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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Blue Kitty on 04 Nov 2007, 21:09

Title: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Blue Kitty on 04 Nov 2007, 21:09
So as not to get the Irrational Fears thread de-railed any further, I suggest we move zombie survival discussions to this thread.  What sort of wepaons would you make, what would be your plan, where would you go?  THink about it, it could mean the difference between walking normal and walking dead


yes, I know we have done this before, but that was a long time ago
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 04 Nov 2007, 21:16
I've actually discussed this with my roommates. We have a flat-roof house, so we're planning on keeping a tent and various supplies on the roof. We have a machete, a couple of baseball bats, and an axe inside the house for a quick getaway.

I want to get an old VW bus and outfit it with weapons and security measures, though. I know, big cars go against the zombie survival guide, but I don't want a motorcycle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Runs_With_Scissors on 04 Nov 2007, 21:20
My dad pilots large container ships for a living, so I would most likely gather my neighbors (as long as they weren't zombies yet) and whoever else I could find and get the hell on the boat. There's enough food on there too to feed a community of people fleeing a zombie uprising. And if we ran out, we could just start opening the containers to see what was there. And if somehow the zombies got aboard, there are enough weapons to fend them off.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 04 Nov 2007, 21:24
Getting "whoever else you can find" is such a bad idea. In the event of zombie emergency, there are two types of people: the ready and the dangerous. Anyone who is not ready is liable to kill you and everyone you're with. A zombie is predictable. "Run/Shamble. Bite. Moan." A panicky human is death.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 04 Nov 2007, 21:30
Short term:

Long term:

I'm still thinking my best bet is to get my sailing friend and booking it out to the sea. Anyone on the Great Lakes/east coast, we should co-ordinate so we can pick you up or you can add to a flotilla.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 04 Nov 2007, 21:40
(http://www.geocities.com/~jmgould/ftpix/spit.jpg)

This is an ocean fort. It is a couple of miles off the coast from the Isle of Wight. I own a boat. In the event that we have zombies that can walk across the seabed or the Isle of Wight is somehow infected otherwise, my plan is to get a good selection of hand to hand weapons together, attempt to acquire some rifles and shotguns, hopefully successfully, and a good store of canned and otherwise long-life food, and hoof over there. At least one further food trip would be made immediately, whilst the zombie uprising was still ongoing. I would take in a certain number of other survivors apart from family/friends, based on a careful analysis of survivors and food. The rifles and shotguns, hunting and target weapons ineffective against zombies, would mainly be used for fending off those deemed unworthy, or other such threats. Fishing would hopefully pad out food stocks a bit. Scavenging from coastal towns and stranded boats also an option. Ideally acquire necessary supplies (compost, seeds, maybe some animals) to set up a small-scale farming operation on the fort itself.

I guess I have no good plans for my current location in student accomodation in Bournemouth. I own an axe. I know how to use it in combat. I guess that is as far as my plans go. Actually, I would probably go to Poole, steal a boat, and enact this plan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: tania on 04 Nov 2007, 21:42
i ain't gonna team up with anyone in the event of a zombie uprising unless they can assure me with a straight face that they are willing to shoot anyone, no matter who they are, in the event that they get bitten. there will be zero tolerance for "but he's my friend, a bloo bloo bloooo" nonsense. that's how you DIE. i would want any of you to do the same for me*.


*please make sure first that i have actually been bitten and become a zombie before shooting
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 04 Nov 2007, 21:47
Slick, you're thinking well, but you've missed the middle step of getting around. If you're in a rural area, keeping on the move would be easy and you're not likely to encounter much resistance from the undead, so getting to a long-term point to hold out isn't much of a problem.

But, if you're in a city, you can't move faster than the person next to you. Getting anywhere in the city is going to be nigh impossible. Cars are useless and running leaves you vulnerable. Unless you are a le parkour master, you're effectively fucked 30 feet outside of your front door, either stopped by a horde of the undead or a mob of stupid, stupid humans.

Unfortunately, my own plan is only effective in the short term. I've considered ways to keep alive for longer than a week, but it would require a mad dash across my town. Lucky, it's small and open enough that I think I could survive but, without a vehicle, there's no way I'm getting out.

Also, I claim Tania for my team when this day comes. Staying alive is cold business; the jaws of the undead are colder.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 04 Nov 2007, 21:50
Don't isolate yourself anywhere that you can't escape. Khar's is a good idea. RWS' is bad. What if there are zombies on board the ship, or one of your survivors turns zomboid on you? You might get caught by surprise and lose a few of your comrades to zombification. Then what? Get into a lifeboat? You're in the middle of the Atlantic, effectively screwed.

With Khar's ocean fort, you have at least one handy escape route.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: michaelicious on 04 Nov 2007, 22:00
Fuck y'all, I'm joining the zombies. Brains are delicious.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 04 Nov 2007, 22:03
There's an incredibly securable building near me and it will be very likely to be more or less empty ... it's an air conditioning plant with a 40-foot corrugated steel wall around it, and the (massive, heavy) doors are always open.  Locked, it's completely impenetrable and has an open area big enough to land a chopper in (huge plus).  If you have something that can filter/purify water, you're basically set (it's an air conditioning plant and uses a massive amount of water but I wouldn't trust it), but there's no food sources nearby (there's a supermarket across a bridge from it but it would be very difficult to loot without putting oneself in massive danger).  Hopefully I would have enough food on hand to chill there for a few days, and I'd have a few friends who know about the place with me too.  And it's right next to a freight track that runs through (and out of) the city and is pretty much totally inaccessible to pedestrians except at the point next to my anti-zombie fort.  Downsides: no sniper capacity once targets get within 20 feet (the wall blocks the line of sight).  Also, the  outer wall doors are huge, so you can't fight zombies one at a time if they're outside and you want to get out.

The main thing about this building, aside from the massive impregnable wall around it and the chopper-landing capacity, is the fact that I have never seen a human being in it that I did not lead to it myself.  The likelihood that it will be inhabited by either living or dead is extremely slim, unless I'm not the only person who knows that it's the place to be (and the only other people who know that, as far as I know, are the ones I personally introduced to it).  It's fully operational 24/7 but I've never actually seen people working in it ... and there's certainly nothing in it that would attract zombies.  The only problem would arise if someone actually found it and holed up and wouldn't let me in ... but I'd beeline to it, I know on-foot short-cuts to it through low-danger areas, and I only live a 5-10 minute walk from it ... I'd totally get there first.

It's also right next to a highway, which probably helps a little.

You guys should look it up.  It's called the Module VII Chiller Plant, it's right next to the Grays Ferry bridge in West Philly, and it's totally the place to be if you're ever in Philly during a zombie apocalypse.

(I will actually probably be dead since I have no weapons and minimal food on me at any given point in time and I don't know the locations of any gun stores at all).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 04 Nov 2007, 22:13
Guns are not readily accessible down here... I keep a cane near my bed so that I can beat anything to death when I need to (it's a steel rod with a skull handle, I can get a pretty good swing with it).

I'm in an apartment on the outskirts of the city itself so I'm probably not in the best place for the Zombie Apocalypse. My plan would be to get my brother and my girlfriend and get ourselves to my friend's place up in the mountains. It's more defendable and she has CCTV around her house. Other than that I'm not sure. I was considering getting out into the desert because we'd have good lines of sight but I don't know. I'd probably be fucked.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gryff on 04 Nov 2007, 22:22
As anyone who's read The Walking Dead will know, you find a prison, clear out the zombie inmates, hole up, and nothing can go wrong.

Nothing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Emaline on 04 Nov 2007, 22:55
According to a guy I know, the boat plan is not so great

(n/a) (12:41:32 AM): That might be a good idea and it might be a bad idea.
(n/a) (12:42:32 AM): Giant flotillas of the living dead, their bloated bodies thrown together and drifting across the seas in deadly sheets kilometers square...
andlemonade (12:38:18 AM): Well, I doubt most zombies can swim(Hell, if you go by Zombies Ate My Neighbors standards, water will kill the zombies. But if you go by that standard, then drinking mysterious purple liquids will totally turn you into a monter for a short period of time!), and I doubt they'd be smart enough to piece together a zombie body raft
andlemonade (12:38:41 AM): However, if a zombie were to get on the ship, I'd be more than screwed
(n/a) (12:44:57 AM): No, no.  Just think of how debris clumps together in water.
(n/a) (12:45:25 AM): Now think of a million god damned corpses bloated with every imaginable foul glass following suit.
(n/a) (12:49:24 AM): Mountains would be a good bet.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jodizzle on 04 Nov 2007, 23:20
I was going to mention the prison thing.  it really is a spectacular idea if you can get along with its previous tenants without making them kill you.  Running water!  Foods! Criminals!  it's a one stop zombie apocolypse holiday getaway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patatat on 04 Nov 2007, 23:26
Well being in Michigan where we love guns, and wide open spaces. Zombies don't really stand a chance, everyone owns a gun.

My plan though. Due to the fact that I am up in the middle of the night, which we all know is when the Zombie break out happens, I will be one of the first to hear about the zombie outbreak. I will quickly make it a few blocks to my friends house, of course carrying an ax. He has enough guns, and tactical gear for us to fend off a small army for several days. We load up, and get in a 4x4 truck with all of the gear, and head up North. Where his family owns a cabin. Which in reality is what used to be an old Military base. Its not that big, but good enough for a small community of survivors to live in, and it has a barb-wired fence, and open areas around it. That way zombies can't hide.

Its also in a remote part of Michigan, which is only about 2-3 hours away. No one really lives in the area, so it would take a long time for the outbreak (As small as it would be) to reach that area. By that time we would have so many defenses, counter-measures, and supplies set-up we could last for years.

The only problem would be not the zombies, but the fallout effect after the zombie apocalypse. Having to fend off looters. By this time I will hope to have created a small community, with a big enough militia to fend off anyone who might try to steal our supplies. If our plans fail, and we get over-taken. We will just take a small group, and escape while the rest of everyone else dies. Then we will wander, and become raiders ourselves.

If nothing happens after a while, we will circulate ourselves back to the populated areas to see what has happened.

I have others plans, but most of them involve me getting up-north. I mean the way I figure it. You have a few hours to find out that the zombie apocalypse has happened, and after that your chances of being a survivor are like 10%. Early bird doesn't get its brain eaten I guess.


(Also, Prison is a horrible idea. Unless you can let the Prisoners escape, and then lock up the Prison.)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Liz on 04 Nov 2007, 23:30
I have friends that own many swords and other assorted weaponry. Also one of them lives in a tall apartment building, so we will barricade ourselves on the roof and pick the little buggers off from far away.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patatat on 05 Nov 2007, 01:40
Its funny that your name is Misconception, because its a very common misconception that swords, and Medieval weapons are a good idea for Zombies. In reality, you wanna stay as far away as possible. Also, if you choose a Katana, you should hope that it came with the Waikazashi so you can just kill yourself.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Emaline on 05 Nov 2007, 01:43
Care to inform us on why swords and medieval weaponry is bad for zombie slaying?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spike on 05 Nov 2007, 01:52
Swords generally require you to get very close to a zombie, which opens you up to getting bitten.  Swords may also liberate generous amounts of zombie fluid, which may find it's way into a small cut or a mucus membrane.  You're pretty much fucked then.

Honestly, I can't see too many drawbacks with pole arms, since they allow you to land a hit from a longer distance.   
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 01:53
A sword can hack soft tissue just fine, but if you're up against a zombie horde, removing soft tissue isn't very helpful. You need a good crushing blow into the skull and unless you have a rather hefty(and largely useless) claymore or something, that's not going to cut it(hurr).

A fire axe gives you good lever action, sending a lot more force into one crushing area of the skull. A baseball bat allows you to deliver a massive crushing blow to a skull with little to no threat of injuring yourself in the process. A sword, at best, will end up with someone losing an arm and, either zombie or human, that doesn't help.

Also, anyone who offers up chainsaws gets to be the first thrown over the side of the QC fort's walls to conserve food.

According to a guy I know, the boat plan is not so great

(n/a) (12:41:32 AM): That might be a good idea and it might be a bad idea.
(n/a) (12:42:32 AM): Giant flotillas of the living dead, their bloated bodies thrown together and drifting across the seas in deadly sheets kilometers square...
andlemonade (12:38:18 AM): Well, I doubt most zombies can swim(Hell, if you go by Zombies Ate My Neighbors standards, water will kill the zombies. But if you go by that standard, then drinking mysterious purple liquids will totally turn you into a monter for a short period of time!), and I doubt they'd be smart enough to piece together a zombie body raft
andlemonade (12:38:41 AM): However, if a zombie were to get on the ship, I'd be more than screwed
(n/a) (12:44:57 AM): No, no.  Just think of how debris clumps together in water.
(n/a) (12:45:25 AM): Now think of a million god damned corpses bloated with every imaginable foul glass following suit.
(n/a) (12:49:24 AM): Mountains would be a good bet.

The threat of zombie flotsam is real, but not as big as your friend implies, I'd think. Zombies thrash about too much to get a really big Legion-like mass going. If they got tangled together, they'd rip themselves apart into useless zombie chunks. If they stayed still long enough to make a sufficiently large sheet of the undead, though, then got riled up by the scent of food....that scene of would pretty much be the one of the most horrible/awesome things in the world to watch. A churning, bubbling sea of zombies ripping apart into a gory, bloody mess in the ocean.

You do get ridiculous bonus points for bringing up Zombies Ate My Neighbors, though. In a worst case scenario, we can always open a Pandora's Box.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ampersandwitch on 05 Nov 2007, 01:55
My plan is to stay away from the army-enforced base camp, because they are all crazy and obsessed with procreation.  The insanity and spoilt food is not worth dealing with to get the pretty red dress that comes with the deal.  Also, Cillian Murphy almost dies, which is not something I am willing to deal with at this point in my life.
Really though?
I would probably take a backpack full of the canned goods I bought from Tesco, my comforter, matches, a towel, reading material and my laptop to the top floor of my cafeteria.  I read the zombie handbook, and it said that a staircase you can knock out so the zombies can't reach you would be optimal.  I would probably be stuck up there with a bunch of other kids that I didn't like.  I would probably eat them if we ran out of supplies, though, so it all works out in the end.

ETA
Emaline, it makes no sense to use something that would require you to get close to something that does not feel pain, and in great numbers could easily overpower you.  Having the strength and tools to repeatedly decapitate or somehow otherwise incapacitate possibly hundreds of the undead is a very unlikely possibility, and it is simply impractical to risk it.  Firearms and explosives are far more reasonable means of destroying the zombie hoard.

ETAA
What.  People post so fast.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Emaline on 05 Nov 2007, 02:00


ETA
Emaline, it makes no sense to use something that would require you to get close to something that does not feel pain, and in great numbers could easily overpower you.  Having the strength and tools to repeatedly decapitate or somehow otherwise incapacitate possibly hundreds of the undead is a very unlikely possibility, and it is simply impractical to risk it.  Firearms and explosives are far more reasonable means of destroying the zombie hoard.



I wasn't arguing that swords are good for zombie slaying. I just wanted to know why they were not. Personally, I am more of a gun, baseball bat sort of person, but...


Firearms, and explosives are fun and good and everything, but once your run out of ammo, then what? You are screwed. If a zombie apocalypse did happen, I would choose a gun last.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 02:51
How many people think they're a good enough shot to de-brain a zombie at distance? Because unless you're military or a ridiculously avid hunter, you're not.

A gun is only as effective as its user. That effectiveness increases as distance decreases. By the time your target is close enough for a good deathblow, it's close enough that if you don't make that one shot count, you're as good as dead. There are only two situations where a gun is optimal: if you, for some god forsaken reason, have a fully-loaded assault shotgun and relatively few zombies in your face or you're in a fortification, defending it from a safe position. Otherwise, you're one unlucky shot or empty clip away from being lunch.

Reflexes are your greatest friend when facing an undead adversary. Quick, skull piercing weapons in close range are something anyone can use and should have. Spike is also correct, a solid knowledge of how to use and kill with a polearm-type weapon is even better, but good luck having one and knowing how to use it effectively.

I think I've thought too much about this.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ruyi on 05 Nov 2007, 03:01
the popularity of this fantasy has always struck me as bizarre. for the longest time i simply could not fathom why my friend was obsessed with zombies.

i suppose i can kind of understand now. since the premise is that everyone else has turned into a zombie, this is essentially a fear of being alone, which is what we're all scared of, deep down inside, so thinking about how you'd deal with a zombie apocalypse is a way of working through that fear.

right?

sorry, i know i said it like it was past tense, but what i am saying is basically, i still do not understand you people. or this thread.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 03:16
I'm not so sure of the practicality of polearms myself. Most, if not all polearms are designed to be practically used as a group. Practically, the lack of mobility (I'm not sure quite what you mean by polearm, but I'm assuming a halberd or pike) and the problem of zombies getting inside your guard would probably sink you.

Actually, speaking of weapons training, when in Bournemouth I can of course always hook-up with the rest of my Jomsviking re-enactment group. Fifteen or so hairy nutters and shield maidens, armed with an assortment of swords, axes, spears, hammers, shields, bows and knives, kitted out in leather and mail. Not only that, but all real weapons, designed to deliver and block blows, that we know how to use. Nice. We could get some proper pillaging in for a change.

Also Ozy, I think you're slightly over-estimating somewhat how hard it is to shoot a person in the head, if you have a sensible weapon (rifle, good shotgun). Actually, military training might not even be a good thing. Soldiers are generally trained to instinctively shoot for the centre of mass. What you want is a good target shooter. I can hit a human head-sized target consistently at a hundred yards (admittedly, non-moving target in light conditions). I would personally take a gun, if only for the tactical advantage it offers, except for the tremendous problem in the UK of finding a fire-arm that would be of any use whatsoever against zombies. .22 rounds would only really be effective if you plugged them straight into the right eye socket, and I doubt bird-shot would be any help at all. I wouldn't mind having a brace of black-powder pistols with ball shot, actually, strictly for close combat. Would pair well with an axe.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 05 Nov 2007, 03:22
OK, when you're trying to kill a zombie how much of the brain do you need to destroy? Because this always makes me think. I mean, how many people do you hear of that have their brain totally destroyed by being hit in the head with a baseball bat?
Also, Khar is right about the guns - I am a terrible shot, and I can still consistently put a bullet into a 1" circle at 25 yards with a .22. Anyone who actually owns a gun should be significantly better at shooting than me. Also, .22" is 5.58mm - that's military calibre. The bullets ricochet around internally, tumble, and generally cause a lot more damage inside than a larger bullet, which goes straight through.

EDIT: Just to qualify, this is when you're stationary and in a safe place, like some sort of fortification where there is no immediate zombie-related threat of death.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ampersandwitch on 05 Nov 2007, 03:38
the popularity of this fantasy has always struck me as bizarre.

For me, it's kind of fun because it's re-imagining the world of today with drastically different characteristics AKA zombies running around. It's for people who don't like the mundane, who need to "mix it up" a little.  It's all very survival horror and escapist, plus, how hilarious is the zombie walk? 
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 04:34
Except, supersheep, that we are not necessarily (or at all) talking high velocity .22 LR's. As far as I'm aware, most easy to obtain legal weapons in the UK (I'm using 'easy to obtain' in the loosest sense imaginable) use either the lesser powered .22 long (I'm fairly sure this is the cartridge the rifles I've done all my target shooting on used) or the .22 short. Hell, I'm not entirely certain we didn't use .22 BB's, which can be stopped by a decently starched shirt. I'm also relatively sure that most weapons in the UK are subsonic. (I don't know any of this, and the legislation isn't that detailed, but I'm assuming certain restrictions rule out other things at the same time) Also, I'd like to point out that, even with ideal ammunition, .22 rifles are mainly used for hunting things like rats. There's a biiiiig reason for this. The problem isn't the amount of soft tissue damage a .22 can do, which is appreciable (though inferior to almost every other sort of bullet), but rather its ability to penetrate bone. Put bluntly, beyond about thirty/forty metres, there's a big chance that .22s will just bounce off a zombies fucking skull, especially if it's fresh. From what I can find, .22s in general are useless for hunting anything bigger than a coyote, and even then you need to get a fairly good shot in from no farther than about 50 yards, using the best weapons and ammo. Remember, UK gun law is designed around only allowing very limited access to weapons that have the least possible utility in the killing of human beings. Probably the best thing that you could hope to get hold of (and this would need planning) would be the L98A1 Cadet Rifle, which, whilst not being civilian issue, is I believe probably the only non .22 or smoothbore fire-arm kept in any quantity outside of military bases and specially secured shooting sites like the Bisley range (Game wardens who control deer populations use larger calibre rifles, but that's like looking for a needle in a haystack). The L98A1 is bolt-action, and the action is deliberately very awkward ( you have to reach over the top of the gun with the left hand each shot, normally) but it's NATO 5.56, it takes STANAG magazines, and it has adjustable aperture sights. Raid a cadet unit for some of those suckers (praying they don't just have bolt action .22s like my old unit) and a few boxes of ammo and you're officially one of the best armed men in the UK. The other big option, of course, is criminally obtained fire-arms, but you've got a similiar problem to finding your game wardens rifle, not to mention you'd almnost certainly have to enter a big city to get your hands on one, and as far as I'm concerned 'do your best to get out of fucking cities' is a pretty hard and fast rule in the zombocalypse. The other major problem would be obtaining ammunition. Know how much 9mm ammo there is in the UK? Not very much, and you can bet your ass some Scouser gangsters probably unloaded most of it into a zombie swarm in Toxteth.

Also, I'd like to point out that we're all, maybe even me, though my plans are flexible, making a really crucially erroneous supposition here. Basically, we're all expecting Zombie Survival Guide/Russo zombies. This is a conditioned media response, people! What if 'Kill the Brain, Kill the Ghoul' is as empty as 'Duck and Cover'? What if we get classic Night of the Living Dead zombies, where the bite is not infectious, but generally fatal, and ALL recently dead re-animate within 5-10 minutes. What if we get later Romero zombies, who develop a degree of intelligence, or at the very least a thoughtless acting out of their previous existence (sometimes people forget that there's a REASON the zombies go to the mall). What if the zombie uprising, when it comes, is a purely supernatural horror, rather than a twisted scientific one? Perhaps the only sure ways to kill a zombie will be the same as the only sure ways to kill vampires (decapitation and burning). Speaking of burning, will we have zombies that dislike fire, instinctively moving away from it (a big bonus) or will we have zombies that merely shamble mindlessly through fire, setting themselves ablaze perhaps, but otherwise unharmed, maybe stumbling on for several minutes as flaming, crumbling edifices of mindless hunger, igniting us even as they gnaw on our bones.

Oh, and one more point. Someone earlier, I just remembered, opined that swords would not be effective against zombies.  I think this implies a certain lack of understanding of how you use a sword, and how it works. Whilst some swords would probably be useless against zombies except in the hands of a very skilled wielder (epee's, foils and other stabbing weapons particularly) most western swords in particular would be fairly effective, as they are really mainly hybrid cutting/crushing weapons. Broadswords, as a category especially. They were designed, after all, to be effective against men wearing chain and plate armour, padded out with stiffened leather and sheepskin, and using shields. Zombies are not likely to be so well dressed for a scuffle, although a unit of zombified riot police might give you pause for thought. Other varieties of sword are likely to be pretty effective as well. Properly maintained ones designed for actual combat, that is. That's always a problem nowadays. Katanas, scimitars, cutlasses and other slashing weapons would take more skill to use than a broadsword, but not too much. My basic plan for taking down massed zombies with an axe would probably be a basic figure of eight, keeping the weapon moving all the time, and you'd want a similiar plan for such a sword. Never mind if you waste a few blows hacking off arms or whatnot, sustaining momentum is the most important thing: the one huge disadvantage of broadswords, and axes maybe, is the likelihood you're going to get one stuck in a zombies skull, leaving his mates free to dine on your delicious meats. If you kept it sharp enough, you'd be able to consistently slice clean through a zombies skull if you got it square on the side level with the eye-sockets.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Nov 2007, 04:42
I am telling you as a qualified Awesomologist that the answer to Zombie is always Shotgun. You don't need to be a great shot with a shotgun, just good enough to hit around the jaw/neck area. Some of the shot will mess up their motor functions to the point where they are not a threat. Also, if Dr. McNinja teaches us nothing else, it's that the best armor for Zombies is Space Suit. You all go around hacking with your swords and getting bitten or bled on, I'll be safe trotting around in my space suit blasting heads off with my shotgun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Something Witty on 05 Nov 2007, 05:00
Once you're dug in and everything; Naked bite checks after any contact with a zombie. None of this covering up a bite with your jacket shit. You are getting bare-ass naked and someone is looking you over. If you've got bitemarks anywhere, You're getting shot. If I don't have the heart to do it, I'll make sure someone else does.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 05:06
Is this a real shotgun, or a hollywood shotgun? I feel this is important to ask. I also feel that it's important to ask how you would fire and reload a shotgun whilst wearing a space-suit. The zombie apocalypse is about survival, not cool.

Just now, I was thinking this over deeply whilst smoking on the toilet, and hit upon the perfect combination of hand to hand weapons to deal with zombies. It is tradition and modernity united. In one hand you want a short, stabbing assegai, one of the ones with a small, crushing adze blade on the bottom of the shaft. In the other, a modern see-through riot-shield, one of those ones that bends with blows. Combine this with a good pair of knife-proof gloves, some good industrial safety boots with real steel toe-caps and heel plates, maybe an assortment of knives and a helmet of some sort, and it is basically just clobberin' time for zombies.

Good call on the bite checks. Really, as countless films have taught us, the true key to survivng the zombocalypse is the ability to shoot, hack or bludgeon to death those you know and love. And anyone else.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Nov 2007, 05:08
I think Khar raises an excellent point. What Zombie rules are we going by? The shambling, moaning type? 28 Days Later style Rage infected, all sprinting at you and tearing you apart? Is destroying the brain going to do anything or do you have to get them to eat salt, voodoo magic style? I've never handled a gun before in my life so I'm not sure how great I'd be. I suppose we'll find out one way or another...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pen on 05 Nov 2007, 05:32
I'm not particularly fast or strong, and I'm very sensitive to those I've loved.  I'd probably just end up shooting myself before I could slow people down or become infected.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 05 Nov 2007, 05:40
Equipment:
Machete and Khukris.
Guitar for FLCL style head bashing?
Gas mask to prevent zombie germs entering my lungs/eyes/mouth? (limits eyesight though).
Boots.
Cowhide Zulu shield.
Jeans for durability.
DPM trousers and smock if I still have them.
Camo cream for inspiring war paint.
Whistle for emergency noises.
Penknife for multiple reasons.
Condoms for hot survivors.

Plan:
Gather a few friends who live near me (may turn into a lot of friends, strength in numbers, etc)
Drive to Poole harbour or maybe Mudeford since it would be significantly less populated (may turn into walking/fighting through hoards of zombies due to blocked roads)
Sail out to one of the costal forts and meet Khar.
???
Profit!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 05 Nov 2007, 06:21
Uh, Khar, I think, I think I love you.

I guess the brain-kill is a valid point, we need the ability to lop heads, which is why I'm a fan of the urban dead shotgun/fireaxe combo. Problems with shotguns are that they're messy and brutal and only effective at short range, unless you're packing buckshot.
The burning is also an excellent point, you need to be able to destroy the bodies.

I am seriously worried about floating zombies now. I doubt they could swim, but it'd mean you have to be on the ball and never let your gard down if you're on an island. Regular patrols, something like a lighthouse would be lovely to watch from.

I suppose you'd need a strategy for dealing with floaters you find while out in the boat fishing or something. Maybe some big net or sealing harpoon to grab them. This is an instance where a polearm would be nice so as to be able to remotely decapitate, but you'd want them out of your fishing waters ASAP. Which reminds me that we'll need water filtration, maybe even distill everything for safety.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 05 Nov 2007, 06:43
First I'd grad everything I could that was flammable for a potential flame thrower or home made bombs of some sort. Then I'd raid a grocery store, the gun store down the street from where I live, and then steal someone's truck, because my little car would a)not hold enough and b)is not anywhere near the standards one needs for mowing down zombies. Then I'd probably head over to the Mississippi River and steal a boat and get the hell away from land. Somewhere along the way I'm sure I'd pack up a lot of books and music/instruments, my cat and his kitty things and maybe some other people, considering the end of the world would be an excellent time to become a hermit on a nice tropical island.

And if in the case I can't handle the zombies, I'd blow everything up and take out as many as possible.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 05 Nov 2007, 07:21
An assault shotgun would be a nice weapon, that is true, but not so much on the effective range. Maybe one of them with two guys with rifles? As for .22s, Khar is, of course, totally correct. And on effective range, probably about half of your actual shooting range. I could probably hit a head size target at fifty yards, so 25 is the range I can kill zombies at maybe? With slow zombies, and a semi-auto, I could probably peg two before having to make a tactical retreat, although that might be pushing it.

Of course this is academic because there are not so many guns in Ireland. And I've never even seen a crowbar. I'm a goner.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 07:28
Okay, guys. For those of you with gun fantasies, here's the reality:

Guns are unwieldy and in the hands of anyone but an experienced user are more dangerous than any zombie. I picked up and fired a gun for the first time about a month ago. I was able to cap a seltzer bottle about about thirty to forty feet with a .357 (Not a revolver, the type that loads with a magazine)and am told that that was pretty damn excellent for a first timer (I was, in fact, aiming for said bottle and I managed to cap a few other objects, so it wasn't a lucky shot). That noted, I would be absolutely fucked if I tried to take on a large cluster of zombies as it becomes a lot harder to aim in quick succession and the human head is a small target. I've never tried anything more lightweight, and maybe that'd help (Though the likelihood of a kill shot then decreases), but I can't imagine it'd bring my survival rate up that much.

The real trick is not to be all gung-ho, but to play to your strengths. Zombies are slow, you're about 99% better off running from them than trying to stand your ground. There's very few conceivable instances where standing your ground is the smart thing to do. If you've got more than, say, five zombies, you're unlikely to be able to kill all of them before one of them gets to you unless you're very experienced with a gun. If it's less than five, it's probably going to be easier to just get around them/outwit them than kill them (Especially considering that firing off shots is probably going to attract more of them).

The best piece of advice one can consider is to just get the Hell out of any urban areas and don't stop for anything. You're honestly better off getting out of the city with naught but a claw hammer than taking time to stop and look for anything else useful. In the close quarters of a city, a good arsenal isn't going to do you shit worth of good if you're stuck there past dusk. Think aiming's hard? Try doing it in the dark. Now try doing it in the do or die pressure of having twelve zombies coming at you from different angles in a tight alley.

Once you're out of an urban area and into something more spread out, your survival probability goes up exponentially. Unless you're surrounded by a hundred zombies, an empty field is going to be safe. Find your way to a small town where there aren't many places for a zombie to hide, stock up, and find a place to survive.

Personally, I'd be fucked in the event of a zombie outbreak. I live entirely too far into a highly populated city (15,700 people per square mile over 7 miles of land). I'd have the options of either braving the city for a mile or two until I got to the highway and hope it's not so dense with zombies that I could bike my way out OR I could brave my way through the likely worse off streets of Boston straight across the river and into the harbor to try and comandeer a boat. Either instance has a very low survival probability.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 05 Nov 2007, 07:39
Yeah, forget everything else (other than food and gas), I'm stealing a boat on the Ohio River. If you're on the western half of the Ohio and anywhere along the Mississippi south of Illinois, I'll pick you up. I'd have to go near the city to get to the river, but I live in a smaller suburb, so I can get food easily enough.

Though I'd still feel safer if I had explosive like things in the case of the zombie apocalypse.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 07:49
Fuck logic, I want an M-1 Garand and a FUCKTON of incendiary ammunition, if such a thing is available for that weapon.

If no incendiary ammo is available, I will get a goddamn Browning .50 cal and make like the Killdozer guy while I provide severe assfucking for any zombies who want to come and get some.

This is also why I'm going to convince my cop friend to take me to the shooting range with him so I can effectively blow the fucking brains out of any zombie bitches who want some 12-gauge. 'Cause I do love me some 12-gauge.

(Also Linds please get to a port city and find a larger boat and FUCKTONS of fuel [preferably a nuclear-powered submarine] so you can come get me. I'll be in the port city of Durrës, Albania. Our code word is "Let's kill some goddamn zombies". I've got friends with lots of guns and ammunition. Hell yes.)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 05 Nov 2007, 08:01
(Also Linds please get to a port city and find a larger boat and FUCKTONS of fuel [preferably a nuclear-powered submarine] so you can come get me. I'll be in the port city of Durrës, Albania. Our code word is "Let's kill some goddamn zombies". I've got friends with lots of guns and ammunition. Hell yes.)

Uh... If you know anyone in the navy that will meet me down south, then sure. I don't think I could go across seas without killing the boat, let alone everyone on board. Maybe we can pick up the people coming from up north, too. And along the east coast, I guess, too.

Man, you're ruining my plans of being a hermit! But I'd feel bad if I didn't save you guys. Guh.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 08:35
Oh, no problem. I know a guy. As for steering and shit, how hard could it possibly be to steer a nuclear submarine? I mean it's not exactly like we'd be going deep-sea, just 50 meters or so (I think they have computer overrides that prevent the ship from going to crush depth anyway). And we don't need to worry about stealth.

Seriously, a nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed submarine is your best bet in case of a zombie apocalypse, assuming you can work past the fail-safe devices on each of the nuclear warheads. Stealth isn't necessary, just complete submersion. Make sure you've got enough food and ammunition stockpiled in there for a good long while.

Strategy: If you've found all the people worth finding in the world (read: people with guns with sympathies like Tania expressed earlier in the thread), it's safe to launch your n00kz from underwater. Take out major population centers only, launching as few weapons as possible (it's not like we'd have an endless supply, yo). Then proceed on to Cuba, where we'd only have an island's worth of zombies to deal with for the time being, and still have an inhabitable area with decently arable land with infrastructure already in place.

It's foolproof.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 05 Nov 2007, 08:48
Oh. Yeah, no, I'm not getting a sub to pick you up. You can meet us down in the Caribbean. I will save you some fruit.

I don't do cramped spaces with no windows.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 05 Nov 2007, 08:52
Being as I'm overweight I have an exponentially smaller chance of surviving zombie apocalypse, however, due to that fact I can go longer without food, meaning I'd go straight for weapons and escaping rather than stocking up. (the longer you stay in one place the more likely you're just dead, bub.) Also, I think in general the idea of holing up anywhere is horrible. Once the zombies get your scent the rest will come running, until the sheer mass of them will be able to overwhelm any obstacle or defense, roaming nomads are best, though that leaves you with a dependance on fuel. After you get out of major population areas switch to on foot or by pack animals, the vehicles will just slow you down. Never stay in one place for too long and never enter an area that once held human population without scouting it for days, and then don't go anywhere where you can get trapped, and don't split up upon entering buildings. strength in either numbers or absolutely alone. Weapons I'd go for:

Machete: Easy to wield, Chopping power that can cleanly remove head and limbs with minimal fuss

Aluminum Baseball bat: Extremely light, with excellent crushing power and no chance of breaking or splintering like its wood cousin.

Police Riot shield: Do just like they do, form up in a line and push, also useful in tight corridors and with a combo of stabbing weapons, its how the romans conquered, their short swords and tower shields did the damage that hordes of barbarians couldn't handle.

Grenades(either home made or military grade): These go boom, zombies in groups become a group of dismembered body parts.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 05 Nov 2007, 08:54
Seriously, a nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed submarine is your best bet in case of a zombie apocalypse

Once again: What if there are zombies you missed on the sub? Then you're trapped in a tin can with zombies, and this time you're underwater to boot. Awesome plan, dude.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 05 Nov 2007, 08:57
an island's worth of zombies to deal with for the time being

The population of Cuba is 11 million.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 05 Nov 2007, 09:04
that is a lot of zombies
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 09:07
See, this is why you STILL HAVE GUNS on the sub with you.

I still want my M1 Garand and a metric asston of .30-06 rounds when we get there though. And I'll be damned if I ain't coming in through the Bay of Pigs just for the lulz.

See, zombie apocalypses aren't about being smart about things. They're for being BADASS and making bold nationalist statements. Duhhhh.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 05 Nov 2007, 09:18
Yeah. And you don't want to go further into the Caribbean in case it's an instance of multiple zombie varieties. Haitian zombies are even tougher.

Ruyi, I think you over-analyzed what's scary about zombie attacks. Personally I'm just afraid of a horrible death where monstrous versions of humans eat my brain.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 10:07
If the zombies do turn out to be supernatural, then another possible plan presents itself:

Step 1: Find a vampire.
Step 2: Induve vampire to turn you into a vampire.
Step 3: Find a trenchcoat, a badass sword and some significant firepower.
Step 4: Kill everything.

I may have been watching too much Hellsing recently. And by recently I mean over the last five years. But seriously, just get vampirised then flip the fuck out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ncgEnAEuto).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ruyi on 05 Nov 2007, 10:23
Ruyi, I think you over-analyzed what's scary about zombie attacks. Personally I'm just afraid of a horrible death where monstrous versions of humans eat my brain.

see, but then why don't you obsess over that specific instance of dying, instead of surviving in a world where anyone might be a zombie?

or why not have a fear of apes killing you and eating your brains? there's a higher chance of that happening (however infinitesimal it may be) than a zombie apocalypse (ie, 0.)

I may have been watching too much Hellsing recently. And by recently I mean over the last five years. But seriously, just get vampirised then flip the fuck out.

and that's another thing, why not just become a zombie, since everyone else is?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 05 Nov 2007, 10:27
Along those lines: http://www.lastblood.net/
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 10:33
I may have been watching too much Hellsing recently

I saw this 45-minute Hellsing movie. There was that bit where what's-his-face seriously just went apeshit on a bunch of people. After his opponents are all dead, he just says "...I am soooooooo fuckin' hard right now!"

From now on I will think of this quote every time I see you've posted something.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 10:53
I think the people who are promoting guns as a valid option are being very internet badass about the whole thing. Yes, anyone can consistently hit a single, unmoving target at distance if allowed to concentrate.

A horde of zombies does not allow you to concentrate. There are many of them. They are about to FUCKING EAT YOU. The necessity of military training is more about the ability to calm down and aim quickly.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: valley_parade on 05 Nov 2007, 11:03
Yes, anyone can consistently hit a single

5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for pussies
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mnementh on 05 Nov 2007, 11:07
The necessity of military training is more about the ability to calm down and aim quickly.

I believe you're unfamiliar with the concept of "spray and pray."

I'm just saying, the standard issue M-16 can't hit the side of a barn without God or luck on its side.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 11:14
internet badass

As opposed to those who wants to close distance and fucking brain them with baseball bats?

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/0bsessions/My%20Pictures/Me/P9220003.jpg)

You rang?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 11:25
Cancer ain't shit in the midst of braining zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 05 Nov 2007, 11:54
\
or why not have a fear of apes killing you and eating your brains? there's a higher chance of that happening (however infinitesimal it may be) than a zombie apocalypse (ie, 0.)

Now I'm scared of that too.

My next trip to the zoo will be hell.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 12:05
And people say I'm insensitive.

I will laugh myself to death when you die of cancer
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: mberan42 on 05 Nov 2007, 12:17
0bsessions, Ozy and Tania are welcome to join my team.

(Provided, of course, I can get the hell out of Chicago alive. Dude, why'd I choose the 3rd largest city in the Nation to live in?)

(Granted, my condo building is nigh-impenetrable once the staircase is removed, but once the electricity and running water go, I've gotta make alternate plans. Anyone up for breaking into the Joliet Prison? (See: Blues Brothers (movie) or Prison Break (FOX TV show) for pictures) It's not a functioning prison (read: no prisoners) but it was built in the era before high-tech electronic locks, so it has giant two-odd-feet thick walls that are at prison height. It should be fairly defensible for a little while.)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Nov 2007, 12:19
I'm imagining him lauging himself to death. I've never actually seen that. In the middle of a zombie apocalypse it would be easy, though. You just start lauging at something and stop paying attention. Your last words will be "Cancer. Dude seriously died of cancer here. Ha ha ha hAAAUGH! OH GOD! NOT THE THROAT! GLARG! blurble..."
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 12:27
I want someone to make a zombie movie that actually features characters like us who were preparing for this eventuality the whole time. It would be awesome. Most zombie movies rely on the premise that the characters have never seen a zombie movie and don't know shit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 12:29
Yes, anyone can consistently hit a single, unmoving target at distance if allowed to concentrate.

Dude, zombies move slow. It's like that really terrible joke about "How can you shoot women and children?!" to which one responds, "Just lead them a bit less."

Seriously, the only advantage zombies have are an infectious bite and sheer numbers. Just get a lot of people with a bunch of rapid-fire firearms, and you'll be fine.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: celticgeek on 05 Nov 2007, 12:31
Another textbook:

http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20071104 (http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20071104)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 12:34
Yes, anyone can consistently hit a single, unmoving target at distance if allowed to concentrate.

Dude, zombies move slow. It's like that really terrible joke about "How can you shoot women and children?!" to which one responds, "Just lead them a bit less."

Seriously, the only advantage zombies have are an infectious bite and sheer numbers. Just get a lot of people with a bunch of rapid-fire firearms, and you'll be fine.

They move slow, but they're hard to kill. If you're in the middle of a city and you're being onset by about fifty zombies, you're pretty much fucked unless you're an absolute prodigy with a firearm.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Nov 2007, 12:36
the only advantage zombies have are an infectious bite and sheer numbers.
Well those, plus nigh invulnerability, plus a total lack of emotion. As has been pointed out repeatedly in this thread, emotions like fear and compassion, as helpful as they are in most contexts, can really hinder survival in a zombie apocalypse.

I must say though, overall I agree with ruyi. I am much less concerned about zombies than I am about other things. Now a robot apocalypse, the thought of that gives me chills.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 05 Nov 2007, 12:38
Oh, if you're being attacked by more than a couple of zombies, you're fucked anyways. Also, after the first few times you'll probably be slightly less freaked out by the zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 12:39
Dude, Joe, no undead can deal with fire. That's why I want incendiary bullets: to light the zombies on fire. Bonus points if you pull a General LeMay and firebomb FUCKING EVERYTHING.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 12:43
And, again, they only move slow depending on the type of zombie. An old-school supernatural zombie is slow, yes, but a freshly dead biological/chemical zombie is just as fast as a human who feels no pain and never gets fatigued. You have to be prepared for that.

Also, rapid-fire firearms? You have to remember: guns are meant for killing humans. They're meant for damaging any number of vital areas or just causing enough damage for them to bleed to death. Zombies have one vital area and feel no pain and do not bleed to death. The only way a gun is effective is if you nail the brain. The odds of a headshot via spray and pray are not that great. Even 1 out of 10 odds gives you a maximum of 7 kills before you have to reload on an AK47 with a drum magazine. 3 or 4 on your standard box magazine.

You'll be out of ammo and dead within minutes if you're facing any sort of sizable horde.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 12:54
You'll be out of ammo and dead within minutes if you're facing any sort of sizable horde.

See this is why I think we should plan on banding together.

Also, flamethrowers.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 12:58
1) There is no such thing as a reliable flamethrower. That's just James Bond nonsense. To speak of flamethrowers in relation to the zombie threat is just silly.

2) Fire is not your friend. Yes, a zombie will burn to death. Eventually. In the meanwhile, you have to deal with a FUCKING FLAMING ZOMBIE. It's not going to scream in pain and run away. It's going to keep trying to grab you while its flesh chars. This is only acceptable if, again, you have a method of maintaining distance (a barricade, etc.) and that method isn't flammable.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Something Witty on 05 Nov 2007, 13:00
None of you know shit about dicks about guns. Stop talking like you do.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 13:01
Yeah, because just what I need when trying to get away from a shuffling zombie horde is to instead be trying to get away from a flaming zombie horde. Incendiary weapons are about the worst possible weaponry that can be employed in a zombie outbreak. The only use of fire against zombies is when doing mop up where collateral damage is irrelevant. In the event of escape, fire is your enemy. A zombie isn't going to burn to death right away. If you enflame it, odds are, it's just going to catch fire to something else and further obstruct your escape route.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hunter on 05 Nov 2007, 13:27
Hit B and down to see if any are behind you.  Always buy the stock for your Red9.  Mix green and red herbs for yourself, don't wait for a yellow.  The RPG is only good for one shot; make it count.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 13:29
Really, if there's enough room to run at all, you're better off not wasting the ammo and just running all out.

Also, are we talking the movie or the video game? The odds in the game are honestly favorable as you're never onset by more than three or so of the fuckers and it's tight enough that you can't really get surrounded. Not to mention that a few body-shots will put them down. The original scenario would be so much easier if you could have a long enough melee weapon. Knock 'em down and run past.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 13:37
This is only acceptable if, again, you have a method of maintaining distance (a barricade, etc.) and that method isn't flammable.

Method of maintaining distance? Well, first off, you can't trap yourself in a building, that's just dumb. Second off, I am SO still in favour of my Cuba idea. Third, I have feet, several pairs of Converse hi-tops, and the ability to run 2 miles without stopping (and still be able to keep up a brisk walk or jog for several more miles).

Fourth, build a damn iron bar fence. Not easily burned and you can still keep distance from those zombie bitches while you burn them to their second death.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 13:41
Aluminum Baseball bat: Extremely light, with excellent crushing power and no chance of breaking or splintering like its wood cousin.

NOT true. I split a 34oz aluminum bat in half over a kid's back in high school. They're certainly less likely to break than a wooden bat, I'm just saying that it CAN happen.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 13:43
Dude, just use the kid's back.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 14:50
My plan, if I can make it out of Atlanta, is to hole up on Amelia island in Florida. It's surrounded by a river and the ocean,so hopefully the zombies cant make it there once I blow the bridge. Since its in florida, I shouldbe able to get at least two growing seasons, so I wont starve. Also, its fucking nice down there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Something Witty on 05 Nov 2007, 14:53
Actually, most machine guns are very accurate when not fired on full auto. You're not going to hit things with an M4 that you will with a PSG1 or Barret, but a trained marksman can hit a head-sized target with semi-auto fire from 1-200 yards standing without a scope. In WW2 there are confirmed 800+meter kills with bipod(The really big ones, ones that nobody is going to carry) machine guns fired with one round in the chamber as opposed to the ammo belt, and a scope mounted.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Cartilage Head on 05 Nov 2007, 14:57
 Explosives and a suited-up motherfucker of a truck.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 15:05
Addendum to my plan: If I do have to shoot any humans. They probably subscribe to burgoisie values, so I don't have to feel too bad about it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 05 Nov 2007, 15:06
i just plan on doing this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jquXcwooV6A) for as long as possible until i find somewhere to hide out for a bit. rinse, repeat.
no heavy weapons, nobody to slow me down.


edit: please excuse the lame music in that video.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 15:11
My plan, if I can make it out of Atlanta, is to hole up on Amelia island in Florida. It's surrounded by a river and the ocean,so hopefully the zombies cant make it there once I blow the bridge. Since its in florida, I shouldbe able to get at least two growing seasons, so I wont starve. Also, its fucking nice down there.

Absolute shit idea. Judging by maps, that island is close enough to the mainland that zombies could easily just cross beneath the surface of the water and make it there in a matter of days. Once they're ON the island, you've already destroyed your only means of escape, so you might as well just set yourself on fire so the zombies at least have a warm meal.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 15:15
1. There's a marina

2. Having tried to wade on theriver bank, I can safely say the current is fast. Probably fast enough to knock a zombie off course and deposit it in the Atlantic.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 05 Nov 2007, 15:19
@Anyways

yeah, Banlieu 13 is a really sick movie. But it's only as sick as a movie can be without zombies. David Belle is the man.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 15:24
Actually, most machine guns are very accurate when not fired on full auto. You're not going to hit things with an M4 that you will with a PSG1 or Barret, but a trained marksman can hit a head-sized target with semi-auto fire from 1-200 yards standing without a scope. In WW2 there are confirmed 800+meter kills with bipod(The really big ones, ones that nobody is going to carry) machine guns fired with one round in the chamber as opposed to the ammo belt, and a scope mounted.

Which, again, comes back to two things: training and not using fully-auto fire. An accurate, semi-automatic rifle with a large clip is going to be your best bet in the short-to-mid range, but only if you've got the training to make sure you're using it well and aren't about to get ate.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 16:03
I say it's better to have a gun than not, but not to rely on a gun. Also you want a sensible gun. As I've said earlier, for UK residents your best bet going is going to be any L98A1's you can get hold of. Americans can get much more suitable things. Are AK-47's legal over there? Keep it on semi and that's probably the most utilitarian weapon for the zombocalypse. Also, remember, you might not just be dealing with zombies. You may need to hunt for food, there may be feral kids or just regular folk who are driven mad by the arrival of the undead and turn into skulking cannibal things that kill others on sight. There will certainly be packs of feral dogs. In the US you might have to worry about all sorts of additional shit. Bears for example. Goodness knows how a zombie uprising will effect wildlife. Then, there's absolutely no guarantee other survivors are going to want to co-operate with you. After all, in a way, you're competition.

This US/UK dichotomy really is pretty crucial. In the UK, you're really going to have to hole up somewhere with supplies and sweat this shit out. You're going to need a list of places in mind where you can get military rations, camping rations and lots of canned food. I personally recommend coastal forts* with some sort of facility to launch boats that is relatively innaccessible to zombies, or at least can be cleared quite easily. Otherwise, castles in general are quite a good idea. Castles in the middle ages held out for months or years against intelligent enemies with siege weapons. Remember, given a bit of time the zombies will hopefully rot and disintegrate. They might also freeze in the winter if you're at the right latitude (and World War Z makes a good case for how a full-scale zombocalypse could induce an effect not unlike a mini nuclear winter, as fires rage unchecked). Also, as said before, no reason to suppose anything about these zombies. Slow freezing might well do enough tissue damage to kill them. In the US, on the other hand, mobility is good. There's space to move around, especially in the midwest. Get some horses and enough people together to handle effective 24 hour watches. Flit from place to place, only go near towns if you really need food.

*The two others apart from the Solent Forts that immediately sprung to my mind are Tintagel Castle and the Needles Old Battery. There's some good ones in Wales and Scotland. If you had a lot of survivors and superhuman organisational skills, you could try clearing off Guernsey and getting the old nazi sea-defences system into working order. The tides around there are nuts as well, which might deter, or at least deflect, possible sea-floor zombies. That's more the kind of place where you begin establishing your new world order after the zombies rot though.

EDIT: also, in Gabbly, I thought up a perfect tool which everyone in an urban setting WILL require to survive the zombocalypse.

A KILLDOZER.

(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1/xtopher42/Blogging/killdozer8vh.jpg)

Start work immediately.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 16:13
In the US, civilian models of assault rifles are generally legal to own.Civilian models have two methods of fire. Single shot and semi-automatic. To own a fully automatic weapon, you need a class 3 weapons permit, which is, to my knowledge, only available to ex-military and liscenced gun retailers.

If you are in the US,I would recommend the guide gun (http://www.gunshopfinder.com/marlin/marlin1895G.asp). There's a guy in Coloradowho will customize it for a grand total of $1600 or so (costofweapon +customization), replacing the sights, stock, firing pin, barrel, et al, and turn it into a badassitude weapon of zombie destruction.

Also, has anyone mentioned bows yet? A good compound bow with broadhead shafts should stopa zombie no problems, and the ammo is reusable/easy to make, lending itself to longevity in the post-apocalyptic world.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 16:18
broadhead shafts

Hehehehehe...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hunter on 05 Nov 2007, 16:24
KILLDOZER


Wasn't that built by some insane guy who wrecked his home town?


Any who, there are a lot of variables to the coming Zombie overtaking.  What kind are they? What kills them? Can they last without food and water? If so, how long?

But here is what I would do:

Since I am not in a major city, I think that i would have at least 2 days before a sick trucker comes to town and eats the hospital staff.  This will give me time to grab whatever weapons I can scrounge. (I have a friend with two pistols who might "lend" them to me)Grab a hiking pack and stuff it with supplies and I'm off to the Appalachian Trail, heading North into rural Maine.  Being 14, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be zombie food, so maybe some survivors will take me in.  That said, I will head to the Canadian coast, and try to gather supplies to get through life. 


And everyone of you guys with these elaborate plans should get one of these shirts:
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/5127/zombieshirtaswuk2.jpg)
   
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Nov 2007, 16:28
Dude, do not go North. You do not want to have to survive the winters up hereabouts without electricity.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 05 Nov 2007, 16:32
Man. That is not a good shirt.

In the event of a zombie attack, I want as tight group of as few potential zombies as possible. Not a panicky legion of death.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 05 Nov 2007, 16:36
broadhead shafts

Hehehehehe...

(http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/6932/bwtrophy042407aas4.jpg)

Zombies are no laughing matter.







Unless they're zombie clowns
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thepugs on 05 Nov 2007, 16:38
I'd say the ideal place to eventually hole up (if an island isn't an option) might be mountains.  Lots of sun for farming, enough rain, and if you clear all the trees in the nearby area to build a kickass fort, you'll be able to see approaching zombies a little better.

Bows and crossbows, along with any semi-homemade weaponry, become a much more viable option given the infrequency of ammunition over time.  Crowbars and axes seem to be the melee weapons of choice, but the axes may be a little dangerous.  I would probably go with a shovel initially.

One moderately ridiculous but possible very effective option would be the Meteor Hammer, a traditional Chinese weapon.  If you manage to run into somebody who knows how to use it, he is probably not going to die from a zombie EVER.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 17:25
The problem with bows is they really are very hard to use well against moving targets. Even flashy compound bows with sights and pulleys and fuck knows what. They also have a pretty limited effective range. Only take if you're seriously going to train up with it. Also, almost every single trick shot in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is impossible. Just a heads up. Remember, bows were used en masse in war, with hundreds or maybe even thousands of archers unleashing simultaneously, raining indirect death from above down on the foe. Furthermore, even more than bullets arrows are designed mainly to wound the torso. The real nasty motherfucker with arrows is when you get one stuck in your guts or lung, and you either leave it in and bleed to death slowly and internally, or pull it out and bleed to death quickly and externally. Zombies quite obviously are not going to give two shits about this. Bows are also impractical for a number of other reasons. To work well, they must be well maintained and dry. This was one of my main reasons for suggesting a semi-auto AK. You're on the run from millions of shambling undead horrors. You do NOT want to have to stop to strip down your gun.

There are several martial arts weapons that would be pretty damn good against zombies. Shaolin spades and glaives come to mind. However, this is only if you're trained in the use. Martial arts weapons tend to be tricky and showy, because that is the whole point of having to master them. It's fine if you happen to know kung-fu, but you can teach anyone enough basics with an axe or broadsword to fight zombies in an afternoon.


Now, talking of fighting en masse, and going back to what I said about my viking re-enactment group earlier, archaic weapons really come into their own if you have a unit of people who can wield them effectively. Fifteen guys trained in dark ages fighting techniques, ten in a shield wall with swords and axes, five with long handled spears, would basically be like a lawnmower that cuts zombies instead of grass. Three men, two with axes and shields and one with a long spear, are the mini version. I've seen such a group fend off eight fully armed, intelligent human opponents in dense terrain (woodland). and zombies ain't gonna be smart enough to dodge. As long as you keep hacking and stabbing, they'll keep climbing over the dead.

For all those suggesting baseball bats, I can't help but think you've hit on another, quite different falsity of media representation. This is the thing in horror films and police procedurals where the human skull is easier to crack than a soft-boiled egg. This just ain't true. A baseball bat will kill zombies, but it is simply not going to guarantee a first hit kill, which is vital. You need a much more concentrated force. Ironically, a cricket bat, a la shawn of the dead, would probably be more effective, but you really want something bladed. Machetes, axes, western swords, maybe a proper mace. In a pinch, a hammer will be far more useful than a baseball bat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ViolentDove on 05 Nov 2007, 17:42
I swear every medieval re-enactment society that trains with weapons secretly wishes for a zombocalypse so they can all flip out and kill moving things, instead of hitting each other with sticks.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Nov 2007, 17:48
Hold the phone!  While looking up "meteor hammer" I found my way to this article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monk%27s_Spade

Note the last paragraph.

ADDITION: I started looking after thepugs' post and didn't see khar's.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 17:50
ViolentDove: That's why I bought my stainless steel replica straight-bladed feudal Japanese sword. Roughly 2.5ft long, pretty light, and pointy enough for chopping the evershitting love out of zombie necks.

...DON'T JUDGE ME, OKAY

EDIT: In case of a zombie apocalypse actually happening, my friend and I are fighing our way to a gun shop to get one of these:
http://www.ableammo.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=9935_13987_37_39&products_id=95578

...and a few thousand of these:

http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/product/standard-item.jsp?id=0024236215344a&navCount=2&podId=0024236&parentId=cat20839&masterpathid=&navAction=jump&cmCat=MainCatcat602007-cat20839&catalogCode=IH&rid=&parentType=index&indexId=cat20839&hasJS=true

...and then we are going to start blasting the EVERLIVING FUCK out of zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ViolentDove on 05 Nov 2007, 18:37
I judge not, lest myself with a small collection of sharp, pointy implements be judged myself.

With regards to Zombie uprisings-

Unfortunately, I am a scientist. This means that either: a) I started the zombie outbreak in the first place by Playing God and/or Meddling With Nature, or b) I would die in some kind of humorous and/or ironic fashion early on in the outbreak.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 18:46
We don't train with sticks! What do you think we are, LARP?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patatat on 05 Nov 2007, 19:09
To the person who said winters are cold up north...Well duh, which means the zombies would have a hard time making it up there. Besides you'd only have to live there for a few years. I am sure you could find an abandoned cabin. I mean people have been surviving those winters for years. The way I look at it. Its very unlikely that the zombie apocalypse will effect the barren part of the world.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 19:21
See, I subscribe to the line of thought that says zombies are slow-moving. Why? I'll tell you why.

1: They're fucking dead
2: Rigor mortis
5: Depending how long they were left to decompose before reanimating, there'd be muscle-rot
3, sir, 3: If you shoot the head off (just fire at the center if you're looking at the bastard straight-on, the force of the bullet will destroy any bone-connecting tissue and the skin's weak from rotting anyway) then there won't be any of the senses for it to find you with
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ZJGent on 05 Nov 2007, 19:47
unless you're working with Canderian demon yada yada, in which case there's more than just biology wanting to eat your bunce, bub.

The only thing to do in this circumstance is come out with as many one-liners as possible after strapping a chainsaw to your recently-cleft hand, then whip out your boomstick and blast some demon backside.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 05 Nov 2007, 19:49
I would just allow myself to get eaten.

Why be the only human?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Nov 2007, 19:55
blah friggin' blah

The title of this thread is "plans for the inevitable undead uprising," not "plans for getting completely and totally assfucked by a pandemic demon infestation."

My submarine still applies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 05 Nov 2007, 20:06
For one, Mr. Witty Geek, apparently there are going to be a couple of us left, and two, I refuse to die a virgin, God Damnit!

You have your submarine, Midwest and horses like I already stated and Khar reiterated is my way to go. I was born in a desert, and I know how to survive those conditions, I head southwest, to Arizona, Nevada, California, and in general most of the Great Plains. That area can't naturally support a lot of human life, and I don't think it would help much with the zombies either. Open plains to see for miles in any direction, open sky, good hunting and possibly farming if I really just want to settle down

There are a couple mehtods of zombie taking down that we haven't discussed. Acid, and taking out the zombies legs using a scythelike weapon or some other way of making it to where they have to crawl rather than shamble. They can't kill you if they're a steaming pile of goo, and its way easier to smash heads when they're within reach of your boot.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: BobJoeJim on 05 Nov 2007, 20:10
Yeah, I think being an isolated survior would pretty much suck.  I don't like isolation.  Getting eaten in the end is the way to go.  As for everyone suggesting the baseball bat technique, I think that would be a pretty highly suicidal option, you don't want to be in melee with a horde of undead if survival is your goal, just run away.  On the other hand, beating the shit out of some zombies with a baseball bat would be too much fun for words.  Combine these three sentences and it becomes obvious that when the zombie apocalypse comes I'll be wading in headfirst with my bat.  I'll do everything I can to hold them off as long as I can for those of you who actually care about making it through alive, and I won't hold it against you when you shoot me in the head after I do get bitten.  Enjoy your crappy lives in the frozen wastes, I'm going to die happy.

What can you do?  With a zombie like that, always on your back, what can you lose?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ViolentDove on 05 Nov 2007, 20:17
I'd go for an armoured war elephant.

Not sure where to get one, though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Bearer on 05 Nov 2007, 21:07
My Auto CADD teacher is something of a Zombie expert.  He designed a "tower" that one day he wishes to build and survive the apocalypse in.  it's a triangular structure supported on three large pillars.  The only way up is a ladder that can be raised or lowered.  The roof would be usable as a garden, as well as be a distress beacon in case of help coming, and a rain-watter collection basin.  There would be stocks of survival gear built up, as well as ammunition for rifles, even though it would eventually get used up
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Nov 2007, 21:49
Quote from: thatwittygeek
Why be the only human?

So you can record Vincent Price style monologues for the aliens to find.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mnementh on 05 Nov 2007, 22:27
I must say though, overall I agree with ruyi. I am much less concerned about zombies than I am about other things. Now a robot apocalypse, the thought of that gives me chills.

Oh god, they've found the raptors
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Narr on 05 Nov 2007, 22:37

(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/5127/zombieshirtaswuk2.jpg)
   
Where do I buy this shirt?

Tell me now.  I must own one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ruyi on 06 Nov 2007, 00:39
2: Rigor mortis

yes, when you die, your muscles become rigid, but after a time, they become soft again. the phenomenon of rigor mortis is not a permanent one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Nov 2007, 02:11
Yeah but by that point the muscle-rot has already set in. And when you're dead, you don't do much of that 'cell rebuilding' stuff anymore. tl;dr the undead move slow no matter what.

Call me a killjoy but I really think a zombie apocalypse might actually be kindof cool. I mean people would get to talk to their deceased loved ones (although being zombies would render them unable to really carry on much of a conversation that didn't have something to do with the central nervous system).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 06 Nov 2007, 02:31
In a zombie apocalypse I will use patrick as chum to distract the zombies while I run away.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Nov 2007, 02:46
Dude, you remember that bit where I said I'd be stockpiling guns and ammunition? Yeah, I sortof want to be able to defend myself at ALL times. Which is also why my fortifications include a reinforced concrete bunker with a door that can only be locked from the inside.

I gain a lot of my influence from communist dictators, what can I say.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ImRonBurgundy? on 06 Nov 2007, 04:18
I will build a Mad Max-style vehicle out of a garbage truck and an industrial wood chipper.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Nov 2007, 05:05
Here's a nice 'what if' for you: what if the zombie plague is airborne? You'd either need air tanks (ideal, yet too short term), or some form of antimicrobial air filtration system (less trustworthy, but effectively unlimited).

More specification: once all the soft tissue on a zombie rots (muscles, etc) would it die? If that's the case, you just need to find a way to cause the flesh to dissolve faster. Maybe surround your bunker complex with a moat filled with a lye solution or something. Zombies stumble in trying to get at you, their bodies get all ate up, you're fine and dandy. No need to aim.

While we're speculating, how about you take the whole 'aiming' issue out of hand entirely: automated sentries. Of course, that may start a horrifying combination of Zombie Apocalypse + Robot Apocalypse...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 06 Nov 2007, 05:12
Oh come now, automated sentries? Let's restrict our speculations to defenses which are immediately feasible for us to muster, otherwise we might as well all start shouting out superpowers that we want.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Iron_Fist on 06 Nov 2007, 06:23
Well my old plan has been royally fucked, so my new one is head to Siberia, large open flat country, cold too, so zombies will be sluggish there, firearms are readily available, and you could start your own country their and no one would notice for years. Get an AK and you're set. Sparse population that far east makes for a low density zombie infestation.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Nov 2007, 06:36
I guess you're right about the sentry guns, because nobody has made one in their own home (http://www.engadget.com/2005/09/23/homemade-automated-sentry-gun-turret/). :x
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Nov 2007, 06:53
We're just saying that since you can never actually know when the uprising is going to occur that you'll be caught off guard enough so that it would take quite a while to get a working system of fully automated sentry guns installed and up and running, never mind having to create software that recognizes and shoots undead targets (assuming you don't want to kill survivors too) and the lack of readily available ammunition to keep it up long enough to do any good.

Also, I'm betting a sentry gun capable of hitting a moving target would make mostly body shots, which by group consensus are worth jack shit. And really, sentry guns against the thousands upon thousands that make up the zombie horde? Its a waste of time and effort better spent towards creating other traps of zombie death, like the lye or acid moat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Nov 2007, 07:10
I'd think it would take less time for the sentry guns to be set up (especially if they're pre-prepared and just need to be stood up and turned on) than it would to dig a moat, but that's just me. Also, I'd imagine you could program it to shoot for the throat or head of a man-sized target and program it to cycle [acquire]- [IFF]-[shoot 1 round]-[repeat]. Maybe have an audio register where if anyone comes running up screaming "help me!" or something, it doesn't shoot the screaming idiot, or it only targets things moving slowly, etc...

As far as if I'm surprised and attacked by zombies sitting here at work, I've got a passable hand weapon in the blade on a paper cutter, but no shotguns or anything.

I guess that's the main thing, are we talking "sudden surprise" or "3 weeks into infestation and fully planned out"?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: McTaggart on 06 Nov 2007, 07:17
OCR is just not hot enough right now to home roll your own neck targetting sentries. Unless you get them launching fire or something. Also, powering your sentries.

And all you fire-haters have got it wrong. If you're on the ground with a ton of zombies surrounding you you're dead. Simple as that. You can't kill 'em all and they won't stop trying to kill you. So it comes down to which is more badass: Getting slaughtered by zombies or getting slaughtered by zombies that are ON FIRE.

Basically when the zombie apocalypse comes I'm going to put a hessian bag over my head and grab the chainsaw out of the shed. Then I will walk real slow and try to blend in.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Nov 2007, 07:28
Chainsaws are horrible weapons. Loud, heavy, unwieldy, and while they can cut through pretty much anything it takes some time to do it. Not to mention it'll probably get clogged on all the gooey stuff that gets caught in the chain.

And Zombies always know if you're alive, that's no defense. I have a feeling they can detect heat. You might be able to move through unnoticed if you can find a way to make yourself "cold", like wearing a thick suit of something that keeps heat from escaping, or wrapping yourself up in old cloth and spraying you down with a canister of the fire extinguisher stuff. Not the foam mind but the cold whatever it is, it worked in Tremors II. That's short term though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Liz on 06 Nov 2007, 07:39
Where do I buy this shirt?

Tell me now.  I must own one.
http://www.asofterworld.com/shirts_asw.htm
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 06 Nov 2007, 07:40
Acid = Useless. Do you realize the amount of time it would take acid to eat through a zombie enough to immobilize it? Here's a hint: Less time that it would take for said zombie to eat your fucking leg. Phil, you're gonna die.

In terms of them "knowing you're alive," there is no conclusive evidence of this. It is presumed that they may, in fact, track by smell or hearing rather than some goofy ESP shit. In Walking Dead, for example, a pair of survivors covered themselves in rotting gore and were able to sneak by a bunch of zombies this way. Unfortunately, this plan fell to shit when it started to rain, but it's a feasible option.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: McTaggart on 06 Nov 2007, 07:56
Yeah I was thinking about just rubbing myself in gore so they couldn't smell me. I really doubt they could detect heat; why should zombies get bonus senses?

The chainsaw is more about blending in than self defense.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 06 Nov 2007, 10:22
In Shaun Of The Dead they're fooled by simple motor movement! I will shamble my way to survival.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: mberan42 on 06 Nov 2007, 11:57
Well my old plan has been royally fucked, so my new one is head to Siberia, large open flat country, cold too, so zombies will be sluggish there, firearms are readily available, and you could start your own country their and no one would notice for years. Get an AK and you're set. Sparse population that far east makes for a low density zombie infestation.
What the fuck are you going to eat? How are you going to stay warm? Sure, you're relatively safe from zombies, but how are you going to survive? You can't eat an AK-47.

Here's a nice 'what if' for you: what if the zombie plague is airborne? You'd either need air tanks (ideal, yet too short term), or some form of antimicrobial air filtration system (less trustworthy, but effectively unlimited).
(snip)
While we're speculating, how about you take the whole 'aiming' issue out of hand entirely: automated sentries.
If the plague is airborne, we're all fucked - there's no way around that. Nobody could possibly survive for X amount of time in a world-wide airborne plague. Say it takes a zombie, on average world-wide, 4 years to completely disintegrate (minus bones) from the time they were infected. How could a human survive for 4 years without breathing infected air? It's just not possible. Secondly, regarding automated sentries - how are you going to power them? Once the main power grid is offline, what're you going to do? Once your generator runs out of gas, what're you going to do? (And if you're powering your fortress 24/7 with a noisy generator for lights, heat, other equipment and your sentries, you're pretty ridiculously moronic. An obscene waste of gas, not to mention the amount of noise the generator, erm, generates.)

And all you fire-haters have got it wrong. If you're on the ground with a ton of zombies surrounding you you're dead. Simple as that. You can't kill 'em all and they won't stop trying to kill you. So it comes down to which is more badass: Getting slaughtered by zombies or getting slaughtered by zombies that are ON FIRE.
What it really comes down to: would you really care about being badass when a horde of zombies is coming towards you? Would being badass be practical?

Some people have some pretty damn good ideas, but others aren't taking this thread very seriously. Zombies are a threat, people. When the Zombie Apocolypse comes, don't come crying to me because you don't know what to do. You have resources, you have people giving advice - use them. Read the Zombie Suvival Guide and World War Z and The Walking Dead. Watch the Romero flicks and Resident Evil and Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later. Read normal wilderness survival guides. Know how to start a fire without matches or a lighter. The more you know, the more prepared you are, the less likely you are to die.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 06 Nov 2007, 13:09
How about we build a giant boat and go off into the middle of the ocean? We could grow stuff on a boat!
Also, we could play water polo.

Last one in the water is an old zombie!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 06 Nov 2007, 13:15
(http://www.evilunleashed.com/v2/residentevil/deadaim/images/other/box.gif)

Translation: That is a shit idea. Absolute shit idea.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 06 Nov 2007, 13:21
What is that on the bottom of the game?
Its too glowy to be water.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 06 Nov 2007, 13:23
...have you ever actually seen clear water in bright light?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 06 Nov 2007, 13:24
Define "clear"
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 06 Nov 2007, 13:29
...have you ever actually seen clear water in bright light?
If by "clear" you mean "radioactive" then yes, that is very clear water.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Barfy on 06 Nov 2007, 13:32
Well, I'm sure Thatwittygeek knows all about radiation. Lets just hope his mother compensated by the government for the nuclear testing in her uterus. During her pregnancy. With him.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 06 Nov 2007, 13:35
No seriously, that is full on Cherenkov radiation.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 06 Nov 2007, 13:39
Those who bicker about the capacity of water to glow will be the first to die in the event of zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Nov 2007, 14:19
I'm all for the acid-moat program. Build a giant concrete moat and coat any moat-contacting stuff with glass, then fill the motherfucker with hydrochloric acid.

Seriously, it's foolproof. Strong-ass acid like that is capable of decomposing proteins, and when that happens, the skin *falls the fuck apart*. The glass serves two purposes: to be slippery (so those zombie bitches can't get out) and to keep the acid from eating the concrete.

Foolproof.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 06 Nov 2007, 14:37
That actually does sound like a pretty good plan. Complex and expensive, but effective.

Unless there was a horde of unumerable zombies coming and they fell in faster than the acid could decompose them and they pile up and pile up until the zombies in the back can just walk over the moat unscathed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Nov 2007, 17:12
It reminds me, at one point I saw basically a giant chainsaw outside someone's house whe riding with my dad somewhere. It was like a Caterpillar with huge huge fucking chainsaw mount on the front. My dad informed me it was for tearing up dirt and concrete, but all I could think of in my mind was "I want that if I ever want to kill zombies." Of course I was foolish then, that thing probably only goes about as fast as a zombie could shamble, and despite its destructive power at the front end the flanks and rear are completely exposed, meaning in the event of being in the middle of an open place with a horde of zombies no protection whatsoever.

In general, slow moving vehicles of destruction are fallible against the press of zombies. They can make you come to a complete halt and that is death. And for the love of god no slits through which you can insert a chainsaw to get them off the sides, because at the first bump with a live chainsaw someone's losing an arm.

If I had a choice in escape vehicles I would take either a van, SUV or Hummer. Low gas mileage and top heavy, so speed is out of the question, but I wouldn't use it for very long, just until I got out of a major population center. Assuming I had access to basic bladed weapons, tools, and a little bit of sheet metal, I would construct a wege onto the front of the vehicle and jury rig some bladed wheels. What you have then is something that can push through the zombie horde at a steady pace, not all that fast but a hell of a lot quicker than those fuckers can walk. No extra weapon slots or turrets, completely closed cabin.

But then again I'm for the run and gun method rather than holing up to survive. I would most likely travel alone for maximum maneuverability anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Cernunnos on 06 Nov 2007, 17:30
Dude any closed vehicle is a death trap. Get stuck in a mob and it is over. stick to things you can ditch really really quickly.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Nov 2007, 17:34
But if its open they can just climb in. And if you get stuck in a mob of zombies in the middle of open space I'd rather be in a closed cabin than without. You're really screwed either way and at least with a closed vehicle you have the slight chance that the horde will shift or get bored and head somewhere else. Getting pulled out of an open cockpit is instant death.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Nov 2007, 17:40
Vehicle: Only if it's armored and can only be opened from the inside once locked.

(I totally know of the perfect castle to go with for the moat plan. It's just south of Lezhë, up north near Shkodër. All you need is the moat and a drawbridge to cross it and you're fucking made, man)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Nov 2007, 17:49
Sucks for you guys, I have an enormous range of movement available to me, and depending whatever intelligence I can gather before the complete breakdown of the media I'll head for either Canada, the Rockies, or Arizona, possible Mexico, using backroads and low traffic interstates the entire way.

Or course if the outbreak happens in winter I'll head south, and in fact in the south would be one of the easier places to obtain wild or domesticated horses unless I robbed a horse farm and started traveling by pack up here in Maryland, which I suppose is plausible and even within hiking distance if I have no access to a car or said armored vehicle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 06 Nov 2007, 17:58
I didn't get very high marks in chemistry, so i may be off by a bit here, but doesn't acid break down into a nonacid substance when it contacts water? If so, wouldn't that put a crimp on the acid moat idea?

Also, in the event of a major communications and logistical breakdown that would be highly likely in the event of the zombocalypse, where are you going to get all that acid?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Nov 2007, 18:16
Shit I forgot Timothy Leary died
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 06 Nov 2007, 18:33
Man, I wish that kind of acid worked against zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: CardinalFang on 07 Nov 2007, 04:31
The solution is to convince congress to re-start the FVZA (http://www.fvza.org/).
The time is now!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 07 Nov 2007, 05:30
Well, I'm sure Thatwittygeek knows all about radiation. Lets just hope his mother compensated by the government for the nuclear testing in her uterus. During her pregnancy. With him.

All that did was make me able to shoot deathrays out of my fingertips!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 07 Nov 2007, 10:25
Man, I wish that kind of acid worked against zombies.

This is the start of a really, really awesome film script.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 07 Nov 2007, 11:35
I got dibs on 15% of all royalties for making that Timothy Leary quip.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Bearer on 08 Nov 2007, 14:35
Hey, I know there's been a lot of flak against baseball bats, but my friend mentioned something interesting about it and it got me thiking.  What if you got a metal baseball bat and filled the tip or even the whole thing (though this would compromise speed) with concrete or something to make it more solid?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 08 Nov 2007, 14:46
Way too heavy. Think about it, you're going to be lugging it around, fighting off hoardes of zombies, and running away with it? I'd just go for some solid metal bar, dense enough to mash up zombies but small and light enough to carry around practically.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 08 Nov 2007, 14:58
crowbar

or as some people (europeans maybe? dunno) might know it: prybar
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 08 Nov 2007, 15:14
Well, you wouldn't want to hit them with the stabby end; it would defnitely get stuck. You use the blunt part to bludgeon their soft, zombie heads.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 08 Nov 2007, 15:17
A straight up length of lead piping or a ball hammer would probably be better than a crowbar, because of the sticking issue.

The problem with baseball bats is not so much the weight, but rather that it simply doesn't concentrate the force of the blow in a small enough area. Basic physics people. The smaller the area force is applied to, the greater the force. Blows with baseball bats, if they do break the skull, are probably going to cause hairline fractures, but injuries that might knock a human unconscious, or cause them to die from cerebral haemorraghing aren't going to do shit to a zombie. It's very doubtful that a zombie CAN haemorraghe. No, you need to shatter their skull like a fucking soft boiled egg, and preferably slosh around a liberal quantity of brains to boot.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: the-artful-dodger-rodger on 08 Nov 2007, 15:28
me and my friends prepare for this every so often, by role-playing like d&d. we call it the the Zombie Contingency Plan, what would do if the zombie oubreak happen, so far it has all worked out.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 08 Nov 2007, 15:31
I've heard of security companies doing such things and calling them 'react drills'. Basically, fake bad shit goes down and people volunteer to be the 'bad guy' and all the security people are the good guys. Bonus points 'cause they don't know it's a drill until the very last minute.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 08 Nov 2007, 15:35
It's probably best to aim for the base of the skull/neck and fuck up the cerebral cortex/spinal cord. Less resistance, more chance of getting them down in one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 08 Nov 2007, 15:47
It's hard to aim for the neck unless you are behind them, in which case you should be running, not attacking.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 08 Nov 2007, 18:21
plus if you do somehow manage to break their neck/damage their spin then they could still bite passersby from the ground. it'd rather just destroy the brain. JUST TO BE SURE.

either that, or just parkour my way to safety like i mentioned earlier. i'm not much of a fighter so i think that's my best bet, anways.


edit: Master Plan, everyone. this applies to biological zombies only (the only kind of zombie i'm worried about). okay, we find a way to set off some sort of low-frequency soundwave bomb (or something) with sufficient enough force to destroy the ear drums of anyone within a certain radius. we set this bitch off in whatever city we happen to be trying to escape from (wearing earplugs, of course) then when night falls we all don night-vision goggles and casually stroll out of the city, escaping harm forever.

reasons this will work:
1) zombies(biological) do not have special powers i.e. night vision, super smell, super hearing, ESP
2) they are dead! their eardrums will NEVER grow back.

they won't stand a chance. you can thank me when we are all not zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scrambled Egg Machine on 08 Nov 2007, 18:33
I have a SHTF bag for this sort of circumstance(riots, zombies, dems winning an election, etc), so I would pack it, and go out into the rockies for a while.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 08 Nov 2007, 20:08
A baseball bat may not be the best choice to kill a zombie, but its merits in escaping I think are being underplayed here. You need to knock the zombie out of the way to get away, you don't necessarily need to kill it. Just incapacitate it for a few moments to make your break, and you can continue to do this for quite a while thanks to that handy ergonomic design.

And if you're in a situation when there's only a couple zombies, you can beat them repeatedly at your leisure anyway, so the one-hit kill isn't all that important.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jodizzle on 08 Nov 2007, 21:15
edit: Master Plan, everyone. this applies to biological zombies only (the only kind of zombie i'm worried about). okay, we find a way to set off some sort of low-frequency soundwave bomb (or something) with sufficient enough force to destroy the ear drums of anyone within a certain radius. we set this bitch off in whatever city we happen to be trying to escape from (wearing earplugs, of course) then when night falls we all don night-vision goggles and casually stroll out of the city, escaping harm forever.

reasons this will work:
1) zombies(biological) do not have special powers i.e. night vision, super smell, super hearing, ESP
2) they are dead! their eardrums will NEVER grow back.

they won't stand a chance. you can thank me when we are all not zombies.

I don't know, even if the zombies don't have super smell, they still have smell in general.  To smell out delicious fresh meat.  Meaning you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 08 Nov 2007, 22:48
Well given that they only have an average sense of smell, who here can smell a live person, or indeed fresh, raw meat from a distance of more than about 5 feet?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jodizzle on 08 Nov 2007, 22:52
I am pretty convinced that zombies are like dogs, and can smell a fresh meal easily.  Not super smell, animal instinct smell.

Someone agree with me  :-(
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Nov 2007, 03:19
Well given that they only have an average sense of smell, who here can smell a live person, or indeed fresh, raw meat from a distance of more than about 5 feet?

The person? Depends how sweaty they are from fighting off a bunch of zombies. Fresh, raw meat? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm Masculine As Fuck (tm), but yeah I can totally smell it from 5 feet away.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bryanthelion on 09 Nov 2007, 05:30
Couldnt we enslave them so we could have them build our missle base?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StMonkey on 09 Nov 2007, 05:39
If we could enslave them, why would we need a missile base? We have a zombie army.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 09 Nov 2007, 05:59
Well, we'd need somewhere to keep it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Nov 2007, 06:29
"What the hell's in there?"
"Uh... Nuthin'"
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Nov 2007, 06:51
Why don't we just buy that missile site that was up for sale in that one thread? We can evade the zombies there.
Title: For me, zombies jumped the shark with the invention of fishnet stockings.
Post by: Spinless on 09 Nov 2007, 07:10
Zombies are too slow and stupid to be a threat if you keep your eyes open. They lack the capacity to open doors too. Romero was wrong, zombies will NOT get smarter over time.
Basically, stay indoors, you'll be fine.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 09 Nov 2007, 08:28
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 09 Nov 2007, 08:34
the last three pages of that article are missing, and I'd have to see the haitian zombie thing to believe it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 09 Nov 2007, 09:00
It's Cracked.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 09 Nov 2007, 09:57
"What the hell's in there?"
"Uh... Nuthin'"
hee hee, you forgot the shifty eyes.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Nov 2007, 10:15
Until they claw the door down or you run out of food.

Haha dude you haven't seen the third floor of my house have you.

That "Real-life zombies" thing sounds just the tiniest bit far-fetcHAHAHA LOCK THESE GUYS UP IN AN ASYLUM
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 09 Nov 2007, 11:48
I am pretty convinced that zombies are like dogs, and can smell a fresh meal easily.  Not super smell, animal instinct smell.

Someone agree with me  :-(

nope. smells are particles in the air that we can smell because the mucus in our nose breaks them down for absorbtion into our olfactory epitheleum(sp?).  after death we will stop producing these fluids and dry out; ending our ability to smell anything at all.

and even IF zombies somehow did continue to produce this mucus, our noses only have a limited amount space to absorb smells through. which means we can never aquire a better sense of smell. i can't smell another person unless they are about two feet away so.....neither can a zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 12 Nov 2007, 19:21
The Archaeological Institute of America investigates the evidence for zombies in ancient Egypt (http://www.archaeology.org/online/features/hierakonpolis/zombies.html).

(also known as: archaeologists are really funny and cool)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ummmkay on 12 Nov 2007, 19:39
Daniel Jackson? What?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 13 Nov 2007, 17:32
The Archaeological Institute of America investigates the evidence for zombies in ancient Egypt (http://www.archaeology.org/online/features/hierakonpolis/zombies.html).

This is beautiful.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 13 Nov 2007, 23:42
I am so sending that link to my best friend who lives in Egypt.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 31 Jan 2008, 13:45
Update: When it happens, everyone who can should come to the QC Rendevous Point in the Florida Keys, specifically Key West.


Also don't forget to bring your pets if you can, and/or any livestock you happen across, because after the zombies run out of people to maul they will go after anything with blood or brains in it and if zombie-ism doesn't affect them then they are just going to have chunks bitten out of them and bleed to death and it will be sad and horrible.


Also horses would be good to grab, because without people running oil wells and processing plants we will run out of petrol eventually. Plus the undead won't be so concentrated in the rural areas, so stopping by a few farms wouldn't hurt I don't think.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 31 Jan 2008, 15:08
How ironic.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 31 Jan 2008, 15:11
Katie, you have creates a Zombie thread!


I just finished reading the entire topic.  

My plans for the inevitable Zombie uprising.  I'm getting on top of my house with my BFG( a rifle that I can add a scope to) and shoot all incoming Zombies.  Bonus points when the bullet goes through a series of Zombies.  Any Fast-movers will have to climb 2-stories to get me, and even then, I'll have my pistol, close range head shot.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 31 Jan 2008, 15:13
And then you will run out of ammo and if you forget to save the last bullet for yourself you'll be torn apart by zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 31 Jan 2008, 15:22
I never run out of bullets.  I'm Ash!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hunter on 31 Jan 2008, 16:12
Sorry, we don't watch Pokemon.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 31 Jan 2008, 18:52
Guys I recently discovered that the Albanian navy still has like 8 nuclear-powered submarines just -laying around- after the Cold War, and I know exactly where they are (permanently sealed and submerged at a sub pen down south near Corfu). My plan is STILL IN PLAY. Just meet me on Corfu and we will have to play the rest by ear.

I suggest you bring diving equipment, underwater welding gear, a production welder for internal repairs, and a radiation suit. Also schematics for a nuclear power reactor would be good.

Katie thanks for necroposting, otherwise this information wouldn't be available to the masses!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: David_Dovey on 31 Jan 2008, 18:56
I thought you said underwater wedding gear.

I thought, awwww old-fashioned underwater romance, repopulating the Earth in a morally responsible manner!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 31 Jan 2008, 18:59
How hard can it be to operate a nuclear reactor?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 31 Jan 2008, 19:02
I thought, awwww old-fashioned underwater romance, repopulating the Earth in a morally responsible manner!

Not with tommy around!

wait i am still new am i allowed to call tommy a slut?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 31 Jan 2008, 19:12
Just so long as you follow orders and shoot those really ugly smelly corpse-y things, you can do whatever the hell you want.

This doesn't mean Tommy won't light you on fire for it when he gets the chance.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 31 Jan 2008, 20:09
     nooooooooooooooo
    /
:-D
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Liz on 31 Jan 2008, 20:56
I thought you said underwater wedding gear.

I thought, awwww old-fashioned underwater romance, repopulating the Earth in a morally responsible manner!

Because in the event of the zombie apocalypse our main focus will be morals!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 31 Jan 2008, 20:59
Is this from the hour long discussion me and Jon had today on gabbly? I'm sticking to the Southwest as my destination, and I don't think Jon's gonna change his plans either. Maybe in the long term, but I think the best way to survive is to go it alone, and if you can't, then your chances are severely reduced anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 31 Jan 2008, 21:09
Where the heck are people buying these wooden hafted axes anyway? Get with the 21st century! A good solid synthetic handle is harder to break although they transmit more vibration along your arm when you're hitting something really solid. That shouldn't be too big of a problem though when splitting a rotting corpse's brainpan anyway.

As for firearms, I'm sticking with my 12 guage Benelli pump, thank you very much. 00 buckshot never goes out of style and the shit isn't exactly hard to find in Minny. Plus, my mom owns like 7 guns; after a certain point you just stop counting. I won't even go into what my grandfather owns.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hat on 31 Jan 2008, 21:32
Man, the guy I have been planning our Zombiepocalypse tactics with just refuses to use guns, which is putting a crimp in my plans. This guy is convinced that firing a gun at any point will lead to our doom, which is just silly. I get that you shouldn't use firearms for isolated zombies, but when the shit hits the fan, you're going to want a nice automatic rifle to mow down the shuffling hordes.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 31 Jan 2008, 21:36
That really sucks. At the very least you should get a good pump action since they're so easy to maintain (contrary to popular belief, buckshot with no choke will only have like a 3 inch group at 12 feet or so, so you do still have to aim a fair bit). Just stay away from bird shot.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dr.sangaygupta on 31 Jan 2008, 21:43
In all honesty a .22 rifle would be better as the low speed/velocity a .22 has would bounce around in a skull. while it may not have the range as a 5.56mm NATO round, it would be much better because of the lack of intacct flesh and/or softer bone. or you could use a converted M4/ AR-15 (dunno what it is) that fires 9mm.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 31 Jan 2008, 21:45
If you are worried about ammo, get an M44, or possibly a M91/30, if it is possible to put the m44 bayonet on them, you could stab someone from almost as far away as you could shoot them. Seriously, that bayonet is twelve inches long.

Probably a 5.56 would be best for guns, as it is lighter than a .308, but you can punch through a skull with it easy. .308 would be good for longer range, though. You wouldn't want to be picky, though, get everything you can carry, and some reloading supplies, if you can. If you know guns well, when you took your pick of one, you would want one that went easy on the brass, for reloading purposes. In other words: No G3 clones.

My choice would be to go up in the mountains here in Colorado, plenty of animals for hunting, relatively empty, and if you life above the alpine line, you could see anything that came near. Cliffs would also be good, zombies aren't the most dexterous, and if you shot one that managed to be high up on the cliff, it would probably fall and land on the heads of ones beneath.

I am actually planning on moving up into the mountains eventually, so this would be pretty easy then. Especially since I would also have over a dozen guns and thousands of rounds of ammo before long.

No automatics if they are headshot zombies though, you want to conserve ammunition. A select-fire would be fine, but keep it on semi unless you have a really good reason.

edit: The advantage to iron sights is that you couldn't recognize features like you could with a large magnification scope, which would mean that you wouldn't have the "I know that guy" moment.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 31 Jan 2008, 22:17
I suggested a shotgun mostly due to their easy maintenance and the fact that I myself will be using one extensively simply because that's one of the weapons I happen to have and personally feel most comfortable with. Plus, some zombie types appear to be able to withstand wounds to what would normally be vital organs or do not require headshots to kill, in which case you may be better off taking a higher caliber rifle or a shotgun w/ slugs that's simply capable of at least downing the suckers with a hit to center mass. A good rifle is always the top choice but sometimes you have to make due, and shotguns beat this piss out of handguns.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 31 Jan 2008, 22:23
Man, you guys, fuck that .22 noise, give me a .30-06 M1 Garand. Sure, it won't bounce around in the skull, but seriously? Who needs that when the bullet RIPS THE SKULL AND IT'S CONTENTS APART because it is going THAT FAST. Seriously that shit is like 2000m/s, and the round is plenty big enough and heavy enough to keep going for a good while after it's already blasted through one zombie skull.

That said, I also want a Desert Eagle. I don't care if the thing breaks your hand every time you fire it, it will probably plow through the heads of like 80 zombies if they're lined up just right.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 31 Jan 2008, 22:30
If I can make it to my grandfather's house, it's pretty much .30-06's all around. My grandfather's 86 years old, and some of his weapons are damn near as hold as he is, but they're also pristinely kept and have been killing shit since before just about anyone here was born. A few of 'em are bolt action but that'd still be fine for plinking them from a distance or for hunting for food. I mean shit, if it can kill a moose, it can kill a zombie. Although, we might be fucked if there's zombie-moose.


For what it's worth, I found an artist's rendition of what could potentially be the ideal weapon if only we could get someone to develop it (not really, but it IS awesome):
(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a207/Xyljin/ImageD.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 Feb 2008, 01:25
Man, you guys, fuck that .22 noise, give me a .30-06 M1 Garand. Sure, it won't bounce around in the skull, but seriously? Who needs that when the bullet RIPS THE SKULL AND IT'S CONTENTS APART because it is going THAT FAST. Seriously that shit is like 2000m/s, and the round is plenty big enough and heavy enough to keep going for a good while after it's already blasted through one zombie skull.

That said, I also want a Desert Eagle. I don't care if the thing breaks your hand every time you fire it, it will probably plow through the heads of like 80 zombies if they're lined up just right.
Not 2000M/s, more like... less than 1000, it is 2600 FPS I think, according to wikipedia, it it 750-890, but I think you have to use specific ones in the garand, if you use the wrong powder, it will mess it up.

The M1A would probably be a better choice though, think Garand with a 20 round box magazine, in .308 rather than .30-06. No more garand thumb for the clumsy people, and that many more zombies before you need to reload.

Shotguns would be good even with headshot zombies because a good shot to the neck or lower head might decapitate.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Shadies on 01 Feb 2008, 04:24
Well the plan Im trying to spread around my hometown is to take over the costco in town. Its a warehouse with very few and well fortifide entrances. Food, supplies, space, flat roof. Also, across from us is a Wal Mart, Lowes, Jeep dealership, our own gas station and most importantly a small airport and military training area for helicopter pilots and such. So anyone near Salem Oregon you know where Ill be. We will try and create the most fortified Costco ever and if we fail then we will just fly out of there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 01 Feb 2008, 06:20
I wouldn't mind being roof guard if I get a grenade launcher. Even one of those old breech loaders would be good.

"Oh, look... a nice, thick zombie horde."
>THOOMP!<
>FUCKBOOM!<
"Oh, look... a nice, thick zombie marinara."
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 08:00
My stance is that you shouldn't be taking potshots at range against zombies anyway since engaging should be a last resort kind of deal. The range is undoubtedly a drawback, but shotguns are pretty effective within 50 meters and with the right slugs even a smoothbore is pretty accurate up to 75 meters. And let's face it; how many of us here have the skill to feel very comfortable firing off bunches of valuable ammo from farther out than that?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 08:01
For fuck's sake, Shadies, get with the program. You never spread about your precise intended location. You keep it between close friends and loved ones at best, that's it. The last thing you need is to try and hole up in a warehouse with 75 other twats you don't really even like all that much. Good luck when you're running low on food inside of six months and tensions run high.

I've let it be known what my general locale will be, but I sure as shit ain't giving you pricks the exact location. With enough ingenuity, someone could figure out it's general area, but it'd take a bit of work. The hardest part for me would be getting to my location. I've plotted to keep it within a single gas tank's worth of travel so I wouldn't have to stop. Once I'm there, though, the location is in a large warehouse wholesale store with only one obvious entrance that could easily be barricaded with items from around the store. They sell generators and there's about five gas stations within a short move. I've got two hardware stores and a Wal-Mart within striking distance as well as multiple gun shops and auto/bike dealerships should things get hairy and we need to abandon our position. The locale is also relatively sparsely populated, so there's likely to be less zombies and the intended hideout would be less likely to be crowded with survivors as a good chunk of the population there is inbred, idiot hicks.

In terms of shit I'd be carrying on me? Mostly disposables. I'd try to keep a small calibur handgun on me for absolute emergencies. You don't want anything too big as it'll be a burden, making you move slower. On top of that, high calibur weapons are unweildy. You don't want to be carrying a .45 if you can't get off a headshot outside of 10 yards. A lower calibur weapon would have less recoil, making it easier to puncture the brain from slightly further away and would also be a quicker shot. I would rely a bit more heavily on a wood handled hatchet for must-kill situations with smaller groups. Primarily, though, I'd stick with a crowbar, but the back end, not the claw. People need to take a better cue from Shaun of the Dead. You don't need to be Ash fucking Williams people. You just need to get by the zombies, not slaughter them. Using a melee weapon to try and kill a zombie carries multiple risks. A claw hammer, hatchet or crowbar, for example, could quite possibly get stuck in the zombie's head if your follow through is too hard. While you're trying to dig the fucker out, you run the risk of being defenseless while other zombies move in on you. Best option is quick concussive strikes. Knock them in the head to get them down and just run the fuck away. Don't be a hero, just escape. A crowbar is quite probably the most effective for this. It's rather heavy, but unlikely to warp or break. You can use the claw for a kill if necessary, but it's one of the most effective bets for putting a zombie down long enough for you to put ample distance between it and yourself.

Remember, you can't be carrying an arsenal. If your aim is survival as opposed to taking as many with you as you can before they devour your sorry ass, small calibur handhelds are all you'll want. A rifle is useless in an escape situation as the sound will draw more to your area, so taking out ones blocking your path is a waste and you shouldn't be putting yourself in a situation where you can be potentially bottlenecked by them anyway. A small calibur for emergencies and a crowbar/hatchet combination is all you should be burdening yourself with. The hatchet and crowbar are also twofold useful for clearing debris and getting necessary firewood while on any long range trips. Overburdening yourself with additional weaponry only takes away valuable ration space. Improvisational weapons like large tree branches, bats and the like can be come across anywhere, but you don't want to risk travelling without some guarunteed clean food and water.

Another recommendation that's relatively extraneous, but wholly useful: A dog. If you have a dog, do not abandon them. This isn't even a matter of animal rights, this is a matter of usefulness. Animals can smell a threat, you cannot. You're going to need rest occasionally and a dog is as good as any proximity alarm. Dogs will bark at the sign of predators, typically. Have yourself ready to move at a moment's notice when catching a nap and that barking could save your life.

This brings me to transport. Overall, on foot is the safest practical means. You have complete manueverability and no burdens. A dirt bike or motorcycle would be a good alternative if you're on your own, particularly the former. They have low gas mileage, so you'd need less stops for travel and a dirt bike can go off road if need be.

Get your shit together people, zombie outbreaks are serious business.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 01 Feb 2008, 08:05
Once again, Jon proves himself.

The rest of you will be ate while still arguing about what kind of gun you're going to have in your hands while you're dying.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 01 Feb 2008, 08:16
I already know what I want my gun to be.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 08:28
Also of note that's a smart idea to bring: Rags, a lighter, matches and some butane.

Aside from fire to cook, the rags make for useful portable distractions. Soak a rag in butane and shove it in a gas tank. Light the end and run like fuck. The ensuing explosion will serve as a good distraction for you to sneak by zombies while not wasting any ammo or anything. This is how I plan to make my way out of the city. Bring an extra bag of rags and butane that I can abandon at the city limits and then a little bit for emergencies on the road. Aside from the distraction, if the cars are gridlocked badly enough, you could cause a pretty big chain explosion that would probably take out a fair number of the zombies in your way. Considering one would be abandoning this locale anyway, collateral damage and fires are a reasonable risk.

Note, it's hella dangerous and not to be advised without taking into account your surroundings first.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 01 Feb 2008, 08:45
Cars don't have explosives in them, Jon.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 09:21
I'm sure I'll be fine, although the sidearms are likely to get some people eaten due to a false sense of security. Handguns are an utter bitch to use properly, aren't terribly accurate, are still easily loud enough to attract attention, and recoil doesn't matter as much as you'd think when using a rifle because recoil doesn't throw off your shot, it throws off your subsequent shots if you're firing off lots of rounds very quickly via semi-auto. While both weapons have manageable recoil with technique, screwing up with a decent caliber pistol tends to be easier AND hurt more than screwing up with a modest caliber (but still likely more powerful) rifle. Technique is really important with pistols; they're not as forgiving of sloppy technique as rifles are at modest ranges and if you don't grip the thing firmly enough the silly thing might not even cycle. Which, again, is why I advocate the pump action shotgun or bolt action rifle if you're not Dirty Harry; they're easy to use, easy to maintain and a n00b can kill things with it. Handguns are none of those things.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 09:31
I meant it in reply to Obsessions, not your post, which is basically saying the same thing: longarms are waaay easier to be accurate with than pistols.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 10:10
My complaint towards larger sidearms and rifles isn't a matter of accuracy or technical skill, it's more a matter of burden.

If you're going gung ho and trying to hold ground on something, yeah, larger sidearms would be useful. However, when we're talking pure survival on the run, the only times you should be using a gun at all is in situations where you need to get off multiple shots at once, which is why recoil becomes a large factor. If a zombie's far enough away that the difference between a headshot on a rifle or handgun is relevant, you shouldn't be engaging to begin with. A firearm should be an emergency weapon. Whereas an automatic weapon would be a waste of ammo (Not to mention much harder to get ahold of for your average person) and a rifle would be impractical for close range fighting, a small calibur handgun would seem the more optimal choice. If you're only dealing with one or two zombies, you should just be taking a blunt instrument to their head in an effort to knock them out of your way and run, not standing your ground and tempting fate. A small calibur handgun will be a quicker shot, a lighter ammo and a quicker reload than much anything else you can easily get your hands on. The most important factor in any zombie encounter is a quick escape, not getting into a pissing contest with the undead. Remember, a handgun is classified typically as a self defense weapon for a reason. We're not playing offense on this.

Beyond the practicality of using and aquiring a firearm, we must remember one of the most important parts of survival: encumberance. The bigger and heavier your weapon is, the less additional supplies you can carry. A headshot's a headshot. A 9MM pistol is still likely going to do the job for you while weighing about a tenth of your average sidearm.

Also of importance, as noted briefly, you don't want to rely on luck. Anyways mentions he knows where to aquire an HK416, but what if it's gone by the time to reach the destination it's located or your route to it is impassable? For that matter, how do you get from where you are to where it is? If it's in your home and yours, fine and dandy, but if it belongs to someone else, it's probably been swiped already. A plan centered around a gun fails to note the horrible impracticality of aquiring one to begin with for your average survivor. A crowbar can be got at any department or hardware store, damn near everyone's got a hammer or a bat lying around. Looking around my office, I can see about a dozen things that could be used for a makeshift bludgeon to get me to somewhere I could stock up on the base supplies my plan revolves around, even being away from the home where I store all the stuff I routinely would plan around. Relying on a gun means relying on access to a specialty store that actually has them sitting around. If you're within a mile or two of a military base and don't have to trudge through hostile territory to get there, that's one thing. As it stands, though, if we want to play "best gun for the situation" regardless of one's ability to actually access it, one might as well say they'll wait it out in a freakin' tank.

I stress again, folks: Think practically. You are not John Rambo. You're not butting heads with enemy soldiers. You're up against slow moving, mindless drones that, while stronger than you and incredibly deadly, can be easily outsmarted. Don't outgun an enemy like that, outthink it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 10:29
Unless, of course, you run into other hostile survivors with guns. Then again, I'm from the heart of the midwest; the only thing in my room heavy enough to bludgeon someone to death with is a marlin .22 and my ATX midtower.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 01 Feb 2008, 10:32
your first mistake is that you will be grouping together with other humans.

your second mistake is that you told me where you were going to do it.

i'm am going to wait around in my secret fortress* and when i figure you are all dead/undead, i will move in and steal your supplies.



* i use the term "fortress" loosely
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Storm Rider on 01 Feb 2008, 11:02
Wouldn't thinking practically mean that you wouldn't be planning for a zombie apocalypse in the first place?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 11:08
Yeah, we'll see how practical we are when we stumble upon Kari devouring your fucking brains, Bryan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Cam on 01 Feb 2008, 12:11
The shotgun obviously does way more damage, but they rarely pack more than 8 shells fully loaded, and only extremely rare cases utilizes clips - most are manual feed, which is pretty damn unpractical if zombies are trying to munch on your innards. It's also lacking range.

You could always buy a Saiga-12 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saiga-12).  It seems like it would be the ultimate in zombie slaying.  Hey guys, let's take an ak-47 and turn it into a shot gun.  Perfect!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Storm Rider on 01 Feb 2008, 12:31
Yeah, we'll see how practical we are when we stumble upon Kari devouring your fucking brains, Bryan.

Somehow I feel pretty comfortable about taking my chances on that one.

Also, Kari lives like 2 hours away from me, dude. 8 hours for 3 months of the year, if you want to get technical.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 12:46
Once you start getting into combat shotguns though the darned availability, cost and ease of maintenance thing begins to rear its head again, which is problematic since the only big advantages (Well, unless you're bird hunting) shotguns have over other weapons is simplicity of design, cost and reliability. There's really two big reasons why I suggested shotguns: in some parts of the country you can still get a pump action at Walmart and K-Mart for under $400 and they'll still definitely outperform handguns.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hat on 01 Feb 2008, 12:56
Anyone who uses a handgun against zombies deserves to die. It's painfully obvious they don't have the stopping power.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 13:17
Dude, nothing short of a fucking grenade has the stopping power to kill a zombie unless you get off a headshot. As long as you're passably capable of getting off said headshot, anything you can sqeueze off a round into their skull with without endangering yourself further is enough.

I repeat, once more, your primary goal in the event of a zombie outbreak should be escape and subsequent survival, not playing at being John fucking Spartan. Outrun, outsmart, outlive.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 13:33
It's so much easier to teach someone to consistently target a smallish area with a longarm than a sidearm that it borders upon the mind-boggling. Pistols are genuinely terrible weapons compared to other firearms.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 13:36
See Hat, this is the part where everyone fucks up. Handguns have all the stopping power in the world you need as long as you aim for the head. You shoot these things in the body and they'd laugh at you if they still had it in them. You aim for the brain, which even for a zombie is the battery of it more or less.

Me and Jon after four of five of these chats for like an hour on gabbly still disagree on several points, but I think he's far more equipped to sruvive than anyone else on here (besides me and my rationale of course). But I still think his plan is doomed to failure. I've explained before that the entire point of my survival plan is to never stop moving, never settle down and "hole up". The moment you commit yourself to one spot and start building up defenses there you're stuck, that's it, goodbye. Give the zombies a chance to build up on you and they will, and then you'll be in a tower under seige. Doesn't matter if there's gas and supplies within a mile of your location if for 200 yards in every direction around you is a solid mass of the undead. Unless you've got tunneling skills or areadily accessible sewer system to get between these points you're still royally fucked. Not to mention that in order to not compromise the entire system you've got to be able to barricade all other places you're hoping to access, because even though zombies aren't the best at sneaking up, it'd be great if while you were at the local home improvement store and they pile up around the doors while you're doing your shopping you're caught away from your main stash of food and water and there's nothing you can do about it.

I do agree with him that a motorcycle would be the perfect way to escape from a major population center. Maneuverable and light, can get through places where cars can't and in many cases where they've tried. But it won't last forever. If you've got a place you're headed for, they'll work, but in my opinion the idea of a permanent locale is just downright stupid anyway, so once you've gotten out you need to find yourself heavier transport. The drawbacks to a motorcycle are the fact that you can't stock up on any significant amount of supplies, so you're forced to stick close to places where you can raid for food and water on a regular basis. Motorcycles and traveling on foot offer absolutely zero protection and armor, and no security when you get tired and need rest, you're like a naked baby plopped out in the middle of the woods when the wolves begin to howl at that point. And suppose this location you're already set for turns out to be a bust? Either the store itself is packed with zombies or someone else has beaten you to the punch and won't let you in, or you don't want to be let in on their rules and forced to try and survive with them when you'd be better off on your own (which you would). Or worse yet these locations are already looted out. Given the last isn't likely since you're counting on an early bird gets the worm scenario anyway. The motorcycle would no longer be a viable option given any of these factors however.

With a properly outfitted heavy vehicle you don't need luck, you have strength. True, gas mileage on a beast like I'm thinking would be horrible, but I would be carrying extra fuel wherever I went as part of the cargo of food, supplies and now possibly an extra lightweight vehicle, like a motorcycle or a dirtbike in case I really did have to abandon ship. Entrance to the vehicle would be restricted to top access only, with ladders on the side of the vehicle (since zombies can't climb ladders) to allow access to the top.This would be dangerous if I needed to get into the vehicle fast, but unlikely since I'll be in low population areas anyway. Windows removed and replaced by heavy wood and sheet metal, plexiglass on the front to allow heavier strength and maintain vision. A constucted plowlike wedge on the front of the vehicle to prevent buildup and blockage in the event of zombie pile-up and possibly to break through otherwise impossible obstacles. and finally solid-rubber wheels, to hold the extra weight and prevent any blowouts from happening ever. Of course, admittedly it'd take quite a bit to get a vehicle like this built up and properly maintained, and that would be the biggest flaw in my plan. I'd have to find a place where I could get the right kind of vehicle and have somewhere to hole up with the tools and supplies in order to properly outfit it. But this is my best-case scenario plan, and even if it takes a long time for me to procure one of these I'm still planning on heading south and west, to open country, to allow for all the escape routes I could ever want, the open freedom, and a nomadic lifestyle to stay forever one-step ahead of the zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 13:42
Once again, you don't want to be consistantly shooting to begin with. Thinking in a survivalist mentality, guns should, without exception, be an absolute last resort. If you're far enough away from them that you need anything but a pistol to get off a headshot, you should not be engaging them at all.

I've used a gun once in my life and that was a .357. Relatively unweildy even as handguns go and my hands are far from steady. I was still able to shoot a bottle from at least thirty or forty feet. If they're any further away than that, there is absolutely no reason to engage them, you should be soldiering on.

Also of note: I'm talking primarily your standard ZSG style zombie. If you want to debate 28 Days Later style zombies, well...my entire plan for that would be to run to the roof of my building and jump the fuck off. That's a doomsday scenario that would essentially either render us extinct inside two years or leave the human race so decimated and spread out there'd be almost no hope of ever repopulating. The only reason they survived in the first movie is because it was on an island and even that ending was a bit implausible. Had a dozen or so of those fuckers raided the place, it would've gone exactly like the opening to the sequel.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 14:03
Jon's right, you don't want to be looking at guns at all as a primary weapon. They're good for picking off single targets when alone and from a small distance, or once you're holed up for keeping buildup from happening around your territory.

Myself I would probably love to have a rifle with a scope should I be able to fit it into my vehicle for hunting (still living animals), to keep from relying too much on raiding and be able to keep it down to once every two weeks so I don't have to be near cities very often. Dried or salted meat can be kept for months, and as long as I find the occasional fuit grove or plant somewhere I can keep malnutrition and scurvy away.

Speaking of, since your plan is to hold down somewhere I do have the tip Jon that once you are there try and systematically wipe out what native zombie population is in your area, and once you've downed them to separate their heads with your axe and create a mass grave somewhere a couple miles away from where you're actually holed up. The less smell there is of rotting meat about the fewer zombies attracted to the area anyway I'd think. And the separating head from body I think is just a good overall safety precaution anyway, even if the head somehow remains alive its gonna have a much harder time biting you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: mberan42 on 01 Feb 2008, 14:06
Dude, nothing short of a fucking grenade has the stopping power to kill a zombie

I disagree with you here - a grenade is a terrible weapon for zombies. The primary purpose of a grenade is to send lots and lots of shrapnel into (living) human bodies. It doesn't really matter where the shrapnel enters, because so much of it gets into the body that the person dies. Against zombies, however, shrapnel in the body does absolutely nothing. As you said Jon, headshots are what you want. The chances of getting a lethal amount of shrapnel from the explosion into the head are slim. You're just going to end up with a lot of zombies with body parts missing; you'll have to go around and shoot each one in the head anyway. Secondly, the amount of noise a grenade makes will alert every zombie within a huge radius. So provided that you get a grenade (where the fuck are you going to get a grenade anyway? And who'd want to carry them around?), it goes off properly and even manages to take out a few zombies, you'd better get the fuck outta there, and fast.

Boro, man, where the fuck are you going to be able to drive that thing? It certainly won't have off-road capabilities. The roads are going to be completely clogged with abandoned vehicles - do you really want to risk crashing into every single one to move it out of the way, repeatedly damaging your vehicle? Plus, it'll probably use diesel fuel - those engines are much louder than normal cars. I agree in that an armoured vehicle can be a good refuge for a night or two, but I highly disagree that you can survive long-term in it. What happens when you're surrounded by zombies, out of fuel, out of food and out of ammo? Do you use the one bullet you (always, always{/i] should) save on yourself?

Jon said it best: you're there to survive, not be a hero. Outrun, outsmart, outlive.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 14:14
Once again matt, You have to consider where I'll be driving. The idea is to not have this vehicle when I am close to major population centers, or on major highways near them where the roads truly will be clogged for miles and miles. I have an extremely detailed Road atlas of the United States that tells me every road that is paved, and many many that aren't. I'm not going to try and use this thing on I-95. I will keep moving, but not by the shortest routes possible. There is a spiderweb across every part of the united states of roads that will be empty and silent, and those are the ones I'm going to use. True, they aren't the quickest routes but with this vehicle it'll be quick enough to outrun zombies (zombies can still only go as fast as normal humans when running, and they aren't trackstars, no form). I don't need to be pushing 80 to get to where I need to go, and the armored nature of the vehicle would make up for its speed and loudness. And once I am away from large cities I won't have to worry what fucking road I'm driving on.

You do know that the US is a big fucking place right?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Chrasstor on 01 Feb 2008, 14:30
If there was a zombie uprising I would be on the zombies team. You people are horrible. Read over your posts, and decide for yourself who the real monsters are. Zombies are just trying to make a god damn living the only way they know how, like any fucking other person.

What if being a zombie isn't so bad? There aren't really zombies(yet), so who's to say what it's really like to be a zombie? What if it's a state of nirvana?
Zombies are people too, and if you deny them that right then you're a fucking bigot. This thread has tales of extreme violence. It makes me fucking sick. I'm going to fucking vomit, you people.












WE WILL FUCKING WRECK YOU!
(http://www.aneyeoni.com/ART/Illustrations/Aleksi_Zombies_boxcover.600_600.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 14:50
Fighting is always a last resort, and if that's the case I'm not going to be fucking around with a claw hammer and risk getting infected. You have to allow for setbacks too; if zombies are between you and fuel and food then well, you might have to shoot something.

Anyway, as far as vehicles are concerned, I'd go the predictable hick route again; a light pickup truck (with a bed cover, of course; last thing I want to do is make it easier for a zombie to hitch a ride) has a fairly decent combination of fuel efficiency and storage, and it'd be a helluva lot easier to "acquire" a shitty ford ranger or something in an emergency than a zombie crushing super vehicle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 01 Feb 2008, 14:53
I am a horrible person, I know I am.  But am I so horrible for killing a creature that was once a human being who died but is back up walking?

Also, I'm just going to say, the majority of you are pretty fucked anyway.  Why, you ask?  Becaue the Zombacalypse has already started.  The mutagen/virus is in our drinking water.  Filtering the water does almost nothing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: DelusionalBlues on 01 Feb 2008, 15:12
I've been drinking my own piss for 4 years now so I don't have to worry about that.

Boro, your truck sounds well-equiped, but how likely is it that you alone would be able to make the necessary modifications to it? Do you plan to roam the coasts, fleeing from city to city and hoping you'll find a gas pump that hasn't been emptied out already?

 I would probably stick to the middle of the country, or perhaps a northern remote part next to water and has cold weather (does the cold slow down zombies? Could they freeze?) and enough vegetation and wildlife to support me for awhile - depending on the severity of the scenario, it's highly unlikely I would meet another human being again for my lifetime. Traps and rudimentary weapons would become more valuable to me than guns, since guns are noisy and require ammunition that might not be easily replaceable.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 01 Feb 2008, 15:23
yes, they will freeze much much easier than us since they are not cirulating warm blood. cold places are good.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 15:28
if zombies are between you and fuel and food then well, you might have to shoot something.

fuel ,shoot

fuel ,shoot

God fucking damn it, people!

Am I the only one here who's playing Resident Evil 3?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 15:34
I admit, the super vehicle idea is once again best-case scenario/built on for a couple years type thing. And at first I'd probably be aiming for something along those lines Whip. Pickup with large cab or bed cover, Van, SUV or anything with storage space to me is still a far better idea than just a motorcycle to me for longer trips than one tank of gas will cover. I still think it needs horsepower and height though. Being in a low to the ground car I just don't think is a good idea. Zombies piling themselves all-around on top of it just seems a far too likely scenario.

And no, I'm actually planning on sticking to the southwest regions of the US, Utah, Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico. Myriad of small towns and even the higher likelyhood of havens in that region since it would take a longer time for an infection to reach that area (unless that's where it starts, then I might consider the north into areas of low-population in Canada, assuming they haven't found a way to keep the infection from jumping the border and have it on lockdown).

And as far as modifications to the vehicle would go, I've learned from my dad and from classes when I was still in high school how to weld and build shit, with a good set of power tools and the right materials I could perform the necessary upgrades.

Anyone think it would be cool to set up a basic checklist of skills it would take for the average person to increase their chances of surviving the zombie apocalypse? Things like knowing how to hotwire a vehicle, basic vehicle upkeep, foraging skills, knowing how to shoot a gun etc.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 15:43
Not by bullets anyway. You stick a burning piece of petrol-soaked rag into on and it will.

Edit: I really really need to read the Zombie Survival Guide Damnit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 16:13
So Obsession, what is it you plan on having your magical motorcycle run on if not fuel? Motorcycles have great mileage, but they typically don't have gigantic gas tanks and sooner or later you need fuel or to abandon the thing entirely. Actually, their range is rather limited, come to think of it, and what does fuel economy matter if you're not paying for the gas and can load up a few loads of auxiliary cans and toss 'em in the flatbed? I totally understand how your plan is "Run away!" and "Continue to run away!", but I get kind of confused on how you're going to live off the land or whatever with a shitty handgun, a dirt bike and the experience of having shot a .357 at a can one time. Common sense ≠ Contingency plan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 16:19
Sunshine and farts.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 16:47
His plan isn't to run away, its to use a fast and manueverable mode of transportation over a relatively short distance (one tank of gas to get there) and then to hole up inside of a large building full of canned goods/dry foodstuffs and various other supplies. The plan has some merit to it like I've said before, and the few problems I see with it are really almost a matter of taste. If he can stand to be holed up in a place like that more power to him.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 01 Feb 2008, 18:06
I can't imagine I would be amazing at firing a gun, my hands shake like fuck at the best of times and unless I have my glasses I can't see that well at anything more than about 50m away. What I do know is that if I was to use a lightweight compound bow with a draw of at least 40lbs I can put an arrow through a bullseye at about 50m - 60m without being able to see clearly. Put a zoom site on that and it gets a bit further, otherwise if I'm wearing my glasses it would improve greatly. The biggest problem would be carrying and retrieving arrows. Obviously you would be able to get them back from anything you killed with the intention of eating it but otherwise you're probably going to want to have huge stockpile with you or learn how to make them.

Also, all you guys talking about how you are not in the best shape and how guns are heavy, the Zombiepocalypse is the best reason to start hitting the gym.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 01 Feb 2008, 18:47
I don't have great eyesight but I can see a zombie's head from 50m away and my hands are steady enough to do half-decent detail painting on small-scale model airplanes. That's all I need.

The question is, will I be able to maintain such a steady hand under pressure of having my brain eaten? Probably not. Instinct will probably take over and I'll just shoot at anything without being careful about aim.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 Feb 2008, 19:10
Not by bullets anyway. You stick a burning piece of petrol-soaked rag into on and it will.

Edit: I really really need to read the Zombie Survival Guide Damnit.
Ah, so they mention how there has to be the right fuel-air mix? That is why Molotovs work, you light the rag, the glass shatters and the flaming rag hits the fuel mixture. As I recall, the best mix is water bottles for naive people, instant oatmeal for "friends", and high-octane gasoline. But you don't want to be using flame against a zombie anyway.

See, I am planning that we would be taking my dad's big-ass truck, fill up the back with gasoline cans, guns, and ammo, head up into the mountains by the backroads. If we run into zombies, well, we can run into them, saving ammo. I mean really, which would you bet on winning, about five 150-250 pound zombies, or a truck that probably weighs about one ton and carrying  another 700 pounds or so of weight?

Pat has a good point about nerves, I could probably hit after a few shots, when I get over the initial shock, but as the only thing I have shot is an air rifle, I would really need to learn fast. We have guns, I just haven't ever shot them.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: negative creep on 01 Feb 2008, 20:02
I dodn't know about you guys, but i have absolutely no idea where to find any kind of gun. Let's say I get a 24 hour early warning before the zombie apocalypse reaches my twon. how the fuck am i supposed to get a fucking gun?
I think the fatal flaw in most of the plans i read in this thread is that they require equipment that is not available.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gemmwah on 01 Feb 2008, 20:14
This is a good point, and personally I don't see myself being able to acquire a gun either, due to the fact that there's nowhere around here that has any. Except maybe the convenience store, but i highly doubt it.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 20:18
I know my aim is damn good from shooting pellet rifles, air soft guns and paintball guns, but I've never fired a real gun that's powerful to kill something(or make it dead-er) before, and so along with recoil/getting used to feel and sound of it, I would also have to come to terms with the fact that the things I'm shooting used to be living human beings. The second part in itself I think will separate survivors from zombie food, and I hope that if the time comes I get into a real survival situation that I'll be able to react to it in the right way (this is indeed for any survival situation, not the fairy-tale zombocalypse) but the truth is noone knows which kind of person they are until they come face to face with that imminent choice between death and survival.

I'm not entirely convinced that flame wouldn't be good as a way of killing them, just not in a hand to hand combat situation. You can still reduced them to charred lumps of carbon givin the situation isn't dire, good for getting rid of those still twitchin bodyparts that can build up every now and again.

Also, admittedly I'm not in the best of shape, so I'm not a runner by any means, that's one of the reasons I would want a reliable form of transport with plenty of miles in it to get away from heavy populations. I am pretty strong though, and I'm confident in my abilty to swing a bludgeoning object at a zombie's head hard enough to knock it down/out of my way. And that's just also another argument to have a pistol rather than lugging around a heavy rifle or shotgun. I have been going to the gym this year, and been mainly working on the cardio and running machines, with some limited weight training.

(also, where do you find a gun? Have a fucking phonebook? Come on people, not rocket science. If you've got a 24 hour warning chances are gun stores will too, and I'm betting if that point comes they won't bother waiting for a background check. Worst comes to worst you break in somewhere after hours, so what if its a crime that can be traced back to you? The police will be much more worried about imminent zombie conflict)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Liz on 01 Feb 2008, 20:19
If I am at home when it happens, I will be set. We have a gun cabinet full of the good stuff, along with chansaws and hatchets and axes and pitchforks at sledgehammers and all the jazz in our shed.

If I am in Fargo at the time, I am screwed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gemmwah on 01 Feb 2008, 20:23
I live in the UK. Guns are Illegal. Not even regular Police Officers carry them.

Gun Stores?

The best I could do would be cycle to a nearby army base and try and steal one of the SA80's, although there's fat chance of that happening.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 20:28
Man, never has the American "right to bear arms" amendment sounded like such a good idea. Hate to say it but you're screwed. The UK is an overpopulated gunless island, it is possibly the worst possible place in the world to be when the zombie apocalypse happens.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 Feb 2008, 20:29
Well, here in Colorado, I am pretty sure you could get rifles in a 24 hour period. Actually, I am not sure how long the background check would take, but I don't think there is a waiting period here.

I know a place within a ten minute drive of my house that has guns and ammo, some sporting goods stores and wal-marts do as well. I don't think the store I mentioned has as many as I would want, but it has a good amount.

Of course, this is in one of the more gun-friendly areas in the USA, one of the more gun-friendly countries. Swiss people would probably do well against zombies, since so many homes have guns due to a militiaman living there. Course, he isn't allowed to use his issued ammo (which for some reason doesn't even amount to a full magazine), but he could have purchased more ammo and use that.

UK? You can own guns, they just have to be shotguns with a capacity of three or less, can't be a handgun, and I am not sure the regulations on rifles. Of course, not sure how long you would have to wait there.

edit: Boro, a scot I know has an uncle that runs a range of some sort, he ought to be one of the better off UK residents if the zombies come, though they live near glasgow, which could cause them trouble just from population.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Feb 2008, 20:31
I dodn't know about you guys, but i have absolutely no idea where to find any kind of gun. Let's say I get a 24 hour early warning before the zombie apocalypse reaches my twon. how the fuck am i supposed to get a fucking gun?
I think the fatal flaw in most of the plans i read in this thread is that they require equipment that is not available.

THANK YOU!!!

I'm not entirely convinced that flame wouldn't be good as a way of killing them, just not in a hand to hand combat situation. You can still reduced them to charred lumps of carbon givin the situation isn't dire, good for getting rid of those still twitchin bodyparts that can build up every now and again.

"The living dead have no fear of fire. Waving an open flame in a ghoul's face will do nothing to slow or impede its advance. Zombies who have caught fire will neither notice nor react to the engulfing flames in any way. Too many humans have met with tragedy for failing to understand that fire is no deterrent to zombies!"

Page 51, the Zombie Survival Guide. Fire can be useful for destroying the remains, but it is too difficult to control to ever be an effective weapon.

Quote
(also, where do you find a gun? Have a fucking phonebook? Come on people, not rocket science. If you've got a 24 hour warning chances are gun stores will too, and I'm betting if that point comes they won't bother waiting for a background check. Worst comes to worst you break in somewhere after hours, so what if its a crime that can be traced back to you? The police will be much more worried about imminent zombie conflict)

One thing you must note, Phil, is that America has some of the least strict gun laws in the world. It's not nearly as easy to get a hold of guns in most other nations. People in the UK, to my recollection, would have almost no chance of getting a hold of one for an outbreak. Guns are relatively hard to get a hold of. (Apparently, Gemm covered this as I was typing). Note, people, my advice and strategy is generally advisable techniques for your average person. Just about everything I've recommended is available at any department store. Zombie survival for the working class, folks.

Also, in reference to my earlier grenade remarks, I wasn't advocating their use. I was using intentional hyperbole to note how ineffective ANY weapon is unless you get a headshot off. No real legal and attainable firearms have the sheer force to kill a zombie without a headshot, so the difference between power in a handgun and sidearm starts to become negligible in any situation where shooting a zombie is the right move to begin with.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 01 Feb 2008, 20:35
Oh, I got it, you guys.

I'm going to get 10,000 grenades and put them in each zombie's mouth individually. One at a time.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 01 Feb 2008, 20:37
If I had 24 hours' notice I could go down the street, knock on somebody's door, and say "Hey do you guys have an AK-47 and some ammo I could have?" and they probably would. This is because the third world doesn't fuck around with the zombie threat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 01 Feb 2008, 20:42
Ha. The key of it all is the headshot.

Like I said on fire, not used in dire hand to hand combat situations. Given enough time though fire will destroy a zombie, it just has to burn for long enough. You light em on fire from a safe position, and watch as they don't notice themselves lumber around on flame until they're nothing more than a pile of charred bones.

And also, does the book note whether or not zombies can see? Take a blow torch to the face and the eyes will melt, making vision impossible. How effective a killer is a zombie whose mouth has been melted shut?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 Feb 2008, 20:44
Also, in reference to my earlier grenade remarks, I wasn't advocating their use. I was using intentional hyperbole to note how ineffective ANY weapon is unless you get a headshot off. No real legal and attainable firearms have the sheer force to kill a zombie without a headshot, so the difference between power in a handgun and sidearm starts to become negligible in any situation where shooting a zombie is the right move to begin with.
Really? It is possible to obtain grenade launchers, mortars, and MGs here. Each grenade would cost over $300, and would require you to fill out horrible paperwork, as would each mortar round, but an MG you would only have to pay the $300 once, along with the horrible cost of an MG, since supply is so much lower than demand.

Of course, for now, you are allowed to own whatever you want in most of the country, as long as you don't try to kill anyone with it.

Albania counts as third world? I didn't know that, course, I don't know anything about Albania.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 01 Feb 2008, 21:02
Ah well, I will still forever hate pistols. Hitting something that's moving when you're even a li'l excited is a bitch with one. People use rifles even for varmint hunting for a reason folks; there really is a combination of ergonomics, mental cues and flatter trajectory that shouldn't be underestimated. But anyway, yeah, obviously availability is the ultimate arbiter. Beyond a certain point you may as well suggest nuking the things from orbit, after all. And like I said, in my area you can purchase rifles/shotguns (but not handguns) with nothing but a FBI*NICS check, which basically means the only thing stopping you is a criminal record. That and I have like, 9 of them.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: negative creep on 01 Feb 2008, 21:39
seriously, there are NO gun stores within a radius of maybe 50km from where i live. And even if there were, they'd only sell guns that are basically harmless. what am i supposed to do, walk up to the army barracks and go like "HAI GUYS I CAN HAS ASSAULT RIFLEZ, PLZ?" yeah,... probably.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 Feb 2008, 21:59
It occurs to me that joining the military might be a good way to survive if you don't have any good weapons on your own, you get a lot of people with guns helping you, you get a lot of ammo, stockpiled supplies, and best of all, air support. Nothing like an A-10 rotary cannon for clearing out hordes of zombies. Or a 120mm cannon.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 01 Feb 2008, 22:27
I would love to employ that GAU-8 for any reason at all. Using a tank-killing gun on zombie hordes seems as good a reason as any. Seriously? The thing destroys T-72s and T-90s. If it can destroy a goddamn Russian main battle tank it can do plenty to stop a stampede of the undead.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 01 Feb 2008, 23:27
Albania counts as third world? I didn't know that, course, I don't know anything about Albania.

Well, it's by far the poorest country in Europe.

If you guys haven't you should really read World War Z. It's by the same guy who wrote the Zombie Survival Handbook. It's fiction, but it tells the stories of myriad people caught in this situation and, to me, provides a realistic portrait of what would happen to average people.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Cam on 02 Feb 2008, 00:18
Currently, I reside in a state where people just go shoot shit when they get bored.  I have two guns simply because it is what people do here and pretty much every one else I know owns a lot more then I do.  Once every one figured out what was going on, I am not sure how long the zombies would last.  A lot of the people around here would be running out and shooting them for fun while driving around in pick ups and drinking Bud Light.  Honestly, I would be more afraid of the humans. 

If I was to implement a plan based on the resources I have at home, I'd grab both my guns and I have about 500 rounds of ammo.  I keep ten gallons of water and canned food on hand just in case there is some sort of natural disaster.  So, I would put that in the car along with any tools, etc. and get out of the city.  I have some "friends" that are fucking survival nuts and have an insane amount of guns and a place that is easily defensible. 

Then, I'd just hunt and live off the land.

If you can survive the initial zombie onslaught, I think humans would end up being the biggest threat in the long run.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 00:52
Also, people: explosives will essentially do fuck all unless you're talking hopper mines at head-height. I shot that isn't a headshot is wasted ammo - so the main advantages of a tank would probably be the machine gun(s) and just crunching the zombies to a pulp, not the bigass cannon.
You heard the term "Pink mist"? a 120mm would do that to a clump of zombies easily, as would the GAU-8.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Feb 2008, 04:16
Actually, Albania is part of the second world. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_World)

Man whoever wrote that article apparently wasn't aware that Albania sided with the Chinese in that whole "Sup, Mao Zedong wants to be the leader of world communism" thing during Khrushchev's time in power. It is true that the nuclear subs down near Corfu are Russian in design and manufacture, but there was plenty of time between Russia's development of a shipborne reactor and the time of the communism leadership split.

Whatever the case, I am going to the U.S. Embassy to hang with the Marines, we are taking their weapons and armored vehicles down to Corfu, and we will be waiting there until somebody can come with that sub restoration gear.

Nodaisho is right about the GAU-8. Seriously? The recoil of that motherfucker is equal to the thrust of one of the two engines on the airplane it's mounted on. You're not going to find anything more perfectly suited for pink mist.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 04:26
Actually, I don't think it is quite that powerful, I am pretty sure I remember reading that was an urban legend. But still, that thing is a tank killer. It might not pink mist with one shot, but it fires at 3900 RPM, so it will have enough to do so on any given target. I guess usually, it does 3 to 1 incendiary to high explosive, but I think the high explosive would be big enough to blow apart a few zombies each, assuming a mass of them. And... while I am leery to overstate the capabilities of a gun, due to seeing it done frequently (no, the 5.56 doesn't "explode", the .45 won't knock someone flying, a handgun hole in an aircraft won't cause explosive decompression, and a .50 rifle will not shoot down an in-flight airplane from the ground), but I think that in some cases, the 30mm might actually tear a zombie in half, the part with arms would still crawl forward, but it would move even more slowly, and the incendiary would have even more time to do its pyromania-inducing work.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Feb 2008, 05:29
The urban legend was actually that the gun would stop the plane in mid-flight. That part is definitely crap. It does, however, equate ONE of the two engines, slowing it down pretty heavily. I'd be more concerned about the thing overheating than I'd be worried about being stopped by the recoil.

Seriously though? The sheer mass of those depleted uranium rounds from the GAU-8 are enough to destroy one of those battle tanks with about 20 rounds (about a millisecond burst, amirite).

We're talking about a goddamn 1.25" thick, 3" long piece of depleted uranium coming at you faster than the speed of sound. That and the fire rate doesn't make the gun go "BANGBANGBANG", it just makes it go "BVVVVVVVVDDVDVDVDVVVDVVDVDD" really freaking loudly. This thing is MORE than capable of putting a stop to zombie hordes of up to 3,000 with just one load of ammunition.

tl;dr if we can get hold of an Air Force base with A-10s when the zombiepocalypse hits, I got dibs on the first one. I don't have my pilot's license yet, but I've flown before, and I am more than certain I can get this thing off the ground and back on it safely while getting rid of some undead scum.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 05:43
You can have it, just don't scratch the paint, and try to remember which mass of people is us.

I call a good rifle with a scope, a pair of binoculars, and a lot of ammunition, I would just sit on top of the tallest building I could find. Probably a radio too, so I could call it in if I saw anything.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 09:01
I tell you man, the last people standing are going to be me and the rest of the vikings.

(http://www.waitakere.govt.nz/WhaHap/itc/images-summerslamz/2007/Re-enactment-soldiers.jpg)

We'll have a beer for you atop a mountain of corpses after we've cleansed the world.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 09:04
The mail is a good idea, as would be any armor that can protect from bites, and hopefully negate some impact from blows, but staying a long way away from the beings that are unable to use ranged weapons is always the best idea.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 09:11
No it's not. My axe doesn't run out of ammo. Using shield-wall tactics It would be possible to engage 10 times as many zombies as you had men in close combat and not even begin to worry. Chuck in a bit of modern spice to the skills and tactics we use, and we would be sorted.

Also, the major advantage of my plans: I am lying on my bed using my laptop and there is a round-shield, a battle axe, steel helmet, armoured gauntlets, vambraces etc. within four feet of me. I would need maybe an hours preparation to put the edge back on my axe, and then that would be it. I'm going to guess that none of you guys have an A-10 gunship in your garage, amirite?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 09:27
So how many vikings do you have? 10? That means you can take on a hundred or so zombies, right? What happens after that?

Your axe may not run out of ammo, but it gets a lot more tiring swinging one around than firing a gun, and if you run out of ammo, you made a mistake somewhere. Probably when you didn't deck yourself out with as much ammo as possible. Lets say you have an M4gery, the gun weighs 6.4 pounds loaded, each magazine weighs about a pound, you could probably carry around ten of them on a vest, if not more. That is a lot of shots, and if you run into zombies, your plan should be to fight your way back to safety, which is going to include even more ammo.

So, you are carrying about seventeen pounds plus the weight of the vest, probably just a pound or so, and the weight of whatever armor you are using, probably a thick coat and pants, one of those riot helmets would be awesome, but not likely to have on hand. So, less than 25 pounds, which is around what a highschool student carries around all day, and for students, the weight isn't distributed as well. How much does your gear weigh, and how long can you fight before exhaustion kicks in? Or before you slip up?

And you seem to be thinking that you can only be able to fight at close range or long range, you ever been hit upside the head by a rifle butt? Me neither, but I don't want to volunteer for the experience.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 02 Feb 2008, 10:04
Gah, getting hit by a rifle butt hurts like hell. I got hit in the back of the head by one three stooges style when my cousin was being careless (kid's a moron), and it still hurt. Anytime you're combining 5+ pounds of weight and some length it can only end in tears.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 10:30
My gear weighs around 15 pounds. I can fight for about five hours non-stop.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Feb 2008, 11:24
try to remember which mass of people is us.

Goddammit stop bunching.

That said, calling in air strikes is always good. Just remember to stay IN the base while I'm in the air and only call things in if there's a wall breach.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 02 Feb 2008, 12:49
Swiss people would probably do well against zombies, since so many homes have guns due to a militiaman living there. Course, he isn't allowed to use his issued ammo (which for some reason doesn't even amount to a full magazine), but he could have purchased more ammo and use that.
Apparently they have phased this out now, so not so much any more. They do have shelters they can hide in though, which is nice.

When it comes to Zombocalypse, I am basically screwed. I mean, Ireland has even fewer guns than Britain now (why did our paramilitary groups have to give up?) and I live right in the city centre. The house I live in is fairly solid and has a big metal door and grilles on the window, but still, that's not much help. I guess if I was in college I could possibly go down to the rifle club and load up on a few .22s, but bolt action rifles are basically not the best idea ever.
There is basically no plan that ends up in me getting out of this one alive. Holing up is probably my best idea.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 02 Feb 2008, 16:51
No it's not. My axe doesn't run out of ammo. Using shield-wall tactics It would be possible to engage 10 times as many zombies as you had men in close combat and not even begin to worry. Chuck in a bit of modern spice to the skills and tactics we use, and we would be sorted.


And how many blows would it take to incapacitate a zombie with a small headed axe? And with so many hits, it is very likely that you get the axe stuck eventually. A good broad short bladed weapon would be better in my opinion. Even so, doesn't a sheild wall rely on mostly thrusting attacks from the participants? You will break formation to make good chopping swings.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 02 Feb 2008, 17:05
And I wasn't even aware that Vikings practiced Shield Wall techniques, I thought that was the Romans/Greeks. Barbarians like the Vikings relied on sheer ferocity in combat didn't they? And vikings themselves remained raiders, quick in, quick out. Hardly steady line material.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 18:14
I'm sorry to be a dick, man, but I think I know perhaps a little more* about the military tactics of the dark ages than you do.


@LordNagash: it would take me about as many blows as it would take me to kill you: one.

(http://therionarms.com/reenact/therionarms_c401a.jpg)

I mean, it's not like zombies have a supernatural strength. They also don't stand properly. Pretty easy prospect for hand to hand combat, man.


*and by this I mean a lot more.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 02 Feb 2008, 19:01
I always thought that a really nice thing to get for myself someday is some layered monstrosity of kevlar over some lightweight chain mail. Ideally the kevlar will miraculously look like lovely tooled leather, although I guess I could like put a third layer of actual leather over the top; I just want to save some extra weight. This is a good reason to start saving up for it and working on it now.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 02 Feb 2008, 19:33
Uh, in all honesty, wouldn't something relatively light weight like a good high quality set of motocross or supermoto protective gear and leathers be best? It's not like they're going to swing at you with a battle axe; they're really only dangerous because a bite or bad cut could get you fatally infected and because they can come at you in mobs. If it's a mob you should just run like hell because they can't be intimidated and will dog pile you in a reckless charge. If it's an individual zombie you should still just keep your distance but if you have to engage it's bad luck and superficial wounds that's the biggest worry.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Feb 2008, 19:45
I always thought that a really nice thing to get for myself someday is some layered monstrosity of kevlar over some lightweight chain mail. Ideally the kevlar will miraculously look like lovely tooled leather, although I guess I could like put a third layer of actual leather over the top; I just want to save some extra weight. This is a good reason to start saving up for it and working on it now.

I would invest in a multi-layered protective suit, yes, but it would be more along the lines of a spandex bodysuit, some fireproofed material, thin leather covering, chainmail, and a layer of slippery rubberized spandex on top so that they can't grab you as easily. All this, some melee gear, and a full-face motorcycle helmet, and you'd probably have a half-decent "In case of emergency supply runs" suit.

I would invest in a good respirator as well, god knows what those bastard zombies are coughing up.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 02 Feb 2008, 20:04
AKA racing gear! I'm telling you Jong, you basically just described a supermoto pressure suit worn under a smooth motorcycle jacket, just without the chainmail. Anyway, I think the big thing is sturdy clothing with as little exposed flesh as possible. If you get bit you get bit, but it'd suck to get infected just because one got their grimey filthy nails on you in the struggle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 02 Feb 2008, 20:09
Man, those supposedly lightweight suits are sounding heavy to me.

And Khar, while my particular strength of knowledge might not be in the Vikings themselves, when I was in high school Medieval and Dark Ages warfare was a hobby and fascination of mine, specifically the evolution of ballistics but really all of it was my bread and butter. While not the most reliable sources, I played Warhammer miniatures (of which several of the "races" mirrored Dark Age soldiers.My major in college was History until I switched to Film. I took lessons in Japanese swordsmanship for two years from a man who looked very much likea younger Chuck Norris and who never failed to scare me as well as an ageing sensei from Japan who was flown over 4 times a year to teach classes for a week. I participated in a Medieval Jousting and swordfighting reenactment group for about 4 years in junior high and high school and in an AMTguard group (admittedly pulling away from the historical). I learned how to make chainmail for chrissakes. Not to sound like a dick since I don't know specifically how old you are in comparison to me or what your education was is/in but you've got to give me some level of credit as to what you think I know or don't know.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 20:20
If you actually knew anything relevant, then you would know the vikings fought in shield walls.

I mean, very nice dick-wagging and all, but all you've told me is that you know a lot more about other periods of history and that one of your sources for information on the dark ages is Warhammer. It also makes you look even dumber because you are simply wrong.

http://www.vikingsonline.org.uk/resources/articles/combat.htm

"The Shieldwall - Once battle was joined, each side would form a line of warriors, perhaps several deep, formed into the "shield wall". Each warrior overlaps his shield on both sides, presenting a wall which is strong enough to stop a rushing opponent from penetrating."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shield_wall

"The shield wall was commonly used during the 8th and 9th Century by Vikings, and by Anglo-Saxons from kingdoms such as Mercia, Wessex, and Northumbria."

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/echoblue/Theshieldwall.htm

"A main part of the military tactics used by the Vikings, among others, was the use of Shield Walls to provide cover for advancing and defending troops. "

http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/W/weapons/shield2.html

"On hearing Alfred's approach Guthrum ordered his men to form a shield wall."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Stamford_Bridge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Stamford_Bridge)

"The Vikings who were without armour locked their shields together to form a wall. The Saxons copied the tactic and rushed the Viking army."

It looks kinda like this:

(http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/upload/img_400/Vikings_-_Shield_Wall_72dpi.jpg)

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 02 Feb 2008, 20:53
Very Well done sir.  You've successfully knowledged me to death. I fully concede the point to you. I did say that I basically knew jack about the vikings and their tactics in particular. Those shields are still not protecting the heads and/or feet, a zombie fallen to the ground becomes an anklebiter and a press of creatures who can't feel pain makes it hard to swing swords or axes in melee combat than against other guys who are trying to stay that distance away from you. You're right, zombies aren't superhuman, and by themselves aren't much of a threat unless you're careless/totally unarmed. The point of zombies is the sheer mass of numbers that make them dangerous and I still say that you're shield wall would be far less effective than you think.

Edit: Also, going through the first article and reading on shield walls, they weren't meant to last the entire battle anyway,

"From behind this wall the warriors would absorb the initial charge, and then loosen slightly to fight individual battles and small melees."

"With men standing so close and in several ranks, movement was limited, and even highly trained warriors would find it difficult to manoeuver quickly on the battlefield. As a result, outflanking moves were common"

Now I know zombies aren't the speediest suckers, what with the shambling and all but given their tendency to operate in sheer numbers a small group of ten or twelve Viking warrior regalia-clad men would still find an incredibly hard time of it to hold the line and keep them from overwhelming the flanks. Ways to prevent this I guess are finding a bottleneck to force the zombies coming at you through, and in a good area you could hold for quite some time. But zombies never get tired, people do. I'm still doubting you'd be able to swing an axe with enough force to cause a killing blow to a zombie's head for even five hours straight, hell, even an hour of just non-stop death dealing.

From the Wikipedia article:
"The shield would likely have pressed against the body with the sheer force, requiring the second rank to do most of the fighting over the shoulder of the first rank with longer weapons aiming for the heads of the front ranks of the opponent."

With only ten or so warriors, that means reducing your front row to five men, since the sheer press of weight would almost certainly come to this.

"The shield wall proved superior to troops in no formation but generally had many disadvantages: it was unmanageable, and the troops were so tightly packed they had difficulty looking down, so the advancing shield wall would stumble on the corpses. The flanks of the shield wall were especially vulnerable so a smaller army would have to spread its troops thinner to prevent immediate outflanking. The shield wall did not work well in woodland areas "

More with the outflanking.

"The powerful weapons of the time, like big swords and axes, were too big to swing, so the more effective weapons were short swords maybe a foot long which could be stabbed under the opponent's shield into his groin or leg. This led a lot of professional warriors in Alfred the Great's army to carry two swords."

Foot and leg hits aren't going to do dick to a zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 02 Feb 2008, 20:58
Boro I think that problem can be solved if can manage to acquire riot shields. I mean, your feet would still be open, but it would provide far more protection than a round shield would, and I highly doubt zombies will be smart enough to realize that they can bite your feet. Zombies seem to want to bite the most accessible point, usually the neck. If you really are worried though, wouldn't really thick boots do the trick?

Also, sorry if I'm being a complete tard with this one, but wouldn't a shield wall be far more effective with spears/lances/the sort instead of swords and axes?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 21:08
Well, the zombies that can't stand wouldn't be going for the neck, they would be going for whatever is closest, legs. If you could get a tower shield or something, that would be better. I still maintain that anyone whose primary plan of battle is to get in as close as they can to zombies is not thinking right, neither is someone who doesn't have a way to fight close-up if they have to.

A polearm wall would be effective, but I think the zombies would keep pulling themselves towards you if you didn't hit them in the head, unless you had something at the base of the blade that made that impossible, and it would be awkward to hit them in the head. I haven't ever used a spear, so I could be wrong, but it seems like it would be difficult to aim one one-handed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 02 Feb 2008, 21:10
so wait, zombies are slower and more stupid than human beings, so we beat them by reverting to axes and clubs and viking tactics? It would seem to me that most weapon advances are as a result of the human mind constantly being able to invent new and innovative ways to kill people with available technology. If zombies are less threatening than humans, shouldn't our modern weapons be even more effective against them?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 02 Feb 2008, 21:23
I plan to get really fat so when I do get bitten I am a mega-zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 21:37
No, because our modern weaponry is designed to fight modern threats: mechanised armies and guerillas. Just the fact that zombies completely ignore the psychological aspects of modern weaponry is bad enough. There's no way to use suppressing fire on zombies. You can't target their supply lines or plan surgical strikes on their commanders. Zombies won't take cover from a sniper, they will march towards him until his bullets run out.

In a proper shield wall, spearmen fight over (and, some of the sneakier ones, under) the front rank, who historically would have been armed mainly with axes. A spear of any significant length (viking spears were about the height of the man who wielded them, though they could be considerably longer) is incredibly hard to use one-handed because of simple mechanics: it's really easy for the enemy just to swat it away. Shield walls historically would have broken or reformed multiple times. Generally, whichever force had the high ground, or the sun behind them, would sit still and wait for the enemy to charge them in their own shield wall or boar snout formation, though sometimes both forces would just go for it. Two things could then happen, either the attackers would batter themselves upon the wall and then retreat, or the attackers would breach the wall, splitting it into two or more halves. This might end up in individual combat, either with the remains of the wall or with skirmishers behind, or a quick commander might re-form a new shield wall further back, or wheel in reserves to try and cap the breach. I think your mental block about the usefulness of the concept against zombies stems from the idea that a shield wall is a static formation (and also maybe from the idea there's only ten guys involved). Actually, shield walls are highly mobile. Small walls can turn very quickly to prevent outflanking. Men in a shield wall can wheel and about face pretty easily if they have the knack of it, or even form squares to counter a cavalry charge. I wasn't imagining just sitting still and taking on swarms of zombies, but quick, unified movement through urban areas.

And of course, as historical authenticity is not a problem in such a scenario, I imagine there'd be a lot of variation in equipment and clothing turning up.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 21:51
By the time you run out of bullets with a good rifle, you ought to have taken out more than a hundred zombies, then you retreat back to wherever you have supplies. You don't run out of ammo if you don't have a back-up though, you save a good amount of ammo for going back in case you run into trouble.

Your whole argument about how zombies have no psychology is a red herring, that has nothing to do with how effective modern weapons are at killing.

You yourself admitted that shield walls get broken, after that happens, you are in a bit of trouble, aren't you?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 02 Feb 2008, 21:53
That's a good point, but remember to be careful when dealing with issues of advanced tactics beyond yelling out at the rag-tag gang of survivors with equally eccentric equipment involved, that you're talking about doing things that take hundreds of hours of drilling to be able to do so with great efficiency and skill of motion. You're relying heavily on the idea of having several equally well-trained people fighting alongside you who know how you run your tactics.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 02 Feb 2008, 22:00
@Nodaisho: Not really man, it takes another shield wall or massed arrow fire to break a shield wall. Not randomly clawing, shambling, ill-balanced undead.

How much ammo do you have? Where are your supply depots going to be? How do you plan on keeping them secure? What do you do when your gun jams, when you run out of gun oil and the bolt locks up, if it breaks, if it rusts, if it gets wet?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 22:16
Now, I don't have any yet, so as of now, unless I could buy some stuff quickly (I think I can, though I need to look up the state laws), I would be pretty much screwed, but it isn't uncommon to have thousands of rounds of ammunition, especially when you are shooting milsurp ammunition, since that frequently comes in batches of a thousand. Supply depots would be at wherever I am based at (someplace defendable in the middle of nowhere), and in whatever I am using for transportation. When your gun jams, you clear the jam, not all that difficult, it is one of the basic things to know how to do, and even the M4, known for a somewhat exaggerated unreliability, only jammed one in six hundred shots while in a heavy dust storm. That is twice what people carry around when they are expecting to be fighting, and a jam can be cleared in a few seconds. By the time I run out of cleaning materials, your axe blade would have been worn away completely. If it breaks? Well, that is somewhat broad, but in general, you retreat using your back up and go back to repair whatever needs repairing, though for parts to wear out on a good gun takes... upwards of 30,000 rounds, I would say, and that is on the low end. Stainless steel, aluminum, and polymer don't rust, wood warps somewhat, but only if you don't take care of it. You are reaching for stuff, aren't you? If it gets wet? All right, you don't have to explain, I understand you don't know what you are talking about. If it gets wet, you keep shooting, a gun isn't going to stop working because of a light drizzle.

Also, you aren't likely to run out of ammunition unless you are going out and picking fights, what you should be doing is going in and out, grabbing supplies and leaving, the only time you would be sitting there shooting at zombies would be when you are holding them off, buying time, or when there are just a few attacking wherever you are.

But what about you? What happens when someone slips and falls?  What happens when an axe gets stuck in a zombie skull? What happens when someone else gets tired faster than you?

edit: Boro, who were you addressing that to, him or me?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Feb 2008, 22:33
so wait, zombies are slower and more stupid than human beings, so we beat them by reverting to axes and clubs and viking tactics? It would seem to me that most weapon advances are as a result of the human mind constantly being able to invent new and innovative ways to kill people with available technology. If zombies are less threatening than humans, shouldn't our modern weapons be even more effective against them?

All our talk about guns has been either intentional jackassery or last resort, quick solution tactics. At least, that's how it is on my part. You ARE going to run out of ammo at some point.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 22:46
By then, you will hopefully have gotten your hands on something like a bow and gotten good with it, and learned how to make good arrows for it. I would also suggest getting something like ziploc bags, and attaching them so they catch the ejecting brass, because your average looter with a gun isn't going to go for the reloading supplies, he is going to go for the pre-made ammo, and you can roll your own to be much more accurate than even high quality ammo.

For me, I am seeing the goal as surviving while the zombies are still around, not hunting them down. For that purpose, a gun should do just fine, especially if you are out where you can hunt for food. In that case, you would want to loot some cans for your guns, drops the noise down to 50 decibels rather than 150+. Of course, the bow would be even quieter, and possibly retrievable, but until you get good with it, you wouldn't use it. Suppressors are good no matter what, actually, even a .22 repeatedly fired can cause hearing damage over time.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 02 Feb 2008, 22:52
Obviously you have to destroy the brain of the zombie to kill it but if you damage the spinal column would it be paralysed? Or is there some magic that keeps the signals flowing from the brain to the rest of the body?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 Feb 2008, 23:03
Not sure, but if you were to damage it below where the nerves from the arms connect to the spinal cord, they could still use their arms, and would crawl at you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 03 Feb 2008, 00:10
Depending on how much flesh has rotted away from the zombie's body by the time it's reanimated, you may or may not get a good spinal cord shot. I mean, how many people on earth, even specially trained snipers, are such perfect shots that they can hit a spinal cord sized target?

Srsly, if the flashback sniper mission on COD4 is any indicator of just how difficult it is to aim from a distance (with wind and Coriolis effect and all), you ain't gonna be hitting SHIT.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 03 Feb 2008, 00:25
Nodaisho. I wish I could be there when you get ate because of gung-ho dickwaving I MUNNA SHOOT THE DANGED Ol' ZOMBIES HURR HURR HURR HURR.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 Feb 2008, 00:46
Depending on how much flesh has rotted away from the zombie's body by the time it's reanimated, you may or may not get a good spinal cord shot. I mean, how many people on earth, even specially trained snipers, are such perfect shots that they can hit a spinal cord sized target?

Srsly, if the flashback sniper mission on COD4 is any indicator of just how difficult it is to aim from a distance (with wind and Coriolis effect and all), you ain't gonna be hitting SHIT.

Note the range that you were shooting at: Over a mile, as I recall. Normal people shoot out to 600 yards just fine, granted, that is a body shot, but that is also with irons, a good optic on top will make it better, and with the terrain out here, you will be within 600 yards and still have to walk a lot more than 600 yards, and zombies are clumsy, I wouldn't be surprised to see them slip and fall trying to walk up shale rather than go around.

Ozymandias: I wish I could be there when you learn some fucking reading comprehension. Seriously, throughout the thread, I have said that you aren't trying to kill them all, you are just trying to survive, and the best way to do that is to stay away from them. Shooting is what happens when something goes wrong. Fighting hand to hand is what happens when something goes even more wrong.

edit: Realized I didn't cover all of Pat's points, you wouldn't be aiming for the spinal cord, you would be aiming for the head, because the speed would cause shock to the tissue, stretching it and messing it up bad, most tissue is resistant to damage from stretching like that, but nervous tissue isn't. A head is about a 4 or five inch square target, right? So... with a good rifle, if you are a good shot, and have good ammo, you should be able to make it out around 600m, but as I am, I couldn't make a shot like that. Someone that is a decent shot could, and I could with practice, but I couldn't do so immediately. However, I also couldn't kill zombies hand to hand well immediately, and it is not nearly as bad to miss a shot at a few hundred meters as it is to not dodge a zombie grabbing you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 03 Feb 2008, 00:58
I've just got this image of him now, with jewellers glasses on, carefully sticking new percussion caps in some spent cartridges, whilst hundreds of zombies claw at the walls.

He finishes a bullet, he carefully loads it into a gun. He walks over to the window. He shoots a single zombie. He returns to the workbench.


Seriously, dude, the thing is, I'm not going to be taking on groups of hundreds of zombies. Not deliberately. The shield wall is for steady, safe urban and suburban movement, not rolling up swarms.

And dude, I've used guns. I know how to clear a jam. I also know that if there was a group of ten zombies ten feet away and all I had to defend myself was a rifle that the last thing I would want is one. I've used them enough to know that the kind of reliability you're claiming for them is insane in post-apocalyptic conditions. Those figures may be accurate for guns that are kept in good, constant conditions and regularly maintained. But fuck man. That is not the zombie apocalypse. I actually feel kind of sorry for you if this situation does actually occur. I'll be prepared to admit that my experiences could be coloured by having used British weapons, which are likely to be older and maybe less well made than the guns you have access to in freedom eagle land (I'm guessing you're American because of the enormous boner you have for firearms) but only to a certain degree. Guns are delicate machines, and the more modern they are (thus better made, with more synthetic materials, less chance of mechanical faults, etc.) the harder it will be to repair. And drizzle? Boy, it's the zombocalypse. Cities are burning. Nuclear power plant safety technicians are away from their consoles eating your grandma. oil tanker crews are dead at the wheel. Pipelines are filling refineries till they burst. Seriously, light drizzle is probably the last of your worries. Weeks of acid rain leading into a mini nuclear winter? That's more like it.

Also, er, I hate to break it to you, but stainless steel does rust. Especially stainless steel exposed to constant mechanical wear. The chromium forms a protective passivation layer, but rust can still get underneath that, unless the steel is regularly cleaned and polished. It feels kinda like telling a kid there's no father christmas, but there you go.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 03 Feb 2008, 01:09
Noddy, good luck.

I don't know how you're going to stay away from zombies with all of the ammo and ammo making supplies and military grade rifle and blah blah blah blah blah because any "base" you've managed to set up to do this in is a death trap, if not from zombies, from dehydration and starvation.

But good luck.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 Feb 2008, 01:29
@Khar

Hows this then? It doesn't rust when you take care of it, and you have to take care of it less than normal metals? Come to think of it, after about 20 years of neglect, my dad's guitar strings did rust, but they still played fine for a while when I hadn't noticed the rust.

A good reloading press will crank ammo out pretty quickly, though I don't have any precise numbers on me.

How many times do I have to say that I am not planning on trying to kill them all? Stop putting up that damn straw man.

Sure, I wouldn't want a jam either, and if I got one with zombies close, I would probably use a sidearm instead, hopefully I would be good enough with it to buy myself enough time to clear the jam.

Some british weapons are apparently the creme de la creme of weapons that are legal in britain, course those are custom hand-made engraved double-guns, not the kind you would be looking for in a zombocalypse. For what they are though, I don't see any reason to assume that they are worse than your average gun of that kind.

You said that the gun didn't work when it got wet, the drizzle comment was intended to say what a stupid idea I thought that was. I am not going to discuss how the weather would be, as I don't really know, but I do know that the closest nuclear power plant is on the far end of Kansas, maybe... 500 or more miles away? And the closest one to the northwest, which is where the weather always comes from, is in Southeast WA. And since I live in a desert, due to the west side of the mountains catching most of the rain, I would say I am pretty well off as far as the acid rain thing goes.

I really don't see why you think that keeping weapons in good condition would be so impossible, it isn't like you are constantly going to be shooting and can't take the time for basic maintenance. Sure, a semi would be more difficult to maintain than a bolt or lever, since there is more things to go wrong with a semi, but it wouldn't be impossible, and like I have repeatedly said, while you all ignore me, I don't plan on looking for trouble, which should give me plenty of time to keep gear in good shape.

Oh, and while I thank you for noticing that I get big boners, it isn't for firearms, not even for pyrotechnics, just for females. And music. And guitars. And stop looking at me while I am naked dammit!

edit: @Oz

Stay away? That is easy, carry most of the stuff in the truck, a base would be an area out in the mountains, you get food walking around, at least for a while, and there are huge patches of land with less than one person per square mile, which means less zombies.

And how do you propose to survive, may I ask? You are all too eager to criticize my ideas, why not put out some of your own?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 03 Feb 2008, 01:35
I always thought that a really nice thing to get for myself someday is some layered monstrosity of kevlar over some lightweight chain mail. Ideally the kevlar will miraculously look like lovely tooled leather, although I guess I could like put a third layer of actual leather over the top; I just want to save some extra weight. This is a good reason to start saving up for it and working on it now.

I would invest in a multi-layered protective suit, yes, but it would be more along the lines of a spandex bodysuit, some fireproofed material, thin leather covering, chainmail, and a layer of slippery rubberized spandex on top so that they can't grab you as easily. All this, some melee gear, and a full-face motorcycle helmet, and you'd probably have a half-decent "In case of emergency supply runs" suit.

I would invest in a good respirator as well, god knows what those bastard zombies are coughing up.

I just meant in general, because when I thought of it I wasn't really thinking of zombies. But the kevlar will stop bullets and the chain mail will stop knives and arrows and that is what I was going with. Replacing the kevlar with some biking leather might be alright, or maybe some really stiff shit, I dunno, because it would stop bites and whatever, but in that case so would the chain mail, and at that point if I ever got into conflict with some other party of survivors neither would help me against bullets.


Dude, Nodaisho, he already did offer suggestions. The shield wall thing was for navigation between supply sources in urban areas where zombies are concentrated heavily. Pay attention, dude!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 Feb 2008, 01:40
He can ignore what I post, I can ignore what he posts. Besides, that is only his plan for fighting, what does he plan to do when they get tired? Where do they rest?

The kevlar is actually a good idea, in case you run into some live people that decide you don't need your supplies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 03 Feb 2008, 01:52
Dude if you are ignoring what he posts and yet still asking for a response, what the fuck are you doing in this thread.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 Feb 2008, 01:57
I was asking for his plans other than the shield wall, actually, and for Ozy's plans, since he seems oh so eager to criticize mine. Perhaps his plans were stated in one of the posts further back in the thread that I hadn't seen?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 03 Feb 2008, 02:00
I have decided that my back-up plan involves one of these.

(http://host.trivialbeing.org/up/small/weta-warthog-halo.jpg)


I dunno how I plan to acquire one, or where or anything, but it is involved.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 Feb 2008, 02:03
That is badass, I have to admit, but I would rather have a humvee, Scorpion, going with the Halo theme. You never run out of ammo, and you can mow like no tomorrow.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: simplename9 on 03 Feb 2008, 05:33
That picture was my wallpaper for a long time and I always wondered where I can get one. If you ever happen find out you should definitely spread the word.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: McTaggart on 03 Feb 2008, 05:50
It's really wierd how when people see cool shit that someone's made they always go 'where can I buy one' instead of 'how can I make one of those'.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 03 Feb 2008, 07:01
@KharBevNor
I think it would be substantially easier to kill me than a zombie if we were both standing still letting you hit us. Shock+bloodloss will kill me even if the hit was not instantly lethal. Mostly I just wonder why you want the axe over a sword? Are you just more familiar with axes and axe combat?

@others
As for armor, I would probably not invest too much into it if I did not have a group of fighters with me. It would slow me down and avoiding zombies is pretty much #1 priority.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: CmonMiracle on 03 Feb 2008, 09:20
Can't I buy a three foot wide laser?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 03 Feb 2008, 09:55
A lot of swords are designed for stabbing, which is pretty useless against zombies. Viking swords are good at hacking, but still, if you really just want to split something open, an axehead with some weight behind it is the way to go. Besides, I'd rather train with an axe since they're easier to find and replace. After all, they may not be designed as carefully balanced weapons of war, but I'd sure as hell rather rely on a good log splitter or hatchet with a fiber glass handle I found at Ace Hardware than some novelty wallhanger sword from some goofy catalog. If you can find a good sword, more power to you, but I myself won't be betting on it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 11:37
@ Nodashio - Dude, you're doing it wrong. He, in matter of fact, offered his plan earlier in the thread (which is kinda shitty, and he acknowledges that). If you actually cared enough, maybe you should read the topic before saying shit like that.

Plus, your plan of going into the mountains forces you to stay in one spot. That is very bad.

Not that my plan is much better though. I have to get out of a highly populated suburban area, which is gonna be impossible unless I can sneak out by some unknown force of nature or get a motorcycle and high-tail it the fuck outta there. Even if I accomplished that though, I'd still be fucked since I have no survival skills whatsoever. Also, the only weapon I have access to is an old (probably dull) camping ax in my basement. Basically, I'll be the fucker trying to eat your brains out if/when the zombie apocalypse happens.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 03 Feb 2008, 13:34
@Whipstitch
Most swords were designed for cutting and thrusting. I can only think of the rapier and its ilk as used mainly for thrusting. As for axes, a hatched or other wood axe is very different than a war axe. They would be like hunting with a handgun, its possible, but not very practical. War axes were very carefully designed weapons of war.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 13:36
larger swords are slashing weapons, really intended for body/arm/leg hits. Short swords are stabbing weapons which are useless. Both are extremely hard to just hack into the top of a skull, which is what's required in the shield wall. Axes are heavy hacking weapons designed for this. You can separate the head from the body using a longer sword, but it takes a wide and powerful side arch that just isn't possible in the shield wall. He is better off with an axe.

Also, unless you're like me and have spent hundreds of dollars on a properly made sword (mine is a 160x folded steel katana, perfectly combat worthy, not the best quality by any means though, master swordsmiths would fold swords thousands of times for the wealthy/generals ) by some blacksmith somewhere who does it the proper traditional way, you're going to get crap for quality. Most of the "swords" you see in kinfe stores and display cases are pressed or molded steel, which while not weak could be shattered by a powerful swing from mine, they would chip quickly and wouldn't hold up to long combat stresses.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 03 Feb 2008, 14:00
Like Bandito said; unless the sword is pretty long, it's designed at least in part to be a stabbing weapon. A gladius, for example, was for stabbing, and it's debated to this day whether the spatha was used primarily for slashing or stabbing. I never claimed that a log splitting axe is as good as a quality bearded axe, but at least it'd be very, very durable since it's a lot cheaper to make a solid axe head than a fine blade. I also think you're overestimating the quality of a lot of axes used around the world for combat as well; axes were popular because they got the job done and it was cheaper to make a sturdy axe than a sturdy sword. By Viking times if you had the money for a truly excelllent axe you likely considered getting a sword instead since they were also popular as status symbols. Anyway, as I said before, my primary requirements are "Can I find a quality example within a very short drive from my home?" I'd rather have a halfway decent axe that can double as a tool than a baseball bat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 14:44
We've got a grinding wheel in the backyard and many different tools, hatchets, axes, etc. I also have some baseball bats and in general I think we're set for farmyard melee weapons.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 03 Feb 2008, 14:58
I was just looking around my bedroom, guys, and I realised that I am sorely unprepared.


I need to go shopping shit shit shit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Trollstormur on 03 Feb 2008, 15:10
i'd stake my life on a claw hammer before a sword in a zombie outbreak.

when i get a few, I'll take some pictures of what I have for zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spinless on 03 Feb 2008, 15:31
Clearly, the best thing to wear in a zombie outbreak is the Batsuit seen in Batman Begins. Has anybody mentioned this yet?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 03 Feb 2008, 15:42
As far as location, I really think Alaska would be the safest place to go. The population is thin enough that, as long as you stay away from the major urban areas (all 3 of them), encounters with humans, and by extension, with zombies, would be pretty low. As long as you could find shelter, it would be perfect, particularly during winter. The zombies obviously wouldn't die from the cold, but they would be frozen solid until the warmth of the 23-hour-summer sun thaws them. During the period between the darkest days of winter and the onset of summer, you could go out with a simple pickaxe and kill a good number of the frozen zombies around your immediate area without any fear of running into danger. If you had some food and a mode of transport for the summer, you'd be all set.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 15:53
RedLion, how exactly do you plan on keeping warm?

I'm all for going north. Having zombies frozen is lovely. However, this is a post-apocalyptic world we are talking about. Unless you're prepared to start living like the Eskimos, Alaska does not sound like a very good idea. And I doubt many people are prepared to live like Eskimos.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spinless on 03 Feb 2008, 16:15
As far as location, I really think Alaska would be the safest place to go. The population is thin enough that, as long as you stay away from the major urban areas (all 3 of them), encounters with humans, and by extension, with zombies, would be pretty low. As long as you could find shelter, it would be perfect, particularly during winter. The zombies obviously wouldn't die from the cold, but they would be frozen solid until the warmth of the 23-hour-summer sun thaws them. During the period between the darkest days of winter and the onset of summer, you could go out with a simple pickaxe and kill a good number of the frozen zombies around your immediate area without any fear of running into danger. If you had some food and a mode of transport for the summer, you'd be all set.

The freezing process would destroy the brain. After thawing, those zombies wouldn't get up again.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 17:54
Hell, who's to say that freezing a zombie brain kills it? Their brains are already reanimated mush, who's to say the virus couldn't spring back out of dormancy and reconstruct enough of the brain to get that zombie's mushy ass back off of the ground?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Chrasstor on 03 Feb 2008, 18:10
Don't be ridiculous. These are zombies Phil, not magical fairy unicorns.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 18:13
I'm pretty sure that the freezing of the brain would be a fatal (re-fatal?) blow to the zombie. The general consensus is that the zombie pretty much just needs the brain and nervous system in functioning order to do it's dirty work. But if the brain is fully destroyed, by whatever means, the zombie becomes incapacitated.

I mean, zombie's don't regain partial brain function after taking a head shot. They die... again. If the virus can't work after one form of brain damage, I don't see why it should work after a different, but equally fatal type of brain damage.

@ Chrasstor: We must be ridiculous with this matter! There has never been any recorded case of zombies, so we really don't know what they can and can't do. Therefore, we should go over as many situations as we can, no matter how ridiculous, to ensure the greatest survival potential. Zombies are serious business!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Chrasstor on 03 Feb 2008, 18:20
You're all going to get eaten in the end, anyway...

Didn't you see the movies...?










!NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR OUR WRATH!
(http://www.waytoblue.com/media/image/Shaun_of_the_Dead_Zombies.gif)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 18:27
There are twins in the first row with matching outfits!

Adorable!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: negative creep on 03 Feb 2008, 18:50
One thing I still don't get is: If zombies eat people's brains, how do people who get bitten by zombies turn into zombies themselves if they don't have a brain anymore? They'd be dead from the start and not able to function as a normal zombie, right?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 19:12
They don't, the people who get their brains eaten usually get the rest of them eaten to. The creation of zombies is mostly from those that aren't initially killed and eaten, but rather bitten and infected and allowed to turn into zombies later.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 03 Feb 2008, 19:16
Well then why are there so many of them? Why does an entire town get turned into zombies, rather than a handful of zombies and everyone else is eaten?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 19:21
Because people don't turn into zombies immediately to start. A zombie infection for the most part remains a mystery to everyone involved until half of the population is already affected by some means.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 19:30
I dunno, Joe's scenario could be true. I actually think that is entirely plausible. Zombie's have been known to eat brains. Who's to say that they don't infect one person and then eat the next one?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 03 Feb 2008, 19:33
Who's to say any of the infections are intentional? I mean, why would you WANT competition for food? That is why I'm never having kids.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 03 Feb 2008, 19:36
Silly, kids aren't competition for food, they're a source of cheap labor.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 03 Feb 2008, 20:25
Ok, so.  I've just read this entire thread because guess who bought "Dead Rising" yesterday and is suddenly interested in zombies again?

Now, while I realise that a video game is no real basis for speculation regarding actions to take in the event of a zombie outbreak it has made me think about a bunch of stuff I would otherwise not have thought about.

For one, the idea of staying in one spot has always had some merit to me.  Until last night.  The longer you stay in one spot the more chance there is of attracting a lot of zombies to your general vicinity.  Zombies are stupid and take a while to realise what's up, but they do eventually realise that those banging/crashing sounds are probably something they're interested in and shuffle toward your general vicinity.

Another thing that you guys only seem to be touching on lightly here is protecting yourself against other people.  Last night I was happily cutting a swathe through shambolic hordes with a bowling ball (not advised as an actual weapon) when I came across 3 fucking escaped convicts in an army jeep with a goddamned m-60 mounted on the back chasing down survivors so that they could murder/rape them.  What I am saying, I guess is that in addition to preparing yourself to stave off the odd zombie attack and keep running you should also think for a second what you would do if you encountered a gang of militia hell-bent on killing everyone and taking their shit in order to increase their own chances of survival.  Think Mad Max + zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 03 Feb 2008, 21:02
So it looks like no matter what, being stealthy and low-key is a good skill to have. I'm in fine shape, then.

Katie, the only real problem with the kevlar bodysuit? To have kevlar that is thick enough to stop bullets, it's going to be heavier than everliving fuck. It's good to have that lightweight mail backing, for sure, because that will certainly stop a knife. But a full bulletproof kevlar bodysuit is going to be absurdly heavy. Just a bulletproof vest is a good 20lbs, and that's 20lbs of survival gear you could be carrying with you.

One thing that I plan to do is to find my way up to Sitka, AK again. Alaska really IS the best place to go for all-out survival mode. I say Sitka because the only way to get there is by boat or plane, and there are plenty of people there who I know are good hunters and fishermen. I also know the lay of the general surrounding area really well, and god knows there's plenty of guns and ammunition in Sitka to supply a small army. The city's economy is geared toward fishing tourism, and so there are outdoor supply shops in ABUNDANCE. Clothing and weaponry are NOT going to be an issue. All of this and the fact that the town itself only takes up 1% of the island's land area make it a PERFECT place to be.

I already know a bunch of places where there will be room to stay in that kind of emergency situation, so a lot of you would probably be able to come up and be spared.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 21:06
Yeah, I still haven't beat Dead Rising. I get to a part later on that let's just say is hard, and  tick tick tick timed. Plus until I got my 40 inch HDTV it is hard as shit to read the fucking tiny ass print in that game. I should beat it now though, while I'm preparing for the zombocalypse.

I love the crazies in that game though, and it brings up the point in both mine and Jon's plans that may not make the most sense. It would be dangerous going alone not because of the zombeis but because of that chance at getting killed for supplies by groups of others. Its almost paradoxal, is there safety in numbers given the chance for the group to be compromised by infection, or is it better to travel alone and risk being shot in the back by rival survivors?

And anyway, while we're talking high grade top of the line defensive body gear, try getting some Dragon Armor.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 03 Feb 2008, 21:06
Who's to say any of the infections are intentional? I mean, why would you WANT competition for food? That is why I'm never having kids.

Thoughts on food: What does the Zombie Survival Guide (I think this should be our definitive source on tactics) say about how long zombies can go on without sustenance, or if they even need it. This is important guys. We need to know how long the zombie threat will last before they start to starve.

And Pat, you damn well better be sure you can keep warm in Alaska, unless Sitka is warmer than I think. I wouldn't rely on indoor heat either. Remember: post-apocalyptic. There's gonna be no fucking electricity.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 03 Feb 2008, 21:23
Sitka's southeast AK (look near Juneau on a map) so it's way more temperate than, say, Kotzebue or Nome. It is certainly cold and rainy in winter, but between March and October there really isn't much snow. November to February you are in a winter wasteland, but I know people who know how to make snowshoes.

I've also got a good friend, about 23 years old, who is very interested in old-style archery and has made his own wooden bows and arrows. He has been known to bowfish (freshwater only, getting saltwater on your bowstring is a surefire way to have it snap on you, and making a new bowstring is a bitch and a half) and he's even nabbed a few good headshots on deer in his day. He's also got a friend who, incidentally, has a wealth of knowledge in the world of non-refrigerated meat preservation from going on month-long hunting trips. I plan on spending a lot of outdoors time with them when I'm back this summer, and I'll learn as much as I can from the both of them.

One thing I would invest in? A bunch of firestarters. Get one of those flint-and-steel units, and get a fuckton of the magnesium bars that you strip little flakes off of. They're like $20, last for ages even with constant use, and they burn at something like 1000ºC even when wet. Another would be a hatchet (I will go Gary Paulsen on all you motherfuckers).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 21:57
Zombies don't actually need sustenance, they're dead. The body only reacts to basic instincts for hunting food and sees all moving things as that target and will mimic the motions. You have to worry about how long the zombies will be able to survive as far as rotting goes, to where their muscles have fully deteriorate or they can no longer maintain connection between brain and body.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 03 Feb 2008, 22:07
Oh also, I have to remember that I am in Australia.  It's pretty hard to get guns here, but you could probably get some if you knew where to look.  Unfortunately those places are normally gun shops in towns that would be full of the ravening undead, stored in locked cabinets.  There's also weapons shops in the city, but they are in the fucking city.   I live in a city suburb, so it'd be hard for me to escape unscathed.  It is a good 45mins drive to get out of the metropolitan area and into sparser, less dense suburbs, and that is without the streets being packed with undead/people trying to escape.  I would have two options: 1, hole up for a bit until the initial hubbub dies down, then make a break for it.  2, find a  motorbike and try my luck, perhaps with a couple of friends.

Unfortunately for me I can't really think of a single good place near me to hole up in the event of zombie outbreak.  My house is fairly zombie-proof, though.  At least in the short-term.  I have a high back fence with a metal door, so I doubt any zombies could come through my backyard.  If they did somehow get in to my backyard I have one large window that is covered in a metal grate, and an inaccessible small window.  I live in a terrace house, so I'm covered on either side by thick concrete walls and other houses.  The front of my house has a door and a window, both with metal grates.  In the event of zombie outbreak I could stock up on supplies and lay low, occasionally scanning radio frequencies for news reports.  I also have a "middle door" of sorts that leads to an enclosed courtyard.  If there was some sort of breach I could go out that door, up onto the terrace rooftops and try to find the least zombie-clogged area to jump down.

That isn't really a good plan, though.  If there was a 24hr warning period (as a lot of people seem to be saying, for some reason) I could perhaps procure a motorbike and head off.  The motorbike would make it easier to work my way through traffic, and if I got a trailbike I could even cut across yards/farms/etc once they appeared.  That plus a backpack of rations as well as some kind of weapons.  At present the usable weapons I have include a hammer, a baseball bat, a set of hardwood nunchuku and a huge prybar (unwieldy), which seems horribly underprepared.  I would definitely take the hammer and the bat, then forage along the way.

One problem with this idea is that I don't know where I would be heading, other than "the fuck out of the city".  Another is that I don't really have any "outdoors" skills, so once I got into the bush/country I would be pretty screwed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 03 Feb 2008, 22:31
@Boro_Bandito and Whipstitch
http://www.thearma.org/essays/thrusting_vs_cutting.html

From the article:
"The Romans, often cited as personifying the epitome of thrusting swordplay, actually stressed both cut and thrust with their wide-bladed gladius and eventually adopted the longer spatha, or cutting blade."

The axe in a sheild wall argument makes sense, though I think I would end up using my sword. Especially since I lack a group of people to sheild wall with.

As for other people, that is what I would really want a gun for. Preferably a simple rifle. Though the rockies are pretty close, so I would probably go there. Doubt I would meet many others.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Feb 2008, 23:01
Roof-hopping is definitely preferable to traveling on the ground, you could see how far you could make it by terrace and create ways of getting off that zombies can't follow (see rope). Also, make a couple of sets of rope ladders to use to get down once your away from a large group of zombies considering they're just crowding around your house because they caught your scent. Also, might start wanting to read books on basic wilderness survival, things like how to survive flash floods, prevent heat stroke and harvesting water, all problems in the Australian bush. Books of edible plant life and insect life would also be good, because while eating bugs is nasty as all hell, if its between that and death you'd rather eat a bug that isn't going to kill you from poison.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 01:08
From the article:
"The Romans, often cited as personifying the epitome of thrusting swordplay, actually stressed both cut and thrust with their wide-bladed gladius and eventually adopted the longer spatha, or cutting blade."

The axe in a sheild wall argument makes sense, though I think I would end up using my sword.

You seem to miss the point behind using it in battle against zombies though. Zombies don't give a damn about a flesh wound, you can only kill them by destroying the brain. A sword ain't gonna be much use in cutting into a skull, there's just not enough momentum behind it. THAT'S what the point was.

Maybe you can try for a neck shot, but that'd involve a sideways swing, and you don't want to give them a chance to grab your arm when you pull back for a second hit. Even if you do slash at them while you're pulling back, your arm isn't going to be as fast as your initial swing. As for a forehead stab into the brain, well, it's possible, but it's a much more difficult shot unless you've had a lot of practice doing accurate stabs.

Axe vs. sword in zombie battle? No contest.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Switchblade on 04 Feb 2008, 01:48
(http://www.retrosellers.com/images/zulu.jpg)

Disciplined men with single-shot rifles firing in well-trained ranks against an oncoming horde. The added difficulty of aiming for the head is compensated for the fact that the horde is moving a lot slower.

fun fact: According to a friend of mine, men instinctively aim for the center of mass, whereas women instinctively aim for the head. Therefore, I would want my platoon of British colonial soldiers to all be women. As well as making them more efficient, it also opens up the possibility of HOT END-OF-THE-WORLD MAKEOUTS.

also, is it wrong that I find the idea of an all-female version of Zulu extremely erotic?

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 02:29
Switchblade actually made me laugh out loud. In the middle of the night. If I woke someone up, I blame you.

I wonder why the instinctive aiming thing is. I also wonder if someone that plays Counter-strike would be more likely to aim for the head. Note, I didn't say they would be able to hit the broad side of a barn, nor that you wouldn't be tempted to leave them for the zombies, but it would be interesting to see if someone that frequently played a game that emphasizes headshots is more likely to aim for the head than someone that doesn't game, or someone that plays games where headshots don't count.

Now that I have had time to actually think more, and not be caught up in argument mode (where I would argue that the sky is neon green, if I somehow managed to get myself into that position), I think that Khar's idea is decent, probably the best one in a crowded area, where you have to push through, but mine would probably be better in a less crowded, more wide-open area. Pat's friend would be invaluable, with his bow skills, and alaska sounds like a very good idea, if you can get the supplies to survive in the cold, especially if the zombies do shut down during winter, you just go out with whatever sharp object you have handy, and snicker-snack. Clear out a good sized area around you, allow you to stay in that place for longer. I still think that mountains would be a decent place too, really low population density, probably in part due to all the parks we have up there, so there would be more than the population density maps say, but still not nearly as many people as there are in this city. Hmm... Would putting blades on the sides of the truck be a good thing, or would it just take up too much space, making narrow roads tougher, and cause too much more drag when driving through zombies?

And Switchblade, which Monty Python bit is that from?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Switchblade on 04 Feb 2008, 03:02
And Switchblade, which Monty Python bit is that from?

It's not. It's from a 1964 movie called "Zulu", which [historynerd]covered a historical battle at a place called Rorke's Drift, in which a single British Battalion held off a Zulu army of 4,000 and inflicted such heavy casualties that the Zulus withdrew. The Victoria Cross was awarded to seven different soldiers from that unit, the most that's ever been awarded for a single action.[/historynerd]

The Pythons did spoof it though. "A tiger? In Africa?".
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 04:03
Oh, okay, I thought that looked like John Cleese, so I assumed Monty Python. I guess it isn't him though, now that I look closer. I did see the meaning of life spoof though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: blanktom on 04 Feb 2008, 05:02
has anyone mentioned homemade explosives?

i've made myself some pretty good dynamite and napalm before. i'd just get myself a couple of barrels of petroleum and a good supply of the other essentials, hole myself up and get a production line going. and by 'hole myself up' i mean I Am Legend style hole myself up. my house is big enough to do this.

zombies dont have siege weapons and shit. so i'd just wait for a good build up of them and incinerate them with some home-made napalm or give them a petrol bomb or two.

also, this thread has turned into a cock-size comparison.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 06:32
There's no discussion necessary. My cock is the second biggest, with only Chuck in the lead.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 04 Feb 2008, 07:05
I blame myself for bringing the gun talk back again. Mentioning weapons is always the quickest way to get people to whip out the e-penis.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: a pack of wolves on 04 Feb 2008, 07:18
This thread makes me sad about how utterly fucked I'll be when the zombies arrive. I live near to the city centre in one of the most densely populated areas of Western Europe in the third biggest city in the UK. I don't own a car or motorbike or even know how to operate either. The best weapon in my flat is a hammer. I have zero wilderness skills. So basically I have little chance of escaping the city and I'd most likely die even if I did get out anyway. Nevertheless, I should formulate a plan and not go quietly into that zombie night.

The flat itself would be reasonably secure against zombies. Their only means of access would be to get over a 7ft wall and then break the door down, so in the very short term I'd be alright. But given the large population around here they'd end up congregating eventually and swell over the wall so staying put is definitely not an option. In my case I reckon banding together with other people gives me the best chance. I might not know shit about survival but I do know people who could survive in the wilderness, so finding them and heading as far north as possible would be sensible. For transport I'd go for my bicycle when in the city and then use somebody's van to actually get out of it, loaded up with supplies. For weapons just whatever objects closest to an axe possible, but other things are more important. If you don't know how to use them they'll probably just make you overconfident and make you not run the fuck away like you should. Then go for the Scottish highlands or possibly one of the islands if a suitable vessel can be located, find a farm or something that could be used as such and hole up. Being a constant nomad sounds nice but something will eventually go wrong and you'll be buggered, particularly if you're on your own. You've got to sleep sometime. Heading for the coldest, most sparsely populated areas and staying put with good defenses seems the best option for long-term survival.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 04 Feb 2008, 07:37
If this thread is degenerating into a metaphorical cock size contest, consider me the Chuck of this thread. Everyone here except Phil and maybe Khar is going to get fucking eaten. Half of you will be shooting each other to prove whose gun is best, the other forty-nine percent will be hacking zombies' arms off while they get devoured and then we have Patrick...who will literally spend the zombie apocalypse trying to find a tape measure with which he can measure his dick to prove a point.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 08:11
If I have to fistfight my way through zombies to get to a Home Depot to do it then so be it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 04 Feb 2008, 08:14
So are we assuming zombies develop pack-like hunting skills or do they retain some communication abilities? If it's neither I think I'm pretty ok here. Also I have had plenty of experience of surviving shambling mobs of unintelligent wrecks with limited motor skill.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 04 Feb 2008, 08:16
Wait, why would I be eaten again? Why is holing up somewhere with a shotgun or rifle instead of a pistol and a light off-road capable truck instead of a motorcycle a deathwish? Is it because the truck could potentially be loaded up with life-saving supplies so my entire plan doesn't hinge around "Gee, when I get to the area where I plan on waiting out the zombie apocalypse, I hope there isn't any zombies already around; I don't really have enough gas to go anywhere else."
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 04 Feb 2008, 08:23
Dan will be okay as well. Not because of any survival skill, but because the UK is so fucking lame that the zombies won't even bother with it. They may not have any form of rationale or intellect, but the things have some base instinct.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 04 Feb 2008, 08:27
Quote
HRRG! UARGAURR! HRR AOR GHF!



*sigh*

*clk-pshhffff*
*sip*

If we're not talking supernatural zombies, I'll be good to go in a month when they're all dead(er).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 08:36
There actually is a greater benefit to running, in my opinion. For example, since there aren't going to be any utilities since all the workers are going to be either zombies, eaten, or running/hiding themselves, there isn't going to be any clean, fresh, running water. You kindof need clean, running water if you're holed up somewhere. You could get a distiller, but how are you going to heat it for long? Propane? If you're really well holed up, you're probably not going to have ventilation that's good enough to have propane burning indoors.

If you're running and finding temporary hole-up spots along the way, you can -find- clean and fresh water. Reason number 6 why I'm going to Sitka: there is clean, fresh water all over that island. Lots of precipitation + geothermal heating makes for a lot of fog and mist, sure, but at least you don't have to light a fire to get unfrozen water.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 04 Feb 2008, 08:38
The thing is, zombies aren't going to chase you constantly for twelve hours. As is well established, it's not going to be hard to outrun a zombie when traveling light. The general plan for being on the run, is to use high ground for sleeping. Remember, I never said I planned to live on the road indefinitely and your plan for heading for the mountain is no more foolproof than my plan for the Southeast as you've still got to travel to get there. Unless you're living somewhere you can hole up and see yourself surviving for a few years, somewhere capable of growing and sustaining future supplies, you're going to have to travel at some sort.

My basic plan outline is travel in the short term, settle in the long term in an ideal area. I'd be looking mostly Florida area as far as permanently settling, as the hurricane season would probably do a good job of clearing out a lot of the zombies and it'd probably be at least a year before I could journey all the way down anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 04 Feb 2008, 09:03
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1400049628.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

Read it. Learn it. Practice it.

Beyond that, it should be common sense. A predator that acts on instinct will always go for the easier meal, without exception. At a decent jog, you're going to put a mile or so between yourself and any zombie that is chasing you inside of an hour. A zombie is not going to be able to track you from there. They're dead people walking, they won't have enhanced spider senses or the ability to track your scent like a dog all of a sudden.

I'm half tempted to post my last picture from the Quiki forum to show you just how seriously I take my zombie preparation.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 09:05
Now that you've mentioned it though, weather is definitely a major consideration that has only been touched on in terms of "Oh will I be too hot in all of this clothing?" There is a lot more to it than that.

I definitely like your idea that Florida's hurricane season will clear zombies out while you are conveniently holed up in a well-fortified, hurricane proof structure. I'm assuming that the zombifying virus doesn't cross species boundaries and can only be transferred human-to-human. When the wind or flooding eventually washes them out to sea, their carcass bodies will hopefully be eaten by sea creatures, but since it's human-to-human transfer only, you can still fish for your food.

I, for one, am hoping that the winter freezes the zombies' feet to the ground due to their slow walking pace. Of course, they'll not feel it/care and keep trucking, but in the process they'll probably lose their mobility-capable appendages in the process, depending on the degree of rottenness and/or how well stuck they are when they keep powering through.

Of course, they could get stuck and then completely frozen, and when the weather warms up they'd just thaw out and reanimate. One bonus to them being completely frozen, though, is that you can go up after a certain amount of time, allowing them to become frozen before you do anything. Then you just walk up with your baseball bat (wood axe on your belt, just in case) and make with the brain destruction in a few fell swoops (assuming they aren't already frozen to the point of shattering from that kind of hit).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 04 Feb 2008, 09:08
Also of note, the humidity and intense heat will likely cause any lingering biters to decompose at a quicker pace. I'm not even concerned so much with the hurricane season legitimately wiping them out so much as at least spreading them out and making it a bit easier of a journey. There are also significantly more military bases and prisons in the south, both of which are ideal positions for holing up.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: a pack of wolves on 04 Feb 2008, 09:13
On the subject of cold climate survival, a few people have mentioned the difficulty of doing this without electricity. Although it's true that the power plants will be down and relying on petrol generators is a bad idea there's always renewables. I know people who own and know how to rig up wind turbines, solar panels and the like, if I can get them and myself into a cold climate then we can still heat a building. Of course, this isn't too likely for me since as I've already said I'm basically going to be boned within about an hour of this kicking off, but it's worth thinking about for those of you with a greater survival chance. Solar panels would be a fucker to carry but if you knew what you were doing you could put together a wind turbine and hook it up to a car battery with scavenged materials.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 04 Feb 2008, 09:18
I wasn't aware the ZSG was real-life canon.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 04 Feb 2008, 09:23
Real life canon? Dude, we're talking about zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 09:40
Also of note, the humidity and intense heat will likely cause any lingering biters to decompose at a quicker pace.

Also also of note is that during hurricane season, even if it doesn't drive them out, the powerful wind and rain will certainly do wonders to erode away flesh and muscle, which will certainly make it harder for the bastards to move around.

Also Joe don't deny that it's a real threat. Denial will get us all killed. You don't want to be that guy, trust me.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 04 Feb 2008, 09:45
Aren't you the one who was making a big deal about competition for food? I should think your strategy here should be to encourage everyone else to underestimate the threat, thereby lessening your competition.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 09:45
Pat's point about the running water is a good one, which is another benefit of mountainous living, you are drinking snowmelt and glacial melt, less time for it to get polluted, and I would be somewhat worried about what would happen if I drank water that a zombie had been walking in.

Oh, and since Max Brooks is canon, everyone needs an MP3 player with The Trooper loaded on it, just in case.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 09:47
Aren't you the one who was making a big deal about competition for food? I should think your strategy here should be to encourage everyone else to underestimate the threat, thereby lessening your competition.

You're just saying that so I don't repopulate the world with my own offspring after the threat is gone.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 04 Feb 2008, 10:12
Well if you're moving from place to place and fresh water and utilities is going to be a problem then you get a wilderness grade water purifying kit, or make your own. Essentially its iodine. Get a good amount of that and possibly a portable basic filter and you could drink your own piss (which actually as long as you drink it fresh and before it has time to build up bacteria from outside sources you can anyway, its survival people not comfort city). There are various ways to preserve water and prevent heat stroke, and as long as you don't look at some of the stuff you may have to eat in the wild(unless you're a really good hunter/trapper, of which admittedly I'm not) you can make it through.

Edit: for some reason I didn't read the 9th page before posting this.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 04 Feb 2008, 12:13
Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be. I carry Swedish Fire Steel in my pocket, one-match fires are my game, I have been able to tell the difference between poisonous plants by sight if not by name since before I can remember, I can build fish hooks with some twine or weeds and sticks, I know how to track and trap game even if I have never hunted on my own before, and I am a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow. Lichen does not grow only on the north sides of trees; grubs you find under rocks are completely edible, I promise; pine smokes when you burn it, and will either create a smoke signal or coat whatever you are cooking over it in tar, or both; check flora growth for wind patterns on the sides of hills and mountains, because setting up camp in a wind tunnel is fucking miserable.

There is a crowbar in the trunk of my car and a hammer on my windowsill and, lucky for me, I tend to live off prepackaged food anyway, so I have a ton of it sitting around. 2 Nalgenes, a couple of packs of iodine tabs, some caribbiners, and my chacos, and I am pretty good to go.


Things I should probably acquire: a handgun of some sort for headshots, a hatchet, a new and not-broken swiss army knife, a decent hiking pack, a baseball bat
Things I want: the cat I left at my parents' house. :(
Things I could do without: my roommate's retarded cat,
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 04 Feb 2008, 12:21
Can...

Can I go with Katie please?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 12:24
@Calen You have a crowbar? Gordenne Freeman?

Oh, where does the Giardia-causing bacteria come from? I am sure that in the olden days, people didn't constantly put up with needing to fertilize a tree every fifteen minutes, did they? Would drinking close to the source help?

Oh, and I changed a bit of my plan. Rather than going up into the Colorado mountains, go into the Wyoming mountains. 509k people in the state, which is less people than are in Denver county. uninhabited areas stretching hundreds of square miles. Seriously, the only places less inhabited would be Alaska, the dark side of the moon, and Kansas, in that order.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 04 Feb 2008, 12:40
Hell I could live in Kansas...

You know, I'm starting to like the idea of grouping up more and more. Still would prefer nomadic though...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 12:44
Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be.

You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens. With your survival skills and my knowledge of the wilderness/good places to loot, we would be unstoppable.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 12:55
Hell I could live in Kansas...

You know, I'm starting to like the idea of grouping up more and more. Still would prefer nomadic though...

Apparently there are actually a decent amount of people in Kansas, though this is from Wikipedia. Wyoming has one of the lowest populations in the country (47/50 of the states), Kansas has more (33/50), but it is a big state. I would just hate to live in someplace so constantly windy. Especially if zombies smell humans, that would probably cause more of them downwind to notice you.

Having a group of people is good, if you can trust them, because that way you can have people watching through the night, and when you have to move on short notice, you will likely be able to clear out faster.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 04 Feb 2008, 13:21
Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be. I carry Swedish Fire Steel in my pocket, one-match fires are my game, I have been able to tell the difference between poisonous plants by sight if not by name since before I can remember, I can build fish hooks with some twine or weeds and sticks, I know how to track and trap game even if I have never hunted on my own before, and I am a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow. Lichen does not grow only on the north sides of trees; grubs you find under rocks are completely edible, I promise; pine smokes when you burn it, and will either create a smoke signal or coat whatever you are cooking over it in tar, or both; check flora growth for wind patterns on the sides of hills and mountains, because setting up camp in a wind tunnel is fucking miserable.

There is a crowbar in the trunk of my car and a hammer on my windowsill and, lucky for me, I tend to live off prepackaged food anyway, so I have a ton of it sitting around. 2 Nalgenes, a couple of packs of iodine tabs, some caribbiners, and my chacos, and I am pretty good to go.


Things I should probably acquire: a handgun of some sort for headshots, a hatchet, a new and not-broken swiss army knife, a decent hiking pack, a baseball bat
Things I want: the cat I left at my parents' house. :(
Things I could do without: my roommate's retarded cat,

Katie... marry me?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: OnewingedAngel on 04 Feb 2008, 13:23
My boss and I are already planning for the invasion. We are slowly stocking up canned food in the office and have determined the best way to knock down the stairs to the second floor. Also we will ask George Romero for advice when we go to Fangoria in April. *drool*
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 04 Feb 2008, 14:58
Quite possibly the best place to stave off a zombie attack would be at the Greenbrier Hotel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Greenbrier), or rather, beneath it. On my official post-zombie-apocalypse map, the Greenbrier is marked in fluorescent yellow and orange, and it's because it is sitting on top of the most secure bunker in North America. Part of Project Greek Island in the late '50s, the bunker itself is absolutely gigantic: it is 65 feet beneath the earth, and has enough room to support 1,000 people and all the equipment necessary to keep them alive for 60 days. (that's 60,000 days for a single person, ie. a lifetime).

It is the size of 2 football fields stacked on top of each other. and is protected by concrete walls 5 FEET thick. It even has its own hospital! It has air and water recycling facilities, and over 42,000 gallons of fuel to operate a gigantic generator that can power the entire facility for months. The only four entrances are protected by steel and concrete blast doors, including a larger door for trucks that weighs 40 tons. Best of all? It has its own in-house armory stocked with enough weapons and ammo to supply a small army.

When the zombies start coming, that is where I am going.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 04 Feb 2008, 15:03
Tonight, on the eleven o'clock news: Everyone finds out Katie is really Bear Grylls!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 04 Feb 2008, 15:09
Oh also dude you do not want to go to West Virginia. Trust me.




Actually, my prejudices aside, West Virginia might be a pretty decent place to go, given its total lack of anything ever.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Trollstormur on 04 Feb 2008, 15:21
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v12/sademie/qcfun.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 04 Feb 2008, 17:12
You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens.

Well hey, I plan on holding up in Valdez. Extremely thin population, practically endless population of salmon and small mammals. Canoes are everywhere in that town; if needed I could make a quick escape across the Bay. Maybe we could eventually meet up!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Storm Rider on 04 Feb 2008, 18:26
shopped comic

I don't get it. Is Faye engaging in Counterstrikery or something?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 04 Feb 2008, 18:31
I think he is just trolling, probably in response to the humor-related thread. Gotta love a forum where a mod trolls.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 04 Feb 2008, 20:25
Guys, I was thinking about this last night and wonder what you think of a war hammer as a weapon choice.  Made with some kind of dense steel and with two heads instead of a striking head and a trailing spike, that way there's less chance you'll accidentally spike some zombie in the head and get it stuck.

Also, another thing I've very quickly learned from Dead Rising is that Jon is completely right about getting the fuck away from any zombies  you see, asap.  I know Dead Rising isn't the best thing to be basing decisions on, but some of this stands to reason.  For example, when I first started playing it it was fun to just kill all zombies in sight as I casually strolled toward my goal.  Then my shit eventually wore down and broke.  Then more zombies came.  Then I would spend more time looking for new weapons and supplies than I would getting to wherever it was I was headed.  I am very quickly learning that you should get to wherever the hell it is you want to go as quickly as possible and with a minimum of conflict.  (also: that chainsaws are actually not very useful, because they are heavy and easily-dropped)

Another thing that it's made me think about is that navigating through the beginning stages of zombie apocalypse will be a lot easier than getting through whatever thronging zombie hordes appear afterward.  At the start of the game the mall is slightly zombied, but it quickly gets very hard to run from one place to another due to zombies slowly pouring in through the front doors.  This is the thing to remember about hordes - they just keep coming.  The very best thing you can do is get the fuck away early and quickly.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 04 Feb 2008, 20:47
don't worry, there's a point where you get a couple of smaller chainsaws that can actually be put in your inventory. I won't say where or what awesome crazy boss you have to fight to get them, but they're awesome. have those and get a book that increases the life of construction equipment and it makes your life a hell of a lot easier.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dr.sangaygupta on 04 Feb 2008, 20:53
You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens.

Well hey, I plan on holding up in Valdez. Extremely thin population, practically endless population of salmon and small mammals. Canoes are everywhere in that town; if needed I could make a quick escape across the Bay. Maybe we could eventually meet up!

If you read World War Z, this would make perfect sense. And also a weapon that doesn't need constant attention or ammunition/fuel.
IE: a shovel, maschete (SP?), 2x4's etc.

but I think y'all have that figured out already.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 04 Feb 2008, 21:16
Maybe we could eventually meet up!

That'd be pretty cool. Bring supplies if you can. I'm sure the mainland is a lot more likely to have stuff than an isolated island.

I just hope you're aware that if you do come visit, that's going to be a hell of a lot of paddling. Sitka's way down by Juneau in southeast.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Trollstormur on 04 Feb 2008, 21:46
I think he is just trolling, probably in response to the humor-related thread. Gotta love a forum where a mod trolls.


lol b&
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 04 Feb 2008, 22:35
Guys, I was thinking about this last night and wonder what you think of a war hammer as a weapon choice.  Made with some kind of dense steel and with two heads instead of a striking head and a trailing spike, that way there's less chance you'll accidentally spike some zombie in the head and get it stuck.

It would be heavy, and would tire you out very fast in combat. Probably better off with an axe or a machete. Though I am assuming you mean something like a sledge hammer. Something with a smaller head would probably have a good chance of getting stuck more often. IMO of course.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 04 Feb 2008, 23:13
Half-Life 2 has taught me that crowbars will be invaluable both in the shattering of zombie skull and the opening of any door which has been boarded up.

Not locked doors, though. You have to restore power to those.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 05 Feb 2008, 05:43
Yes, as opposed to doing anything drastic like... breaking the glass and opening it from the other side, or pulling the hinges out, or heaven forbid, using your gravity gun that is capable of punting cars thirty feet to open a cheap wooden door.

My melee weapon of choice would probably be a baseball bat, I have a wooden sword, but I don't know if I would actually use it, and if I did, I don't know how long it would last, it was a cheap $20 one. I know my baseball bat friends woody and al would last a good while though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 05 Feb 2008, 06:03
Wait, hang on a sec.  I've just re-read most of the posts in this thread and I think I am doing it wrong.  Let me try again.

You guys are all fucking stupid and you're all gonna get eaten.  I am the only one with a foolproof plan and also the best weapons and the best experience with said weapons.   Ha ha ha, have fun eating brains with your dipshit zombie pals, meatbags!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Switchblade on 05 Feb 2008, 06:19
On a serious note (i.e. not planning on having an entire regiment at my disposal) my weapon of choice would be a Gladius and light shield. The shield's there for warding - if I'm attacked by two at once, I can hold one off while I deal with the other.

Why a gladius? It's a short, fairly light but still powerful sword designed for chopping and stabbing. Keep it sharp and it can easily decapitate. Or, you can drive it into the brain through the forehead (less advisable because of the risk of it getting stuck, but still possible, especially in cramped quarters)

My backup weapon, assuming I could find one, would be a .22 caliber semiautomatic pistol.

The two most important parts of my arsenal, however, would be thick boots and thick gauntlets. The most likely places on the human body to get bitten are the forearms and the lower legs. Thick leather reinforced with chainmail would be enough to stop zombie teeth from penetrating. Combine that with a skiing mask and goggles to prevent infected matter from splashing in my face and infecting me that way and you've covered the vast majority of possible ways to get infected.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: OnewingedAngel on 05 Feb 2008, 06:40
That's a good idea. However, I would go with a slightly larger calibur weapon as a .22 may or may not stop the zombie from falling on to you, where as a 9mm or .45 cal handgun will have some knockback, and looking back at the tight quarters, throwing a zombie back in other zombies *may* buy you some time. And I would recommend a longer sword for the same reason, no sense in letting them get any closer than absolutely possible.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Feb 2008, 06:45
A war hammer might be a good idea. Much better than a baseball bat. I still do not get why people are suggesting baseball bats! You MUST CONCENTRATE THE FORCE OF THE BLOW TO SIGNIFICANTLY DAMAGE THE BRAIN.

For those who don't know, a war hammer:

(http://home.att.net/~licata_knives/warhammer.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Feb 2008, 06:54
I see two problems: one is what if it gets stuck? the second is that it's good for the initial swing, but what about the backswing? with a short sword or a machete, you can maneuver it more quickly. With something that "point-heavy", it would be more difficult to bring back around.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 07:20
I know Dead Rising isn't the best thing to be basing decisions on, but some of this stands to reason.

Dead Rising actually went vaguely into my ideas. I've cobbled it together from parts of Zombie Survival Guide, World War Z, the Romero series, Shaun of the Dead, Dead Rising, Walking Dead and Resident Evil and stuck primarily with the bits that were consistant throughout.

The two most important parts of my arsenal, however, would be thick boots and thick gauntlets. The most likely places on the human body to get bitten are the forearms and the lower legs. Thick leather reinforced with chainmail would be enough to stop zombie teeth from penetrating. Combine that with a skiing mask and goggles to prevent infected matter from splashing in my face and infecting me that way and you've covered the vast majority of possible ways to get infected.

Jesus. Throw in some shoulder pads and you're a walking Rob Liefeld design. In seriousness, though, the boots are a good idea, but everything else seems sketchy. Gauntlets would be relatively limiting on your dexterity and you'd probably be better served with leather gloves of some sort, not to mention gauntlets are an impractical and difficult thing to get ahold of. You'd be better served with riot gear if you're going to go with a fantasy scenario on what you have on hand. In terms of the skiing mask, it's going to be more harm than good. 28 Days Later is about the only reference point for assuming you're going to turn by getting it in your mouth or eyes (And as I said before, we're all fucked if it happened that way). If that were the case, you'd starve to death as no food or water would be safe. From there, you're going to seriously wear yourself down with heatstroke wearing a ski mask at all times.

That's a good idea. However, I would go with a slightly larger calibur weapon as a .22 may or may not stop the zombie from falling on to you, where as a 9mm or .45 cal handgun will have some knockback, and looking back at the tight quarters, throwing a zombie back in other zombies *may* buy you some time. And I would recommend a longer sword for the same reason, no sense in letting them get any closer than absolutely possible.

Why would you be shooting them at a close enough range for them falling on you to be a risk? If they're that close, you might as well be using a bludgeoning weapon.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Feb 2008, 07:28
Guys, I have let this slide for a while, but it's really getting on my tits now.

it's "calibre" or "caliber", not "calibur".
(http://www.rc-trucks.org/Colt-45-Handgun.jpg)
Caliber
(http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2729530/2/istockphoto_2729530_l85_british_assault_rifle_3.jpg)
Calibre
(http://www.clairelieberman.com/works/images/spaceGun_reverse.jpg)
CALIBURRR!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Feb 2008, 07:32
tell it 2 soul calibur, omg ur such n00bz

@Khar: I'm going to have to agree with Stryc9Fuego here, but only on that specific example of a warhammer. The point is too long and the shape really is all too perfect for getting stuck.

I'll take a double-edged battleaxe or plain old claw hammer any day. Hell, maybe even a 15lb sledgehammer, but I'd be afraid of the head falling off the handle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Feb 2008, 07:51
The only gun I would be carrying would be the one I would shoot myself with when I eventually get cornered by a horde of walking corpses. Anything else would be a waste of space.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 08:09
Even the shittiest gun gives you several shots at range, whereas a melee weapon always requires you to get up and close. I don't see why you guys are all shutting into the "guns are fucking useless!" mentality

Because if you're "at range," you likely shouldn't be engaging to begin with. A gun might be useful in certain close quarters upon initial escape, but once you're on the move, you should be avoiding areas where you could potentially be trapped by a zombie anyway. Once you're holed up, you'd be better off with a compound bow of some sort as the ammo isn't nearly as finite and is generally reusable.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Feb 2008, 08:15
Why is it a waste of space? Even the shittiest gun gives you several shots at range, whereas a melee weapon always requires you to get up and close. I don't see why you guys are all shutting into the "guns are fucking useless!" mentality because even though they might attract more zombies, in a last resort situation, you'll thank Azathoth you brought one.

And it's not as if a Beretta M9 takes a lot of space, or weighs a lot.

It's mainly because the only type of gun I can hold without my hands shaking is a rifle and therefore heavy (heavier than a handgun at least) and as I've mentioned before, my vision is not great at anything over about 50m. For some reason I am way more comfortable and accurate with a bow. Besides, living in Australia and pretty much in the middle of the city I, like Est, would probably not be able to get hold of a gun anyway and would most likely fall during the first hours of the zombie attack. Of course, the door to my apartment is fairly sturdy, the balconey of my room is easily 15-19 feet off of the ground with a pit dropping down a further 3 feet below normal ground level and nothing to climb nearby (not that zombies have great motor function) and the balconey that looks out over the street is fronted by a corrugated iron awning with a slightly less than 10 foot drop. I could probably hole up for a few days if I kept a low profile and try to make a break for it when the roads and the smoke has cleared.
It's not so much of a "guns are useless" mentality but rather a "guns are tricky hard practically impossible to get hold off in this country if you're not in the military or a farmer. I've never used one and will probably never get the chance, they are barely even worth thinking about. I suppose my best bet would be to find transportation and get as far out of the city as possible. The main problem with that plan though is that eventually you will hit the desert and I don't know about you guys but I will probably die out there. Cranky and uncomfortable.

Because if you're "at range," you likely shouldn't be engaging to begin with. A gun might be useful in certain close quarters upon initial escape, but once you're on the move, you should be avoiding areas where you could potentially be trapped by a zombie anyway. Once you're holed up, you'd be better off with a compound bow of some sort as the ammo isn't nearly as finite and is generally reusable.

Pretty much, I don't want to sound like I have tickets on myself but hand me a compound bow and my glasses and I could probably take down a couple of zombies if I had to (between running for my fucking life) and I could probably have a shot at hunting as well. Oh god I made a pun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 05 Feb 2008, 08:56
I get what JimmyTheSquid is saying; he sucks with guns and they're out of the question anyway. What I don't get is how is the ammo on a compound bow is supposed to not nearly be so finite. Compounds put a an awful lot of force on their arrows; you need to get used to maintaining the arrows because the shafts won't be in the best of shape after colliding with something fairly solid- I've seen carbon fiber arrows get bent up from glancing the shoulder blades of deer, so I'm pretty certain that a zombie skull (assuming you're good enough to hit such a relatively small moving target and retrieve the arrow in the first place) will qualify for being solid enough to end up in a damaged shaft. I guess I'm just all kinds of skeptical on this one, especially since broadheads weigh about 80-125 grains (not counting the shaft) while a 30.06 or .308 ammunition weighs about about 125-150 grains and is far less bulky than any arrow. I have no idea what would work best between target points and broadheads though; target points aren't heavy at all but I have doubts if they'd have the mass needed to deal much damage while broadheads are heavy enough but designed to make things bleed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 09:01
Let me put it this way:

Get two random guys off the street. Tell one you want him to make you fifty 9 MM rounds and the other you want him to make fifty arrows. Who do you think will be finished first?

I sure as shit couldn't make a bullet of any sort, but give a guy a knife and a hatchet (Two things you would likely want to bring with you anyway) and he should be able to cobble together makeshift arrows without too much work.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Feb 2008, 09:05
It is not an ideal situation but all I am saying is that if it came down to me having to use a projectile weapon, I'd fair better with a bow than with a gun. Also human bone is not quite as dense as deer bone (I looked it up!) so depending on range a target point could probably pierce bone and brain. Broadheads would be better for hunting for food and I'd be going for the neck anyway, it just seems logical.*

EDIT: Jon, I would guess that the majority of the initial attempts at arrowmaking would result in shattered arrows as soon as you release the string.


*I have no hunting experience. I have no plans to get hunting experience. Oh well.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 09:14
Yeah. I figure you're better off with that than mangling your gun trying to use home made bullets.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 05 Feb 2008, 09:22
Jon, I will survive this deadly battle because I have been to Perfection, Nevada.  

I have taken the Survial Course, I can make any type of bullet.  

And, I never mentioned what types of guns I was using, but my basement looks something like this:

http://members.fortunecity.com/burtgummer/deluxeburt.htm (http://members.fortunecity.com/burtgummer/deluxeburt.htm)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 09:34
Can make and have immediate access to sufficient materials to make are two very different things, Dissy.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 09:53
Man, I can't say I would ever make a mistake so big as to put myself in THAT situation outside of my immediate escape, in which case there's no way to get ahold of any kind of firearm. Regardless, in that close proximity with that many zombies, you are fucked. Unless you are the greatest marksman in the world, you are not going to put down nineteen zombies coming from two sides before one of them gets you. How would you even get in that position? In order to be trapped in a corridor that small with that many of the fuckers, you're going to have to have waltzed past the first group to begin with unless you decided to nap in an enclosed corridor for some unexplainable reason! Any sane individual with the slightest bit of foresight would not wind up in that situation.

As for the first picture, you do realize anything that impassable would be clearly visible from a distance, correct?  A line of trees, well that's one thing. You do realize you can walk between those, right? Sure, it's impractical as Hell and a bad idea, but you're not trapped unless the forest is on fire. In terms of an actually impassable structure, you shouldn't be wandering that close to begin with. With soldiers and all that it's one thing, you want to stay close to cover, but zombies cannot shoot you. In the event of zombies, cover is something to be avoided. If you're thinking ahead by anything more than five minutes into your future, you'll wisely avoid any areas where you can be surrounded by zombies before you've had a reasonable chance to dart by them. You're basically setting up a scenario for "if you're an idiot, you might need this." Anyone who's dumb enough to get cornered like that isn't someone I'd like to trust with a gun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 05 Feb 2008, 09:59
I'm just saying that it's easier to carry enough rounds to not have to worry about ammo for a long time than it is to carry enough arrows not to have to worry about replacing them for a long time. I think you're continually underestimating the difficulty of effectively using pistols against moving targets and making effective home made arrows, much less ones that'd survive being used by a modern compound bow. I really don't see much difference between having an empty rifle and virtually worthless bow, but I do believe the latter will become an issue before the former.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Feb 2008, 10:03
It's not entirely a case of being totally stupid. For example, what if while escaping from a city you duck into an alley to flee from some zombies? I mean, given the clarity of our position it's easy to say "no way should you run down that alley" but in the heat of the moment you're gonna run for the nearest available opening.

That said, I would agree that a gun isn't all that helpful in the scenarios illustrated. In the second you are just plain fucked, while in the first you shouldn't be attacking, you should run straight down.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Feb 2008, 10:31
How about a good torch? Who can't make that? I'm sure that tattered cloth and dessicated flesh would burn pretty good, plus they'd set each other on fire.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 10:34
Immediately before setting you and your escape route on fire. Zombies don't feel bad. Setting them on fire has essentially presented you with a walking, biting fire hazard.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 05 Feb 2008, 10:46
In an enclosed space agreed, you'd done gone and fucked yourself. Otherwise, it would burn away all of that necrotized muscle tissue leaving burnt out husks that can't do shit. This would be especially useful, say, if you're in a concrete bunker or something and will need to go on a supply run. Open a small hatch, jam a torch through to set the fire, close it up real quick, and wait for the crackling inferno to die down. That should take care of any immediate zombie threat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Feb 2008, 11:11
Y'know, you guys are just assuming the zombies wouldn't react to fire. In several zombie movies I've seen however, zombies fear fire. While I agree that actually setting them on fire would be stupid, torches are so easy to make that it'd be worth having one to see if zombies are held at bay by the fire.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 11:17
Depends on the source you go by. Night of the Living Dead is the absolute only thing I've seen where zombies are at all afraid of fire. The Zombie Survival Guide actually explicitely states that they are not.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 05 Feb 2008, 11:23
yeah, i've never seen zombies afraid of fire in anything beside Night of the Living Dead. i'm more inclined to agree with Max Brooks.

besides, it just makes more sense that way.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 05 Feb 2008, 11:29
with every step they take they get weaker, eventually tearing through entire muscles, immobilizing them.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 05 Feb 2008, 11:30
There seems to be a lot of confusion as to what zombies do and don't, what they can and can't do. Let's decide on the most likely kind: The ones infected with the Solanum virus, as described by Max Brooks in the zombie survival guide. They are pretty much your bog-standard zombie:

They're slow
They don't actually need food to survive but hunt after instinct
They don't react to fire, pain or anything of the sort
They run on instincts only, no hive mentality or collective consciousness
They can hear you
They moan when they see you, alerting nearby zombies
They don't Drink.
They do't have Sex.



If there's anything I've forgotten, add it to the list.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Feb 2008, 11:53
I assume he meant things actually relevant to this discussion. I mean, one could also point out that zombies don't play poker, but that isn't relevant.

In terms of relevant points however, here's a question: can zombies swim? I know others have suggested they walk along the bottom since they don't breath, but that wouldn't work because they'd float.

ADDITION: Isn't it odd that the thread has gotten to page 10 without an agreed upon list of what zombies can and cannot do?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 05 Feb 2008, 11:55
some will float, others will not.

eventually none will float.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hunter on 05 Feb 2008, 12:30
Quote

In terms of relevant points however, here's a question: can zombies swim? I know others have suggested they walk along the bottom since they don't breath, but that wouldn't work because they'd float.

I think they would thrash about and not move much since walking is basic human stuff, while swimming is not burned into your genes.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 05 Feb 2008, 12:49
I agree with Joe, we are sorely behind in a checklist for the characteristics of zombies, but I think a basic checklist of survival abilities and survival tools and equipment is just as important and needed here as well.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: OnewingedAngel on 05 Feb 2008, 13:35
Vehicle: Motorcycle or heavily armored truck
Weapons: Shotgun for the inaccurate, bladed weapon, preferably a sword or scythe or something that can stab and slice and give you a little room to maneuver, sniper rifle for safe distances.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 13:36
Man, you clearly have not been paying attention or would rather look cool than survive.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 05 Feb 2008, 13:48
Guys seriously, one thing we are assuming is that the disease or curse or whatever the hell it is isn't a cross-species contagion. This is a pretty reasonable assumption, but shouldn't we also be preparing for the worst-case scenario?

Yeah, that means you should shoot any dogs or cats or rats or mice or cows or sheep or horses you come across, but more importantly this is a major concern for food. What do you do then? Go veggie? You couldn't fish or stop and raid abandoned farms or whatever. This would be a Crisis, I think, especially running into the wilderness, because then you could never be sure the deer or squirrel or bear outside your treehouse wasn't also infected.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 13:52
Set myself on fire. I am not living in a world without meat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 05 Feb 2008, 13:59
A scythe is just asking to get owned. I mean, I'll defend the choice of a shotgun or rifle (Well, not a sniper rifle, but what constitutes a "sniper rifle" is almost another conversation entirely) as fairly reasonable, since they're common in my region and so easy to use, but a scythe?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 05 Feb 2008, 14:04
Man, I think you guys going on about the danger of getting hand weapons stuck have some weird ideas about what happens when someone gets hit with one. Consider: a zombie is a walking corpse. It has no motor control. An axe or hammer blow wielded by a reasonably strong person transfers more momentum than a shotgun blast. You hit a zombie in the head with an axe or a warhammer it'll just fall over. Furthermore, no hand weapon is designed to stick in things: that's always a bad thing. Weapons have to be specially designed to stick in things, a good example being broadhead arrows. Between the exit wound and the lever action of the handle, extracting a weapon is no real difficulty. Especially not out of rotting flesh and brain matter.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 05 Feb 2008, 14:08
it would just make a nice *shlop* noise and leave the blade/business end all gooey.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Feb 2008, 14:57
What do you do then? Go veggie?

Yeah I'm with Jon, if there's cross-species contamination, I am killing myself and looking like a badass motherfucker doing it. No flesh, no food, PERIOD.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Feb 2008, 15:45
If there's no meat in the zombiepocalypse I plan on throwing myself into a turbine engine and being turned into the ultimate man-smoothie. If you really want to dig out all the metal/bone scraps, be my guest.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dr.sangaygupta on 05 Feb 2008, 16:29
Quote

In terms of relevant points however, here's a question: can zombies swim? I know others have suggested they walk along the bottom since they don't breath, but that wouldn't work because they'd float.

I think they would thrash about and not move much since walking is basic human stuff, while swimming is not burned into your genes.
Since I going with the WWZ theories, I'd have to say eventually they'd all sink to the bottom of the Ocean/River/Lake or whatever body of water you're talking about. Thier lungs/stomachs/body would become water-logged, and they'd sink.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 05 Feb 2008, 18:07
Screw this 9mm pistol bull, if you're going into a zombiepocalypse you better damn well get yourself an MP7 before you do it. Rifle rounds for range and power, 40-round magazines, and the ability to quite literally switch operation from a pistol to a submachine gun in a stance change. Pow pow pow!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 18:15
Do I have to explain again why a submachine gun is absolutely useless against zombies, or would somebody else like to handle this one?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 05 Feb 2008, 18:27
It's already been answered, multiple times, and I have read it. But all these "well if I was in a last-ditch situation I'd make sure to have a Glock 18 in my pocket" brought out my inner gun nerd. Besides, you guys are talking about using WARHAMMERS against zombies. I will be giggling and shooting holes in zombie heads while you get slaughtered because of your shitty backswing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 05 Feb 2008, 18:29
So is zombie tussue stronger than living tissue? Dead bone becomes brittle, is that true for zombies as well?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Feb 2008, 18:33
All normal rules of decomposition apply to the walking dead. It is even accelerated somewhat because of open air and movement whereas a buried corpse would just be sitting there in a box.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 05 Feb 2008, 18:33
@ Melodic

And then you shall be laughed at as you run out of ammo from engaging the zombies in combat and have your brains eaten while the rest of us only use our firearms as a last-minute emergency plan and avoid zombie contact at all costs.

But the War hammer is a pretty bad idea. While it's a perfect weapon to fight zombies with, it's far to heavy to be carried around with you in the wild. An ax is still probably the best weapon to use against zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 05 Feb 2008, 18:37
That's actually one of the biggest points of contention amongst the various materials. Are zombies superhuman in their endurance, strength and durability due to whatever has infected them or are they literally just mobile corpses? It really depends on what you read, but it's a lot more disputed across various stories than stuff like a fear of fire.

An ax is still probably the best weapon to use against zombies.

Not really. An axe isn't meant as a weapon and is liable to get stuck more often than not. If you're talking a battle axe of some sort, well, then you're even worse off than with a war hammer. Those things tend to be huge.

I stand by my belief that the blunt end of a crowbar is about your best means of escaping zombies. It's not likely to put them down permanently, but it'll knock them down quick enough to get away. That's not to say you shouldn't be carrying a hatchet of some sort, though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 05 Feb 2008, 18:43
An axe designed for war is huge and heavy only in fantasy, or for ornate reasons. Historical war axes tend to be around 1.5-2 pounds. Bad for cutting wood, but great for killing.

So what does the Survival guide write about zombies durability? If that is the one we are going to focus on, best to see what it writes.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 05 Feb 2008, 18:48
@ Jon

With a good ax though, you could always hit zombies with the blunt end of the ax, and then decapitate them with the sharp end if you felt you had the chance.

Hooray for versatility!


Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 05 Feb 2008, 18:55
An axe designed for war is huge and heavy only in fantasy
Wait, so you mean Vallejo illustrations aren't real?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dr.sangaygupta on 05 Feb 2008, 19:08
So what does the Survival guide write about zombies durability? If that is the one we are going to focus on, best to see what it writes.

Thier tissue and bone deteriorate at different rates per person. Some would lose almost all their skin tissue, or break bones with a realitivly slight impact, while others would retain the majority of soft tissue and be rather intact. Max Brooks kept this a constant in both novels.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 05 Feb 2008, 19:17
@ Melodic

And then you shall be laughed at as you run out of ammo from engaging the zombies in combat and have your brains eaten while the rest of us only use our firearms as a last-minute emergency plan and avoid zombie contact at all costs.

But the War hammer is a pretty bad idea. While it's a perfect weapon to fight zombies with, it's far to heavy to be carried around with you in the wild. An ax is still probably the best weapon to use against zombies.


I never meant to imply I'd be shooting every Tom, Dick, and Zombie I see, but if I needed to pull a movie-esque last-stand, I'd want an MP7 to do it with.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 05 Feb 2008, 19:30
Wait, so you mean Vallejo illustrations aren't real?

Well the illustrations themselves are real, I suppose. Also, the axe does not look so bad to me http://www.kltr.info/images/eg-vallejo.jpg (http://www.kltr.info/images/eg-vallejo.jpg).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 05 Feb 2008, 19:46
Oh shit, there's a woman in that picture!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dr.sangaygupta on 05 Feb 2008, 20:19
Well, I'm glad gender-confusion was never an issue with Bandito!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Feb 2008, 20:23
...the axe does not look so bad to me

The axe?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 05 Feb 2008, 20:53
War axes are have really thin blades compared to a tool axe. Think meat cleaver. That said, I'd still take a hardware store axe over a wallhanger catalog version of well,  anything.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Feb 2008, 05:46
@ Kim: I'm sorry to say, but I will not be partaking in the man-smoothie you'd make anytime soon, as with my luck I'd get the smoothie consisting of over 39% your junk, and I do not want that in my mouth.

@ Whipstitch: I have to agree with you on this point. Always choose modern technology over artwork anyday.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Feb 2008, 07:42
Wow I ruined that joke, I meant to say axe, there's an axe in that picture.  My one-track mind has failed me.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Feb 2008, 08:13
Wow I ruined that joke, I meant to say axe, there's an axe in that picture.  My one-track mind has failed me.
That's okay. We all saw the hot chick before the axe (cue obligatory impractical armor argument here). What I'd be more concerned with is someone sees that picture and is more aroused by the Pegasus rump in the background.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 06 Feb 2008, 15:25
War axes are have really thin blades compared to a tool axe. Think meat cleaver. That said, I'd still take a hardware store axe over a wallhanger catalog version of well,  anything.

Yeah. My battle axe weighs only a couple of pounds, and it's a rather heavy one. Some of them are incredibly light. War hammers aren't really much heavier. I can carry it round tucked in my belt and not really notice.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Feb 2008, 15:58
Man, I want to start doing a reenactment group again, I'm old enough now to where I could participate as a knight rather than one of the squires..
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 06 Feb 2008, 16:35
@ Kim: I'm sorry to say, but I will not be partaking in the man-smoothie you'd make anytime soon, as with my luck I'd get the smoothie consisting of over 39% your junk, and I do not want that in my mouth.

1. My junk is probably delicious, thanks very much.
2. It's all going to wind up getting shot through as exhaust anyway, and that shit gets to be well above 200ºC. I am going to be nice and cooked.
3. Come on, it's a giant freakin' blender. EVERYBODY'S getting an equal share of my dick.
4. That is pretty awesome now that I realize EVERYBODY WILL BE SUCKIN' ON MAH DICK
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 06 Feb 2008, 20:04
actually, I have a feeling that sooner or later someone in North Korea's gonna get sick of being poor and hungry, overthrow Mr. Il, and have a good ol' barbecue. Who's to say they wouldn't prefer to blend their meat.

But now Patrick-smoothie, well that's another story, after this little discourse nobody will be slurpin' on a Patrick smoothie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 07 Feb 2008, 11:32
Weapons have to be specially designed to stick in things, a good example being broadhead arrows.

Broadhead arrows are in no way designed to stick in things. They're designed to create a larger wound channel so the target bleeds out more quickly and suffers more internal damage. Hunters frequently shoot all the way through deer while hunting with broadheads, which is preferable to having your arrow stuck in the animal. An exist and entrance wound= twice the bleeding.
Anyone who thinks arrows would be good against zombies needs to understand what arrows are designed to do, which is basically stab something from beyond arms reach.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 07 Feb 2008, 11:56
If a broadhead arrow could go straight through a deer, I think it may have a chance of going through a zombie's head enough to sever the connections to kill it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 07 Feb 2008, 12:07
I'm not for bows, remember? I'm the guy with a pistol, hatchet and aluminum baseball bat as primary weapons.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 07 Feb 2008, 12:08
Broadhead arrow head; to aid discussion.
(http://img.alibaba.com/photo/50626830/Broadhead_Arrow_Tip.summ.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 07 Feb 2008, 12:45
You know, as long as we're not engaging directly with large forces and don't especially need a quick drawing ranged weapon, why not a crossbow? You wind it and fire it, and while its not as long range as a bow it doesn't need to be, and will still inflict quite a bit of damage. Or am I completely wrong?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 12:48
How about nunchucks? Or ninja stars? Maybe boomerangs?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 07 Feb 2008, 12:54
I think bows or crossbows would only be of much good if you could hit your target in the head. Since destroying a zombie's heart, lungs, ect doesn't do anything other than put a hole in them arrows would be more or less ineffective. If you can hit a head-sized target with a bow then kudos to you my friend. I cannot, and still think a shotgun would be the way to go, and I'm deffinately with you on the aluminum bat. I see where people are coming from with the axe thing being a good weapon, but I think if you gave most people of the street and axe and had them swing wildly they would end up  chopping their own foot or leg eventually, and a severe cut is not something I would want to deal with in zombacolypse land.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 13:00
Has anyone given any thought to a pesticide sprayer full of flesh eating acid? Or how about waterballoons filled with glue to immobilize them?

If you are to survive the zombocalypse at all you need to... be well trained with the weapons you're carrying.
I really think you guys are overestimating the importance of combat skills for this situation. I mean, these aren't ninjas, these are stupid clumsy zombies. Their combat skills are basically nothing, but they are dangerous because they are nearly impossible to stop and there are so freaking many of them.

As jon has pointed out repeatedly, surviving a zombie apocalypse has little to do with being deadly in battle, and everything to do with being smart.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 07 Feb 2008, 13:06
I disagree. The Aluminum bat is a lightweight weapon that can still be used to apply enough crushing force to knock a zombie down and out of the way. If you don't believe me then let me hit you with a baseball bat. Now, while it won't necessarily kill one with a single blow, that's NOT WHAT YOU'RE AIMING TO DO. Unless of course the zombie is by itself, then feel free to turn its head into mush while its on the ground from temporary loss of motor control from the first hit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 15:11
I never said it was a bad thing. I was disputing your claim that one needs to be a well-trained warrior in order to survive.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 07 Feb 2008, 15:36
What do you do then? Go veggie?

Yeah I'm with Jon, if there's cross-species contamination, I am killing myself and looking like a badass motherfucker doing it. No flesh, no food, PERIOD.
Ring trick?

Melodic, no, the MP7 does not have rifle range or power. It has less than pistol capability for creating a wound channel, less than pistol force, less than rifle range (I think about magnum pistol range, 150-200 yards), and a lot of hype by people that have watched future weapons. I won't volunteer to stand still and get shot at by it, but same goes for BB guns, and I am not taking one of those as a weapon other than a club. It can pierce armor, sure, but you aren't worrying about body armor on a zombie, since you have to shoot it in the head anyway.

While I have a hammer, I would not take it over a baseball bat, it has less reach than a bat, the sledgehammer we have lying around has more, but it also weighs a lot more, I can make quicker strikes with a bat. Another aspect is that I know that bat like the back of my hand, I know precisely where the sweet spot will impact, while I don't know the reach of the hammer that well. The only advantage of the hammer is the ability to put it on your belt. Granted, that is good, since you don't have a bottomless inventory, but I would try to figure out a good way to carry the bat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 07 Feb 2008, 16:11
Admittedly I was exaggerating when I said that a PDW has the same pros as a traditional assault rifle like the M16, but I stay by support of the MP7 as the perfect anti-zombie weapon. It has a range of about 200m, which is what I'd call maximum range for zombie-hunting, because engaging at anything longer than that against a target that is effectively the size of a baseball is a waste of ammunition (unless you bring out the big-caliber guns and decide to literally tear the undead apart from outwards of a mile). And, quite frankly, if slow, shambling corpse-eaters were over 200 meters away, I wouldn't give a damn trying to kill them anyways: they aren't my problem.

And while the 4.6mm round IS primarily an armor-piercing round, it carries twice the ballistic velocity of traditional pistols (more than three times that of the Colt 1911), and it seems like zombies don't really care how BIG the hole in their head is, as long as it's there. Even so, I'm fairly certain that if I was up against the undead and managed to find me an MP7, I'd find some spoon-tip rounds to blast big empties.

The best reason I can come up with for the MP7 being my weapon of choice is its size: I'd really hate to think that I'd be cornered by slow zombies in the middle of Times Square, or in an open field: if I'm getting jumped by the undead, it will be indoors and in close spaces. I can pump an awful lot of 4.6 into a zombie when he bursts out of a closet, but if I was carrying an M16, it would just get in the way.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 07 Feb 2008, 17:01
Why are you guys talking about engaging zombies from a distance?  Why not just run?

In the event of a zombie holocaust my priorities would be:
- getting the fuck away from zombies
- trying to contact my loved ones to see if they are ok/need help
- getting the fuck away from zombies
- protecting myself from other, less benevolent survivors
- eking out a meagre existence as far away from any fucking zombies as I can manage

A short list of things not included:
- looking really cool
- trying to be a goddamn hero
- fucking about with weapons (other than using them to protect myself if necessary)
- killing lots of zombies to have fun/prove how badass I am

If (and only if) a group of my friends/relatives somehow miraculously survived and we re-settled some place remote and built some kind of fenced/gated/walled village and had to protect it then perhaps I would be interested in taking down approaching zombies from a distance.  Even then I would be far more interested in some kind of pit/moat or finding a more sustainable solution than projectile weaponry.  A corridor of large rotating knives, for example.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 07 Feb 2008, 17:50
I didn't make myself clear.  I am not disparaging taking a pistol as a ranged weapon, I agree that having a pistol would be aces.  I don't have any access to one so I can't even begin to think about using one, but if I did then I would.  I am trying to say that talk of using bows and arrows or submachine guns against zombies far enough away that you could avoid them is crazytalk.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 07 Feb 2008, 18:38
I sincerely doubt any average joe could swing his way through, say, 10 zombies and not fuck up ONCE enough to get himself bit, and eventually you ARE going to have to face a pack o' undead.

Let's look at it this way: say I live in Manhattan, and I'm trying to escape. I get in my car and start driving the fuck away, but my path is blocked almost immediately by a dozen or so zombies on the road. I have a few options:

A) drive through them, possibly sustain damage to the car and worsen my chances of getting far enough away to take a piss in safety.
B) get out of the car, march up to them, and start swinging with a hammer/hatchet/nerdy LARP weapon, use my mastery of kung-fu to avoid being bitten, and smash/sever some skulls.
C) get out of the car, take out my submachine gun, and carefully pop off a dozen rounds.

C sounds pretty nice to me.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 18:53
You forgot option D: drive down a different street.

Really though, in that scenario you are going to be blocked off more by other people fleeing than you will be by zombies. Besides, your scenario requires that you have a submachine gun on you at all times and happen to have it when you are starting to flee from the zombies.

If however you don't already have a submachine gun, then I submit that you are better off fleeing without one than spending time scrounging around trying to get one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 07 Feb 2008, 19:10
My weapons would be a katana, a revolver, and a trenchcoat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 07 Feb 2008, 19:11
I still say that I could probably swing a bat faster than I could an axe or even a hatchet, and really there is no need ro a multiple purpose for it, its light enough to where its zombie clearing purposes are enough to make it useful. Its light enough to where I could carry the smaller multipurpose hatchet and still not feel the weight from either of them. And in the case with your four options, I'm going to drive through the fucking zombies, the car won't be any use to me anyway if I'm dead from getting out of it. And in a situation where there's a pack of zombies, I will exhaust every other possibility before I engage them, make no mistake. If it comes down to it I'll pick off the few with my pistol as I'm able and take the rest out if I can, because if I'm down to that I'm dead one way or another and fighting them enough to push through them is the only viable option. Say there are ten zombies in an alley. if the absolute only way out of it is through them, I'm going to go into a running tackling stance rather than a bat swinging one after I've emptied my clip into a few skulls, because it would do absolutely no good to try and fight through them, unless a couple were in front of the others. And if I did use my bat it would be to try and get by, I wouldn't try to engage them all, just try and force through a hole in their ranks. Now, admittedly a submachine gun at head level in that alleyway with the shots as controlled as possible would be a welcome addition, but you know what? Where the fuck in hell am I going to get an MP7? Its far more likely that I'll have a pistol.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 07 Feb 2008, 19:16
Has NOBODY seen Dawn of the Dead? Wherever you are, there is a gun store in close proximity to your location. Make sure to buy a certified zombie-proof map before making your daring escape!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 19:20
I think we should make a website. Sort of like how there are websites that use Google maps to show where the nearest movie theater is or whatever, we need a website where you can quickly find where the nearest gun store is, and also a few other resources that are useful in a zombie outbreak.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 07 Feb 2008, 19:21
Joe hit my biggest gripe on the head. The vast majority of people do not have guns or access to guns. Even those who do, you've got a higher likelihood of being caught without said gun than with it, unless you're a cop, military officer or nutjob who carries it at all times.

If I really wanted, I live about two blocks away from a police station (Which is, in point of fact, directly on my route out of the city). For the sake of argument, I could, with the brightest strokes of luck, get access to a gun in a zombie outbreak. However, I would have to get from here to said police station unscathed, get into the police station and then find and gain access to the weapons room.

Sure, it's in the realm of possibility, but it's unsafe, unsure and taking up valuable time that would likely be better served outright escaping.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 07 Feb 2008, 19:33
That is one of my biggest gripes re: this thread also.  There are things I have presently and there are things I could get with little to no difficulty in order to plan for such a thing.  A gun is probably not one of them.  Of any kind, especially not a fucking submachine gun or someshit like that.  I could probably get some kind of target/competition shooting gun for use at a range, but that would probably be very low calibre and next to useless against zombies  :(

It would be great for me to say "ok guys, I am putting together a go-bag in case of zombie infestation.  In it I have an AK-47, a few berettas, ammunition, a couple of ball-peen hammers, a baseball bat, some canned food and a can-opener, some empty bottles for water, etc etc etc" but I may as well add onto the end of that "and then I am going to fly away in my fucking Apache attack helicopter and live happily ever after" because it's just not realistic.  Hammers, baseball bats and crowbars I have/can get.  Pistols, rifles and tactical thermonuclear weaponry, not so much.

Hell, if I am being picky even riding off on a motorbike is a bit iffy at the moment seeing as I do not currently own one.  But at least I could at some point buy one in order for it to be included in my plans.  Sure, this is a theoretical fantasy thread, whatever.  But isn't the entire point of a modern-day zombie setting to make your plans feasible?  Else I'm just gonna start casting "turn undead" and smiting and shit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 07 Feb 2008, 19:36
Oh also I will take the domains "Good" and "Repose" thx.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 19:42
Else I'm just gonna start casting "turn undead" and smiting and shit.
Your reference to DnD is making me think very condescending (and very nerdy) thoughts about munchkins. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchkin_(role-playing_games))
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: BobJoeJim on 07 Feb 2008, 19:58
To everyone claiming that one downside of a baseball bat is that it is useless outside of combat, whereas an axe is a potentially valuable tool, I have just one question.  How the fuck are you supposed to play baseball without a bat?  If the zombie apocalypse leads to a world in which it is impossible to play baseball, I'm killing myself even faster than I would in a world where you can no longer eat meat.

Seriously, though, the reason I'm going with a baseball bat as my melee weapon of choice is that unlike any of the other proposed options, I have one in my bedroom.  Additionally I have spent my entire life learning to feel comfortable with a baseball bat in my hands, learning exactly what the reach of a baseball bat is, learning to swing a baseball bat accurately, etcetera.  I would not recommend a baseball bat as the optimal choice to Average Joe off the street, but for me I definitely think it's the best option I could go with (though of course I'll be doing my best not to ever have to use it).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: est on 07 Feb 2008, 20:07
See, I see a bat as a good weapon, or at least a good starter weapon.  You pick it up from your room, grab a few supplies and put them into a backpack & you're set.  You can walk/ride through the city/suburbia with it and the people who don't yet know there's a zombie outbreak will not panic/give you shit about it.  You can start evacuation before shit goes down and yet still have a weapon on-hand in case you run into an area where shit is going down.

Also, what about a decent mountain bike for transport?  We've been talking about a motorbike, but a mountain bike doesn't require fuel and is less complex to operate.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 07 Feb 2008, 20:10
Actually, I mentioned that earlier. Aside from being less complex, it also has three distinct advantages:

1. Does not need refueling.
2. Can be easily lifted over obstacles if time is permitting.
3. Is about the easiest transport to find and commandeer. There are bicycles everywhere and if you absolutely have to abandon yours, you should be able to find a replacement if necessary.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Feb 2008, 20:11
You can walk/ride through the city/suburbia with it and the people who don't yet know there's a zombie outbreak will not panic/give you shit about it.
On the one hand that is a great point and I hadn't considered that. On the other hand, I don't think there'd be much outcry over walking around with an axe either. At least not if I were carrying casually. I mean sure, people would freak out if I were walking around like I'm ready to hack someone's head off, but then they'd be just as freaked out by me walking around with a baseball bat in that same stance.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 07 Feb 2008, 20:19
Dude are you serious? If I walked around my neighborhood with an ax, people would probably be like "Holy shit what the fuck you have an ax get the fuck away from me."

But I think that point is irrelevant. I highly doubt there is gonna be much downtime between the start of the zombie apocalypse and worldwide infestation. And even if there is, you'd probably hear about it when it's to late to worry about walking down the neighborhood with an ax.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 07 Feb 2008, 21:39
I understand the idea about using what you have, which is why I like the idea of firearms and a baseball bat. Two things I have access to without getting 15 feet from my bed. Things I can get immediately in the event of a zombie attack.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 07 Feb 2008, 22:20
I've got a Colt 1911 in the cabinet in my hallway (completely legally, I might add. Also in that cabinet is a folder full of papers that say I'm allowed to own this thing). If a zombie outbreak gets going, I go oldschool on their asses.

PS: I'm totally making a Google Earth escape plan right now.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 07 Feb 2008, 23:38
Guys, fucking seriously. Have you ever seen a guy being beaten with a baseball bat? I have. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KILL THE ZOMBIES FAST ENOUGH. Hell, just a sturdy stick will serve you better than a baseball bat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 08 Feb 2008, 00:49
Google Earth is a great idea.

So here's my plan (and you can find all the essential elements on Google Earth!).

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I'm very close to a perfect anti-zombie fort.  It is at the following coordinates:
S University Ave @39.943920, -75.196580 (Philadelphia PA).

Doing a Google Earth search of that location will actually give you a picture of the structure.  It's an oval steel wall 40 feet tall and vertically corrugated, making it utterly unclimbable.  On the inside there's a sizable air-conditioning plant (read: near-infinite water supply) as well as an open area large enough to land a helicopter in.  It's absolutely secure if the doors are locked, and it's right next to and allows access to an elevated freight track (which I would expect to be a good way to get around a zombie-infested city, considering that there's hardly ever anything alive up there to begin with) that furthermore allows access across the river into the downtown area as well as into the suburbs.

The best part is that it's a 5 minute run or 2 minute bike ride from where I live (3914 Spruce St, 5 blocks away) and very few people know it exists, despite driving past it on a daily basis.  In other words, within 15 minutes of hearing about zombies, I am secure.  Not necessarily armed, or with enough food to last more than a week or two, but at least secure and hydrated for a few days without worry.

I feel like that's as good a start as I can hope for, considering the fact that I live in a city and my transportation is limited to a bike.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ZeikHunter on 08 Feb 2008, 01:58
Cool, something I actually know something about. I haven't read the entire thread, but I'm guessing its mostly people outlining their plans. So here's mine.

Short Term: Gather available & mobile family (sorry grandma), load into truck, and proceed to an associates' house (approx 4 mi down 1 road). He's well stocked for the short term (approx 2 weeks) and lives in an easily defensible cul-de-sac with LEOs and former military. Once in position, I'll cover the exposed rear of the house from the second-story window, overlooking the backyard and empty lot. He and his wife will cover the front of the home.

Long Term: One of my associates' neighbors has a vehicle suitable for transporting 20-30 persons safely from our location to suitable property in the NW United States. Long-term survival in my current location is unfeasible without undue risk.

Weapons include semiautomatic rifles, pistols, and explosive devices. Bladed and blunt impact weapons are not believed to be effective counter-zombie devices, seeing as how the most likely method of infection occurs with close contact, or contact with contaminated biological matter, a standoff of 5-10 meters is preferred.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ledhendrix on 08 Feb 2008, 02:37
Either find a place with a large circular pit around it encompassing plenty of land (You could drain a moat around a castle) or dig your own, making sure there is a drawbridge so as you and your already appropriated lorry can go on food runs to the nearest town/city. Once there are to  many zombies in the pit that they are drawing close to the rim, set fire to them or mash them to pieces. Zombies would make excellent fertilizer for growing your crops.

 Or find a sparsely populated island to set up home and either make friends with someone that can fly a helicopter/learn to fly the helicopter yourself, or get a boat. Eventually fuel would become an issue but by that time you would have been established on the island long enough that you would have built up considerable supplies and started growing crops and even farming your own meat. A zombiepoccalipse would eventually just end up in people having to move back to what things would have been like before the technological revolution and being a quick learner would probably be one of the most sought after skills. I agree that an axe probably would be the best sort of weapon, but the only times you would need it would be when you are leaving your vehicle to re-fuel on the way to your island, pit encircled community so it would not need to be used a hell of a lot anyway.

Basically reading The Day of the Triffids and taking notes would be a good start as Triffids are basically bad ass zombies with the ability to reproduce.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ZeikHunter on 08 Feb 2008, 03:00
If that's your plan, you should probably read the rest of the thread.
OK, I got as far as Lye Moats and Sentry Turrets, I just can't do it. .22/5.56 rounds do not 'tumble' in flesh and your average flea market sword will snap quicker than an aluminum bat on a kid's back.

So what do you think is wrong with my plan? Is it the fact that I'm using firearms, the fact that I'm using transportation, or the fact that I have a group of fellow former military folks to work with? This is what we came up with, if you've got an improvement, I'd really love to hear it.

Also, in my case "zombie attack" can also be read as "natural disaster" or "civil unrest", which are much more likely to occur, I think.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 08 Feb 2008, 03:01
The reason he told you to read the thread is because "what is wrong with your plan" has just been beaten to death across the last five pages.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ZeikHunter on 08 Feb 2008, 03:22
The reason he told you to read the thread is because "what is wrong with your plan" has just been beaten to death across the last five pages.
Well call me dense, or a noob, or whatever, but I'm not seeing it. At least, not seeing anything I can justify as an argument against my plan's outline. The bug-out opord is, of course, more detailed than my original post, but I figured the basic outline would get the idea across.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 08 Feb 2008, 04:02
Also no need to quote the post right above you.

I believe the synopsis is: avoid the zombies at all costs. You can assume that the noise from the gunshot(s) would attract other zombies. You can also assume that unless you are going up in flames in a spectacular death scene, what time you would use to be shooting should be using to get the fuck away from them. You can safely assume that if you are far enough away to need a ranged shot you should just outrun them. Guns can be used to defend some sort of base, but bases can be compromised and/or become prisons if they are eventually surrounded. Etc etc etc.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 08 Feb 2008, 04:44
There's also the 'ammunition' thing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 08 Feb 2008, 06:31
New dude, off the topic of the thread: being condescending in your first few posts is not the way to win friends anywhere, much less this place.

Secondly, your zombie plan is shit.

You're coming off as trying too hard to take it as a military operation. It isn't. The hypothetical zombie scenario is not against free thinking, intelligent creatures. You're overthinking it and that leads to death. Ever notice how it's almost always the military guys and police officers who get killed off first in a zombie movie? That's cause they're trained in combat against humans and you seem to be rather overconfident.

Your plan sounds suitable for holding off human targets, not zombies. Firing off rounds is only going to attract more and more zombies and you're going to have to sleep sometime, they don't. I figure if your planned initial destination were inaccessible from the ground floor, you would have pointed that out. Within a couple days of shooting stragglers, you're going to have dozens of the fuckers bearing down on you. Sure, you'll pick off a couple here and there, but once a couple slip through, they're going to get in and devour your entire group. For that matter, are you considering an exact amount of people you're bringing compared to that two weeks' worth of food? Unless this dude's living in a bomb shelter, that two weeks' worth of food becomes increasingly less likely to sustain any sizable group for two weeks. Especially considering you're talking about a vehicle capable of holding 20-30 people. Unless the guy's living in a mansion, you're not going to be able to maintain that many people. You should never, in any circumstance, deal with a situation like that with any more than a dozen people. Tensions will run high and problems will arise.

The next big problem, and probably the biggest, is the transport. It's hard enough to manuever a sedan through blocked highways, you are not getting something big enough to carry that many people down a blocked highway, especially heading for the Northwest US. Secondly, did you even consider fuel? Unless you are intimately familiar with the entire route and all possible detours you may have to make in order to get around blocked roads, you are absolutely fucked on that. Do you really like the idea of running out of gas halfway through the Nevada desert with 20+ people to take care of? This leads me to my last point as to what's wrong here: supplies. If you get stranded or run out of gas, you are fucked for supplies. Even with the world's absolute greatest luck, it's still going to probably take you close to a week to get up there. Can you carry enough supplies to last your entire group that way? What if you hit one of the myriad snags that would come up? Is your dwindling supply going to hold out? Do you have ample supplies for when you arrive at your destination?

The last part of your post is where it really falls apart. Seriously, read the fucking thread, man. Explosives? What in the fuck are you going to use explosives for? Maybe occasionally clearing wreckage, but that's a pretty rotten idea. Explosives aren't going to do shit against a zombie, you need to destroy the head. You shouldn't BE engaging them unless they're getting close to begin with, which is why a close quarters weapon is always going to be the optimal choice over a firearm. They don't make noise, they're usually lighter and they serve multiple uses (Such as a crowbar or hatchet). You're not supposed to be fucking Rambo. You're not going to survive if you try to off every zombie you encounter, you should be running.

To summarize: your zombie plan is shit, read the thread or the Zombie Survival Guide.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 08 Feb 2008, 06:56
Do you think a sports store attendant will ask me to leave if I ask them to explain to me how good a baseball bat or cricket bat is as a weapon?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: OnewingedAngel on 08 Feb 2008, 07:20
Depends on whether they are a believer in your cause or not.

Hmm, I'd have to go to Los Angeles harbor or Marina Del Rey or something to steal a boat. No way am I going to try and find shelter in Los Angeles. Otherwise I'm flying to Philadelphia and associated bunker. I'll bring twinkies. Lots of them.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 08 Feb 2008, 07:40
How do you propose surviving on a boat? How do you plan on getting a plane to Philadelphia, are you a pilot?

For that matter, why would you go from one overrun city to another? That doesn't even make sense. If there's a bunker there, it'll either be overrun or full of survivors before you even get there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: OnewingedAngel on 08 Feb 2008, 07:49
Actually, i do have my pilots license. So that is theoretically possible. I have not taken into account the location of the original breakout, so if it happened here first, I might get to philly in time. If it happened say, there, my plan would be up a creek without a paddle. I think I may just go to my office and destroy the stairs. (yes I've already figured out how). After raiding the ralphs across the street of course.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 08 Feb 2008, 07:59
I've become pretty convinced that if your plan is going to involve a lot of ground travel you're best off doing it by yourself with a light truck with some modest offroading ability while offering enough storage for supplies and extra fuel or a small car or stationwagon with great fuel efficiency--the big thing to remember though is you're going for effective range, not necessarily raw fuel efficiency, since your goal is to be able to carry enough fuel to avoid getting stranded in the event of a setback, not save pennies. It's pretty important not to be afraid of cars with small engines either, since the most common complaint about such vehicles is that they're nimble but have "sluggish engines and passing." Which, of course doesn't mean shit because you'll be driving conservatively for maximum fuel effiency and safety. The world's fastest sprinters can't hit 30 mph for even brief periods, so it's not like you need a bad ass road machine to outrun a freakin' zombie. I think it really needs to be sressed though that the traveling plan is pretty damn terrible if you don't know what you're doing, and even then there's some obvious risks. Basically, if you've never changed a tire and you'd never heard about fuel stabilizers until reading this sentence, the post-zompocalypse nomad plan definitely isn't for you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 08 Feb 2008, 09:08
Guys, fucking seriously. Have you ever seen a guy being beaten with a baseball bat? I have.

1) Aluminum or wood?

2) Also, whoever you saw being beaten with the bat wasn't a decomposing creature from beyond the grave.

A bat is better than no weapon. At the very least you can knock them away and make an escape route for yourself. That's what's important.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 08 Feb 2008, 09:26
Guys, fucking seriously. Have you ever seen a guy being beaten with a baseball bat? I have. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KILL THE ZOMBIES FAST ENOUGH. Hell, just a sturdy stick will serve you better than a baseball bat.

They actually tested this very thing on that discovery channel show "Smash Lab" not too long ago. They were trying to find out whether a hockey stick or a baseball bat did more damage when hitting a human face. The sturdy stick did 250 times less damage than the bat. Like I an others have already mentioned, we like bats because we already have them. Not everyone has bladed pole arms or axes laying around their apartment/house.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 08 Feb 2008, 09:35
The aluminum versus wooden thing is a big part of it.

As someone who routinely plays baseball and softball when I get the chance, I would much rather be hit with an aluminum bat than a wooden bat. There's a reason the MLB uses wooden bats: they're heavier and have a stronger impact. Sure, they're more likely to crack, but a wooden bat, while staying lightweight, will do more damage. A wooden bat may splinter, but an aluminum bat is likely to just simply cave after as much use.

When using a bat as a weapon, you wouldn't want to do a full follow through for two reasons:

1. It's going to make it more likely to splinter or break.
2. You're going to throw yourself off balance, possibly tripping or losing control of the bat.

It really should be thought of in terms of playing baseball, which is what the bat is for in the first place. The guys you see breaking bats are the big power hitters and guys who rake home runs. That's because they're putting all their force behind it and the impact is a strain on the bat. Meanwhile, contact hitters don't often get a crack unless they catch a really fast pitch. It's still enough force to send the ball flying a good 150+ feet into the outfield. While a zombie's head is a lot heavier and more durable than a baseball, it's also not traveling at you at 75-95 MPH when you impact. I myself tend to be a contact hitter as I only weigh a little under 160 pounds. I used the same wooden bat for about six years before it splintered and even then, it merely cracked after I tried to get under a 70 MPH or so curve ball that I took on the inside part of the bat. From that, I ended up finally outright breaking it a few weeks later when I tested the durability against a pine tree (Took close to a dozen cuts before it broke).

Using only enough force to knock down and temporarily immobilize a zombie, that bat isn't going to break any time soon. The force of impact, though, is going to clear a path for you, at least. You're not trying to knock their head off, just hit them hard enough to knock them away from you. That won't be sufficient force to break the bat.

Also, the big reason the bat outlasted the hockey stick is because a bat is much thicker and more stout. The impact area is a lot thicker where there's no real specific damaging spot on a hockey stick. If someone hits you in the knee with one, it'll do major damage, but a hockey stick's liable to crack in half over someone's back, where a wooden bat would not.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Oli on 08 Feb 2008, 10:19
Also bats are relatively easy to find in most places I would imagine so even if yours does break you can grab another one without too much hassle. Although I suppose the same can be said for axes.

Personally I'll be holing up in the billiard room with a lead pipe.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 08 Feb 2008, 10:24
Y'know, there's been a lot of talk about weapons, but have people discussed basic survival gear? I mean, certain things are obvious (eg. water containers) but other things are a little less obvious.

I was imagining coming across a store or something that I want to scrounge in, and I would definitely want to spend a while observing it from a distance, and for that I'd need binoculars.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 08 Feb 2008, 10:48
FAIL PROOF PLAN IN CASE OF ZOMBIES

1) hang around for a while and watch shit hit the fan just for fun

2) kill myself
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 08 Feb 2008, 10:55
I hope the zombocolypse happens while I'm at work at the clinic and I can immediately begin looting medical supplies, then run away before people just beginning to feel the effects of zombie bites come in for treatment. I imagine that any sort of clinic/hospital would be an insane bloodbath once all the freshly bitten patients turned into full fledged living dead.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 08 Feb 2008, 11:21
.22/5.56 rounds do not 'tumble' in flesh
And that would be how I know you don't know what you are talking about. Almost all FMJs will tumble when they hit flesh, the .45 is the one exception I know off the top of my head. JHPs don't do so as often, but they make a big hole anyway, due to the expansion.

Obsession, I object to the idea that you are a nutjob if you carry a gun or have one near you, in most states in the US, it is possible to get a license to carry a weapon concealed, and people with carry licenses actually have a lot lower crime rate than people without.

Khar, no I have not seen someone getting beaten with a bat, but I have seen skinny kids send baseballs flying 200+ feet with an aluminum bat, and I doubt I would appreciate having that happen to me.

Anyone know how durable bamboo is relative to standard bat woods? I have a bamboo bat, it is lighter than average wood, and is a dream to use. Though I suppose it would be a nightmare should I have to be using it on zombies.

I think that this debate would be much easier if this forum weren't so international, I always forget how many people live in places where it is almost impossible to get guns here, so I wonder what they are talking about when they say that they couldn't get one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 08 Feb 2008, 11:32
Well, I have the enviroment on my side. Surrounded by 3/4 valleys with about 40 people in each, and 4 local villages with about 200-400 each, within 5 or so miles. Of course, it would be tricky to obtain enough food, but I will think on that one. Water is no problem, IMO- our water comes from a spring water source. We have enough raw materials to turn our house into a fort, but if we thought that was too much of a risk we could travel at least 15 miles in any direction without encountering any human/zombie life. I think the main thing on my side is the fact that due to the low level of human activity around where I live, we would have at least a week or so before a zombie stumbled our way.

What are you guys doing in the long term? Like, where are you staying, sleeping, eating?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: SonofZ3 on 08 Feb 2008, 12:15
I think that this debate would be much easier if this forum weren't so international, I always forget how many people live in places where it is almost impossible to get guns here, so I wonder what they are talking about when they say that they couldn't get one.

You and me both. I live in a state where the first day of Buck season is a holiday. Thats right kids, public schools are let out so people with firearms can shoot animals. As this is the case, the general populace I would be part of in case of zombocolypse would have firearms.

bbqrocks: My parents have a cabin we would utilize, its only 7 miles from the nearest town but still enjoys the stand alone comforts of well water and heating with wood and fuel oil tanks. I would hate to be stuck in an urban center though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 08 Feb 2008, 12:54
I would prefer to avoid any place where

Quote
As this is the case, the general populace I would be part of in case of zombocolypse would have firearms.

is an accurate statement, since I figure it would probably be easier to get shot by an idiot than eaten by a zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 08 Feb 2008, 12:59
I was bored after my test yesterday, so I mapped the best escape routes outta town.  My plans have changed slightly for the Zombie outbreak.

Also, if I end up surrounded, and low on ammunition, I'll just do the Thriller dance.  
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 08 Feb 2008, 16:09
Hell, I live in CANADA and I own a damn transport permit. Canada, where you cannot piss without a dozen documents explaining that it will not hurt other people.

Also, I don't get this business that firearms AREN'T a valid form of last-minute defense. You seem to think that the only applicable situation for firing a gun is when the enemy is beyond a range to worry about them, but that's completely false. Also, I think the bat's a damn good CQC weapon when you're on the move, because your objective ISN'T to kill the damn thing, it's to get it out of your way and move on. A bat won't get stuck, it's long enough to keep you out of bite range, and it gets the zombie the fuck outta your way.

Also, assuming that these zombies are the traditional "slow" type (ala the original Dawn of the Dead), traffic congestion shouldn't be as terrible as it would be if they were "fast" zombies (ala the remake). Remember the scenes before the opening credits to Dawn (2004) where people are fucking up on the road and blowing shit up? I don't think that would happen to as dramatic an extent if the zombies weren't in "hot" pursuit.

Anyways, my plan's still the same. Gather up the folks and head for Virginia and the Greenbrier Hotel.
(Zombie Earth map on the way).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 08 Feb 2008, 19:01
Y'know, there's been a lot of talk about weapons, but have people discussed basic survival gear? I mean, certain things are obvious (eg. water containers) but other things are a little less obvious.

I was imagining coming across a store or something that I want to scrounge in, and I would definitely want to spend a while observing it from a distance, and for that I'd need binoculars.

-Rope. Carabiners would be handy as well, I think, even for just securing things regardless of whether you know harness knots or how to climb rocks.
-A can/tin opener for tinned food. It would probably be a good idea to have some sort of vessel like a single small pot to cook in, as well, because of the need to heat things to kill pathogens before you eat them, although if you boil everything you can just go find some skunk cabbage leaves and boil stuff in the leaves (it's true, it works!). Having a pot means you could also eat out of it, especially if you needed to make a soup if you got sick.
-Some sort of first-aid kit in a waterproof pack, with an ace bandage (http://images1.comstock.com/Imagewarehouse/BX/SITECS/NLWMCompingVersions/28001-28250/bxp28224.jpg) and some clean gauze and prepackaged alcohol wipes and bandaids/plasters. Hydrogen Peroxide would be ideal, especially if you are living outside most of the time, because a lot of the cuts and scrapes will get dirt and shit in them and the bubbles are more effective at cleaning them than alcohol. Also I guess you could do away with the medicinal alcohol if you couldn't get any or used it up if you had access to some high-content vodka or bourbon or something.
-A waterproof tarp. You cover your supplies with it during the day when you are carrying them around, and you cover your shelter with it at night or whenever you have to sleep.
-Dental floss. Having some sort of synthetic fiber, especially one as thin as this, is a good idea for repairs on fabrics and things like your tarpaulin.
-A stainless steel needle, size is irrelevant although larger would make it harder to lose. You will need this until you can figure out how to make them out of bone like the Native Americans did, or suddenly acquire metalworking skills in the middle of nowhere and can thus produce your own.
-Hatchet. You need firewood, end of story. You can also substitute a standard axe or machete, if you have one.
-Flint and steel, or some other water-resistant method of producing fire.
-A small bladed knife. Trying to do things like split twigs or twist-poke holes in blocks of wood with the corner of an axe blade or a machete is murder and you are more likely to injure yourself than succeed. Also good for standard cutting, peeling a few vegetables, cutting food, cleaning fingernails, building traps for small animals, and making small and narrow cuts in skin for things like snakebites or nasty infections.

I can't think of anything else off the top of my head right now, because obviously water containers and a pack to carry this stuff in have been mentioned and you would already have them.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 08 Feb 2008, 19:48
Waterproof= win! Even if it's just mostly waterproof. I keep a couple bright orange heavy duty leaf bags folded up in the pocket of any light jacket I wear these days. Is it raining? Tear a hole in that sucker and toss it over your head. Instant ghetto poncho. Lost in the boundary waters 'cuz you're a friggin' idiot like my cousin? Tear that baby into strips and you have a bright orange impromptu flag and something to sit on to help keep you from getting anymore cold and damp than your sorry ass already is. I mean, I know that last one's only tangentially zombie related, but it's seriously pretty useful even if the zompocalypse never comes and as cheap a stopgap solution as there is in this world. I mean, hell, a garbage bag is like the one thing on the planet you're practically guaranteed to find while dumpster diving, so even hobos can get one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 08 Feb 2008, 20:27
Also, if I end up surrounded, and low on ammunition, I'll just do the Thriller dance. 
Best.

Plan.

Ever.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 03:28
I think a pretty useful weapon would be a sawed down (to about 3/5 of size) empty barbell, with one small weight secured on the end. It would be light but good for smashing skulls.

And we english have cricket bats too.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 09 Feb 2008, 06:06
And, as an added bonus, between zombies, you could improve your muscular physique!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 06:20
Y'know, there's been a lot of talk about weapons, but have people discussed basic survival gear?

Except for rations I still have all my outdoor survival gear from cadets. That means I'm set for outdoor living in weather ranging from hot to alpine, travelling up and down the country, and raiding quiet places for food. Also I think such as a common pole would be a good weapon - crack a zombie knee, put out zombie eyes and it makes it very difficult for them to follow you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 06:33
What about an oil rig? I'm sure if you took about 15 people and as much longlasting food as everyone could get, you could survive for a very long time.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 06:48
What about the ISS?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 07:05
Well, you would get to an oil rig on a boat, then you could get away on a boat if it started to corrode and fall away. It would give you and a couple more people at least a year or two away from any zombie threats.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 07:26
Oil rigs are usually reached by helicopter.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 07:35
But you can reach them by boat, right?

Anyways, yes a sizable boat. Big enough for 15 people, and lots of food supplies. And you don't need to run it, just stay there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 07:41
If you think you can navigate a boat to a tiny structure out at sea.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 08:04
Yes, there are lots of flaws in the idea. It was just a suggestion.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 08:30
What about them scientific bases at the north pole? If you could get there in a boat, and to the base, I assume you would be quite safe.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 08:49
heehee, zombie penguins.
How long do zombies last, anyways?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 09 Feb 2008, 09:21
And cold. Man, so cold.

If I was headed for a small structure or place in the middle of an ocean I'd just as soon head for an island as well as an oil rig. Better scenery, more chance that I could find food on it, And steel is cold, man.

Plus, you might be able to live on an oil rig, but not without food. You'd either have to cart it all with you or make frequent trips to shore to get it, and it would be really really hard to gather up enough for that many people.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 10:52
Ooh, there's an airport near me - about 20 minutes away by bike.  I could maybe fly somewhere?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 09 Feb 2008, 11:04
Fucking Greenbrier, guys. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Greenbrier)

Also, the amount of gear you'd need to survive in the Antarctic is totally disproportional to the amount of safety it offers, not to mention you're FUBAR on food unless you like hunting peguins.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 11:25
Unless you went to one of them scientific bases, right?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 09 Feb 2008, 11:32
Which is still easily accessible as long as your favorite local airline still makes routine trips to the Arctic during a zombie outbreak. Right? Even with this talk of civilian pilots I don't think actually getting to these mystical research bases is feasible, and outside of flying you WILL need a bunch of equipment to make the trek (assuming we're talking boats, then snowmobiles or something). There are equally remote/inaccessible locations that don't require days of crossing a harsh environment, and are much closer to food sources.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 09 Feb 2008, 11:35
It all depends on how prepared you already are. If the zombie outbreak can wait long enough for me to go through college and get my own apartment and a nice job, I will start to prepare for a trek to the North. Really, it isn't that hard to survive in cold weather as long as you have the proper equipment and survival skills. If you were to get far enough up North you could either wait out the winter (If that's when you arrive.) or if it isn't winter yet, build yourself a damn cabin. Once again, this isn't too hard, it's just time-consuming. I assume that a coniferous forest would not run out of pine any time soon, amirite?
A tundra would be a great place to go if you know a weather facility of some sort.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 09 Feb 2008, 11:36
Melodic hits it right on the head. Yes, the arctic is very hostile towards zombies because they are dead humans. The cold will kill you before it freezes a zombie if you're not prepared and the level of preparation involved in surviving in the arctic for a prolonged period of time is simply not feasible.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 09 Feb 2008, 11:41
I disagree. It is completely feasible if you have enough manpower and preparation. It would just be extremely time-consuming an endeavor as well as monetarily-consuming. Of course, your chance of survival up there would be about the same as anywhere with the undead, because you would be fighting the weather instead of the outbreak.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 11:47
What if you just stayed hidden inside your own home? Seriously, what are the chances of a zombie coming and trying to get in if they don't even know you are there?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 09 Feb 2008, 11:50
Even if zombies didn't inevitably come into your house (They would find out eventually.) you would not do yourself well in your own home. The worst thing about an outbreak is humanity. Humanity will kill you. They will loot your house, kill you, and rape you. Also, staying in your home, you will run out of provisions and starve, or have to leave eventually.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 09 Feb 2008, 11:57
I shall provide the first post-apocalyptic take-away service.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 09 Feb 2008, 11:59
I think I will start a company for apocalypse insurance.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 12:06
Even if zombies didn't inevitably come into your house (They would find out eventually.) you would not do yourself well in your own home. The worst thing about an outbreak is humanity. Humanity will kill you. They will loot your house, kill you, and rape you. Also, staying in your home, you will run out of provisions and starve, or have to leave eventually.

But I live in fairly remote countryside. I doubt anyone would bother travelling 4/5 miles to loot a random house. And wherever you are, you are going to run out of provisions. If it is your own home you have a great opportunity to prepare it with stocks.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 09 Feb 2008, 12:16
You're right. It does depend on where you live. It sounds to me like you might live in a great place to hole up. Are you the only house for a few miles? Where exactly are you located in relation to the nearest heavily populated town? It all depends on your location. I assumed you lived in a populated area, as the majority of today's world lives close to other human beings.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 09 Feb 2008, 13:27
There are about 10 houses for 1 and a half miles, but we know everyone and I am pretty damn sure they wouldn't try to rape me. the nearest heavily populated town? There is a small town 12 miles away, and a rather large one a bit more than 20 miles away. Other than that, just random villages scattered around with 2/3 mile gaps between them. Without cars it is pretty isolated (of course, its not like its greenland  :roll:).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 09 Feb 2008, 15:34
For all you fuckers talking about how bad it would be to go to the Arctic, didn't any of you shitdicks read Julie of the Wolves?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 09 Feb 2008, 18:59
Congratulations Obsessions, I think you're the first person to agree with me on these boards, period.

Also, the amount of food one person can transport with them, short of having a cargo plane license, isn't sufficient for any amount of time: your location for survival would be absolutely linked to the food sources nearby. Living in the Arctic? Nope. Living on an oil platform? Not really. If I had the choice, I'd live in a heavily-fortified canned tuna factory.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Feb 2008, 21:02
Which is still easily accessible as long as your favorite local airline still makes routine trips to the Arctic during a zombie outbreak. Right?

It takes basic reading skill and a few hours of the flight tutorials on Microsoft Flight Simulator to figure out how to do start up an airplane (even a multi-engine turboprop or jet, which is important info for later).

The reading skill comes in handy when you go to fuel the airplane. You look at the tank filling points and you see where it says "JET A ONLY" or "JET B ONLY" or whatever, and you find the appropriate nozzle and make with the pumping. If you fuck up the fuel types, you won't even get off the damn runway, because the engines will just straight up shut down (it has happened in the news within the last few months, that's the only reason I know that part).

Then comes the fun part. You take your newfound Flight Simulator skills (my good friend is an FAA licensed instructor and says that it really is one of the best tools for learning how to fly and practicing the requirements for getting certain ratings) and you commandeer the airplane you've just fuelled up. If you're not a jackass, you'll have gone to an air base where they have a few ski-equipped C-130s (rather useful, you can take the skis off and use them for dragging shit to/from the aircraft to set up/break down camp).

You take all your supplies and stick them in the cargo hold. There's tiedown equipment just plain laying around in those things, so that part isn't going to be a problem. Then you close up the hydraulic ramp (that part is going to be YOUR problem, sorry, they don't have a program for that on Flight Simulator), do your startup checklist and your run-up checklist, and away you go. All U.S. Air Force C-130s have nav gear out the ass so finding someplace remote isn't going to be any trouble.

Then you fly out to wherever you really want to go. There's plenty of air bases in the U.S. that are all well within C-130 range of each other, and them 130s are really economic and reliable airplanes considering the job they do, where they do it, and how much shit you can haul in them (do your research on that, though, nobody wants to overload and crash and die).

This works pretty well for the nomadic thing, and it's not so bad for a zombie-proof shell. If all else fails, you can even just turn the engines on, give it full one-side brake, engine and rudder, set the other engines to reverse power (C-130s can do that shit, you know) and spin around until you've crushed them all. The propellors are high enough to not be a head-chop hazard, which is always nice, considering that you don't want to fuck that thing up, they're a bitch to replace even if you've got supply lines running smoothly and a full team of trained individuals.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 09 Feb 2008, 22:17
The arctic is for suckers. I'm all about the northern taiga. That shit I can deal with, though I'd have to learn how to dry preserve meat.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 09 Feb 2008, 22:24
It also depends on what you mean by "Arctic." If you're talking Barrow, Alaska, then yeah, that's ridiculous. You're not going to get there. But if you're talking about further south--Valdez, Juneau, Sitka--then it's completely feasible and frankly, a brilliant idea.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Trollstormur on 09 Feb 2008, 22:43
over the past two years and with the help of my wealthy uncle, I've been slowly constructing a zombie-proof compound in northern Canada. I won't say exactly where, because that would compromise it's security. Fully stocked with plenty of food (frozen and non-perishable), an artesian well, living quarters, mess hall, barracks, greenhouse, firing range, medical operating room, and it's all powered by those new Toshiba nuclear batteries that last for 40 years, backup windmills, solar and human dynamo for the greenhouse.

Inside my compound a small to medium group of survivors will exist for well up to twenty years or more
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Feb 2008, 23:07
I had assumed that "Arctic" means above the Arctic Circle, and the same idea with the Antarctic Circle.

Graham I will airlift you guys there if we can agree upon a rendezvous point.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 10 Feb 2008, 05:23
What about them scientific bases at the north pole? If you could get there in a boat, and to the base, I assume you would be quite safe.
Until the point where the polar ice melts and you fall into the sea. Although, if zombies freeze, whatever water is in their cells will cause those cells to burst, right? And that means no brain, no muscles, just mush! So the north and south and very cold places should be safe after a year or so, barring incursions of zombies. I think Slick has got a fairly good idea with the taiga actually.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 10 Feb 2008, 20:04
mystical research bases

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amundsen-Scott_South_Pole_Station (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amundsen-Scott_South_Pole_Station)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Johnny C on 10 Feb 2008, 23:19
He still has a point. Amundsen-Scott was built on an Antarctic voodoo burial ground, after all.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 11 Feb 2008, 01:51
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_the_Mountains_of_Madness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_the_Mountains_of_Madness)?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: CardinalFang on 11 Feb 2008, 05:46
All this discussion about plans and whatnot but are any of you keeping an Outbreak Journal?
Remember early warning is the keystone to any successful plan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: The extra letter on 11 Feb 2008, 06:08
I'd say out in the desert would be your best bet.

As long as you've got a good source of artesian water, or if it's near a spring you'd be set.

It'd be fairly remote so there'd be less native zombies about, and that'd give you time to set up a defensible position.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 11 Feb 2008, 11:34
Food is really a much more pressing concern for me than fighting zombies. I get light-headed if I skip a meal. If I were hungry enough I might welcome zombification, because then I'd get to eat something.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 11 Feb 2008, 13:21
Also, if I end up surrounded, and low on ammunition, I'll just do the Thriller dance. 
Best.

Plan.

Ever.

I'm glad someone caught that.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Elizzybeth on 11 Feb 2008, 17:14
Guys, I'm woefully uneducated on the subject of zombies.  I've been reading this thread, but I haven't been able to come up with my own plan, primarily due to my complete lack of knowledge re: zombie abilities, zombie desires, zombie weapon susceptiblity, etc.  I realize that if I continue lounging in my swimming pool of ignorance, I'm going to be completely unprepared in the event of a zombie attack (and I live in the 14th largest metropolis on earth--there would be a LOT of zombies here).  So I'd like your help.

What are the top three zombie movies I should see?  And book-wise, is there anything other than the Zombie Survival Guide that's been mentioned that I should read?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: a pack of wolves on 11 Feb 2008, 17:33
Dawn Of The Dead is essential (the original, not the remake). I'm tempted to say Day Of The Dead and Night Of The Living Dead as well actually, start with the classics.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 11 Feb 2008, 17:36
You should read World War Z.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 11 Feb 2008, 17:43
28 Days Later is the textbook "alternate scenario," in which the zombies are faster and more aggressive than we're giving them credit for. The current thread is based on the assumptions that we'll be dealing with a textbook ZSG outbreak, but passing familiarity with the 28 Days Later scenario can't hurt.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 11 Feb 2008, 17:49
Shaun of the Dead
The Evil Dead movies
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 11 Feb 2008, 18:42
You should read World War Z.

Seconded. I've only just started reading this, and I can already say it is an incredible resource.

Playing Dead Rising might be a good idea too. It seems as if that would give you a better understanding of combat against zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 11 Feb 2008, 20:36
It would only assuming that being bitten in itself won't infect and kill you. But we're all going on the assumption that it will, so don't treat the actual outbreak like the game. It is a good reference for what weapons are most effective, and I think accurate in its depictions of the fact that large, heavy weapons can certainly do damage, but are knocked out of your hands easily and won't fit in your inventory.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MusicScribbles on 13 Feb 2008, 13:00
Also, I don't think we should take into account that if you combine a pie with orange juice in a blender you will become untouchable. This is not worth testing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 13 Feb 2008, 14:06
I'm from the internet.

(http://www.pretentiousgamer.com/photos/zombaaaa.JPG)

I'm here to deal with your zombies.

Goddamn that helmet looks ridiculous.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 13 Feb 2008, 14:09
You need to lose the sweater and replace with a heavy leather jacket with the collar flipped up, allowing better protection from bites and neck protection. Otherwise you're on the right track
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Elizzybeth on 14 Feb 2008, 09:10
Yeah, Ozy, can I just hire you instead of dealing with my zombies myself?

What do you charge?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 14 Feb 2008, 10:55
I think the countryside is the perfect place for zombie evasion. I mean, hell, it doesn't even have to be particularly deserted...A small village (200-300 people) would be fairly easy to escape without getting bitten.

Also, lots of people who live in the country have generators.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 14 Feb 2008, 14:31
The U.S. doesn't have a countryside, and I think I'd rather be eaten than spend the rest of my life in fucking Wyoming.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 14 Feb 2008, 14:33
The U.S. doesn't have a countryside

take it back
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 14 Feb 2008, 14:35
...Yeah, I've been to Wyoming. Wouldn't recommend it.


And I agree with Scandinavian War Machine. Seriously, we have a countryside. Even down here in south eastern Minnesota where everything has been converted to farmland there's still the Root River Valley, which is pretty nice.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 14 Feb 2008, 14:41
That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 14 Feb 2008, 14:51
you should come check out Washington and Idaho then.

scenic and rustic for sure. usually pretty rusty too.


edit: i just wanted to share this. i love my state.

(http://www.bikeformima.com/images/DSCF1363_400x300.JPG)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 14 Feb 2008, 14:57
I'd take Obsession a bit more seriously if I didn't routinely have deer wandering into my backyard from the nearby river valley wondering how the fuck they got into a city so quickly.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 14 Feb 2008, 15:42
You should probably take Jon more seriously because of the anti-zombie weapon stockpile he's been working up.

Seriously we are all grabbing things that can destroy people's skulls, and as much as Jon likes to be a lazy fuck, he does not screw around with zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 14 Feb 2008, 15:47
The problem with being a lazy fuck is that you still will be a lazy fuck when the outbreak occurs, and you will be eaten, or turned, so it will all be for naught.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 14 Feb 2008, 15:49
i think you'd find that even the laziest of people will be pretty motivated when their life is on the line.

your life is a little more valuable than, say, a book report. to most people, anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 14 Feb 2008, 16:07
The problem with being a lazy fuck is that you still will be a lazy fuck when the outbreak occurs, and you will be eaten, or turned, so it will all be for naught.

I'm not lazy, I'm conserving energy...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 14 Feb 2008, 18:48
Damn straight, Obsessions.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 14 Feb 2008, 21:37
The U.S. doesn't have a countryside
I don't know how far your area knowledge extends beyond Boston, but most of the US isn't anywhere near as densely populated as the Northeast. I mean, it's not just a little different, but like many orders of magnitude different. And I'm not implying you're stupid or anything; I certainly didn't grasp just how sparsely populated some parts of the country are until just recently when some relatives of my fiancee who live in Montana were telling her about how they can make an 8 hour drive up to some town in Canada and not pass any other people the entire time.

ADDITION: Oh wait now I see your clarification a few posts down:
That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.
Rather an odd distinction to make, especially considering how irrelevant this is to the point about areas that would be free of zombies. Regardless, the fact that the midwest doesn't fit your specific definition of "countryside" just means you need to think Pennsylvania (sure, Philly and Pittsburgh are on either end of the state, but nobody lives in between except for trees) or West Virginia.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 14 Feb 2008, 21:50
Jon, you seriously need to get out and see the world, or at least the rest of the US. While you have a chance, before the zombies destroy it all and turn it into a dystopic wasteland. I've been to 48 out of 50 states, obviously Hawaii and Alaska are the ones I lack, and if you don't call any of that scenic, your definition is different from most of the world.

Speaking of Alaska, what the hell do you call most of that if not scenic?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 15 Feb 2008, 01:24
Speaking of Alaska, what the hell do you call most of that if not scenic?

Fucking barren, depressing, and covered in bears. You know what President Colbert says about bears.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ulfnir on 15 Feb 2008, 03:24
Having recently read "world war Z", this has been on my mind.
I have a fair bit of armour, and a 1796 pattern sabre, longbow, hatchets etc. I also live in a narrow lane, which would be easy to barricade witha couple of vans from the farm across the way. My house is virtually inpregnable too, as it has a thick stone front wall, heavy wood doors and is very solid. It would suffice for a while, until we could get to somewhere more easily defendable. My money would be on going to Dolbadarn castle, with some close friends, and holing up there for the duration. They, being reenactors, are likewise armed and ready.
Bring it on!
(http://www.snowdoniaguide.com/images/south/dolbadarn.jpg)
(http://www.llanberis.com/castle/castle.jpg)
It still has a well.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 15 Feb 2008, 08:29
They, being reenactors, are likewise armed and ready.
Bring it on!

Man, we re-enactors are going to be laughing. What period are you?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ulfnir on 15 Feb 2008, 10:29
Mostly viking, but occasionally late medieval. :)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 15 Feb 2008, 12:07
How far away from civilization (read: populated areas) is this castle? Also, what are you doing for food?

Otherwise that actually sounds like a pretty legit plan, especially if it has a well.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 15 Feb 2008, 12:35
http://www.multimap.com/hotels/?&t=l&map=53.1219912243855,-4.13419570119059|13|4&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13&dp=841#t=l&map=53.12199,-4.1342|15|4&dp=841&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13 (http://www.multimap.com/hotels/?&t=l&map=53.1219912243855,-4.13419570119059|13|4&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13&dp=841#t=l&map=53.12199,-4.1342|15|4&dp=841&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13)

That's a map link.

Nowhere in the UK is far from population centres.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 15 Feb 2008, 16:09
The U.S. doesn't have a countryside...That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.

LULWHUT?

No, seriously. I live in southern Wisconsin, and I have no idea what you're talking about. This area of the Midwest, at least, is full of lush, rolling hills, deep forests, periodic farms, and a large number of lakes.

I guess if you go into places like southern Illinois and Indiana, then yeah, it's just flat, open nothingness. But the Midwest is probably the most geographically diverse region of the US.

Fucking barren, depressing, and covered in bears. You know what President Colbert says about bears.

If you're being sarcastic, just ignore this. But Alaska is probably one of the most beautiful places on the planet.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 15 Feb 2008, 16:24
Yeah, Great Britain is very densely populated. I'm pretty sure it's is overall higher than Japan, actually. I don't believe there's anywhere quite so dense as Tokyo in per square km in the UK (I'm not sure, I'd have to check), but I know that when you take the entire island into account the average is very high indeed. Also, I can't even imagine how many different kinds of fucked you'd be if you happened to be in the middle of Hong Kong when the outbreak hits town.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 16 Feb 2008, 14:45
I'm really just bumping this to infuriate Bryan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 16 Feb 2008, 15:22
Why is bumping this going to infuriate anyone? I think this thread is a valuable resource. It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 16 Feb 2008, 15:38
It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.

Katie for forum dictator '08
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 17 Feb 2008, 15:49
It would be cool to make a zombie movie in Tokyo...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 17 Feb 2008, 16:20
If I lived in the city, my plans would be to get bitten.

Seriously, why not? Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun being a zombie, and whats the chance of humanity fighting back and killing all the zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 17 Feb 2008, 16:39
Are zombies self-aware? I doubt it, what with the whole "mindless killing machine" thing. In which case, no enjoyment, no fun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: kinglm on 17 Feb 2008, 17:17
This discussion came up a few times at my house when my friends and I were a few pints better off. The initial idea was to take medium sized quite heavy objects such as cricket bats and some steel bars I have in my room (don't ask why) combined with shields made from my cymbals as personal defence with the impracticality of portable garden tools like hedge trimmers ruling them out. The plan was then to get the 2 miles to our school where we have a Army Cadet Corps. with a fully stocked armory contaning:

L98A1 GP Cadet Rifleshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L98A1_Cadet_GP_Rifle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L98A1_Cadet_GP_Rifle)
SA80 rifles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SA80 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SA80)
and L86 LSW Automatic Rifles (see above link)
along with some rather useless .22 rifles hanging around but most importantly there are plenty of NATO rounds around to be used.Whilst guns clearly aren't the the most effective zombie slayers it's still nice to have a few around if only for the psychological reasons that they make you feel more prepared.

The plan was then to steal one or two of the school's ford transit minibuses after stocking up on food and water from the dining halls(cafeteria) and draining the fuel tanks of the remaining vehicles in the vicinity into the abundance of jerry cans in the corps. office. Once loaded up the plan was to move off to one of their houses which was in the middle of the countryside with a farm next door but otherwise no people for miles around and the benefit of a stream for fresh water in case infrastructure collapse caused water mains to become useless.

for anyone with a higher budget however, the fort for sale off the south coast of england might make a nice place to hole up if you have a chopper or boat to get there  :wink: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770 (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 17 Feb 2008, 17:57
Are zombies self-aware? I doubt it, what with the whole "mindless killing machine" thing. In which case, no enjoyment, no fun.

Exactly. It would be like being an animal. I would get to eat human beings (with an excuse, this time).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: the-artful-dodger-rodger on 17 Feb 2008, 18:21
 cricket bats is the ultimate weapon against zombies and the mall is the perfect place to hide out.

my plan is to have a army of scottish soccer hooligans armed with cricket bats, thus the human race is saved.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 17 Feb 2008, 18:57
cricket bats is the ultimate weapon against zombies

OK, Shaun

m i rite guyz?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 17 Feb 2008, 19:56
Nope.

My Google Earth zombie defense plan is almost done. I think this is exactly what Google was made to do.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 17 Feb 2008, 20:48
You know, even though I still agree the the zombie upsrising is just around the corner and will happen, I'm finding it hard to wonder how it really could spread into a worldwide epidemic. I mean, if it takes a while for the effects of the disease to kick in it could spread nearly worldwide, but there are places on the planet that just wouldn't be affected at all, due to while there are relatively significant populations there, they just don't get much in the way of visitors, and by the time an outbreak begins these places could get enough word to sela themselves off. Take my hometown of Lubbock, Texas for instance. I mean, its a town of 250,000 people, and while it has an airport, it doesn't get much action, and there isn't anything besides little hackdirt clusters of 10-12 buildings called townships anywhere for about 50 miles in any direction. The closest city to it is Amarillo to the north, which is even more removed.

The argument of course is that it only takes one zombie to destroy and infect an entire populace, but if they get word they can immediately begin screening anyone who comes by air, and after a while the entire airline system would be shut down entirely. My point is, what kind of delivery system would it take to make sure that these pockets of humanity are totally wiped out so that only a tiny number of people would be left to survive? Jeez, I'm sick.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 17 Feb 2008, 21:02
I think it's more feasible than you give credit for. Anyways, the original delivery system is ALWAYS debated. If we look at the Evil Dead series, any recent or present deaths result in zombies, in which case I can't see how ANYONE would survive for any length of time. A lot of people die in a minute. If it's airborne, only certain sectors would be safe and eventually contact strains will get through and kill everyone. If it's contact-only, the potential for global infection is probably significantly reduced, but the idea is that zombies are like time-bombs with multiple fuse lengths: any human being is a potential carrier.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 17 Feb 2008, 21:49
Boro, if the outbreak has a phase where the disease hasn't kicked in, how exactly are you going to be able to scan the airways? We've never seen this disease before - and by the time we've figured out what to look for it will have already spread pretty much all the way around the world.

The isolated places will still receive the disease, just not as quickly. There will be people running from nearby towns to take shelter there when their own town is overrun. What if one of them has the disease in it's undetectable phase? And even if you manage to escape that problem, zombies will eventually converge onto any remaining groups of people - and all it takes is for one of those people to suffer a scratch and then suddenly one night, your own friend tears out your jugular.

The other problem is that people are selfish. They're not going to admit that they've got the virus - they'll deny it to themselves and hide it from everybody else, hoping that they'll survive it. They won't, and they'll have easy access to all the unsuspecting people around them as soon as they go zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 17 Feb 2008, 21:54
[bah, double post]
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 18 Feb 2008, 01:31
for anyone with a higher budget however, the fort for sale off the south coast of england might make a nice place to hole up if you have a chopper or boat to get there  :wink: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770 (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770)

The solent forts are already my plan, boy! Also, what the hell kind of cadet corps has SA-80's and L86's? I was under the impression that kind of stuff was kept on proper military bases. If that's the case, then it's possible that getting hold of firepower might not be that hard in the uk, for the savvy.

SA-80 wouldn't be a bad weapon to get you out of a corner either, zombie-wise. As long as you were right handed, of course...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: kinglm on 18 Feb 2008, 07:54
Yeah, from what I gather most cadet corps just get fobbed off with the single action cadet rifles but we managed to get hold of a squad or two's worth of SA-80's and a handful of LSW's which only just made their way back from Iraq after the army realised they didn't have enough and commandeered ours  :-P. Also think they have some flares knocking about in there too (of the pistol delivered variety) which might be useful for one thing or another.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Feb 2008, 09:16
Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ulfnir on 18 Feb 2008, 12:32
I think big calibre, slow velocity rounds would be best. 9mm is good.
Crowbars or army entrenching tools for close in work are also full of win.d 
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 18 Feb 2008, 12:42
Damn, Anyways beat me to it!

9mm is a relatively light weight, small diameter round with high velocity. In theory that helps it penetrate better (which is kind of dumb, because it's still just a pistol) but doesn't have quite the same momentum that a .45 would, which is why the 9mm has basically been abandoned by most US police forces in favor of the .40 caliber.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: bbqrocks on 18 Feb 2008, 12:46
Seriously, how could the epidemic spread all the way across america, russia, africa....The big places with lots of isolated communities.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Feb 2008, 12:51
It would likely take a while, and if it is a worldwide all the recent dead rise thing, they would run into trouble when someone doesn't believe their eyes at seeing gramma back and gets bitten.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 18 Feb 2008, 12:58
Nodaisho's right, the skepticism could be a huge problem; we're having a hell of a time getting through the message of how exactly AIDs spreads in a lot of areas as it is. There's real potential for long delays to take place before meaningful containment can truly happen as people try to figure out just exactly what is going on because causing needless hysteria isn't something anyone wants hanging over their heads. People aren't just going to drop everything at the first hint of zombies hitting the television. Sure, some of them might (can't discount the War of the Worlds fiasco), but even a few people not getting the message could be a real danger depending on how things spread.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 18 Feb 2008, 14:03
True, and once again, in stories like Night of the Living Dead and Land of the Dead, any dead of any kind rise up, doesn't matter how they died or how long. So there's graveyards near every human settlement on the planet.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 18 Feb 2008, 14:30
Fuck you all, I'm getting myself a BAR iif it all comes down to it.

That's right, the BAR which is bronounced like the place you get beer in, but means Browning Automatic Rifle.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Feb 2008, 14:47
You mean the WW2 one or the modern sport rifle? The ww2 one was about 18 pounds, might as well be toting an M249.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 18 Feb 2008, 14:48
True, and once again, in stories like Night of the Living Dead and Land of the Dead, any dead of any kind rise up, doesn't matter how they died or how long. So there's graveyards near every human settlement on the planet.

Well, that also implies that the phenomenon is purely supernatural, since I'm pretty sure it would be impossible for a virus to resurrect people on that level.

And if that's the case...

Step 1: Find a vampire.
Step 2: Induve vampire to turn you into a vampire.
Step 3: Find a trenchcoat, a badass sword and some significant firepower.
Step 4: Kill everything.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 18 Feb 2008, 18:48
Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?

Must be a different gun. Use an SA-80 left-handed and the shell will be ejected pretty much straight up your nose.

(http://world.guns.ru/assault/sa80-l85a2.jpg)

The ejection ports behind that green dust cover, and as you can see, there's no way in hell you could put it on the other side without a machine shop handy.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 18 Feb 2008, 18:57
Actually, I was just sitting here giggling at the thought of not putting the port on the other side and using it lefty anyway.


hehehehe
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 18 Feb 2008, 19:17
Damn, Anyways beat me to it!

9mm is a relatively light weight, small diameter round with high velocity. In theory that helps it penetrate better (which is kind of dumb, because it's still just a pistol) but doesn't have quite the same momentum that a .45 would, which is why the 9mm has basically been abandoned by most US police forces in favor of the .40 caliber.

I wish I could have been first to answer, because I find it hilarious, but oh well.

Also, I'm fairly positive the SA-80 (L85A2, at least) can be reassembled to eject on the left side of the gun, but you'd have to be a level 3 gunsmith to do it without fucking the whole thing up.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Feb 2008, 20:21
Well... That blows. I suppose you could probably rig something up to deflect the brass down, but that would not be something you would want to be stuck doing in the middle of a firefight.

Khar's list was missing something. Sunscreen. Lots of sunscreen.

I know there are some bullpups that you can modify when disassembling, but for some reason, none of them have figured out a way to flip the ejection around. If you made it eject up and to the side, you could probably have a switch that moved a metal piece to the side. The FN2000 seems to have it best so far though, frontward ejection with enough force to throw out six spent cases as well as the one just fired. Downward works too, but then you can't put the magazine there, at least not that I can think of.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 18 Feb 2008, 23:17
The point being that it's too fucking difficult to make a gun for lefties when the ejection port is just so HANDY on the right, at least for the average gun manufacturer.

Why isn't there an anti-zombie laser yet?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 18 Feb 2008, 23:35
any laser is anti zombie, considering if its powerful enough and pointed at their head. I actually want to use the Sader that my physics teacher invented. He's not sure, but he thinks if pointed at a subject's head it could make it explode. Or at least cause significant brain damage, maybe without the mess.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 19 Feb 2008, 01:00
There's quite a few lasers that could take out a zombie no problem available. The problem would be obtaining a power source for them.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 01:55
Also, I'm fairly positive the SA-80 (L85A2, at least) can be reassembled to eject on the left side of the gun, but you'd have to be a level 3 gunsmith to do it without fucking the whole thing up.

That's one way of putting it. You'd have to manufacture a whole new upper reciever.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Zombie Patrick on 19 Feb 2008, 03:12
HBAULULAGBULHG;BHA'HU;AUG;BHKKLREYTJM BRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 19 Feb 2008, 03:50
OH SHIT
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 19 Feb 2008, 05:39
Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?
The Steyr AUG can, as far as I can remember, be reassembled to eject to the left side - swap out the bolt and change the ejection cover, according to Wiki. Thing is, though, if you have access to an assault rifle you are either a) in the army or b) in one of those countries where everyone has guns. This means that you will probably have enough experience at firing the thing to be able to fire it the other side. Also, you might have a chance of using your rifle effectively, because you will be among lots of other soldiers and they will also have lots of weapons and training. Otherwise, the side the cartridge comes out of your gun is the least of your worries.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 07:22
It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.

Katie for forum dictator '08

Man, fuck you people:

Guys, I am disappointed with how swiftly this conversation has veered away from how awesome a mod I would make.

When I am mod, the zombie thread will be stickied and Joe Hocking will be chained to a tree and forced to make sound bites for every forumite I give a shit about.

Do you want a forum dictator who just plagiarizes others, or do you want a forum dictator who will save all your asses from the zombie holocaust?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 19 Feb 2008, 07:26
Um, a forum dictator with boobs?  Maybe?  I'm OK with that.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 19 Feb 2008, 07:32
Yeah Jon, what have you done to get this thread stickied? You have done nothing.

Katie, on the other hand, posts sexy pictures in the photothread, and has boobs, as onewheelwizard just pointed out. I think the decision is obvious.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 07:34
What, precisely, has Katie done to get it stickied? Nada. I'm not dictator yet.

Also, what assurances has she given you towards stickying the Pets & Cuteness thread? None. I, on the other hand, will make it so.

Also, she said you're all dorks. Do you really want that for dictator?

the zombie thread will be stickied

Guys why isn't this stickied? That thread is serious business.

Fuck mod, Jon for forum president '08.

Sorry Darryl.

Flip-flopper. You'll be the first one ground into the ground when I am forum dictator.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 19 Feb 2008, 07:44
Fuck you I am so not letting this derailment die without making my candidacy public.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 19 Feb 2008, 07:47
There is a place (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,19181.0.html) now for this sort of talk. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS TOO PEOPLE!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 10:43
By decree of your interim supreme ruler of this revolutionary state, I declare all discussion of the nature brought forth in this thread to be suspended. Whereas the original topic has grown stale, and whereas this thread seeks to undermine the good works of your interim leadership, all discussion should now cease and no further posts should be made herein.
Failure to comply will result in grave consequences for all involved.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 10:50
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/0bsessions/Random%20Macros/BATTLETOADSFDR.jpg)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 10:56
Whereas Obsessions has routinely done nothing but damage this community, and proceeds to flaunt his arrogance and disdain for us to our very faces, I, supreme and entire leader of all QC, swear out a warrant for his capture and execution by any means necessary.
He is to be considered public enemy number one and should be treated with the utmost of cruelty and with complete disregard for his well being. A slow death is too good for this traitor.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 11:01
TITS OR GTFO
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 11:06
Whereas they encourage and expedite the decline of the most beautiful and necessary of arts, language, all acronyms are henceforth banned from usage in this forum. Their use by any member shall automatically incur non grata status.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 19 Feb 2008, 11:07
What about 733TSP34K?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 11:11
Loyal citizen JHocking brings to our attention a good poing. Whereas they provide no useful function other than to confuse innocent bystanders, numbers, in any form, are hereby banned from this forum. There use shall result in summary execution without warning or notice.

Your benevolent ruler would like to remind you, however, that this thread is locked under further discussion. JHocking receives pardon on account of his meritous suggestion. Do not assume this extends to you.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 11:21
In the ranks of the Rebellion, all forumites of great age, such as Joe Hocking, will be treated with the reverance they deserve.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 19 Feb 2008, 11:23
none?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 11:23
Some.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 19 Feb 2008, 11:24
Loyal citizen JHocking
Didn't you declare me persona non grata in another thread? You are starting to lose track of your own proclamations.

ADDITION: I would like a ruler who will take the term "grammar nazi" literally:
There use shall result in summary execution without warning or notice.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 11:27
My intelligence sources tell me that slick is in fact under the control of hipinionite agents.

Jhocking, how does gauleiter of the I Am Fish forum strike you?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 11:27
If the revolution succeeds, the Did You Cry When Aeries Died thread will be utterly destroyed.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 11:29
Zombies are not the enemy, Obsessions is! He has brainwashed our good ex-president KharBevNor to agree with him, but pay them no heed!
Zombies are what you all risk becoming, should Obsessions have his way!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 19 Feb 2008, 11:29
Jhocking, how does gauleiter of the I Am Fish forum strike you?
HE DOESNT MEAN TO HURT ME

I LOVE HIM
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 19 Feb 2008, 11:31
Obsessions

This forumite does not exist! 0bsessions, on the other hand, does. But you have typos and are therefore an inept forum dictator and we shall overthrow you before you even begin.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 11:32
You guys are all dead when the zombocalypse strikes, even Jon, who's attention has been turned to petty politics rather then his own preparations to stay alive.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Feb 2008, 11:32
Don't let that propaganda spewing fascist pull the wool over your eyes, people. The zombie threat is a very real one. Do you want a man who'll be content to sit with his head in the sand as the zombie menace overtakes us? Or do you want leaders who will take action and protect the people, like Khar and I?

Phil, I am sacrificing my own safety for the greater good, as any true leader should be willing to do.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 11:33
ex-president KharBevNor

Technically, under the terms of the re-written constitution, I shall remain President until such time as the sun boils away into the empty blackness of space. However, since the office of president is strictly ceremonial now, this should cause loyal citizens no undue concern.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 19 Feb 2008, 11:33
Boro_Bandito is hereby deputized as minister for common-sense and despondency.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 19 Feb 2008, 11:36
You guys are all dead when the zombocalypse strikes, even Jon, who's attention has been turned to petty politics rather then his own preparations to stay alive.

I will NOT let you on my boat now. I thought we were cool, Phil, but noooo.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gabbly on 19 Feb 2008, 11:38
Oh man you are doing this in gabbly as well, aren't you you fuckers.

A LOT OF COOL THINGS HAPPEN IN ME THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

YOUR MOM KNOWS ALL ABOUT THEM THOUGH.
LAST NIGHT.
IN BED.
WITH ME.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gabbly on 19 Feb 2008, 11:46
YOUR FRAGILE MEMBER HURTS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A REAL MAN.
UNLIKE MY MOM.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 19 Feb 2008, 11:51
Who is your mom anyway? E-mail?

How's Grandpa Snail-Mail doing? What about cousin Text-Messaging? I trust they are well.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Gabbly on 19 Feb 2008, 11:53
I AM AN ORPHAN, DICK. THANKS FOR BEING SENSITIVE TO MY FEELINGS.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 19 Feb 2008, 11:54
How could i have known?

i'm sorry for your loss. MY family is doing wonderful, by the way. tra-la-la
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 11:56
His parents were actually Yahoo!Chat and GoChat, since the latter has faded into obscurity and died and the other is a hooker and drug addict he hasn't had a very good home life.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 19 Feb 2008, 12:01
I think gabbly has some birth defects. Did your mother drink while she was pregnant?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Blue Kitty on 19 Feb 2008, 12:11
I AM AN ORPHAN, DICK. THANKS FOR BEING SENSITIVE TO MY FEELINGS.

Gabbly, you are sick, please get help.  Your friends worry about you, remember the good times and get better
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 19 Feb 2008, 12:13
guys I have enough weed to last the apocalypse I think
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 19 Feb 2008, 12:16
Sure, but you have to bring some flowers, dude. For making chains with. Also for improvising bright sunny fields with, because I do not have the right kind of grass for laying on (hurr hurr). I have a nice lamp that is a good substitute for the sun, if you know what I mean.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Dissy on 19 Feb 2008, 12:21
We are straying off topic ppl!

We need more plans for Zombie killings!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 19 Feb 2008, 12:31
Man, my dream is to one day become a dope-smoking zombie hunter.

Please tell me your armor will be daisy chain mail.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Lines on 19 Feb 2008, 12:37
Not as awesome, but still up there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 19 Feb 2008, 12:43
Someone might have (er, probably has) posted this already, but here.

http://www.zombieworkout.com/

It's really a post-apocalyptic workout, but it centers on zombies.
Besides, Zombie Workout sounds better than Post-Apocalyptic Workout. :]

Darling, ain't it?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 13:30
this is one of the few newbies that will not be black bagged and sent off to LarkHill when I take power. For her words are wise despite her forum youth.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 13:36
You also have a point. Your words have persuaded me to allow you a place in my government. You obviously know what to do with these newbies, how about leader of my secret police?

But I'm still not sure what you mean by baiting zombies. Why on earth would we want to bait them? Unless it was of course to lead them into a giant chopping machine to add to the smoothie that Patrick will start with himself.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 14:12
...Are you not familiar with the Redeker plan?

To think you people ever thought you could lead!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 19 Feb 2008, 15:07
I am not familiar with the Redeker plan, but I'm familiar with fuckin' shit up, and when the zombiepocalypse hits, that's the only qualification I'll need to become the leader of the forumites.

That and an internet connection.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 16:31
I thought the Redeker plan was as much based on the accidents of geographical location as other qualifying factors.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Feb 2008, 16:52
Duh.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 19:40
Max Brooks totally stole that from Land of the Dead.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 19 Feb 2008, 19:45
And Dr. Strangelove.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Feb 2008, 19:49
That too, Stanley Kubrick was admittedly first.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 25 Feb 2008, 06:18
I don't give a damn if I'm necroposting, the undead is the point of this thread anyway.

I will kill anything in my path, undead or not, to get to this. (http://green.yahoo.com/news/afp/20080224/sc_afp/norwayarcticenvironmentwarmingcrops.html)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 25 Feb 2008, 06:48
(http://images.wikia.com/fallout/images//0/05/Votf.jpg)?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 25 Feb 2008, 10:28
(http://www.pretentiousgamer.com/photos/chopsg.JPG)

THIS IS NOT HOW YOU FIGHT ZOMBIES.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 25 Feb 2008, 19:04
I don't give a damn if I'm necroposting, the undead is the point of this thread anyway.

I will kill anything in my path, undead or not, to get to this. (http://green.yahoo.com/news/afp/20080224/sc_afp/norwayarcticenvironmentwarmingcrops.html)

If I'm understanding that story correctly, then that vault it just filled with seeds--in the Arctic. How are you planning on actually growing any of that in that region?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 25 Feb 2008, 19:10
I haven't read the article (tl;dr i have homework to do okay?) but at a quick glance I think the point is to have seeds stored somewhere so that in a post-apocalyptic situation somebody could gather them and bring them to a warmer climate and plant them there.

And pat you can necro-post this thread all you want as far as I'm concerned. This thread is serious business.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Feb 2008, 01:04
It's weird how in the space of 5 months everybody has learned my name. I fear the zombie uprising is sooner than we think.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 26 Feb 2008, 01:51
Everyone else was calling you that, I thought we might have another kim on the boards or something.

And hey, just as long as it isn't tomorrow night, I have plans.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 26 Feb 2008, 02:02
You're fine. The problem will be when everybody on the boards starts referring to you by your surname - and you never told them what it was.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 26 Feb 2008, 02:05
Ahh, the internet. Come for the discussion, leave with several stalkers.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Feb 2008, 03:51
I know for a fact that there are plenty of folks around here who probably know not only my surname but my middle name as well.

Is there a reset button I can hit or something?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 26 Feb 2008, 05:42
HOW DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME :? :? :?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Liz on 26 Feb 2008, 07:29
I know for a fact that there are plenty of folks around here who probably know not only my surname but my middle name as well.

Hooray for Facebook!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Hunter on 26 Feb 2008, 13:04
Man, my dream is to one day become a dope-smoking zombie hunter.

You: Hey man, got any chips?
Zombie: ARHGARR
You: Cool, thanks man.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 26 Feb 2008, 13:58
Zombie: RAARG *CHAERG*
You: Ooooooh Shiiiiiiiiit!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 29 Feb 2008, 22:55
all you need is a HUGE balloon, it will be solar powered, and a fan will keep it in the air, and all you will need is food, to last it out. and a basket big enough to sleep in. and bring home made bombs if you wanna ahve some fun :) craters with zombie parts around em' booyah!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 29 Feb 2008, 23:03
I was not aware that balloons used power (solar or otherwise). Also, a fan? Were you planning on having somebody running around underneath you blowing the balloon up with the fan?

I'm quite confused.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 29 Feb 2008, 23:13
well actualy, ballons usually have big burners to keep them in the air, but mine will have a super powered fan, and the solar panels that will be the covers of the balloon's exterior will power that fan.

http://www.viewimages.com/Search.aspx?mid=56050816&epmid=1&partner=Google
 thats what they normally use, but gas will run uot eventually, so solar works!
and if all else fails, ill bring up a bike to ride on that will turn the fan.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 29 Feb 2008, 23:36
oh shit, you're right. maybe possibly, the solar panels could also heat the air inside, if the balloon were big enough. Maybe...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 01 Mar 2008, 01:26
I was not aware that balloons used power (solar or otherwise). Also, a fan? Were you planning on having somebody running around underneath you blowing the balloon up with the fan?

I'm quite confused.
Even if it did work, wouldn't the fan just suck you into the balloon? (in small pieces)
I can imagine a powered fan that gets hot enough to lift a hot air balloon (making it is another story) ... but I wouldn't want to be underneath it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 01 Mar 2008, 02:21
i would have put a guard on it. DUH,

either that or i was gonna go out to sea, on a ocean liner about a mile or two out. and wait it out.

I figure zombies arent that good of swimmers
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 01 Mar 2008, 02:56
i would have put a guard on it. DUH,
I reckon he'd get sucked into it, too. :p

Has anyone seen Braindead? Ignoring fly-kicking reverends, I reckon the lawnmower idea was worth digging up. (lawnmower+zombies= ??)
Maybe less so if the zombie outbreak is contagious by blood.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 01 Mar 2008, 03:07
Hmm, strimmer (replace the plastic wire with steel?).
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 01 Mar 2008, 03:09
What if the lawnmower powered the balloon?

Would that work?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 01 Mar 2008, 03:15
thats the true spirit of a zombie apocalypse, work together and make one badass tactic of destroying zombies!

but id rather have a weed whacker with steel blades. not a lawnmower. youd have to somehow run over the zombies, which to me would seem rather difficult.

And as a secondary weapon, id have a katana XD
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: warofthebees on 01 Mar 2008, 04:11
A semi automatic rifle and a hummvee...break into your local Army fort (they ain't gonna send you to Guantanamo, they're all dead[ish]) and steal them.  Get the lock off of an arms room door somehow, and you're good!  Military Hummvees don't have keys, and you can hide out in the hills until the zombies finally rot away (if they do rot).

Admittedly, I stole most of this form the Zombie Survival guide.  But I'd still do it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 01 Mar 2008, 04:40
The first place I'm going to raid when it happens is the local high school. Think about it, they've got primitive weapons (baseball bats, cricket bats), food, tents/other outdoorsman things, wood/metal working supplies, chemicals (for fancy zombie eradication), and probably a few other things I've forgotten. Best part about it is that most people probably won't think to go there, so it will be relatively un-looted and zombie free!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: warofthebees on 01 Mar 2008, 04:51
Well, I came up with the Hummvee thing myself (I'M SO SMERT!), but going out to the hills, using a semi-auto rifle, and the undead eventually rotting are all from the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. 
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Mako on 01 Mar 2008, 05:07
id personally like a humvee with a zombie-electro-bastard-ray (taken form the 1999 game, carmageddon, carpocalypse now) that would be sweet, zapping zombies left and right. no zombie is safe.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 01 Mar 2008, 09:59
I give up. This thread has gotten too stupid for its own good.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 01 Mar 2008, 11:38
id personally like a humvee with a zombie-electro-bastard-ray

GET OUT.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 02 Mar 2008, 03:31
Are you a mod? [/Ghostbusters]

Mako, you should see Braindead ... running them over is for the weak. This guy hefts the lawnmower, blades to the front.

This one is pretty simple compared to the other suggestions ... but how about a spade? reinforced, extra long handle & a wide head.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 02 Mar 2008, 14:53
As long as you can get me a meter-long version of it, you've got a happy, happy little KJS.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 02 Mar 2008, 18:38
One thing I've always been curious about--how do zombies distinguish who's a live human, and who's another zombie? Do they have some kind of thermal sensing? Specially attuned hearing? A heightened sense of smell? What?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 02 Mar 2008, 21:05
 They eat everything.
They're zombies.

Or perhaps they smell fear!
So, you can pretend you're a zombie by not being afraid, and then they won't eat you.

(I, by the way, refuse to acknowledge the existence of this so called "fast" zombie. Abomination, I tell you!)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 02 Mar 2008, 21:18
Zombies don't eat everything, they eat humans. Various zombie movies have taught us that zombies have some form of survival instinct, and they require human meat to live. They don't have special powers, they're just dead dudes and dudettes. Can new people to this thread please read the thread before posting? This is ridiculous...

Also, I don't see the need or point for carrying melee weapons designed to kill (swords, knives, sharp things) when the primary use of a melee weapon should be to separate you from the undead: bats do this fine, but I wouldn't want a katana (seriously, stop watching Japanese cartoon shows) getting stuck in a corpse when I'm trying to make my way out of an infested city.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 03 Mar 2008, 00:34
What basic instinct tells us to eat other humans? I know I'm strong willed, but not once have I been compelled to devour one of my friends.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 03 Mar 2008, 04:46
Probably whatever motivates cannibals or excessively hungry people in bad situations.
I'd put a joke about girlfriends here, but some might think it in bad taste for a zombie thread. (so you'll have to think of it yourself)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 03 Mar 2008, 15:56
Zombies don't eat everything, they eat humans. Various zombie movies have taught us that zombies have some form of survival instinct, and they require human meat to live.

I can't remember what it was called, or even when I saw it, but I remember seeing part of a bad zombie movie where they fall upon the house cat.
So, at least in that case, it would be zombies eat all living flesh.
Which is sort of what I meant.

Not, like, a zombie gnawing on a tire swing. ;d


...I once (really, just once) thought about wanting to eat a forearm.
Really, it's just like a giant turkey leg.

Perhaps the voodoo/scientific experiment brings out the the subliminal urges in the human brain, or our primal, caveman-like instinct to hunt things that run?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Sox on 03 Mar 2008, 18:36
Zombies are possibly fueled by survival instincts. Self preservation. They're not aware that they don't need to eat, instinct makes them do this anway. Heck, maybe they just like the taste? I enjoy eating, why shouldn't a zombie? Probably the only source of pleasure a zombie has is eating. Why do they attack humans? Because zombies know humans are different. They're a threat. They learn that the zombies aren't harmful. They see a person? Deliberate movement, strong, powerful. A zombie knows that a living person will be able to hurt it. So it does the only logical thing that a zombie would do. Attack the threat. Destroy it. Zombies do have a degree of consciousness. There are thought processes going on in those heads.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: supersheep on 03 Mar 2008, 18:39
I think it's the virus. The virus wants to spread, and it's spread by bitey-bite. Ergo, more bitey, more zombies, more virus. YAY SURVIVAL.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 03 Mar 2008, 19:55
...I once (really, every single day) thought about wanting to eat a forearm. Because I am a goddamned cannibal.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 04 Mar 2008, 09:19
If they have a basic sense of smell then they know that zombies aren't good to eat because they are basically rotting, dead things.

I've always wondered why zombie films never cover the fact that there would be so many flies in the event of the zombie apocalypse.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 04 Mar 2008, 13:39
Noted, Jimmy.

But where the hell am I going to get a load of flies?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 04 Mar 2008, 13:41
Doesn't Solanum kill non-humans?

So the flies would absorb Solanum from the zombie, die, and not make more flies?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 04 Mar 2008, 14:36
Screw that, if I make a zombie movie I'm going to have a literal fuckton of flies all over the goddamned place.


....


Too bad the Name Lord of the Flies is already taken, could be a good boss monster or something.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Kwang on 04 Mar 2008, 15:03
Screw that, if I make a zombie movie I'm going to have a literal fuckton of flies all over the goddamned place.


....


Too bad the Name Lord of the Flies is already taken, could be a good boss monster or something.

I'm pretty sure that phrase is fair game, actually. It's a translation of "Beelzebub"; William Golding didn't make it up.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 04 Mar 2008, 16:58
...I once (really, every single day) thought about wanting to eat a forearm. Because I am a goddamned cannibal.

It was only a few times!
And when I think about it further, I'm terribly ashamed and go and cry in a corner.
It's just an odd tick.
:[
libel I tell you!...hope you aren't using your left arm past tonight. >] jk. no really.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 04 Mar 2008, 19:22
Anyways, does it mention insects? I can't say I've ever heard of mosquitoes avoiding an infected animal.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 05 Mar 2008, 00:32
Truly ... but if the guide says insects avoid rotting meat, I think there's something wrong with the guide.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Mar 2008, 06:07
I bet flies would be all up ons on a steak like that.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Fletch on 05 Mar 2008, 07:35
Wriggling, too. It would have to be rotting, [suppurating] & wriggling to stop me. ;)
Maybe flies are different in America (or elsewhere) but in Australia we get big insects; blowflies, armoured cockroaches, etc.
You need to do more than shuffle around to discourage them. (watch the cattle) If they get anything infected and pus-ridden, flies are on it like nobody's business. Gangrene / rotting is a buffet & maternity ward all in one. (heck, people used maggot wrappings to remove gangrene in past times)

Lol ...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 05 Mar 2008, 08:07
It would have to be rotting pussy to stop me. ;)

fix'd
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 05 Mar 2008, 09:33
heck, people used maggot wrappings to remove gangrene in past times

Still do, dude.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 05 Mar 2008, 20:49
Why would they avoid it? It's not like we're gonna get zombie flies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: negative creep on 05 Mar 2008, 21:14
No, but they'd die. that's why they keep the fuck away from zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: carnivoracious on 06 Mar 2008, 21:26
You seem to miss my point. It's not the fact that it's rotten or moving that's discouraging them. It's the fact that IT'S A FUCKING ZOMBIE. Solanum has been around for ages, flies know they should avoid it by instinct.

Actually I always wondered about that.  There are butterflies that mimic the color of poisonous butterflies so they don't get eaten.  HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW TO DO THAT?  Think about it!  It's not like the butterflies that are getting eaten are warning the others off, nor are the ones that aren't getting eaten conscious of the fact that color has anything to do with being poisonous.  What part of survival instinct dictates this?  And how the hell do frogs and the like know that those colors are poisonous?  I didn't think frogs could see in color in the first place!

On the other hand, I thought that the guide mentioned that zombies smelled different than normal rotting flesh.  Perhaps they just dont smell like food?

To answer (or rather speculate) on the why zombies apparantly prefer humans, if we assume that the virus can only spread to humans and that the virus leaves the part of the brain responsible for the hunger sensation intact then we may also be able to assume that:

1. The virus has a way to generate a specific hunger for human flesh  OR
2. The desire to consume human flesh is innate and the virus leaves it intact as well

Forgive the Freudian jargon, but who knows what horrific desires our collective ego is responsible for repressing.  Furthermore, what psychoanalyst would want to deal with cannibalism.  Most don't even want to deal with oedipal tension...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: dennis on 06 Mar 2008, 23:46
Actually I always wondered about that.  There are butterflies that mimic the color of poisonous butterflies so they don't get eaten.  HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW TO DO THAT?  Think about it!  It's not like the butterflies that are getting eaten are warning the others off, nor are the ones that aren't getting eaten conscious of the fact that color has anything to do with being poisonous.  What part of survival instinct dictates this?  And how the hell do frogs and the like know that those colors are poisonous?  I didn't think frogs could see in color in the first place!
Evolution.

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 07 Mar 2008, 07:23
successful genetic mutations are fairly rare in wildlife.

(http://image.comicvine.com/uploads/item/4000/3173/48981-x-men_400.jpg)?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 07 Mar 2008, 07:27
Fairly rare? Tell it to every species on the planet that is still surviving, man.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Ozymandias on 07 Mar 2008, 11:39
No, he's right. For every genetic trait that succeeds, there has to be so much more that do nothing or fail.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 07 Mar 2008, 12:58
Yeah, the mortality rate for rabbits dictates that something like 90% of them will die within their first year of life out in the wild. I don't know the numbers on how many of them manage to breed first, but the fact of the matter is that many of nature's creations persist not because they beat the odds but because they breed in such prolific numbers that even killing 90% of them results in enough getting by to perpetuate the next generation. Until they go extinct, of course, which happens more often than many people think.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 07 Mar 2008, 13:16
Yeah. If two animals born of the same mother, where one has a slight genetic mutation that tells it "man those green and blue frog things are probably bad for you", that's the one that's going to survive, because the other one eats a frog and dies. This gets passed on through generations of animals until everyone knows "stay the fuck away from those frogs!".

Gives you a perspective on how long that takes - successful genetic mutations are fairly rare in wildlife.

Well, when your "generations" are 24 hours apart, like in fruit flies, or 2-3 days, like biting black flies, the pace picks up a wee bit.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 07 Mar 2008, 15:34
Man so you're telling me that if I were a fruit fly I'd have only 24 hours to get laid and then I'd die, win or lose? I would probably just kill myself right there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 07 Mar 2008, 20:34
The only criteria is probably "have you got a fly dick" though so I guess even I would be able to pull that off.
My dick is pretty fly yo.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: negative creep on 08 Mar 2008, 08:49
Pretty fly for an Asian guy?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 08 Mar 2008, 19:27
Actually that raises an interesting question. Would the few remaining humans begin to adapt through evolution to the whole zombie thing? Develop some kind of camouflage, or masking scent? After all, the industrialized society would collapse and humans would be flung back into the "wilderness," thus probably removing many of the environmental factors that have brought any significant human evolution to a standstill in the last few decades (centuries?)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 08 Mar 2008, 22:32
Evolution works much slower than that. Like, speaking in terms of decades is totally meaningless with evolution. Centuries is just barely getting into a timeframe where evolution has any effect.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Slick on 08 Mar 2008, 22:39
Evolution, by it's nature, is an ongoing, continuous thing. As we continue to alter our environment, we must continue to adapt to it, and thus unless our environment is static, evolution will not reach a standstill.
We no longer need so much the ability to keep warm without clothing or kill a deer with out bare hands, but we are still evolving.

And as Joe said, it does takes many iterations of the death-birth thing to actually be able to draw meaningful conclusions from observations of evolutionary trends.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Chrasstor on 09 Mar 2008, 00:40
Us zombies would kill all you humans off before any note-worthy evolution could occur. Plus, there's not really any survival things that human's could gain through evolution. Humans pretty much have all they need to survive against zombies as is. There's still people in the wilderness today and as far as I know they don't have super-powers... But maybe...

 Anyhow, assuming people can't breed with zombies, there wouldn't be a whole lot of birth going on to begin with.

Can humans breed with zombies? And is it necrophilia if it's with 'living' dead?

Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Mar 2008, 06:05
Why the hell would you want to fuck a zombie.

I don't know who I'm more sympathetic for, Britney or Kevin.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 09 Mar 2008, 17:36
We no longer need so much the ability to keep warm without clothing or kill a deer with out bare hands, but we are still evolving.
And yet some people are still very hairy, due to having, hundreds of years back, an ancestor from freezing climes. I don't know about the killing a deer with your bare hands, though, seems like the problem there would be catching it and not getting kicked too badly. Deer can actually be pretty small.

The people that are smart enough to use camouflage and some sort of scent masking would be the ones to survive, though, and would pass that knowledge along to their children, not genetic, but you would see them surviving more than people that don't make any attempt to hide.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Chrasstor on 09 Mar 2008, 17:52
Anyhow, assuming people can't breed with zombies, there wouldn't be a whole lot of birth going on to begin with.

I'm just saying, if shit goes down like most zombie movies where it's pretty much just you and a few others alive, there isn't going to be a huge variation in genetics after a few generations. You have to keep the population going without inbreeding if you(as a species) are going to continue to exist.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 09 Mar 2008, 17:58
I don't think inbreeding is as quick-acting or as noticeable as it is in popular culture, I don't know about it for sure though, anyone able to confirm or deny that? I am sure that after a few generations at most, you would run into more groups of survivors.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Mar 2008, 18:02
This will be great for my sex life.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 09 Mar 2008, 18:19
I am looking forward to the inbreeding.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 09 Mar 2008, 18:23
Dude have you even SEEN my family
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 09 Mar 2008, 18:32
I would think you would be excited about the ability to effectively use the "Survival of the Species" pickup line with the Albanian girls you say are so hot.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 09 Mar 2008, 18:52
Dude have you even SEEN my family
*forwards to his relatives*
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 09 Mar 2008, 21:19
I'm well aware of how evolution works, thanks. I was speaking in terms of extremely prolonged periods of time. However, sudden evolutionary changes do occur. Witness the gypsy moth. And with the human population vastly thinner and life expectancy certainly exponentially lower, the generational changes would occur more frequently.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 10 Mar 2008, 03:22
Witness the gypsy moth.

(http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/3438/3402565sq8.jpg)

???
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 10 Mar 2008, 13:57
The best example of a quick change in the environment and a species ability to adapt concerns the the color of the Gypsy Moths in England. When the industrial revolution occurred, coal and other industrial factories spewed out massive amounts of air pollutants, so much so that even during the day the skies were as dark as night. The original color of the gypsy moths was a light gray; such a color blended in with the trees in their environment, and acted as camouflage against predators. With the change in the environment the camouflage adaptation no longer functioned because the tree trunks were darker colored, due to the built up chemicals from the heightened air pollution.

The gypsy moths colored dark gray, which had once been at a severe disadvantage and were normally quickly eaten by predators, now survived and bred, while their lighter counterparts, which had hitherto thrived were eaten and almost eradicated. As a result the gypsy moth, through the spreading of the genes responsible for a darker skin pigment, was able to gradually--but extremely fast in evolutionary measurements--change it's coloring to a dark gray-black, to match the surface of the trees covered in pollution.

Such a thing could be feasible in the extremely reduced human population--some kind of physical or scent-masking camouflage.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 10 Mar 2008, 21:27
Well, it depends on if the survivors already have something on the genetic level that make them more likely to survive in the the first place. Its not just going to appear, if humans can survive zombies without the need of natural camoflage and scent blocking, then they will and no evolution will occur down that path.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 11 Mar 2008, 00:15
Roughly 10% (I think) of humans don't leave DNA traces. Perhaps something like that?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 11 Mar 2008, 02:02
People who don't sweat that much would probably have an evolutionary advantage over the more moist of us.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 11 Mar 2008, 02:16
It depends on the climate. Sweat is how the body cools itself down - if you're in a warm climate and you're constantly running from zombies, overheating could prove fatal.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 11 Mar 2008, 02:21
True but consider that I will start to sweat at 21 degrees Celcius if I'm in the sun. I don't deal with heat that well and so would probably not be great at hiding from zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 11 Mar 2008, 09:18
I don't sweat very much. I am a tall, very thin dude, and as such, I cool off really easily. It makes me ridiculously well-suited to the heat, and not only that, but I am able to run a really good distance without stopping. I did a 5km run in under 22 minutes (that's like 3 miles) and yeah if the zombies want to chase after me they'd better be some fast motherfucking zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 11 Mar 2008, 18:20
Excuse me, but fast zombies do not exist, remember?!

I'm totally zombie food in that respect. I jog for a few seconds and I'm tasting blood. Have wonderful aim, though, with a bow and arrow. Learned that at a RenFair.


You think zombies can climb trees?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 11 Mar 2008, 18:27
You're in the wrong thread for saying zombies don't exist, just so you know. I mean, with an attitude like that you're even more fishbait than the rest of these guys. So far the list of people who've convinced me they are going to survive are still pretty much at me, Khar, Jon, and possibly Jimmy and Patrick, though in all honesty Patrick is more likely going to be raped by a group of convicts who've escaped and formed a surivor group of their own and haven't been with a woman in months, probably years, so they aren't too picky.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 11 Mar 2008, 18:32
I said fast zombies do not exist.
So groany ones do.
28 Days later made me so frightened I am refusing to admit the possible existence of a quick zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 11 Mar 2008, 18:37
Can the 28 day zombies be worse than those goddamn fast headcrab zombies? I shoot the fuckers in the face with a shotgun and they keep coming, that ain't right.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 11 Mar 2008, 18:39
But most zombies, you can go and take a nap and come back and they're only a yard or two from where they were.
The 28 Zombies --this is not so.
It's terrifying.
I started to zombie proof the house after that, trying to configure it so I could keep as much pterodactyl proofing as I could.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 11 Mar 2008, 18:40
28 Days later is in my opinion one of the greatest zombie movies ever made. And while some people here refuse to admit that the quick ones aren't out there, its beter to prepare for the worst than take minimum action. As I've learned from my Broadcasting and Filmwriting class this semester, the minimum action of the hero always results in failure, leading to worse situations for them in the long run, until they force themselves to go all out there can be no climax and resolution.

Fuck, people stop replying so fast.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 11 Mar 2008, 23:26
But most zombies, you can go and take a nap and come back and they're only a yard or two from where they were.
The 28 Zombies --this is not so.
It's terrifying.
I started to zombie proof the house after that, trying to configure it so I could keep as much pterodactyl proofing as I could.
You seen the fast headcrab ones? Skinny since all the skin, fat, and maybe even some of the muscle have been stripped away, and they can cover about ten meters in two seconds. Usually in-game, by the time you find them (they have a really creepy howl that you can recognize, but they always seem to come from a different direction than you are looking), they are about one shot from impact. Only time they aren't creepy is when they have to climb up a drainpipe so you can take potshots at them, but once one headshot doesn't kill them, screw it, I am hiding in the house until the cart comes over.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: öde on 12 Mar 2008, 03:46
The fast zombies are always creepy.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 12 Mar 2008, 04:48
Well, yeah, slow zombies aren't as creepy because they're easier. Which is creepier, something that actually has a reasonable chance of killing you (and fast!) or something that can hardly even amble by without dropping an appendage?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 12 Mar 2008, 09:56
Roughly 10% (I think) of humans don't leave DNA traces. Perhaps something like that?

Gosh, our infiltration by robots from the future has gone farther than I'd expected.  I should have realized that the Connor Chronicles were a documentary.

Wait . . . robots vs. zombies?  Sheeeee-it, I think I just came up with the next pirates vs. ninjas.  I'm freakin' brilliant.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 12 Mar 2008, 11:30
its been done pilsner, there are in fact facebook applications for it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 12 Mar 2008, 11:43
Damn!  Ummm . . . tarrasques vs. X-Wings?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 12 Mar 2008, 12:46
pfft. Everyone knows unicorns are the new pirates anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 12 Mar 2008, 16:00
Hobos are totally the new unicorns. Get with it.

I still can't really see a zombie doing much climbing. I suppose scientific zombies. Not voodoo zombies.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 12 Mar 2008, 16:18
This might have already been mentioned, but has anyone studied the zombification process that has gone on in the past in Haiti with voodoo rituals?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 12 Mar 2008, 16:56
yeah, those guys are jerks.

technically not zombies because they never actually die but extrememly zombie-like, nonetheless.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StaedlerMars on 12 Mar 2008, 17:28
This might have already been mentioned, but has anyone studied the zombification process that has gone on in the past in Haiti with voodoo rituals?

nope. more information please?

Should I not be going to Haiti?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 12 Mar 2008, 17:53
This link isn't really a reliable, unbiased source, but the information it provides on the subject is basically all true: http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/z/zombies.html
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 12 Mar 2008, 18:07
There is a section on the subject in my old marine biology book from high school, actually, part of a chapter talking about the various poisons and protective devices creatures under the sea use. Basically, if you commit certain crimes you end up undergoing a ritual that involves you eating (unbeknownst to you) the meat of a certain puffer fish. The skill of the medicine man can be determined if you end up dead or if he gets the dose just right, but basically the toxin in the puffer fish is a paralytic and so you are trapped in your own body and you witness your own burial and stuff, but then you aren't dead, and your brain is fucked over, and basically you are a slave to the voodoo guy.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 12 Mar 2008, 22:52
Damn!  Ummm . . . tarrasques vs. X-Wings?
TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

Depends on how many X-wings, they can't use lasers or it would deflect them, they would need to use their proton torpedoes or concussion missiles. The Tarrasque wouldn't stay dead, though, they would have to... Sending it into a sun would probably continuously kill it as it regenerated, but I am not sure if the Sun Crusher could even stand that much pressure, I think they would just have to drag it out into space, maybe dump it into the maw.

Yes, I am a nerd, I used to read a lot of EU books.

Thinking about the evolution thing again, I would see people without allergies eventually becoming more commonplace, especially ones like hay fever and poison ivy. Eyesight as well, since glasses would not be easy to find or make.

edit: maybe not poison ivy, since someone with the allergy could still run through it if they had zombies on their tails, but hay fever would be a big disadvantage noise-wise and visibility-wise.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 12 Mar 2008, 23:25
So far the list of people who've convinced me they are going to survive are still pretty much at me, Khar, Jon, and possibly Jimmy and Patrick...

I am going to eat your fucking brains for that.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 13 Mar 2008, 05:18
There's a reason you'll be wanting to eat brains, Zombie-ass.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: blanktom on 13 Mar 2008, 06:23
i go away for a couple months and this thread is still going.

WAY TO DISPELL THE INTERNET NERD STEREOTYPE GUYS.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 13 Mar 2008, 07:19
TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

You and I both know that while most fantasy settings are limited to one Tarrasque, Faerun has more than one.  So clearly the encounter would have to happen on Faerun, in the presence of some manner of Tarrasque herder.  I'm sorry, I need to go write fan fiction now.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Iron_Fist on 17 Mar 2008, 06:29
Dammit I made this very same thread not that long ago... Then again I haven't been here in ages and my sense of forum time may be somewhat distorted... How long ago was it? Anyway my plan is detailed therein. Although due to some recent things in my local area I feel a few changes may be necessitated. I will post the appended version soon.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: 0bsessions on 17 Mar 2008, 08:10
Yeah, your thread on the subject is almost a year old. I definitely wouldn't class that as "not that long ago," especially considering this thread itself is almost a full five months old now.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 17 Mar 2008, 08:15
Tarrasques are immune to energy weapons, so the X-Wings lasers would be useless. However, Proton torpedoes have a yield of a couple of kilotons, so I'm guessing they could probably be effective. They'd still need a sorcerer to do the Close Portal spell to completely kill the Tarrasque though...would a Jedi be able to do that?

I feel so geeeeeky.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Mar 2008, 02:20
TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

You and I both know that while most fantasy settings are limited to one Tarrasque, Faerun has more than one.  So clearly the encounter would have to happen on Faerun, in the presence of some manner of Tarrasque herder.  I'm sorry, I need to go write fan fiction now.
Oh? Really? I didn't know that, I had only ever seen them in the Monster Manual.

Khar, I thought the Tarrasque needed to be wish or miracled out of existence? Of course... why they couldn't do that *before* going toe to toe with it is beyond me. Maybe the magic resistance while it is alive makes that difficult? I can't remember the rules for SR off the top of my head though, I almost always play melee classes.

I don't know what yield the torpedoes have, but from what I can scrounge up online, they only do 9d10 damage using the d20 rules, which means an average of 49.5 damage per torpedo, the x-wing can fire two at a time, which would mean 99 damage before damage reduction, which is either 15 or 30 depending on whether two being fired at the same time counts as the same attack or not. After that, there is the 40 points of regeneration per round. And the Tarrasque has 858 HP.

So while six multi-kiloton warheads ought to reduce the Tarrasque to so much chunky salsa for a time, thanks to how d20 games seem to be afraid of making vehicles powerful, lest players complain when they get instakilled by a 120mm tank shell or a LAW (solution: Don't get shot, dumbass, use cover), the Tarrasque would not be killed by a single x-wing, it can't carry enough torpedoes. And you should feel geeky, you are posting on an online forum for a webcomic.

Oh, and pilsner? just to be pedantic, it is Abeir-Toril it would have to be set on, Faerun is a continent on Toril, and I doubt the tarrasques would really give a damn if someone told them they were only allowed on one continent.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 18 Mar 2008, 02:56
Multiple tarrasques? You keep giving me more and more reasons to hate you, forgotten realms!
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 18 Mar 2008, 03:00
At what place on that list is Drizzt?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 18 Mar 2008, 04:44
Ultimately, most of it's problems can be summed up with the apparent fact of its writers being munchkins.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 18 Mar 2008, 05:09
Khar, I thought the Tarrasque needed to be wish or miracled out of existence? Of course... why they couldn't do that *before* going toe to toe with it is beyond me. Maybe the magic resistance while it is alive makes that difficult? I can't remember the rules for SR off the top of my head though, I almost always play melee classes.


I'm pretty sure that you need to reduce it's HP to 0, then perform a successful close Portal. The Tarrasque exists simultaneously in two dimensions, so you need to destroy its extension into this dimension, then close the connection to fully kill it, and even then it's only really banished.

9d10? That's utterly ridiculous. Proton torpedoes have thermonuclear warheads. They can vapourise whole city blocks.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Iron_Fist on 18 Mar 2008, 06:22
Yeah, your thread on the subject is almost a year old. I definitely wouldn't class that as "not that long ago," especially considering this thread itself is almost a full five months old now.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, really? Well yeah, appeneded version soon, when current drains on my time like school and homework are no longer applicable. The long weekend for example.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 18 Mar 2008, 07:25
I still want a giant fucking machine gun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 18 Mar 2008, 09:58
I admit that had I the military stockpile wishlist, I'd still probably grab an assault rifle over a baseball bat. It's just the availability of one of those doesn't seem likely. But in the even that I was a survivor who had the chance to join up with a military outfit and get my own machine gun in the case of a zombie outbreak, knowing me I'd trip over my claw hammer in my haste to grab that gleamin' gun.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 19 Mar 2008, 00:50
D&D 3.5 Tarrasque
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm)

Also in the newest Star Wars RPG Proton torpedoes do 9d10*2 damage in space. However, it hardly matters, since X-Wings would never be attackable by the mostly animal intellegence Tarrasque who can not reach them. It would be a tie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 19 Mar 2008, 02:11
I'm pretty sure that you need to reduce it's HP to 0, then perform a successful close Portal. The Tarrasque exists simultaneously in two dimensions, so you need to destroy its extension into this dimension, then close the connection to fully kill it, and even then it's only really banished.

9d10? That's utterly ridiculous. Proton torpedoes have thermonuclear warheads. They can vapourise whole city blocks.
Maybe that was how it was in 1 and 2e? I haven't played either of those, just 3.5.

Like I said, the people that stat vehicles are unwilling to make them actually as strong as they are, because players might complain if they couldn't shoot down the death star with a blaster pistol, and had to actually get a vehicle  :roll:.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 19 Mar 2008, 05:30
It's probably because they were designed for a different type of game. I mean really, theres no point giving a ship 120000000 hitpoints and 12d800 damage, when it can be cancelled down to keep things much easier.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 19 Mar 2008, 09:10
Yeah I was about to comment that comparing the specific number of dice between games is rather silly (or even within a game; as I recall, in DnD 1 HP in ship-to-ship combat is equivalent to 10 HP for creatures,) but I wasn't sure if both games were part of some universal gaming system I didn't know of (sort of a GURPS construction.)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 19 Mar 2008, 09:39
D&D 3.5 Tarrasque
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm)

Am I misreading that or does it say that Tarrasques get a 14 charisma?  Does this mean someone on Second Life right now is yiffing a Tarrasque? 

You know what.  Forget I said anything.  I just don't want to know.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Mar 2008, 15:41
I saw someone yiffing a giant crab once in Second Life.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 19 Mar 2008, 17:17
He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 19 Mar 2008, 18:08
Yeah.

With his cock.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 19 Mar 2008, 19:07
He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.

Holy shit I'm not the only one who's heard that?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: kafromet on 20 Mar 2008, 08:10
all you need is a HUGE balloon, it will be solar powered, and a fan will keep it in the air, and all you will need is food, to last it out. and a basket big enough to sleep in. and bring home made bombs if you wanna ahve some fun :) craters with zombie parts around em' booyah!
Water?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: kafromet on 20 Mar 2008, 08:58
My plans really depend on where I am.  If I'm at work or away from the house, step one is getting home.  If I'm a t work I have to go down 4 flights of stairs to my truck.  I have a standing lamp in my office, the main part of it is a metal bar about 4 feet long.  It's steel and heavy.  Hopefully that will get me to my truck.  Once I'm in the truck I have a machete and a handgun.  Home is only a ten minute drive from work, or about an hour on foot.

Once I get to the house I'm in pretty good shape.  I hunt and camp, so I have about 2 weeks worth of old army MRE's, several shotguns and rifles and loads of ammo.  All of this is in my upstairs loft, so the basic plan is to go upstairs, run the bathtub full of water (in case water service gets interupted), push the dresser and couch down the single stairway to block access and black out both upstairs windows.  I travel a lot for business and a friend gave me a little alarm thing for hotel rooms.  It's basically just a light beam that sets off an alarm when something breaks it.  That goes at the bottom of the stairs in case something tries to come up while I am asleep.  If anything steps onto the stairs it gets shot.  Anything.  My cat?  Shot.  The nice old lady who lives next door?  Shot.  An adorable orphan? Shot.  Anything.  I'd move around as little as possible and wait until I had 2 days of food left.  At that point, if things had not been restored to order, my next step would be to get out of town.

My folks have a farm about 3 hours drive (I could walk it in 2-3 days) away from where I live.  They have cattle, a huge garden, corn fields and are on well water.  They can literally be self sufficient.  I would go out the bedroom window, onto the roof, and be able to drop into the back of my truck with a shotgun, a rifle and my machete.  I'd then drive, walk, etc my way to the farm.  Anyone who gets within 100 yards of me will be told one time to go away.  Any response other than going away will result in me shooting them.

Once I get to the farm I would find my folks, assuming they are not obviously zombified, we'd have a quick round of strip show and tell, at gunpoint if necessary. This is the most disturbing part of my plan...having to see my mom naked, but if either of them have so much as a scratch....I think you know what happens.  There is about a 100 yard clear zone around the house, we have rifles, shotguns and plenty of ammo, my mother cans food, so even in the dead of winter we would have enough supplies to last months.  Between hunting and the garden we could live out there forever, which I'd be willing to do if the Zombie-pocalpys required it.

The rest of the world is on it's own, good luck.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 20 Mar 2008, 09:04
Edit buttonnnnnnnnnnnn
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 20 Mar 2008, 11:30
There are no edit buttons in the zombie apocalypse, Patrick. Duh.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 20 Mar 2008, 11:33
Well there are zombie edit buttons but instead of editing posts, they eat brains.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 20 Mar 2008, 11:36
intelligent poster: Oh shoot I misspelled something.

*click*

intelligent poster: GAAAAH!!!

...

formerly intelligent poster: OMG WTF LOLOLOL
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 20 Mar 2008, 15:04
Yeah I was about to comment that comparing the specific number of dice between games is rather silly (or even within a game; as I recall, in DnD 1 HP in ship-to-ship combat is equivalent to 10 HP for creatures,) but I wasn't sure if both games were part of some universal gaming system I didn't know of (sort of a GURPS construction.)
Well, they are both based around the D20 system. There are some minor balance differences between different d20 games, but not enough to make up for that huge difference. I haven't seen any rules for ship to ship in D+D, but in D20 modern (future, actually), fights between different types of troops get fucked up horribly. And of course, with the stupid rules for falling object damage, it is possible to drop pebbles on an Abrams to kill it, if you are on the tenth floor. Of course, a good DM would do that "rocks fall, everyone dies" to anyone that tries that cheese, but not all DMs know that the final decision-making power lies in their hands.

I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Zombie Patrick on 20 Mar 2008, 15:39
There are no edit buttons in the zombie apocalypse, Patrick. Duh.

YOU KNOW WHAT KATIE? YOUR BRAIN WILL BE REALLY TASTY WITH SOME SOY AND WASABE.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 20 Mar 2008, 17:26
He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.

Holy shit I'm not the only one who's heard that?

I was under the impression that everybody has heard that.  :|
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 21 Mar 2008, 15:21
I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.

I don't have Urbana Arcana with me at my parents house, but I'm fairly sure it's in there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 21 Mar 2008, 15:48
So um. How about a vampire apocalypse instead? I would throw myself at the opportunity to become a vampire. I don't like daylight anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jill the ripper on 21 Mar 2008, 16:16
Vampires?
What about wolf-men?

It'd be not-so-bad to be a vampire, 'cept for the whole having to kill people all the time part, as long as it was the sexy kind of vampire.
Not the creepy Nosferatu kind. Gross.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 21 Mar 2008, 17:33
I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.

I don't have Urbana Arcana with me at my parents house, but I'm fairly sure it's in there.
It isn't in the SRD version, that is the only one I have. It is in the D+D SRD though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 21 Mar 2008, 18:44
It'd be not-so-bad to be a vampire, 'cept for the whole having to kill people all the time part, as long as it was the sexy kind of vampire.

Vampires don't necessarilly have to kill people, just drink their blood. There's a difference. It doesn't even necessarily have to be human blood. Vampires have a far, far larger range of diversity than zombies. Some vampires turn everyone they bite into vampires unless they kill them. Some vampires have a special process (normally the victim has to drink the vampires blood as well, a la Anne Rice). Sometimes only virgins can become vampires (a la Hellsing), or, in a complete reverse, only those dedicated to evil can become vampires (a la Hammer Horror's Dracula). Sometimes those not turned into vampires die, sometimes they become zombies or ghouls. Sometimes vampirism is a physical virus, sometimes it is completely supernatural, sometimes it is a cross between the two. Sometimes vampires will be almost instantly vapourised by the sun (a la Blade), sometimes sunlight just causes them discomfort, or they have sensitive vision that must be protected with sunglasses (a la Razorblade Smile). Sometimes vampires have all the physical properties of humans, sometimes they can't be seen in mirrors, and sometimes they can't even be recorded or use telephones (a la Ultraviolet). Sometimes a wooden stake through the heart is instakill (Buffy), and sometimes it merely induces paralysis (World of Darkness). Vampires powers and abilities also vary dramatically, from humans with above average strength and speed who can take a few bullets without dying, to something more approaching demigod status, with powers up to and including: flight, true superstrength and superspeed (able to chuck cross-country locomotives around like chaff and move so fast that a human cannot even see the movement), teleportation, full psychic powers, telekinesis, pyrokinesis, climbing sheer surfaces, seeing through walls and other super-senses, becoming insubstantial at will, turning into fog, bats, insects, shadows, complete mastery of their own physical form, raising and commanding the undead, omnipotent hypnosis (able to force someone to kill themselves with a thought), stopping peoples hearts at will, mastery of black magic, summoning demons, precognition, etc. etc. etc.

Planning for a vampire apocalypse would be impossible.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Melodic on 21 Mar 2008, 19:12
Unless, of course, you're Robert Neville. In which case you bust out the record player and get drunk.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StarmanJr on 21 Mar 2008, 20:13
and then of course stalk the daytime searching for sleeping vampires to stake and take to a cremated end.

man, vincent price the action hero. priceless. that was terrible.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 21 Mar 2008, 22:51
Starman, I know I've seen your avatar somewhere, its a movie, right?

But anyway, http://www.white-wolf.com/

read those books, and you'll see why vampires, werewolves, mages and the like can't take over the world. Because, despite the inherent weakness of being human, there are more of us than there are of them. Only reason zombies pose the apolcalyptic threat is because there is the potential for there to be more of them than us, really, really quickly. Preparing for anything other than a zombie apocalypse would be a waste of time, and i'm with Patrick, I'd totally dig being a vampire.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 21 Mar 2008, 23:01
We would have to agree on the type of vampire if we were to discuss that. As I understand it, the Bram Stoker version wasn't as easily killed as the modern versions. It took an ash limb through the heart to pin him into his coffin, he could survive sunlight (but couldn't use his powers in it), could survive holy symbols (though I think they discomforted him), but I don't think he had super strength or extremely fast movement. I have never read the book, though, so I don't know.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 21 Mar 2008, 23:04
How did they kill him, did they have to cut off his head? I bet they had to cut off his head guys.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StarmanJr on 21 Mar 2008, 23:25
a motherfucking bowie.

no joke.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 22 Mar 2008, 06:31
Yup, hacked off his head with a bowie knife.

That wouldn't work with every vampire though, oh no. Decapitation is normally the safest bet though. That's the traditional way to do it. Decapitation and/or burning. If you encounter a vampire that can survive both of those, you might want to reconsider locating your civilisation somewhere safer, like outer space or the bottom of the sea (It is generally agreed that vampires at least greatly dislike swimming in moving water, and normally can only cross it the same way we would, with boats and such). But then again, you occasionally get vampires who can stride across the sea-floor quite happily. And if you got a vampire civilisation developing, they would probably build vampire submarines.

Thermonuclear weaponry will almost certainly kill any vampire. When sunlight doesn't work, drop a tiny sun on the fucker.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StarmanJr on 22 Mar 2008, 08:32
one of the interesting myths of vampires in my opinion is that if they are not around their coffin when daylight begins to come around, they can bury themselves underground and survive the sunlight, for apparently, the cold earth simulates the same environment of a coffin and the nutrients of the earth replenish their body.

if i saw a sleeping vampire head sticking out of the ground, i would show him the feet that won me a scholarship for 'kick the can'.

srsly.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 22 Mar 2008, 08:36
I think generally they would bury themselves so they weren't just an incapacitated head sticking out the ground.

Any ones of them that actually wanted to take advantage of the whole immortality thing, anyway.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 22 Mar 2008, 09:55
Some of them can actually turn into dirt, or wood. But actually he's right, in Vampire Hunter D there's a scene where he's got to bury himself in dirt and he really just covers himself up a bit in a hollowed out tree trunk. I think, its been a while since I saw that one.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 22 Mar 2008, 10:25
if i saw a sleeping vampire head sticking out of the ground, i would show him the feet that won me a scholarship for 'kick the can'.
You would kick a vampire in the face? damn yo
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: StarmanJr on 22 Mar 2008, 10:31
Some of them can actually turn into dirt, or wood. But actually he's right, in Vampire Hunter D there's a scene where he's got to bury himself in dirt and he really just covers himself up a bit in a hollowed out tree trunk. I think, its been a while since I saw that one.
ah, yoshitaka amano's work is unparalleled.

anyway, i guess the point is that yeah, a vampire-ocalypse is a moot point.

with zombies, it would be simple for me. i've been looking for something to swing my chen hanwei at...

after that, well, i'm good with improvising.

You would kick a vampire in the face? damn yo

and then i would so teabag him. wtf-bbq-pwned.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 22 Mar 2008, 14:39
Some of them can actually turn into dirt, or wood. But actually he's right, in Vampire Hunter D there's a scene where he's got to bury himself in dirt and he really just covers himself up a bit in a hollowed out tree trunk. I think, its been a while since I saw that one.

You mean in Bloodlust? The vampire hunter chick buries him to pay him back for binding her wounds earlier. But D isn't a vampire, he's a dhampir, and he isn't affected by light, but by heat. He buries himself to keep cool.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 22 Mar 2008, 16:44
It'd be not-so-bad to be a vampire, 'cept for the whole having to kill people all the time part, as long as it was the sexy kind of vampire.

I can't remember the exact name for my type of vampire. I do know, however, that it's the type that can only feed on a certain demographic. My choice was teenage girls. I immediately maxed out my looks and charisma.

...god damn I lead a sad life.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 22 Mar 2008, 19:11
What game?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 22 Mar 2008, 19:25
You mean in Bloodlust? The vampire hunter chick buries him to pay him back for binding her wounds earlier. But D isn't a vampire, he's a dhampir, and he isn't affected by light, but by heat. He buries himself to keep cool.

Like I said, its been a while.

Is this Vampire: The Masquerade Patrick?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: pilsner on 23 Mar 2008, 03:15
Actually the sad thing is, he was playing Monopoly.  With his first cousin.  He probably doesn't want to get into it.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 23 Mar 2008, 07:23
Honestly, is that really sadder than the more likely alternative?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Sox on 23 Mar 2008, 08:16
A friend and I once bought a pack of jelly babies and a pack of gummy bears. We picked sides, equipped them with lego helmets/armour/weapons and then used a cluedo board and a set of dice to lead our gelatin armies to war.

Best game ever.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 23 Mar 2008, 08:23
You ate downed units, right?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 23 Mar 2008, 11:51
Yup, hacked off his head with a bowie knife.

That wouldn't work with every vampire though, oh no. Decapitation is normally the safest bet though. That's the traditional way to do it. Decapitation and/or burning.
And that way, if you accidentally attack someone that is innocent, you don't hurt them.

Oh wait...

I think I may have said this, but part of the problem is that there are so many vampire myths, and different stories have given them different superpowers and weaknesses, we would need to agree on one kind to theorize about.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: calenlass on 23 Mar 2008, 13:55
The boss in this hella long dungeon I am playing in right now is a vampire. I heard whispers between the DM and someone else about how he is going to try and cast something and hold me hostage against my party, I think.

Fuckin' vampires.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 23 Mar 2008, 14:15
Is this Vampire: The Masquerade Patrick?

Yeah it's VTM. Only RPG I've ever played in any respectable amount.

In D&D I've only ever engaged in open-air battles because we never had time to do anything else because nobody ever had time to play.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 23 Mar 2008, 16:28
Man, what's sad is I'm a wannabe World of Darkness player. a wannabe WoD player, I can't get anyone to play with me.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 23 Mar 2008, 16:37
Wow... Your sig seems awful apt, that is sad.

You could probably join a PbP game online. Or an IM-based game.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 23 Mar 2008, 22:58
I forget what I did to make him say that...

And god, the last thing I want to do is join another RP forum. Back in my senior year of high school I was invited to one with some lower classmen and.... harry potter *Shudder*

Plus I think an IM game would just be downright awkward. I prefer human contact, if i wanted to be on the internets I'd just continue to play World of Warcraft.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 24 Mar 2008, 00:54
You could probably join a PbP game online. Or an IM-based game.

Have you seen a PbP WoD game? Look, I like White Wolf, I really do. But PbP games often devolve into overwrought circle jerks as it is. You don't want to play one with a game that has what amounts to a bloody angst meter unless you're seriously into that kinda thing.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: LordNagash on 24 Mar 2008, 02:21
You could find a virtual tabletop game. The biggest issue I have is all the rpers I know do not want to play VtM, and I have not met people who play that I could stand to play with.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 24 Mar 2008, 03:07
I have never played anything WoD-related, so I wouldn't know about it, I was just making a suggestion. I haven't had any of the stereotypical bad experiences with Rpers on PbP games, but then again, they could have been going on in the background without me paying attention, being oblivious has its uses.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 24 Mar 2008, 07:28
Try playing Exalted. It's more fun than World of Darkness for a start, given that it's essentially based on Ninja Scrolls.

Once in Exalted I was hunting these pirates, and they laid an ambush for me, but I found out about it my shagging the inn-keepers daughter and pumping* her for info. So first thing the pirates know is their ship is on fire, then they see me running across the top of the fucking sea firing endless magical arrows made of fire at them. Then they all died.





*hurr
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Mar 2008, 11:15
Well I wouldn't play VtM anymore, being as its no longer in print, I've got a bunch of the new WoD series books.

Also, Exalted Second Edition just came out. If I could find somebody to play that with, I probably would. Though I'm not really much of a fan of anime inspired superhero RPGs...
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 24 Mar 2008, 18:17
VtM's out of print? How sad, that's the only one I really liked, you don't have to concentrate so hard on medieval-esque surroundings, you can do it modern-day and concentrate on mainly gameplay. Besides, being a vampire is badass.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Mar 2008, 19:24
Well now they've released the New World of Darkness, which is more or less like Second Edition. So far they've got the corebook, and then more or less the updated other books. Vampire: The Requiem, Werewolf: The Forsaken, Mage: The Awakening, Promethean: The Created, and Changeling: The Lost. Right now they're working on Hunter: The Vigil and they've got as always a ton of supplement books in edition to the core books.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 24 Mar 2008, 21:57
Man, that's a gouge.

Who's betting White Wolf time their editions by the time it takes a dead-eyed girl who posts on the internet under the alias 'NyghtsRequiem' to buy all 35 volumes or however many there were of sourcebooks for the old World of Darkness.

There were looooots of fucking sourcebooks.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Mar 2008, 22:10
and there are loooooots more for the new one already, even without things like Wraith and Demon and shit like that. There's gotta be 50 out already. but really, Can you blame White Wolf? Everyone wants to make money, and OWoD has been out for a long time, and there are a lot of fundamental changes to the NWoD to make it a completely different game series, its not just recycled trash. They've replaced a lot of the canon, taken out all metaplot and focused on being more of a toolset for Storytellers to make their own. The game is more focused towards smaller storyarcs that aren't quite as world spread, and I like the 5x5 splat(ex. 5 vampire clans/5 vampire covenants) they use for the three core supernaturals a lot more than what I've read and seen of the OWoD. There's no Apocalypses or impending Ascensions or anything like that. When they switched over to the new book they released more or less these endgame stories for the OWoD books, which ended the metaplot over the course of a couple years, so its not like they just left everyone high and dry with new rules.

A lot of people still play OWoD and you can still find the books in places like Drivethru RPG, and anyway, NWoD has Promethean now, which I really sorta want to play (Think Frankenstein's monster, and other similar creatures created by man in various myths)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 25 Mar 2008, 07:46
Vampire: The Requiem, Werewolf: The Forsaken, Mage: The Awakening, Promethean: The Created, and Changeling: The Lost
Are those seriously the names? lol
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 25 Mar 2008, 08:40
Well...Yeah, they are. But they aren't emo without an explanation. Each one is explained ad nauseum within each book.


Okay, Maybe the vampire one is still a bit angsty emo
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 25 Mar 2008, 09:21
Yeah, my old group once played a short arc designed as a parody of WoD games set in the Shadowrun universe (this worked out out rather well, the settings and systems have a history). We called the campaign "Cyberzombie: The Existentialling." Best. Campaign. Ever.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 25 Mar 2008, 11:49
Hey Vampires have a right to be emo okay they can NEVER FIND LOVE.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 25 Mar 2008, 21:11
That's bullshit man. A vampire can find hella love.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 25 Mar 2008, 21:18
Yeah, just said lovers tend to get freaked out once they find out that the person really was a vampire. One night stands with no chance of dying from STDs works though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Mar 2008, 06:21
That's bullshit man. A vampire can find hella love.

I know I may not have a great deal of experience with The Ladies but I am pretty sure body heat is kindof FUCKING IMPERATIVE
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 26 Mar 2008, 08:29
Dude, you seduce them, you wine them, you dine them, then you turn them into a vampire, keep them as your lover cum indentured magical sex slave for a few decades, then set up a cunning plot to have them destroyed by your own worst enemy when you tire of them.

You are not thinking like a proper vampire.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 26 Mar 2008, 09:16
Man, your idea of love is a lot fucking different from mine, Khar.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 26 Mar 2008, 09:22
Man, you don't get far in WoD games by being nice.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Mar 2008, 13:24
Dude, you seduce them, you wine them, you dine them, then you turn them into a vampire, keep them as your lover cum indentured magical sex slave for a few decades, then set up a cunning plot to have them destroyed by your own worst enemy when you tire of them.

You are not thinking like a proper vampire.

Listen you, I have 'eat food' as one of my virtues. Unfortunately I also have 'hard of hearing' as one of my flaws. But hey, at least my flaws are accurate for real life.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 26 Mar 2008, 13:36
Eat food is a hella useful virtue.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Mar 2008, 13:47
Fuck yes it is. It feeds me TWICE: the first time with disgusting mortal-food, and the second time with delicious teenage girl neck blood.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 26 Mar 2008, 15:53
wait what? Maybe its because I never read the old WoD, but nowadays virtues and vices are based on the seven heavenly virtues and the seven deadly sins... Or are you guys just parodying it now?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 26 Mar 2008, 16:35
I can take a photo of my character sheet tomorrow if you want.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 26 Mar 2008, 21:39
I'll take your word for it. No need to show me your "character sheet".
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Spluff on 27 Mar 2008, 01:13
That's bullshit man. A vampire can find hella love.

"Oh, I like it when you nibble my neck like that, baby. OH SHI-"
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: KharBevNor on 28 Mar 2008, 09:36
Technically they're merits and flaws, not vices and virtues.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 28 Mar 2008, 12:20
Oh okay, that makes a lot more sense.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: trebach on 10 Apr 2008, 22:31
If the zombies do turn out to be supernatural, then another possible plan presents itself:

Step 1: Find a vampire.
Step 2: Induve vampire to turn you into a vampire.
Step 3: Find a trenchcoat, a badass sword and some significant firepower.
Step 4: Kill everything.

I may have been watching too much Hellsing recently. And by recently I mean over the last five years. But seriously, just get vampirised then flip the fuck out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ncgEnAEuto).

Two plans:
1. Find Ricky (http://imdb.com/title/tt0757215/) and get him to turn me into a vampire. Or..
2. Go to Green Top to get some guns, and then go to my secret island near Atikokan, Ontario.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 10 Apr 2008, 23:10
The undead thread is undead again!

So uh. In case of zombies, pipe bombs. Holy shit pipe bombs. Imagine what those suckers would do to a zombie. Motherfucker wouldn't have appendages left.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: MadassAlex on 11 Apr 2008, 01:39
Uh, my idea of killing a horde of zombies is comandeering a thousand amps and playing Yngwie Malmsteen's Black Star until the sound destroys their already rotten flesh.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 11 Apr 2008, 06:04
Or you could play (insert band here) and make them suicide. You would need to take steps to protect yourself from hearing it, though.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Thaes on 11 Apr 2008, 06:12
Why should we do anything? Why couldn´t we just go with the flow and enjoy the joys of undeath?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 11 Apr 2008, 15:41
Because that is mainstream. And this way, you can be Vincent Price, Charlton Heston, and Will Smith. At the same time.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Alex C on 11 Apr 2008, 17:19
Don't forget Bruce Campbell.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 11 Apr 2008, 19:25
You missed my reference, I meant you could be the last man on earth. Though I guess Will Smith doesn't count, depending on whether you count a child and a woman as "man".
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Thaes on 12 Apr 2008, 01:41
A question rose in my mind: what if I was the only one actually wanting to join the undead horde? Would that make me an indie or a mainstreamist? Because, while I would be independent from the mainstream of thoughts of the living, I would belong to the mainstream of the undead (should there even be such a thing...)
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 12 Apr 2008, 06:57
depending on whether you count a child and a woman as "man".

If you don't count women as 'man' then I will be in my room, praying for every other man on earth to be struck dead simultaneously.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Caleb on 12 Apr 2008, 12:30
I think we would all be screwed if there was a zombie invasion...

...with vampires leading it!

That would be the ultimate undead senario.  Did they ever make a movie like that?  I know there was that scene in Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust where the vampire attacked the hunters with a bunch of ghouls/ zombie vampires.

In the event of a plain zombie outbreak I am near enough to rural areas to make it to a wilderness/protected forest area where there should be no other people around.  I am betting that the bigger outbreak would hit somewhere else first giving me a chance to grab a crapload of supplies.

And, despite my avatar, I would not be dumb enough to try to use a chainsaw on a zombie.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: sean on 12 Apr 2008, 14:36
I dunno if any of you have heard about this or if there has been a thread about it, I just read about Humans vs. Zombies (http://webfeatsdesign.com/hvz/) in the washington post magazine. This has got to be one of the most awesome things I have ever seen.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: ledhendrix on 13 Apr 2008, 11:09
I found this at the bottom of a cave last week.

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2198/2410253995_f5e0557e10.jpg?v=0)

I was convinced that it was going to rise from dead and trample me to death in a horrible zombie cow death scene. I really fucking hate cows.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 13 Apr 2008, 15:49
I dunno if any of you have heard about this or if there has been a thread about it, I just read about Humans vs. Zombies (http://webfeatsdesign.com/hvz/) in the washington post magazine. This has got to be one of the most awesome things I have ever seen.
I remember hearing about that, read a topic from a college student whose campus was shut down when someone was walking around with a "realistic-looking" nerf gun, it took more than three hours for the people in charge to discern that it wasn't, in fact, a real gun, and even longer for them to announce an end to the lockdown. At least, we can assume they figured it out in three hours, because that was when they sent out messages saying that evening classes would be taking place, which I don't see them doing if they weren't sure yet.

Vampire-wise, I think our screwedness really depends on what kind of vampire it is. If it is one of the Bram Stoker kind, we would be really screwed, but if it is one of the more modern and weak ones, all you need is either silver bullets or old .303 surplus, even, if you can get the kind with wood tips rather than aluminum tips.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 13 Apr 2008, 20:17
Ha. That Humans vs. Zombies thing started at Goucher College? That's one of the small private colleges near Towson, where I go to. Know a lot of kids from there.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: muteKi on 14 Apr 2008, 00:01
I think we would all be screwed if there was a zombie invasion...

...with vampires leading it!

That would be the ultimate undead senario.  Did they ever make a movie like that?  I know there was that scene in Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust where the vampire attacked the hunters with a bunch of ghouls/ zombie vampires.

In the event of a plain zombie outbreak I am near enough to rural areas to make it to a wilderness/protected forest area where there should be no other people around.  I am betting that the bigger outbreak would hit somewhere else first giving me a chance to grab a crapload of supplies.

And, despite my avatar, I would not be dumb enough to try to use a chainsaw on a zombie.

After 16 hours of Castlevania I have to agree with this. My friend, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 14 Apr 2008, 14:32
It's all well and good to have survival plans and material needs mapped out, but how exactly would you emotionally hold up? I mean, there's a certain point where, no matter how mentally tough and prepared you are, the human psyche just breaks down. It'd be pretty damn hard to live indefinitely in the wild while also fending off flesh-eating creatures who could very well bear the visage of your family and friends.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Nodaisho on 14 Apr 2008, 15:42
That is part of why the first order of business is to keep as far away from them as you can, if you can't see them well, you can't pick them out as someone you know.

I suppose it would be similar to shellshock, people would continue operating, but many of them just wouldn't be there, lights are on but nobody is home.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 14 Apr 2008, 23:05
I'm certain that I'd lose a lot of family and good friends and even just "Hey let's get a beer and look at girls" buddies. It'd fuck me up something bad, but I have made cross-country or international moves once every 2-4 years or so since 3rd grade. I'm pretty used to never hearing from people ever again.

I used to be able to get attached to people really easily, but after a majority of my life has been spent the way it has, I really don't have that anymore. So while it sucks for me in the normal world, in the zombie apocalypse, I'd be set.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 14 Apr 2008, 23:28
Shell shock would be a blessing compared to everyone you ever knew becoming a flesh eating monster. Sure, the Germans and the Japanese would bomb and kill us, but they were enemies, not once-friends who are trying to eat our flesh. As far as if I really had to think about it I'd go batshit insane if I had to tough it out alone, despite that being the best damn way to stay alive. After the Zombocalypse starts, connections to people only makes it harder to put them down when they become infected.
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: jhocking on 15 Apr 2008, 07:30
I have made cross-country or international moves once every 2-4 years or so since 3rd grade. I'm pretty used to never hearing from people ever again.

high-five?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 15 Apr 2008, 20:59
Wait, Patrick, so the fact that you don't have very close ties to people and have moved every few years means that you wouldn't eventually lose your mind after living in the fucking boonies while every vestige of humanity is slaughtered, devoured and annihilated around you? No matter how isolated of a spot you go to, sooner or later they'd catch up with you, and probably in large numbers. You'd really be able to remain calm and unemotive? Even if you didn't feel some kind of sadness, your brain's generally unavoidable reaction would be to drown every fiber of your being in adrenaline and scream at your body "HOLYSHITRUNYOU'REGOINGTODIETHEWORLDISENDEDANDYOURECOMPLETELYFUCKINGALONEANDTHERE'SNOWAYOUTEVER!!"
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Patrick on 15 Apr 2008, 21:39
Wait, Patrick, so the fact that you don't have very close ties to people and have moved every few years means that you wouldn't eventually lose your mind after living in the fucking boonies while every vestige of humanity is slaughtered, devoured and annihilated around you?

Yeah basically
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: RedLion on 16 Apr 2008, 17:30
Interesting. Misanthrope?
Title: Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 16 Apr 2008, 21:29
I bet Kim Jong Il would survive a zombocalypse. Or start it.