Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: jimbunny on 20 Dec 2007, 21:45

Title: Engagement rings
Post by: jimbunny on 20 Dec 2007, 21:45
So, I'm pretty much engaged right now, just don't have a ring(s) yet.

Wondering what this forum has to say about the whole business of rings. I like the idea of wedding bands. But the engagement ring? To me, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Right now, I think we're going to buy some simple bands for both of us, then maybe replace them with something else when we get hitched.

What do you guys think?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: SusurrusIgnoramus on 20 Dec 2007, 22:08
i think it's a bad idea to ask the internet for advice. :)

that being said, i agree that the idea of an engagement ring is kind of dumb.  marriage is supposed to be about two lives joining, not the size of a diamond.

but i'm just a dude. what do i know?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: calenlass on 20 Dec 2007, 22:18
Everyone should shower me in diamonds.




I will edge my power saws with them.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Emaline on 20 Dec 2007, 22:27
I don't get engagement rings either. If I ever got married(lord forbid), I think I'd just want to use the engagement ring as the wedding ring. And I would probably just get a silver band, or something. Nothing real fancy.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 20 Dec 2007, 22:53
my parent's rings are plain gold bands, literally zero design to them whatsoever besides the fact that they are round, err, rings. A ring is only tradition, a symbol telling the rest of the world that you are cut off from your promiscuous sex with the opposite gender. I personally find even the idea of a ring for marriage antiquated complete bullshit, but since I wouldn't want to look like a cheapo I'd still probably like to have one, as long as it looked cool.

       Cool like ice, Baby!
        /
  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Emaline on 20 Dec 2007, 23:10
See, I think the ring idea is a cool one. It shows you are connected with another person. I think thats neat.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 20 Dec 2007, 23:11
Standard gold band for me.  It's a nice symbol and a useful one (you hypothetically don't get into any awkward situations with strangers who are attracted to you and decide to be spontaneous).
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: thehollow on 20 Dec 2007, 23:16
doesn't mean it has to be some gaudy and opulent diamond though. Simple ones show your connection just as well. My mom's ring is a simple gold band with a mother-of-pearl (it's her favorite gem/stone/whatever, apparently) stone on it. Huge diamonds just look stupid.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Johnny C on 21 Dec 2007, 00:11
[img width= height=]http://M.assetbar.com/uua1XhNCG.gif[/img] (http://M.assetbar.com/achewood/uuasfC6Ng)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: ruyi on 21 Dec 2007, 02:11
oh that reminds me, i have tentatively decided that i want to avoid jewelery with inflated value like diamonds, so i don't want a diamond ring.

i have been meaning to ask, is there something foolish about this? does someone have a cynical counter to this stance? because i would like to know if there is something hypocritical or ineffective about it. i have been paranoid about the mindless teen liberal stereotype lately.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 21 Dec 2007, 02:17
"Any 20 year-old who isn't a liberal doesn't have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn't a conservative doesn't have a brain."- Winston Churchhill

best I can come up with?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 21 Dec 2007, 04:49
I'm not sure if you are looking for advice for you in particular, or just personal opinions of other people.

My advice type comment: Since you are "basically engaged" but it's not official, why not talk to your significant other about it, if you haven't already?  I know it's not very romantic, but since you're already in "engaged" territory without going down on bended knee, you're not following a classic courtship pattern anyway.

My personal opinion on jewelry:  Unless it's puncturing fleshy tissue (piercings are awesome), I'm not a fan.  It is a good thing I can't see myself settling down, because rings drive me CRAZY when I try to wear them.  I sorta get wedding bands though.  They're a nice tradition, rings symbolize eternity, and whoever mentioned their value as a social tool to identify unavailable folks was right.  Something I've seen that I like the idea of is a plain band engraved with something personal.  Simple, not gaudy, and more special than some big ol' rocks.

I knew a couple that got matching tattoos as their wedding "rings."  It seemed like a really cool idea until they got divorced.  I still think it's a neat idea, one that I'd consider considering if my life ever took that turn.  The only problem is that it's a lot harder to cover up a tat than it is to take off a ring if things go sour.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 21 Dec 2007, 04:56
Nothing says "unbreakable strength" like Titanium. Good for a man's wedding ring, and a great metaphor for a marriage.

That's just my opinion.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: fatty on 21 Dec 2007, 05:43
It's always been about the gold. If it ain't 24 carat, it damn ain't gold. </chinese>
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jimbunny on 21 Dec 2007, 05:59
Just looking for people's opinions, here. She's on the same page as I am - we've been talking about it for a long time now.

I like the wedding band thing for basically the same reasons mentioned above. It symbolizes eternity, as well as being bound to something. Which is really the reason that I don't like the engagement ring tradition - why should she have to wear a ring when I don't?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lunchbox on 21 Dec 2007, 06:05
Because it makes a lady feel special, that is why. It is no use asking us what you should do - ask your lady if she wants a gosh darned ring! Gosh!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 21 Dec 2007, 06:20
My wife and I were of the mind that the man's engagement ring became the wedding ring. Not traditional, surely, but it worked for us.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Cam on 21 Dec 2007, 07:05
I think Dr. McNinja had a good guest comic on the topic that is some what relevant.

http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=10&issue=7
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: mberan42 on 21 Dec 2007, 07:52
Anything less than 1 carat is too small. Anything other than Platinum is too cheap. Buy the girl you love a ring that she can flaunt in front of her girlfriends and her family.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: pen on 21 Dec 2007, 08:08
That statement makes me sad.  Being engaged isn't about flaunting the size of your ring.  That's like saying "Look!  My fiance thinks I'm worth $2,500."  Personally, I like rings.  Diamonds aren't my thing, but it's the tradition behind a ring in general that makes it special.   
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: redglasscurls on 21 Dec 2007, 08:27
I think engagement rings make more sense when you are going into a relatively long engagement. They can serve the same usefulness in signifying your status to others in the time until the wedding, and some of them are simply attractive pieces of jewelry in their own right. My fiancee and I are both ordering non-conflict-diamond, aircraft titanium rings from a local artist- it really is fun to pick something like this out with your significant other.
This is the sort of thing I would normally be fairly cynical about, but I am a fan of the general idea. Fuck the 'huge shiny rock or nothin' mindset, but I'd hope none of you are marrying a soulless golddigger anyway;)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Cartilage Head on 21 Dec 2007, 08:36
 I'm not 100 percent about the idea of engagment rings. I mean, if you are in a monotonous relationship with somebody, and plant to marry them, can't you just say so?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: mooface on 21 Dec 2007, 08:38
man whatever you guys, when i get engaged my future husband had better be buying me one giant fucking diamond to put on my finger.  and that diamond should preferably come with a promise of more diamonds to come for every year of our lives that we spend together.

basically what i am trying to say is that i am planning to marry for money, and i want a lot of shiny material things.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Liz on 21 Dec 2007, 08:52
Anything less than 1 carat is too small. Anything other than Platinum is too cheap. Buy the girl you love a ring that she can flaunt in front of her girlfriends and her family.

Damn straight. The women in your life have taught you well.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Dec 2007, 09:03
Everyone should shower me in diamonds.




I will edge my power saws with them.
That was the dykey-est thing I've ever read. I love it.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: SonofZ3 on 21 Dec 2007, 10:46
I have my mother's engagement ring she got from her grandmother (through my father of course) for when I find someone worth proposing to. I kinda like the idea of it being a family heirloom and all.
Also, in light of this post:
Anything less than 1 carat is too small. Anything other than Platinum is too cheap. Buy the girl you love a ring that she can flaunt in front of her girlfriends and her family.
I should share the best advice a woman ever gave me. "Wait until she says yes to show her the ring, if she'd say no based on a diamond then she doesn't love you."
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Emaline on 21 Dec 2007, 17:24
if you are in a monotonous relationship with somebody...

I'm almost fairly sure you mean monogamous. However, I agree that they are fairly interchangeable.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lines on 21 Dec 2007, 20:35
I like the idea of engagement rings, but I do not want a large stone of any type. I use my hands a lot and I don't like wearing rings as it is because they snag on things, among other things. They just aren't my thing. And I would have no problem with using my engagement ring as my wedding band or getting a cheap one and then replacing it with a better band when I actually get married. And if I did get stones, they'd have to be flush with the band itself - I'd prefer something done more interesting with the metal (silver or white gold) anyways. My mom laughed when I mentioned this to her once and said I'd regret that later on, but I just seriously do not want a fancy ring or a large stone.

One of my professors did something interesting ring-wise with his fiancť - he bought her a Mickey Mouse ring as an engagement band. She didn't feel the need for him to spend large amounts of money on a ring now when they could get two later on and she could just switch the MM one out for her wedding band. He was talking about how one of her coworkers thought that was silly and her response was, "He doesn't need to buy me a big ass diamond to show everyone that I belong to him." I thought that was cool.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: mberan42 on 21 Dec 2007, 21:15
See, I view it not as the woman belonging to the man so much as the woman flaunting herself, her diamond, and thusly her man to her friends (and whoever sees the ring). It's a good thing to have a flashy, sparkle-y diamond.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: calenlass on 21 Dec 2007, 22:23
You can give me a huge diamond, Matt. I would certainly appreciate it.

I've been needing a new drill bit for a while, see.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Bibliophile on 21 Dec 2007, 22:29
My fiance proposed with his great-grandmother's ring which still has their initials and the year (1924) engraved inside. In some small, tiny way I wish I could have picked out a ring that is to my own taste, but it's very sentimental and I adore it. Besides, if I had picked out my own ring it would be tin with a peice of coal stuck in the front, because that is about all we could afford. Doubly besides, Jesse could have proposed with an onion ring and I would have said yes. (Probably would have insisted on the bit of tin with coal stuck in it further on, though, for practical reasons. Mouldy onion ring = eww.) We still need to get wedding bands.

Traditonally the engagement ring appears to be so the lady had some idea of what the man was offering her in terms of how wealthy and generous he was (you know, in the days where couples got married before they had even held hands or kissed if they were proper). Nowadays it is to make the lady feel special. The wedding bands themselves have always been the important symbolic part of marriage.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ernest on 21 Dec 2007, 22:57
oh that reminds me, i have tentatively decided that i want to avoid jewelery with inflated value like diamonds, so i don't want a diamond ring.

i have been meaning to ask, is there something foolish about this? does someone have a cynical counter to this stance? because i would like to know if there is something hypocritical or ineffective about it. i have been paranoid about the mindless teen liberal stereotype lately.

I dunno, maybe that it should be a sacrifice to buy the ring to show her that you value her much more than other people and things. 

I guess you could just counter that by saying that you can find other ways to make your significant other feel special, but it's a tradition to do it this way.  And getting engaged is a big step. 

Sometimes I think I'm figuring shit out.  Like now.  I'm thinking that engagement rings are a not only a way to tell other guys "taken" but to show how formidable the guy is by how fancy the ring is.  It's like the guy marking his territory I guess.  Huh, engagement rings are pretty sexist.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Storm Rider on 21 Dec 2007, 23:13
Ruyi is a lady, dude.

I'm not sure how I feel about the thing. On the one hand, diamond rings could certainly be perceived as giving into the culture of materialism. On the other, making the lady feel special is important. The various responses on the subject from the ladies and dudes alike sort of highlight this dichotomy. Considering I can't even get into a relationship at the moment, I guess I haven't really thought about it seriously before.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lines on 21 Dec 2007, 23:17
See, I view it not as the woman belonging to the man so much as the woman flaunting herself, her diamond, and thusly her man to her friends (and whoever sees the ring). It's a good thing to have a flashy, sparkle-y diamond.

See, I don't like flaunting and I don't like flashy. Diamonds are nice, but I'd prefer them smaller and set around the band like this (http://www.sylviasantiques.com/images/20230-b.jpg) or this (http://www.sylviasantiques.com/images/20274-b.jpg). Now these (http://www.sylviasantiques.com/images/20364%20R3033-D.jpg) are very pretty, but I wouldn't want to wear them.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Eli on 22 Dec 2007, 02:56
Engagement rigs are nice, I guess. I'm not really sure of the purpose of them except to have something to present to your significant other when down on one knee.
As long as I've been in the relationship I'm in, we've just always talked about getting married in about 7-10 years when we're both through with college, have gotten a stable job and are basically well-established in the home and in financial areas. I see no real reason for him to propose or give me a ring. It's money better spent towards a living area or such. Haha. Believe it or not, we really are romantics.

Maybe talk to her and see what she wants? Or ask her friends or family if she has an opinion if you want it to be secret.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 22 Dec 2007, 08:02
I learned several important things when getting a ring for my fiancee:

First off, gold is passe. At least yellow gold; get white gold or platinum. I remember distinctly watching an episode of Sex and the City with my gf (she's a fan, don't judge me) and one character gets a gold ring as an engagement ring and the women all get a little disgusted. I had no idea why and my gf had to explain.

Two, steal one of her existing rings to get her size from. Do not expect any other source will be forthcoming for this crucial information. For example, my gf told me to bring her friend for help when I go ring shopping. As much fun as I have hanging out with this girl (it definitely took a lot of the pressure off,) she was absolutely useless as far as any information about what to get. At the very least I was expecting she would know the size (since apparently she had been briefed ahead of time) but she didn't know.

Third, geographical location matters in terms of your girlfriend's feelings about these things. For example, I found out she intends to wear both the engagement ring and wedding band on one finger after we get married. I had never seen that before she told me, but since then I've been seeing that a lot. I don't know if the reason I never noticed it before was just because I wasn't paying attention or if it's a midwest thing (until recently I hadn't been around many midwest folks,) but at any rate it's something to keep in mind.


BONUS TIP: It may be too late to affect anything on this point, but making her think you are broker than you are will work to your advantage. In my case, her friend assumed I could only afford a tiny rock, and was relieved that I had enough saved to get a carat (incidentally, as another example of how useless she was, this girl had little understanding of diamond pricing until we got to the first store.) Lowered expectations are your friend here, assuming she really love you and would say yes to whatever.


To people who are saying "if she loves you she won't care how big the diamond is," what you have to realize is that she'll say yes regardless, but she might feel disappointment, and if YOU love her then you will want to make her happy.


man whatever you guys, when i get engaged my future husband had better be buying me one giant fucking diamond
:-D
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ernest on 22 Dec 2007, 10:28
Ruyi is a lady, dude.

I know that.  The "you" in my post isn't her, it's just anybody, really.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Bibliophile on 22 Dec 2007, 13:42
First off, gold is passe. At least yellow gold; get white gold or platinum. I remember distinctly watching an episode of Sex and the City with my gf (she's a fan, don't judge me) and one character gets a gold ring as an engagement ring and the women all get a little disgusted. I had no idea why and my gf had to explain.

Wait, what? Could you explain this to me, too? As my ring is apparently passe? ;_;
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: TwinkyToes on 22 Dec 2007, 14:29
Ideally I'd like a wedding ring that also is a Captain Planet ring

but not Heart.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 22 Dec 2007, 14:39
Wait, what? Could you explain this to me, too? As my ring is apparently passe? ;_;
Well there's not a whole lot to explain beyond what I said. Yellow gold is an old fashioned look for engagement rings, and the fashion these days is white gold or platinum. I mean obviously this doesn't change the individual tastes of any given person, but overall the fashion these days has changed.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: tommydski on 22 Dec 2007, 14:45
I think this might be one of those things whereby the actual gesture and what the token symbolises is the important part.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 22 Dec 2007, 14:50
If you refer back to my first post, this is a similar situation:
To people who are saying "if she loves you she won't care how big the diamond is," what you have to realize is that she'll say yes regardless, but she might feel disappointment, and if YOU love her then you will want to make her happy.
Basically, this applies to anything where you are thinking the ring itself isn't too important and it doesn't matter if it's the ring she wants. Ultimately, sure she'll appreciate the gesture and then you two are hitched. However, she'll feel a certain disappointment with the ring, and really you want it to be something she is proud to wear at all times.

It's kind of like how only a really shallow person would leave you because you got her a bad birthday gift, but neither will she be happy about it, only in this case the stakes are higher.

ADDITION: Here, if that example still doesn't make sense to you, try turning it around. Would you be disappointed in her if she showed up late and wearing slovenly clothes to your graduation? Why is that? The reasoning is similar.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: tommydski on 22 Dec 2007, 15:31
I think I just realised that this is just another reason why I simply don't understand marriage, so you should definitely listen to Joe on this one.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 22 Dec 2007, 15:56
Not necessarily. What I'm saying applies to most women/relationships generally, but may or may not be true for his specific case. However, even if she says she doesn't care about an engagement ring, if you aren't absolutely 100% certain that she doesn't want you to blow money on an engagement ring, then better play it safe.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 22 Dec 2007, 17:41
Diamonds.

Suck.

Period.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jodizzle on 22 Dec 2007, 18:07
Diamonds are spakly, and I liek shiney things.  So diamonds are win.

I don't like gold though, I just...dont.  I prefer silver, or white gold!  Also I want a shiney ring when I get engaged, because it's the kind of thing a girl should get to feel all special!  you know, something to mark the occasion.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: bainidhe_dub on 23 Dec 2007, 21:40
re joe's pronouncement about yellow gold: feel her out on what she likes. just because something is pretty doesn't mean it would fit her style or that she'd feel comfortable wearing it. i've been looking at rings lately and there is some stuff out there that i find godawful ugly, specific things that my boy would probably never guess. and things that are pretty but that i would still never want to wear.

on engagement rings as an idea, i am in favor because they are an official, recognized symbol of your commitment to one another. giving her a ring will make that step from being basically engaged to something that people will take seriously, which personally is important, especially when "people" includes your families. i don't think that just because they are a symbol means that people should reject them for being too traditional or for giving in to people's expectations. i mean, people can live together as if they're married but when they actually do get married it changes how they are viewed, even though nothing really needs to change in how they live their day-to-day lives.. i think the same holds true for getting engaged.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ecco on 23 Dec 2007, 21:51
I'd just like to reiterate what previous posters have said. The engagement ring isn't for you, and it's not about how you feel about the ring. It's about how she feels about the ring. If you're already pretty much engaged, it really wouldn't hurt to ask her what she wants. I know that when I get married, I'm going to get the biggest ring I can afford. I want to show whoever it is that I'm marrying how much she means to me. It might be shallow as hell, and the ring might just be a thing, but it represents the bond between us, and I think that's pretty damn important.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 23 Dec 2007, 23:38
Woooooooooooooooo...

Show how much you care with a worthless rock whose monetary value has been determined by the exact people who are telling you that your relationship's value is determined by the size of said rock.

I think, by reduction, that means your relationship is worthless.

What I am saying is Katie and Johnny are the only people in this thread who make sense.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: I is Grammar on 24 Dec 2007, 00:00
If I end up getting engaged, I'd like the ring that he (or possibly she) gives me to have sentimental value.  Whether that translates to monetary value or not is not my problem. 
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Mnementh on 24 Dec 2007, 07:02
Listen to Joe, he knows what he is saying.

She'll learn to love whatever you give her, but she'll be disappointed if it isn't what she wants.  The ring isn't for you.  I might suggest asking her family if she's said what she wants.  Otherwise, just pay attention, she's probably dropped a myriad of hints.

I suspect a lot of the opinions opposing rings will change when you actually want to and are ready to get married.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 24 Dec 2007, 10:35
Rings are okay.

Diamonds are forever retarded.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jeph on 24 Dec 2007, 11:11
I got Cristi a nice, understated pearl set in white gold with a yellow gold band.

I guess this also counts as my Official Forum Announcement.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: ummmkay on 24 Dec 2007, 11:13
Congratulations to you both! :)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Storm Rider on 24 Dec 2007, 11:15
Oh snap!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Dec 2007, 11:29
Dude, didn't you read the rest of the thread? Yellow gold is sooooo out of style, she hates you. </sarcasm>








Congratulations on that, though.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: camelpimp on 24 Dec 2007, 11:46
Gold is so impractical. What would she do if she got into a bar fight?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: tommydski on 24 Dec 2007, 11:58
Congrats, Jeph and Cristi.

We're all invited to the wedding right?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jeph on 24 Dec 2007, 12:04
Weddings suck. Screw weddings, we're throwing a party instead.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Liz on 24 Dec 2007, 13:55
We're all invited to the party right?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Johnny C on 24 Dec 2007, 20:48
!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 25 Dec 2007, 09:20
if you decide to go with a diamond (which you should. matt and joe are so right about this one), unless you know for sure, go with a 'safe' shape. round/princess cut would be your best bet unless you know her tastes lie elsewhere. personally, i would cringe at the sight of a heart shaped diamond. i think that a marquis cut would just snag on everything. and let's not forget the sex and the city ring disaster... pear shaped diamond in a yellow gold setting... ew.

also, a lot of people will tell you to look at the jewelry she wears now to gauge what kind of ring she would like. this is not always a good idea though... i wear very minimal jewelry, no rings at all, plain white gold small hoop earrings, and at most a bracelet of jade beads. but that doesn't mean i'm not still hoping for this someday...
[img width= height=]http://allwomenstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/articles/88.jpg[/img]
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 25 Dec 2007, 09:36
That looks a lot like the ring I got my fiancee (only bigger doh). Those side things have a goofy name, like baguettes or barettes or something.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 25 Dec 2007, 09:41
you have good taste in rings, then! they are baguettes, good job.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 25 Dec 2007, 09:42
My husband and I got two identical bands for engagement rings.

They were cheap and made of titanium - "our rings will last as long as our love; d'awww!"

We had a "long" engagement, though. Over two years. I wouldn't bother if it's short. We bought prettier bands (not identical) for the wedding.

I could never have a ring with a "rock" on it. I'm too clumsy. I'd catch it on everything. Also, don't ever buy diamonds. Not because of the blood diamond thing, though that is bad, but because De Beers has a bit of a... monopoly on the diamond market. If you mention that to a salesperson, they'll say it's good because that means it's quality controlled.

Bullshit. Diamonds aren't rare. Yes. They are pretty. And if your girl moans about them, get her one. But their price is HIGHLY inflated. Rubies and sapphires are nice hard stones, and long wearing. And they are beautiful. Sapphires come in tons of colors. They are both rarer than diamonds. So are emeralds, but you don't want an emerald on a daily ring. Too soft. It'll scratch right up.

From what I understand, you can get a "fake" diamond (though it is chemically identical) for a portion of the price. There is no physical way to tell the difference. Plus, they can give you all the rare colors. I'd say look into that if you've got a diamond girl on your hands.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lines on 25 Dec 2007, 18:58
If I wanted a big rock, I'd want a sapphire, because, well, ^ what she said.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Uber Ritter on 25 Dec 2007, 23:06
I feel like my aesthetic opinions (ie: platinum is for catalytic converters and white gold is for rappers) are way too strong to make my advice worthwhile.  But then you're not looking for advice, so I'd like to insert a thank you to my parents for giving me the rocks from my great-grandmother's ring for whenever I decide to get married.  Because De Beers sucks and all.  Also, I'm as suspicious of generalizations about what women want out of an engagement ring as I am about most other gender generalizations (not that they don't get at something, just that there are too many exceptions to make them useful given that you actually know the person).
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: redglasscurls on 26 Dec 2007, 12:45
Just going to throw it out there, diamonds are kind of nice for an engagement ring in that they are colorless. She's going to be wearing this thing every day, it's kind of nice to know that it won't ever clash.
Maybe that's just something I care about? Really though, no way in hell I'd get a blue/green/pink/what-have-you stone if I intended to wear it with any regularity.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 26 Dec 2007, 15:16
i agree... colored stones are pretty, but not an everyday kind of thing.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 26 Dec 2007, 23:49
Moissanite and synthetic diamonds are colorless and don't involve massive diamond cartels who control brutal near-slavery practices and your entire opinion of diamonds!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 27 Dec 2007, 02:43
Oh, whatever you do, don't get pearl in a ring that will be worn often.

Why? Because vinegar dissolves pearls. That's the last thing a lady needs.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 27 Dec 2007, 06:24
I got Cristi a nice, understated pearl set in white gold with a yellow gold band.


Oh, whatever you do, don't get pearl in a ring that will be worn often.

Why? Because vinegar dissolves pearls. That's the last thing a lady needs.

oh snap
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 27 Dec 2007, 10:25
Oh.

Hey, Jeph, tell Cristi not to get her pearls near vinegar.

Though... he got her a band and a pearl set. Isn't a set usually earrings and a necklace?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lunchbox on 27 Dec 2007, 14:19
I think he means that the pearl was set in white gold.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lines on 27 Dec 2007, 14:43
As long as she isn't cooking or whatever deals with vinegar, like cleaning or something, she'll be fine. My mom has a pearl ring she wears on a daily basis and it's held up really well, because she takes it off when she cooks/bakes and washes her hands.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: mberan42 on 27 Dec 2007, 15:22
Bullshit. Diamonds aren't rare. Yes. They are pretty. And if your girl moans about them, get her one. But their price is HIGHLY inflated. Rubies and sapphires are nice hard stones, and long wearing. And they are beautiful. Sapphires come in tons of colors. They are both rarer than diamonds. So are emeralds, but you don't want an emerald on a daily ring. Too soft. It'll scratch right up.

While it's just a mindless read, read Shock Wave (http://www.amazon.com/Shock-Wave-Clive-Cussler/dp/0671855646/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198797682&sr=8-4) by Clive Cussler for a decent overview of the whole Diamond vs other precious stones story.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: kizzie on 27 Dec 2007, 17:22
I've probably surpassed the forum accepted posts-per-day count, however in the "Official Haul" thread I showed off my engagement ring.  I received my ring as a Christmas gift, though my fiance and I have been engaged for two years now.

On the note of what kind of rings to go for, I have seen the full spectrum from tasteless to dazzling.  My parents wear pewter rings with celtic knotwork, though for special occasions I have seen my mother break out the old traditional diamond solitaire my father proposed with. 

My first marriage (boy howdy what a failure) found me wearing white gold band with no stone, as did my husband.

Rather than attempt to describe the beauty of my ring, here's the picture I posted of it, after which I'll cease my prattling:

(http://www.kay.com/images/products/1612/161215708_MV_LG.jpg)

Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 27 Dec 2007, 17:41
I've probably surpassed the forum accepted posts-per-day count
The total number of posts for your account is 4. There are people who've racked up like 30 on their first day.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: kizzie on 27 Dec 2007, 17:59
The total number of posts for your account is 4. There are people who've racked up like 30 on their first day.

 :angel: I figured that much, my comment was meant in jest.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 27 Dec 2007, 21:16
That... is a very pretty, tasteful ring.

I like it.

Probably because it's shiny. I like looking at my ring and seeing my eye in it.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 27 Dec 2007, 21:39
I'm really a fan of the simplicity of the band, it makes the fact that it has a diamond, while not huge, that much more eye catching. *cough*You're man's cheap*cough*

But really I like it a lot, given my take on the whole idea of engagement rings to begin with, but wha-do-I know? I'm nineteen.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Felix_ on 28 Dec 2007, 02:06
if you decide to go with a diamond (which you should. matt and joe are so right about this one), unless you know for sure, go with a 'safe' shape. round/princess cut would be your best bet unless you know her tastes lie elsewhere. personally, i would cringe at the sight of a heart shaped diamond. i think that a marquis cut would just snag on everything. and let's not forget the sex and the city ring disaster... pear shaped diamond in a yellow gold setting... ew.

also, a lot of people will tell you to look at the jewelry she wears now to gauge what kind of ring she would like. this is not always a good idea though... i wear very minimal jewelry, no rings at all, plain white gold small hoop earrings, and at most a bracelet of jade beads. but that doesn't mean i'm not still hoping for this someday...


That ring looks like every other ring in the world. Why would you ever want to ask a girl to marry you, and then present something that 90% of the female population is already wearing in virtually identical variants on their finger?

Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: McTaggart on 28 Dec 2007, 03:26
Except it's completely different to everyone else's ring because it is her ring which was given to her by you.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 28 Dec 2007, 05:00
That ring looks like every other ring in the world. Why would you ever want to ask a girl to marry you, and then present something that 90% of the female population is already wearing in virtually identical variants on their finger?
You're right, engagement rings are so not indie. In fact, the whole idea of asking a girl to marry you is horribly conformist.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: richardsdm on 28 Dec 2007, 05:16
In an effort to save money by getting a unique engagement ring instead of one with a huge diamond in it, I found this awesome jewelry store that makes awesome unique rings.  I got to meet the artist and she sketched out the ring design from similar ones they had in the store.  It was great to be a part of the process of the ring design.  My wfie loved that her ring is one of a kind.  The diamond is very tiny and flush against the ring.  She decided that she didn't want a wedding band and wears the engagement ring as both.  We also had my band made there.  It is a hammered design that once again there are similar styled rings that they have made, but it is unique to me.

Funny story.  When I was telling the first artist in the store that I knew that my girlfriend soon to be wife would prefer a unique ring over one with a large diamond, he said, "You're a lucky man."  How true in so many ways.

(http://photos.imageevent.com/richardsdm/dianeweddingpics/websize/TalenaandDan030.jpg)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: kizzie on 28 Dec 2007, 05:40
That ring is beautiful, Richard! 

My engagement ring will likely be put away in a special place just like my mother does for hers, as my fiance and I are going to have damascus steel rings made for our wedding bands.  So yes, my engagement ring is inexpensive, but for being my first diamond I can honestly tell you it's value doesn't match the price tag.  I get misty eyed just thinking about it.  *grabs a kleenex and congratulates all on their pretties*
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: redglasscurls on 28 Dec 2007, 09:51
I like the small, flush diamond look as well! Richardsdm, your lady has good taste:)
Here is mine, I love the tension-set floating bit
(http://images.etsy.com/all_images/b/bf4/ae9/il_430xN.11193518.jpg)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: pen on 28 Dec 2007, 09:58
Wow, that's gorgeous!  I'd be so paranoid it would fall out, though. 
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 28 Dec 2007, 10:31
Odds fish, m'dear fellows! Whatever have you all done to be condemned to matrimony?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: öde on 28 Dec 2007, 12:01
Katie, will you marry me?

(http://www.toolspotting.net/images/trimmingshears_blackanddecker.jpg)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: redglasscurls on 28 Dec 2007, 12:48
Why hasn't the plug on that got the bits you actually stick into the socket? Katie, he is trying to propose with inferior products.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 28 Dec 2007, 12:55

That ring looks like every other ring in the world. Why would you ever want to ask a girl to marry you, and then present something that 90% of the female population is already wearing in virtually identical variants on their finger?



because it's better than proposing with an ugly shaped diamond? i never said that you should get a round diamond solitaire ring, that would be what 90% of the population is already wearing. but that's not necessarily a bad thing either. the ring that my ex-fiance proposed to me with was a marquis cut, split setting yellow gold monstrosity with tiny marquis cut side diamonds. completely cringe-worthy. i would have been a lot happier with a round diamond solitiare, even if it is what everyone else is wearing. it would be special because it would be mine.

p.s. i didn't break up with him because he got me an ugly ring.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 28 Dec 2007, 13:00
p.s. i didn't break up with him because he got me an ugly ring. I broke up with him because he had a tiny penis.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 28 Dec 2007, 15:57
that is entirely beside the point!

at the time i had never seen another penis...
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jhocking on 28 Dec 2007, 17:01
That's what the internet is for.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 29 Dec 2007, 08:29
YOU'RE what the internet is for.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 30 Dec 2007, 00:47
gorgeous ring
That's absolutely beautiful. Splendid choice.

And I love those tension set rings. The only thing that bothers me about them is I don't think they'd be able to be resized, would they? But awesome.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Lines on 30 Dec 2007, 18:44
In an effort to save money by getting a unique engagement ring instead of one with a huge diamond in it, I found this awesome jewelry store that makes awesome unique rings.  I got to meet the artist and she sketched out the ring design from similar ones they had in the store.  It was great to be a part of the process of the ring design.  My wfie loved that her ring is one of a kind.  The diamond is very tiny and flush against the ring.  She decided that she didn't want a wedding band and wears the engagement ring as both.  We also had my band made there.  It is a hammered design that once again there are similar styled rings that they have made, but it is unique to me.

Funny story.  When I was telling the first artist in the store that I knew that my girlfriend soon to be wife would prefer a unique ring over one with a large diamond, he said, "You're a lucky man."  How true in so many ways.

[PRETTY]

I LOVE that ring. That's pretty much what I want eventually. What's the store called?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: bainidhe_dub on 30 Dec 2007, 22:25
i got engaged today, official-like with a ring! manda points out that are going to give our dad a heart attack, because she just told them yesterday. :) this is my ring:
(http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v166/22/26/5700964/n5700964_37087541_1559.jpg)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: öde on 30 Dec 2007, 22:30
Is everyone getting engaged?

(ooh, fancy ring!)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: mberan42 on 30 Dec 2007, 23:24
DAMNIT, bain...
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: heather on 30 Dec 2007, 23:35
Two years ago (when I was still engaged, before the breakup obviously) I had a gorgeous white gold diamond solitaire.

(http://www.heatherd.org/images/theshinything2.jpg)

It's pretty traditional looking, but damn is it gorgeous. I can't wear it anymore obviously, but this just goes to show that you can go traditional but be elegant about it. :)

Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 30 Dec 2007, 23:56
GUYS! BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Jodie and I got engaged too (woo! Australian citizenship!)! I got her a big stone! Hold on, she's taking a picture right now!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jodizzle on 31 Dec 2007, 00:03
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/ebony_willow/ring20pop.jpg)

Isn't it pretty?  And such a glamerous shade of orange!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Liz on 31 Dec 2007, 08:20
Holy hell everyone on this friggin' board is getting engaged!

Also, bain, that is quite possibly the most gorgeous engagement ring that I have ever seen in my life. You are one lucky girl.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: öde on 31 Dec 2007, 09:12
I bet she is jealous of Jodie's ring though.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Johnny C on 31 Dec 2007, 10:01
I've decided that if and when a girl makes the baffling decision to not break up with me for a long enough period that I decide to marry her and trap her forever, I'll probably go with something either like Aurias (http://www.aurias.com/en/index.shtml) or Brilliant Earth (http://www.brilliantearth.com/index.aspx).

With both companies you get the benefit of an actual diamond without the blood on your hands. With the former company you can get the tremendously expensive but what are by all reports consistently excellent Aurias Select diamonds, which are cut to stringent quality standards. With the latter company you can select from a broad variety of conflict-free diamonds and with a little searching you can probably find the exact diamond for your specifications.

Girls who want and have rings, is the size more important or is the quality more important? The fact is, a guy could pay a ridiculous amount for a giant rock that really isn't that good quality, or he could pay an equally ridiculous amount for a smaller but vastly superior gem.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: pen on 31 Dec 2007, 10:19
I know I'd prefer something small-ish anyway, so a better quality gem would work for me.  Small and sparkly! 
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 31 Dec 2007, 10:25
bain, that ring is gorgeous! congratulations!

so many people getting engaged.... i want to get engaged too! someday..
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: richardsdm on 31 Dec 2007, 13:51
Linds - The store is called Creative Metalsmiths - www.creativemetalsmiths.com

It is a very cool store in Chapel Hill, NC.  One of these days when I have money again, I am going to get the same artist to do either a bracelet or necklace to match her ring, but that is far off into the future.

That is a very cool ring Bain.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: ackblom12 on 31 Dec 2007, 16:31
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v619/ackblom12/Ring1.jpg)

That's what I got my woman. White gold with a 1/2 k raised center and a pair of 1/4 k stones to the side. Did it all by my lonesome too! Her wedding band will be plain white gold and mine will either be Titanium(Most likely) or Stainless Steel.

The funny thing is I quite literally sold most of my cattle to pay for the engagement ring.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: jodizzle on 31 Dec 2007, 17:36
I bet she is jealous of Jodie's ring though.

Who wouldn't be!  It is large, shiney and edible!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: bujiatang on 31 Dec 2007, 18:17
It might be a conflict of interest for me to post on this, since selling jewelry is how I pay my rent.

I would first like to point out that it is horribly inconsistent for people to complain about diamonds, and drive cars.  OPEC isn't a cartel either right?  If potential human rights violations offend, buy Canadian diamonds.  But since most of the diamond producing countries are on board with the Kimberley process, consumer preference can either support the system or give the signal that we don't care.  If you really want to know where the stone came from, rather than ponying up for a GIA cert, get a Gubelin gem report, which will tell you more than just the GIA description of how the stone looks.  So you do have options.

Personally I hate selling diamonds. People are assholes when it comes to paying for them.  Most guys are more interested in size than quality, which means we are coerced into selling an inferior product to satisfy the customer. 

I carved Shannon's ring from a sketch she had made of her ideal ring I had from before we were dating.  The center stone is a 1/3 carat Alexandrite.  She was a Russian major, and Alexandrites were originally mined from the Ural mountains.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v638/Bujiatang/IMG_3542.jpg)


Her wedding ring was made by Leddel (http://leddel.com), they use an excellent alloy and her white gold ring has not turned creamy like mine has.  The center stone is a .84 ceylon sapphire, there are two diamonds peaking out from underneath.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v638/Bujiatang/IMG_3544.jpg)

It is important that the ring match the person... Shannon thinks that the stock solitare is the worst ring devised by man.  This was duly noted.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Ozymandias on 01 Jan 2008, 16:58
I would first like to point out that it is horribly inconsistent for people to complain about diamonds, and drive cars.

I don't drive either.

And at least petroleum, even if it's controlled by dicks, has an actual use.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: McTaggart on 01 Jan 2008, 17:55
And you kinda need a car to live (shut up I don't feel like arguing this).
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: öde on 01 Jan 2008, 17:56
I seem to have survived for 17 and a half years without one and anyway, cars don't have to run on fossil fuels.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Caiphana on 01 Jan 2008, 19:43
I would first like to point out that it is horribly inconsistent for people to complain about diamonds, and drive cars.
I don't like diamonds because of the monopoly on the market for something that isn't rare.

Oil's rare. Though there are other places we could get it *points at Alaska and Russia*

And crude doesn't look good, no matter what setting you put it in.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Johnny C on 01 Jan 2008, 20:57
I seem to have survived for 17 and a half years without one and anyway, cars don't have to run on fossil fuels.

Not all of us live in rural Ingerland.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Katherine on 02 Jan 2008, 06:57
I want that alexandrite ring, that is the most gorgeous thing I've seen!  I love alexandrites, color changing gemstones are so much fun!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: SevenPinkerton on 03 Jan 2008, 11:02
I recently got engaged. I've been saying for years I would say no to a guy that got me a ring above 20 dollars because I find jewels, particularly diamonds, pointless and silly and a guy that wants to marry me should probably know that by then. A shiny piece of tinfoil is more interesting than a plain white diamond. I always wanted a guy to get me one in a 25 cent machine.

My man-thing got me a ring, for 13 bucks, sterling silver with a symbol he knew I'd adore. He didn't have it on him when he asked on a hiking trip, so he was going to draw one on me (totally stole my heart) but instead he found my old mood ring in my camp backpack and we used that until we went home the next day.

I always felt diamonds were a left over from back when you had to buy your bride or prove something to her, I don't know. But hey, if you like diamonds, as they are shiny, go for it. (But please, pay attention to where you purchase them from and where in the world they came from. You don't want a diamond coming from human and environmental suffering- bad luck, ya know?)
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 03 Jan 2008, 17:02
Man, everything worth having comes from human suffering. Everything.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: calenlass on 03 Jan 2008, 21:12
Katie, will you marry me?

(http://www.toolspotting.net/images/trimmingshears_blackanddecker.jpg)


Hooray! When and where?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: SevenPinkerton on 05 Jan 2008, 09:17
Man, everything worth having comes from human suffering. Everything.

Especially love!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: öde on 05 Jan 2008, 10:04
Hooray! When and where?

B&Q! Before the apocalypse?
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Edith on 05 Jan 2008, 17:52
Back when I was engaged, we were broke. I didn't get a ring. I did get an expensive sleeping bag for christmas about a month later, and jokingly called it my engagement ring. It was a nice sleeping bag.

I swore up and down that I didn't want a ring, but I really kind of did. An inexpensive ring would have been fine.

My wedding band was beautiful, hand-made, sterling silver, with pretty little ridges that looked like waves. I lost it swimming in a pond two days after we got married. I wore his for many years after that, until we decided to get divorced.

I doubt I'll ever remarry, but I would/do like to be given gifts. Including jewelry.  I don't really like diamonds, though.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Slick on 06 Jan 2008, 00:35
Jodie and I got engaged too (woo! Australian citizenship!)! I got her a big stone! Hold on, she's taking a picture right now!

Wait, really? I am just like reading this thread again and I like it when people I like hook up.
That('d be)/(is) sooo cute!
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Oerdin on 06 Jan 2008, 04:45
It's always been about the gold. If it ain't 24 carat, it damn ain't gold. </chinese>

24 carat gold is so soft the rings tend to break.  I saw it happen once.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Pengraffe on 06 Jan 2008, 17:05
I feel that I should reply to this thread seeing as how Jeph and I are engaged now!!! I personally hate diamonds because they seem cold and lifeless to me. (Also, they look terrible on me and even though I had the option of a Canadian non-blood diamond, they are not for me.) I am not what you would call a "traditional" girl. I have thin fingers on long hands, so anything that sticks up too much looks silly. Thus, I requested a pearl ring and Jeph and I picked out something we both love at an artisan jewelry gallery. This is the result:
(http://www.questionablecontent.net/images/ring2.jpg)

For those of you that know me, it is very "me". Knowing that a pearl requires more care than a diamond just means that I take the ring off if I am cooking or cleaning. I would do that anyway since cleaning rings is a bitch.

Also, I would like to point out that men do not usually get engagement rings, only the lady.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: camelpimp on 06 Jan 2008, 17:09
Wait, then how do you show people that he's your property? Do you have to pee on him or what? How one-sided.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: Pengraffe on 06 Jan 2008, 17:27
Follow him everywhere with a big sign that says "MINE" and an arrow pointing to him.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: tommydski on 06 Jan 2008, 17:34
Or an I'm With Stupid shirt, presumably.

That is a nice ring, Cristi. Congrats.
Title: Re: Engagement rings
Post by: yelley on 06 Jan 2008, 17:36
Wait, then how do you show people that he's your property? Do you have to pee on him or what? How one-sided.

well after the wedding the man wears the wedding band and the woman decides whether she wants to wear the wedding band or the engagement ring or both. up until the wedding... go with the sign.