THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Eris on 13 May 2008, 03:09
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After reading an old thread (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,15772.0.html) about this topic, and having some conversations about it on gabbly, I thought it would be interesting to see what other people thought about the topic of self image, or body image. The other thread was about negative self image, but I was wondering what people thought about themselves (or for people who posted in the original thread, have your opinions about yourself changed over the years?)
I have generally had a positive image of myself. My parents always told me I was "the right size for me", and that has stuck with me over the years. It especially helps when people think (or just assume) I am anorexic. Generally I am happy with what I got; I could have gotten my grandfather's cauliflower ears, my Dad's nose, red hair (from either side of my family) and a less handy metabolism. But I didn't, and for that I am glad. I could have been an ugly person if luck wasn't on my side.
That being said, on bad days I hate everything about myself. I am short, have sticky-out ears, have dodgy eyes, dodgy lungs, a dodgy back, am a klutz and always seem to say the wrong thing. There are people out there who are prettier, funnier and more interesting than I am, so I should just hide in my room and no one will really notice.
I guess that means that some things haven't changed from when I posted a reply two years ago about this topic. I am still denying that I am pretty, but I guess now I have someone who likes to remind me that I am being silly and that I am gorgeous. This helps; maybe one day I will really believe it without having to be reminded!
So yeah, do you have a good self image? Do you think you are going to break mirrors if you look in them? Are there bits of yourself that you do not like, but really aren't that noticeable? Anything you like about yourself?
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I have always been that weird kind of nerdy looking girl! And I used to be full of horrible horrible self loathing.
But you know, once a boy actually shows some form of actual interest in you it helps alot! now I have a way better body image than I used to, and loxley can tell me my butt is big all he likes, I'm still not going to do anything about it! I wish I had bigger boobs, but other than that, I get along ok with what I've got!
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I have realistic image of myself, I'm fat. I always have been and still am. I used to get bullied for it and some of the more childish people I still know poke me for it. Sure I've lost weight and I know alot of other people who are far fatter than I but I'm still fat. Thunder thieghs, flabby arse, flab abs and a gut. It shows in my face as well.
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See this is one of the things that I really love and hate to talk about.
As I said in the old thread, growing up I was the Ugly One, and because of that I am incredibly socially awkward and have a tough time believing that people actually like me and possibly find me attractive and aren't just paying me attention so that they can pick on me, or that they aren't staring at me because I'm hideous.
Over the years my use of the Internet and making online friends has straightened me out a little bit, but I'm still sort of distrustful of Internet People's opinions of my appearance because the nature of the Internet means I only have to show them pictures of me where I'm looking good.
Lately, however, I seem to be really blossoming (for lack of a better word). After my Flickr group's recommendations, I have taken up amateur modeling, and the other day I even spent a couple of hours talking to A Very Cute Boy At A Party without feeling self-conscious!
Oh, and before anyone else gets in:
(http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/1911/ally2jn3.jpg)
I think this is a really very nice picture of me at highschool (my skin was skin-coloured rather than red, my hair wasn't hacked off to two inches, my eyebrows seem to have been plucked), I was supremely happy when I got the photos in. (I can't show you any of the others because they are actually all destroyed, except for a very very small one in a frame at my Grandmother's house.) However when I scanned the picture to show to one of my Internet Boyfriends at the time, he basically told me I was hideous and didn't speak to me ever again.
I still think it's a nice picture.
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I have pretty much always had an incredibly negative self image, sometimes to an extreme extent.
However, a few weeks ago I performed semi-naked in a Pagan fire festival in front of 8000 people. That was really, really liberating, and has made me an awful lot more comfortable with my body. It was a really good experience. There are even photos of it on the internet and I don't want to cry myself to sleep over them.
But I think so many people are beautiful. And I wish appearance wasn't made out to be this huge deal because whoever you are, whatever you look like, someone will think you're beautiful.
...but tomorrow a guy I've been sleeping with for months is coming back from holiday and I imagine he will undo all my good work and positive mindset.
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I like to think I am realistic about my body. I'm pretty overweight at about 105kgs and roughly 5'11. All in all I'm pretty uncomfortable with how I look which is why I'm generally wearing big coats or loose clothing so it isn't all that noticeable. It's also why I wear a lot of black (that and I like it). On the other hand I have pretty rockin' lips, nice enough eyebrows, I have a nice wink and I'm pretty proud of my arse. I'd like to lose some weight and I keep telling myself that I'll do it but I am very very very lazy. I sometimes wish I lived in the 1920s because I would have been fucking handsome because the style (http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=015) then was dudes who looked like me. Maybe if I can psych myself up properly I can join the gym over winter and trim down and tone up a little bit.
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I'm mostly alright with myself. I could afford to lose 30 pounds. I also have a tendency to get lost in thought sometimes. Like, I'll kind of forget what I'm doing for 15 minutes. Not daydreaming, because that implies fantasizing. I just think too hard to do anything else for a little bit. I do like my hair a lot, as long as it's clean.
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I am unpleasantly skinny. I don't BS myself about it, though. And I've gained like 15 pounds (like 6-7 kilos?) over the last two weeks. It is a real effort to gain and keep weight like that, so I'm proud of myself!
What I do like about being this skinny is the fact that I am superfuckingfast on my feet. 5km in 22 minutes didn't wind me last summer when I was at my heaviest (135lbs, it was GREAT, I looked superfine).
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I feel like I would be more attractive if I didn't have all these fucking ticks on me. I woke up this morning and pulled another one off, but the bite is all black and painful. I'm pretty sure I have Lyme disease now. Is this because I live in a log cabin, or sleep in a pile of animals?
Yup, I'd be so hot if it weren't for all the ticks.
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Aminal, I have no idea what you're talking about, ticks on girls are hot.
I'm very small. I could probably perch on your shoulder like a parrot. And I dress terribly, as I can't afford nice clothes. I can't grow a beard, this is a huge deal to me. I spend maybe 90% of my time thinking about how disappointed I am that I can't grow a beard.
Other than these minor things, I'm really happy with my body. I benefit really quickly from a good diet and exercise, I think I look pretty great without clothes on. The only thing I could improve on, realistically, is my skin, by taking better care of it and waiting for various scars to fade. That said, I don't have a problem with scars either, of which I have many. I see a lot of people who cover scars up with clothing and accessories, but I have never felt compelled to do that. I think maybe those people have negative self image.
I grew up believing that I was a terrible person and incredibly selfish, so I overcompensated by being as generous and polite as I could, often at great expense to myself. This is because unfortunately, the vast majority of adults I met in my childhood years and adolescence were angry, bitter and resentful people who had no idea how to speak to young people. You have to treat everybody with respect, but you especially have to be respectful of young people who are still developing. The kids were assholes too, but I hold the adults responsible for that.
This is where my negative self image comes from and I spend far too much time obsessing about how I can be the perfect person I think everybody wants me to be, instead of trying to get comfortable with the person I actually am. That said, I've been wondering the sort of person I am, and I'm starting to think I might be one of those unreliable people that you don't really want to know, which lends even more to the negative self image.
This is all stuff I've really only started to become aware of in the last few months.
I am really really awkward, it shows in person.
On a totally unrelated noted, I am going to start the "Mile Hifi Club". It's where you take a hifi onto a plane and blast music out of it in the toilet.
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I hate my cheekbones, loads of people say it is a nice feature on me but I think it makes me look like a smackhead. Perhaps not helped by the fact that I am 6'4 and about 155lbs.
Looking at my dad (5'10" and ~200lbs) I know I will fill out soon enough so I will be happy but until then I suppose I could have something more to worry about that skin that is not perfect.
I wasn't always popular as a kid so I am thick skinned which is good because my old boss said I looked like an aids-ed up junkie rentboy. Which I am not.
Oh and I am going grey at age 19 just like my dad did. Thanks man, would be better if my hair wasn't otherwise super dark brown.
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Am I the only one that thinks having grey hair at a young age makes you look like a super badass?
No. I like grey hair. :) (When I'm old, mine will either be silver or completely white and it will be awesome and I will chase children with a cane and call them whippersnappers.)
I've only really become comfortable with myself in the past few years. I'm taller than most girls (and boys, sometimes), I'm chubby, I'm extremely awkward and bump into things all the time, and I bruise and scar easily. But really, I'm quite happy with my body. It's curvy, though I am chubby, I'm still healthy, my skin has improved greatly since high school, so I like my complexion more. Also, it's nice being tall, because this prevented people in high school from picking on me too much and I always have a great view at concerts. And if I'm anything like my mom, I will stay relatively young looking until my 30s, which will rock.
But yes, my metabolism sucks, so I've been exercising more and trying to eat better. I know I'll never be skinny (no woman in my family is skinny, we're all thick), but I know I can get myself to a point so I don't have to worry about it in the long run. Also, I've been breaking out of my tomboyish exterior in the past few years and wearing more feminine clothing, which helps a lot.
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I am a goddamn sexual tyrannosaur.
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Grey hair is ace. When I was younger I badly wanted to dye my hair perfectly white.
I generally regard my body as an unpleasant adversary. I used to be a fat kid (a fact nobody believes now I'm a scrawny vegan emo bastard) and therefore wore very baggy clothing, even after I lost weight. It might have been the nineties and that gave me an excuse, but baggy clothes are a terrible idea if you're big or skinny. They accentuate it just as much if not more than tight clothing, so that didn't help with having a sensible idea of my own body. These days I have no idea what I look like. Or rather, I do have an idea but I'm also aware that I have a sideshow quality mind and therefore I am not to be trusted on such matters. This leads me to place an unfortunate amount of stock in what other people say about my appearance. Not an ideal situation by any means but they're probably more reliable than I am.
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I've had a lot of trouble coming to terms with how I look over the years. Being on the recieving end of a lot of bullying made it all the more difficult, but I already went over this in the last incarnation of this thread. Over the past year, not much has changed physique-wise, but I've definitely become a lot more confident as a person, and really have given up with caring about how I look, just trying to make the most of what I have, which is always my boobs. I'm always going to be very body-conscious, but I tend to push it to the back of my mind and just get on with my life. I figure, if I want to wear a dress or a bikini, I shouldn't stop myself because I'm worried that people are going to be as vicious to me as they used to be, so I'll wear that dress, those heels, that swimsuit, whatever. So regardless of the fact that I still can't lose weight, I'm still a lot bigger than I'd really like to be, and that sometimes finding clothes I like that fit is a real mission, I'm in a much better place than I was. I'm relying on my personality to meet girls, like always, but to be honest no matter how I look, my personality will always be better in my eyes. I'm quite proud of who I am on the inside.
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I have a fairly up-and-down relationship with my body. I mean, I realize I am an attractive person, but it's not a fact I dwell on. Occasionally I do muse on how suddenly I changed between highschool and college. There are plenty of flaws of course, my main hangups being 1) I'm way too skinny, 2) my nosehairs often protrude, and 3) my breath stinks if I haven't brushed in a while.
My main body issues lately are health things (what do you expect, I'm an old man.) Like, for the past couple weeks I've become keenly aware of how out of shape I am, and am planning to start swimming regularly again soon. It's funny, people see how skinny I am and assume that means I exercise a lot, but in fact my body is slowly wasting away.
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I am impossibly sexy.
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Kudos to this thread. This is the first thread in like a week I've wanted anything to do with (Between a Pokemon thread and three birthday threads, one made my the birthday boy?). This is the first thread created this month where I didn't skip over anyone's replies either!
Anyways, I am of the overcompensating variety. Growing up, I was never comfortable in my own skin. I was short (I was 4'11" the summer before going into Freshman year at fourteen), socially awkard (Read: Star Wars nerd, comic nerd, video game nerd, etc) and not at all a looker (I just didn't know what to do with myself, nor did I particularly care, as I was socially awkward).
Fortunately, society bent to my whims and High School was advantageous. I sprouted from 4'11" to about 5'8" by the end of my Freshman year (Bringing me from third shortest in my class to one of the ten tallest) and, inexplicably, the nerd chic movement developed around my sophomore year. Suddenly, comics and video games and Star Wars weren't nerdy, it was "alternative." This moved me from the "loser" caste to the "punks, goths and miscellanea" caste. Actually having friends did a good bit for my self image, but I was still incredibly self conscious. I knew people liked me, and that did wonders for my personality and sense of self, but my self esteem and body image were still absolute shit. I was skinny as a rail (5'10" and about 120-130 lbs), had hair down past my shoulders and unable to grow facial hair in any non-awkward manner. I was popular with girls, but only as a friend (To the best of my knowledge. To this day, I cannot read women at all), so not being able to attract women in a non platonic sense didn't help my self esteem. On the other hand, actually having people who went out of their way to talk to me forced me to actually give a flying fuck about what I looked like. Putting in an effort helped a lot.
Jodie nails it, though: The best way of increasing one's self esteem is to actually have someone you're attracted to become into you. I went on all of like three or four dates before I was seventeen and the only two times I'd ever been told I was hot was by the cousin of a girl I had a crush on from like 14 to 17 and a girl who lived like two hours away). When I was about sixteen, I started to get into the whole internet thing and that helped. Unlike lunchy, however, I took what compliments I got seriously. I took the most complimented features and accentuated those while trying to draw away from the more criticized ones (Which I still do to this day). To anyone who's still in that awkward phase, I recommend this. Everyone's got good and bad features. The secret is to enhance those good features so much that people don't notice the bad. I have incredibly skinny wrists and my nose is actually slightly bent/crooked and my ears are big. Fortunately, I have nice eyes, a prominent chin/jawline and broad shoulders, so all that draws away if I dress and groom myself to accentuate those details. If you have a nice smile, laugh a lot, if you're too skinny, spend a full day trying on clothes that make skinny look good on you. It's really quite easy.
Nowadays, my self consciousness is fully behind me. I still think my wrists are too skinny, but wearing a watch and a bracelet draws away from that easily enough, so I don't really dwell on it. All that egotistical behavior of mine, much of it is actually how I feel. Given, I don't think I'm god's gift to the human race or anything, but I AM of the mind I'm quite attractive. It's like Tommy said, it's all about playing to your strengths.
(Christ, six responses while I typed that?)
Edit: P.S.: My metabolism is awesome. At last weigh in, I'm at 162, which is about the heaviest I've ever been. You should see the kind of crap I eat, too.
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I was absolutely hideous growing up. I am somewhat of a late bloomer and come into my own over the last few years and while I wouldn't necessarily call myself pretty, other people have and I tend to believe that they mean it, rather than write it off as them just being nice. I have my moments where I will look in the mirror and cringe, but for the most part I'm pleased with what I have (nice eyes, dimples, nice teeth and, while I am fat, I am proportionate so I have some kickin' curves) and work on fixing what I don't like - if I can - and if I can't I try to make peace with it. Like Tommy said, there are going to be things about yourself that you absolutely hate that other people will love you for having. Just roll with it!
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I´ve become very sensitive and unhappy about the way I look lately. Well, not the way I look in general, but certain small parts, which, ironically, are nowhere to be seen in normal conditions (namely my legs and my stomach). I guess it has something to do with me moving to another city in the summer and wanting as many people to like me as possible (I might have slight issues with that).
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Growing up I was the Uncool One, and because of that I am incredibly socially awkward and have a tough time believing that people actually like me and possibly find me attractive or that they aren't staring at me because I'm weird and/or creepy.
It was a weird revelation that occurred over, I guess, the past three years or so, that in fact, I'm not a bad looking dude, and that having grown a bit and been in this environment, my odd traits are actually really neat. I work at a job with some really hip people, and by virtue of this job pretty much everyone on campus thinks I'm cool. Because of my baking and knitting, every girl says I'm a catch. Because of my crazy projects, people think I'm weird in a good way.
I guess I've gotten over thinking I'm intrinsically ugly or anything, but I really would like to have less of a tummy and more muscles. People have shown interest in me, this is good, but doubt and negative self-image are probably the main reason at least one thing with a lady didn't work out. That shit is really unattractive.
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I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I'm not surprised the first "I am jealous of Jon" post was in the first page of the thread.
I give you the same advice I once gave Darryl: Life is worth living! (http://www.box.net/shared/e5hpwgo5cw)
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I still routinely play that message to myself sometimes. Several people recorded some really great clips.
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I'd sooner be Joseph Merrick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elephant_Man) than look like Jon, because looking as good as Jon wouldn't suit my horribly benign personality.
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there are about a million things i really dislike about my appearance. when i was a lot younger and growing up with a mother who was kind of insane and liked to put me down in order to feel better about herself this kind of fucked with me a lot. everyone wants to respond to people with low self esteem regarding their appearance by saying things like "oh but you're so pretty!" and they don't really seem to realize that for a lot of these people being attractive to someone else isn't the same thing as being attractive to yourself.
my story has kind of a weird ending because i think i like myself pretty okay and i am almost always successful with boys but i still think i am not really all that attractive. the main reason i'm okay with it now is because i got exposure to all kinds of wacky feminist ideas shortly after moving to guelph and came to the happy conclusion that how i look doesn't really matter. it's strange because lots of people see not being shallow as the ideal but i really genuinely am not and it constantly makes me come across to others as arrogant. i just don't place importance on appearance. when it comes to myself i can settle for being in shape and well groomed. if i became less smart or less hilarious that would definitely be a lot more devastating than becoming less attractive physically.
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...Then I went to college (Universityyyy) and after three years, I have figured things out, such as: even though I still think I am a fatty mcfatterson, I am pretty hot! I have a great rack and a great butt and even though my tummy is too big, no one else cares but me! I wear clothes that fit me and accentuate the positives I do have and man, everyone has flaws and most people hate something about themselves. Yeah, I have a double chin and because of it, I can do a better Meatloaf impersonation than you! Yeah, my cheeks are way chubby, and they make me look cuter. I found my niche, I found friends who truly care about me, and I hang out with a lot of hot dudes (and ladies!) who obviously don't think I suck, either.
I still basically think the same. I think people continue to focus on flaws that no one else will notice and/or care about. I do like Jon said- accentuate the positives and the negatives will be way less noticeable.
Plus most of the people I hang out with and actually want to like me appreciate a little awkwardness because it's cute.
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if i became less smart or less hilarious that would definitely be a lot more devastating than becoming less attractive physically.
Well jeez, then I'm not quite sure how to break this to you.
(<3 tania)
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I think in terms of self-improvement I agree with Tania. I would rather accentuate aspects of my personality/intelligence than my physical shortcomings, which aren't all that bad to begin with. I personally despise the girls I know who try to 'sex it up' instead of stopping their ridiculous histrionics. Wearing a thong/tight clothing does not make up for the fact that you are a horrible person (this is geared towards one particular person, if you couldn't tell, although it applies to other women I know, without the vitriol).
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My self image is pretty horrible. Looks wise I think I'm okay. I would say I'm kinda cute and not really ugly, but I also don't think I'm really that pretty. I like my curly hair but I haven't been able to find a cut that's really flattering. It gets frizzy all the time and I really hate it when it's like that. My teeth are not as nice as they could be, mainly because I always forget to brush so it happens about once a day. They're also generally straight but there's one that grew in before the old tooth had fallen out, so it sits really far back. Whenever I am in a picture I tend to tilt my head slightly to the left to cover it up a bit.
I also have extremely pale skin like Jens. Pale to the point that sometimes even the lightest makeup available is too dark. I get sunburned easily, which fades to a tan, but that never lasts. One week after I got back from a vacation in Mexico it looked like I hadn't left Minnesota. My skin is still quite acne prone, mostly on my face, but I get acne on my back and shoulders on occasion, I also have a lot of moles everywhere. For example, my left forearm alone has over 20. I'm not really self-conscious about them but sometimes I wish I didn't have so many.
Then there's my body. I am overweight by 20 pounds or so, considering my height. I'm only 5'3" or 5'4" and I fluctuate between 145-155 pounds. I know that I'm not obese or anything, but I pretty much carry the extra weight in my stomach and thighs, and I'm not comfortable with that. My arms a little thicker than I like, but it's not anything I'm self-conscious about. I do really like my lower legs, since I wear heels enough to keep them toned well. My feet are little and cute, which is nice, and I've been told by several people that I have really beautiful hands so I'll always have that to consider.
Overall, I can look at my body and see it either positively or negatively. When I consider everything I see as a flaw, things get pretty sad, but sometimes I can look at myself and say "I like my hair color" or "My eyes are pretty" and not feel like total crap. And that is pretty much it.
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Some days my hair won't fall just the way I want it to so I wear a hat instead.
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that's what i did today! i have very poofy hair, and looking like a mad scientist isn't always in my best interest so sometimes i wear a hat. like today. today i am pretending to be a Greek Fisherman. (http://www.greekshops.com/images/Hats/blkwool_901.jpg)
as for how i feel about myself; well, i feel pretty good about it most of the time. i mean, sure i smoke so my breath is probably terrible all the time and my teeth are decreasingly white as time goes on but i'm very average looking, i think. i pride myself on being able to disappear into any crowd and move ghost-like through crowded supermarket isles without getting noticed too much.
the one thing i've noticed lately is that my increasingly sedantary lifestyle has caused me to gain weight which sort of bothers me because i've spent my entire life being skinny...i mean, Patrick skinny...so being normal weight (for my height) makes me feel like a fatass but that's a matter of perspective and i know it's not true so i don't stress it.
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Haha Patrick is a unit of skinniness now?
I used to worry all the time about what I look like, and sometimes it still bugs me that most of my clothes are unflattering/slutty/both (slutty mostly because they're now too small by quite a lot, and I can't afford new ones). But when I'm feeling low about my appearance I wear something completely unsuitable and feel really confident, because I know that the weirder I look, the more people will think "she must be trying to make a statement". Also it feels like a little rebellion against people's opinions.
And I love my hair, it's suddenly become tamed and pretty and I'm really fond of it. It's completely nothing to do with anything I've done but I'm very glad of it.
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Of course he is, look at those legs:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v311/leadhindenburg/IMG_2711.jpg)
I can see a vein from here!
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I masturbate constantly to Patrick's pictures.
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there's a body image for ya!
*shudder*
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I am a pretty vain motherfucker, in my head. I love my body and my hair, as well as my wrists, nails, chest, and I'm ok with my face most days. This is a recent development, as I was a fairly late bloomer and stayed a yardstick with a giant bobble-head and teeth too big for my face until my freshman year of high school when I finally started filling out. I mean, I never got picked on for my appearance, and always had enough friends despite being a giant nerdy bookworm that my self esteem was fine, but I certainly did not like what I looked like. 12-15 were awkward horrible body years.
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An interesting topic for me as well. I would say most of my doubts revolve around my personality and not my body.
I'm tall (6' at 16 and not done growing), have broad shoulders, long legs, and I'm oddly fond of my wrists and hands (possibly because a lot of what I do, music and art, revolves around them). On that same note, I'm slightly overweight (I fluctuate between 173 and 178 pounds) and I slouch to cover it up (it hides my slight manboobs and belly). I keep promising myself to exercise more and eat less (I generally put it the fuck away) but for years it hasn't happened because I'm lazy.
None of this stops me from wearing skin-tight jeans and form-fitting shirts. I feel like skinny jeans have made me feel better about my chunky thighs.
I have my share of doubts, though. All through elementary and middle school, I was the lame kid who got made fun of a lot. Not because of my appearance so much as because I was nerdy, talked too much (a trait I have kept, unfortunately), was a huge mama's boy, and retained traces of a Russian accent (my parents wanted me to be bilingual, so I didn't learn a word of English until I went to kindergarten. I now speak both fluently and with a perfect accent, but that took a few years). I originally went to a magnet high school, and suddenly found myself in a crowd of other nerdy, smart kids. I was no longer made fun of and I had friends, but the years of bullying kept me from truly feeling this. I constantly felt like the people I was around didn't want me there, and were only being nice. Like I had to impress them or gain their approval.
To this day I'm rather socially awkward, but things have improved tremendously. Years of Debate Team have made me a confident speaker (I was never shy in the first place, just awkward and long-winded) and my activity in the local music scene and the fact that I play guitar make me feel more interesting and cooler. My first real relationship (a rather new development but old enough to call serious, 4 months) is a big factor too, of course.
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look at those legs
Go for it, sugar ;)
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I AM SO FUCKING RAD
For those of you who gabble, I am sorry you have to put up with my remarkably high self-esteem lately I am sure once the novelty of getting laid again wears off I will slip back into self-loathing and my self-esteem will plummet back to its previous levels of "Oh god I am an ugly bastard with a terribly unendearing personality and I am such a terrible cunt"
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And not a moment too soon, Brett.
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There are plenty of things about my body I like, and plenty of things I hate. It fluctuates a lot though, sometimes I'll think some of my features are great and then later I'll think they look awful. I guess I'm also gender neutral so that's interesting. I tend not to worry about my physical appearance too much though (yes, I frequently check I look ok, but it doesn't worry me unless I look weird or embarassing).
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As I wrote in the previous topic, my body image is pretty much crap, but at least I know that I can try to improve it (working on it at the moment), and I know that when I weighed less, I looked, well, okay, although about 5 years younger than I actually am, but my overall self image.. Way worse off. I mean, I know I'm not a stupid person, and sometimes I can even be funny/think of funny things to say (I just don't say them out loud a lot..).. And I'm sort of nice, but I'm not good at actually saying nice things to people etc, I rather just stay quiet. And in a way, I like the person I am, when it comes to my interests and taste etc, but there is so much stuff that has me all messed up.
<snip>
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Basically knowing that people can/do find me attractive despite being overweight and having acne is a huge help.
I swear that is not meant to be E-peen.
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:-D
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I'm always somewhat wary of posting fairly personal stuff on a forum that I'm not massively active on, but this thread is pretty interesting and is about stuff that's been on my mind lately.
Growing up I was always pretty uncomfortable with the way I looked/was - I was shy, retreating, a bit odd looking, significantly taller than most of my class mates (something that wasn't really an asset until later) and generally pretty geeky. I considered myself a pretty nice guy and generally worthwhile in a personality sense, but I had no self-confidence and spent a lot of time at home playing computer games and reading. However, over the last few years I have 'blossomed', as it were. I was never fat, but I was certainly carrying more weight than was flattering on me until I left school, at which point I lost a lot of it. I still put weight on in odd places, and struggle to stave off a beer belly, but generally I'm okay. I should eat better and do more exercise, and I am improving in this regard. I think the first year of university, with the heavy drinking, occasional drug use, lack of sleep and general antics have actually had a physical effect on me, as I look significantly older/a lot less baby-faced these days, which is an improvement - perhaps a little haggard, in comparison, but it all adds character. I have also learnt what to do with my hair and how to dress more flatteringly, and developed an ability to grow a pretty great beard, although I tend not to these days, and have a generally dark complexion that often leads people to think I am of Mediterranean descent (often these people are themselves Mediterranean, which is incredibly flattering). Coming back from travelling this year, my self-esteem pretty much sky-rocketed as various friends commented on how good I was looking and, for once, I could see it. I also received flattering comments from random internet people, which was lovely, too. Overall these days, I am incredibly happy with the way I look - I have my off days, like everyone, but they're much rarer now.
Oddly, though, my improved self-image has not led to much of an increase in confidence with the ladies. These days when girls are looking at me, I tend to assume that they may well find me attractive (in fact, sometimes my ego is ridiculous in this regard). However, I'm not all that confident with approaching girls - I know I can be interesting and fun, but I'm also crap at idle chit-chat and am uncomfortable approaching girls I don't know because I feel pretty creepy doing so. On top of this, I have a horrible habit of falling for close friends, which I rarely actually act upon as I know how horribly awkward it can be when a good friend suddenly tells you they're into you and you don't feel the same. I also tend to go for quieter, more retreating girls as I struggle with spending long amounts of time with louder, more intense people. The Catch-22, though, is that as a guy who does not approach girls very often, I only really get to know ones who approach me, and these tend to be, by their very nature, the louder, more intense type.
So, yeah, I'm my self-image is great. My ability with girls, however, still needs some work.
Also, I started going grey at 17 and I think it's fucking awesome. In my family it's either premature greying or premature balding, and I know which I prefer!
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I also received flattering comments from random internet people, which was lovely, too.
I think I might have been one of those people!
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The Catch-22, though, is that as a guy who does not approach girls very often, I only really get to know ones who approach me, and these tend to be, by their very nature, the louder, more intense type.
i have the exact same problem. You are not alone!
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Oh man, I am glad people are interested in the thread; the topic has been running through my head for a while.
Talking to Ben last night made me realise some thing about my self-image. I was part of a group of bitchy girls at high school (I was never super good at choosing nice friends on the first go, I did the same thing in primary school), who would basically compliment someone so they could laugh at them once they had gone. So in my head whenever someone I don't really know will say something nice to me, my first reaction is to deny it, because then I have ruined their cunning plan and the can't go talk about how much of a gullible loser I am.
A way I avoid that situation is to try and make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I went to a friend's photography exhibition recently and wore my hair out and deliberately looked "arty" (read: like a crazy cat lady) because I have known her for a looooong time and knew she'd get a kick out of it. However, the whole time I felt so obvious with my insane amount of hair curling out all around my head that I just wanted to tie it back and look a bit more generic, then people wouldn't notice me and talk shit about me to their friends about how weird I looked.
So in other words, I complain that no on noticed me, but at the same time I try and make myself as unnoticeable as I can. so hey, my head is screwed!
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I think I might have been one of those people!
Dicky is by far the hottest UK forumite. Probably top ten overall regardless of nationality.
Lil' bastard.
As flattered as I am, are you basing this off the one photo of me without a beard in the hair advice thread? Because while I won't deny that I am a fairly attractive fellow, that was an incredibly flattering photo of me.
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I see myself in so many of these posts, it's scary.
I was the awkward, friendless kid in middle school, with straight A-plusses and music geekery serious enough to ostracize me even from the band geeks. I hung out on the periphery of a couple of social groups, and managed to be the object of a couple of crushes, which kept my sunny eleven-year-old mind from diving into the pit of self-loathing. Was being as happy with myself as I was despite my shyness and sometime-loneliness a sign of being well-adjusted? I'd like to think so, but maybe I was just delusional and a little bit egotistical.
At the end of middle school, I entered university early through a program populated by 150 teenagers at least as geeky as I was. Suddenly, social functions revolved around Monty Python and D&D, and getting As in classes was expected rather than derided. That year, I was the least physically attractive I've ever been (I had glasses and braces and I didn't know how to deal with my hair or my skin), but I suddenly had a bigger group of friends than ever, and a jam-packed social life kept me from dwelling too seriously on my physical failings.
Now, I've come to terms with my body (which has picked up some of the slack, thankfully), and I think I've come into my own socially, as well. My social awkwardness is limited to times in which I'm talking to my boss--I'll be damned if I can have one conversation with her that doesn't end with me trailing off into ums and ers, but around most people I'm friendly and outgoing. Physically, as at least a few people have mentioned, a significant other who thinks you're hot shit can do wonders for your self-image. I happened to be standing with him the other day in front of a mirror with my shirt off, and I found myself going through my mental I-hate-my-body routine. I turned away from the mirror to try to quiet my negative self-talk, but my boy grabbed me and said, apropos of nothing (can he read my mind? I'm starting to wonder), "You're the cutest thing ever," and made me turn back to the mirror (after a kiss). "Look at that!" How can I argue with someone whose opinion I respect so deeply?
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As flattered as I am, are you basing this off the one photo of me without a beard in the hair advice thread? Because while I won't deny that I am a fairly attractive fellow, that was an incredibly flattering photo of me.
That and the one of you with a beard. If you're that good looking in two pictures you can't be very bad looking.
Also this calls for more pictures. Go.
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Can I jump on the creepy parade too? Cause dude is damn hot, beard or not.
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I wish I could grow a beard like his, though I wouldn't say my lack of ability to affects my self-esteem.
I've recently discovered that I am a lot more extroverted than I used to pretend I was. This probably stems from my self-esteem issues - I've been overweight for around ten years now (since around middle school). I also decided at some point to grow my hair out, and considering I was overweight and had long hair, I looked a little androgynous throughout middle school. That eventually faded, but given my already-nerdy status and looks, I mostly hung out with other nerdy folks.
The addition of a significant other (now fiancée) has really drastically helped my self-esteem, but I'm still working on becoming more social.
Things have changed pretty significantly in college, more so this (sophomore) year than last. I'm hanging out with classmates as well as nerdy folks, am joining a fraternity (for engineers, architects, and scientists), and decided just this last Thursday to cut the hair (and donated it to Locks of Love). Now I seem like just a regular dude who's a little fat, and it's starting to bother me - I feel like I should go ruin my appearance somehow, or at least get a tattoo or something.
I guess my biggest concern is my skin - I don't have the best skin in the world thanks to genetics, and I worry about it a lot. If I could get over that and drop some weight, I'd be on the way to healthy self-esteem, I guess.
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I am a dude, and I am heterosexual, but I can still get lost for several minutes in pictures of men that I find attractive. This effect has so far only been brought on by our good man here and certain pictures of Jim (http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/Jim_Morrison.jpg) Morrison (http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:FeQ6qgaIeQxRyM:http://bp0.blogger.com/_A5qhnmd_hog/RhQ2weLl6vI/AAAAAAAAAsc/yLLL7rW4jRY/s400/thedoorstop2.jpg). I do not intend this to sound creepy (though it probably will) but dude, you are seriously good looking.
I've always wondered if that is somekind of proxy narcissim. Like a projection of our own desires for our own physical appearances.
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I think I might have been one of those people!
Dicky is by far the hottest UK forumite. Probably top ten overall regardless of nationality.
Lil' bastard.
I have not seen these pictures. Link please?
Okay, now I am going to attempt to give this thread a shot, since it is a very good thread. I am pretty happy with my body at this point in my life! I have always been reasonably skinny (some say I am a skinny fuck like Patrick but I think he is a bit skinnier than I am) and I believe I am reasonably attractive. However, I also think that I cannot adequately judge myself in any way really and I kinda rely (sp?) on the opinions of other people I care about to fully create my self image. However, I have had ladies I am attracted to tell me I am cute and that totally helps!
However, I have not always had a positive self image. Ever since kindergarten, I was the weird freaky kid for whatever reason and was always picked on. That made me feel that I was always inadequate in about every way and I thought I was ugly or just not fun to be around with. It was like that till about the end of middle school, where I finally started to get along with people who I was not close friends with. However, my freshmen year in high school was a fucking disaster. I go to private school, so I was with practically a entirely new batch of people. However, I do think was a terribly anoying person my freshman year and didn't get along with any of these people and my self image was simply wretched and I was convinced I was just terrible all around. I got better, personality wise, my sophomore year and began finally making friends. It really wasn't till that (read: last) summer that I really became sure of myself, both physically and socially. I started going out with this girl and that really helped me become more sure of myself. Due to my past treatment, I kind of have developed a "If they have a problem with me, fuck 'em" attitude towards the people I am not close to. I am not sure if this is at all beneficial but whatever, its who I am right now.
I would delve more into my personality thing but that is not what this thread is really about, it is about how you feel about your physical self. Again, physically I am quite satisfied. I have a decent haircut (i think?), am decently good looking, skinny enough, and actually I have very nice eyes. The only real complaint I have is that I am terribly out of shape. I really should go about changing this but I am just not motivated enough and I really have to desire to become muscular.
I feel like I got nowhere with this post but I wrote it so its going up. BLEH
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I'm pretty happy with the way I am. I could do with a more toned physique, especially in the upper body area, but other than that I have very few genuine complaints.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v12/sademie/hahahahohwow.jpg)
this is what i'd look like in the matrix
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As long as I am active, I'm pretty happy with myself. Right now I have some tummy pudge and I wish I was more toned, but I'm training for a half-marathon, so that's going to change. I've been back into running for about six weeks, and I can definitely tell the difference already. The most obvious thing is my skin. Breaking a sweat three or four times a week seems to improve my complexion remarkably.
My main complaint with my body has more to do with clothes than anything. I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl, but I'm too curvy to look really good in most t-shirts. Most are snug in some places and baggy in others, and look quite weird on me.
I think I'm happiest with the things I have control over. It is nice if someone thinks I'm good looking, but looks are largely genetic and I really wish they weren't so important. Like a lot of people have said, I do things to improve (in my opinion) what I have. I like my style. I have a haircut that suits me, I am really happy with my piercings, and I'm finally putting together a decent wardrobe. (For a while I had basically two outfits that weren't stained or ripped. I was a total ragamuffin.) This kind of stuff, along with keeping myself in shape, is what I feel good about.
Tangent/Rant: on more than one occasion, I've had a total stranger ask me "why would a pretty girl like you put that thing through your lip/do that to your ears/dye your hair that color/etc?" It's a horribly backhanded compliment, if it's even a compliment. Why do people think it's okay to say things like this? I don't go up to random people and say "You know, you might be better looking if you got a different haircut or worked out more." WTF?
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First of all I laughed at that for five straight minutes, so loud that my brother came down to see what I was laughing at and ended up just walking away and shaking his head in disgust. I've got the midnight crazies. But on to self esteem and why mine is incredibly low.
I'm not sure if I was around for the last thread on it, but basically ever since I was a kid I've been a bit of a butterball. In elementary school I was the fattest kid in all of my grades and it wasn't until around middle school where I began to even out due to my height increasing faster than I could gain weight. I was picked on for this kind of thing mercilessly, and just when I thought I was starting to look better in 8th grade I got glasses due to my swiftly degrading vision. Basically I just never tried to look good, because I felt that I never could look good, and I didn't dwell on it that much. I learned to stick with the friends I could get like superglue, and ignore or stay away from the people who would cause problems for me. This continued all through high school.
Now for a picture from my junior year, around the time when other people are starting to go out on serious dates and get with the smoochin'.
(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/Wildkyn/philyearbookphoto.jpg)
That is my Junior Year picture from High School, Spring 2005. If you can tell, The poofy hair, the grandpa glasses, the double chin and the absolutely horrifying gaping smile, not to mention the round face and underneath that head is a body that is at least 200 pounds. In fact the only thing about myself at that time that I could take pride in was the fact that I had hella perfect skin, I mean, not a blemish on it. This may sound wierd but keep in mind that my two best friends had rather bad acne, with one friend whose acne was so bad he had to carry bandages around when his face started bleeding. But he is a talented guy, he is one of the best trumpet players I have ever met, and he's really smart. In fact, despite the glasses I was never the smart one in my group of friends. I had friends who wanted to go to college to be chemists, mathmeticians, and one of my best friends was a good looking mother fucker with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes and still managed to be the smartest guy I've ever met, certifiable genius. And there I am making C's on average in most of my classes, which may or may not come from extreme amounts of procrastination. So even among my friends I'm usually not taken seriously as a person on their level of intellectual power.
Here is me from a much more recent picture (couple of weeks ago Spring 2008):
(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/Wildkyn/phil.jpg)
There are some improvements here. Glasses that fit my face, shorter haircut, and I never smile with my mouth open in a picture if I can help it. But I'm still overweight and out of shape, and at an all-time high in weight, my head is shaped like a honeypot from the 100 acre wood, and my senior year of high school I started developing pretty bad acne on my chest and shoulders and some on my face, just when I thought puberty was all over. Not to mention the move my senior year of high school to a new state with zero friends at graduation, that didn't help the self-esteem at all. I'm still recovering from high school, I think I'm better, and that I look better, but not by much. I've only ever been on one date and that was literally this semester about a month ago, and it didn't go well. I didn't know what to do, and even if I thought the girl really had any sort of attraction towards me, I can't see my self from a sexual perspective, my mind is not wired for that. I can't see how anyone could ever find me attractive, since literally no one has ever looked at me in that way.
So in conclusion, dear blog thread...
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Tangent/Rant: on more than one occasion, I've had a total stranger ask me "why would a pretty girl like you put that thing through your lip/do that to your ears/dye your hair that color/etc?" It's a horribly backhanded compliment, if it's even a compliment. Why do people think it's okay to say things like this? I don't go up to random people and say "You know, you might be better looking if you got a different haircut or worked out more." WTF?
I have that problem with my weight. People will always go "You're so skinny!", as if it is an achievement, but if I went and said "Man, you are huge!" I'm pretty sure people would get offended. That and I kept getting comments on my nose ring, the whole "You've got something on your nose there". Am I supposed to not have noticed the bit of metal through my nose? how is it different to the two rings in my ears?
In other words, people are stupid.
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Alright, to answer this thread seriously:
I'm quite alright with how I look right now. I don't much like my height, since I'm semi-short (5'6"-7"), but I'm very well built and skinny without being frail, this being owed somewhat to the fact that I work out at the local Y at least thrice a week, and so have biceps that are noticeable without being overly bulky, and I have well defined abs and pectorals. I really, really don't like my nose. I have a very Roman nose, to say the least (despite the fact that I've not a blood of Italian in me, and am more French than anything.) It's too big, frankly, and the left side is somewhat larger than the right, though it's not noticeable from anyone else's perspective. In fact, that's also true of my chin--the left side of it is just a tad larger than the right. This is due to the fact that, as a child, I would huddle up on the far left side of my bed, and dig the right side of my face into the sheets, and lay there with the right side of my nose and chin pressed hard against the bed, which, as a very little kid, hindered the bone growth in those two areas. But like I said, no one else has ever noticed it except me and my doctor, and when I've asked people who I trust if they've noticed it, their reaction is generally "what the hell are you talking about," so it's not a huge deal.
What I'm most complimented on, however, is my eyes, and I'm extremely proud of them. If there's one thing that I'm vain about, that's what it is. I have wonderful, green/blue/teal eyes that are in a sunburst pattern, with a golden ring around the pupils, which always seem to be large and inviting without appearing unnaturally dilated.
So, yeah, I like how I look presently (Oddly appealing is probably the best way to describe it. Not 'hot' in any conventional sense of the word, but attractive in an attention-getting way. That's how I've had it described to me, and it's what I've witnessed.)
Of course, as a youngster, I didn't look like this. In 4th grade-6th, I was somewhat chubby. Not fat, but pudgy; extra weight. My haircut during this period--well, really, until freshman year of highschool--was atrocious. Far too short for the frame of my face and jawline. I was horribly socially awkward from 4th to 7th grade, which was based in low-level depression/anxiety that I never brought up to anyone because I figured that was just me, was just how I was, and there was nothing to do about it. This of course took my focus off of interacting with other people, who in turn saw me as weird and unfit to hang out with (among the "popular" kids, at least.) So this just added to my self-esteem problems and furthered my anxiety issues. After a massive breakdown in the summer of 7th grade, I finally got those looked at and started to get help for them, and almost immediately my demeanor changed, as did the way I physically carried and handled myself, and within a few months, girls who would never have even looked at me before suddenly wanted to be my lab partner all the time. Still, no one complimented me on my looks or anything, not that I was expecting them to. I figured I just wasn't all that physically attractive.
But in high school, I started dressing with my own sense of what was style and fashion and let my hair grow out, and was subsequently told by all kinds of girls I'd never seen before in my life what I was "cute" "hot stuff" etc. I didn't really know how to take that at first. But after being asked out on dates by very attractive women who other people were trying to get with like mad, including hella popular jocks, I started to realize that I may not be too rough on the eyes after all. So I started taking care of the way I look more in general, learning some basic rules of fashion and such.
Maybe it seems like I have a big head? I don't, really. I know full well that I'm not eye candy (nor would I want to be, honestly.) I'm certainly nothing to marvel at. But I'm content with the way I look, and I get plenty of glances and girls going "tee-hee, we made eye contact" in the hallways and on the streets.
tl;dr - ugly duckling becomes fairly attractive duckling.
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I can't see how anyone could ever find me attractive, since literally no one has ever looked at me in that way that I've noticed.
Seriously, I know it's hard to believe unless you have someone telling you they find you attractive outright, but as was mentioned earlier in the thread, there is always someone who finds even your least favourite features attractive, and there will have been girls (and probably guys!) who have looked at you in that way, even if they've never said anything. You are a suave-looking guy, and based on the second picture, you know how to play to your strengths, looks-wise - you dress pretty well, have great glasses for your facial structure, and awesome hair, plus you are a generally very handsome man.
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See, that is what has frustrated me so much. If people are interested in me, they should have just made it more obvious! People have no idea how much it can affect how someone looks at themselves. Sometimes it's the little things that make a difference.
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I agree, on principle, and especially when it applies to me - I would love for everyone who finds me attractive to compliment me for it, but I also feel slightly hypocritical because I know I very rarely do the same for people I find attractive. Hell, I'm rubbish at it. One of my best friends is, as far as I'm concerned, one of the prettiest people I've ever met, and yet I've never really told her so, in two years of friendship - if I'm that bad at communicating this stuff with friends, imagine what it's like with strangers!
On a somewhat related note, my flatmate has a tendency to be incredibly upfront about this kind of thing and good god it pays off. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of his book.
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I often think I look like a tramp, but I can't pick out what's causing it, because people don't say things like 'iron your shirt' or 'shave' to me as often as they really should. This causes conflict, as I want people to be critical about my appearance, I don't have any experience when it comes to dressing myself, so advice is always appreciated. I feel like I 'owe' the same to everybody else. Unfortunately, not everybody appreciates "get a haircut" as much as I do. Perhaps some lessons in how to be tactful are in order?
I know very little about how to dress myself, but I'm grateful for this rather shallow guy I met back in college taking me to one side and being totally honest with me about the way I dressed. He explained a little about my body shape and why the clothes I had were the total opposite of the clothes that I should have had. As I mentioned previously, I'm small. Forumers who've met me will vouch for that. at the time I was wearing baggy trousers that dragged along the floor, t-shirts that didn't fit, and this really old, distressed and faded brown corduroy jacket. I didn't take care of my hair at all and it adopted a straw-like appearance. I probably looked like a homeless man that had been hit with a shrink ray while my clothes stayed the same size. He explained that baggy jeans were terrible, that I was too skinny for tight jeans to look good, and that form fitting, slightly loose jeans would be flattering to my appearance. He explained that certain colours never go together, such as red and green, and that your clothes should all be about the same 'fit'. That you can't wear tight pants and a loose fitting t-shirt, or it would just look silly. He also explained that curtains looked silly and suggested a haircut.
I'm still remarkably poor. So, I don't have too many clothes. I have maybe one flattering outfit, and most of my clothes are the wrong colour. I don't know what the 'right' colours are. I'm still not great at dressing myself, but at least now I know how to get clothes that fit. This helped a great deal when it came to my self image regarding my physical appearance.
Obviously, it's wrong to say things to people like "you'd be prettier if you had a different nose". But when it comes to minor things that are easily fixed, such as how to better dress yourself, I think criticism regarding your physical appearance is just as important as the occasional compliment.
I'd like to suggest an experiment for people who aren't sure about the way they dress. Strip to your underwear and take a well lit photo of you posed like a dress up doll. Make cut outs of your clothes, find things from magazines and play dress-up with yourself. Try all kinds of styles and colours. It's a good way to get an idea of what looks good on you.
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I've used photoshop to see what I'd look like with different haircuts too. Is that also insane? I don't see how making a digital dress-up doll of me is really all that different.
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It'd be a lot easier and more effective to just go to a clothes shop and try some different things on. Playing dress-up with yourself is a bit pointless since you can't tell how the clothes would actually fit you at all.
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there is always someone who finds even your least favourite features attractive
THIS.
People assume that they have to look like Barbie to be attractive (or Ken, if you're male)(or want to be male) but actually mostly it doesn't work like that. I've never been attracted to anyone who's "hot" in the traditional sense, and yesterday I overheard a conversation between two guys which basically went "Do you think so-and-so is hot?" "No, she's too thin" "Yeah, I know what you mean". So being really skinny with perfect hair doesn't make you more attractive, it just makes you boring.
Although having said that, plenty of people who are very skinny with perfect hair are very attractive. Just not my type.
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I once overheard a group of guys talking about a girl I knew. She was older than I was at the time, but the conversation went something like...
"Hey, would you do _____?"
"Yes."
"Yeah"
"Yes."
"What about _____?"
"Mmm...no. She looks about 8."
"I know what you mean."
"Man, that's part of the appeal."
"Dude what?"
"I mean...uh...she has a cute face? She...it...I..."
*everybody all at once*
"Dude!"
She was striking, but her tiny frame, big eyes and perfect skin made her look much younger than she actually once.
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What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
There's 20 of 'em.
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The one with the gag on looks just like you.
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It'd be a lot easier and more effective to just go to a clothes shop and try some different things on.
This is far from the truth! Effective, probably, I suppose it depends on what shops you have around and what range they have. Easier, definitely not for everyone. The two most difficult things in the world for me are getting haircuts and buying clothes. Well buying clothes from a shop that you have to walk into and see what they have and how it will fit and so on. I can buy clothes from the internet easily. I suppose I can buy jeans because I just read the tag on the back of the pair that I am wearing and go and find the exact type. There are no descisions to be made and no consequences of these descisions. I can't think of a proper rational reason why this is so hard, especially when I know that I would look better in new clothes or with any haircut that a trained hairdresser could throw at me, but it's a real issue and plays hell with my blood pressure.
Photoshop is pretty much the best option for me, though then I freak out about people stumbling on the pictures or hearing the clack of my camera shutter. Whatever, I can hardly afford a haircut right now anyway.
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If people are interested in me, they should have just made it more obvious!
It was only in college that girls were obvious enough for me to actually notice. Like, in hs this one girl called me frequently by the nickname "Sexy," and after a semester of that I still didn't get that she was actually into me and not just kidding around. I was truly, truly oblivious.
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I feel great about myself. Sure there are some doubts sometimes but in general i get enough girls to realize I'm great. Thank you God for this luck.
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Oh Joseph Hocking, you are an adorable man.
As for your's truly, I fluctuate from subtle indifference to sheer and utter self-hatred. Sometimes I'm like "yah, I probably look alright right now" to nit-picking everything. Hair, skin, nose, lips, stomach, tits, arms, butt, legs, all thoroughly disgusting me. I live though, mostly due to not really talking about it. Still getting used to the occasional person finding me physically enticing, mostly due to those stereotypically unappealing early teen years. Whatever, though, I work that shit out with being somewhat interesting to talk to and quasi-charming. Seems to garner me some respect.
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I think I clean up pretty well. That is, I look okay if I am shaven and my hair is done right. I am pretty vain, though, so I check my hair and stuff pretty often.
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I'm not really sure about my body. I like my arms and my legs and I tan really easily which is a total bonus. I'm shorter than all of my friends (the male ones anyway). I was quite disappointed when everybody grew taller than me, but after a while I got used to it and I don't really mind any more. People don't think of me as small either, even when I'm standing next to people that are roughly the same height as me people will think I'm taller. I fluctuate between having quite long hair and having really short hair. When I have long hair I think it's a good idea but as soon as I get it cut off I realize how much nicer it is to have short easy to manage hassle free hair. I also look surprisingly different when have long hair to the extent that when I get it all shaved off people I don't know particularly well won't recognize me. One thing I have noticed is that people treat you with more respect when you have short hair. I'm a wee bit podgy ( I'm 5ft 7 and weigh 12st or 76kg or 168lb) but I'm also quite stocky so it doesn't show to badly and I am in a reasonably fit state. Overall I'm pretty happy with the way my body looks, could loose a bit of podge off of my stomach but that would only be necessary if I was to be whipping my top off all the time in public. One thing I don't like too much about my face is my nose, I'm quite critical of noses and I reckon mine is pretty shit. On the other hand my eyes have been complimented before which is nice.
I don't really care what I wear, as long as it doesn't looks stupid, is impractical or uncomfy then I'm happy. People are sometimes like "wear something smarter" but most have given up realizing that it would just be a bit stupid if I was to wear "smart" clothing. I'm not sure if my face and overall appearance is attractive or not, and I'm not exactly a ladies man but I don't really mind all that much, a couple of people I know seem to think that pulling at a party or having a girlfriend is the most important thing there is. I think its a bit silly as most of these relationships are just meaningless, its good to have a little fun now and then but probably not fantastic in the long run. Some days I worry quite a lot that I am wrong in being so uncaring about my appearance but that feeling goes away pretty quickly.
VANITY
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To add to my rant before, I really dislike my nose. I think it's just too big for my face.
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Still getting used to the occasional person finding me physically enticing, mostly due to those stereotypically unappealing early teen years. Whatever, though, I work that shit out with being somewhat interesting to talk to and quasi-charming. Seems to garner me some respect.
See, I'm boring as shit to talk to and I'm not exactly OMG *FAPFAPFAP* material, but I don't care, because damn it, I play lots of instruments.
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Patrick will serenade you with his guitar and make you forget all about his appearance.
(oh snap.)
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"Hey baby, I can 5 Star Knights of Cydonia on expert"
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Guys, I'm pretty awesome.
I'm fairly sure of this. I have few flaws:
Nasty keloid scar on my chest. Weak upper body. I want better clothes.
Otherwise? Fucking awesome.
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...I play lots of instruments.
man, i wish you could serenade chicks with the drums...i would be totally set.
unfortunately, the intro to "Painkiller" doesn't exactly say "i'm attracted to you."
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I think it would work on the right girl. Try it out sometime!
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It was only in college that girls were obvious enough for me to actually notice. Like, in hs this one girl called me frequently by the nickname "Sexy," and after a semester of that I still didn't get that she was actually into me and not just kidding around. I was truly, truly oblivious.
Joe, you think that's bad? Rachel practically had her tongue in my mouth before I got the hint. Seriously, it was like half an hour later before I put it together.
/make out make out make out
"Wait a minute...maybe this girl likes me..."
I also had an occasion in High School where I was hanging out with my friend Dave and some girl we barely knew. She, at one point, says "I like pale, skinny guys with dark hair." Meanwhile, I'm sitting there oblivious while my friend Dave is just staring at me with a "why you so dumb" look on his face. I didn't piece THAT one together for another week.
I think I clean up pretty well. That is, I look okay if I am shaven and my hair is done right. I am pretty vain, though, so I check my hair and stuff pretty often.
This, to an extent. I look ridiculous if I shave, but I clean up really well in the sense that I look fucking good dressed up. It's almost a tragedy that I work in a casual dress work environment. My last job was business casual (Button down, tie, dress pants) and I was most assuredly the most attractive guy on my shift (It didn't hurt that I was one of only three guys under 35 and the other ones were like 5'2" or had a really busted face).
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I think it would work on the right girl. Try it out sometime!
Seriously. You are obviously trying this on girls who are far too boring, SWM.
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It would totally work on me.
Not that I'm suggesting anything...
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I've never had a huge problem with my self image. Its not that I've always been comfortable with the way I look, but the time I wasnt comfortable it never made unhappy enough to want to change it.
So in High School I was skinny as a rake and about 5'9/10", with mad hair down to my chin. I have always though of myself having a big nose - part inherited from my Dad and part me dropping 7 foot from a tree and landing face first on concrete aged 9. But I have really good bright blue eyes to make up for it.
Here is me aged 16.
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a141/blanktom/thomyearbook.jpg)
5 years later, I am still pretty nonchalant about my face, and I've grown to a good 6'ish now, but I have put on a fair bit of weight. I'm still not overweight, but it is looming and i have developed an unsightly belly and terrible jowls/double chin. These are things I am working on at the gym. However, some of the extra weight is muscle, as I had a succession of hard going jobs after school which helped me shape a pretty good physique.
And I am also 100% with the idea that having someone to help you feel attractive can be key when it comes to body image.
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It would totally work on me.
i'd play an off-beat for you anytime.
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Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?
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If any of you fuckers play "Moby Dick" for her before I get the chance to, I will shove a pair of nylon-tipped 2Bs up your ass.
ON FIRE.
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There's always Skype, dear Patrick.
It's a race to serenade me!
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That's right, bitches, she's already calling me 'dear.' Y'all have some catching up to do.
How come every time I threaten to shove music-related things up people's asses, it always serves as a pagebreaker?
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Last night I was at my school gymnasium for an hour. I had 10 minute meetings with all my teachers, just the teacher, my mum and I. all told my mum how fantastic and smart I am and how I have a lot of potential.
Naturally I should feel all happy and have a positive self-image but I don't because I feel that I'll never meet their expectations and spent the whole night feeling incredibly anxious.
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I have a pretty bad Body Image. I've always seen myself as unattractive, bordering on ugly.
I come from a good hearty stock of footballers(American), which should have helped me to get girls right? Of Course thanks to a fuck-up by medical people, I lost my hearing, and ended up becoming a book worm. Over time, my hearing has come back (to about 70% of normal) but the years of having my nose buried in a book caused me to develop round shoulders, which have straightened out over the past few years.
I've never really liked my face, thinking my nose doesn't fit with the rest of it. And my hair, gawd I hate my hair. It started out as straight blonde hair, and has mutated over the yeares to a curly brown mess. And I hate the shitiest skin. My dad is really dark, the embdiment of "Black Irish", and I have no pigment in my skin (minor exageration). I practically go from white to red as soon as I step into the sun.
I use to be in good shape. Weight lifted three times a week, and would bike to school and work. of course a hectic school and work sechdeule the last year has casued me to stop doing that, and I've gained 20 lbs, which I desperately want to lose.
I have had some girls hit on me with comments like "I think tall, pale guys are sexy" and other stuff. I laughed, and hollered out for one of my buddies, never believing hat they meant me.
For Self Image, I have always liked me, although I do have my fair share of D'oh moments. I'm pretty social once I get to know somebody, but shy before that. Duno why. You'd think Debating would have fixed some of that.
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And my hair, gawd I hate my hair. It started out as straight blonde hair, and has mutated over the yeares to a curly brown mess.
curly brown mess? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/Lapuz/me/meh.jpg) I challenge you to a hair-off, mister!
Actually guys, I've been in a pretty bad mood about my body lately, and kind of hoped this thread would help me feel a bit better. I didn't really, but for some reason I'm feeling good about myself today! Though I am kind of confused as to how people can not know what colours suit themselves. There have been occasions where I have found out that colours look good on me, but it is not as if I went for bright orange clothes thinking it would make me look good. However, I do know that if I am going to wear one colour that not everything will go with it, and should take that into consideration.
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And my hair, gawd I hate my hair. It started out as straight blonde hair, and has mutated over the yeares to a curly brown mess.
curly brown mess? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/Lapuz/me/meh.jpg) I challenge you to a hair-off, mister!
At least your hair grows down. Mine grows up and out.
(Will edit this post for a picture later tonight.)
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As it tends to get a little more personal then I'd like to talk about, I've had a really rough time of it with my self-image. To a point where I was in therapy for several years to get my eating habits under control as far as weight goes.
Though, now, I realize I have a hot body. Proportionally I'm very well built, height, weight, everything is good and well shaped.
But I still think I have a really strange face and I'm a total 'butterface' (nice body...'but her face' get it). But then again that might be from hang ups of being quite ugly in my preteen/early teens ( some features developped very quickly, others didn't)
EDIT:
I don't know if that came across as trying to snag compliments. I really didn't mean it as such, just honesty.
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agreed. Drill King is a pretty lady.
just try to dispute it.
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I didn't even notice how bad of a "Fishing for compliments" thread this ultimately comes off as.
Don't worry, I can counteract that by reiterating what hot shit I am.
Guys, I am hot shit.
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Guys, I am a shit.
You basically asked for that to happen, don't be surprised.
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I have my days when I feel good about myself.
generally, the rest of the time, I focus on my imperfections and hate my body.
I do look so much better than this time a year ago, though. So at least I'm not as horrible as before.
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I have some self esteem issues, but they range from day to day. Most of the time I see myself in the mirror and say, "You are pudgy, but that is okay," often times saying exactly that in my best Dr. Phil impression.
I would love to lose a lot of weight, which is something I have been trying to pysch myself up and do, but so far it hasn't gotten past, "snack on healthier things." Since I am making money again I look forward to going to the gym more often, even having a workout buddy now that my friend is home from college. I would love to lose my potbelly, that is probably the thing that is messing me up the most when I look in the mirror.
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I will admit defeat for now. I do not have any photos with my hair out. And, I shaved my head last month, so, that hair isn't too bad yet.
But...
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2493390095/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2493390045/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2494208984/)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2493390095/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2493390045/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21372247@N06/2494208984/
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A confidence booster:
I've been given a $16,000 scholarship to college next year for my singing voice. It's the biggest one they give out, and over 500 people auditioned for it. Also, the song I wrote for AP Music Theory was played as a demonstration of how to do it right.
When I'm recognized for my musical accomplishments, it makes me feel ace.
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That's fucking rad, man. Congratulations!
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I feel absolutely awesome about myself. A girl at the Renfest thought I was cute as fuck.
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I was gonna hop on this thread last night, but instead played Pokemon (Fuck you Pokemon thread) and now it feels like I'm late to the party. I'll give it a try anyway.
For most of my life I've been overweight, somewhere between the ages of 5-7 it started, this continued until I was 18 in 2006 which was also when I was at my heaviest at 114kg ( 250 pounds?). Around the end of '06 I decided I'd had had enough and wanted a change, so I changed my eating habits and started some minimal exercise with working out 20 mins a day, skip forward a year I'd lost 50kg (110 pounds), now weighing 64kg ( 140 pounds). That was end of last year and I've managed to gain a few kg so I'm currently between 66kg-67kg, which isn't too bad compared to what I have been in the past, right now I'm going to the gym for an hour four times a week trying to keep my weight down. Something I've come to realize is that no matter how much I weigh and change my body shape I'm pretty much never going to be happy with my body/self image since the main problem is that I have really low self esteem and I find it hard to feel good about myself, no matter how much I look good.
What others have said about it being easier having someone who loves you no matter what is completely true. During the year I lost all my weight I had, and still have, an amazing girlfriend who said she found me attractive either way, which really does help a fuck load. Before her I had the total of two girls tell me I was attractive and even then I didn't believe them just because I was that down on myself. Having someone telling you constantly how good you look lessens my crazy, but I doubt I'll ever be 100% pleased with myself.
As a kid I was bullied, and then add the low self esteem, I've become pretty socially retarded. I've always had friends and I find it really easy to make them too. The friends I have now are pretty much the greatest guys who I've known for a long time, but the thing with me is that I tend to distance myself from people, for some reason. I really hate this aspect of myself since I do it all the time.
Apperance wise I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. Since I was overweight for most of my teenage years I had long hair, to try and detract from my fatness. My hair's curly and when it gets long it goes from curly to fuckshit insane frizzy and goes out rather than down, so I looked like a right twat. It was only November last year that I had my first haircut in 5 years. Infact I had a haircut today and got it really short, I think I look rather good. Also, I have a beard. Which I attribute to my dad having a beard, Sam Beam having a beard, a number of fantasy characters having beards and a good way of hiding a fat face. Now I just like having it because I think it makes me look 10x better than I would without it. I got it trimmed today too, so it's not as long and scraggly looking. All in all, right now I look and feel good. I'm having one of my good days.
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probably when i go shopping for clothes is when i feel worst about my self image. damn you tall skinny people
-from a short stumpy person
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I'm the loud obnoxious type. My personality makes up for my physical flaws. I was chubby and a bit overweight growing up. Then I became douchebaggingly confident, got all the hot ladies. A total smarmosaurus, if you will. And then I lost some weight except for my beer belly.
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When I'm recognized for my musical accomplishments, it makes me feel ace.
I will give you mad props if you prove it. Post a sample of your lovely voice in the Raise Your Voices thread! I think we all want to hear it now. Pretty please?
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But I still think I have a really strange face and I'm a total 'butterface' (nice body...'but her face' get it).
Thank you, Drill King! I've seen that expression so many times, but never understood it.
And I hope you don't mind me saying, but you have a very nice face. No butter about it.
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CAREFUL ORBERT OLDER GUYS AREN'T ALLOWED TO COMPLIMENT YOUNGER LADIES ROUND THESE PARTS
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Define "older."
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Having been alive longer.
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Joe Hocking is definitely "older."
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In highschool I hated my body, I'm sure every girl did. Now I love it though, I think I'm pretty hot.
I have an overbite still, after years of braces, which I hate. and stretch marks on my thighs from when I got a bit chunkier in highschool. But now I'm quite fit 5'9ish 125 pounds. I work out occassionally, not as much as I should, but I have an incredible metabolism which lets me eat pretty much anything I want.
I have a skin condition called psoraisis which causes me to break out in big red spots on my torso and limbs and sometimes scalp, when I stress out usually. From what I've researched my case seems pretty mild, and the spots usually go away with a few days treatment, so I dont stress about it much. I dont really feel its any worse than having acne.
Other than that I'm basicly tall, long blond hair, blue-green eyes, big smile and winning personality. I have very fair skin so I only lightly tan in the summer, but I get lots of freckles, I think they're super cute. I get hit on pretty often, and my current relationship has really done wonders for my confidence.
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Man, stretch marks! I had a few of these, not very noticable, from when I was a chubby pre-teen, but then when I started playing hockey they just SPRANG into existence all down the inside of my thighs. Does anyone know how to get rid of them without surgery? I hate them very much.
Other than that I'm not too fussed about my appearance, I figure being really hot wouldn't help me one jot if I was a horrible person, and if I am then no one will like me anyway, and since people do like me then I'm not, and who cares what I look like?
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Barmymoo, I've heard that cocoa butter and vitamin E works. That's what most pregnant women use on their bellies. Otherwise I'd peek around at your local shop for things designated for stretch marks, I know they exist.
If that doesn't work, they fade with age so I wouldn't stress.
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In highschool I hated my body, I'm sure every girl did.
i guess i'm in the extreme minority here, but i am a girl that has never had a problem with her body. i've always been skinny, but not to the point of looking unhealthy. and i don't want my breasts to be any bigger or smaller than they currently are.
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Joe Hocking is definitely "oldest."
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I have an incredible metabolism which lets me eat pretty much anything I want.
Careful with that, it's a double-edged sword. Y'see, my body is the same way, and I'm in the middle of changing my lifestyle. I don't exercise, like, at all, unless you count walking a lot since I live in a city and don't have a car. I mostly hear people refer to losing weight as a reason to exercise, and since I don't need to control my weight I've not felt any need to exercise. Until recently that is; as I get older I'm becoming increasingly aware of how important regular exercise is to health, so I've been strongly considering joining a health club with a pool so that I can start swimming again (I was a varsity swimmer in highschool.)
I have a skin condition called psoraisis which causes me to break out in big red spots on my torso and limbs and sometimes scalp, when I stress out usually. From what I've researched my case seems pretty mild, and the spots usually go away with a few days treatment, so I dont stress about it much. I dont really feel its any worse than having acne.
I don't know if it's psoriasis specifically (seriously, no doctor has ever given me a straight answer) but I have a skin condition similar to what you describe. What my last dermatologist told me is that Selsun Blue clears it up (as in, lather it onto the spots.) Best advice I've gotten about the condition, since Selsun Blue definitely works and is way cheaper than going to a doctor and getting a prescription.
they fade with age so I wouldn't stress.
Well that's good to know, because I have a bunch of stretch marks and I haven't the faintest clue why. I mean, my body hasn't changed significantly in over a decade.
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Swimming is all kinds of good for you, it not only tones you up but also if you're swimming in chlorine I find it helps with spots and acne and stuff. Also it's fun! I don't swim anything like enough because it's hard to get to a pool from where I am (there is one near my college which I could use on Wednesday afternoons but I have driving lessons then at the moment). I shall take it up again when I leave.
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There's a health club literally across the street from me that I'm considering joining, but the membership fee is kinda high.
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Swimming is amazing. That's how I've been working out lately, because I like swimming and it's also really good for you. After I graduate, though, I'll have to find a decent gym off campus that has a lap pool, because swimming is really the only form of exercise I think is actually fun. Biking is another, but I like mixing the two.
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[img width= height=]http://www.freepatentauction.com/images_membres/715Daskao.JPG[/img]
Now you can!
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I see Honest Dski (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,18401.0.html) has put out the summer selection.
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...did they have to do that?
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CAREFUL ORBERT OLDER GUYS AREN'T ALLOWED TO COMPLIMENT YOUNGER LADIES ROUND THESE PARTS
I was being careful. I said I hope she doesn't mind. You know, like how you say "No offense, but..." right before you say something to offend somebody.
And what's this bullshit about Joe Hocking being the oldest? I'm older than him, and I'm not even the oldest.
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I went swimming today! I am so out of shape that I could only swim for half an hour, and now my arms are dead, but I exercised!
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i guess i'm in the extreme minority here, but i am a girl that has never had a problem with her body. i've always been skinny, but not to the point of looking unhealthy. and i don't want my breasts to be any bigger or smaller than they currently are.
I'm with you there to a degree. I never had a problem with it at school, because even before I lost any baby fat I had I was still ridiculously skinny (at one point I was perfectly healthy, but under the 45kg minimum weight limit for if I wanted to donate blood. This was when I was 15), but I was healthy and my friends would vouch that I ate more than they did. Now I get very antsy if I go under a certain weight, so while I could benefit from going to a gym and getting fitter I know from experience that I will probably lose weight quickly before the muscle mass takes up the slack and I get really uncomfortable in that period. That and I'm incredibly lazy.
Most things I don't like about myself on occasion (or at least like to complain about) are thing I can't change. I will never get any taller than I am now. I will not miraculously be able to bend my back properly (though maybe one day I will remember this and not bang my head on the seat in front of me at the movies when reaching for my bag). My wonky shoulders that no one notices are not going to get any less wonky. My big sticky-out ears will always be big and sticky-out. I know this, and don't hate these things about me, more that they irritate me on a fairly regular basis. It's like the yappy dog next door. It annoys you, but you're not going to go kill it; you deal with it and hope that one day you forget about it.
I was less concerned with my body when I was younger because I didn't really care. I made no effort, so it didn't matter whether I was pudgy or had bad skin or frizzy hair. After I started looking like a walking skeleton and had people starting to look at me making assumptions, I was more critical of how I looked and that is what has stuck, I guess.
Man, I like to talk in here, don't I?
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And what's this bullshit about Joe Hocking being the oldest? I'm older than him, and I'm not even the oldest.
I think you are just getting delirious in your moderate-yet-not-hockingingly age.
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Man, I'm vain, aren't I?
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I wish I was as pretty as Hannah.
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I used to consider myself a complete eyesore, but recently I went for a month without shaving, and after shaving again I feel a lot better about myself. There's nothing like dying a little inside every time you look in the mirror to make you appreciate what you look like normally. Now I'm basically of the opinion that if I were to slim down I would be quite the attractive individual.
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I wish I was as pretty as Hannah.
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I wish I was as pretty as Hannah.
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I hadn't realised how loose my Cadet uniform had got till I almost lost my pants calling the roll at admin parade. Yay dieting and exercise!
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But now I'm quite fit 5'9ish 125 pounds.
125 lbs?! that is how much i weigh :(
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Stop complaining, I'm 168lbs and shorter than him.
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But now I'm quite fit 5'9ish 125 pounds.
125 lbs?! that is how much i weigh :(
You forgot to mention your height. We require this information so that we may judge your physique.
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probably when i go shopping for clothes is when i feel worst about my self image. damn you tall skinny people
-from a short stumpy person
Damn you, short stumpy persons, for having all the pants made for your size.
Seriously, I'm 185cm (6 feet) tall, and weigh 65 kg (10,3 stone, 143 punds). The quest for pants is often lost.
I guess I feel kinda good about myself. I've got curls, and they are nice. ^^
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No pants are made for short stumpy persons! I have yet to find a pair of pants that actually fit me length-wise, after stopping using children's clothing. But I have befriended sports tape, because it is awesome for hemming pants that aren't jeans, and jeans I just have to fold up.. Which kind of sucks, but you get used to it.
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Try being a girl. Finding pants that are the right length, size, and fit butt/hips/thighs is not easy. Especially if you're not between 5'5" and 5'8". (I'm 5'10.)
(Ladybug posted before I could.)
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No pants are made for short stumpy persons! I have yet to find a pair of pants that actually fit me length-wise, after stopping using children's clothing. But I have befriended sports tape, because it is awesome for hemming pants that aren't jeans, and jeans I just have to fold up.. Which kind of sucks, but you get used to it.
Can't you do as every teenage girl in this country and stuff your pants inside a pair of coloury, wollen socks, since that is sooo fashion?
How tall/short are you anyways?
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I'm about 161cm, but overweight, so that makes finding pants even more difficult. But even when I was more average weight, it was a bitch. And stuffing pants inside socks is for when riding a bike, imo, if absolutely necessary. I will never understand that "fashion"..
And I'm 21, and I have a feeling that isn't very fashionable for 21 year olds.
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We require this information so that we may judge you.
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I'm 6' 0" and like 135 lbs, I need to gain some weight.
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From wikipedia- "The word pound comes from the Latin word pendere, meaning "to weigh". The Latin word libra means "scales, balances" and it also describes a Roman unit of mass similar to a pound. This is the origin of the abbreviation "lb" for the pound."
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Man, I wish we would switch to metric. It would be confusing at first but it's so much more simple.
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We tried it once in the 70s. Didn't work out well.
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I don't mind metric except in reference to length and in cooking. The centimeter is way too fucking small a unit to be measuring people's height in, sorry. And I do not enjoy requiring a scale in my kitchen in order to measure things instead of just leveling it in a damn cup.
Fix those two things, and metric and I would be gravy.
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Try being a girl. Finding pants that are the right length, size, and fit butt/hips/thighs is not easy. Especially if you're not between 5'5" and 5'8". (I'm 5'10.)
(Ladybug posted before I could.)
Buh, no I'm 5'8 and I still have a hard time. I wear a size 2-4, but I'm taller than your average twiggy 14 year old, however 'long' sizes' are about two inches too long(Because they're meant for girls 5'10ish+)
I think that girls that are about 5'5, 120lbs have the best time. But then again, Jean shopping is stressful for every woman
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I don't mind metric except in reference to length and in cooking. The centimeter is way too fucking small a unit to be measuring people's height in, sorry. And I do not enjoy requiring a scale in my kitchen in order to measure things instead of just leveling it in a damn cup.
Fix those two things, and metric and I would be gravy.
But a cup is not very precise! A cup can be many different sizes, and what if you need like..8/10ths of a cup? And as for height, meters work fine as well. 1,61meters instead of 161cm, but both of them are nice, because they're more precise than feet and inches. Plus, people's heights aren't exactly the only thing measured length-wise.
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Dril, I was all :-o she must be anorexic until I remembered that in places that aren't the United Kingdom they size in small.
I'm around 5'3 and I'm maybe a bit bustier than most people my height but otherwise fairly average, and I'm a size 10-12.
Aren't cups, in terms of baking anyway, a specific size? And you have to buy them specially?
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You forgot to mention your height. We require this information so that we may judge your physique.
i'm a lot shorter than 5'9". i make tommy look tall, remember?
manda: centimeters are a lot easier than inches once you get used to them. 100 centimeters = 1 meter. easier to calculate than 12 inches = 1 foot.
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im 6'4 and about 13 stone. not as toned as i'd like, and i always find it difficult getting trousers (especially jeans) that fit me well. normally a bit too baggy around the waist in order to accomadate the right length
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I guess I just wish there were a commonly used term in the metric system, even if it were decimeters, to refer to something about a foot long. It's probably from growing up thinking in inches/feet, but I think the foot measure is very handy.
About jeans, I am 5'7" and about 135lbs, which leads me on neverending quests for the elusive size five long. If I DO find it, they always fit perfectly, but the chances of a store having any in stock are slim to none.
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I'm a metric girl but I measure height and weight in feet and stone. Also miles, because that is how it works over here on the Island of the United States of Europe.
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just wait until the space aliens get here and we have start learning their units of measurment too.
ALIEN: it's easy; there's 5 1/4 glorps to a zzzdok, and 17 zzzdoks makes up a fledspoorg
US: um fuck you.
actually, i wouldn't be surprised if aliens use the metric system too. it makes that much sense.
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Haven't you read Chocky? Aliens count differently, and don't understand our system at all.
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i haven't, but it sounds like maybe i should?
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actually, i wouldn't be surprised if aliens use the metric system too. it makes that much sense.
So, the French are Aliens.
The centimeter is way too fucking small a unit to be measuring people's height in, sorry.
Not only is it small, but it's more accurate :-o
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Dril, I was all :-o she must be anorexic until I remembered that in places that aren't the United Kingdom they size in small.
I'm around 5'3 and I'm maybe a bit bustier than most people my height but otherwise fairly average, and I'm a size 10-12.
Aren't cups, in terms of baking anyway, a specific size? And you have to buy them specially?
UK size it's about 4-6, but that's generally because like stated, I have a hard time finding clothes that fit, sometimes I need the size below whatever UK size 4 is(evidently the chart I'm looking at doesn't have it, it's 0 here) and other times I would need a UK size 8(which is 6 here)
Fashion/shoes/everyone should seriously put in some regulations on what sizes are what. There's no standard really.
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I am confused by all sizes and generally just buy the smallest one. Most of the time it works.
Anyway Manda! I was going to dispute your reasons for hating metric. We have: Tuh duh! The Metric Cup! It's not very different at all. I have been cooking for about ten years and only just bought my first set of kitchen scales. What is frustrating is getting recipes from the Internet and realising too late that it was an American recipe and all your carefully measured cups and tablespoons were slightly out. Bah.
Also I am 169cm and buggered if I remember what that is in feet.
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I'm 178cm, I'd be taller like my dad but my Mum is really really short. Also, my 13 year old brother, odds are the younger two as well are going to end up being taller than me. I actually was smarter than them at those ages, still am according to 2 different heads of department at my school.
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For all you American types:
169 cm is 66 inches
178 cm is 70 inches
13 stone is 182 lbs
Any others I missed?
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Guys, why isn't this thread talking about me at all as a paragon of basically being the perfect male?
Someone feed my ego. Feeeeeed.
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I guess I just wish there were a commonly used term in the metric system, even if it were decimeters, to refer to something about a foot long. It's probably from growing up thinking in inches/feet, but I think the foot measure is very handy.
Builders sometimes seem to work in units of 300mm (30cm) which they call a "metric foot". It's like in France and Germany, when buying food they may refer to 500g (1/2 kg) as a "pound" (well, as they're foreign, "pfund" etc).
Not only is it small, but it's more accurate
<pedant>It's not more accurate - it's more precise</pedant>
Paul
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Guys, why isn't this thread talking about me at all as a paragon of basically being the perfect male?
Someone feed my ego. Feeeeeed.
Sorry Ozy, you're not.... but this man is!
(http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/dirtyjobs/wallpaper/gallery/wp1_800.jpg)
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It all boils down to metres, you see? It makes sense! And the system is not based on the arm length of greasy-slicked-back-haired businessmen trying to lure off an extra foot of rope with long arms, like yours is. One metre is, according to science (we should all believe in science), 1⁄299,792,458 of a light-second. So if you really want to fuck with people, start giving up your height in light-seconds.
Oh sure it's based on the speed of light now.
Before that it was the krypton-86 atom
and before that it was a bar of platinum-iridium
and before that it was just a regular old platinum bar
and before that it was equal to one ten-millionth of the length of the Earth's meridian along a quadrant through Paris, that is the distance from the equator to the north pole
and before THAT it was equal to the length of a pendulum with a half-period of one second
I'll wait until they make up their minds.
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On the topic of body image, I think I've always been pretty realistic about how I see myself.
I think most of us care a lot about how other people see us. However, I don't think changing this is the solution to better self image. If people esteem you but you don't, you'll never be satisfied.
I like this thread, but most people who are insecure about their body image have the opportunity to find out that lots of others are in similiar situations and have different approaches to deal with it. That's why I want to contribute to a thread like this!
To be honest, when most people say "self image" they're more preoccupied by how they are perceived by other people. If other people like them/find them attractive, this leads to them believing this. But then the moment you lose that attention, you're prone to feeling shit about yourself.
In my opinion, the only way to really have a realistic {if not fantastic} self image is to know what you look like and care about it for your own sake. To actually care about how you look when you go out. This is pretty damn hard.
I am pretty pre-occupied sometimes about how people perceive me as a person. Not just my body, but my personality/character etc. I think the way I dress is important to be give the right impressions of me and also to draw attention to the right things. I'm pretty calculated in the way I dress/act in some respects. I know I look good in certain colours and clothing types, and I stick to them. I don't dress in certain ways because I know it gives an impression I don't want.
I'm pretty okay with my body mostly because I realised that it's the only one I got. Sometimes the rest of me gets me down, but I try not to indulge in self-pity because I could never be anyone else besides me even if I tried. Don't fuss over what you can't change.
All in all, I have gathered that appearing confident, well-dressed, self-assured, or polite all help in creating a really good impression. These things really help if you know that you don't have a smoking looks.
[hurrr serious post]
[edit: this is the only forum I'd feel comfortable posting seriously because I love you people]
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bless the uk and the mixing of systems. i think in cm i am about 190ish
1 inch= 2.5cm
1 foot= 30cm
1 yard= 90cm
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fatty is right, you have to care more about whether you're happy with yourself than whether other people like you.
I wear weird clothes, I know that, most of them were my mother's or are far too small because I've had them for years. But I know that it's because most of the money that would go on buying me new clothes goes to paying my brother's school fees and letting me go to Germany, so I'm not bothered. Also, I'd rather get an A in my exams than look pretty. There's this girl I know, she's very pretty and spends a lot of time thinking about clothes, but she's dropped out of school and is working in a plastic factory (this was a surprise, we all thought, seriously, that she would end up working on the streets). I'd rather be me than her.
Good clothes and good hairstyles can do wonders. At my college there is a hair and beauty salon, and every single girl (they're all girls) who works/studies there always looks very well groomed. But not one of them is actually naturally beautiful, they just trick you by being smart and stylish.
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I never understood why people thought you had to choose between looking good and intelligence.
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I just have to say that fatty´s post is one of the best and most motivational posts I´ve seen in a long time. Your own opinion on the way you look is indeed more important than that of the others. I myself have noticed this from time to time, for instance, when wearing my black jeans and/or sunglasses. I do not know what other people might think about them, but I do know that I think I look fantastic in them, and that really puts me in a good mood.
Of course, there are cases when the opinions of the others might actually exceed that of your own. For instance, I really liked wearing this stetson I had, since it made me look good. However, those around me (not my friends, of course) seemed to think it was ridiculous, so I ceased wearing it. It´s kinda sad, really, and I wish that one day I had good enough a self image to wear it again...
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Cool Cory says..
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c213/hey_there_fatty/FUCKYEAH-1.jpg) -I like 'em dressed like slutz!
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That hat is ridiculous. I think it's cute.
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You don't have to choose, but it makes more sense to base your self of worth on what you do and what you're capable of doing than what you look like. Also, when I'm a wonderfully successful lawyer I can get someone to tailor my clothes and then they will fit 8-)
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I'm okay with my body. My main problem lies with my weight. My friends assure me I'm thin, and I am in a healthy weight range for my height, but I've always felt fat. The only time I've felt like I was at a normal weight is when I was verging on being too thin for my frame. I struggle with learning to accept my body, and it is getting better but I've still go a ways to go I tend to like my facial features most of all. I'm starting to look like my mother for the first time in my life. We both have incredibly pointy chins.
I have to say, though, that I put more stock into my brain than my body. I don't wear makeup because I can't be bothered to spend the time on it, and I because I tell myself I don't need to be pretty because I'm smart. I know that I could be both, but it's probably just a fear that if I put effort into trying to be pretty and still turn out not that attractive, I've failed. If I don't try, then I'm safe with the uncertainty.
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being insecure about weight is one of those things that has always interested me because i constantly fluctuate between 140-150lb and i am about 5'1. the bmi index constantly tells me i'm morbidly obese (hurr) yet almost everything i own is a small or extra small and almost everyone who's met me can vouch that i'm a pretty tiny lady. i am just made of muscle or something. i don't really think i could lose weight because even with exercise when i get thinner i also get heavier. i figure as long as i look good naked, whatever.
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wow, you're dense! :-D
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I don't like my weight, but I do like the fact that my doctor told me if I'd had a smaller bone structure, I WOULD look my weight. And, besides, when I wear clothes in the right cut or style, I can make myself look quite nice. I've learned to accept that I'll always be a thicker, curvy lady, but I am trying to bring my weight down a little just so I can stay healthy. Meaning, I'm trying to stop being lazy and exercising. Yay swimming! Still can't breathe underwater more than half a pool length (stupid lungs), but I am getting faster and I can swim an hour without being tired afterwards.
Besides, I like my ass. I don't mind keeping it around for a while. :wink:
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BMI scale is pretty much completely worthless. I think what all the health-junkies base on whether or not a person is healthy is by their fat percentage for how much they weigh. Of course, the first way I'm also listed under morbidly obese and the second way I'm probably not much better off.
And anyway, I'm trying to find ways to just give myself a more positive self-image. I tried the "You look good" in the mirror thing, and it sorta kinda worked. Also, comparison. There is always someone worse. I am not fat,
(http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v298/sallimo/xfl_fat_man.jpg)
This guy is.
:mrgreen:
This guy is Phat.
I'm sorry about mucking up this page with those sorts of images. And now that I think about it, poor guy, you can't help but wonder what kind of self-image he has. Of course, from the picture it seems like he's tryin' to go in the right direction. Man I'm in a good mood today/night/morning.
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I have been feeling totally good about myself the last few days guys! Since I saw the totally hot guy at the Ross Noble show checking me out, I have been feeling pretty awesome!
He was totally hot.
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as boro_bandito showed, if ever your'e feeling bad about yourself, just remember, there's always someone worse off
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I give you the same advice I once gave Darryl: Life is worth living! (http://www.box.net/shared/e5hpwgo5cw)
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Man, if I saw you with those albums, I'd hit on you.
And then steal them while you were all flustered and distracted.
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I would like to see this situation play out.
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It just keeps getting better and better.
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Apologies for interrupting the proposed Fugazi-inspired make out fest, but I wanted to firstly say that Fatty pretty much has it nailed.
It took me an adolescence-worth of parentally-enforced neuroses, a late blooming eating disorder and many flattering photographs later to finally come to terms with the fact that I like who I am right now. Between last year and this year I dropped from UK size 22 to a 14 (I'm 5'11, sorry, no metric...), and the majority of people who saw the transition assumed that I only gained confidence after losing the weight. I had to gently break it to them that actually, whether I was struggling to find clothes to fit or starving myself to distraction, I still felt fucking gorgeous. The main difference was other people's responses, which, as a creature of vanity, I suck up to.
There will always be things which I dislike about myself, but having spent so long cultivating my insecurities and mocking myself for them, I can't care about them enough to get upset - it's like Fatty said - this is how you are, so love it, and I'm now thoroughly versed in good self-presentation and narcissism.
And like Linds, I'm not planning on shifting my ass. I love that thing.
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Slick, you would probably have to bed me.
Throw in an The Thermals' Fuckin A as well and you've got a deal.
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My self body image is basically the same as Patrick's posts a few pages back. I'm really skinny at 142.5 at 5"9, and it doesn't really help that I eat sparsely, walk an average of 4 or 5 miles a day, and have had a speedy gonzalez metabolism since younger years. I think I could stand to be heavier or at least more visibly muscular. I do a lot of exercising and try to do 10 - 20 pull-ups/push-ups whenever I can, but it doesn't seem to have much effect. You can see my ribs, and I got insanely veiny extremeties (LOL DONGS). I tend to think about my butt too, which is a bit foppish. Overall I'm pretty okay with my body. It's not too skinny, it's not too heavy. I'm supposedly cuddlesome despite bones that jut out from my body, so it's all good.
Now my face, don't even get me STAAHDED.
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I eat sparsely.
I think I could stand to be heavier or at least more visibly muscular.
I do a lot of exercising and try to do 10 - 20 pull-ups/push-ups whenever I can, but it doesn't seem to have much effect.
You can do all the weight training you want, but you won't build muscle if your body doesn't get enough nourishment. Adding some calories to your daily diet will help a lot, especially if you get them from good lean protein sources.
The most important question is: why do you eat sparsely, and what do you usually eat?
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I eat sparsely because I am poor and picky at once, and I mostly eat grains and meats. I try to eat the occasional salad for my vitamins and such. My mother works at a Thai restaurant and gets many meals half-off, which means a lot of spicy beef salads and sushi, so I've got a large source of protein and carbohydrates. I've also never had the largest of appetites, so it all kind of works against me. I eat small amounts of food, get full, my metabolism works it off while I walk and before I get home to do push-ups and pull-ups and the like.
Like I said, though, I'm okay with my body, I'm just like many other people. I've got stuff I'd change, and a lot people think otherwise but I'm all like "NO ARMS MUST BE HUGE" It's just a thing I do, and if this thread serves as an example, a thing a large majority of people do as well.
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Meat is pretty much the best thing you can get for muscle gain. As an ex skinny guy, I recommend investing in either a gym membership or just a simple set of free weights. There's only so much you can do with body weight, and most of it isn't really the type of thing that will bulk you up.
Compound lifts, such as deadlifts, squats, military press, and bench press are the quickest path to muscle gain - also remember to change around your routine every three weeks or so or your body will get used to whats going on and not make any progress.
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I eat small amounts of food, get full, my metabolism works it off while I walk and before I get home to do push-ups and pull-ups and the like.
If you don't eat enough before and after training, your body gets the energy it needs by breaking down your muscles to energy. Push ups on an empty stomach gives you less muscles.
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Meat is pretty much the best thing you can get for muscle gain.
oh man! could this be why i literally have no muscles?
so, um, self image. i am kind of weird because i am pretty vain - i mean, i think i am pretty aware of my flaws. i know that i am out of shape and i have a big nose and i tend to ramble a lot and i'm pretty awkward and i am really lazy and i gossip too much and... so on. but i've just accepted and gotten over the things i can't help (big nose) and try and change the things i can help (gossip) - although usually without much success. overall, though, i am pretty happy with myself, and i also tend to think i'm better than most people. i can't really tell if i think this because people really are as shitty as i think they are, or because i'm simply delusional.
when it comes to how others think of me, though, i have a deep-rooted paranoia that everybody hates me. i have two weapons to combat against this: 1) i'm aware of my paranoia, which helps me believe that it's all in my head and 2) since i think most people are shit anyways, even if they think i'm an asshole it doesn't really affect me because their opinion doesn't really matter much to me anyways (unfortunately, i think the reason i think everyone hates me is probably because, since i dislike so many people, it stands to reason that maybe all those people don't like me either). sometimes it can be a problem though - like when i get convinced that my best friend can't stand me and is just pretending to like me.
so basically: i really like myself. but everyone else doesn't like me. but that's okay because i love myself enough to cover for most of the world.
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I hate you maiAda!
...
No wait, I mean I like you!
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I always feel like I have a lot to say in these threads but never really know where to begin. Plus, I always feel like I will come across as a vain cock because even when I was an underweight, dorky ballet-dancing, marching band nerdy, shortest-in-the-class pre-teen I never had any self-image issues. I mean, I think there are always aspects of yourself you will feel could use improvement; for example, right now I know I have lost a lot of upper body strength over the past year or so and I would like to get it back. But even if I never do, I would not have a problem with it and would be perfectly comfortable with myself. I realise now (for the most part) that it's futile, but I used to wish that people could just drop their insecurities and convince themselves, even for a day, that they were great and absolutely worth everything. I actually don't like to think about this bit much anymore, because it makes me sad.
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It is sad that having a healthy self esteem makes you feel like you come across as a vain cock. I think that says a lot for how many people have self esteem issues compared to those who don't.
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I know where you're coming from, Katie, because people (including me) worry a lot about things they can't do much about or are over-exaggerating in their mind.
I really love How To Look Good Naked because it teaches people to love themselves without changing a single thing except their attitude towards their body. We should all have a Gok (http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/htlgn/index.html) of our own.
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Even as a fairly confident individual, I do not have a good self image. Picture me: square head, close cropped blond hair, red stubble, green eyes, and then just freckles and zits. Combine this face with a knobbly five foot eight inch hight, and add teen slacker uniform. Devastatingly ugly.The glasses do not help. I'll try to find a photo, but don't hold your breath.
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my self image is good. I like my body. I just sorta am disappointed with the state it's in, I should take better care of it. I'm extremely pleased with my naked body too.
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Plus, I always feel like I will come across as a vain cock because even when I was an underweight, dorky ballet-dancing, marching band nerdy, shortest-in-the-class pre-teen I never had any self-image issues.
This necropost is entirely useless and doesn't contribute to anything but Katie's already massive ego, but Katie, this is because you are SHIT HOT.
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Gok (http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/htlgn/index.html)
Oh my god it's the British analog to Carson Kressley, who does the show in America. Eerie.
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5 days? Hardly a necropost.
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My self image tends to be all over the place. I'm pretty tall (6'5") and for a good while, I tipped the scales at a whopping 165lbs. I'm now around 180lbs, and generally happy with how I look, but I still hate my hair most of the time, and I have a perpetual fear (bordering on paranoid obsession) about getting a gut as I get older.
All the guys in my family are tall-ish, and all of them (my Dad through my uncles) have the guy-looking-preggers gut. My whole life, I've been told that my metabolism will only last until I'm 30. So I obsess. The problem is, I don't do enough to combat it, so as with most people and self image stuff, I'm my own worst enemy. The thing is, I've got a 32" waist, and there's no reason I should be be this worried about something I can prevent. I guess having had crappy self-esteem all through high school and most of college just made it harder. I've dealt with most of the residual crap, but I get these odd surges of near-loathing or self-pity for no reason.
Anyway, I generally like my looks and my body. They always could be better, but I try to be content because I really have no reason to not be. Plus, if things go south and I get fat and sloppy, I really only have myself to blame. I can (reasonably) control my diet and my lifestyle, so if I'm not happy with how I look, I need to do something about it. If I don't do anything about it, I must be pretty comfortable with it.
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My self image has been quite poor recently, and as such it's really hit my confidence.
The fact is that I know I look a perfectly normal guy. I'm not fat, I'm not skinny, I'm just me, and I probably shouldn't have such an issue with myself as I do. I simply have an daft view of myself or of what I should be.
A few years ago I was a bit of a machine. I was training hard every day for no other reason than the joy of it. if I wasn't in the gym lifting weights or boxing training I was out running 10ks in 35 minutes. As such I admit I looked good. I was lean and broad shouldered with big arms and the six pack to go. I admit that it was exceptionally vain but I loved looking the way I did. It's a bonus from working hard.
Two - three years back though, for a reason I have no idea of, I started to become lazy and let it all slip away. I don't have a bad diet (other than too much of a sweet tooth) and I don't drink a lot of alcohol but with the lack of training and too much chocolate I have lost what I once had. Now I feel I have too much weight around the middle and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It's a horrible feeling to not really like yourself like this.
Then there's the issue of always feeling a little akward. As a few people have said, they grew up as teeneagers feeling uncomfortable and akward in their own skin, and as a result have carried that feeling onto into later life. I'm another one in the same position. Akward as a teenager and never very sure of myself, having lost that huge confidence boost I got in my early twenties when I got into serious training I've reverted back into being quite shy and wanting to play the "grey man". I'm also another one who hates to see themselves in photographs. I know I've been told I'm a handsome guy before, but I can't see it when I see myself in pictures. I see someone who looks out of place and akward. One of the main reasons of why there have been very few pictures of me ever posted on the boards. Because I don't often let myself be photographed, and when I am I see a guy with an akward smile and bad hair. Overly critical indeed, but I would love to have that easy confidence some have in front of a camera.
The solution? Well I've just spent a fair bit of cash building a weights room in my garage to get back into weight lifting. I'm also planning on getting back into team sports by re-joining the rugby team I used to play for, once I've built up a good base layed of fitness over the summer. However, having broad shoulders and a flat stomach I admit is a bit of a false confidence. Believing that you are looking good does do a lot for your self esteem, but it doesn't change you as a person and how you really feel about yourself. Still, after having that false confidence before I'm quite keen to have it back.
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I'm a 19 year old male. I am 5'11 3/4" (six foot with socks on I like to say) and 180/85 pounds. I have brown hair, though my beard grows in a bit more on the red side. I'm pretty much the definition of average looking but I like to think I make up for it with my sense of humor and sheer perseverance.
I could stand to lose a few pounds and I probably will now that I'm running more. I eat more though because of the running, and the not smoking. I have a beautiful girlfriend who I love and who loves me for who I am, even how I look. I dress fairly plainly because I don't have the kind of job where I need to dress up very often so I mostly where comfortable clothing.
As far as personality goes, I have pretty thick skin because literally everyone I grew up with is a sarcastic son of a bitch. My parents, my parent's friends, and their kids too. In our circle if we made fun of you it was because we liked you. We're polite to strangers and people we don't like. As such, I'm pretty sarcastic. I try not to let situations ever be too serious because life is too short to be serious. I do care about stuff but I'd rather be arguing for or against something or making fun of it then just stating that I care about it.
That's pretty much it, I don't think about this kind of thing too often.
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I totally agree with the idea presented pages back that having someone attracted to you helps greatly.
My flaws, in my opinion, are that I look like I only have half of both eyebrows because they turn blond after half, short eyelashes, and big feet for such a short girl (I'm 5'0" with size ten feet). Plus, I have stretch marks on my thighs. Those don't bother me too much for some reason. I guess because they're rarely ever pointed out anymore.
Thankfully, I've never had acne, just a pimple or two every once in awhile. I have an hourglass figure that I like and if I could succeed in making my stomach a little flatter and my bum a little smaller, I think I'd be pretty much happy with myself. However, if I didn't have a boyfriend who loved the way I looked, I probably wouldn't feel this way. It really helps to have someone tell you you're pretty even when you first wake up or you haven't dressed up.
I'm 120 and trying to lose 5 to 10 more pounds. I look healthy and I'm fitter than I have been since I was maybe 10 because I walk and hike a lot more since I moved. I also eat healthier and since my boyfriend's family doesn't buy many snack foods, I don't snack between meals unless it's an apple or something.
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Christ I hate being short.
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I was completely awkward and not self confident at all during most of my life, and then I hit 20 or so and i suddenly realized I was being a dumb shit. I mean, I'm not amazingly good looking, I'm 5'10" and went from 135 lb and a 28 inch waist to 220 - 230lb and a 40 inch waist (which I wouldn't mind trimming down) and I'm at a fairly dead end job for the time being.
The only thing about me that I find really irritating is my complete inability to have spur of the moment conversation or answer questions in things like job interviews without feeling like a total putz and me being terribly lazy. Otherwise, I feel like I am A OK!
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I'm your standard 16 year old dark hair short and skinny acne prone geek with issues. There I said it.
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Sounds like me at sixteen.
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the thing about being a teenager is you have to constantly remind yourself that it's actually your brain that is going nuts and shooting hormones all over the place telling you to feel ugly and awkward. it sounds like the lamest and most unsympathetic advice ever but you really just gotta wait a few years and push through to adulthood. for most people, things get a lot better really suddenly and you don't even gotta do nothing. it really is 90% hormones.
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In agreeance with above.
It also helps so you don't occasionally still have crippling self doubt! Speaking from experience here kids.
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That and the fact you're a teenager in general, Tania.
Honestly, in retrospect, I was a teenager with boundless attractiveness potential, but I didn't know what the fuck to do with myself. I totally screwed the pooch by growing my hair out about a foot and a half and growing one of those ugly sloppy goatee things. You know? The ones that all the teenage guys with foot and a half long hair who wear band shirts grew?
I wasn't genetically unattractive, but not for lack of trying.
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friggin hormones
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(http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/1037/24kf8.jpg)
i couldn't find any pictures of me at the pinnacle of adolescent awkwardness, i think maybe i'm about 13 in this one. just add terrible acne and dyed hair to this photo and you've got it.
DO YOU SEE, THERE IS HOPE FOR EVERYONE
EVEN ME
EVEN YOU
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pic
At first glance, I thought your shirt says "ABORTION."
ADDITION: Does it say SNORTING? It's kind of amusing coming up with words that'd fit the letter tops visible in the picture.
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Tania likes Coheed and Cambria, so there's some part of a 15 year old still within her.
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i don't! i saw the light! i am a real grown up now!
joe i think it says sporting but i can't really remember that far back.
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whoa i just realized that picture i posted is probably the only one i have with my real eyebrows in it.
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or my narrow shoulders
Hah, I feel your pain. I almost always wear a duster coat, and it has cords to tighten around the waist, but I can't tighten it down or it becomes obvious that my waist is wider than my shoulders, I looked at myself in a mirror with it tightened down and my first thought was "Holy shit, I look like a woman". Sadly, I appear to have gotten my bones from my mother's side, rather than my father's, he looks like a linebacker. Other than that and my eyebrows (got my grandfather's caterpillar brows), I don't really have anything to complain about, I am reasonably tall, have no difficulty keeping off weight, I have acne but I keep it off pretty well, and that is to be expected at 16. I can't grow a beard, but that is just a teenage thing as well, both sides of my family have thick facial hair. I think that confidence does change how you look quite a bit, I used to have a buzz cut (saved me combing in the morning when I was rushing to get to school) and wear just whatever somebody bought me, now I have gotten confident enough to actually pick clothes that I like the look of (aforementioned coat, drivers cap, combat boots, band T-shirts), I like the way I look a lot better.
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I pluck my eyebrows pretty fiercely, although I try not to make them too ridiculously thin. I went a bit overboard last time, and now my right one is pretty much just one hair thick at the tapering end, but it'll grow back. It's probably the only thing I feel is more of a compulsion than a choice; when I'm stressed I pluck my eyebrows and sometimes my eyelashes. It hurts, and looks stupid.
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Remember when girls had long hair? What was all that about?
I don't believe you. You're a liar.
I used to have a terrible body image, but I'm over that now. I just save all distain for myself as a person now. Even my house mate was surprised by the amount I could absolutely and genuinely tear into myself for the stupidest reasons. As time is going though, this is calming down, I'm sure its just about learning to be comfortable with yourself, work yourself out. Today was awkward though. A friend broke up with her down-right-despicable boyfriend and was asking about how I dealt with the end of my last less-than-perfect relationship. Of course, my new found maturity is post-break up and I didn't really want to tell her 'oh, I drank an awful lot and felt worthless most days', 'cause she looked like she needed cheering up.
Things are great now though! Huzzah
...and sometimes my eyelashes. It hurts, and looks stupid.
Waitaminute! your eyelashes? ouch...
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Haven't you ever pulled at your eyelashes when one was getting in your eye? Or when one was falling out? It wouldn't be pleasant, but it doesn't hurt bad.
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Nah, I'm quite weird when it comes to my eyes, but if it doesn't hurt too much I'll take your word for it. Just would freak me out is all.
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Body image thread, why have I suddenly taken to hating my body? I never used to feel like this.
I was shopping for clothes today and had to admit to myself that stopping exercising regularly has had an effect on my stomach. That's easily dealt with, I'll just start again. But I can't do much about the stretch marks that are steadily taking over my skin, or the fact that I've reached a point where I can only buy bras from specialist shops because my breasts bloody well won't stop growing. I bought my last set of bras at Easter, and now I've grown out of them so much that there's very little point wearing them any more.
Basically what I am saying is, who will pay for my breast reduction and dermatologist?
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Bloody stretch-marks, what can one do about them?! They're a most unwelcome reminder of a most unpleasant time, for me.
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Can't do anything about 'em really. You can't prevent them very well, you can't get rid of them very well. They fade over time and you get used to 'em.
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I actually don't mind my stretch marks that much but that is mainly because if you don't think about them too much they just look like oddly placed scars. In fact when a friend of mine saw me without a shirt on in highschool (about 5 months after I started hitting the gym really hard) she got all excited because she has a thing for scars and thought I had awesome ones across my chest. I didn't bother to correct her.
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My self image spiked when a cute girl who vaguely remembered me from last year decided to make out with me for no other reason than she thought I was hellof cute. It spiked again today when like 6 of my customers told me to tell my mama that she did a good job with me.
Also, Squiddy, if you're getting stretch marks from buffing up, I don't think you have anything to worry about in regards to them marring your appearance.
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Ah, but now they are also on my tummy! This is not because I have wicked abs but because I really enjoy pizza. My point about the looking like weird scars still stands though.
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one of my resolutions this year was to seriously, absolutely, with complete commitment put myself on a diet and seriously, absolutely, with complete commitment exercise at least three times a week. this isn't the kind of thing where i'm insecure or trying to starve myself because i want to lose weight or anything. i've always been pretty small, but i just wanted to actually look and feel really okay about my body. like, make myself work for it or something. it's been almost six months now and miraculously i've managed to keep this up and as a result, this is one of the first times in my life where i've been really happy with how i look and feel. it's weird, i mean i've probably gotten only a little bit leaner since i am a pretty tiny lady by default but putting myself on this regime has just really helped clear up my head and i feel really... accomplished i guess? it's awesome.
i was talking to my housemate about this and we got on the topic of how fatness really is an epidemic, because it's very, very hard to try to be healthy when all your friends aren't. if they want to order a pizza you can not be that guy who says, it's okay, i'll have a salad instead. it just isn't acceptable. it's very bizarre how in north america we have these conflicting messages in the media everywhere (for women, at least) going between YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, YOU NEED TO BE BEAUTIFUL and DON'T LET THE MEDIA PUSH YOU AROUND, EMBRACE YOUR CURVES. i mean, it gets to a point where basically the only thing that is acceptable is to be one of those girls who can eat whatever she wants and have a high enough metabolism that she stays skinny which is retarded because most people aren't like that. you either eat whatever you want and get fat, or you make an effort to eat healthy and stay fit. technically i'm on a diet because there's a lot of food i don't let myself eat anymore, and that word just makes people recoil automatically but really i feel awesome and clear headed so i don't get what the big deal is. maybe it's one of those things where the culture is just obsessed with always getting everything they want. who knows?
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I mean, I'm kind of glad that people are doing the embrace your curves thing, because it's better for a girl's self-esteem than YOU MUST BE THINTHINTHIN is, but I think people striving to be healthy is better. Even if people can eat whatever they want and stay thin, they can still be rather unhealthy. Getting in shape and being healthier is my goal right now, as I want to be as healthy as possible while I'm stuck without health insurance.
I need to find this book by this guy who was on the news (I forget his name) about how it's possible to eat healthier on a limited budget, as not everyone can afford organic. It was a really interesting interview and I really need to find out what his name is...
Edit: It's In the Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan.
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I have stretch marks on my thighs and knees. I've always been consistently skinny though. I figure it's because maybe I grew taller in such a short space of time or something.
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The biggest problem I have with food is my mother. She has a really fast metabolism and does a lot of gardening and as a result is permanently hungry, and although she's constantly nagging me to do more exercise she has no qualms about offering and cooking me lots of food I don't need. Resisting it is hard, although today I managed to stick to not eating the enormous lunch she was about to cook on the grounds that I wasn't hungry and had only just eaten breakfast.
Other than cycling and swimming, what sort of one-person sport counts as cardio-whateveritwas? I guess running, I'm not fond of running alone but I guess the dog might like to come too. Anything more fun?
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i usually just walk and run everywhere, which is pretty good as far as cardio goes. lately i've actually started skipping rope which is a fantastic workout. also, boxers do it so you don't gotta feel girly or nothing. just think of rocky.
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SKIPPING man I love doing that, that's a brilliant idea.
:D
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I got stretch marks on the inside of both boobs (on the cleavage side, if I had cleavage) sometime in early 2006, about a year after I went on the Pill. I would have thought that if my boobs were going to get bigger because of the Pill, they would have done so within the first four or five months after I started it. The other thing is that my boobs didn't actually get bigger when the stretch marks showed up; my bras all fit the same, and I didn't change sizes when I shopped for new ones. They bothered me a lot for a while until I realised that some people have them a lot worse and most people don't notice them at all anyway. They are rather fainter now, too, so much that I don't even see them most days.
So that is my story about this one time when I had something about my body I didn't really like! Hooray!
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I also read somewhere that doing the Wii Boxing that came in Wii Sports for half an hour burns more calories than jogging for half an hour. I tried it, it seems to be true.
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It probably burns a lot more calories than actually just hitting a punching bag for a half hour, too. Since it's a video game, you're constantly in high-tension twitch mode, and just relaxing and flowing into the exercise doesn't happen as easily because you're always reacting to something. It probably takes a lot more energy just because of that.
I always notice being way way more tired after a Wii Boxing match or 5 than I theoretically should be given the amount of movement I just did.
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I got Wii Fit about a week ago, and it's pretty cool, guys... as you workout, you earn fitness credits, which are equivalent to minutes working out. When you get enough fitness credits, you unlock more games (or aerobics moves, or yoga poses, or whatever section you're in). There's also a jogging portion, where you can race against a friend--it's virtual reality, f'reals! You don't even need to be standing on the balance board or anything!
Anyway, that combined with the fact that I got a gym membership two weeks ago (and I'm actually going regularly) means that maybe I'll be in good shape again for the first time since middle school.
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I'm extremely scornful of Wii Sports in the same way that I was scornful of MP3 players until recently... meaning that I'm insanely jealous of anyone who has one and wish I did. Do they really work as well as the adverts claim?
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Yep. I can feel it in my arms after I've done the boxing part and tennis as well.
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With Wii Sports, you really get out what you put in. You can exert yourself as much or as little as you want with any of the games.
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You will look like an idiot playing those games with weights attached to your wrists, but damned if it wouldn't be worth it to be ridiculed every time you played with a friend.
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wii boxing is interesting to me because it's essentially a complete role reversal for you and your little video game character. like, in most fighting games you're pretty much sitting there pushing buttons once in a while and meanwhile your guy jumps all over the place doing flip kicks and shooting fireballs and ripping off heads and all kinds of crazy shit. this time it's like, you're the one waving your arms all over the place and screaming and threatening to kill your friends while all your little guy does is punch the other guy once in a while.
that's how i play anyway.
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I think one of my favorite moves in Wii Boxing is to point both of your controllers outwards, because then your character does the "bring it" pose (or I think that's what it looks like). I use this to taunt who I'm boxing (and usually do so verbally as well) and then punch them in the face.
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Wii games in general can be good for that. I've been playing a lot of MLB Power Pros lately (Baseball) and it's been a great workout for my upper arms.
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Linds, next time I turn up unexpectedly on your doorstep to take photos of you whilst you're asleep, I shall wear a helmet.
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I actually don't mind my stretch marks that much but that is mainly because if you don't think about them too much they just look like oddly placed scars. In fact when a friend of mine saw me without a shirt on in highschool (about 5 months after I started hitting the gym really hard) she got all excited because she has a thing for scars and thought I had awesome ones across my chest. I didn't bother to correct her.
Stretch marks are scars!
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Stretch marks are kinda annoying, I have weird ones on my calves and thighs because I climbed some mountains and I rode/ride my bike a lot.
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The Wii. Pah. I have to use WEIGHTS to work out my upper body. You kids get to use videogames. Why should people get to ENJOY workouts? It's WRONG.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger does it without cheating by playing little nancy-boy video games.
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Nah, Arnie loves the Wii (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_onFRu5LOMI)
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Nintendo should just rename the DS as the PNES. You know, for uniformities sake.
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Because all of their other gaming devices conform to that naming nomenclature?
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Ephemere, I have so much respect for you doing that. The viewpoint you have on it is probably the only one I would ever take on board myself, and to keep it up is inspiring. I'm one of those people who does tend to believe in having what I want, when I want it, and over the last few months have let that interfere too much with my attempts at self-improvement, largely because I've yet to find a balance between indulgence and complete self-destructive neurosis, but what you described in your post is enviable, and what I'm aiming for. I salute you :-)
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Ahhh, stretch marks... mine have faded, but I used to have a bunch of them on my lower back, looked like I had gotten torn up bad by something and still had the scars. That is probably at least part of why I refuse to even go swimming without a shirt anymore (the other part being that the parts of my body normally covered by clothing instantly light on fire when put in sunlight, why I don't wear shorts).