Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Tyler on 31 Jan 2009, 18:17

Title: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Tyler on 31 Jan 2009, 18:17
So when helping prepare dinner, I was straining some egg noodles and attemptign to start cooking the meat for my beef stroganoff. I quickly turned on the stove top, and returned to other prep work. Unfortunately I turned on the wrong burner, and set fire to the recipe I was using, which I so wisely left atop another burner. Disaster was averted, as I managed to quickly douse my culinary directions and get on to business.

More importantly, I was doing as such while watching Demolition Man, starring the wonderful Wesley Snipes. I could not help but thoroughly enjoy the sheer number of anachronisms throughout the plot. By the time credits rolled, it dawned on me that so many things could be made better with fashionings of another time period.

So this challenge is now sent to you, forums. I want you to rewrite an existing movie scene with blatantly obvious anachronisms from either the past or future.

Muskets in Star Wars, Russell Crowe sipping on a beer between battles in Gladiator, Rick and Sam discussing the Packers chances of winning the Super Bowl in Casablanca.

Show me what you've got.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Dazed on 31 Jan 2009, 18:34
Frodo valiantly sacrifices himself, for the good of Middle Earth, by detonating a high-yield nuclear bomb in the center of Mount Doom.

Butch and Sundance survive their final standoff by rolling out of the building with M16s.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Tyler on 31 Jan 2009, 18:37
Elaborate! Scenes, not summaries!
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Patrick on 31 Jan 2009, 20:13
Muskets in Star Wars

In the final battle scene in The Patriot, ion cannon pulses are fired into the oncoming enemy as blaster rifles send their green and red beams across the battlefield.

But since the ion cannon functions as a contained version of an electromagnetic pulse, which only effects electronic equipment, it doesn't do shit, and the Brits lose even harder.

Mel Gibson stabs the one guy with a lightsaber.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: McTaggart on 31 Jan 2009, 21:03
Frodo valiantly sacrifices himself, for the good of Middle Earth, by detonating a high-yield nuclear bomb in the center of Mount Doom.

This was after they drew straws and Sam got the short one, but since he and that girl-hobbit were going to get married before he had to go and save Middle Earth, Frodo detonated it instead so Sam could return and live out his life with her.

:aerosmith:
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Alex C on 31 Jan 2009, 22:42
It's kinda sad how inconsequential a switch to muskets would have been for the Empire.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: tommydski on 06 Feb 2009, 10:55
(http://tekbone.homestead.com/files/bump.jpg)
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: mooface on 06 Feb 2009, 11:23
way to bump without actually contributing anything of value.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Puki on 06 Feb 2009, 12:15
...weighting the large femur bone of an unknown animal in his hand, the Moon Watcher shivered. Through his mind came the hurricane of images, out of which two were identifiable: the skull of aforementioned animal, laying by his feet, and the strange black slab of stone which filled his head with that unnerving high pitched sound. He started to get angry. He wanted to hurt the stone, but he couldn't remember where it was, so he unleashed his fury on the skull. Not realizing he still held the strong bone in his hand, he hit the skull, braking it into pieces. Surprised of the effect, he threw away the bone and covered his face.
 Like old, sturdy mechanism starting, his brain sent strange impulses that combined a thought. A new idea came. Slowly he pick up the bone again. He tried hitting the pile of bone fragments, once, two times, three times... With every hit he surveyed the damage he induced, the joy filled him even more! No more shall his tribe be thirsty! No more shall the High Walkers chase them away from the pond!

...

 After a few hours, he lead the strong ones of his tribe to the pond. They slowly followed him, fearing of the wrath of the Big MoFo, the biggest fighter of their rival tribe. Soon they've reached the cliff overhanging the pond, surveying the scene under them. The whole tribe of High Walkers was standing around the pond, some arguing and scuffling, some sitting and eating the meat of a large lizard, the sight of which induced saliva in Moon Watcher's warriors' mouths.
 With an animal grin on his face, the Moon Watcher screamed the challenge to the Big MoFo, demanding that his tribe leaves the pond for good, or suffer unthinkable wrath. Big MoFo stood on the spot, not moving, apprehension not dawning on his face. Moon Watcher jumped to the spot a few meters from B.MF, laughing at the surprise the big fighter will experience when he sees the Bone, a new concept, the Weapon, in his hands.
 Screaming his lungs off, Moon Watcher lifted his hands above his head, ready to hit and kill the unsuspecting enemy.
 Taken aback, Big MoFo pulled out his Magnum .45, and blasted the huge hole in Moon Watcher's chest. The evolution was a harsh mistress.
 "Bob, the apes are acting up again. I think it's time to pack up and leave." - dying Moon Watcher heard the noise Big Mofo produced, not knowing what it meant...

Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: clockworkjames on 06 Feb 2009, 21:58
When I said I would never leave you...
And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at OMG A MASSIVE DINOSAUR RUNFORYOURLIFE AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

      :-D
    / |,-
   /   |          :-o
_/  G_           ^
__|__>         A
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Switchblade on 07 Feb 2009, 05:29
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments wiould have been lost in time, like tears in rain. Good thing I Tivo'd them!"
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Dazed on 07 Feb 2009, 12:42
(I would like to gay marry you.)
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: count on 07 Feb 2009, 15:12
bladerunner:

"oh ... I dreamt of electric sheep"
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Johnny C on 07 Feb 2009, 17:29
SNAPE KILLS BEN KENOBI ON PAGE 606
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: lolwut on 13 Feb 2009, 06:31
Muskets in Star Wars

would this even be an anachronism though

i mean there are like infinity different planets out there at least one of them should be back in the gunpowder age
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: David_Dovey on 13 Feb 2009, 20:29
Didn't Tusken Raiders have bolt-action rifles? It sure looked like it. Maybe they fired plasma.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: David_Dovey on 13 Feb 2009, 21:22
I mean, ahem. Fuck you, nerds.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: lolwut on 14 Feb 2009, 04:18
Didn't Tusken Raiders have bolt-action rifles? It sure looked like it. Maybe they fired plasma.

they probably had bolt action plasma rifles

actually this is something that i want to look into, bbl
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Gurkburk on 14 Feb 2009, 05:20
Ty÷er I like how you pointed out Wesley Snipes is in demolition man and didn't mention Sylvester Stallone. That is just wrong.
Title: Re: I loved the car chase in Gone with the Wind
Post by: Inlander on 14 Feb 2009, 06:40
Pfft, Sly didn't peroxide his hair for the film. Why should we acknowledge someone who clearly wasn't committed to his role?