Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: PacoSees on 11 Jan 2008, 16:13

Title: If you ruled the world
Post by: PacoSees on 11 Jan 2008, 16:13
So, some guy walks up to my cubicle today and says, "Hey, we're playing this game.  You should totally come check it out."

You go around the room and answer the question:
"What would you do if you ruled the world?"

Just out of curiosity... you guys?

People stopped playing when I said I'd feed the fatties to all the starving kids in Africa.  That and put an age limit on people.  Like 75-ish.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: I is Grammar on 11 Jan 2008, 16:16
(http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MG/189675~Wild-in-the-Streets-Posters.jpg)
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: SonofZ3 on 11 Jan 2008, 17:33
things I would do:
1. Ban all theistic religions.
2. Lots of heroin.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Emaline on 11 Jan 2008, 17:55
55 is my usual age cut off.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Lines on 11 Jan 2008, 18:18
If I ruled the world, I'd make all the rich nations feed all the starving nations and give everyone birth control so we can stop over populating the planet. I'd also tell the world to stop it with the global warming, because I kind of like polar bears and stuff. And no more cutting down the rain forests. 

And then I'd kill anyone who pissed me off. It is my world, after all, and some people just shouldn't be here. Or maybe I'd send them to another planet and force them to live elsewhere. Yeah. Maybe that.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Caiphana on 11 Jan 2008, 18:20
When I rule the world, we will wear togas to get rid of the competition of fashion. And males will be kept underground for breeding purposes.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Ozymandias on 11 Jan 2008, 18:21
^ I'm okay with your world.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Liz on 11 Jan 2008, 18:21
So far I vote Linds for world dictator. I like her style.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Lines on 11 Jan 2008, 18:24
Yaaaaay!

But I like Caiphana's idea, too. But then again, I think all of us girls should take over the world.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 11 Jan 2008, 18:26
If I ruled the world, I would make Ferran Adria be my personal chef, I'd get a new car, and my  personal army would dress up like a Roman Legion (post Marius), burn down anheiser-busch headquarters, and salt the earth.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: squawk on 11 Jan 2008, 18:28
I would give everyone little puppy dogs named Mr. Poopytime!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: PacoSees on 11 Jan 2008, 18:29
So far, I don't think there's any conflict of ideas, so the sum of it all comes to:

-Fatties being fed to hungry people.
-Rich countries supporting not-rich countries.
-You die at 55 (like cows).
-Togas for everyone.
-Men living underground for "breeding" purposes (You know we'll be used for "non-breeding" too.  :wink: )
-No more global warming...  Just like that.
-And no more religions.

Neat.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: mooface on 11 Jan 2008, 18:36
if i ruled the world it would be required that everyone have their own unicorn friend.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: PacoSees on 11 Jan 2008, 18:37
I'm going to stop you right there.

That clearly disagrees with... someone...

Anyone?
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Lines on 11 Jan 2008, 18:41
No. Unicorns are an excellent idea. Moo can stay. But it's off to the underground parts with you.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Caiphana on 11 Jan 2008, 18:44
Unicorns. Yes.

Unless these unicorns don't have wings. Then I may have to disagree. The flying kind are fun.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: PacoSees on 11 Jan 2008, 18:49
And it becomes clear that Paco has no bros to back him up.

To the caves I go... I have some non-breeding to do.

See you Monday!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: mooface on 11 Jan 2008, 19:10
all unicorns can fly because they are magical.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: sean on 11 Jan 2008, 19:50
I am incredibly pro-unicorn. Especially when they are magical.

One ticket to moo's world please.

Unless I don't get underground breeding privileges. i
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: 0bsessions on 11 Jan 2008, 20:09
I am rather effeminate and enjoy unicorns. Can I stay above ground for my breeding purposes? I like sunlight.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Chrasstor on 11 Jan 2008, 20:14
if i ruled the world it would be required that everyone have their own unicorn friend.
I've got dibs on Nicholas Thorburn!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: mooface on 11 Jan 2008, 20:17
i think jon should stay above ground because he is cute.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: camelpimp on 11 Jan 2008, 20:19
If I ruled the world everyday would like a porno. A good porno.

I solemnly promise this.

Also, people who were abusive to animals get fed to the lions. Or the poor people. Or poor lions.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: 0bsessions on 11 Jan 2008, 20:31
I can also help protect my new Empresses from any zombie outbreaks.

Help, I say, as I would not presume that you couldn't handle it yourselves...
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: LordNagash on 11 Jan 2008, 21:58
I would kill all humans.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: supersheep on 11 Jan 2008, 22:03
Abolish Mondays.

28 hour days for all mean four hours extra in bed.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ImRonBurgundy? on 11 Jan 2008, 22:06
Resurrect Bob Stinson.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: IronOxide on 11 Jan 2008, 22:29
When I rule the world, we will wear togas to get rid of the competition of fashion. And males will be kept underground for breeding purposes.

I can't tell you how glad I am that not everyone has forgotten about Boy Meets World.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 11 Jan 2008, 22:58
If I would rule the world I'd probably be the cause of a zombie breakout that spread across the world, leaving me and a few other pockets of survivors to take back the world or wait for them to die, and then rebuild society in a post-apocalyptic future.

This is actually what I want to happen, seriously guys, is there something wrong with me?
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Paav on 11 Jan 2008, 23:09
Abolish Neckties
Drinking at work required
High Speed Trains
All people having anything to do with a "Reality" TV show are transported to the moon
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ampersandwitch on 11 Jan 2008, 23:17
No joke, this question was on my application for Bard last year.
I don't really remember what I wrote, but I think now that my answer would include something along the lines of elephants for mass transit in major cities, mostly because I dig elephants.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: doki on 11 Jan 2008, 23:18
spend all the world's money on a death cure

then waste it bringing back people like Freddie Mercury and Kurt Cobain and Lennon


wait, that would be awesome, not a waste at all!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Johnny C on 11 Jan 2008, 23:52
To get an idea of my leadership style, you have to find and watch the film King Ralph.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: tommydski on 12 Jan 2008, 02:00
Resurrect Bob Stinson.

YES.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Tom on 12 Jan 2008, 02:04
Why just stop with Bob Stinson?
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: BobJoeJim on 12 Jan 2008, 07:25
If?  IF?  The word you're looking for is WHEN.

Baseball will be instituted as a global religion, and the season will be extended to 365 days a year.  Sunlight will be abolished because it burns, it BURNS, and I love the rain.  This is not mutually exclusive with part one, as baseball in the rain is awesome.  Snow will also remain legal.  A complex algorithm involving a blindfold and a dartboard will be used to determine who lives and who dies, with JimmyTheSquid in charge of determining the methods of execution.  Also, those pussy polar bears in the Coca Cola ads would finally eat the bloody penguins, because one by one the penguins are stealing my sanity, and frankly I'm getting kind of sick of it.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: camelpimp on 12 Jan 2008, 07:26
Basebal!?!

You lost my vote.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: BobJoeJim on 12 Jan 2008, 07:29
What if the baseball were played by scorpions?  Do I get your vote then?  Wait, I don't need votes, this isn't going to be a democracy, never mind.  The baseball will still be played by scorpions though.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: McTaggart on 12 Jan 2008, 07:48
I would install myself as the grand arbiter of sportsmanship over the whole world. I would have ultimate power over all appeals made by players. I would be able to reward and penalise teams and players based on whether they were playing in the spirit of the game. I would decide what is cricket and what is just not.

Then I'd leave everything up to whoever it's up to now but I'd be able to make public statements about governments and politics and businesses and people would take my opinion into account because I've helped bring goodwill back into sport and that's flowed on to the people who follow sport and on to the people who interact with them.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: camelpimp on 12 Jan 2008, 09:40
What if the baseball were played by scorpions?  Do I get your vote then?  Wait, I don't need votes, this isn't going to be a democracy, never mind.  The baseball will still be played by scorpions though.

Well.... I can't really argue against that.

Also, all sports must be played while drunk. I insist upon this.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 12 Jan 2008, 09:50
When I rule the world, we will wear togas to get rid of the competition of fashion.

Why must you hate things that are awesome?
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: mooface on 12 Jan 2008, 10:39
it's okay, julia.  in my world it would be the ugly and unfashionable that would be hidden underground.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: jhocking on 12 Jan 2008, 11:03
I think I would be a fairly boring ruler. I would probably spend the first couple weeks righting injustices, and that would be good, but after that I'd probably go back to fiddling with my computer all the time and only issuing proclamations in response to my advisers telling me there's some problem I need to deal with.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: BobJoeJim on 12 Jan 2008, 11:35
my advisers
Give me more soldiers, noble leader, that they may sheathe their swords in the beating hearts of our enemies!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: camelpimp on 12 Jan 2008, 12:44
Hm... being an adviser instead of world leader may not be a bad idea, ya know. I get a say in how things are done, but none of the paperwork.

If I was an adviser to any major world leader, s/he would have a sign a notice ahead of time promising to not to hang me from the ceiling by putting my flesh on meat hooks. It's just thing I have against it, you know?
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ImRonBurgundy? on 12 Jan 2008, 13:03
YES.

I just realized, I think we had a thread with a similar premise a while ago, and I think I may have given the same answer.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: SonofZ3 on 12 Jan 2008, 13:38
my advisers
Give me more soldiers, noble leader, that they may sheathe their swords in the beating hearts of our enemies!

By all means, don't leave out the bloodthirsty fanaticism from an imaginary future.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ledhendrix on 12 Jan 2008, 15:01
I would give everyone a number. Half of those numbers are randomly picked out of a hat and the corresponding people are killed. No people over 60. People with diseases left to die, it's called survival of the fittest not let the weak live. Hitler got it all wrong, he was far to racist, i vote for mass unspecific genocide.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Storm Rider on 12 Jan 2008, 15:09
If it's unspecific, it's not genocide, just mass murder.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ledhendrix on 12 Jan 2008, 15:23
Yay for mass murder then.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Tom on 12 Jan 2008, 15:31
You shouldn't forget people with disabilities, glandular disorders massively faulty genetic codes or the obese, they to will be a burden.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ledhendrix on 12 Jan 2008, 15:44
Definitely, the obese could be tied to treadmills and forced to run and generate power for the world until they are no longer obese. The rest could used as bio fuels or turned into fertiliser.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: camelpimp on 12 Jan 2008, 16:12
Man, this thread makes a great case for anarchy.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: GenericName on 12 Jan 2008, 16:38
If I ruled the world. I would make communism work, if only to prove to my friends that it can.

Oh and then I would probably just steal the rest of my laws from this thread.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Chrasstor on 12 Jan 2008, 19:49
THIS WAS A MISPOST. BUT NOW I WILL TELL YOU WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF CHRASSTOR ROOLED THE WOORLD>

If I ruled the world, I would go into bars and get drunk and beat up. Bouncers couldn't card me because I rule the world.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Slick on 12 Jan 2008, 20:32
If I ruled the world, the world would be a moderately sized porpoise instead of a world. Things would be a lot simpler if the world was just a porpoise.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 12 Jan 2008, 21:44
If the world was a porpoise where would it swim? Space? So its a space porpoise now? Jeez, getting a bit complicated.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Hunter on 12 Jan 2008, 22:05
I would make everyone pro skub.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Slick on 12 Jan 2008, 22:08
If the world was a porpoise where would it swim?

It wouldn't.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: PacoSees on 12 Jan 2008, 22:20
Man, this thread makes a great case for anarchy.

I actually don't work in an office building.  Nor have I ever been in a cubicle.

But it was worth it to start this thread.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 12 Jan 2008, 22:21
He lied to us!


















....kill him.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: DonInKansas on 13 Jan 2008, 01:27
If I ruled the world I'd take a dump any damn place I pleased.  Because just once I'd like to be the pigeon and not the car.

Steps of the Capitol building?  The Eiffel Tower?  Donald Trump's hair?  All poop pwned.

Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Storm Rider on 13 Jan 2008, 01:36
Shitting on Donald Trump's head is by far the best answer in this thread so far. Bravo, sir.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ledhendrix on 13 Jan 2008, 05:19
If the world was a porpoise where would it swim?

It wouldn't.


So it would just fall. This doesn't sound like a porpoise to me... It sounds more like falling meat.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 13 Jan 2008, 09:08
Things don't fall in space!  The porpoise would take the earth's place in gravitational relation to the sun. 
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Gemmwah on 13 Jan 2008, 09:09
It'd have to be a bloody huge porpoise.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: ledhendrix on 13 Jan 2008, 09:22
Technically it would be falling towards the sun endlessly which is what the earth is doing just now. It just gets called orbiting.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: jhocking on 13 Jan 2008, 09:32
It'd have to be a bloody huge porpoise.
Also very fast moving.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: Lines on 13 Jan 2008, 11:21
If the world was a porpoise where would it swim?

It wouldn't.

That's kind of sad. It'd have all this space, but would be stuck in orbit.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: öde on 13 Jan 2008, 11:25
I want to hug a porpoise now.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: jhocking on 13 Jan 2008, 11:34
No no, see this metaphor should make you want to hug the earth.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: öde on 13 Jan 2008, 11:56
Porpoises are cuter.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: jhocking on 13 Jan 2008, 12:14
If it misinterpreted your hug, the porpoise could get frisky and then bite you.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: cupcakeonastick on 13 Jan 2008, 19:07
I've always been fond of the idea that Wednesday be Pope Hat and Pipe day.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: jeph on 13 Jan 2008, 19:09
I'd kill everyone.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: IronOxide on 13 Jan 2008, 19:17
my advisers
Give me more soldiers, noble leader, that they may sheathe their swords in the beating hearts of our enemies!

A+ BobJoeJim. You deserve a cracker.

EDIT: Jesus tits, there's another page here? Fancy that!
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 13 Jan 2008, 19:26
Starting at age 18, everyone takes mushrooms once a year, all at the same time of year.
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: captain zoe on 13 Jan 2008, 19:48
Wow.  That would be wild. 
Title: Re: If you ruled the world
Post by: mummbly_joe on 13 Jan 2008, 20:15
If I ruled the world there would be no such thing as hockey. If the sport was even so much as mentioned, an angry horde of people would show up at your house and burn it down all the way to the ground. All former hockey players would be stored in under ground caves STRICTLY for breeding purposes (no non breeeding purposes allowed). Everyone that cooperates get togas, everyone else, mumu's. No exceptions.