THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: Apple Pie on 28 Mar 2008, 17:32
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I post because the other day I had to resist the urge to yell out "LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT MY ARSE AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY". Not because I particularly think my arse is pretty, just because that particular QC quote made me giggle. (But none of my friends would have understood, so I didn't bother...heh.)
Anyway.
Your favourite QC quotes?
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"NIETZSCHE IS DEAD!"
BECAUSE ITS TRUE.
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Pintsize: It's just tomato sauce, and I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave.
True dat!
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There are many many I love, but I'll settle for when Marten and Steve encountered the VespAvenger:
"She's coming around for another pass! Do we Fight, use and Item or Run?" (I love it when people think like in a video game)
And Faye's "There are no save points when it comes to ladies, honey."
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"I've fucked corpses warmer than you!"
Instant favorite. It's especially fun to use on friends in public.
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Pintsize: "My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet, and a Kuiper Belt object. It takes four hours and you can't skip any of the cutscenes"
It's that or Steve's use of the phrase "one man good-time revue"
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"I'll take the Plastic motherf*cker, I have skills with the plastic motherf*cker. SKILLS."
Pure awesome drunk rambling.
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Tee hee: just read this one.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just...tripped over my gigantic wang. Happens all the time. Damn thing's like a milicious ball python."
"But...your pants are zipped up."
"I know. It coils around my ankle if I don't pay attention. Very malicious."
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Toss up between:
"I need to learn some new profanity, 'cause the old standards aren't cutting in this situation" -- Marten Reed
"I'll murder you so hard you'll die from it." -- Raven Pritchard
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. -- Dora Bianchi
Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future -- Marten Reed
Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot NOW. -- Faye Whitaker
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Dora: We should give [Argument Guy] some kind of member-discount card.
Faye: Hah! "Ten drinks and your next one is go fuck yourself!"
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Pintsize: "I am the kind of breasts! Rrrawr!!" just because it was so damn random.
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EURGH!
love it when Pintsize says he's going to rub his pube-beard on everyone, but can't remember the direct Quote nor can be arsed to look it up...
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Faye - "Go...Eat..A..COOKIE"
Faye - "That was like the test of the Mom Jabbar"
Marten - "See that girl over there? She's the DEVIL"
Dora - "Why? Cause she ordered a Latte?"
Lots more I can't think of right now.
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"I am the underwear ninja!"
My most favourite strip ever.
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Dora - There were a couple, but I murdered them.
Marten - I may have a fractured skull, but my point is proven!
Faye- I'm not saying I ever want to do that, but if I did I would take your skinny ass out.
(Most of the good quotes in QC require context).
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Marten - "What the hell ass balls!?"
People still give me looks for exclaiming that.
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oh come on people, it's totally this one:
Mr. Reed: YOUR MOM is Veronica Vance? Holy shit kid, I musta whacked it to your mom's pictures a million friggin' times!...That...that was prob'ly too much information, huh.
Marten: It's okay. Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth.
I don't think I ever laughed so hard at any other comic! :laugh:
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we're not emo hobos. it's emotional hobocore
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My favorite quote is actually from VERY EARLY in the archives after Pintsize eats the cake batter and Marten threatens to have wanted to cook him, and he says: "I would taste delicious!"
Favorite. Quote. Ever. It still makes me laugh every time see it.
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Faye: "Go...eat...a COOKIE!"
Pintsize: "The Quakers were masters of siege warfare."
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Faye: "You know what I really hate?"
Marten: "Mm?"
Faye: "When you're pooping and it burns and you know you'll have to wipe like 40 times to get clean."
See here: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=17
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Pintsize: "My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet, and a Kuiper Belt object. It takes four hours and you can't skip any of the cutscenes"
See here: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=707
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Faye: Well....I do enjoy it when my bottom causes major property damage"
Pintsize: "Fire, Filth and Destruction? Clearly we are going to make great neighbours"
Ellen: "well, deflowering is one of Steve's few marketable skills"
Pintsize: "I'm good at deforestation"
as it happens, I'm rereading the whole series, so stumbling across loads of great, forgotten lines
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Raven: "I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an AWESOME rack."
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Everythings ruined forever!
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oh come on people, it's totally this one:
Mr. Reed: YOUR MOM is Veronica Vance? Holy shit kid, I musta whacked it to your mom's pictures a million friggin' times!...That...that was prob'ly too much information, huh.
Marten: It's okay. Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth.
I don't think I ever laughed so hard at any other comic! :laugh:
YES! BEST. LINE. EVER!
That's worth some form of award on its own.
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EURGH!
love it when Pintsize says he's going to rub his pube-beard on everyone, but can't remember the direct Quote nor can be arsed to look it up...
It's "Robot Fidel Castro will rub his pube-beard all over your ignorant capitalist faces!"
Seen here: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
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My favorite is one of the first 20 strips and my friends and I still make jokes about it...
Marten: One of the core tenets of my sex life is "No poo-poo on the pee-pee"
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=18
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"Your problems are utterly alien to me. It's like a bear complaining to a shark that its knees hurt."
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"He's like an incontinent kitten. Adorable, but you don't want it on top of you."
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" 'Liquid testicles' does not have the same ring to it as 'liquid courage' "
"Okay,either I'm having my first wet dream in ten years,or Pintsize put some LSD in my cheerios this morning"
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"Just go out and bang some dude" is one of the phrases you will never hear a psychiatrist say. Other such phrases include "I think the heroin is doing you a lot of good," and "jesus, no WONDER your mother never loved you."
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This thread is a couple days old, but I had to add:
"Gasp! It is a Bra Pirate! The nemesis of all Underwear Ninja!" "Faye: Avast, ninja scalawag! Arr!" "Marten: This is... it's... okay there is not a word for how weird this is."
and
"Faye: No, the peaches are most definitely not ripe. YES, I'm sure. THEY ARE NOT RIPE MOTHER GOODBYE."
and
"Marten: NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you all placated so the South won't rise again."
and
"Faye: Thinkin' about dogs. I was gonna make fun of Raven for it, but it's actually a really relaxing way to start the day." "Raven: They're fuzzy!"
and last but not least,
"Marten: Quick, placate the other patrons with your rosy cookie gases!"
Edit: One more:
"Pintsize: Curses! I am powerless against the might of duct tape!"
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Faye: I will stab you and poop in the wound.
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I feel that after today's comic, this must be added to the list:
Raven: "I might not be the sharpest bulb in the box, but I'm not THAT gulliable."
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Faye: He's skipping down the street. He is SKIPPING. You two WEREN'T at the hospital the whole time, were you!
Dora: I'm not sayin' anything. Although I'm surprised he's not too sore to skip.
Faye: A bluebird just landed on his shoulder! Random pedestrians are joining him in a complicated dance routine!
That, and Marten with the penis in your mouth line. Tremendous comeback, and I've thought about using that one myself since I read it, though it's not likely.
One more: When Dora was talking about Faye plotting downfalls, and she says they make her feel tingly. I enjoyed that one a lot!
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"Nothing says I love you like anaphylactic shock."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=839
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I think it was Faye that said this one, and there are probably funnier ones but this one just stuck out at me!
"Oh yeah, and the Declaration of Independence might have IMPLIED that the colonists were slightly miffed with King George."
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EURGH!
love it when Pintsize says he's going to rub his pube-beard on everyone, but can't remember the direct Quote nor can be arsed to look it up...
It's "Robot Fidel Castro will rub his pube-beard all over your ignorant capitalist faces!"
Seen here: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
That strip was made of pure win.
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Replace any word in a phrase with "lion" and it makes it better. -Raven
I have lived by that line ever since I read it.
The lion is mightier than the sword.
The pen is mighter than the lion.
Either way, it works!
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ME TOO! :D
And oh, the odd looks I get sometimes...
But it's worth it.
She who laughs last laughs the lion.
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"Gasp! It is a Bra Pirate! The nemesis of all Underwear Ninja!" "Faye: Avast, ninja scalawag! Arr!" "Marten: This is... it's... okay there is not a word for how weird this is."
Man, if I could only find that one
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Number fifty (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=50), man.
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An honorable mention, at least, to "I hate change. It changes things."
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"Do not underestimate the power of the dark side Meatbag"
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I find myself giggling and muttering "I'm eating cakemix!" under my breath with alarming regularity.
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"P-Please don't use your sexy voice to describe very unpleasant activites... it confuses my boner." - Marten
If only I could find the damn strip that was in... damn Jeph for his ridiculous titles ^^
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http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=107 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=107)
This one really cracked me up, even though it's quite disturbing. xD
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"P-Please don't use your sexy voice to describe very unpleasant activites... it confuses my boner." - Marten
If only I could find the damn strip that was in... damn Jeph for his ridiculous titles ^^
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=866 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=866)
There you go.
I Also enjoy the quote:
"His power level is over 9000"
Tis a classic reference.
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http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=866 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=866)
There you go.
Thanks, man. You savin' my life! =)
Oh, and btw.:
"Thongs for everyone!" - Pintsize
(In itself the clearest statement that we have yet to creat A.I.)
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Don't Thank me, THANK THE THUMB!
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Heh , my fav quote is in my sig , from marten , after winslow took out his face.Think its 4 comics before the robot ass-grabbery by hanners.
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http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=438
Fourth panel makes me lol. :laugh:
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How about: "What am I supposed to say? 'I claim this ass in the name of my wang?'"
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Habble babbly gabble nurr...
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Marten: Man I'd be the worst praying mantis ever. "Oh sure, you can bite my head off without mating with me, I understand. You have ISSUES."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=520 (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=520)
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Faye: "Also, that was the most emo thing I have ever said. Please just kill me before I metaphor again."
Last panel of No. 340 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=340).
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pintsize: "massive property damage is no concern to the king"
edit: also this one
Steve: "kind of like taking off a girl's bra?"
Marten: "yeah except CD's don't start giggling if it takes you more than 15 seconds"
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Hey all!
Not quite sure about the exact wording or the comic number but i'm sure someone will remember it as it was such an epic dialogue.
Marten: What are you doing?
Pintsize: We're playing Forum DnD
Pintsize: You go back to a thread you opened yesterday, when you are confronted by a flaming noob. Flaming noobs hits you for WTF!?
Random AnthroPC: I roll for STFU noob!
Pintsize: No dice.
Random: Damn it, can I make a saving lols?
Wish I knew it better.
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now I doubt this is accurate, but It is still my favorite and I can't find the comic
Raven: be like toucan Sam and follow you nose, except with your crotch.
Martin: I'd rather not end up with my wang in a bowl of cold cereal.
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http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=541
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"I am like a hipster Emily Dickinson, only not a gay shut-in!"
Oh, faye.
I do love thee.
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One of the finalists should be "Quickly, placate the other patrons with your rosy cookie gases!"
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Too many...
"LOOK AT MY ASS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!"
"I could have got some productive worrying done today but I wasted it all!"
"Well, I suppose we could convert the spare room into stables and GODDAMNIT STOP CONTROLLING MY BRAIN."
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"Nowadays it's always blah blah shareholders and blah blah liquid capital. Abiding by silly "contracts" and "international laws." I do miss getting my hands really DIRTY, sometimes.
"Of course, now I have a cadre of amoral minions to do my bidding for me. There IS something to be said for a good cadre of minions."
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"You have the bedside manner of an autistic vulture" is a good one, as is "You're making me hungry, Raven".
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Tee hee: just read this one.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just...tripped over my gigantic wang. Happens all the time. Damn thing's like a milicious ball python."
"But...your pants are zipped up."
"I know. It coils around my ankle if I don't pay attention. Very malicious."
Oh, that's my favourite one as well. It was just so hilarious in the situation. The word ball python did the trick.
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How about: "What am I supposed to say? 'I claim this ass in the name of my wang?'"
That one's my favorite too, except I think the verbatim wording is funnier:
"What am I gonna do, plant a flag on her ass and claim it in the name of my wang?"
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=263
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Faye: "Comparing other women to me is like comparing Sputnik to a space-borne death laser."
Or something to that effect. I'm workin' from the memory here.
ps: my. first. post. ever.
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"Robot Fidel Castro will rub his pube-beard all over your ignorant capitalist faces!"
This was my status on facebook.
Best line EVER.
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Marten: "Because nothing gets a lady hotter than a little robot going 'doom-chick-doom-doom-chick' in their ears."
Pintsize: "And if you start playing in 3/4 time, suddenly they become bicurious!"
Pintsize is my favorite. And that line was fall-down-laughing funny. Others:
Marten: "My life in a nutshell: I go out to a bar, have some drinks, and start talking to a girl I don't know who wants to take me back to her place, not for crazy drunken sex, but so she can kick my drunk ass at Scrabble."
Hannelore: "I also slipped a roofie into your last drink. You'll all be spellin' 'murmule' and 'burngsu' and 'rmnxtu' and you won't even remember it tomorrow morning."
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WHAM!
Marten: "Now we're even. Bitch."
Monk: "Damn, that was cold-blooded. Have you considered a career as an evil henchman?"
Dora: "Oh my God, it's like he's channeling Bruce Campbell. SO. HOT."
Faye: "When did we get a soufflé pan?"
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Dora: "Take off the pants, let's see if it's anatomically correct."
Faye: "How about NO."
Marten: "Yeah, Faye's right. I'd rather not."
Dora: "Aww, how come?"
Marten: "Because if the doll is proportionately better hung than me I'd have to go jump off a bridge."
Faye: "If it were exactly to scale I think the implications would be even more disturbing."
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Faye: "Ahh, much better. I had to race like a piss-horse."
Dora: "Piss-horse would make an awesome name for a southern doom-metal band."
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Marten: "Quick! Placate the other customers with your rosy cookie gases!"
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Pintsize: "The blender is an amazing artist."
Hannelore: "I suppose those would be his paintings on the ceiling."
Pintsize: "He's very enthusiastic."
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"Wait til you see the tip jar. I haven't seen that many tear-stained dollar bills since dad hired a stripper for my uncle's funeral."
I have never laughed harder at a QC comic.
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I have had this feeling a few times... yeah can really relate to this one.
Faye "It's OK honey, take your time. I realize this is like interrupting an intricate waltz with a sledgehammer to the knee."
Here is the one I got it from so you can have the full context to it.
http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=500
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Actually, Faye said that. (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=500)
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if aliens ever really tried to contact us, it'd be through the internet. then 4chan would probably scare them off
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oh come on people, it's totally this one:
Mr. Reed: YOUR MOM is Veronica Vance? Holy shit kid, I musta whacked it to your mom's pictures a million friggin' times!...That...that was prob'ly too much information, huh.
Marten: It's okay. Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth.
I don't think I ever laughed so hard at any other comic! :laugh:
Don't forget the touche by dad
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Opps, Thanks Celticgeek I totally messed up on who I put for that last quote. I fixed it. :mrgreen:
Here is another one by Faye I really liked.
"Hee. His first thought would be "BJORN WANT HOT PEASENT GIRL" and his second thought would be "AUGH PEASENT GIRL ANALLY VIOLATING BJORN WITH BJORN'S OWN BATTLEAXE!""
That one just makes me smile :evil:
http://www. questionablecontent. net/view. php?comic=403
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"I'm not awful, I just believe that neuroses should be put to constructive use."
I took this quote to heart.
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my two are
Your problems are utterly alien to me. It's like a bear complaining to a shark that its knees hurt
and
What the hell ass balls?
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"[Love is...] A complex sequence of neurochemical reactions that makes people behave like idiots." -Meena (the favorite Quoted-For-Truth QC Quote)
"My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet, and a Kuiper Belt object. It takes four hours and you can't skip any of the cutscenes" -Pintsize (favorite game-related QC Quote)
Pretty much anything from Pintsize (favorite random humor QC Quote)
I could write many, many other categories, but that would probably make people bored :P
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I have another one, when Sven sings Queen at the bar and Faye says "I WILL KILL HIM!" and Hannelore says "Please don't its my birthday"
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EVERYTHING IS FINE
NOTHING IS THE MATTER
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F: "Yes! Rampaging bears are the answer to all our cultural missteps!"
D: "Exactly. Paris Hilton? Bear attack. Emo? Bear attack. Reality television? Bear attack. Ann Coulter? Two bear attacks and a swarm of angry locusts."
Also:
Amir: "Now I know she's kidding. I've seen Anal Cumsluts Four and you're definitely not in it."
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Pintsize: "In Soviet Russia, cake mixes you!"
:evil:
Easily.
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I'm glad no one posted this yet. I think I'm about to win.
Faye: I'll come with you. If Steve is doing okay he won't be doing okay much longer. Raven, do you know what an alibi is?
Raven: Is it a kind of seabird?
Faye: Close enough. If the police come by later, tell them I was carried off by a giant seabird.
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=471 :-D
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New one.
Hannelore: The manual says that sequence of beeps means... "Quit flirtin' with my woman."
Marten: FLIRTING!?
Winslow: HIS woman!?
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=704 4th panel
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I don't have a specific one, but
For the love of GOD, Montressor!
comes to mind.
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From my single favorite panel to date (in #1080):
Hanners:PPPS: Thanks for not waking me up with your sex noises.
PPPPS: Sorry, that last post-script sounded way less creepy in my head.
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I love a lot, but I did not see these favorites of mine.
Faye: My other oversized foam weapon is The Lord!
and
Pintsize: "These pipes are cleeeeean."
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For the love of God, Montressor! is pretty high up there, but that being said, I love this one:
Pintsize: You know who else knew Latin? THE NAZIS.
Hanners: You know who knew more Latin than the Nazis? INDIANA JONES.
Hanners: You smell that? Do you smell that? Fabric cleaner, son. I love the smell of fabric cleaner in the morning.
Faye: There is no God. There is only Harrison Ford and his chiseled jawline.
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I have a ton, but the first one that comes to mind is from one of the early ones:
"Shut your sarcasm hole"-Dora
I say that to people occasionally, and then giggle hysterically to myself after they've left the room.
also: @ Jepser:
I was listening to a New Order song while reading this thread and your avatar was moving in exact coordination with the beat...creepy.
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For the love of God, Montressor! is pretty high up there, but that being said, I love this one:
Pintsize: You know who else knew Latin? THE NAZIS.
Hanners: You know who knew more Latin than the Nazis? INDIANA JONES.
I loved the next line too: "The only thing more stupid than an internet conversation is the same conversation in real life."
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What comic is that from? I don't remember it very well.
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I really like the fourth panel of #38:
Marten: "Perhaps not the wisest decision, but a good decision nonetheless!"
Jimbo: "Where I come from, we just shorten that sentence to 'woo!'"
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What comic is that from? I don't remember it very well.
1020: Godwin Wars (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1020) and I quoted it slightly wrong, of course.
"I'm a cat macro!"
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Hmmm... Jeph is undoubtedly a quotable icon. But to pick his Masterworks...
Pintsize: "It was like getting hit by a freight-train carrying sixty tons of SEX!"
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Hannelore: "No you cannot 'just run him through a wood-chipper' first!"
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Hannelore: "Do you mean my biological age or should I include the time I spent in bio-stasis?"
Faye: "..."
Faye: "Are you fucking with me!?"
Hannelore: "Yes, I'm sorry."
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Now that you bring up that strip, "I am the depleted uranium of femininity" is up there.
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i cant beleive no one has said this:
Furry porn is like Syphilis for your computer.
i know its not exact, im quoting from memory but still its funny as hell.
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#377, and you got it exactly.
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i also like the bear complaining to the shark one... hold on let me find it.
Your problems are utterly alien to me. It's like a bear complaining to a shark that its knees hurt.
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One of my favorites is:
Dora: Why do I suddenly want to dance around giggling like an idiot while a smiling man in a white suit throws confetti at me?
Faye: That feeling is what we non-goths call "happiness".
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"Damn, I just washed that knife, too."
"I'll bring my '65 Les Paul over for you to ogle." It's become an inside joke in my circle of friends for whenever anyone gets new gear.
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EVERYTHING IS FINE
NOTHING IS THE MATTER
HAHAHAHAHA I had forgotten. best quote ever.
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Marten: Protect your breastss from him (pintsize)
Dora:I'll protect yours Faye!
I forget which comic that is but it sure was funny
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Faye: It is impossible to ignore a girl who your nipple in a vice like grip.
Dora: A card? Seriously?
Sven: She's cute when she's off her guard.
Dora: I get it. This has become some sort of game to you, hasn't it.
Sven: You might say I'm returning her serve, yeah.
Dora: Be careful where you aim your balls.
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Hannelore: Oh, is it okay if I set them up in your practice space? I don't think think I should play drums in my apartment.
Marten: Yeah, of course. It's not the... cleanest place, though. Can you handle that?
Hannelore: Can I HANDLE it? I am a cleaning NINJA. I'll make that dirt my BITCH.
Marten: If I were a dust bunny and I saw that look in your eye, I'd just commit suicide to spare myself the horror about to be visited upon me.
That's probably my favorite, not including PintSize's wacky antics.
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"I thought this was an odd shaped urinal."
I might have the wording slightly off.
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"I thought this was a funny-lookin' urinal"
From #515.
Not that I'm a nerd or anything.
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Pintsize: Faye locked me in here(the freezer) like 3 hours ago
Marten: Why did she do that?
Pintsize: I'm pretty sure it was either asking whether you two got it on last night after I went to sleep or or the obscene hip gyrations that accompied my query.
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From http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=80
Pintsize: That is what a 404 error feels like.
Makes me lol every time :laugh:
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"Wanna see a magic trick?" and "Why so serious."
. . . oh wait, that was The Joker, umm
I'd have to say the one where http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=799 "Man I'm getting jaded. My first thought was 'dammit, and I just washed that knife, too.'"
Also http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1055 "He's not a hobo, he's Canadian!"
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From the Pintsize-in-the-freezer strip, I really liked "Mm. Waffles."
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"If Pintsize ever develops liquid metal technology we're all screwed. Literally. With giant chrome wangs."
Hands down my favorite from the whole series. I was just introduced to QC about 2 weeks ago and spent 2 days going from 1 to current and that one sticks out as the best for me.
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my fave is an older one where Pintsize huygs Faye and Dora than makes some comment about there boobs being pillows.
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instead of giving you a gift basket, he sends you JPEGS of equine porn. - Pintsize.
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Dora: Peaches? More like tubby sacks of pork rinds! Marten might as well stick his dick in a tub of Crisco!
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Hannelore: Oh, Dr. Jones, let me be the soft, yielding Kentucky to your rigid, manly Indiana...
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Penelope: References to "luscious fruit" and "delicate flowers" are probably third date material.
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Sven: Please tell me you don't own a cloak.
Wil: I own SEVERAL!
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"When a housecat kills a human he is regarded as a god by his feline peers (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=493)."
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're really hot,
Let's Fuck."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1189
But my favorite one is
[Love is]"...A complex sequence of neurochemical that makes people behave like idiots"
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1039
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"WORRY HAT ENGAGE!"
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"Nice tits, can I take a shit on them." - Sven
"Domestic abuse is wrong. And I really like cheerios." - Steve
"I WILL NOT GROW A PENIS FOR YOU!" - Dora
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"I WILL NOT GROW A PENIS FOR YOU!" - Dora
There's probably some fanart out there somewhere disproving that quote.
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The "memorable quotes" section for each character in the wiki is a convenient way to research candidates for your favorite.
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NO, you can NOT "just run him through a wood chipper first." (http://www.questionablecontent.net/994)
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http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=976 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=976), last panel:
Dora: "Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past."
Marten: "If that's true, then wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future."
Faye: "And common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot NOW."
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Fave dialogue:
(the Padma strips)
"He's screwed." "For the next two weeks, anyway."
And may I add just one word:
"Cump."
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CLINTON : (angry speechless glare)
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Banana smoothie!
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"Look at me, I'm John the Baptist!" (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=21)
I still giggle like an idiot whenever I read this. I think because I was a preacher's kid growing up I find irreverent humor especially funny.
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MARTEN: (speechless, finger upraised, after Steve replies in the affirmative as to whether he thinks Marten can't lift one end of Dora's couch on his own.)
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I use that one all the time!
It's often more effective than actually saying anything...
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I should specify: index finger.
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"Please tell me Faye's in the bedroom, and you're not just dancing around my apartment with nothing but a hot pink condom on."
"It's really more of a puce." (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1888)(link changed by moderator -- iicih)
edit: Sorry, should have tested it.
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That doesn't link to the comic it looks like it should...
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"Cump."
This.
Also:
Faye: "I'm makin' a pee-rah-mid!" (this makes me laugh much harder than it probably should)
Pintsize: "I would be DELICIOUS."
Dora: "I hate babies. Awful little mewling poo-larvae."
Raven: "Whoa, Picasso had blue periods? I thought he was a guy!"
Hannelore: "You smell that? Do you smell that? Fabric cleaner, son. I love the smell of fabric cleaner in the morning"
and also-"THIS PLACE IS A BUTT AND YOU ARE ALSO A BUTT"
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my favorite quote is from penelope
You're brain can't always work like this! you wouldn't have survived childhood!
From the Raven breaking into the coffee shop story line, i've used it at least three times when i run into completely idiotic ideas
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Marten: "Please don't use your sexy voice to describe really unpleasant activities. It confuses my boner."
Also
"HOBOHLBOHBLHOBLH!" (from 238 (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=238))
[ ... ]
You're brain can't always work like this! you wouldn't have survived childhood!
[ ... ]
Your* ... sorry. °O
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I dunno about favourite but I do love...
Marten: N-no prob
Emily: And he showed me how to make a margarita, OF WHICH I'VE HAD SEVERAL.
Marten: Faye
Emily: AND HE HAS FUNNY HAIR
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2320
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It's a Pintsize quote and it's in my signature.
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"By the power of GreySkull!" (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1505)
:lol:
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Pintsize-
"Can I come down now? I can only sing 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' so many times before it gets boring."
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T:You're like a guy who shits gold bricks complaining that doesn't piss diamonds.
M:But...that would be horrible.
T:The simile still stands.
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Pintsize: "Do you have any idea how much pornography there is on the internet?"
Momo: "Ugh, no."
Pintsize: "Neither do I. BUT I INTEND TO FIND OUT."
The expression that follows is probably my favorite in the history of the comic.
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2331
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Marten: "I say, good sir, you appear to have a dab of euphoria fluid on your cummerbund!" (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1779)
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Tai: If you're so insightful about relationships, how come you have such lousy luck with them?
Marten: Well, y'know, friendsight is 20/20.
[link] (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2269)
Edit: Wow, how did I forget:
Marigold: You can probably guess how many boyfriends I've had.
Hannelore: Umm... six?
Marigold: You're off by six.
Hannelore: TWELVE?! WOW!
[link] (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1493)
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"My name is Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham. I end messes." (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1416)
Most epic QC panel ever.
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Marten: "Happy Birthday, Grandma!" (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810)
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I just used 'happy batter' five minutes before finding this thread.
It may also be related to the first glass of wine (or any alcohol) I've had in ages and I'm suddenly insta-tipsy :) Happy batter for everyone!
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"Just go out and bang some dude" is one of the phrases you will never hear a psychiatrist say. Other such phrases include "I think the heroin is doing you a lot of good," and "jesus, no WONDER your mother never loved you."
Seconded! I came into this thread to post that one. :-)
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My favourite quotes are:
The one where Faye commented on the fact that she wanted to be one of those confident indie women but, now that she's apparently achieved that goal, she's just as insecure but better at hiding it.
My other one is this one from 562 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=562):
Dora: ... For me it was just the realization that all the stuff I used to whine about—not being as popular as Sven, my teensy rack, et cetera—it was all bullshit and didn't actually MATTER. / It was like, here I am totally kicking ass at life, running a business and making friends and just being a sassy little motherfucker. Why waste my time worrying about that other shit?
Marten: Sounds like a pretty good philosophy to me.
Dora: Yeah, it'd be a great philosophy... if I could actually get myself to believe it. I'm every bit as angsty as I used to be. I just try to hide it more now.
Marten: Welcome to the club. Your laminated ID card and membership certificate should arrive by mail in 2-6 weeks.
(Thank you, Oh No Robot, for saving me having to type that wall of text out).
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Faye: WELP I'M GOING TO BED
Marten: It's not what it looks like!
Dora: Well it sort of is, but...
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Quite a few.. so here goes:
Sven: Meh. A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long. (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1274)
I'm not going to post the text, but the whole verbal battle between Hanners and Marten in this comic: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1172
Faye: Hooray, beheadings! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1118
Dora: So do you just want some coffee or would you prefer a quick fuck on the counter? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=84
Faye: "The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=478
Faye: This isn't shooting fish in a barrel, this is dropping a tactical nuke on a bucket full of carp. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=655
Raven: Me? Sarcastic? Of course not, I’m far too ditzy to grasp the subtleties of mockery. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=444#
Two others, but I can't remember the exact wording or which number: "Faye: Dora sets it up, then you come in and drop a tactical TMI on me!"
and
Faye: "OH GOD SHE WAS A WHORE, I AM DESCENDANT FROM WHORES"
Dora: "Well, it is the worlds oldest profession, so statistically speaking, we all are".
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Welcome, new person! I took the liberty of fixing the links which had extra periods in them.
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Welcome, new person! I took the liberty of fixing the links which had extra periods in them.
Whoops!
Thanks!
Also, other great quotes: "I thought you were going to warn me about, like, a racist uncle or something." - Claire http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2378
Marten: "What's the best way to piss off an indie rock snob? Actually enjoy music." - I forget which.
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HANNERS: But then we'd have to worry about Moose!
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Marten: Metal foot! Metal foot… to… mantenna array! Pain level…Shatnerian… in intensity!
One of the best quotes EVAR
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"My arm is broken! What was I supposed to do? Ask the bear to sign my cast?"
"My chest is not the Make-A-Wish Foundation!"
"I shall...do something in Ohio."
"The blood of Martha Stewart must never be spilled, or it will usher in the Apocalypse!"
"Jovian cans for a jovial man."
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HANNELORE: "AAAAAAAAAA!"
MARIGOLD: "AAAAAAAAAA!"
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"Happy birthday, Grandma!"
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"HELL yes. My pussy RULES"
"Baking is wonderful! It's like science for hungry people!"
"We have kind of a weird group of friends"
"Rule 34 is the ultimate expression of human creativity!"
"I have no idea why we're playing dodgeball, just go with it.
"WELP Time for some Emergency Bourbon"
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Marigold: No, I'm serious! Spaghetti-Os and Mountain Dew and you'll be totally better!
Hannelore: I am just feverish enough that this seems plausible.
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Um, it's today's comic!
(This was a response to a post, now deleted, by Is it cold in here?)
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I just deleted my comment, which was based on a pre-coffee failure to realize that sometimes the comic updates while I'm asleep.
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"Hey, I did the companion thing. I was Martens only friend here for two years."
I loved how Pintsize has so much more depth to him than we all like to believe.
edited to add source: Insider Talk (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2332)
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Marigold: No, I'm serious! Spaghetti-Os and Mountain Dew and you'll be totally better!
Hannelore: I am just feverish enough that this seems plausible.
Um, it's today's comic!
Yes, and? It's still one of my favorite quotes.
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There was a post after yours that got deleted - that's what pwhodges responded to.
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Ahh, okay, I never saw that post so I misunderstood. Thanks for clarifying.
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"Muskrat, Muskrat, Muskrat, Muskrat"
Always cracks me up :D
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"I'm a quantum jerk." -Sven (797)
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"I am a milk ninja"
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While the standing "rule" is to cite your sources, I'm pretty sure we all recognize that one...
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"music plus science equals sexy" - Faye - 126
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"They'll hurt my psychic clone-baby!" - Hanners (1119 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1119))
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"i am eternal" - Randy the Bandicoot God, The Book of Randy Comic 1816.
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Just found a good one while archive-diving. Faye in 641 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=641):
Different countries have different veins of bread running beneath them -- Germany has vast pumpernickel deposits, while the French export more than a million tons of baguette shale each year. America has pungent sourdough caverns in the West, and in the Midwest there's lots of wheat sinkholes.
Wonder Bread, of course, comes from New Jersey.
Ba-ZING!
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Faye: He's skipping down the street. He is SKIPPING. You two WEREN'T at the hospital the whole time, were you!
Dora: I'm not sayin' anything. Although I'm surprised he's not too sore to skip.
Faye: A bluebird just landed on his shoulder! Random pedestrians are joining him in a complicated dance routine!
This interaction between Faye and Dora's my all time favorite.
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One of my favorite moments in the strip is Pintzie as Thumblord. Comedy gold.
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LOL BUTTS LOL
I've had chronic butts disease ever since I first saw that quote.
One of my favorite moments in the strip is Pintzie as Thumblord. Comedy gold.
Yes.
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By a wide, wide margin, my favorite QC quote is...
"Is it true that some people eat other people's poop as a fetish?"
Although my favorite gag is the "LOL FALL IN LOL" bucket.
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I have finally decided on my favorite QC quote:
It's...peaty? Is that the right word? But there's also some vanilla
and caramel in there. And maybe a little bit of... old leather?
That's weird. Last night it just tasted like horrible burning.
She is obviously a Laphroaig drinker.
Favorite QC quote (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2400)
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I just reread the "Hanners and Sven go on a date" ark from the 1750ies onward. One of my favourite QC moments (though not really a single quote) is definitely in there: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1760 (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1760)
Hanners: Could you explain how, exactly, Sven would "seduce" me?
Faye: Okay, here goes. First he takes you shopping at that store with all the cute little organizational bullshit and buys you whatever you want. Then you eat at that vegan café that wins "Cleanest Dining in the Valley" every year. After dinner, you go back to your place, where you watch a movie about fonts he rented. When the movie ends, he turns to you, looks deep into your eyes... and offers to clean your kitchen."
Hanners (blushing): Th-that wouldn't work.
This is so great!
(I hope I didn't overlook it mentioned before... I read this entire thread some time, but it's been a while.)
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As a huge metal fan, I can't possibly overlook the entirety of strip 666.
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=666
However, my personal favorite quote has to be from 336
Faye: Goddamnit, I've been flummoxed by someone with the IQ of a herring.
Marten: A herring given to surprising insight, at times.
Raven: Herrings are pretty birds, so I'll take that as a compliment.
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=336
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#1145: (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1145)
As far as pathogens go, friendship is pretty okay.
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However, my personal favorite quote has to be from 336
Faye: Goddamnit, I've been flummoxed by someone with the IQ of a herring.
Marten: A herring given to surprising insight, at times.
Raven: Herrings are pretty birds, so I'll take that as a compliment.
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=336
I especially love Faye's line because she used the word "flummoxed" -- not one you hear much nowadays. 8-)
#1145: (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1145)As far as pathogens go, friendship is pretty okay.
Haha, indeed.
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Too lazy to read anything other than this page, so here goes:
Yelling bird: "AND THEN THEY ALL FUCKED."
I think that sums just about everything up.
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(Shhhhh... That's the rumored "last line" of QC!)
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I keep quoting "This is why I don't like change. It changes things."
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I'm actually liking today's:
"It won't look good on my parole report if she kills him."
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Considering your job, you may get opportunities to use it!
With pronoun changes, of course.
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"Baking is wonderful! It's like science for hungry people!"
I second that motion.
And:
"He's an anarcho-primitivist, I agree with Chomsky's view that it's untenable as a political belief system... Plus, he's really into anal. Like, ew." - Raven
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My current favorite is Claire's "Get it? Get it?" face.
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This (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1918) is one of my favorite strips from QC. The one thing I really like about post-Dorapocalypse is how much Steve gets to shine in her stead.
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Screw it. I think I just found my favorite quote, because its delivery is just perfect:
"NO. (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1936)", by Faye Whittaker.
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I don't think it's my favourite, but I've always loved this simile:
Your problems are utterly alien to me. It's like a bear complaining to a shark that it's knees hurt.
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"Don't go gettin' any ideas. I'm only holdin' onto ya 'cause I'll fall down otherwise.
Waaugh!!
Just testing."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=873
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Hello, new person!
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Welcome, new archive miner!
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"Don't go gettin' any ideas. I'm only holdin' onto ya 'cause I'll fall down otherwise.
Waaugh!!
Just testing."
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=873
And a brief while after that:
"Now I'm imagining you having sex with a purple elephant!
Everything is ruined forever! (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=879)"
Probably resonates because of the t-shirt... which must be out of print. It's not at TopatoCo, but I found this...
(http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/b/0/0/10/0/AAAAC8GSgGoAAAAAABADug.png?v=1228013713000)
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just Wil's "goodness, that was some rather heavy handed subtext". (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1484) i've used those last three words in almost all of my english essays since seeing that line.
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just Wil's "goodness, that was some rather heavy handed subtext". (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1484) i've used those last three words in almost all of my english essays since seeing that line.
...and I'm sure that Wil, being an accomplished wordsmith, would know that 'subtext' is nothing but an anagram for 'buttsex'.
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given how i have friends on the same course who are always trying to sneak the phrase "titty sprinkles" into their essays somehow, i think an anagrammed version of buttsex is acceptable. :lol:
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titty sprinkles
Chocolate, or rainbow?
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given how i have friends on the same course who are always trying to sneak the phrase "titty sprinkles" into their essays somehow, i think an anagrammed version of buttsex is acceptable. :lol:
"Stinky triplets".
I had to
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titty sprinkles
Chocolate, or rainbow?
i don't think they're exactly discriminatory in their flavours. :P
given how i have friends on the same course who are always trying to sneak the phrase "titty sprinkles" into their essays somehow, i think an anagrammed version of buttsex is acceptable. :lol:
"Stinky triplets".
I had to
we've all been there man