Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: SevenPinkerton on 22 Jan 2008, 14:19

Title: Mutant battles
Post by: SevenPinkerton on 22 Jan 2008, 14:19
So, if the mutants from I am Legend were to fight the Ragers from 28 days later, who would win?

Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 22 Jan 2008, 14:21
Whoever wins, this thread loses.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Liz on 22 Jan 2008, 14:22
You know, we have a Movies section for a reason.

Not that this would go over any better there.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: tommydski on 22 Jan 2008, 14:46
This thread just needs an minor change of topic.

If you could have one single Mutant power, what would it be? Why would you choose this power? What would you do with it? Please elaborate on your answer to avoid a list thread scenario!
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Johnny C on 22 Jan 2008, 14:50
Whoever wins, this thread loses.

Great idea, great execution. Flawless victory.

My mutant power would be the ability to alter my metabolism. I would use this to eat vast quantities of steak.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: jhocking on 22 Jan 2008, 14:52
Haven't we had this conversation before? I know I've posted before that I would want to be able to read people's minds, and I explained why.

Although, having just watched the season 1 DVD set for Heroes, I would totally be down with being able to bend time and space like Hiro. Imagine being able to just squint and then you can spend as long as you want getting ready in the morning!
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 22 Jan 2008, 14:59
i want the ability to alter the way gravity affects my body. so i could jump super high if i wanted to, or just float. maybe walk on ceilings and walls when indoors. it would never get old.

oh the possibilities.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Blue Kitty on 22 Jan 2008, 15:02
I believe I made a thread asking what powers people would like to have, though it was way back when I first joined

EDIT: Since we are going through with this thread, I would say I would love to fly, but be invulnerable while I do so.  Like, say, Sam Guthrie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannonball_%28comics%29)
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 22 Jan 2008, 15:10
I would like to be able to fly with no silly things like planes or hanggliders or wings! I guess if it's a mutation I'd have to be lighter and have huge wings with huge muscles though.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: tommydski on 22 Jan 2008, 15:11
Well, this thread has landed in our lap so we are going to make the best of it. Our every move is the new tradition!

Right now because of my 80 mile commute to get to work every day, I am paying an exuberant amount of money for petrol. I would therefore like the mutant ability to fire an endless jet of petrol from my mouth at whim. Not only could I use this ability to avoid having to buy petrol, there would also no longer be any reason to go to work because I work for an oil exploration company and my mere existence would render such a company quite useless. I would then hold the entire world to ransom and demand a blow job from every female from the age of 18-35 in the Paris telephone directory in alphabetical order.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 22 Jan 2008, 15:25
The strange thing is I love flying yet I am afraid of heights.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: ledhendrix on 22 Jan 2008, 15:27
I would like my body to mutate so that i would have webbed fingers and toes and gills and maybe super insulated skin so that i would be able to go underwater huge periods at a time. I would essentially be a seal but i can live with that. Flying would also be cool, i think almost everybody would love to fly though, the skies would get pretty crowded.

On the subject of mutants. Has anyone else noticed the similarity between the movie 28 days later and the book The day of the triffids. Aside from the different "mutants" i found them to be very similar indeed.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 22 Jan 2008, 15:31
The ability to be really healthy. It'd be great. I wouldn't eat large quantities of red meat, I'd get enough sleep and sun and drink enough water to have a healthy complexion, sleep properly and have a healthy weight and good muscle tone from exercise.
Shame that it's only a dream.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: calenlass on 22 Jan 2008, 15:32
Man I would love to fly. Specifically, I would love to have wings (and.. hollow bones, I guess?). Wings with feathers, although scaly dragonwings would be pretty excellent, too.


Hey Dan, you wanna go flying together?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Lunchbox on 22 Jan 2008, 15:35
I was going to go with my general mutant response about teleporting! I could cut in lines, go to every QC meet, wait tables so much more efficiently, enter high security vaults, leave high-security prisons... but then I realised that I really, really like driving and giving that up would be kind of crummy.

I'll have to think about this one.

However, Tommy, I do have a suggestion for yours! Instead of having the petrol come out of your mouth, it should come out of your butt. It would be much less messy, and instead of spending hours of your day vomiting and not being able to get anything else done, you could just sit on a toilet-style receptacle and do a crossword or get those blowjobs. You'd have to have some sort of seal around the bowl though so the Parisian ladies would not pass out from fumes.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Liz on 22 Jan 2008, 15:37
Hey, just because you can teleport doesn't mean you can't drive on occasion.

I would also love to be able to teleport, but time travel would be pretty darn sweet as well. You could totally work the stock market with it and become rich as all hell.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Something Witty on 22 Jan 2008, 15:42
I want to be able to double-super jump without breaking my legs.

Everyone picks flgiht, but flight is lame. I just want to be able to jump really high, then at the peak of my jump, jump again, except it launches me forward really fast.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: 0bsessions on 22 Jan 2008, 15:46
Telekinesis. As we all know, I'm a very showy and attention demanding sort of person and there ain't much showier than telekinesis.

Close runner up would be pyrokinesis, because I love fire.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 22 Jan 2008, 15:52
Hey Dan, you wanna go flying together?

A question with a more obvious answer has not been asked (the answer is 'yes, duh')!

I guess we can sort this out at Glasgaecon. What would you prefer, exposure to radiation or being bitten by a radioactive bird/dragon?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: calenlass on 22 Jan 2008, 16:13
Being bitten, I think. Then I can have a really cool fuck-off scar.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Cam on 22 Jan 2008, 16:51
Wicked mop battle skills... because fuck yeah.

(http://www.toxicshock.tv/interviews/lloyd_kaufman/toxic_avenger_movie_poster.jpg)

Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 22 Jan 2008, 16:58
i love that movie so much.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: michaelicious on 22 Jan 2008, 17:46
I would like to have a photographic memory, but kicked up a notch. I would like to be able to take mental photographs whenever I wanted just by winking. Because winking is awesome.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Liz on 22 Jan 2008, 17:52
So winking at an attractive person would serve double duty.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Slick on 22 Jan 2008, 18:13
I would like the power to make people smile and dance. Just, like, to make them stop worrying about missing their bus and what they've got to do at work and how they're going to pay their bills for a little while, and instead, just start waltzing with the smiling person next to them in the bus shelter. You know, with the north wind pounding the clear-glass outside with a wall of snow, and the busses being backed up for hours, and no one going anywhere any time soon, I'd want people to be circling around and casting eyes at each other while waving their arms about and oscillating their torsos or something. How cool would that be, to just have the world dance instead of sitting by themselves on packed noisy busses going nowhere?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Cartilage Head on 22 Jan 2008, 18:26
I would like to move planets and shit. I would be an extremely powerful guy.

Also that dude from X-Men that does the needle thing with his skin has the lamest power ever.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Ozymandias on 22 Jan 2008, 18:29
For anyone who has ever read Foundation and Empire or Second Foundation:

The Mule's power.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Something Witty on 22 Jan 2008, 19:13
I want to be able to double-super jump without breaking my legs.

Everyone picks flgiht, but flight is lame. I just want to be able to jump really high, then at the peak of my jump, jump again, except it launches me forward really fast.
That's like a super gimped version of flight. The only rush would be from the takeoff and initial speed, and you'd have no control over where you'd land.

Except I do have control over where I land because it's fucking double jump. Have you never played videogames?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Lunchbox on 22 Jan 2008, 20:29
Slick's power is the best so far.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: MusicScribbles on 22 Jan 2008, 20:34
Haven't we had this conversation before? I know I've posted before that I would want to be able to read people's minds, and I explained why.

Although, having just watched the season 1 DVD set for Heroes, I would totally be down with being able to bend time and space like Hiro. Imagine being able to just squint and then you can spend as long as you want getting ready in the morning!

I'm with you here. Would people mind if I froze time when my alarm went off, then promptly went back to sleep in frozen time? Would this hurt people? I would like a sword as well.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Blue Kitty on 22 Jan 2008, 20:37
Right now because of my 80 mile commute to get to work every day, I am paying an exuberant amount of money for petrol. I would therefore like the mutant ability to fire an endless jet of petrol from my mouth at whim. Not only could I use this ability to avoid having to buy petrol, there would also no longer be any reason to go to work because I work for an oil exploration company and my mere existence would render such a company quite useless. I would then hold the entire world to ransom and demand a blow job from every female from the age of 18-35 in the Paris telephone directory in alphabetical order.

OR, they could just shoot you in the head and go on with business as usual.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: supersheep on 22 Jan 2008, 20:47
But then who would keep pumping that sweet sweet crude?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Narr on 22 Jan 2008, 20:50
I would like to be a wizard in the D&D sense of the word.  Fuck superpowers when you can wield the arcane.

Oh god I am such a nerd.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: jhocking on 22 Jan 2008, 21:07
I would also love to be able to teleport, but time travel would be pretty darn sweet as well. You could totally work the stock market with it and become rich as all hell.
See, the nice thing about my "bending time and space like Hiro from Heroes" is that you can teleport to different places and different times.

I'm torn about this one really. I've frequently wished I could read someone's mind and I've never thought "boy if only I could teleport," but the time/space thing is useful in a wider range of situations.

OR, they could just shoot you in the head and go on with business as usual.
This is a very good point. It would be all of 2 hours after announcing your power that OPEC would send an assassin in order to protect their business.

Still, good thinking on that ransom.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Cam on 22 Jan 2008, 23:20
You could sign an exclusive contract with one of the big oil companies to provide gas for super cheap and they sale it at the same price.  Making the rich richer might actually help protect you.  Then, you would just have a rival company trying to knock you off.


If I was a to pick a serious power, it would simply be to control all functions of life and death in who ever I choose.  I would not want to become a Grim Reaper type character.  I would just like to be able to control every thing.  Crank up that metabolism, add muscles, grant immortality, or make some one drop dead on a whim.  I could take 50 years off a rich guy for 50 million dollars and my friends/family and I could live as long as we wanted.  When we were ready, we could still die, unlike some versions of being immortal.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 23 Jan 2008, 03:16
I want the air I exhale from my lungs to be an insanely powerful aphrodisiac. And my tears to cure cancer. Maybe a mutant gene that prevents male pattern baldness too.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: LordNagash on 23 Jan 2008, 04:22
I would want to know all knowledge that exists (omniscience), yet be blind, def, and mute; Forever sealing my infinite knowledge from the world. Tragic. :)
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 23 Jan 2008, 04:32
You're crazy, is what you are.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 23 Jan 2008, 05:02
I'd love to be an incredible mechanical genius. The type of guy who someone comes to with a problem, and a half hour in a junkyard I come up with a solution.
"Mike! My son has CANCER! BAWWW!"
>rummage rummage bang pop boink fizz<
"Try this anti-cancer ray."
"Wow! However can I thank you?"
>Bow chica wow wow<
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 23 Jan 2008, 05:29
I want the mutant power of 'good luck'! Like Longshot!
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 23 Jan 2008, 06:23
>rummage rummage bang pop boink fizz<
"Try this luck ray."
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Tyler on 23 Jan 2008, 06:36
I want the power of perfect dramatic timing.


Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 23 Jan 2008, 06:44
I want the mutant power to change people's old avatars because their long overdue retirement doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 23 Jan 2008, 07:11
I guess I would like full control over my body at a cellular level as well as control over objects within a given radius. This would open doors such as shape shifting but also telekinesis and the ability to heal people and stuff. It would be pretty cool. I would be an awesome vaguely anti-heroic character who people would tell stories about and eventually have episodes of my life broadcast weekly in 42 minute increments, myself being played by some heroic actor of the age. It would be awesome.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Paav on 23 Jan 2008, 07:56
To be able to read minds and play with people's thoughts, both locallly and globally. You could insert yourself into or later remove yourself from any memory for whatever reason you needed. Hi, I invented the internet, and it would be true because everyone would remember it that way. Easy to seduce, easy to befriend, easy to convince people to do whatever you needed them to do. Then once you didn't need someone or grew tired of them or had to cover your tracks you wipe the memories and get to start over somewhere else.

It would also work as a fun way to mess with the whole world. 3 pm on Thursday is always when we dance around like crazed wombats. Plus you could defuse tension and help people and things, but mainly it would be fun to mess with them.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Verergoca on 23 Jan 2008, 10:07
Hmmm, i think i would be pretty happy with beeing able to drink but not get hangovers. Non-ruined days after = gewd!
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Elizzybeth on 23 Jan 2008, 18:59
I've frequently wished I could read someone's mind and I've never thought "boy if only I could teleport," [...]

Really?  You've honestly never been sitting in traffic, late for an appointment, and thought, "God, this would all be so much easier if I could've just teleported from home"?  Or been on one of those interminable transoceanic flights, thinking, "If I never had to get in an airplane again, my life would be at least a small percentage better"?  Or, for that matter, been filling up your car at a gas station, thinking, "If I could teleport, I wouldn't be selling my working days for the privilege of having a car to get to work"?  You've never missed a bus?

I wish I could teleport at least once a week, sometimes more often.  Maybe people who live in cities with real public transportation systems feel differently, but transportation Los Angeles is a royal pain in the ass.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Jan 2008, 00:09
Really, I'd just like to blow shit up. Seriously, give me power blasting fists and flight, don't need that teleporting, because if I had those I would not work. All there is to it, I could take the extra time to fly at jet speeds than it would to teleport.

Also, no need to read thoughts, I'd just shoot more people with my fists anyway if I did.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spinless on 24 Jan 2008, 00:19
Teleporting into a bank vault to take 20 for dinner? Yes, please.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: axerton on 24 Jan 2008, 04:39
The one power I've always sought of thought, man that would be useful right now, is not technical telleporting, but the ability to transform into a ray of light. Thus I would have a limited teleport and an odd form of invisibility. 
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: blanktom on 24 Jan 2008, 05:22
the biggest problem with bending space and time is accumalting age. if you were married, all the age you accumulate when time is stopped would leave you like years older than all your loved ones. other than that, this would totally be my super power.

if not, just standard teleportation would be awesome, an obsession only spurred on by the trailers for the new 'Jumper' film. total freedom! plus if you had this power you wouldnt really need to stop time all that much because you'd never be in a hurry anyway.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: ledhendrix on 24 Jan 2008, 09:48
The faster you go though the less you age. The problem would be that you would age a lot slower and everyone around you would die.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: RobbieOC on 24 Jan 2008, 10:29
I've always thought super speed would be cool. Or theme music.

Or, I suppose, both. Is that allowed?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Slick on 24 Jan 2008, 10:39
Led Hen, that is assuming that a) you are travelling such that relativity applies and b) relativity ever applies.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: ledhendrix on 24 Jan 2008, 11:01
I was assuming teleporting would involve traveling at the speed of light. But now i see what he posted i realise that my post had no relevance to his whatsoever... :(
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Lila on 24 Jan 2008, 14:18
Has anyone seen that movie "sky high"?
It was a pretty awful movie, but I want the power Warren Peace has. He can shoot fire from his wrists (like spiderman, only fire instead of webby stuff), and if he's angry his whole arms light on fire.
Because 1) fire is awesome 2) most people/supervillians don't go around with a fire extinguisher on them 3) fire gets through almost everything; bank vault? just fry the gaurds and blast the door with fire until it melts. no need for teleportation 4) before you fry someone, you can say "Burn in the pits of hell, demonspawn!!! >evil laugh<"
Would that not be fun? It would.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: 0bsessions on 24 Jan 2008, 15:08
You have any idea how long it would take to melt through a fucking bank vault?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: tommydski on 24 Jan 2008, 15:22
It would have to be incredibly, incredibly hot.

I am not sure you would even be able to wear clothes if you were so close to anything that hot.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: 0bsessions on 24 Jan 2008, 15:24
Wait, are we talking about the fire or me at this point?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: tommydski on 24 Jan 2008, 15:50
Jon, are you ever....honest with yourself?

I mean, about everything.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 24 Jan 2008, 15:53
Have you ever heard of Sue Toun, Tommy?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Something Witty on 24 Jan 2008, 16:29
Inorder to melt the doors off of a bank vault you would have to liquify hardened steel, which happens at ~2000C. Hot enough that everything in the vault would burst into flames.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 24 Jan 2008, 16:31
Especially you.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Chrasstor on 24 Jan 2008, 21:15
If I was a mutant, my power would be to be able to dilute all of your mutant powers. Whenever I'm around, you get all superman  proche de kryptonite. I'd then be free of any challenge, and ultimately just beat you around making righteous karate chop action noises. I would never kill you though, and most of the time you'll find a way to overpower me anyway...

 With this power I get a free maniacal laugh.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: 0bsessions on 24 Jan 2008, 22:21
So you'd essentially be a less attractive version of Leech (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leech_%28comics%29)?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 24 Jan 2008, 23:00
seriously, they fixed his ass up for X3.

Edit: God damnit, because of you I just spent the past 20 minutes reading on wikipedia about Howard the Duck, whom Leech met in one of his adventures.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 25 Jan 2008, 04:39
Oh... Oh, God... Boro, I'm so sorry. Im sure if you drink enough you'll forget reading all of that.

Please don't suicide over that.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: mooface on 25 Jan 2008, 06:02
i would want the power of teleportation because then i would never have to fly on another fucking plane ever again.  i could take a vacation whenever i wanted without having to worry about costs or flight times.  i would never have to drive a car or deal with traffic.  i could own a house somewhere where it was really cheap to live, and then teleport to work/school in a city that was really nice but expensive to live in.  also, i would definitely steal things.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Tyler on 25 Jan 2008, 06:17
Also, i would definitely steal things.


If I had some pretty kickass super power I am 100% certain I would exploit it for personal gains.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: 0bsessions on 25 Jan 2008, 06:29
I happen to have read that comic where Howard the Duck and Leech hung out. I believe Franklin Richards and Artie Maddicks were there too. It really wasn't all that bad.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Peet on 25 Jan 2008, 11:01
I for one wish I had no bones.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Spluff on 25 Jan 2008, 20:07
Generally that would classify as a disorder, not a superpower.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: ledhendrix on 26 Jan 2008, 03:57
Slugs don't have any bones, you trying to say slugs have a disorder? eh eh eh?
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 28 Jan 2008, 06:03
Evolution Deficiency Syndrome. It's prevalent in slugs, jellyfish, and backwoods Kentucky hillbillies.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: öde on 28 Jan 2008, 09:37
It's not a deficiency, Squid and Octopussies will kick our asses in the long run.
Title: Re: Mutant battles
Post by: ledhendrix on 28 Jan 2008, 09:56
If colossus squid ever figure o [ut how to walk we are well and truly screwed. They have fricken hooks in there suckers.