THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: raoullefere on 05 Mar 2009, 16:53
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At the risk of this thread willing reality out of existence, what's the one thing (not person or creature!) that, did it not exist, would make this world a sweeter place for you?
Off the top of my head
Phillip's head and flathead screws (they should all be Robertson)
Screw-collar coaxial cables (they should invent a more effective push-on)
There's probably more, but these come easily to mind.
What would make your life better by not being?
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(http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p316/darkbluerabbit/why-we-suck.jpg)
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(http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/3357/1181370441679ji6.jpg)
Oh, that is so terribly bad of me.
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http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html
This?
Religious or not, I find this quite wrong.
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I love that website so much.
Although the Baby Jesus disturbs me a little bit. Because it looks like a baby.
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http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212
the comments afterwards are what's horrifying.
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pepsi shouldn't exist. coca-cola is just SO MUCH BETTER!
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Yeah, but Pepsi doesn't murder union leaders in Columbia.
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(http://www.armour-eckrich.com/images/whatsnew_readycrisp.jpg)
i am sorry but if you can't cook your own bacon, you don't deserve to eat bacon.
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I'm sorry for stealing from John Stewart, but I just had to one up Tania with this one:
(http://i422.photobucket.com/albums/pp309/direbacterium/baconnaise.jpg)
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No. You are wrong. I would vomit on your face if I actually tried baconnaise
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Not to nitpick, but you don't need to quote the post directly above yours. It's just a thing.
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No. You are wrong. I would vomit on your face if I actually tried baconnaise
Regardless of the fact that you've never tried it, and you don't really know, right?
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I know that I have not eaten pork in 11 years and that I absolutely loathe mayonnaise, so it is a fairly good guess that I would despise the product.
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Gotcha'.
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Gotcha'.
I'm so confused right now.
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tl;dr bacon + mayonnaise = fucking disgusting
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Apparently this is a new U2 record.
Album Cover Pic
I can think of literally no reason for there to be any U2 records, much less new ones.
What I am trying to communicate here is that there was already a massive surplus of U2 records and the existence of more is utterly redundant.
That album cover is just so fitting. "Equals? Equals what? Nothing Important? A gray shapeless mass with no substance?" - Yes
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you just don't get it because you're not as smart as bono.
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Tommy.....how can you be so correct?
Humans are supposed to be flawed, but your statement makes me believe that there are a few of our species that don't follow this rule
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i am sorry but if you can't cook your own bacon, you don't deserve to eat bacon.
But...but I was at work. And I didn't have access to a stove or pan. And I just wanted some bacon for my sandwich. I'm sorry :(
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i am sorry but if you can't cook your own bacon, you don't deserve to eat bacon.
lolololol...so funny out of context.
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(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y66/Spluff/BCRichWarlocktribe.jpg)
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If we're going to get rid of quick-fix bacon substitutes, then I insist we apply the same logic to jars containing both peanut butter and grape jelly. How hard is it to open two jars?
Baconnaise sounds like a coronary in a jar. But I am very afraid I'd try it if I got the chance.
Spluff, what's wrong with the Warlock?
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There's nothing wrong with pbj all mixed together. It's easier/less messy(kind of) for kids. When you are taking care of 7 children, its always awesome if they can make their own food. PBJs are perfect for this. With the two products getting mixed together, its less of a hassle for the kid, opening two jars, one usually being stuck(I'm looking at you, Jelly), then getting a big gob of jelly on your spoon/butterknife, and smearing it on your bread/hands/face/clothes/kitchen counter/kitchen sink/table, and then getting a big gob of peanut butter and doing the same. With the peanut butter and jelly packaged together, not only do kids think its cool, but its less of a mess because they only get one big gob of sticky gloop all over the place instead of two. So I am all for that.
I would not, however, want my kids(kidlings. Siblings. Whatever) having easy access to bacon. They don't need to bacon whenever they please.
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Spluff, what's wrong with the Warlock?
If you can't tell, it's already too late for you. The disease has gone terminal.
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Faux leather cushions.
Hell, faux leather in general.
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(http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh76/elduce1/img_7.jpg)
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Internet when I'm supposed to do important stuff. God damn you, internet!
God damn you, procrastinational habits!
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Humans are supposed to be flawed, but your statement makes me believe that there are a few of our species that don't follow this rule
The implication here seems to be that Tommy is perfect and without flaw. There's one other entity that has been described like this over the ages, and I don't think it very smart to implicate Tommy as the creator of all existence.
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If Tommy was the Lord, this thread wouldn't need to exist.
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If Tommy was the Lord, every dog would be a cat.
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If Tommy was the Lord, he wouldn't have hired a fan of monster movies to design the penis.
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If Tommy were the Lord, changing the appearance of your car on your satnav would change the appearance of your actual car.
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If Tommy were the Lord, you'd head over there instead of vice versa.
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If Tommy were the Lord, people would ejaculate contraceptives.
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(http://cassland.org/images/antivirus.jpg)
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Continuing the bacon thread: Bacon-wrapped hot dog with fried egg and cheese
(http://8.media.tumblr.com/i2dw5nf19jr3255xQr7yOzJuo1_500.jpg)
A lot of the things on This is Why You're Fat (http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/) shouldn't exist.
And a lot of the things on the same site are FRIKKEN' AWESOME.
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Yield signs. They're like indecisive stop signs. Either put a stop sign there or just let me turn dammit.
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A lot of the things on This is Why You're Fat (http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/) shouldn't exist.
That site is awesome, really want to make the bacon cheese pizza burger.
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What? Yield signs? Have you ever been to or lived in a rural area that is mostly dependent upon the shipping industry before? Keep in mind that in flat areas like Oklahoma (where it was first proposed in the US) or northern Iowa the visibility is usually good enough that mandatory full stops in all cases is a complete waste of time. Yield signs are a fairly decent compromise when you have masssive differences between peak and standard traffic plus service roads, state high ways and interstates all mashed together within one small area.
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BLT candles.
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c213/hey_there_fatty/BLT-Candles-2.jpg)
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What? Yield signs? Have you ever been to or lived in a rural area that is mostly dependent upon the shipping industry before? Keep in mind that in flat areas like Oklahoma (where it was first proposed in the US) or northern Iowa the visibility is usually good enough that mandatory full stops in all cases is a complete waste of time. Yield signs are a fairly decent compromise when you have masssive differences between peak and standard traffic plus service roads, state high ways and interstates all mashed together within one small area.
Dude just do what we Californians do: California stop! Just roll through that motherfucker. You are moving significantly slower than you were going. So if you actually do need to stop you can still do it. But not a full stop, because fuck stopping unless you absolutely have to.
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Good call on yield signs. They cause confusion in the indecisive motorist. And a confused, indecisive motorist is far more dangerous than either a confused motorist or an indecisive motorist.
Okay, that was just an experiment to see how often I could say the word "motorist" in a few sentences. I'm satisfied with the results.
Anyway, on the same topic of street-sign and driving related nonsense that shouldn't exist:
In some states in the U.S., every left turn at a stoplight requires a green arrow to go. In other states, it is permissible to turn left on a green light with no arrow, or after the arrow has passed, if there is no oncoming traffic.
This pisses me off in busy intersections, when I'm turning left and the guy across from me is turning left, because we're blocking each others' view of traffic, so neither of us can see if we should go or not. If we hesitate, someone behind us starts up honking their horn, or makes some insane dash around us. If we just go, we run the risk of getting broadsided. I hate this. Stoplights at intersections should be green-arrow only. Maybe it takes an extra minute, but I don't risk death for a left turn.
Is there some trick to this that I should know? I'm from California, where we quite sensibly have arrows instead of deathtraps (perhaps the only sensible thing we do). Do natives develop some manner of ESP to detect oncoming traffic? Or do you just embrace the madness, and live every day to the fullest, knowing that any left turn could end in death? "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die at a stoplight"?
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Dude just do what we Californians do: California stop! Just roll through that motherfucker. You are moving significantly slower than you were going. So if you actually do need to stop you can still do it. But not a full stop, because fuck stopping unless you absolutely have to.
...You realize that's like, the whole point of a yield sign, right? It just gives you the go ahead to do exactly that without having a cop riding your ass about it or teaching idiots that it's OK to roll through stop signs whenever you feel like it. Maybe there's a connection between that kinda thing and my cousin from Cali who keeps getting in low speed collisions while chatting on her cellphone and wearing gigantic sunglasses. Man, she is annoying.
Also, someone who can't figure out a yield sign is likely someone who is already confused pretty much all the time anyway. I really don't see how the yield sign is going to affect an idiot one way or the other. God forbid they get to an intersection at the same time as someone else; their head would probably explode.
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We should really just stick traffic circles in a lot of intersections. I see no reason why they are not much more common. You come to traffic circle, you enter traffic circle, you exit traffic circle at appropriate point. No stopping or wondering if you should stop. They're not great for really busy intersections, but in residential areas they are awesome.
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Screw-collar coaxial cables (they should invent a more effective push-on)
Oh god yes. I hate these... So much. I've never NOT spent at least three minutes fucking with these things. And when you're reaching around a TV, covering yourself in dust trying to screw something in THAT YOU CAN'T EVER SEE. Urgh.
I'm gonna go ahead and say:
(http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/1036/picture20008l.jpg)
And hell, this in general:
(http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/4291/mnkhummerkit600.jpg)
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We should really just stick traffic circles in a lot of intersections.
Can I change my answer? Because my new answer is traffic circles.
It's like Russian Roulette. With cars.
Or maybe like playing Musical chairs, but the loser has to play Russian Roulette.
Seriously, I got zero education on these bastards when I was in Driver's Ed, they just started popping up a few years ago here, as far as I know. They pretty much always sneak up on me, so I'm trying to figure this thing out at the last second, wondering "Okay, who has the right of way, again? Are there two lanes in this thing? Is that an inner lane or, like, an inside shoulder? Wait, which direction was I going again?
Traffic circles. It's like they were designed to torment me. I hereby rename Traffic Circles as "Centrifuges of Death!"
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I am starting to think you just might hate good ideas. As long as we're into declarations, I hereby declare your driving skill set to be legacy tech.
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I distrust newfangled contraptions that the kids these days come up with. With their damn loud "rock and roll" music and their long hair and these confounded "Games on Video" or whatever the devil they are. Get a job, you lousy hippies!
*shakes fist at young people* Get off my lawn! Get a haircut! Stop thinking up new, scary ideas!
Also, what the hell is "legacy tech", and why should this be insulting or offensive? I'm aware that my motor vehicle operational competence is being called into question, I just don't know what the hell you said after that.
Do... do I need to state that as a more emphatic declaration, prefaced by the word "hereby"? I don't know what the rules are. Normally, when somebody impugns my driving skills I just shake my fist angrily at them and make broadly generalized statements about the worthlessness of their generation.
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Traffic circles. It's like they were designed to torment me. I hereby rename Traffic Circles as "Centrifuges of Death!"
How to use a roundabout correctly (http://www.britishtourplans.com/roundabout.php)
Note: flashing orange lights are indicators or blinkers. These are used on roundabouts.
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(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c0/Masterdisguise.jpg)
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Yield signs. They're like indecisive stop signs. Either put a stop sign there or just let me turn dammit.
In Hobart, Tasmania, there's a crossroads in which one of the two intersecting roads has a stop sign on one corner, and the other road has a give way sign on one corner. I've been the passenger in a car on one road at this intersection, when there was also another car on the other road. Nobody had any clue who had right of way.
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How to use a roundabout correctly (http://www.britishtourplans.com/roundabout.php)
Note: flashing orange lights are indicators or blinkers. These are used on roundabouts.
But... it's British. I'm American. Now I'm even more confused. Oh God, now I'm really gonna screw up next time I run into one of these. I'm probably gonna try to go left instead of right, and get intimate with the grill of a Hummer or something.
Now I'm going to die horribly on a traffic circle... excuse me, on a Centrifuge of Death! I won't say it's all your fault, but I will probably come back from the dead to haunt you, anyway. I'm just a jerk like that.
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Also, what the hell is "legacy tech", and why should this be insulting or offensive? I'm aware that my motor vehicle operational competence is being called into question, I just don't know what the hell you said after that.
And now you know! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legacy_system)
TLDR version: Legacy tech is just a bastardized version of the term legacy system: ie, an older computer system/application that more or less works fine for the needs of the user but sometimes proves problematic for others simply because it's a different from the newer standards being adopted. For example, Microsoft would love for you to consider XP to be obsolete, but it's really more of a legacy system. The stuff still works, and many people won't make the switch unless they're dragged along kicking and screaming. Whether the term should really be considered a pejorative is actually rather debatable.
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(http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/posters/delgo/delgo1_large.gif)
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Thanks, Alex C!
See kids? You learn something every day. And knowing is half the battle. Or something.
Shit, my whole life is legacy tech.
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Galvanized iron plumbing.
High fructose corn syrup.
Freeway exits that come immediately after onramps so that outgoing and incoming traffic have to weave through each other.
Hard plastic clamshell packaging.
Non-bimetal sawzall blades.
The pull-string Band-Aid wrapper.
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High fructose corn syrup.
Freeway exits that come immediately after onramps so that outgoing and incoming traffic have to weave through each other.
Not sure about the rest, but I sure as hell agree with the above two.
Also, while on the subject of things that don't exist, time for an obscure anime reference.
(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/8025/725y.th.jpg) (http://img17.imageshack.us/my.php?image=725y.jpg)
This shit adaptation of a great game should have NEVER existed
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(http://www.mattwilson.tv/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/heinz1.jpg)
This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!
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We should really just stick traffic circles in a lot of intersections. I see no reason why they are not much more common. You come to traffic circle, you enter traffic circle, you exit traffic circle at appropriate point. No stopping or wondering if you should stop. They're not great for really busy intersections, but in residential areas they are awesome.
You know, they tried this in my hometown back in California. But by 'installing a traffic circle' they meant 'put an ugly-ass concrete circle in the middle of the fucking road,' which people just skim by using the straightest line possible, often grazing it, which could potentially cause them to spin out or roll their big-assed SUVs. They didn't even put it at a 4-way stop intersection, it was just a 2-way stop to give way to traffic running on L Street.
Basically, this is a goddamn terrible idea if you do it the way I've seen it done. If you do it the way the Brits do on the motorway (except in the proper direction, lawl), you'll be fine, but there really isn't any way to do that in suburban America unless you enjoy arguing with homeowners about just how much of their front yard you're going to assfuck when you put in a circle wide enough to turn safely around at 15mph in any conditions.
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But... it's British. I'm American. Now I'm even more confused. Oh God, now I'm really gonna screw up next time I run into one of these. I'm probably gonna try to go left instead of right, and get intimate with the grill of a Hummer or something.
Now I'm going to die horribly on a traffic circle... excuse me, on a Centrifuge of Death! I won't say it's all your fault, but I will probably come back from the dead to haunt you, anyway. I'm just a jerk like that.
Well, the nice thing about roundabouts or traffic circles is that it doesn't matter which way round you go the rules are the same: give way on the driver's side; inside lane for more than half a rotation, outside lane for less than half.
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put an ugly-ass concrete circle in the middle of the fucking road,
There's some like that here too. AND tehre are stop signs at the entrances/exits. Shit stupid.
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I live near this badboy. I avoid it at all costs.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Meet the Magic Roundabout! Definitely a Centrifuge of Death if ever I saw one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Hemel_Hempstead) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Hemel_Hempstead))
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That is the worst roundabout i have ever seen. Now i see why people have problems with them.
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That bastard roundabout is the worst thing. Ugghh.
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(http://www.mattwilson.tv/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/heinz1.jpg)
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
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Reliant Robin
(http://www.crainium.net/jdjArchives/TopGearShuttle.jpg)
It's pointed at one end, Paul! It makes for good spacecraft.
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oval/square roundabouts
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(http://www.mattwilson.tv/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/heinz1.jpg)
This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!
I thought that was THE coolest thing, when I was 8 or 9.
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In Hobart, Tasmania, there's a crossroads in which one of the two intersecting roads has a stop sign on one corner, and the other road has a give way sign on one corner. I've been the passenger in a car on one road at this intersection, when there was also another car on the other road. Nobody had any clue who had right of way.
The idea is that in Hobart, nobody has the right of way. You're all essentially stagnating by being there, counting down the sad moments 'till your unavoidable demise, so why bother moving?
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They clearly expected there to never be enough people in Hobart for there to be two people on the intersection at once.
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Dude just do what we Californians do: California stop! Just roll through that motherfucker. You are moving significantly slower than you were going. So if you actually do need to stop you can still do it. But not a full stop, because fuck stopping unless you absolutely have to.
Or do the Providence Yield: Floor it without looking and let the main road yield to you!
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w00t Rhode Island!
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(pic)
This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!
I thought that was THE coolest thing, when I was 8 or 9.
Me too! That and the purple sunblock that turns invisible when you rub it in properly.
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(http://www.awesomeology.com/wp-content/2008/04/brief_diversion_safe2.jpg)
According to the blog where I stumbled across these monstrosities:
The “Underwear / Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Underwear / Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).
Why was this created?!
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Speaking of shit that should not exist.....
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That's actually quite a neat idea.
Devoid of class, but it would probably work.
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Hahaha what a place for a weed stash.
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Yeah that is clever in a "we had to destroy the village in order to save it" kind of way.
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Yeah that is clever in a "we had to destroy millions of people in order to have peace" kind of way.
I'm feeling a bit more WATCHMEN tonight.
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w00t Rhode Island!
I could do without Rhode Island. It's just minor-league sports teams and cheating exes.
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(http://www.bibliocook.com/archives/tinnedpotatoes.jpg)
Guys. Peel your own goddamn potatoes. It is not a difficult concept.
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And hell, this in general:
(http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/4291/mnkhummerkit600.jpg)
I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.
(http://www.aeromedix.com/images/aeromedix/travelacc/traveljohn_xl.jpg)
I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.
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Tough shit disabled people or other people that have problems with peeing when they're not near a toilet.
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Heh, true! I did kind of forget about that. Oh well.
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(http://www.bibliocook.com/archives/tinnedpotatoes.jpg)
Guys. Peel your own goddamn potatoes. It is not a difficult concept.
Er, these are not simply peeled potatoes; they're new potatoes, i.e. immature potatoes*. Not the same thing as what you buy in a bag. For one thing, far as I know, they don't store as well as mature potatoes do, or at least don't taste like new potatoes after storage. You either get 'em in season (spring and early summer only) or in a can. No other options.
As for peeling, new potatoes are better with the skin on...but that doesn't can well, I guess, or perhaps not everyone likes them this way (or they're being subbed with prepared mature potatoes). Hence the peeling.
*Or are supposed to be. I've heard of some chicanery in this.
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I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.
Christ, what's with the misplaced anger? I can understand confusion at these things but what could ever make you hate a portable urinal?
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When he was a kid I bet all the other kids would use those things and throw them at him. It's the only explanation.
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When he was a kid I bet all the other kids would use those things and throw them at him. It's the only explanation.
Yes, but without these handy dandy items they might go back to just pissing directly on him. He should be glad they exist. Unless, of course, he'd rather have it warm.
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Lets move on people
(http://www.stupid.com/Merchant2/graphics/products/baconstrip-2.jpg)
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oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.
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Drat. None of my bandages ever come with a free toy.
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Oh man, if you accidentally slice your finger open, you can slice it shut, too.
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Isn't that kinda like pooping where you eat? Or eating where you poop...?
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I wasn't specifically objecting to the potatoes in that picture, I just couldn't find a photo of the peeled potatoes we sell at work. I also don't understand ready-mashed potato. For one thing it tastes nasty.
I have strong feelings about potatoes.
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oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.
You can buy it here. (http://www.stupid.com/fun/BADH.html) I still think it is kind of dumb.
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I have strong feelings about potatoes.
You do live like inches from Wales.
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I wasn't specifically objecting to the potatoes in that picture, I just couldn't find a photo of the peeled potatoes we sell at work. I also don't understand ready-mashed potato. For one thing it tastes nasty.
I have strong feelings about potatoes.
I'm going to reveal how far in the boonies I must live. I have never, ever seen what you are talking about (the only peeled potatoes one can buy here (so far as I know) are the canned new potatoes). Unless ready-mashed is near Wales-speak for potato flakes, i.e. instant. Those I have could tell* many curious tales about. But not here.
edit: could tell. Have could tell. Egad, I am going insane. Maybe I have crazy-making bugs in my breed brood this hair on my face.
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I have strong feelings about potatoes.
You do live like inches from Wales.
Ireland is the potato country, man. Wales is all about leeks.
Which leads me to conclude that the Irish Sea must be made out of leek-and-potato soup.
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I wondered about that. But I've no idea what's eaten in Wales, other than sheep.
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A pint of stout with an egg in it.
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(http://www.asontvinfomercials.com/images/prod_main/snuggie.jpg)
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Yeah dude. A fucking BOOKLIGHT?
It needs to come with about ten liters of Flavor Aid :-D
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There's something that shouldn't exist too.
Flavor Aid. When you're too ghetto to buy real Kool-Aid.
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Kidney stones.
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http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/board,1.0.html
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Leave them to be strange, they're easily ignored.
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Pacifiers shaped like penises.
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Guys.
Your irrational hatred for roundabouts, comfortable sweaters and peeled potatoes is cool and all, but,
Nuclear weapons.
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Why you gotta be that guy
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The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion
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floyd rose tremolo...
if you say you can tune it. you're a fucking liar...
V (<thats my downward pointing arrow...so is that>) V liar.
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I can tune them fine, but stringing them is something of a bitch.
Auschwitz.
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Guns
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Cancer.
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oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.
Sorry I'm late with this reply but the free toy is an itty-bitty plastic pig. The pirate band-aids come with an itty-bitty pirate ducky.
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Katheine, I always suspected some people are having more fun than me, but you're proof. I don't even get worthless toys in my cereal anymore. :-(
Interesting how this thread is taking a turn from the mundane to the profound.
Yeah, KickThatBathProf, cancer is animate. But a nice thought. I got a long list of that sort myself.
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On the subject of guitars, I would like to submit that Fender Custom Shop-made replica of Eddie Van Halen's Frankenstrat. If I wanted cigarette burns on my guitar, I would put them there myself instead of paying $25,500 for a pre-beaten hunk of shit.
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Fecal contamination of drinking water.
Now that's some shit that should not exist.
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Cancer is not inanimate, I think?
That would be correct.
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Cigarettes.
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I disagree but I respect your opinion.
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navel peircings....
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I disagree but I respect your opinion.
I actually agree with him. Reason: cigars are so much fucking radder. Also, pipes.
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Also, pipes.
Yes
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Televisions.
yesterday while watching television, an advertisement came up for a movie and in the corner of that advertisement was another advertisement for mcdonalds. it was one advertisement acting as advertising space for another advertisement. ads within ads. maybe this isn't all that new a thing but it was the first time i had ever seen anything like this and it really creeped the hell out of me.
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Yo Dawg, I heard you like ads.
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(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0451191137.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)
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(http://www.aeromedix.com/images/aeromedix/travelacc/traveljohn_xl.jpg)
I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.
Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...
-
Ayn Rand
Yeah but have you looked at the kinds of scholarships you can get for writing essays on that stuff? Holy F. I don't care how bad it is I can't wait till my library gets it back in stock so I can make some MON-AY!
-
I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.
They could be useful now that Ryanair is going to charge passengers for the use of the toilet - though I suppose they might cost more...
-
Sex toy for dogs (http://www.hotdollfordog.com/)
-
Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...
Go out the cockpit door ya pussy.
VX Nerve Agent.
-
Some kinds of novelty underwear (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_13&listing_id=6577234&ga_search_query=beef+jerky&ga_search_type=tag_title)
Breakfast cereals that are 50% sugar.
-
Sorry I'm late with this reply but the free toy is an itty-bitty plastic pig.
that's what i figured, but deep deep down part of me was clinging to the hope that it might just be a strip of raw bacon.
-
Fecal contamination of drinking water.
Now that's some shit that should not exist.
Actually, it's existed for quite a long time now. Considering world population these days, it may be a miracle that as little fecal contam. exists as does. Believe it or not, I live in the U.S. and know people who have no access to a sewage system... and won't (or can't) pay for a septic tank. After all, there's that handy creek.
Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...
I suppose hanging the relevant part of your anatomy out the window is out of the question. It'd make for some interesting stories on the local news.
Sex toy for dogs (http://www.hotdollfordog.com/)
Unbelievable. I mean it. This has to be a joke, right?
-
Well hey, if it stops the dog from humping your leg . . .
-
Given that it's shaped like a dog, not to mention the ridiculous description, it's probably an elaborate joke.
But not as elaborate as ChristWire.
-
(http://media.timeoutnewyork.com/resizeImage/htdocs/export_images/621/621.x600.out.RabbitHabbit.silo.jpg?)
the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope
-
What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?
-
What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?
it has a day job as a pez dispenser
-
this information may not be up to date, but apparently the sale of sex toys is still illegal in - georgia, alabama, texas, kansas, louisiana, virginia, and colorado.
maybe you and your girlfriend could move to one of those states instead.
-
unfortunately i live in canada so that is not an option...maybe we should move to newfoundland...or iqaluit mayhaps
-
Sex toy for dogs (http://www.hotdollfordog.com/)
Unbelievable. I mean it. This has to be a joke, right?
(http://photos-d.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v2189/31/12/50835618093/n50835618093_1274587_3260.jpg)
looks real
-
Horse porn.
-
this information may not be up to date, but apparently the sale of sex toys is still illegal in - georgia, alabama, texas, kansas, louisiana, virginia, and colorado.
maybe you and your girlfriend could move to one of those states instead.
You can take Virginia off the list.
If it were the case then The Pink Banana (http://www.thepinkbanana.com/) (NSFW also NSFPWHP*)would not be in business.
Not Safe For People Who Hate Pink
-
the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope
"If I can't make it happen, you can't enjoy it" is a terrible stance to have on anything in the context of a relationship.
-
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
-
Fonts below size 5.
-
Waste lakes at hog farms. Now that is some shit that should not exist.
-
You guys have made puns about literal poo that should not exist like seven times
-
America Online.
-
Horrified by the thought of the Hotdoll, the sex toy for dogs (although lovedoll might be more accurate than sex toy), I ran it down. In a monster truck. Jeph inspires me, betimes. Seriously, though, the Hotdoll does exist, but seems to be merely a prototype mocked up by a French product designer, one Clement Eloy http://www.linkedin.com/pub/3/735/732 (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/3/735/732), and is not for general sale... yet. So, technically, it does exist, but not commercially, and may never. Kind of like the Chevy Volt. My guess is that Eloy has made up a few models for special friends (there seem to be multiple sizes) in return for getting their dogs to pose with it. In other words, what he's really created is dog porn.
And yes, that shouldn't exist, since dogs, so far as I know, tend to have little disposable income.
-
The idea of canine auto-eroticism* pornography bothers me substantially more than the idea of a love doll for dogs in itself.
Why did you even point that out.
*CANINE EROTIC DANCING
-
the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope
"If I can't make it happen, you can't enjoy it" is a terrible stance to have on anything in the context of a relationship.
this is true but i'm pretty sure that i've been "making it happen"...
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet
-
Grey's Anatomy.
-
Seconded
-
Parker guitars
-
What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?
(Before reading on, one should keep in mind that supersheep's current avatar is Philipe)
Did anyone else read this in Philipe's voice? It made me giggle.
-
*CANINE EROTIC DANCING
*CANINE EROTIC DANCING
*CANINE EROTIC DANCING
*CANINE EROTIC DANCING
-
In my mind, Allybee is always Phillipe and Trollstormur is always Liebot.
Nothing to do with avatars, that is just the mental image I have for both of them.
I've never even thought of that before, but now that is what I will do. I think most of my posts should be read like Roast Beef. Because I gots The Depression, that's why.
-
But, but... everyone should read Achewood...
And my contribution to this thread:
(http://www.millionlooks.com/images/uggs-boots.jpg)
-
Pics that don't work.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9_amg-Aos4
Hawaii Chair, yeah.
-
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet
Sorry (http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885440) man.
-
Asher Roth - I Love College (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRVFfgoIKcg)
I double dog dare you to listen to the whole thing through.
-
Asher Roth is not that bad.
This song is, but I can kinda stand him otherwise.
-
i actually kind of liked that song. hmm.
grapefruit juice should not exist.
-
No, it shouldn't! Especially because I used to love it and now I can't have it. At all. Ever again.
Apparently it interferes with the absorption of certain medicines from your gut.
-
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet
Sorry (http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885440) man.
that was the best peice of sex toy related humor I've seen in 3 days...no, make that a week.
-
Grapefruit Juice? No.
Grapefruit Soda? Yes. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ting_(soft_drink))
-
And hell, this in general:
[image]hummer[/image]
I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.
No, actually. Unless it is a proper hummer it is really a mediocre over-weight turd. The hummer in that picture was bright yellow, ergo it is not an unbeatable off-road vehicle.
-
The idea of canine auto-eroticism* pornography bothers me substantially more than the idea of a love doll for dogs in itself.
Why did you even point that out.
We must, all of us, confront the evils of this world. Even the disgusting ones. Or perhaps I'm an ineffable bastard. Take your pick.
Sorry (http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885440) man.
Somehow that may* me feel loads better. Not that I'm in competition with a dildo, of course.
it is really a mediocre over-weight turd.
A succinct definition of far too many SUVs. These are really more like mini-vans with whopping, thirsty engines and jacked-up suspension systems that confer the ability to crush 'shorter' cars in what might otherwise be a fenderbender (no, not a good thing) and do a rollover with the help of a good stiff breeze.
Edit: *made, dammit.
-
And hell, this in general:
[image]hummer[/image]
I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.
No, actually. Unless it is a proper hummer it is really a mediocre over-weight turd. The hummer in that picture was bright yellow, ergo it is not an unbeatable off-road vehicle.
It depends. Obviously the Humvee (military use) is very goodl. The civilian models, branded as the Hummer, vary. The Hummer H1 is a good off road vehicle, and the only one of the civilian models to actually be based upon the humvee. The H2 (which I believe is the one pictured) is awful, and the the H3 isn't bad.
-
Doesn't do much to defend against IUDs, from what I have come to understand from AFN's (Armed Forces Network) little infomercials regarding their new smaller-size troop transport vehicles.
-
Best typo of the month.
-
You guys have made puns about literal poo that should not exist like seven times
Join the fun and post your own contribution to the micro-meme! I was going to do skid marks next but I'll let you introduce that one.
Leftovers after colonoscopy prep that interfere with the exam. Now that's some shit that should not exist.
-
I feel like taking a jab at Jeff Buckley's comic just for the hell of it. Can I do that here?
I'd also like to include Harry Potter slashfics, futanari imageboards, Imagine Babyz (even if it has been already), and dare I say /b/.
-
Do you mean Tim Buckley? Jeff Buckley is (was) a singer/songwriter. Best known for his fabulous cover of "Hallelujah."
-
Hah, completely forgot about his father. Man, what a tragic family. So much talent, and they both died so young...
-
Yeah, see, and I had found that whole thing confusing because I had almost thankfully forgotten about the CAD Tim Buckley. I was confused as hell for a moment there.
-
Tim Buckley (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/CTRL_ALT_Delete).
-
Best typo of the month.
do you mean the fact that he said intra-uterine device instead of incindiary explosive device?
ones birth control.
ones a bomb.
and i may have misspelled both.
-
Spluff, what's wrong with the Warlock?
There is nothing wrong with the Warlock, in fact, there is so much right about it. The Warlock has been known to kill and devour less fierce looking guitars for looking at it wrong.
-
There's nothing wrong with the Warlock.
The holocaust was a great event for all races of the world.
Killing children is a perfectly acceptable way to pass time.
All of these statements are false.
-
Best typo of the month.
do you mean the fact that he said intra-uterine device instead of incindiary explosive device?
ones birth control.
ones a bomb.
and i may have misspelled both.
Yes I am pretty sure that is what they meant. I am leaving it because it is that awesome.
-
Two of these statements are false.
FYP.
What the hell do you do to spend your time? Excercise? Engage in productive behavior?
.. queer
-
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3369612/Ugg-Boots-become-must-have-fashion-accessory-for-celebrity-men.html
-
Two of these statements are false.
FYP.
What the hell do you do to spend your time? Excercise? Engage in productive behavior?
.. queer
I sleep and work. This is all I do.
-
[link to story about ugg boots]
While we're talking about terrible footwear choices: sneakers with suits or suit-pants.
No, no, a thousand times no. You know how we look back at photos from the 80s, all leg-warmers and shoulder-pads and acid-washed denim jackets, and we say to ourselves "What on earth were they thinking?" Sneakers with suits are this decade's acid-washed denim jackets
-
Harry, are we considering chucks to be sneakers? If so, I think this man might disagree with you:
(http://estb.msn.com/i/75/A2DF6F7801E6848F62F67A2E88CFF.jpg)
-
He still looks silly.
-
oh hell yeah!
christopher eccle....eggle... ego....
*COUGH*leston was still better IMO
-
Harry, are we considering chucks to be sneakers? If so, I think this man might disagree with you:
A THOUSAND TIMES.
-
Ugg Boots
Man okay let's face it, the rest of DiCaprio's outfit isn't exactly amazing in and of itself. I bet if it were something like a '30s-era flight suit, things would be different.
I would go onstage wearing a '30s-era flight suit and Uggs.
-
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet
Sorry (http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885440) man.
lol this actually makes me feel a shit of a lot better...
-
This (http://www.cracked.com/article_16216_10-least-useful-ipod-accessories-money-can-buy.html).
-
Yeah cracked.com is pretty awful.
-
This (http://www.cracked.com/article_16216_10-least-useful-ipod-accessories-money-can-buy.html).
Good lord, yes. And every other I-pod accessory that's not a stereo. Maybe even some of those, since, judging by what I see at salvage stores, there are about twenty made for every I-Pod that has ever existed.
-
Correction: The only iPod-specific accessories that should exist are stereos and those 2 piece hard plastic cases that protect everything but the controls. I have one of those cases on my 2 gig Nano from 2006 and it still looks like new. (The case is all scratched up from being in my pocket, but that's easily solved with some car polishing compound. But, as long as the screen area isn't scratched to the point where you can't read the screen at all, what does it matter?
-
How about AK-47s, IEDs, and RPG-7s. None of those things should exist.
-
Eh, if they didnt exist, humanity would probably fall back onto the much more civilized Sharp Pointy Stick...
-
I'd agree to that provided we make an exemption for this weapon if it is ever successfully produced.
(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a207/Xyljin/RocketPropelledChainsaw.jpg)(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a207/Xyljin/ImageD.jpg)
-
Correction: The only iPod-specific accessories that should exist are stereos and those 2 piece hard plastic cases that protect everything but the controls. I have one of those cases on my 2 gig Nano from 2006 and it still looks like new. (The case is all scratched up from being in my pocket, but that's easily solved with some car polishing compound. But, as long as the screen area isn't scratched to the point where you can't read the screen at all, what does it matter?
What about this one?
(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e263/blooper663/P3180037.jpg)
Not only does it keep the iPod from getting scratched up, the case itself never gets scratched up either and it looks incredibly awesome.
-
Old rubber bands. Those that lost all stretch and usefulness and are just very dirty and awful. Those should not exist.
-
Allybee is always Phillipe
hey tommy, why do I always gotta be phillipe? can I be lyle for a few days
-
Naw, ally. Drunken Khar is totally lyle.
-
Kris your thumb looks gigantic in that picture.
-
What can I say, I'm all thumbs.
-
Things that should not exist: time differences. It pisses me off that I cannot talk to my girlfriend when it is convenient for both of us. Either I'm waking her up or I'm keeping her from going to bed, and so I would rather inconvenience myself, but goddddddfiosmemgsioemrg it is frustrating.
-
You guys live in different countries...?
-
Avec, he's doing a reality-type show on the other side of the world for a few months. Hence, the suckage.
-
Patrick, that's getting awfully close to the "willing reality out of existence" thing.
-
Little off subject, but I'm curious as to the location. Inform us, Patrick.
-
Avec, have you read the blog thread at all? I was sure that he mentioned it in there. I don't know how much he wants to reveal, but he is in Southern Europe and she is in the Northern North America.
-
Actually I am not on the planet at all
Shit I did not mean to threadjack
that's getting awfully close to the "willing reality out of existence" thing.
I will not deny this in the slightest
-
He's in Turkey. The program he's participating in is a Yağlı güreş (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_wrestling) contest, which is why everyone wants to see youtube films of him.
Originally, matches had no set duration and could go on for one or two days, until one man was able to establish superiority
Jeebus.
-
the peice of shit that sent me this
Hello
My name is Rose,Am from Bentin Illinos,Am new to this Site someone directed me there and when i saw your Item on (jeepforum.com) and your comment am interested in purchasing it,however i want you to tell me more about the Item you posted,also i want you to resend me the pics..My form of payment is a Cashier Check Or Money Order...I will responsible for the shipping and Handling and it would be added to the payment you would receive ok?So the remain money will be transfer to my shipper because am paying you from my Salary pay check..
I guess my shipper can come to you for the pick up?
How much is the final asking price?
If you are ok with this kindly email me your full:
Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Phone Number:
As soon as this is provided i will issue and mail out the payment and it will delivered to you the second day you send your address because it is second day delivery, unfailingly via Fedex or UPS mail.
Thanks and God bless you.
and i was dumb enough to give my phne number, last name and address to the person
-
no I am selling my jeep on a forum and they got me through my ad.
I am (rightfully)feeling like such a dumbass right now.
-
What the hell are you talking about?
-
scam emails
are shit that should not exist.
-
I think some people read spam emails with their eyes closed, and the spammers know it. How could anyone write the following with a straight face?
Some customers have been receiving an email claiming to be from Barclays advising them to follow a link to what appear to be a Barclays web site, where they are prompted to enter their personal Online Banking details. Barclays is in no way involved with this email and the web site does not belong to us.
Barclays is proud to announce about their new updated secure system. Due to the recent update of the servers, you are requested to please update your account info at the following link:
or this:
Dear Friend,
GREETINGS FROM THE UK HOUSE OF PARLIAMENT
I am Diane Abbott MP.
[...]
If you receive a version of this email, which claims to be from Diane Abbott MP and may mention a "charitable" or "profitable project", ignore immediately as it is not from me nor anyone connected to me.
-
scam emails
So you were scammed into telling someone your name, address, and phone number?
-
Like a retard that just discovered the internet yesterday.
yep.
though only my last name, address and phone nuber :|
-
I give them.... 4 hours before they have your social security number, access to your visa and a week to get a copy of your passport.
-
its a real possibility.
-
Literally thousands of people and organisations have my name, address, and phone number. I'm not sure how hard it is to look up the information but I doubt it would take a team of geniuses and a supercomputer. Why does everyone freak out about their 'personal details' not being a secret?
-
You know another really easy way to get someone's name, address and phone number?
The motherfucking phone book.
-
I was at this pub last night, and there was the gorgeous woman. We started talking talking about our shared love for Barry White. Everything was going great until she asked for my name and phone number. "I'd like to continue this conversation with dinner and a bottle of wine at my place sometime," indeed. Try to steal my identity will she!
Honestly, though, the worst you're going to get is junk mail and telemarketing calls.
-
It's not like you gave this person your social security number or bank account number. Just relax maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
-
He's in Turkey. The program he's participating in is a Yağlı güreş (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_wrestling) contest, which is why everyone wants to see youtube films of him.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/Pehlivanlar.jpg)
...epic moustaches in this sport.
-
I think that's more a Turkish thing than a Turkish Wrestling thing.
-
You know another really easy way to get someone's name, address and phone number?
The motherfucking phone book.
my bank and credit union said that, only with a giggle and the motherfucking part was said with their eyes. :-(
but i feel better now!
-
I was wondering how the discussion of ID theft fit into the thread, then it hit me:
ID numbers
Marketing Lists
accessible databases of personal info
Bank accounts
The internet as is
But, of course, if these things didn't exist, then my earlier fear that we might all disappear when it was posted might come true. po
-
of
So I take it back.
Did we all blink out of existence for a second?
Brought to you by the Campaign to Move Raoullefere Beyond Beyonce
-
Most kinds of porn shouldn't exist. I mean, to each their own in some cases, but scat fetishes? Really?
-
Why not? It's fucking sick.
-
Why not? It's fucking sick.
So is any kind of sex outside of marriage. It should be banned.
-
those homosexuals and their goddamn agenda, it's disgusting
-
those homosexuals and their goddamn agenda, it's disgusting
We're moving you up the list, sunshine.
-
Next on topic: people who don't like
in flames
We don't really need those.
-
In your eyes, sure. But it doesn't hurt you or affect you negatively, so it's none of your business.
Well, true. Disregard my earlier post, I am a dickhead.
-
Yeah, kinda. But at least you had the cajones to admit that you were being harsh. I think everyone should be accepted for who they are!
Except for my sister.
-
I am a dickhead.
Well, your Avatar does support that. Literally a robo-dick head, I suppose.
Meanwhile...
What the HELL is going on here? How did we get from inanimate objects to sex?
*whisper whisper*
Oh. Okay, I get that.
Well, still, be careful. One of you is going to will sex out of existence. Trust me, none of us want that. At the very least, all we'd have to talk about then are our bowel movements.
Vent on the inanimate only, please. Let politics and biological functions get their own threads. Like, almost every other freaking thread on the forum.
-
Styrene diffuser panels for fluorescent lights.
Yugos.
Diet books.
-
uncomfortable wrist-supports on keyboards.
-
Yugos.
Yugos are fucking great unless you are forced to drive one.
They provide entertainment. I am glad that they exist.
-
Dude Yugos are the coolest fucking cars ever, I want one. I see those things all the time here and I really really really want to buy one (I could probably afford one, I have like $50 so I should be set) and take it back to the States when I move back.
Something that shouldn't exist: soap operas.
-
self help books.
You should either try and help yourself, or help your friends, you should not simply give money to some perma-tanned, teeth whitened, manipulative gitwizard who claims that you can get ahead in life through lying your way to the top.
On the same note "dating" books, partially for me because they take away any mystery and rommance about the whole thing, and partially because there is just something wrong about them, its like they are the Great Old Ones of the literature world.
-
Kudzu. It ruins what few landscapes we have in the South, and also houses a lot of snakes.
-
Kudzu has actually been moving north, too. And quickly.
-
It's the stupid tourists going into the South, man. They always hear the whole "cut a piece off, throw it, and try to outrun it as it grows" joke and actually try to scientifically prove it wrong. Why the hell can't Mythbusters just do this once so that people stop getting curious?
-
I feel bad for the ones who don't make it. All dangling by their ankles from tree branches and such...
-
Mythbusters did try that. The kudzu went straight for Kari Byron and, well, if you've seen any anime you know what happened next.
...Jamie and Adam keep that tape in their private collection.
-
coughtentacleporncough
:-P
okay.... umm....
hot and spicy McChickens
worse than taco bell i tell ya!
-
What I'm supposed to say: :angel: if kudzu can move, it's animated. So it's outside this thread's purview. :angel:
What my inner perv wants to say: :evil: Man, I'd totally watch that video. Sound's like it'd beat hell out of watching Byron play in Mentos fizz. Which was phallic enough in its own right. :evil:
:| The detached part of me thinks it far more likely the kudzu would snare Imahara. :|
*ahem* back to the list: Those tiny paper tags created when people rip pages out of spiral-bound notebooks shouldn't exist. Is the wire really cheaper than glue?
-
seems to me metal would be more expensive than glue. but on the topic of school supplies...
those freaking mechanical pencils that wont stop breaking the lead, so that you go "click,click" then write something, then as soon as you pull the pencil away from the paper, a quarter inch of lead falls out. and you have to start the whole process over again...
its why i buy expensive ass drafting pencils. they dont do it.
-
Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.
-
:evil:
-
Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.
The exception is the now-defunct t-rex emoticon. That thing was nearly impossible to use improperly.
-
:-D
This one?
-
If that's still a T rex for you then you have some awesome cookies or something, cos for everyone else it's just a regular smiley
-
Man, it was a t-rex when I posted it. I previewed it, and it still looked like a t-rex after I posted it and everything, but now it's a normal smiley.
what the hell, forum?
-
I USED TO BE AN AWESOME DINOSAUR!
WHAT THE HELL ASS?
/
:-D
-
Reality TV. Over used, under developed, death to Mary-Ellis Bunim. Whom I blame.
-
Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.
Seconded.
-
Flash ads.
-
In that same vein -- ads that have really annoying audio clips that say shit like "Congratulations! You've just won!"
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On the subject of internet ads, those 'ns which obnoxiously appear right in the middle of the page you're viewing or enlarge themselves when you mouse over them :x
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:evil:
Paul, I want you to know that this was literally perfect.
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Reading this latest batch of posts makes me wonder if the time is right for my "Advertising Agencies: Adams had it about right" Thread in DISCUSS.
But it's so astoundingly obvious that it's probably already been done fifty, sixty times.
Oh, and I'm sure there's an emoticon etiquette FAQ or even a freaking book out there somewhere. Proof positive that someone has even more free time than me, and squanders it worse than I do.
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CAT ALLERGIES.
Watching my friends play Left 4 Dead on an LCD screen was pretty rad. Getting red eyes and a cold because of the fucking cat dander wasn't.
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Er, allergies are animate. That is, it's not the cat, but your body's screwed up, overblown reaction to proteins in the cat's saliva, urine, and dander. Stupid damned body. But, yes, it does suck, and I would give much to have allergies made non-existent.
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That fucking add for T-Pain on Meebo that popps up when you mouse over and ARGH FUCK it's some fucking rapper. Sheez.
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CAT ALLERGIES.
Watching my friends play Left 4 Dead on an LCD screen was pretty rad. Getting red eyes and a cold because of the fucking cat dander wasn't.
Oh yeah, it's pretty fun playing games on a 36" LCD. Especially if you have a console controller to play your PC games with.
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(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41TPjOrzAOL._SS500_.jpg)
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But what if you want to do a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream? That mask could be really handy!
Unless you're talking about the creepy, creepy doll underneath it. It stares at me with its dead eyes.
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(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41TPjOrzAOL._SS500_.jpg)
its like if you combined silence of the lambs with winnie the pooh.
"it puts the lotion on its skin!"
"...........i guess....... there, i did...............thanks for noticin'......."
...
...
for it to really work imagine that last sentance being spoke by eyore!
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I imagine the first line being said by Tigger.
...now you are, too.
srsly, that damned mask/dummy combo is creepy enough to be nightmare fuel. It's like a RealDoll in a fursuit.
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Oh please, PLEASE don't give the real-doll people ideas.
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Gift cards. Unless they've been discounted, they only make sense for the companies that issue them. I know just giving money feels like you haven't put a lot of thought into your gift, but I don't really think converting your money into a less useful form before giving it away really is the answer here, particularly since many cards have fees attached or make it easier for the vendor to rip you off in general. Plus, you know, your uncle might not really get a whole lot of mileage out of a Bath and Body Works card.
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Hey man, we have two lines of mens' products at Bath and Body Works. Watch yourself. Also, our gift cards have no fees or restrictions. OWNED.
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So I can use them at Gamestop? :P
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Haw haw haw.
No.
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This reminds me, I don't think Bath and Body Works should exist. This may or may not directly relate to the time somebody from there told me that "boys smell" so I should shop there more. Thanks for your sales pitch, fucker.
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Hey man, I like my job and would like to keep it. Don't knock my employer!
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I gotta defend here... there are a LOT of people who should shop there more regularly. Oh, God and baby Jesus, there are people who need to shop there... and USE their purchases! Yeah, strawberries and cream isn't exactly a manly smell, but it will get you a lot further dating than feces and foot.
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I'd rather be lonely than smell like a complete fag.
There, I said it.
(My personal body aroma is blue herbal essence and hand-rolled cigarettes)
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You consider yourself an authority on the scents of complete fags? For some reason you never struck me as a fag-sniffer there, Khar...
New thing that should not exist: perfume spritzers at the mall. Those people need to stop.
"Would you like to try new Oedipus cologne for men? Great for the thirtysomething who still lives at home!"
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HEY KHAR YOU HOMOPHOBE.
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Khar only sleeps with men to hide the fact he is secretly homophobic. It's his deepest shame.
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"Would you like to try new Oedipus cologne for men? Great for the thirtysomething who still lives at home!"
But that so should exist! I even know who to give it to (he's nearly my age, and still lives at home with his mother).
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Paul, the implications of your statement make me a little uncomfortable.
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Just so long as no one develops Maenad. And no, AXE doesn't really have that effect, except in the commercials. Stupid commercials.
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Don't worry, he's fine, and quite normal - just a bit sad, really.
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sorry, i think i'd pick feces and feet over overwhelming fruity crap too.
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Obviously, overwhelming anything is bad, but a lot of these soaps and washes and crap just add a hint of that fruit scent, and most of what someone would smell would be you. (i.e. fruity bath soap is no substitute for deodorant).
If you had to choose between a scent like
GUY & strawberry
or
FGUUNYK
which would you prefer?
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You're undermining yourself quite a bit here, since I would totally buy a shampoo or bodywash that used what you just typed as a label design. The forum's gray even makes the brown look more like a rich brick red rather than poop brown. Also, I nominated Mothership Connection in our album showdown on the music forums. Besides, I really don't like fruit/vegetable based scents on people, particularly strawberry. Honestly, unless someone utterly fails at the most basic hygiene protocols or wears obnoxious scents, I really couldn't care less.
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Just so long as no one develops Maenad
Having just read the wiki article on that, wouldn't that just be ecstasy?
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Crowded, smoke-filled bars. There's nothing fucking romantic about those places. If anything, they give me panic attacks.
(this because my friends here are pretty much all inconsiderate)
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Shit that shouldn't exist: whatever the hell they put into American perfumes that gives me a headache. I remember being stuck in Bio 101, way back when we had live dinosaurs in the lab, next to this chick who apparently bathed herself in Estée Lauder every morning, which meant I got an early start on a headache every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Better yet, this girl wanted to be Madonna, which at the time meant wearing about a hundred pounds of bracelets, mostly chains. on each arm, so she was constantly scraping and rattling against her desk as she took notes. Thank god she dropped after five weeks. Wonder if it was due to wrist fatigue.
I know it was Estée Lauder because my older cousin also used it, also in large quantities. Or maybe it just goes a long way. Yeah, she gave me a headache, too. (But I put up with it for her, because she was the Best Cousin Ever.)
Having since experienced a SO who uses French Perfume (Yves Rocher, or something like that) based on natural ingredients, I can attest that, yes, ladies, you can smell very nice indeed without inflicting pain upon me and those like me who have, well, 'allergy problems'.
Oh, and I gotta admit, ladies who smell nicely fruity (as opposed to overpoweringly) are pretty darned yummy. Take that as you will. About guys, I suppose smelling like soap will do. I'm not big on smelling shit and unwashed feet, though, on anyone. I guess it takes all kinds.
Sorry, missed this.
Just so long as no one develops Maenad
Having just read the wiki article on that, wouldn't that just be ecstasy?
Dunno. Never been around anyone on ecstasy (that I know of). Do women who take it screw you half to death, then finish the job and eat your flesh as a post-coital snack, washing it down with your blood?
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I take that back. That's just dating a PMS'ing woman.
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The Bible translated to Klingon (http://klv.mrklingon.org)
"Hey you there, stop making us nerds look bad!"
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Oh, please. A bible translated so that a fictional race of bloodthirsty humanoidacidal maniacs can read it is sanity itself compared to this:
The Bible translated to LolCat (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page)
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
It definitely should not exist.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZTvDZHRFrU
THAT EPISODE! i didnt even know it existed until just now... i bawled...
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Har Har
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Pollen. Goddamn pollen. In my fucking eyes.
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Tag body spray.
Mostly because my roommate refuses to shower, and he thinks that spraying his body for a full two minutes with Tag body spray is a replacement for both showering and deodorant.
It's 38 degrees outside, but my windows are open to clear out that fucking stench. It makes me retch.
A little is okay. This is NOT.
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any condoms smaller than MAGNUM...
take that however you want... :-P
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any condoms smaller than MAGNUM...
take that however you want... :-P
So you'd prefer guys like myself go unprotected?
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any condoms smaller than MAGNUM...
take that however you want... :-P
So you'd prefer guys like myself go unprotected?
nah, I would just like you to have a lil room down there, maybe stick your wallet and a pack of gum in there... maybe your extra keys...
its all about options.
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Money circulates. I do not want to be handling any cash from someone's condom cache.
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Fucking prude.
Not going to even mention where my credit card is.
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any condoms smaller than MAGNUM...
take that however you want... :-P
So you'd prefer guys like myself go unprotected?
nah, I would just like you to have a lil room down there, maybe stick your wallet and a pack of gum in there... maybe your extra keys...
its all about options.
So i could cut it into 3 equal pieces, twist the ends shut and get three uses out of each. Hmmm... Frugal. I like the way you think.
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Pollen. Goddamn pollen. In my fucking eyes.
HURGBLUHRG POLLEN GO DIIIIEEEE!
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bath & body works
I cannot walk past that store in a shopping mall without sneezing. I have shopped there once, for a gift for someone, and suffered through a migraine for the rest of the day. Bath and Body Works can fuck off and die, or at least keep their fucking incense under control, and put a cover over the perfume samples.
American vs French perfume
Why do girls need to wear perfume in the first place? Almost every girl and woman I have ever met who wears perfume (a) has underlying self image problems and (b) wears too much because they think it stops being smelly after awhile so they put more on or they just load up so that they'll still be sure to be smelly at the end of the day.
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...okay, I do have to agree there. That place does smell too strong. They need, like, a door. A really good door. Two doors.
A fragrance airlock, if you will.
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Oh how everyone hates my place of employment! I guess I don't notice the smell anymore since I've been working there for so long, but we do get adorable little old ladies complaining every once in a while.
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American vs French perfume
Why do girls need to wear perfume in the first place? Almost every girl and woman I have ever met who wears perfume (a) has underlying self image problems and (b) wears too much because they think it stops being smelly after awhile so they put more on or they just load up so that they'll still be sure to be smelly at the end of the day.
Good perfume worn correctly, in small amounts so that you only really smell it when you're in the girl's 'personal space' can be...quite something. Part of the problem is, like so many other things, the art of wearing fragrance as a subtle enhancement seems to have been lost. The girls I was speaking of, and I suspect you are, too, wear it like an overcoat, when it's supposed to be like lacy underwear. (Well, that's not exactly it, but you get the idea). A little behind the ears, at touch at the wrist, a hint behind the knees....
*cough cough* Moving on.
As for the self-image problems, given the sort of ads, replete with starved models and copious airbrushing, that we have these days, I'm surprised when a lady doesn't have self-image problems. It seems to be the sole purpose of many fashion designers, advertisers, etc., etc.
Maybe they ought...wait, I'm about to violate my own rules. But you get the idea.
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A little behind the ears, at touch at the wrist, a hint behind the knees....
Really? The knees? Never heard that before!
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Pollen. Goddamn pollen. In my fucking eyes.
HURGBLUHRG POLLEN GO DIIIIEEEE!
It's awesome not having allergies.
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dudes you dont even know how bad it is DC is so fucking pollenated. the other day it rained and you could fucking see pollen in like, every singe fucking puddle.
BHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Perfume is supposed to be applied to the pulse points, Inlander.
http://www.perfumestation.com/aboutperfumes.asp (http://www.perfumestation.com/aboutperfumes.asp)
I forgot about the elbows.
As for pollen, we got you beat. I don't need water. It piles up in cracks in cement, and makes a nice film across my porch that I can see. I don't need rain to make it visible.
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Honeysuckle grows on my porch. Cherry blossoms, apple blossoms, redwood, roses, and millions of wildflowers constitute the several acres that are my back yard.
Stay away from my house if you have allergies, you will puff up and die.
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Speaking of Cherry Blossoms, I have a bunch of them near my house. Every time spring comes around, it looks marvelous. Then the petals get everywhere.
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I wish I could will stupid tenants out of existence
One of our tenants decided that the branches on the cherry tree were too low, so instead of, you know, getting out the push mower and mowing underneath it like most people would, they decided to saw off all of the lower branches so that they could mow underneath it.
Now, no one can reach the cherries.
Fucking shit-eating douchebag assholes.