THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Siibillam-Law on 09 Feb 2009, 05:50
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We need a yo' mama thread!
I'll begin with a half-assed one, hopefully you can all do better
Yo mama so old she sat behind Jesus in the fourth grade
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Your mother would think this is a terrible thread idea, and her standards are low.
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fail
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yo mama's so fat she broke her leg and hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere
some even got on the mayor
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NOT THE MAYOR
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Someone just post the achewood where Phillipe is talking dirty with the dudes and lock this thread, someone.
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Yo mama so fat she's going to have serious health problems down the line.
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Yo' mama so ugly she had some plastic surgery and she looks alright now, I guess.
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Yo mama is so fat that she had to pay for two airline seats and this sparked off deep-seated self-esteem problems that had laid dormant since she was a somewhat overweight child, and when she got home she took a shotgun into the bath with her, put on a Joni Mitchell record and blew her brains out all over the wall and now you are an orphan and being beaten and molested daily in a foster home where nobody cares for you and you cannot possible escape from.
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Yo' mama so redundant she's yo' mama.
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You guys destroyed a perfect thread that should have ended after my first post. I hope you're happy with yourselfs.
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Yo' mama destroyed a perfect thread that should have ended after my first post. I hope you're happy with yourselfs.
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Sorry you are not a mod darryl.
Maybe you are not talking about Don Caballero enough.
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Sorry yo Mama's not a mod darryl.
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Yo mama so fat she will one day die pathetically and tragically of a heart ailment, and you will be forced to have her lifted out of the house via crane a la Gilbert Grape. Along the misery of having a dead mother, the crane will also break under the strain of her immense weight, and she will plummet through the floor, destroying the structure's integrity and leaving you homeless, because the insurance company refuses to cover dead fat mothers falling off of cranes. You will become hooked on crack, and anorexic, out of fear of winding up like your mother. Eventually, you will die alone and unloved in an alley, where your body will be discovered 3 weeks later.
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Sorry yo mama says you're adopted, Darryl.
ps i hope this is not true it would be very awkward
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(http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/8981/hawkingsk5.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)
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yo mamas so old she fell down and broke her hip, luckily she had life alert and was able to get an ambulance to come and pick her up.
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Yo' mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
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Yo momma teef so yella when she smiles traffic slows down.
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Yo' momma so fat the guys at Dunkin' Donuts want to cut her off but the shithead manager won't let 'em.
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Seriously man, they're all like "you see the size of that lady who comes in here all the time? Jesus christ man, she must be what, 200kg? Something like that. That's just not healthy man, I don't feel comfortable contributing to her health situation at all" and the manager is all like "YOU'RE NOT PAID TO THINK, YOU'RE PAID TO SELL DONUTS, NOW SELL SOME FUCKING DONUTS YOU FUCKS"
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yo mamma's so fat that someone else has already made the absurdist post I would have made so I guess now I'll just say yo mamma jokes aren't terribly funny. I mean, I have heard some hilarious ones, and I quite liked that hawking one, but, you know, why do you want to dump a whole bunch of junk down in a thread someplace? Wouldn't the world be much more fun to live in if people got really jazzed about everything they read because people got really thrilled about writing only things that they thought people would dig and man, I need a new avatar and I wish there was someway I could make my avatar the first two seconds of 'Heart Of The Sunrise' because that would be great.
p.s. man fuck you est for making shit funny and trying to post when I'm trying to post
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They're thinking about some kind of strike, but they're not in a union and they're on minimum wage so what can they do really?
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James I am just tellin' it like it is. Maybe his momma should rotate Dunkin' Donuts stores or something so they don't feel so bad.
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I mean, if she wants to be fat that's one thing. But when her problem starts to affect other people's lives she's got to maybe start thinking about the situation and being a little more respectful of other people's circumstances.
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Yo' mama so fat she got her owna Area Code.
Oh yeah, when I wanna visit her, I just look up 87S**T!
Oh snap.
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Your mother is so fat that in the near future when extremely obese women become sexually desirable as defined by the mainstream media, she will appear on the cover of various lewd magazines in very little clothing.
Then again, yo mama so fat that even a lotta clothing is a little clothing.
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Yo mama's so fat I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her
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Yo mama's so fat, she put every steamroller company out of business
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Your mother is really not all that fat at all, she just holds herself to an unrealistic standard due to the media's constant and ongoing presentation of unhealthily thin women as the ideal of feminine beauty.
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Pardon me Harry, but I would have to disagree. Bitch is fat.
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She's not fat Estaben, she's womanly.
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She's Curvy
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She's morbidly obese.
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Yo mama so fat I stand next to her to look thin.
It works, too.
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She's Thick
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yo momma so fat she achieved nuclear fusion, went supernova, and ate herself into a black hole after she ate that one last Twinkie.
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To quote Dovey, yo' mama so fat she got two myspace accounts.
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Yo' mama is so fat that she can no longer bear to look at herself in the mirror, no longer button the top of her pants. She ties a sweater around what used to be her waist so that nobody can see the fly from which a distended, stretchmarked belly balloons. She faces slight resistance from the doorframe against her drooping, engorged saddlebags, and has to ignore the stares as she goes about her daily, sedentary business. Her office job doesn't help her weight. She is a telemarketer, and a bad one at that - whenever anybody hangs up on her, she cannot help but shovel into her mouth yet one more handful of cheesy, salty snacks that she keeps in a Costco bucket underneath the desk.
Yo' mama is so fat that in her cubicle she has thousands and thousands of Cathy cartoons papering the walls that peel slightly from the fomcor in the humidity - having Cathy tell her that ack, she doesn't fit into her swimsuit anymore, either makes her feel infinitesimally better about herself. With the advent of the internet, she began using search engines to find images of those with impossibly perfect bodies - the movie stars, the porn stars, and the photoshopped alike.
Yo' mama is so fat that when she gets home from work that night, she thinks of how papa left. You left her too, you know - not in the same way, but everyone left her just the same. She sighs when she looks at the wedding photo (everyone looks so happy) that she still keeps on the mantle, and fingers the colt pistol in her meaty hands, and tosses it nimbly between shaking, sausagelike digits.
Yo' mama is so fat that she puts the muzzle in her mouth, and her swollen finger pulls flaccidly at the trigger.
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Yo' mama so fat, they had to cut off wide swaths of fat to put her in a coffin.
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Yo' mama's so fat that it actually has more to do with class and genetic predisposition so please stop calling her boom boom booty-ass cry at night and the children can hear her through the paper thin walls and they're sad that mommy is broken
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Yo' mama so fat they put the swathes of fat into another, smaller coffin. Kind of like a baby coffin, only full of fat. A lady passing by who didn't know your momma started crying because she thought it was a lady who died in childbirth being buried with her baby in a coffin by her side.
Someone told her what the deal was and she snickered a little before catching herself and saying "oh, I mean uh, that's so terrible" and leaving before she started laughing again.
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Yo mama so fat that when she gave birth to you it took the doctors 3 days to dig you out.
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Yo' mama so fat that I love her very much, and I just want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your dad, but I'd like for us to at least be friends. Do you want to go miniature golfing tomorrow, sport?
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Your mother is a nice lady, and you are very lucky to have her.
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Yo' mama so fat that I love her very much, and I just want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your dad, but I'd like for us to at least be friends. Do you want to go miniature golfing tomorrow, sport?
This is why it was a good thing this thread wasn't locked.
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Yo' mama so ugly we going to have to amputate.
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yeah initially i agreed with darryl but now i think you guys deserve some kind of award for saving this thread
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Your mother is very fat, but she's a seal, so it's natural and healthy. The fat insulates her from the viciously cold Antarctic oceans. Without it she would die.
Oh, and you're a seal also. In case you were wondering. Obviously, because your mother is a seal.
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Yo mama teeth so yellow she spit butter.
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Your mom so fat that we can all just go ahead and have a laugh at her expense
Ha - ha
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Yo' mama so lame, she thinks Garfield is funny!
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Your mother is very fat, but she's a seal, so it's natural and healthy. The fat insulates her from the viciously cold Antarctic oceans. Without it she would die.
Oh, and you're a seal also. In case you were wondering. Obviously, because your mother is a seal.
this. this is the best post.
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luckily she had life alert and was able to get an ambulance to come and pick her up.
Yeah. Lucky me. :roll:
S
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Yo' mama so old and crusty they cut off her leg and counted the rings to tell her age.
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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the chiropractor he brings in a backhoe.
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Your mama so fat, she posts online singles ads under "BBW"... which is misleading, you know, because of the second B. So, maybe just a "BW" from now on. Less hurt feelings and false expectations that way. Because she's fat.
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yo mama so old she lives in a retirement home and has alzheimers. The only way she remembers her life is when your dad reads about it from his notebook. You and your bratty brothers and sisters don't believe your dad and think he should move out. He believes and at the end of the story yo mama comes out of the haze and they spend a few glorious minutes together before she returns to her haze. It is magical.
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What a tear-jerking yo' mama joke
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Yo Mama so fat she ate the hamburger phone.
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Yo' mama so ugly she g-AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
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Your mother is so fat that you feel the need to make jokes about how fat she is, despite her being a genuinely nice lady.
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Yo mama so dumb, she tried to edit Wikipedia by writing on her computer screen.
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Your Mother's posteir is so large that it obtained its own field of gravity that causes small paperclips to orbit it.
I try my best.
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Everything with mass has a gravitational field.
Way to sneaky edit your post.
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Everything with mass has yo' mama.
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Yo' mama's so vain she thinks this post is about her.
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Yo' mama so old she was found wandering the museum, alone. She's okay, but she seems confused.
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I made something for yo mama (http://www.mediafire.com/file/qtmqihzgymj/mama.m4a)
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Yo' dawg, I heard you liked Yo' Mama jokes, so I put yo' mama inside yo' grandmama so you can laugh at yo' mama while you laugh at yo' mama.
That was terrible.
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Yo' dawg, I heard you liked Yo' Mama jokes, so I put yo' mama inside yo' grandmama so you can laugh at yo' mama while you laugh at yo' mama.
That was really fucking awesome.
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yo mama so fat... I'm lying yo mama is so frickin hot. How is her relationship with yo daddy. A little rocky right now you say. Excellent.
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No guys, more like the ones at the top of the page.
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Yo mama so fat she sucks cock for a living.
Oh wait, I guess those two are actually unrelated.
My bad.
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Yo mama so fat- BOOM!
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I guess now I'll just say yo mamma jokes aren't terribly funny.
Yo' mama is dead.
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Yo' mama . . .
a) so fat, turn to page 53.
b) so health-food obsessed, turn to page 78.
c) so career-minded, turn to page 96.
d) so middle-class, turn to page 122.
e) so gender flexible, turn to page 149.
f) is actually yo' sister, turn to page 203.
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Good one, Harry. Now we have to keep this thread going for another 201 pages, at least. What would your mother think about this?
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Yo mama claims Twilight is a literary masterpiece
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OH SNAP
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Yo' mama is not really fat, she is however pregnant with 9 kids. See she wanted a TV show on TLC and it seemed to her that taking an unhealthy amount of fertility drugs and having a litter of children was the best way to do that.
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What
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yo momma so fat she doesn't get orgasms anymore, her hips do.
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Oh come on.
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Yo' mama so fat Anders (http://anderslovesmaria.reneengstrom.com) wouldn't fuck her.
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Yo mama claims Twilight is a literary masterpiece
It start.
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Yo mama so fat and you wonder if you should start dieting soon because you eat pretty unhealthily and what if you're genetically predisposed to putting on weight?
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I mean these are things you have to think about as you get older.
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I am disappointed that I recorded a song for yo mama and she did not like it.
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Yo' mama is so fat, mainly due to extreme alcoholism and binge eating, which are addictions she developed after you turned out to be such a disappointment.
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Yo Mama - a haiku
Yo mama so fat -
so much like the rotund bear
before winter's fall.
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beautiful
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To quote Dovey, yo' mama so fat she got two myspace accounts.
Yo mama so fat I couldn't possibly take credit for this, because it is from a Jeffery Rowland comic.
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you're moma's so fat she can't see what's in front of her and has to look straight up to see the sky.
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Yo mama so dumb, she did not pass high school and had to drop out and get a full time job to support having a child at 17 and out of wedlock.
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Yo' mama is not really fat, she is however pregnant with 9 kids. See she wanted a TV show on TLC and it seemed to her that taking an unhealthy amount of fertility drugs and having a litter of children was the best way to do that.
wasn't it 8 kids totalling 14. I read we're not suppose to critisize her on MSN news or something... :roll:
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Yo' mama so fat that it is not so much funny as it is worrying. We're all concerned about her weight because really it is getting kind of ridiculous but, I don't know, is it really our place to interfere?
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Yo' Mama so fat her insurance policy tried to exclude her but instead excluded all of Maine.
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wasn't it 8 kids totalling 14. I read we're not suppose to critisize her on MSN news or something... :roll:
yes, but the 8 kids thing has already been done. here we are talking about your mother, she felt the need to outdo that woman and have 9.
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Your mother's so fat that there are totally different species living on her left and right buttocks. In the depths in between, we think life started.
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Your mother's so fat that there are totally different species living on her left and right buttocks. In the depths in between, we think life started.
Yo mama's so fat, we rolled up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's and her skates went flat, I got stuck in her butt-crack, they thought I was lost, but I got caught by the G-Strap.
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Yo momma such a slut she smoked more poles than the luftwaffe.
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...Tell me about yo mama
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Your mother is like a brick. Rough, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
Your mother is so fat that when they did surgery on her and taped back her rolls, a sandwich fell out.
^True story. Happened to the aunt.
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yo momma so fat she walks with her buttocks. she has also gotten used to using her legs as a second set of arms.
yo momma was so fat she grew out of the space-time continuum and traveled back in time when she used to be skinnier, and could fit in two airplane chairs. A child stops in front of her to say yo momma was so fat she grew out of the space-time continuum and traveled back in time when she used to be skinnier, and could fit in two airplane chairs. A child stops in front of her to say yo momma was so fat she grew out of the space-time continuum and traveled back in time when she used to be skinnier, and could fit in two airplane chairs. A child stops in front of her to say ...
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Your mother is like a brick. Rough, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
Your mother is so fat that when they did surgery on her and taped back her rolls, a sandwich fell out.
^True story. Happened to the aunt.
Gross, dude.
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Yo momma so stupid she thought Euler was a hockey player.
[I was coerced into putting this up, btw]
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Yo' mama so fat she OH GOD SHUT UP.
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Yo' mama is so fat that she tried to go to fat camp, but she couldn't fit through the door of the bus.
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Yo mama is so fat they had to take her away to be killed.
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Yo' mama so fat Oregon's climate is heavily influenced by the Pacific Ocean.
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Yo' mama so fat Japan's GDP is $33,596 USD per capita
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Yo' mama so fat that when Hulk Hogan wrestled in Japan in the early 90s they nicknamed him "Ichiban", or "Number One" and his moves were far more technical than the usual power-based moves used in US-based wrestling at the time.
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Yo' mama so goddamn motherfucking fat Kristi goddamn Yamaguchi and Mark motherfuckin' Ballas performed a shitdicking cha-cha-cha to a house band cover of Lionel THE GODDAMN FUCKING STEAMBOAT Ritchie's classic 1986 hit "Dancing on the Ceiling" for their GOD DAMNIT YOU GUYS FUCK YOU performance in the season 6 finals of Dancing With The FUCK YOU YOU CUNTS FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU Stars.
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OH FUCKING GOD DAMNIT SHE'S SO GOD DAMN FUCKING FAT
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Yo Yo Ma sewed that fat suit.
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I think est is sad.
About his mama.
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Est, trying to post a yo' mama joke after that brilliant tirade is like in school during project presentations, when you have to present your project right after that one kid that always overdoes it and shows up everyone in class.
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Yo-ho-ho man, sue for that tart.
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Yo momma so fat not even diabetes wants to be inside her.
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Yo' mama's fatter than the size font est just used.
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Exactly how brutal can we go with these without being banned? I am holding back my best ones that I like to keep stored up for retorts that shock someone so bad they fall silent and perhaps cry a little.
Only to be used to burn a bridge you know?
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i'm not sure but i wanna hear those ones.
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Yuma man's soft threat.
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Yo mama so fat, she ate her way out of an orphanage/morgue.
That didn't have any food.
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Yo' mama so fat that when Hulk Hogan wrestled in Japan in the early 90s they nicknamed him "Ichiban", or "Number One" and his moves were far more technical than the usual power-based moves used in US-based wrestling at the time.
Man really?
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Yo Yo Ma sewed that fat suit.
This is the winner.
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If yo mama was a font, she'd be all like 75 points or some shit. Maybe even 76. Fo' real. Probably arial, or something similar, 'cause she's a cheap knockoff. Of Helvetica.
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yo' moma so fa... oh, she's pregnant?
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Yo' mama so fat that when Hulk Hogan wrestled in Japan in the early 90s they nicknamed him "Ichiban", or "Number One" and his moves were far more technical than the usual power-based moves used in US-based wrestling at the time.
Yeah, I want to discuss this now.
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Your daughter is significantly overweight.
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yo mama so phat.
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Yo mama so fat Ferdinand Magellan is still trying to go around the world on her.
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Yo mama so fat Ferdinand Magellan is still trying to go around her.
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Yo' mama so fat she bends light rays.
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[BALEETED] (I did it for you)
(I can take it a few steps further if need be)
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Actually I'm sorely tempted to delete that post simply because it has absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever.
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Yo' mama so fat she taller when she lyin' down.
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Yo Mama so fat she bumped this thread without being near a computer.
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Yo Mama so fat she needs a quadruple bypass
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yo' mama so fat she's got her own special on TLC
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Oh that's just the worst.
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Yo mama is so fat she one starred in a dance interpretation of Gustav Holst's 'The Planets'.
She played Jupiter obviously, but your sister was Saturn and your dad was the sun.
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Yo mama is so unterstanding, she let you go to art school.
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Yo' mama so fat she can't live on land no more.
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Yo mama so fat that your dad has to cover her in flour just to have sex with her.
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Yo' mana so low that you can't cast anything anymore, you should keep an eye on that.
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I play Black Lotus
What now
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Yo' mama so fat people be tellin' jokes about her.
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Yo mama so fat she got like 3 different types of diabetes
She and Wilford Brimley are like really good friends actually just because all her medical supplies totally put food on his plate
And I mean Wilford isn't going to just let that go unthanked, he's a pretty good dude
He should probably shave though I mean really he looks like a Croatian farmer with that 'stache
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Yo' mama so fat they liposuction her every day for biodiesel.
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(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20090315.gif)
Game. Set. Match.
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Yo' mama so fat she buy pasties from a sailmaker.
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Yo' mama so fat fusion be starting at her core.
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Yo mama so huge that she tried using the Twin Towers as dildos (she is into DP) but when she sat on them she crushed them and the whole 9/11 thing was just a coverup.
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Can I please go mega brutal without mods getting angry before this closes?
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Yo' mama says it's past your bedtime.