THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Beast on 15 Sep 2008, 20:27

Title: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Beast on 15 Sep 2008, 20:27
Do you work at Subway?
Because you're giving me a footlong  :wink:
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ampersandwitch on 15 Sep 2008, 20:47
Don't flatter yourself
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: squawk on 15 Sep 2008, 20:48
Quote from: Johnny C
get out of my dreams and GET INTO THE VAN
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ampersandwitch on 15 Sep 2008, 21:01
Hey baby what has two thumbs and likes to fuck
THIS THREAD (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,11601.0.html)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Beast on 15 Sep 2008, 21:30
that thread is as ancient and wrinkly as John McCain's scrotum
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Blue Kitty on 15 Sep 2008, 21:37
stealin' from myself

Quote
Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: johnny5 on 15 Sep 2008, 21:52
YOU AND I SHOULD FUCK
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ZJGent on 15 Sep 2008, 22:09
WHAT'S A LOVELY GIRL LIKE YOU DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

YOU'RE A MAN? WHAT A COINCIDENCE, SO AM I.

WE SHOULD FUCK.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ampersandwitch on 15 Sep 2008, 22:18
that thread is as ancient and wrinkly as John McCain's scrotum

Let me know if that pickup line works on anything
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Tom on 15 Sep 2008, 22:20
WHAT'S A LOVELY GIRL LIKE YOU DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

YOU'RE A MAN? WHAT A COINCIDENCE, SO AM I.

WE SHOULD FUCK.

Epic win!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Beast on 15 Sep 2008, 22:20
I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Tom on 15 Sep 2008, 22:27
Hey man, this must be sick as hell.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: yelley on 15 Sep 2008, 22:56
what's a cute boy like you doing in a ridiculous replay of a thread that was lame the first time around like this?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Cartilage Head on 15 Sep 2008, 23:05
 Do ya wanna fuck
 Do ya wanna fuck
 Tonight?
 Do ya wanna put your legs behind your head
 And take this dick like a champ, girl? (http://www.sickanimation.com/audio.asp?name=doyouwanna)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: celticgeek on 15 Sep 2008, 23:13
The most effective one I have ever heard of is from Les Nessman (WKRP In Cincinnati):  "Hello.  I'm enormously wealthy".
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: öde on 16 Sep 2008, 01:47
A guy I worked with apparently knew someone that would get results with the line, "I will fucking ruin you." I have no idea either.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: fatty on 16 Sep 2008, 06:56
Guys, do you want to hear my pickup line? This one actually worked:

Me: (to guy wearing black fingerless hobo gloves) I like your gloves. Can I have them?
Him: Uh, well you can't have the gloves, but you can have me. I come with the gloves.
Me: That will do. Dance?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: reddragonflame on 16 Sep 2008, 08:47
"Hey baby, did you know I'm a beatboxer?"
"Um, yes / um, no"
"Well, do you know what they say about us beatboxers?"
"What's that?"
"We're good with our mouths ;)"

*Cue sex*

Hasn't actually worked :(
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: öde on 16 Sep 2008, 08:54
Honey, honey see me
Behind my Gameboy
I got game girl
It comes easy
Let go your shoulders
My popsicle it’s so sweetsie
slam back that sparks
Don’t hesitate
And you believe me
Ya bitch believe me
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 16 Sep 2008, 10:38
A dude on my other forum knows a guy who has the most interestingly frank technique. Apparently he does this on a weekly basis.

He just walks up to girls, points at their breasts and says "Sup with those titties?"

The more I mull over this, the more surreal it becomes.

i have a friend who uses almost this exact same line in several different variations.

one hilarious example that comes to mind was at a party at my house when him and this girl were really drunk and got in to a huge fight with each other (they didn't know each other)....because frankly he's kind of an asshole. so anyway, they're fighting and she's screaming at the top of her lungs "YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!" to which he calmly replied "Yeah, so? Wanna make out about it?" and, of course, she replies "Yes."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: imagist42 on 16 Sep 2008, 10:53
Guys, do you want to hear my pickup line? This one actually worked:

Me: (to guy wearing black fingerless hobo gloves) I like your gloves. Can I have them?
Him: Uh, well you can't have the gloves, but you can have me. I come with the gloves.
Me: That will do. Dance?

sounds more like he had the pickup line
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 16 Sep 2008, 11:30
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Drill King on 16 Sep 2008, 11:39
"Gosh my knees are killing me!"
"Aw why?
"Well see, I hurt my right knee at Christmas and my left knee at Easter..."
"Really? Bad luck"
"Yeah, want to spend some time between the holidays?"


Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Cartilage Head on 16 Sep 2008, 13:01
Heyooooooooo
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: bubblekiller13 on 16 Sep 2008, 13:17
Now I would never call myself a master of picking up the guys...But here's one that I've used once that had some good results:


"Hi."
"Hello."
"So, um, did you know that thanks to a new law based on Affirmative Action, it is now required that all Minorities be given a shot in the "random sex with strangers" field?
"Are you shitting me?
"No. (After a pause) So, how about we meet that minority quota?"



It was awkward and random and got me some pretty sweet make outs...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 16 Sep 2008, 13:33
Rock. Paper. Scissors.

It works every time, as long as you always pick rock. And tell them "I always pick rock"

Then there's the kangaroo in denmark eating an orange thing...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 16 Sep 2008, 14:15
"I think we're alone now..."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 16 Sep 2008, 14:52
Hey guys hey guys, being a sincere, charming, interesting person.

I know right? What the hell.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: RobbieOC on 16 Sep 2008, 15:16
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

I was totally going to make a roofie joke... but you beat me to the basic idea.

 :-D - So classy!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 16 Sep 2008, 15:38
Works every time, and hey! You don't even have to call the next day!

As far as being sincere, charming, and interesting... that is a dangerous road that can lead straight to Friend. Population: No sex.

Oh yeah. I got class. :wink:
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: fozmo on 16 Sep 2008, 16:01
Are you my mom? Because I'd like to live at your place.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1287#comic
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 16 Sep 2008, 16:45
Are you an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tania on 16 Sep 2008, 16:48
get in the car or i'll fucking kill you.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ampersandwitch on 16 Sep 2008, 16:53
My friend called her friend's house and rather than getting her friend on the other line, it was her confused, drunk alcoholic father.  He was operating under the belief that he was being prank called and damn if he didn't just supply me with the best pickup line.

"I- I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!  I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!  NOW I KNOW WHAT HER TITTIES LOOK  LIKE!"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Johnny C on 16 Sep 2008, 16:57
get in the car or i'll fucking kill you.

EDIT: Ah, Anna quoted me already. Thanks Anna!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Gridgm on 16 Sep 2008, 17:48
you must be a mathematician because you're bubling over with secs...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tania on 16 Sep 2008, 18:32
that one really does have a very high success rate.
i mean, so i hear.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tania on 16 Sep 2008, 19:11
you'll stop wondering if you know what's good for you
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 16 Sep 2008, 19:15
Honey, honey see me
Behind my Gameboy
I got game girl
It comes easy
Let go your shoulders
My popsicle it’s so sweetsie
slam back that sparks
Don’t hesitate
And you believe me
Ya bitch believe me
Lines from ANY Spank Rock song are never an appropriate pick up line...or perhaps they are the most appropriate. I can't really decide now...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: est on 16 Sep 2008, 19:31
Man see, I am looking at girls pickup lines and thinking why the fuck they need them.  Here is the best ladies pickup line for a bar or a club or something, ok?  You walk up to a guy and if there is a seat you sit next to him or if not then stand beside him and say "Hey!" and then you smile at him.  Unless the dude is already taken, gay or a remarkable douchebag then everything after that is pretty much just formalities.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: est on 16 Sep 2008, 19:37
Also: "Man, I ain't got laid since I killed my wife.  You busy tonight, dollface?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jhocking on 16 Sep 2008, 19:41
Unless the dude is already taken, gay or a remarkable douchebag

You forgot totally oblivious.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ForteBass on 16 Sep 2008, 19:47
So do you take it in the ass, or am I wasting my time here?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 16 Sep 2008, 20:32
Works for guys AND girls!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: öde on 16 Sep 2008, 20:49
Lines from ANY Spank Rock song are never an appropriate pick up line...or perhaps they are the most appropriate. I can't really decide now...

I think confusion and dissatisfaction would be the end result.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: est on 16 Sep 2008, 21:14
"Hey um, I think my bra just came undone.  Be a dear and hold up my boobs while I do it back up?"  (stick out chest)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ForteBass on 16 Sep 2008, 21:52
Are you free tonight or is this gonna cost me?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Beast on 16 Sep 2008, 22:06
Hey babe, how about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: pwhodges on 17 Sep 2008, 00:56
My brother has an old Arabic language course that supplies the following:

Quote
"I love you and my he-camel loves your she-camel"

"If you do not marry me, I will kill you"

I'm sure they both sound better in Arabic...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Spluff on 17 Sep 2008, 01:14
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

Quote
"If you do not marry me, I will kill you"

Now that is a good one.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 17 Sep 2008, 03:29
I had this exchange earlier tonight with a very attractive lady.  I'm not going to fully explain the context, just because I think it's funnier that way, but I will say that it is entirely verbatim.

Me: [name], I want to reveal myself to you.
Her: OK, what do you want to show me?
Me: Ever since that second time I saw you at [community event], I've been extremely attracted to you as a person.  I'm not entirely sure how much of this is due to the fact that you very closely resemble someone I know who is a close friend of mine and who I think of as a role model, but I hope that over time I'll be able to tease apart my attraction to you and find out what's really going on.
Her: Thank you.

(a couple minutes later)

Her: Joe, I want to reveal myself to you.
Me: OK, what do you want to show me?
Her: When you said earlier that one thing you wanted out of your next lover was Original Play, my pussy went thump-THUMP-thump-THUMP-THUMP.
Me: Thank you.

(a little while after)

Her: Joe, I want to reveal myself to you.
Me: OK, what do you want to show me?
Her: I'm getting feelings in my body that are telling me that I really want to fuck you, and I am trying to figure out if that is what I actually want to do.
Me: Thank you.

(The structured language was on purpose.  We were doing a very deliberate we-are-here-to-tell-each-other-true-things-about-ourselves thing and using the structured dialogue to frame the things we said was very helpful when it came to being clear with each other.)

Moral of the story is that pickup lines are for losers and the best way to ensure plentiful and healthy sexual encounters is to be upfront and honest in as loving and compassionate a fashion as you can, right from the getgo, no games, no competitive posturing, no bullshit.  I'm not sleeping with that woman tonight, of course ... what we were saying to each other is precisely that we are trying to give ourselves some time to clarify our intentions, so we're doing that.  Would I have increased my chances of sleeping with her tonight if I'd said something untrue in order to push us in that direction?  Probably not, and in any case I would've been lying to myself about how badly I wanted to have sex with her to begin with, which is a pretty shitty start.

Seriously, compassionate self-understanding and honest self-expression are not only the basis for the best sex you can have, but also a pretty good way to get there.  Pickup lines are just bad jokes.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: penfolder on 17 Sep 2008, 03:53
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

Quote
"If you do not marry me, I will kill you"

Now that is a good one.


"If I told you you had a beautiful body....would you take off your pants and dance around a little?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: axerton on 17 Sep 2008, 04:24
Chat upper:FAT PENGUIN!
Chat upee: what?
Chat upper: oh, just something to break the ice.

Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: IronOxide on 17 Sep 2008, 05:10
I wanna take your derivative baby, so I can lie tangent to your curves.

Though I like Johnny's more.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 17 Sep 2008, 07:02
I received an email from a friend of a friend:

Subject: I like you

"Today is our wedding. I've alerted my parents."


My response was "Well, if you insist, I'll need an extra goat as a down payment."


His reply: "Yes, yes, we'll sort out all the goat issues later. Let's just talk over AIM now."



It almost worked! Well, except that I had met him in other contexts before. And then he turned out to be an asshole. So it ultimately failed.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 17 Sep 2008, 07:11
Well then HE failed. Like a failing failure.

You're not supposed to let it be known that you're an incredible asshole until AFTER the wedding.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Runner4406pack on 17 Sep 2008, 08:22
The word of the day is legs, lets get out of here and spread the word.

Do you believe in love at first sight? (Yes/no) Good then I don't have to walk by again/I guess I'll have to walk by again.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi my name is...


Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ThePQ4 on 17 Sep 2008, 08:43
Chat upper:FAT PENGUIN!
Chat upee: what?
Chat upper: oh, just something to break the ice.

Due to my illness, this one took me a second to get, but when I did I -groaned-. I think I scared the hell out of the guy wiping down tables in the caf.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Storm Rider on 17 Sep 2008, 11:59
She has to get pregnant first, or else it's not a shotgun wedding.

God, don't you know anything about America?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: KvP on 17 Sep 2008, 12:03
Maybe Tommy knows exactly what a shotgun wedding is.

Man, that is gonna be one vulgar baby.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: bbqrocks on 17 Sep 2008, 12:12
Quote
Chat upper:FAT PENGUIN!
Chat upee: what?
Chat upper: oh, just something to break the ice.

like, fuck you, man. That's the only chat up line I know!  :-(

But, 'I'm gonna hit on you tonight' generally goes down well.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: gospel on 17 Sep 2008, 13:19
I still think my favorites are

"You've been running through my mind... screaming."

and, "Can I follow you to your car?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 17 Sep 2008, 14:15
This will be the best wedding ever.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Johnny C on 17 Sep 2008, 14:51
I'm just gonna send a few of my best swimmers across the Atlantic.

(http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-08/41659194.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 17 Sep 2008, 15:36
Well done, man.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 17 Sep 2008, 18:55
You have beautiful thighs...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tragic_pizza on 17 Sep 2008, 19:49
"I just got outa prison, and you smell like honeysuckle..."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ZJGent on 17 Sep 2008, 20:57
"Hey, baby, you like posting awful pick-up lines in forums on the Inter-Net?

Uh... no, me either. See? Something we share.

Now let's go so's I can screw you someplace uncomfortable, like the back of my Nissan Micra."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 17 Sep 2008, 21:51
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 18 Sep 2008, 15:58
I'm just gonna send a few of my best swimmers across the Atlantic.

(http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-08/41659194.jpg)

I would probably fuck him.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ForteBass on 18 Sep 2008, 19:18
You've said the same about me.
Your taste is questionable.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 19 Sep 2008, 02:55
The dude's athletic and rich. I'd call that a safe pick. Now if she said the same about my greasy, fat, Ben & Jerry's eating ass, then you could use the [QUESTIONABLE] stamp without conflict.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jodizzle on 19 Sep 2008, 03:00
I would probably fuck him.

His body creeps me out!  Basically what I am saying Katie is that you can have him.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: redglasscurls on 19 Sep 2008, 03:38
Think of the stamina though!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tragic_pizza on 19 Sep 2008, 03:43
... unless he happens to be going for another speed record, ifyaknowhutimean...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jodizzle on 19 Sep 2008, 04:28
I can't help but think his head is too small for his body.  he seems odd. This is why sport is for lamers!  It makes you look weird!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Katherine on 19 Sep 2008, 07:56
Guys, his teeth.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Social Bacon on 19 Sep 2008, 08:37
The dude's athletic and rich.
All the reason not to fuck him. The dude's probably a dick.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: RedLion on 19 Sep 2008, 09:10
If you've seen pictures of him on the red carpet at different events, he does dress kind of like a douche.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ozymandias on 19 Sep 2008, 09:11
Here's an ACTUAL AIM CONVERSATION with the dude. (http://modifiedliving.com/michaelphelps.htm)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 19 Sep 2008, 10:00
Man, even if that is authentic (which I suppose it may be), I don't see how it makes him look bad. Whoever it is sounds confused and irritated that some fuckhead from the internet is annoying him. He also doesn't say anything particularly offensive (besides "this is gay" but he's a 19 year old bro, what can you do?)

The way he gets really open at the end though makes me think it's a fake.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Spluff on 19 Sep 2008, 21:49
What's with all the hating on sport and athleticism. Sure, Phelps is ugly and he doesn't have the best looking body (he's a swimmer), but athleticism isn't bad, guys!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 20 Sep 2008, 05:00
Blog Thread,
I was told I'd have to put on another 30 or 40 pounds of muscle. I... I sorta don't want to. It'll make me lose a lot of my slender but muscular look and make me just muscular.
I already have pants that my calves won't fit into anymore. I don't wanna lose the ability to wear small shirts without looking like a douche.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: BlahBlah on 20 Sep 2008, 05:07
Do you like computers? I have a 3.5" floppy.

Oh yeah!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: clockworkjames on 20 Sep 2008, 05:29
a/s/l?

:D
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Drill King on 20 Sep 2008, 07:02
Fuck I love Micheal Phelps. Fuck I love swimmers warblegarblenomnomnom.

Um.. I just had to say that I can't think of any pick up lines right now.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Cartilage Head on 20 Sep 2008, 08:00
 His father's name is Fred Phelps. Coincidence? I think not.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: thepugs on 20 Sep 2008, 08:20
I'm shocked no one has posted this yet: http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/08/19/just-asking-is-michael-phelps-a-douche/
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jhocking on 20 Sep 2008, 08:39
Man, even if that is authentic (which I suppose it may be), I don't see how it makes him look bad.

also
Fuck I love swimmers warblegarblenomnomnom.

Hit on swimmers openly. They may be otherwise nerdy guys who are too chicken to make a move. I'm just saying.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Hat on 20 Sep 2008, 16:13
I think the most successful line I have is "Do you want to flirt for a while until we both find something better" but last night I tried out a very successful new one where I am all "Hey baby do you like to dance because I like to dance as well, we should dance together" and I wish I spent more time forging these lines and less time drinking myself to death because I would get laid a lot more as a result

I am turning every thread in I like HURR into the Blog thread. Basically it is a transformation process like how a car turns into a robot and fuck me that is awesome

Hit on swimmers openly. They may be otherwise nerdy guys who are too chicken to make a move. I'm just saying.

Swimmers are inherently hairless men. You need to take this into account because they probably forget they have testosterone. Also it looks like I am giving J-Ho advice about men but that is not true, J-ho has all the men he will ever need. (NONE)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 20 Sep 2008, 17:53
Think of the stamina though!


Yeah, I never said I thought he was hot, just that I would probably do him. Remember how my standards are pretty much non-existent, guys.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: negative creep on 20 Sep 2008, 18:39
Does that mean I still have a chance?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 21 Sep 2008, 10:34
I'm just gonna send a few of my best swimmers across the Atlantic.

(http://www.supertouchart.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/ballen93-1_000.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: tania on 21 Sep 2008, 11:07
(http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/6003/comeonah3.png)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jhocking on 21 Sep 2008, 11:59
That's obviously a typo of "wildebeest." geez, way to be anal man.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: BrilliantEraser on 21 Sep 2008, 12:04
Chat upper:FAT PENGUIN!
Chat upee: what?
Chat upper: oh, just something to break the ice.



Win.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Cartilage Head on 21 Sep 2008, 12:35
 Funny thing, I thought about using that picture of the inbreds because they look like Michael Phelps.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 22 Sep 2008, 04:47
way to be anal man
Aaaand we have the new Batman villain.
"Quickly, Robin! We must attempt to recreate this villain's sounds using bat-sodomy!"

I think that's simultaneously on and off topic, depending on how you view it.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 23 Sep 2008, 01:39
Funny thing, I thought about using that picture of the inbreds because they look like Michael Phelps.

DAMNIT PEOPLE THAT WAS THE JOKE
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Spluff on 23 Sep 2008, 03:27
those things look like ian thorpe
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Spluff on 23 Sep 2008, 03:34
so i guess we've learnt our lesson. all swimmers are inbred. which, in this context means that tommy's swimmers are inbred.


wait, that doesn't make sense. i.. i am sorry guys, this was not supposed to happen. i am very sorry.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 23 Sep 2008, 05:08
If all the best swimmers are inbred, does that mean there is a hidden Olympic gold medalist in Appalachia?

Now we need a good incest pick-up line, and I can't think of a one.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: jhocking on 23 Sep 2008, 07:06
Now we need a good incest pick-up line, and I can't think of a one.

"Hey babe, why don't we go back to my place and swap stories about our mutual relatives?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: thegreatbuddha on 23 Sep 2008, 10:12
Why go down the street when we could go across the hall?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Patatat on 23 Sep 2008, 10:15
Can I stick it in your ass?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Beast on 23 Sep 2008, 20:20
I want to do a jihad on your pussy.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Melodic on 23 Sep 2008, 22:28
It was discussed, and I don't think I like that idea at all. I get bad images of dynamite-strapped erections.

Anyways, I like my "Hello, I care about your feelings and will go down on you if you reciprocate accordingly."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: octodexy on 23 Sep 2008, 22:34
I often wonder if this is effective.

"I promise I won't call you back, but you'll be glad, it's cool."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 24 Sep 2008, 12:40
"I have Parkinson's disease so you never have to worry about me stopping before you cum."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Tom on 27 Sep 2008, 16:10
THE DOOR IS CLOSED I JUST LOCK IT, I PUT MY WALLPLUG IN YOUR SOCKET
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Storm Rider on 27 Sep 2008, 16:46
Two great pickup lines from that video:

"My blue jeans is tight, so onto my love rocket climb"
"Hey there love crusader, I want to be your space invader"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Tom on 27 Sep 2008, 17:02
The whole little guide-book that it's part of is incredibly hilarious. God, I love Santo Cilauro
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: 20 jazz funk greats on 28 Sep 2008, 00:21
worst pick-up line award goes to: "i'm not trying to hit on you", followed by this really awkward up-and-down-glancy thing that indicates otherwise.
wtf. YOUR REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, IT DOES NOT WORK ON ME.

this probably would if i was single though:
you're so hot, you're making me sexist.  flight of the conchords references are clearly the way to my heart.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: McTaggart on 28 Sep 2008, 01:39
you're so beautiful
you could be a part time model
(but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job)

[the best part of not buying that album is that whenever I hear one of the songs it is still just amazing rather than just old hat]
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: DonInKansas on 28 Sep 2008, 09:55
BOOBIES!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNDlf6hA6TY)

Chicks dig it.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Nomicakes on 30 Sep 2008, 10:18
I give head if you do.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 30 Sep 2008, 17:00
"Hi, i'm not very good at talking to strangers so do you just want to makeout instead?"

or

"I'm old enough to buy beer."


Those two have, in my experience, worked at least once.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 30 Sep 2008, 22:11
That first one, if pulled off properly (by the right person, with the right person, in the right situation) has the potential to be super cute and effective.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 Oct 2008, 13:20
And if pulled off improperly (by the wrong person, with the wrong person, in the wrong situation) has the potential to be devastating and included the chance of involving the police. Mine's more likely.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: bob, just bob on 06 Oct 2008, 08:24
this one actually worked for me at a party it was ridiculous.

"he, so I assigned all the girls in the room a number between 1-20 based on how hot they are then I rolled a D20 to see which one I was gonna hit on tonight... I rolled a 20"

she couldn't stop laughing, I was just glad she got the nerd reference, too many girls don't know what a D20 is.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 06 Oct 2008, 10:47
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE TRUCK

BEZERKER

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKING FUCK

BEZERKER
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: 0bsessions on 06 Oct 2008, 10:58
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS TICKING CLOCK

BERSERKER

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY COCK?

BERSERKER
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 06 Oct 2008, 12:44
For the 3 people who haven't seen BERZERKAAAR, here:
http://luckychannel.org/f/res/32.html (http://luckychannel.org/f/res/32.html)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 07 Oct 2008, 07:40
this one actually worked for me at a party it was ridiculous.

"he, so I assigned all the girls in the room a number between 1-20 based on how hot they are then I rolled a D20 to see which one I was gonna hit on tonight... I rolled a 20"

she couldn't stop laughing, I was just glad she got the nerd reference, too many girls don't know what a D20 is.

What you didn't say was whether the 20 was on the high or low end :o
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 07 Oct 2008, 08:40
Have you played DnD before, Pants?

You should.

I had a level 5 Holy Champion of Hurrian that was awesome.
I really enjoyed the Exalted game I was in though. And I was actually pretty into the Mutants and Masterminds game we had started.

I play these games, they are part of my life.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 07 Oct 2008, 12:53
Then you know that the [Natural 20] made her a critical hit.

I've got another horrible pick-up line: "Here, drink this: it'll make me funnier."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 07 Oct 2008, 13:00
Ahh, I figured that's what you were doing there. Niiiice.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: LittleKey on 09 Oct 2008, 23:57
my friend verity claims i once used the line "i bet i'd like your underwear" on a friend of hers while circus drunk.

it tickled her so much she even put it in a song.
Taken from the other really old pickup line thread.  I just really like this one hahaha.

And my contribution... "I find you very attractive, and I'd like to get to know you." The simple stuff works the best, either the girl rejects you or she appreciates the sincerity and yeah, icebreaker. and speaking of that, i also like all the ones talking about penguins and stuff breaking the ice.

Also, I really want to bring back that older thread mentioned a few posts down on the first page, because it's hilarious and has some good lines in it. But i'd probably get chewed out so I won't.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 10 Oct 2008, 00:20
And my contribution... "I find you very attractive, and I'd like to get to know you." The simple stuff works the best, either the girl rejects you or she appreciates the sincerity

Winner.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ozymandias on 10 Oct 2008, 00:34
I guess that works.

If you're gay.

And you're hitting on a gay man.

With little umbrellas in a fruity little drink.

And a pink tutu.

Fags.

("I want to put my little umbrella in your fruity drink" does not work, I bet.)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ozymandias on 10 Oct 2008, 00:39
I'm just saying, stop being so megagay.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 10 Oct 2008, 04:09
"I'm attracted to you and I want to get to know you better" certainly worked the one time I used it to pick up a guy.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 10 Oct 2008, 07:32
That line would work on me, Jordan. And I am not a gay man.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ozymandias on 10 Oct 2008, 07:49
"I have a working penis" would work on you, Liz.

(Because you like penises so much. Especially when they work.)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 10 Oct 2008, 08:00
Actually if I guy said that to me I would probably stare in awe for a second and walk away.

Honestly. I flirt with people on the internet a lot. It's fun! But I do actually have standards, you know. Not just anyone can get into my pants.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 10 Oct 2008, 10:11
Oh come on now. I don't allow non-humans into my pants.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: BrilliantEraser on 10 Oct 2008, 10:39
speciesist

I think it may be more of a non-furryist. Which is quite normal.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 10 Oct 2008, 13:10
I was gonna make a joke about killing the non-humans in your pants with a special shampoo, but I couldn't get it to come together right.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Barmymoo on 10 Oct 2008, 13:28
Oh Liz.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 10 Oct 2008, 18:10
Liz doesn't use sex toys, guys. That is what she is really saying.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 12 Oct 2008, 11:03
Oh May.

Also I am double quoted in your sig now? Nice.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Tom on 12 Oct 2008, 13:44
Oh come on now. I don't allow non-humans into my pants.

Dead people are still human, albeit dead.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 12 Oct 2008, 13:45
This thread went from being funny-creepy to just creepy really suddenly
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 12 Oct 2008, 14:40
Seriously kids, moving the fuck on..
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 12 Oct 2008, 15:33
To what?  More pick-up lines?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 12 Oct 2008, 16:52
Was mine creepy? I was just trying to pick apart what she meant by "non-human".
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 12 Oct 2008, 16:58
No Katie, it was more the necrophilia thing..

There's nothing creepy about (conventional) sex toys.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Patatat on 12 Oct 2008, 17:01
I am studyin' "a broad", wanna be my thesis?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: De_El on 12 Oct 2008, 20:07
To get your arm around a chap or lady next to you: "If you were a pirate, would you have a parrot on this shoulder [gesture to the closer] or this shoulder [gesture to the farther]?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 12 Oct 2008, 20:22
No no, gesture to the farther first, then the closer.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: De_El on 12 Oct 2008, 20:34
*Shrug* I figure people could figure it out, but I also have a tendency to over-explain.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 12 Oct 2008, 20:36
Or would you rather the parrot sit on your tits? (gesture)

(call a lawyer)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 13 Oct 2008, 02:29
Okay, lets do some role reversal: assume then that I'm the pirate.
Now, would you rather be a parrot sitting on my shoulder, or my penis? (gesture)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Patatat on 13 Oct 2008, 07:10
Ever fuck a parrot? Wait...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Inlander on 13 Oct 2008, 07:52
You just go up to someone and say "Hello!" in a parrot voice.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: supersheep on 13 Oct 2008, 08:09
What the hell.

Also, I once tried the line "Do you know how to cook potatoes?" without realising the potential for it to be taken as a sexist insult rather than the WTF moment I was hoping for.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 19 Oct 2008, 18:41
I take my women like I take my steak. Raw and bleeding :wink:
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Hljómalind on 19 Oct 2008, 18:53
I've only used one pick-up line - the other times either I was "picked up", or there was no picking up, just mutual coalescing, usually in environs too loud for lines of the non-powdered form - and it was "So, um, do you like your pizza and can I ask you out?" To which she replied, "Sure." There was an awkward pause, and then she said, "So, before...that wasn't a date?"

So it turns out I actually asked her out 6 weeks after our first date.
Quote
To get your arm around a chap or lady next to you: "If you were a pirate, would you have a parrot on this shoulder [gesture to the closer] or this shoulder [gesture to the farther]?"
This one is awesome, and a firm favourite among my friends. (Annoyingly, as they hang around with girls who read Neil Gaiman and listen to indie electronica, it generally works.)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ZJGent on 19 Oct 2008, 19:10
I take my women like I take my steak. Raw and bleeding :wink:

I take my women like I take my coffee.

In a little plastic cup.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 19 Oct 2008, 19:16
"I like my women like I like my beer, stout and bitter."


I'm so sorry you guys I'm gonna crawl back under my rock.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 19 Oct 2008, 21:29
I like my women like I like my whiskey

12 years old and mixed up with coke.

A little too far? nah.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 19 Oct 2008, 21:35
Gahh, fix the white border around your avatar Vidya. It annoys me so much.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 20 Oct 2008, 05:19
I like my women like I like my coffee, in a sack slung over the back of a donkey. Okay. Now that the worst of these has been stated, we can move past it.

Wait, I remember one even worse:

I like my women like I like my coffee, ground up and soaked in boiling water. Now we can move on.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: 0bsessions on 20 Oct 2008, 06:15
"I like my women like I like my pizza: cold, greasy and leftover."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 20 Oct 2008, 06:18
"I like my women like I like my mashed potatoes"

"with my dick in them"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Inlander on 20 Oct 2008, 06:57
"I like my women like I like my wine:

excellent conversationalists."
Title: Re: I LIKE MY WOMEN THREAD NOW
Post by: Jace on 20 Oct 2008, 08:45
"I like my women like I like my hacky sack"

"something small that I can carry and knock around with my friends"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ozymandias on 20 Oct 2008, 09:39
I like my women like I like my mom

Having sex with me.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 20 Oct 2008, 10:11
Ozymandias and Oedipus aren't that different apparently.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 20 Oct 2008, 10:25
"I like my women like I like my coffee."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 20 Oct 2008, 10:29
"I don't."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: imagist42 on 20 Oct 2008, 11:06
Are we trying to make everyone think we are crazy Republicans with a weird-faced-McCain fetish?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Barmymoo on 20 Oct 2008, 11:07
Liz. Get out.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 21 Oct 2008, 07:28
Are you alone?

Does anybody else know you're here?

Would you like to go for a drive?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: ampersandwitch on 23 Oct 2008, 06:28
I take my women like I take my steak. Raw and bleeding :wink:

I take my women like I take my coffee.

In a little plastic cup.


Eddieeeee Izzard.

Don't think I didn't notice.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 23 Oct 2008, 07:54
(thanks Jace/Liz)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 23 Oct 2008, 22:38
(thanks Jace/Liz)

Man, I was contributing too. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have kept linking stuff. Or something. I dunno.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Liz on 23 Oct 2008, 22:51
Well I found the truck one so I am taking credit.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 23 Oct 2008, 23:43
(http://4chanarchive.org/images/61105589/1207193514575.gif)

I like my women like I like Fry's dog. Dead.

You're now both sad and disgusted.

p.s. you're also now manually blinking.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 24 Oct 2008, 11:54
What the hell is it with you and images with a white border? It's so very distracting...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 24 Oct 2008, 15:08
What the hell is it with you and images with a white border? It's so very distracting...

I actually had a picture of Seymour that had a normal border, but I figured PantsFTW would like this one better.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Inlander on 25 Oct 2008, 06:54
"I like women like I like tea:

in the sense that I like women, and I also like tea.

Not in the sense that the state in which I like one, is equivalent to the state in which I like the other.

Sorry for the confusion.

Would you like a cup of tea?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Jace on 26 Oct 2008, 07:42
Would you like a cup of tea?

Only if it comes with women.


"Damn girl, you make my dick erect."
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Inlander on 26 Oct 2008, 21:26
One cup of Lady Grey for the man with the pants, coming right up.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Slick on 28 Oct 2008, 18:02
At the zine fair this weekend I was looking at my friend's zine from last year again and saw the amazing section he had on pick-up lines. Exerpts:
It is kind of a crude and vulgar sort of zine.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Inlander on 28 Oct 2008, 18:17
is your name magic johnson because i've got a magic johnson

"I've got a magic johnson, let me put my balls in your hoop."

It doesn't bear thinking about too much. Or at all.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 28 Oct 2008, 19:46
I'd be surprised to see it work though, considering Magic Johnson has AIDS.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 04 Nov 2008, 11:06
Where do you think the Magic comes from?
ABACAVIR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abacavir)A!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Vidya on 04 Nov 2008, 22:16
I'd be surprised to see it work though, considering Magic Johnson has AIDS.

"But, if you had AIDS we could have sex all we want with no consequences!"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 04 Nov 2008, 22:18
"I voted for Obama yesterday. May I stick it in you?"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 05 Nov 2008, 16:28
That might work. (http://www.votergasm.org/Pledge.php)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 05 Nov 2008, 16:39
Man why was that link not posted a month ago?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Slick on 05 Nov 2008, 18:03
Quote
"Cybersex" does not satisfy the pledge, dorkwad.
Awesome.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: Ballard on 05 Nov 2008, 19:05
Quote
Achievement of a Votergasm during election-night sex is probable, but not guaranteed. Those encountering difficulty reaching Votergasm are encouraged to slow things down, talk about it, and reduce the pressure. Other techniques include the use of massage oils, toys, "dirty talk," "ballot stuffing," and "exit polls."

 :-D
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: MobyDickhole on 14 Nov 2008, 01:32
"hey, what's your favorite pick-up line"

"I Hate You (Because make-up sex is awesome)"

"I know I probably don't have a chance with you, but maybe you'll notice me now"

"I miss the good old days, when I could just walk up to someone like you and say that I think you're cute before taking you home to talk about how much we hate black people"
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: AanAllein on 14 Nov 2008, 04:34
Quote
"hey, what's your favorite pick-up line"

This seems like the sort of line that would actually work. I've never used a pick-up line myself, so I'm hardly an impeccably judge here.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: calenlass on 15 Nov 2008, 06:34
Man why was that link not posted a month ago?


I would have, but decided that people must already know about it and even if they didn't, I might say something wrong in the post.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: öde on 15 Nov 2008, 09:44
Their mouths taste like ashtrays.

"I heard smoking makes your mouth taste like ash" got me my first makeouts.

Her mouth didn't taste of ash, luckily.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Line Thread
Post by: David_Dovey on 15 Nov 2008, 09:55
Man why was that link not posted a month ago?

I've seen that link before, and I'm absolutely sure it was on here i.e; it was?