreverent content.

Thanks for that.

Today's suggestions:

"Ffffffor the WIN! L-O-L!!!"

"Mission Completed." (In a generic female computer voice. Especially if you're male.)

The whole of the Green Lantern oath. "In blackest night..."

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: conn on 10 Feb 2008, 03:29
*In He-Man voice*
"I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR!"
haha yes
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 10 Feb 2008, 08:16
Wow, no one's done this one yet?



"Erkk.....AAAAHHHHhh.......
This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, HUGE success!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 12 Feb 2008, 22:30
"s-s-S-Smurfette! Shit, I mean, Erica...."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 13 Feb 2008, 01:01
"So um, how does this work?"

(Pointing at your partner's private bits:)  "What.  The Hell.  Is. THAT."

"Results may vary."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."



And while we're bordering on blasphemy, here's one for men only:

"My rod, my rod, why hast thou forsaken me?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Shrinkydinks on 14 Feb 2008, 17:25
This isn't so much something to say but yeah, laughing, laughing is pretty bad.

My boyfriend laughed at me in the middle of the deed. I wanted to punch him in the face.

butthole.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cgarci21 on 14 Feb 2008, 19:06
I'm not sure if this has been posted yet but if you're a girl...

"The doctor said it would be self-lubricating."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 14 Feb 2008, 20:39
This isn't so much something to say but yeah, laughing, laughing is pretty bad.

My boyfriend laughed at me in the middle of the deed. I wanted to punch him in the face.

butthole.

Found this one many places online:  When Paul Lynde, the regular "center square" guest on Hollywood Squares was asked,  "According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?",  he answered,  "Point and laugh."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Outshined on 14 Feb 2008, 23:48
"FLAWLESS VICTORY!!"

"Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger...!!"

"I am ze Ubermensch!!"

"Ha ha hah, you just got owned!"

"You did well!!"

"Does this make my butt look big?"

"I wish I knew how to quit quotin' Brokeback at you."

"Oh my god!  It's even better than that time at Vegas!"

"Get down and give me twenty!"

"...I feel dead inside..."

"You just got Rick Rolled!" 


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AsteriskEnye3 on 14 Feb 2008, 23:52
In the spirit of a recent comic, I think hork hork hork hork hork hork hork would qualify.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: rainnsreinn on 15 Feb 2008, 08:30
"Oh no" and "Oops" are never good things to hear.
"My preacher is better at this" is also pretty good.
"My cell mate was better" is a nice touch.
Any talk of a furry costume would probably do the trick though.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rocketman on 15 Feb 2008, 08:45
"Is it supposed to be green?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 15 Feb 2008, 12:24
"It's not rape if you yell 'SURPRISE!'"


Or along with that "SURPRISE!" in general.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: bbqrocks on 15 Feb 2008, 13:07
'This is just getting ridiculous'.

'spider pig, spider pig...'
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: conn on 15 Feb 2008, 13:33
Screaming "ARE YOU OKAY?!" in Terry Bogard's voice would be hilarious imo
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: shantred on 15 Feb 2008, 14:20
Okay, not sure if this has been done, but i've already read 3 pages and not seen it. So here we go:

"IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAND!!!!!!"(during climax of course)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 15 Feb 2008, 16:54
"So um, how does this work?"

(Pointing at your partner's private bits:)  "What.  The Hell.  Is. THAT."
Sheer brilliant.

"Results may vary."
"The value of your investment may go down as well as up."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."

And while we're bordering on blasphemy, here's one for men only:

"My rod, my rod, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Puns are surely a bad thing during sex. Still, that deserves a prize.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of evil..."

"FLAWLESS VICTORY!!"

"Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger...!!"

"I am ze Ubermensch!!"

"Ha ha hah, you just got owned!"
Those are excellent.
Though surely the last one would be worse as "Ha ha hah, you just got pwned!" I guess this is pronounced "puh-wan-d!"

"I wish I knew how to quit quotin' Brokeback at you."
There are not words to praise this.

"You just got Rick Rolled!" 
You'd have to start singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" first.

 
"...I feel dead inside..."
"No, that's me."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: foofighterq on 15 Feb 2008, 17:33
"hmm, so the carpet doesnt match the drapes after all"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 18 Feb 2008, 08:28
In the spirit of a recent comic, I think hork hork hork hork hork hork hork would qualify.


You win the thread, imho.


Also, I knew a guy who actually did do this:  After having sex, he turned to his girlfriend, and said AWESOME! HIGH FIVE!! and totally high-fived her. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ledhendrix on 18 Feb 2008, 08:29
You know when you've got an awesome girlfriend when you can do that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The gF on 18 Feb 2008, 08:38
Worst thing to do during sex?

Break up with her.  Right after you orgasm, but before she comes.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 18 Feb 2008, 08:51
Worst thing to do during sex?

Break up with her.  Right after you orgasm, but before she comes.

Notice to future boyfriends: I will cut you if you ever do this to me.


(I keep looking at the hork hork hork comment and laughing.  I can't help it. hork hork hork hork hork hork hork)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 18 Feb 2008, 08:52
Oh man, someone please make hork hork hork hork hork hork hork your sig?  I don't want to do it because I like mine too much, but come on, it would be awesome.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ledhendrix on 18 Feb 2008, 08:55
There is a modify button, no need to double post thank you.

Also, Screaming diarrhea then shitting the bed would probably be one of the outright worst things to do.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The gF on 18 Feb 2008, 09:03
Oh man, someone please make hork hork hork hork hork hork hork your sig?  I don't want to do it because I like mine too much, but come on, it would be awesome.
Done.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Somethingfake on 18 Feb 2008, 09:04
There is a modify button, no need to double post thank you.

Also, Screaming diarrhea then shitting the bed would probably be one of the outright worst things to do.

What about licking it all up afterwards?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: grendler on 18 Feb 2008, 21:06
worst thing for a woman to say to a man
It's like a penis only smaller

worst thing for a man to say to a woman
does anybody else smell fish?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: invisiblechild on 18 Feb 2008, 21:45
after orgasm

"I WIN! AGAIN!"

(although the aforementioned "FLAWLESS VICTORY" is better for me, I'm not sure everybody would get the reference)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Superkid11 on 20 Feb 2008, 09:52
"It might feel a bit strange as it goes in."

Got that from a friend's post about an operation he had. Not on here. :P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 20 Feb 2008, 09:54
"It might feel a bit strange as it goes in."

Got that from a friend's post about an operation he had. Not on here. :P

This naturally leads to:

"You might feel a little prick."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: improbability driver on 20 Feb 2008, 10:32
Upon climax, just shrieking bloody murder for as long as possible. Scream until you can't scream no more, and carry on as if nothing had happened afterwards. Do not explain yourself.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 21 Feb 2008, 09:56
This naturally leads to:

"You might feel a little prick."

And that gives a horrifying new dimension to Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb":

Okay...okay....okay...
It's just a little pin-prick
There'll be no more (AAAAAAA!)
But you may feel a little sick
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: dta74 on 21 Feb 2008, 14:11
well, I posted this in another topic... but here goes again:

"Stop it, Dad!  That tickles!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 21 Feb 2008, 14:37
"Gooooooaaaaaaaaaalllllllll!"

"It smells like love!"

"I want my deposit back"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: cptnspldng on 21 Feb 2008, 20:28
There can be Only One!

The spice must flow!

Feel my Gom Jabbar!


also...the one thing you must never say in a Victoria's Secret store: "Does this come in kid's sizes?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 21 Feb 2008, 22:21
Feel my Gom Jabbar!


Okay, that one did actually make me flinch.  Ech.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: mrjoegangles on 21 Feb 2008, 23:44
For lady hookers:

"Ten percent of your donation goes towards AIDs research."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 21 Feb 2008, 23:52
"Damn I hate these splinters"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Switchblade on 22 Feb 2008, 00:15
This naturally leads to:

"You might feel a little prick."

And that gives a horrifying new dimension to Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb":

Okay...okay....okay...
It's just a little pin-prick
There'll be no more (AAAAAAA!)
But you may feel a little sick


man, fuck that song, it's too long. I just fast-forward to the guitar solo nowadays.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: lizardg33k on 22 Feb 2008, 02:09
"lets do the time warp!!"

"TIMMEH!"

start reciting the lord's prayer

"what did you just put in me??" (especially good for a guy)

"jeez, i think your mom has a bigger penis than you!"

"don't freak out if the baby kicks!"

(before sex) "you know, 3 hour ago, i was a virgin"

-lizardg33k
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 22 Feb 2008, 04:03
"I want us to have dinner with our parents"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 22 Feb 2008, 04:12
"For years, I've been searching for someone with a birthmark like that. Are...are you my sister?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 22 Feb 2008, 04:48
"For years, I've been searching for someone with a birthmark like that. Are...are you my sister?"

You mean....you didn't know I was your sister?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 22 Feb 2008, 05:39
:laugh: Trump card!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: lonewolfsis04 on 22 Feb 2008, 08:53
"are you done yet? -rolls eyes-"

"Well that was...um...well that was...uh...you know what...that just sucked."

"Hurry up and get dressed. The pastor should be here any minute."

"That goes WHERE?"

"...And that's where babies come from [while pointing to the womens genitalia]"

Yourself: "Thank you for helping me come to conclusions."
Member of the opposite sex: "Conclusions?"
Yourself: "That I'm gay...I mean really...that was the most repulsive thing that I have ever experienced."

"I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doom doom etc."

"I loved you piggy, I love you"



and of course:
BARBRA STREISAND!


And really, don't let the blankets get on your nerve and yell "GRAWR!" like a dinosaur...unless you really want to...you have been warned.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: jordinyc on 25 Feb 2008, 14:12
"mmm ... oh yeah .. oooh ... .. .    wait, hang on a sec ... oh goddamnit not again! Listen, do you have any needlenose pliers?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 25 Feb 2008, 19:20
If you're a man, start talking in a Betty Boop-type voice.  For extra credit, sing "I Wanna Be Loved by You" in synch with the boinking.

"Blessed is the Lord who teaches my hands for the war, and my fingers to fight."

"Now, how to explain this...you see, when a Papa Bird and a Mama Bird love each other very much..."  Then bring out the finger puppets.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 25 Feb 2008, 20:28
here are my suggestions:

"The sleeper must awaken!"
"SPRING BREAK!"
start screaming "OPRAH!"
any reference to Family Guy
"I can has hamburger"
any refferences to furries
"SUPER SAYAN!"

and my favourite:
"badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 26 Feb 2008, 00:23
and my favourite:
"badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom..."


Alternatively: "It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!  Peanut butter jelly time!"


peanutbutterjelly peanutbutterjelly peanutbutterjelly with a baseball bat
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 26 Feb 2008, 12:33
That was already said. May I add "Damn you Sauron!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 26 Feb 2008, 12:59
Or any lord of the rings reference.  Particularly if he/she has a piercing down there.

"The one ring"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Border Reiver on 26 Feb 2008, 13:20
And with the exercise innuendo from today:

"Come on and work those abs, that's it!  Three more, two more, one more and ..... hold it!" (must be said in some chipper exercise instructor sort of voice)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 26 Feb 2008, 14:22
Reminds me of the tune a couple of years ago made from a Jane Fonda video, which would surely be a bad thing to quote (or to have playing)

"Two, three, two, three, four and back...chances are, you've worked up a good sweat by now!"




On the LOTR tip, how about "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: muffy on 26 Feb 2008, 16:47
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange

I always hope a telemarketer will call during a sex session...

Telemarketer: are you eating right now?

Me: not yet, but when its my turn, she will let me know.


I used to do telesales. Part of our 'training' included listening to a call whereby a couple in the act were called and didn't hang up the phone...the best part was, they listened to the spiel about insurance first, and then the sort of gasping sounds interrupted the poor telesales guy...

But, on topic:

This one for guys: "This is just like the last time I went bowling!"

and...

"So, have you tried watersports before?"

"I think you broke it"

"So, I spoke to my ex today..."

"Good effort."

"Shabba!" (Not that funny, but I knew someone who thought themselves hilarious for that one)

(In the voice of a young kid) "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Start singing Sic Transit Gloria

"So, if you're free tomorrow, shall we take a trip to the VD clinic?"

...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 26 Feb 2008, 18:16
Or any lord of the rings reference.  Particularly if he/she has a piercing down there.

"The one ring"
Lord of the Cock Rings

It adds new context to this line:

"And he cut the ring from Sauron."

Then the guy picks up the ring, and as he holds it in his hand, it shrinks considerably.
"Aw come ON, that's just rude!"


On the LOTR tip, how about "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
That's the slogan for Gandalf's Condoms.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: catbhn21 on 26 Feb 2008, 19:49
"Damnit, this isn't working, it's too loose."

interpret that as you will, I imagine a guy saying it.

Alternatively, "Damnit, this isn't working. You're not hard enough."
That could be a legitimate thing to say, as awful as it is...

I don't really think it's the worst though. Anything that forces you to think about family makes me cringe.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 26 Feb 2008, 20:57
not really a worst thing/best thing but one time i was dared to answer my phone while we were doing it...i'm sure the conversation was a little strange

I always hope a telemarketer will call during a sex session...

Telemarketer: are you eating right now?

Me: not yet, but when its my turn, she will let me know.


I used to do telesales. Part of our 'training' included listening to a call whereby a couple in the act were called and didn't hang up the phone...the best part was, they listened to the spiel about insurance first, and then the sort of gasping sounds interrupted the poor telesales guy...


I used to do telesales a few years ago too, but we definitely never had any training like that!  Maybe you worked for a more "corporate" (read: organized) place than me?  Mine was selling season tickets to the theater, and later, raising money for nonprofits.  Although I dealt with a lot of really weird stuff in the couple of years that I had those jobs, I'm actually pretty sure I never called anyone while they were, uh, "busy," or at least I never knew it. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Carpens on 26 Feb 2008, 22:36
Pre (guy to girl):  "I brought a condom, so it's okay that you, y'know, get around."

During (either):  "Look, I don't want to freak you out, but... nevermind."

During (either, to the person who chats/texts way too much):  "O M G!  B R B, K?", then leave.

Post (either):  "Okay then.  Do you have any lotion?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 27 Feb 2008, 05:11
"I want you to sign a prenup"

"Don't suppose you know what cures herpes do you?"

"Backdoor Sluts Nine!"

"In the hole!" (Like they yell out at Golf tournaments)

"You're like a waterbed"

"I'll have what she's having"

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 27 Feb 2008, 17:06
Best Idea evar!

Sing flight of the Valkyries! (especially when about to go...)
Alternatively, do any reference to Goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, or teletubies.


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 27 Feb 2008, 18:23
"So this is what a hot dog in a hallway feels like."

"Hold on, I need to put in a new tape."

"Surprise!  You're on Candid Camera!"

"And I would do anything for love...but I won't do that!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 28 Feb 2008, 18:01
Ahhh..AHHH.....I AM OOOZZZZ! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: the-artful-dodger-rodger on 28 Feb 2008, 18:49
worst thing to say

"I think I need to see my therapist now"

two from BioShock

"would you kindly"

"Come on mister bubblers, angels wait for no one"

and "Flame on"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Alphalpha on 29 Feb 2008, 05:44
any reference to Family Guy
BUTTSCRATCHAAA!

Starting singing 'Easy like Sunday Morning'.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 29 Feb 2008, 20:05
[In a toddler's voice:]  "Mine!  Mine!  You can't have it, MINE!"

"Now before we go any further, please sign and date here...and here...press hard;  you're making two copies."

[For men:]  "One-Mississippi, Two-Mississippi, Three Mississ-- [pull out]  All right, I just topped my previous speed!...What?  A 'congratulations' would be nice."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Alphalpha on 01 Mar 2008, 03:48
"Now before we go any further, please sign and date here...and here...press hard;  you're making two copies."
The other person actually is signing and dating  :lol: I like that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 02 Mar 2008, 19:05
A nice thing to do is to grab a hand held video game and play something, while on top...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Johnny C on 02 Mar 2008, 23:42
It wasn't really a screamo scream but he just full on yelled for about 30 seconds.

This would be best if you force the other person to maintain eye contact the whole time.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: anythingxbutxnormal on 04 Mar 2008, 17:12
Worst thing to say.

"Uh...you know what? I think we should keep the lights off after all..."

:| Simply terrible.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: anythingxbutxnormal on 04 Mar 2008, 17:14
worst thing to say

"I think I need to see my therapist now"

two from BioShock

"would you kindly"

"Come on mister bubblers, angels wait for no one"

and "Flame on"

Hahaha! FLAME ON! I have to admit. If a guy ever did that to me. I would think he was joking...and most likely fall down with laughter. Also my sides would probably split open...or at least that would be how I'd feel after laughing at them.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 04 Mar 2008, 19:36
"SING FOR ME!" ala Phantom of the Opera.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: simonterry on 04 Mar 2008, 20:18
"Victory for the forces of democratic freedom!"

David Foster Wallace, anyone?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 05 Mar 2008, 05:46
"The proletariat will be kept down no longer!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: The Viz on 05 Mar 2008, 07:08
Based on the experiences of a friend of a friend...

Girl: "Oooh yeah...oh yeah...OH YEAH, oh...oh yeah, OH OH YEAH!"

Guy: "Shut the hell up!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 05 Mar 2008, 10:12
Once in college I was walking along and overheard a girl discussing the previous night's encounter.

Quote
I stared at the ceiling for like 40 minutes, so I said, "Are you going to come or what?" and he said, "I told you; I'm hungry."

I really wanted to turn around and say something, but what?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amaroq on 05 Mar 2008, 12:25
I don't think there is a good response to that, Surgoshan.

For during sex, there's always..

"Uh, I don't think this is working for me. Wanna go {X} instead?"

... for maximal effect, {X} should either be something excessively boring, or excessively disturbing:

" ... Wanna go check out that Bodies exhibit instead?"
" ... Wanna play some Trivial Pursuit instead?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 05 Mar 2008, 12:45
Ah!  AHH!  KIDNEY STONE!

I don't think the biology quite works, there, but damn if that wouldn't kill the mood.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 05 Mar 2008, 12:50
"Pull my finger."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 05 Mar 2008, 13:11
Girl: "Oooh yeah...oh yeah...OH YEAH, oh...oh yeah, OH OH YEAH!"

Guy: "Shut the hell up!"

I love it.  Especially because it's generally someone in the next apartment who says that (often together with thumping on the wall).
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 05 Mar 2008, 14:07
heh
xkcd

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/loud_sex.png)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 05 Mar 2008, 14:10
The best line in that strip is "Not really."  Despite the character having no face, you can picture the bitterness.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 05 Mar 2008, 14:50
"A little to the left."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 05 Mar 2008, 20:11
No one ever says that.

Not even people whose lovers are tilted to the right.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 06 Mar 2008, 01:15
Bullhockey! I'VE said it, and it was great. Humor is just another way to enjoy the experience.

"Momma needs her happy juice." Cried out by the female just prior to male climax. The setup: before getting intimate, I had told her that I had read something about refuids released by males supposedly working in such a manner as to encourage the production of endorphines in females.  When she dropped that bomb on me, I laughed myself impotent. It was fun, and quite endearing.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 06 Mar 2008, 11:18
Start crying after you make her orgasim.  Then tell her you want to talk about feelings.


...Sadly I know a girl who had this happened to...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: rancidhooligan on 06 Mar 2008, 14:26
"Madam, your gritty, unclean rusty sherrif's badge is one of the most repellent orifices I have ever had the displeasure of sinking my gnarled, disease-infested man pole testicles-deep into.  The vile stench nearly had me regurgitating my midday meal all over your backside.  I have no desire to see you again.  Good day to you."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 06 Mar 2008, 14:33
 :-o YOU WIN!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 06 Mar 2008, 16:20
"Madam, your gritty, unclean rusty sherrif's badge is one of the most repellent orifices I have ever had the displeasure of sinking my gnarled, disease-infested man pole testicles-deep into.  The vile stench nearly had me regurgitating my midday meal all over your backside.  I have no desire to see you again.  Good day to you."

"I love it when you talk salty old sailor to me."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: foofighterq on 06 Mar 2008, 21:15
only works if ur the other person plays The Game:

I Just Lost

my ex would react with punches n kicks whenever i made her lose The Game, and saying that in the middle of sex was the most cruel thing i had ever done to my own balls
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 07 Mar 2008, 21:40
Start crying after you make her orgasim.  Then tell her you want to talk about feelings.


...Sadly I know a girl who had this happened to...


Really?  So do I, and the story is kind of notorious, particularly the "talk about feelings" part.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 08 Mar 2008, 12:16
*shrug*
Talking about feelings isn't the horrifying thing most guys make it out to be.

"Pew Pew!" At climax.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Border Reiver on 08 Mar 2008, 15:00
Yes, it is
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 08 Mar 2008, 16:36
*shrug*
Talking about feelings isn't the horrifying thing most guys make it out to be.


You're right, it really isn't.  But it really can be when a guy actually says "Can we talk about feelings?" after sex.  I mean, come on, that is so awkwardly emo that even the most awkwardly emo bright-eyes-listening, postsecret-reading, livejournal-posting teenage scenster wannabe will feel embarrased to be there (or so I've heard).
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 08 Mar 2008, 16:39
Grimace before you orgasm and say "KamehameHA!"

Or, alternatively, on climax, "COWABUNGA!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 08 Mar 2008, 18:09
Quote the entire trench-fight from the end of Star Wars.  Then you can call your junk, at various times, "Luke", "my lightsaber" (for guys), or "Sarlacc" (for girls).
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 08 Mar 2008, 18:32
I can see it now:
Guy: *prepares to begin*
Girl: *has an intensely serious expression* "Stay on target.*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 08 Mar 2008, 18:55
Yeah, if the girl's narrating, the guy really has to wonder what's going to happen when Vader shows up.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 08 Mar 2008, 20:23
She'll declare herself to be his father and attempt to turn him to the dark side of course. What THAT means, however, is anyone's guess.  :-P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 08 Mar 2008, 22:11
Actually, I was referring more to the fact that Vader surprise attacked from behind.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 09 Mar 2008, 00:30
What else could I mean by "dark side"?  :-P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Chryselephantine on 09 Mar 2008, 09:19
I think that anything quoting avenue Q would qualify.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 09 Mar 2008, 12:51
Lies and slander! There is not a single line from Q that's not appropriate to the bedroom.  :lol:
"The more you rove someone, the more you want to kirr them."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 09 Mar 2008, 13:04
"Could you do me a favor and pretend to be a boy?"

Doesn't really matter who is saying that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 09 Mar 2008, 16:43
"High Five!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: idiolect on 09 Mar 2008, 17:04
Previously mentioned only a couple of pages ago:


I knew a guy who actually did do this:  After having sex, he turned to his girlfriend, and said AWESOME! HIGH FIVE!! and totally high-fived her. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Electrified Sprinkles on 09 Mar 2008, 21:37
This is something I talk about with my friends a lot, and we all agree that "Arrgh! My brocolli's escaping!" is a classic.
hahaha omg I have GOT to say that at some point in my life.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Electrified Sprinkles on 09 Mar 2008, 22:04
 :-D The best is screaming "SURPRISE!" At the climax!

It confused the heck out of your partner.
"Surprise what?"
"Don't you like surprises?"
"No...?"
"...oh... well crap..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: AshiHalfangel on 09 Mar 2008, 22:12
"SING FOR ME!" ala Phantom of the Opera.

OMG, I love you....I'm a Phantom of the Opera freak.

In addition, sing in a whispery, creepy voice, "I am your angel of music...come to me, the angel of music."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 09 Mar 2008, 22:39
I can see it now:
Guy: *prepares to begin*
Girl: *has an intensely serious expression* "Stay on target.*
"You may not look like much, but you've got it where it counts, kid."

"Don't look at it like that! Master Yoda said 'Size matters not!'"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 10 Mar 2008, 04:30
"Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: RKDelpiero on 10 Mar 2008, 06:01
"I like chocolate milk"

"You are now my property"

"I'll get you a towel"
"Why?"
"When the time comes...you'll know"

(Hum the Indiana Jones theme song)

"Khaaaaaaan!"

"There is no orgasm, only Zuul"


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 10 Mar 2008, 06:46
Start crying after you make her orgasim.  Then tell her you want to talk about feelings.


...Sadly I know a girl who had this happened to...


Really?  So do I, and the story is kind of notorious, particularly the "talk about feelings" part.

haha.  She asked him to spank her...so he did...kind of...but then wanted to "talk" about it...whatever that means...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Siert on 10 Mar 2008, 08:36
I have been dared, sadly I haven't the guts,  but is to recite as many Gir quotes as possible from Invader Zim, and count how many it takes before she leaves.

Quotes would probably include

"I'm naked!"
"I saw a Squirrel!"
"BURITO!"
"I love you piggy!"
"MONKEY!"
"I'm running!"

I am weak, I can't get the guts to say it, my baslls would NEVER forgive me.

I fail at this thread :(
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 10 Mar 2008, 10:09
"Go-go Gadget-Gasm!"


"Almost there, baby! aaAAAnd, It's time for Aaanimaaniacs!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Chryselephantine on 10 Mar 2008, 15:30
Girl: Oh, yeah, that is good *screams guys sister's name*
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Blackcat Moebius on 10 Mar 2008, 15:39
"Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."

There's always the usual winner in the 10 Dirtiest Lines in Star Wars (http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/8889/starwars.htm) lists:

'Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!'
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 10 Mar 2008, 15:56
Idio: Oh nerts. Now I feel silly. However, now I have to add that to my list of

Ashi:  :wink: I don't ever get tired of reading that. As an aside, I'm planning on getting one of those masks when I get back home. Got brainwashed into loving the phantom when by me mum playing the original soundtrack for me as a babe.

Jeff and Doug:  :lol: Awesome.

Moebius: That's terrible.  :laugh:


"Next." -said post climax while gesturing for another to enter the room.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 11 Mar 2008, 01:05
"This reminds me of that Questionable Content strip where..."

"This was a lot more fun on Second Life."

"So, my place next time?  Unless my mom has to come downstairs and do laundry."

[In high-pitched voice]:  "Tee hee!  Elmo loves having sex."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MissEmily on 11 Mar 2008, 19:52
The Expecto Patronum tattoo one gave me this idea.  Stare at him, and shout:

WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!

Although that's only funny (maybe not even if) if you know the reference.

(I'm new here.  Don't hate.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Amadeus on 11 Mar 2008, 20:46
*getting into the bed*
"NEW CHALLENGER!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Border Reiver on 12 Mar 2008, 05:48
The Expecto Patronum tattoo one gave me this idea.  Stare at him, and shout:

WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!

Although that's only funny (maybe not even if) if you know the reference.

(I'm new here.  Don't hate.)

Be funnier in the aftermath or if you want Round 2
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: vegeto18 on 12 Mar 2008, 06:42
I put on my wizard hat and robe. I CAST MAGIC MISSILE!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 12 Mar 2008, 09:08
Gives a slightly new meaning to "I attack the darkness!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 13 Mar 2008, 21:29
"As great as you are in bed, baby--L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics can make you even better!"

"Well, hell, (missy/mister), you ain't no goat after all."  (On a related note, putting "Dueling Banjos" on to set the mood isn't a good idea either.  Whipping out an actual banjo is even worse.)

"This show sucks.  Change the channel."  (When the TV isn't even on.)

"She bangs, she bangs..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 13 Mar 2008, 21:33
Realistically, saying "We need to talk" might be up high on the list.
Other than that, any line from Star Wars.  For example, "Negative.  Didn't go in!"

"YOUR EGG CAN'T DEFLECT SPERM OF THIS MAGNITUDE."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 14 Mar 2008, 00:12
"Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."

There's always the usual winner in the 10 Dirtiest Lines in Star Wars (http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/8889/starwars.htm) lists:

'Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!'
I think it was actually, "Get clear Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!"
But the sentiment remains. However, "Luke, at that speed will you be able to pull out in time?"


"YOUR EGG CAN'T DEFLECT SPERM OF THIS MAGNITUDE."
Wedge, at the surface of the Death Star v2.0: "I'm going in!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 14 Mar 2008, 10:36
"This reminds me of that Questionable Content strip where..."

It occours to me that any reference to QC durring sex would make it only better...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 14 Mar 2008, 11:07
If your partner is a QC fan like you or I, yes.  Not so much if your partner doesn't care for it or, worse, is a member of certain Something Awful forums which have an irrational obsession with hating QC, and for stupid reasons too.  ("Durrr durrr Marten is totally a stand-in for Jeph Jacques, it's all indie-nerd wish fulfillment, durr his artwork sucks, Achewood's art is much better durr.")  But then, as you've probably already gathered, I can't imagine wanting to have sex with a Something Awful member.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 14 Mar 2008, 20:22
better than having sex with a 2 girls 1 cup fanclub member...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Electrified Sprinkles on 16 Mar 2008, 18:13
What about...

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Oh my...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: bgugi on 16 Mar 2008, 18:47
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

i still don't know what that's from...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 17 Mar 2008, 03:37
What about...

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Oh my...

"[their name]...This Is Your Life!"

(Bit Anglocentric, but trust me, the scene would be hilarious.)

Edit: Oh, hang on, "It originally aired in the United States from 1952 to 1961." Well, no-one here will remember that.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 17 Mar 2008, 09:53
By the way, you just lost The Game.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: SirJuggles on 17 Mar 2008, 19:47
While you're having foreplay, just hum the Jeopardy theme song.

Then, for the rest of the night, address your partner (male or female) only as Alex, and speak only in the form of a question.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Michael Nehora on 17 Mar 2008, 20:43
Ah, game shows!

- Look at your partner's private bits and ask,  "Is that your final answer?"  Then use one of your lifelines and call a friend...with benefits.

- "Whoa...I'd rather have what's behind the curtain."  (For extra burn on your partner, add "...even if it's a donkey or an old couch.")

- "Gonnnnnnnnnng!"  (Then get out of bed and do the Gene Gene the Dancing Machine dance.)

- (For men:)  "Yeah!  I beat the clock! ...What?"

- "Bachelor(-ette) Number One, if I were an ice cream cone how would you--wait, there is only one of you?  Damn it!"

- "You may be smarter than a fifth grader, but in terms of bedroom performance, welll..."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: TanyaJ on 17 Mar 2008, 22:31
It's morphin' time!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 18 Mar 2008, 11:14
"I just stuck my penis inside your vagina, and will now proceed to thrust it in and out until I squirt semen into said vagina."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 18 Mar 2008, 12:38
"I just stuck my penis inside your vagina, and will now proceed to thrust it in and out until I squirt semen into said vagina."

Van Wilder beat you to that one.

"Gwenny, your warm labia feels so good!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rigor_Mortis on 18 Mar 2008, 13:48
"I just stuck my penis inside your vagina, and will now proceed to thrust it in and out until I squirt semen into said vagina."

Van Wilder beat you to that one.

"Gwenny, your warm labia feels so good around my swollen phallus!"

Fixed!
That scene gave me chills. To thinks someone out there might actually get off like that. Hurrrr
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Winged on 18 Mar 2008, 22:25
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

i still don't know what that's from...

Killer Instinct, says Wikichan.

http://www.wikichan.org/index.php/Combo_breaker (http://www.wikichan.org/index.php/Combo_breaker)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: SirJuggles on 19 Mar 2008, 09:09
The best part of all of these would just be trying to imagine someone's reaction. Just the sheer look on a person's face after they hear that...  :?

Makes me wonder... if you heard most of these, would you stop?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Reed on 19 Mar 2008, 16:46
I'm pretty sure mine tops most....and it's a true story

My friend was having sex with his new girlfriend for the first time, and just as he enters her she whispers in his ear

"Did Jamie (his past girlfriend) bleed your first time with her?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 19 Mar 2008, 19:06
say "Itsa Me, Mario!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 20 Mar 2008, 03:11
I bet that wold be a real passion-killer.

(After) "Don't go far - I'll have to disinfect everything."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Electrified Sprinkles on 20 Mar 2008, 20:27
Hehe... I was watching Howl's Moving Castle and found some dirty quotes:

"Look out! Crazy Lady with a shovel!!"
(Doesn't matter who says it... it just would take you off gaurd)

"Welcome to my secret Garden... You can come here any time you like..."
(Classic)


Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: SirJuggles on 20 Mar 2008, 20:29
"Wow! Thanks to you, I'm now eligible for a world record!"

Now, the question a world record for what???  :evil:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 21 Mar 2008, 09:31
Another bad thing would be "Do you know who Armin Meiwes is? he had the right idea..."
If someone says that to you, read his wikipedia entry and RUN!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: JD on 21 Mar 2008, 18:11
During sex "Hurry up Law and Order is on!"
 Replace the show if you want
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 21 Mar 2008, 23:08
lol liek maybe if da gy sez anothr grlz naem insted of the gil he fukin' that wold b SOOOO hilarius!!!12
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Border Reiver on 22 Mar 2008, 08:34
Can I get a translation of the above for those of us who are text impaired?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thy Dungeonman on 22 Mar 2008, 10:11
"Laugh out loud. Like, if the guy says another girl's name instead of the girl he's fucking, that would be so hilarious! Twelve."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 22 Mar 2008, 16:26
Didn't we have "El-oh-el!" as a suggestion a while ago? Maybe it should be expanded: ""U" "R" per-wan-d!!Oneoneone!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: SirJuggles on 22 Mar 2008, 17:39
Didn't we have "El-oh-el!" as a suggestion a while ago? Maybe it should be expanded: ""U" "R" per-wan-d!!Oneoneone!!"

"Nooooob!!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 25 Mar 2008, 19:27
Surprise!   Buttsex
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: peterpan02001 on 25 Mar 2008, 20:15
I had to register just for this.  I know its been around for a while, but I just started reading QC and just found  this thread.  A friend of mine had this one actually happen to him.  He had a girls knees over his shoulders when she told him to "take it like a man".  He said that he just stared at her for a minute, then left.  Also, I can't believe that no one has done either of these 1) yelling out "Another one bites the dust!!" after climax, or 2) singing "We Are the Champions"  during the act.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 25 Mar 2008, 20:29
Worse (or better) than that would surely be "Flash! Ah-Ahhh! Saviour of the universe!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Rocketman on 25 Mar 2008, 21:08
say "Itsa Me, Mario!"

After this, sing the Mario theme the whole time. Switch to the Invincibility theme as climax approaches.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thomas Edison on 26 Mar 2008, 00:56
Thomas Edison finds breaking into interpretive dance can be pretty fucking mood killing.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: waps on 26 Mar 2008, 07:29
make suggestive eyebrows and ask

"Do you have any oysters?"

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 26 Mar 2008, 16:26
"Is it just me, or is it a little cold in you?"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: failingwithstyle on 28 Mar 2008, 03:37
Surprise!   Buttsex

"With you, it's never a surprise."




Also, I think Hanners would win this thread now. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 28 Mar 2008, 03:42
"Eeeeexcellent," in your best Montgomery Burns voice.

or

"Excellent. Perfect! Gauntlet," in your best Quake III Arena announcer voice.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 28 Mar 2008, 07:42
So I didn't think about this 'til today's thread.  Several years ago my "girlfriend" (I use the term loosely) at the time uttered these fantastic words post coital:

"I think I've sustained plastic deformation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deformation#Plastic_deformation)!"

As it was about 4 in the morning (and also being an engineering geek), it remains to this day one of the funniest things I have ever heard.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Gundark on 28 Mar 2008, 07:46
I sure wouldn't mind hearing Hanners praise me for having "triggered a lot of dopamine receptors."  I know that's not one of the worst things to hear during sex... quite the opposite, in fact.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Chad K. on 28 Mar 2008, 14:04
Two actual baddies-

Once, when I was leaving my friend's house I asked his girlfriend to call him by my name during sex.  He saw me the next day and was all pissed off; I asked him if he finished anyway and he just got a sheepish look and said "Yes."

Also, when I was in college, we had a girl who used to come to the floor I lived on with the intention of having sex with absolutely anybody on the floor, which disgusted most of us.  After several unsuccessful attempts with several guys on the floor, one night she managed to land a friend of mine.  And then it began - over and over again through the thin dorm room walls she actually kept saying in drawn out syllables with a high-pitched, nasally voice, "Harrrrrrrderrrrrrrrrr!  Deeeeeeeeperrrrrrrr!  Harrrrrrrderrrrr!  Deeeeperrrr!," until ultimately culminating in, honest to God, "Oh... well ... YOU'RE THE KING! YOU'RE THE KING!"  Her sincerity was a little disconcerting.  I mean, who says that?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 28 Mar 2008, 14:32
"I think I've sustained plastic deformation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deformation#Plastic_deformation)!"

Clearly you were some way past "the necking phase" then.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Electrified Sprinkles on 30 Mar 2008, 16:52
 :-D So the other day I was having a chat with one of my friends... his name is Andrew.

We both were insanely bored and part of our conversation went like this:
(And yes, "how ofter do you masturbate?" or "whats the stupidest thing you've done with underwear?" are common default questions for me.

me: So, how often do you masturbate?
Andrew: Well... it depends on my mood, but one to two times a day, usually.
Andrew: Penis - zero, Andrew 3124 experience points!!
me: LEVEL UP!

...

Which brings me to the next worst/best...
You just start singing Missy Elliott's "Work it"

"Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my bang down, flip it and reverse it
It's your fremme neppa venette
It's your fremme neppa venette

If you got a big ***, let me search it
And find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's your fremme neppa venette
It's your fremme neppa venette"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 31 Mar 2008, 14:57
tried playing penis? Go in a public place like a silent library with a friend and sit at opposite ends of the room. Then start saying "Penis" louder and louder, at turns. The looser(s) chicken out. The winner is beaten by security...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Mr Mag on 01 Apr 2008, 00:07
A couple from the Command & Conquer games.

'Kane Lives'
'Can not deploy here'

I'll have to think of some more.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thaes on 01 Apr 2008, 00:37
"My manhood is now operational! All will bow before the might of my masculinity!"

I reckon that would be a rather bad thing to say just before the intercourse, unless the lady was a huge Sac-fan, in which case it could prove to be a major turn-on.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Jeff7 on 01 Apr 2008, 20:12
I have just applied a piece of tape to my penis. When removed, it will deliver to you the most efficient above-room-temperature lovin' in existence! I give you: Penisene! Here, try one.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: MrSteevo on 01 Apr 2008, 20:18
*At the End*

"April Fools!"

(About what? You decide)
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 02 Apr 2008, 05:42
A couple from the Command & Conquer games.

'Kane Lives'
'Can not deploy here'

I'll have to think of some more.

"PEACE THROUGH POWER"
"ONE VISION, ONE PURPOSE!"
"IN THE NAME OF KANE!"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Gall_4185 on 03 Apr 2008, 21:47
"Oooohhhhhhh Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh!!" (in a Macho Man Randy Savage voice)

Start singing Tenacious D's "Fuck Her Gently" or "Let's get it on"


And from personal experience "Did I just crack your ribs?" Something my ex said to me after i fell off the bed and was doubled over gasping for breath...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Romulus on 04 Apr 2008, 05:14
You get down really close, and whisper "bob doll" in a bestial/primal way.

And if she says what, you say it again.

The confusion erupting from this situation would be like dividing sex by zero.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Muskrat121 on 04 Apr 2008, 07:18
Hmmm...dividing by zero causes normal functions to explode...

So would Sex/0=sexplosoin?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 04 Apr 2008, 11:31
Nope; it'd be an eternity without sex.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: spluk on 06 Apr 2008, 13:00
not a fan of daft punk, but you could sing harder, better, faster, stronger.
or if an anime nerd yelling "BANKAI"
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 06 Apr 2008, 13:07
not a fan of daft punk, but you could sing harder, better, faster, stronger.
or if an anime nerd yelling "BANKAI"

Well, I AM a Daft Punk fan. So, thanks for the idea. I'll be sure to put it to use.  :-P
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Siert on 06 Apr 2008, 17:25
How about do exactly what Doug does in this lovely incarnation of "Doug"

http://www.punksandnerds.com/d/20060612.html

I wonder how many people have broke down in tears when they finish up :?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Lildaani on 06 Apr 2008, 21:49
"Buddy you're a young man hard man
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your boner all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you"

OH GOD. I just ruined that song for myself.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: gambollingsundae on 06 Apr 2008, 22:28
Could be posted, but I don't have the time/inclination to read all 11 pages.

"I just want you to know; I've had a vasectomy."
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODS!"
*perplexed frown* "Um...Oh.  Hm.  That goes where now?"

True story:

Dated a guy who looked like the paintings of Jesus - long hair, bead, etc. People gave him Jesus paraphernalia.

Anywho, he had this figurine of Jesus with its arms spread out sitting on his headboard.

It fell off and landed right next to my head.

Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Thaes on 06 Apr 2008, 23:55
Truly a divine intervention.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: ilubsweetbean on 07 Apr 2008, 01:27
"Nope, still gay."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Hadrian Emrys on 07 Apr 2008, 06:36
"Nope, still gay."

Oh that's awesome.  :lol:
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: frullic on 08 Apr 2008, 21:07
Dune quotes are always good...
I AM THE KWIZATZ HADERACH!
LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS!
and my personal favourite...
I must not fear.Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration...
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: sbakerj on 09 Apr 2008, 14:23
Man... if you guys were alive, this would be even BETTER!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Surgoshan on 09 Apr 2008, 14:25
That was so awesome.  I've gotta call Mom!
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: est on 09 Apr 2008, 17:13
This has nothing to do with the comic.  Moving into the off-topic forum.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: clockworkjames on 09 Apr 2008, 20:25
This has nothing to do with the comic.  Moving into the off-topic forum.

What effect would this have duuring sex? Simply a look of bewilderment?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Doug S. Machina on 09 Apr 2008, 20:31
This has nothing to do with the comic.  Moving into the off-topic forum.

What effect would this have duuring sex? Simply a look of bewilderment?

Then you get up and go to another room.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: jhocking on 09 Apr 2008, 21:21
This has nothing to do with the comic.  Moving into the off-topic forum.

I was about to ask where this thread came from.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Superkid11 on 09 Apr 2008, 21:27
"I feel bad that I'm cheating in my hand right now."
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Slick on 09 Apr 2008, 22:24
Guys realize that this means we are the dumping grounds for comic forum reject threads.
How does that make you feel?
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: öde on 10 Apr 2008, 01:15
It makes me feel like I'm full of sleeping pills.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: Patrick on 10 Apr 2008, 02:50
It makes me feel like making myself full of sleeping pills.
Title: Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
Post by: est on 10 Apr 2008, 03:53
I basically moved it into here so a bunch of you could say how bad an idea it was and I could lock it.

Mission: Accomplished.