THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Professor Snuggles on 20 Mar 2009, 21:55
-
I dunno, I just feel sort of pathetic, you know? Like, is this really how I want to spend my time? It feels like a pretty terrible social crutch, the fact that I use the internet as a place to find friends instead of going out into the real world to meet people? I do feel more comfortable with people on here to some degree, but at the same time, common interests are not necessarily everything? Just because you guys will laugh when I talk about some comic book that everyone on here has read and two people I know IRL have ever heard of doesn't mean this is a good thing?
I worry that I am missing out on real life by spending so much time online, but I also have a lot of trouble not being on the internet. I mean, the obvious answer is obviously to quit boarding, but that's really hard! I obviously have an incredibly addictive personality, but that's sort of something I can't help. Every time I get bored, I come back to places like this.
I just get a little concerned sometimes about whether or not I am using my time well? Does anyone else feel like this, or am I completely alone here.
-
I really liked this place and everything the internet had to offer me two, three years ago. Now I am just thinking it has plenty of the problems of real life and some of it's own problems.
I am with you on the addictive personality thing, I can just sink into this well of internet and ignore things. I think instead of being an alcoholic I am an internetaholic, in that I just go here as a default and can't think of other things while plugged into my screen.
Crutch is the metaphor I think of most often. I find myself thinking I'm pathetic and wishing I was doing more in real life. Internet and video games have been the cause of a serious decline in my life over the past half a year.
I have, for the past hour, been putting off a relatively trivial decision that I did not want to make by being on the internet and passing tiny tiny increments of time until making the decision.
I have come to realize this place and nowhere on the net will leave me fully satisfied.
That said, I do quite value some of the people I have met through the internet and the time I've spent here, I just feel like I have had enough.
-
I spend a large amount of time on the internet, and occasionally feel similarly, but at the same time, some of what I do actually, y'know, facilitates social situations. I am constantly absorbing new information through blogs, news sites, wikipedia, and so on, and any tid-bit I discover is one more thing to file away and could potentially be valuable to human interaction and conversation. Ultimately of course, the question of whether or not you are spending your time well is up to whether or not you feel like you are. I mean, who's to say that objectively one action is more worthwhile than another without any consideration of why or whom, etc? I wouldn't say that you're at all pathetic just because you're online all the time, but if you feel that way it's probably a good indication that you don't actually want to spend all your time in this way.
-
True Story:
I was telling my roommate that I was thinking of getting rid of my phone(which is where I access the internet), or getting a cheaper plan(getting rid of the internet). His response was "you can't do that! The internet is 50% of your social life!" I laughed, and said "Actually, its probably about 90%."
This is sad.
-
I have a tendency to feel the same way, but typically only in the midst of writing papers that are due in the next few days.
However, following the course of my life in the past few years, I think being on this forum (the internet is great and all, but I spend at least a quarter of my time online on this board) has actually had the opposite effect. I now have a much more open mind, for one. More things to talk to people about. I have gotten better at being witty, and thinking things out before saying them, so I haven't felt like an asshole for anything I've said for 3 years.
Before this forum I was pretty goddamned socially awkward. I had fewer friends than I had fingers. Every party I went to, people gave me funny looks. At some point along the line, and perhaps the forum had nothing to do with it at all, I figured out how to not be a shut-in. Now I have a hard time balancing school, work, and hanging out, because I have way more friends than I ever thought I'd have. Still no girlfriend, but I ain't buggin'. Even if the internet, and likewise, this board, had nothing to do with my growing pains, it certainly helped me learn how to read people and how not to approach every subject like a herd of elephants.
I do think I probably spend too much time on the internet, partially because a lot of the things I do are with computers and I am exposed to them everyday. But without all that exposure, I sometimes wonder if I would be as happy with my life as I am now. There are a lot of things I would not have seen or heard or known, at least not as soon as I have, had I not been exposed to all this. Some of them are good things not to know (well, you can probably guess the kind of things I am talking about), but there are far more good things than bad, I've found.
-
None of what has been said so far has been incorrect, but none of it has been fully correct either.
It is true that it is quite easy to find yourself using the internet in such a way that your time is used inefficiently. This week my wireless modem burnt itself out and I was left internetless for 2 days. It was a weird feeling, like a prolonged power outage without any alternate sources of light. But I found that in that 2 days I had more time on my hands than I've had in months. I don't have time for television anymore these days, I used to watch reruns and new episodes of shows, but now I only really keep up with the Daily Show (usually several days after the fact) and 30 Rock, and the rest of my idle time is spent on the internet, several hours a day, at least 3 if you count the idle time spent at work.
Is that a waste of time? Some of it probably is, but it's no more of a waste of time than most everything else. Thinking in terms of opportunity cost, very little of what you do on any given day isn't wasted. It's certainly easy to think that internet time is particularly wasteful, but I think that's because it's spent sitting and staring, it looks useless. But when I'm here or on my other forums or on meebo or whatever it's just like attending a town meeting, or talking on the phone, or writing letters to people, or reading a newspaper, or taking a free class on the underground music scenes of the 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s.
We don't have much of a historical reference for this sort of thing, outside of a rather small community of venerable geeks the internet has only been a resource to people for the last 10, maybe 15 years. Can we really say with any certainty that the relationships we form out here are somehow less valuable than the ones we form in meatlife? I mean, I've gotten to know and broken contact with dozens of people on the internet over my time on the interscape. But I've gotten to know and broken contact with many dozens more in my meatlife. I do think that some of the people I've met will be friends with me for quite a long time, maybe for decades into the future. We read about people in the past having these relationships via post and that seems romantic and meaningful to us, how is this any different, really? It means something, it matters.
Think of internet dating. Many people reading this have met significant others via the internet. Have these relationships been any different than relationships formed through other means? There's this weird, not-entirely-rational stigma that attaches itself to internet friendships/relationships, like meeting somebody in a fuckin' bar is more legitimate than meeting somebody in a music forum. So, we can maybe make a blanket generalization that people who spend a lot of time on the internet are more awkward in meatlife. There's a lot of self-hatred in this, we kick ourselves because we weren't jocks in high school and we don't coast through the social landscape effortlessly. Why shy away from this resource?
Fuck that, embrace the internet. What would you do without the internet? Where would you be? Do you honestly think you'd be happier? Would you join a fuckin' fraternity or sorority and make friends that way? Join the gaming group at the local comic shop? Or would you be miserable and sullen all the time? Honestly I think if more people got over this self-consciousness they'd be a lot more content with their lot.
tl;dr I think all this bellyaching over the appropriateness of internet use is really about self-denial.
-
See I really like the internet, especially this forum.
I'm not all that social, I kind of hate parties and almost everyone I meet comes across as stupid and not worth my time. Barring my housemate (who has been my best friend for about 10 years), my brother and my girlfriend (whom I met via another forum) I don't really have any regular meaningful interactions with other people because I really have nothing to say to them and when I do try to reach out I inevitably come across as a little too eccentric than people are willing to put up with. It probably sounds a little depressing but when I was in Boston and when we had the Auscon meetup I was incredibly happy because I kind of realised what it must be like to actually have friends.
Now I can go without the internet if I need to, but I tend to miss you guys after a while. The people I have met here are not my Internet Friends. They are just my friends.
-
The internet is fucking dope. It allows me to do cool art projects I couldn't otherwise do.
-
I have a love hate relationship with the internet. I go through bouts of being really addicted to the internet, but this is mostly when I don't really get out much. Lately I've been kind of busy with work and social things, so all I do really is check my email, come here for a few minutes, or game for a little bit. Also, I finally got another library card, so my previous allotment of internet time is now taken up by reading. But really, I have felt in the past that I spent far too much time hanging around here, but I don't feel like that now.
Besides, I do happen to meet a lot of people on the internet, both from here and other social places as well. I feel that the internet is an extension of my social life and an opportunity to meet people I would have otherwise never met.
-
i spend a lot of time on this forum but i've always kept this part of my life secret on account friends tend to react very badly when i tell them i have met people from the internet and spend time on an internet message board. i try to maintain a healthy balance between my social life on this forum and in person in the sense that it supplements my social life rather than replaces it, but it's sometimes sort of painful to have to maintain such a huge gap between both groups because my friends here and my friends in guelph are equally important to me. i have met a lot of people on this forum, and of these, a few of them have been to my house or met my friends. whenever the subject comes up of how i met them, i always find myself lying and saying something like "oh, at a show" or "through another friend" - not because i'm deliberately trying to be hurtful, or because i'm even embarrassed of it, but because i know the truth is just going to get some incredible negative reactions and i really have no desire to deal with them. it's this really severe divide that, i think, contributes occasionally toward the unhealthy imbalances where do things like abandon the forum and don't talk to anyone here for ages to go concentrate on my "real life" instead, or leave my life here behind to hang out on the forum, subsequently neglecting my friends and everything else i need to get done.
lately this neat thing has happened where i've been spending more and more time with a few friends who i've realized are really wonderful and important to me, and i decided that if it ever came up in conversation i'd let them know about this part of my life. each of them essentially responded with an "oh, you're a nerd" or "oh, cool!" and then moved on immediately - not in the sense that they dismissed it but in that they genuinely didn't think it was a big deal at all. i think this maybe has more to do with the fact that they like me as opposed to the fact that they don't think meeting people internet is weird, but regardless it felt really great being able to say that without an overly negative response. this forum is a pretty big part of my life and i don't want to feel like i need to keep it secret and lie about it. i can only hope that throughout my life i'll meet more open-minded people like this who can help make this internet/meat life balance that much easier.
-
But.. didn't the internet people.. RAPE you?
-
i only really feel the internet gets in the way when i have important things to do that i don't REALLY want to do.
basically, it's the perfect device of procrastination. i still go out and meet new people, hang out with my friends daily; just if i have like an essay or some shit due i'll be at my desk and be all 'Okay, i need a break, i'll just look at this one video and be right back into it...' [insert train of wikipedia, forum and other site use]
-
Use your internet powers for good! I personally think the internet is pretty awesome. I've gone through periods of basically allowing it to suck me in entirely, but right now it feels like sort of a compliment/supplement/facilitator to my meat life, and is pretty rad. I mean, in the past 3 weeks, I've connected with the lady who is now my girlfriend, and 2 bands who want me to drum for them, just by fooling around on the tubes. Idk, I think if you recognize that you have problems with the internet controlling/dominating your social life, you can turn that around and just use the internet to help further/recreate your socialness.
-
Hey Kiff, none of us will mind if you get off the internet.
-
BAWWWWWW
Q_Q
FUCK OFF
GO OUTSIDE.
-
None of what has been said so far has been incorrect, but none of it has been fully correct either.
Wut.
See yeah I was just stating how I feel. Wut?
I am just feeling all kinds of mixed because I think the internet could be a good part of a healthy life for me but I think my life generally is not terribly healthy right now, so I am unhappy.
I am fairly glad for the people I've met from about. I think it is basically awesome that I have gotten free crashing space in Guelph and in Regina for myself and friends and also that someone left their home on a whim to takes over 100km worth of busses (and subway) to come eat food in my home.
I am probably suffering from larger 'life stagnation syndrome' from being here (everywhere I am right now) too long.
-
To be clear, I wasn't disparaging anybody's input, I just think there is some sort of objective nugget of wisdom we can draw from an aggregate of everyone's experience and observation. The internet is a big thing, no?
-
I think the internet is like almost anything else: it's good in moderation. I mean, think of all the stuff you can learn from Wikipedia, how much easier it is to buy and sell stuff online... all these things that are made so much easier by the internet. But then you also have to unplug sometimes and just go for a jog/read a book/whatever. So yeah, I say as long as you know when to stop, the internet is cool.
-
The internet is about 90% of my life, but I don't think of it as being very pathetic, mostly because of my lifestyle. I move more often than some species of migratory animals, and so it's really the best way to keep track of people. While my physical and mailing addresses change pretty much constantly, my email address is probably the only thing about me that hasn't changed in 5 years. Hell, for a while, my friend back in California and I had a little band deal going on where we would each record our different parts and sortof internet-Postal Service that shit.
The internet is also a great resource for people who are lazy, and I definitely fit that bill. Guitar set up tips, music, news, and even education, to a certain degree. And it's also great for finding products or services that otherwise would be completely obscured to your awareness.
The internet also contains horse porn. So it's a lesson in Confucianism. See? It even helps me understand spiritualism, in an abstract sort of way.
The internet is pretty awesome.
-
Basically I think I feel exactly how Kieffer says he felt in the first post. The Internet is amazing, and probably the most important part of my life. It lets me associate with you amazing people and here I'm actually liked and respected to some degree. Everyone seems to know me, which is an awesome feeling.
I've just been feeling kind of hollow and depressed for the past couple of months, though. It's not you, Internet, it is me. Six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend and best friend of six and a bit years. He was pretty much the only friend I had, since my other best friend moved to Canada a couple of years ago. I moved to Sydney, the big smoke, several hours drive away from my little home town and my warring family. Despite how happy I am that I got out of that relationship and that life, I have never felt so very alone.
I find it so easy to relate to people and to have a little self esteem on the internet, but in real life I only ever feel awkward and unwanted and completely unattractive in both personality and appearance. I don't know why this is, really.
I've made one new friend since I've been in Sydney, and I met him on OKcupid, so he still doesn't count as making a 'real' new friend if you know what I mean. And even though he's fun and he compliments me and rings me up occasionally to see how I'm going (and he has a lovely girlfriend so there is nothing going on with unrequited feelings etc), I still find myself making excuses not to hang out with him.
I am also seeing an amazing boy who I met though kind of normal circumstances (we met at a party a year ago, whilst I was still with my ex), and as wonderful as it is to spend time with him I am still wracked with self-doubt and insecurity about my appearance and whether I'm actually interesting or fun to be around at all. He's leaving in a few weeks anyway, and I might not ever see him again, so my silly head is telling me that any hope that I might have had to gain a somewhat normal life where I spend lots of actual time in the flesh with real life people is sort of lost with that. I'm already broken hearted over losing him and I think this will probably draw me more into my little internet shell.
And lately it's been tricky on the internet as well! Someone who I thought was my very best friend has stopped talking to me after years of friendship and now I just find myself sitting alone in my little apartment, my AIM window open and nobody on my contact list. It's making me even more depressed and I don't know what to do with myself! (Oh hey, if any of you want to IM me the details are in my profile. I will probably just moan about how sad I am but I feel like I need someone to jolt me out of this reverie!)
Oh internet, such a blessing, such a curse.
-
I believe once I said in meebo that the single most addictive factor about the internet is it is the only place I can meet people definably more neurotic and socially awkward than myself.
Oh and pirated shit (pornography) I guess
Don't feel bad fellow shut ins of the internet. Social lives are not noticeably more fun than a lack of a social life if you develop interesting enough hobbies, this is science I have been into the real world to investigate.
-
Holy crap, how did you people get on my internet?
-
The internet is boring me pretty badly recently. I feel like I know about every single hilarious thing that the internet has to offer; every entertaining website, every shock site, every juvenile screamer flash movie, every stupid internet meme. I've visited probably all of the 'chans, every shock site I can think of, found out about every shocking video the internet has to offer. I mean.. besides the things that I check frequently for updates, like my webcomics and the Youtube channels I enjoy, the internet doesn't seem to have as much to offer.
As far as you guys go, you are a pretty funny and cool lot. Thing is, while I'm not insulting you guys in the least, I've never really felt the connection or as welcome as most of you guys seem to feel.
-
I mean.. besides the things that I check frequently for updates, like my webcomics and the Youtube channels I enjoy, the internet doesn't seem to have as much to offer.
This. I'm kinda bored of the internet. I use it to watch movies, read a few blogs, get the news, and post here sometimes. Oh, and e-mail and facebook.
-
I think the internet can be part of your life rather than a substitute for it
This.
I grew up playing fucking Age Of Empires (seriously, every day for at least 3 years), and my single top interest since getting my gameboy at 6 has been video games. When we got internet, and I found my first forum... kaboom. I still spend... 4+ hours a day on the net or gaming. Yeah, people say that I need to get a life. Sure. Fuck them. I'm reading webcomics and listening to awesome music I downloaded* and talking on forums and shit. I love it. It's my life. It's who I am. I've found out that the majority of the people I like is just as socially awkward and nerdy. the internet is awesome, and internet people are awesome, and the only reason you think that you need to be spending more time in meat life to have a "real" life is that society is telling you that you should.
*Not talking about Nickelback. Not at all. Nope. Sure not
do I need help with my problem?
-
The internet is my very own personal procrastination machine.
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
-
The internet is my very own personal procrastination machine.
We call it "The Schedule Killer."
S
-
I was really digging the whole "internet" thing for awhile, and particularly this forum. But it's all kind of lost its luster nowadays. It's gotten stale. I still check my "usual" websites, and I lurk around here a lot, but I don't post much anymore...don't know why, really.
-
see people usually get pissed off when you walk into a room and go "hey guys these are my opinions" and leave for a week and come back and go "you guys are all fat cunts" and then come back a month later and go "so what's all this shit about politics huh?" and split
-
Interesting; don't recall doing that.
-
(he is not talking about you)
-
The internet is my very own personal procrastination machine.
this.
however i am not really enjoying everything this fine procrastination machine has to offer lately. a lot of things that i used to think were pretty neat have just become boring (facebook is a prime example of this. i used to love catching up with friends via wall posts and messages, looking at photos, reading status updates, everything. i could do that for hours. now i spend maybe 5 minutes at most on facebook at any given time because it's not as good for making plans with people as i used to think, i don't actually care about what some random acquaintance from high school is doing and the new layout is awful)
then again, i have found some new stuff i enjoy and gotten back into a thing that i had mixed feelings about, so hey.
also i have a lot less work to do now, and there is no reason for me to put off doing said work, since it is not stressful and overwhelming and horrible so i kind of feel like there is no reason for me to be internetting as much as i currently do because i have no reason to be escapist.
i spend a lot of time on this forum but i've always kept this part of my life secret on account friends tend to react very badly when i tell them i have met people from the internet and spend time on an internet message board. whenever the subject comes up of how i met them, i always find myself lying and saying something like "oh, at a show" or "through another friend" - not because i'm deliberately trying to be hurtful, or because i'm even embarrassed of it, but because i know the truth is just going to get some incredible negative reactions and i really have no desire to deal with them.
this too.
-
(he is not talking about you)
Nonsense; everything is about me!
-
I can understand a lot of Kieffer's post really. I mean, I've been a member on these boards for something like three years now, maybe more? I cannot remember, but it has been a long time. Despite that, there is only one person I have met on these boards that I have a really good friendship with. For everyone else, you are all wonderful people but I still feel awkward and left out because you all seem to know each other better than I do and it is kind of hard for me to change that because most of you live two hours away, or more.
Making real life friends is hard. Last year when I changed what I was studying, I changed in the middle of the year, when everyone had already made friends and formed their groups and it was just me and my boy and that was it. We had a really hard time trying to make friends because it seemed like everyone was settled in already. I mean, university is great in so many ways - you can show up wearing your pj's and slippers and no one would actually care, but making friends there can be scary and daunting.
I spend most of my internet time lurking - in IRC, on forums. I read nearly every thread on my regular boards, but hardly ever post. There are people here who have been here less than half the time than I have with post counts a hell of a lot higher than mine. I mean, the people who have been around here for the same time (or longer), than I have, all know me I guess, but I still feel left out and lonely.
I guess most of my internetting is one sided? I mean, there is like one person I IM regularly, the second person I now live with, so we actually talk in person now. I need to do something about this, I guess, I just am not sure how.
-
People had conversations like this about just computers, long before the Internet arrived*; addiction to games, for instance - yes even the earliest text-only ones (I even wrote one of them back in the late '70s). Not to mention TV; and the movies, I guess, before that. These things work out somehow.
* Yes, I know it's existed since the end of the 1960s, but it hadn't escaped into the world.
-
wtf
Is this thread for real, or is this like an elaborate joke that I'm not in on?
-
Yeah, I had a similar thought upon reading some of the thread, but it seems legit to me.
I think the internet can be part of your life rather than a substitute for it
This.
I actually find it rather easy to balance internet and meatlife. I separate my meatlife into several different... aspects, I suppose one could say. For example, school, home, with friends, etc. I treat as if they are completely separate lives, just lived by the same person. There's a little overlap between them, but I use them as comparison for one another, and this is how I treat the internet. The internet is a perfectly legit way to meet people, do silly things to kill time, set one's life in order, and so many other things that can be accomplished through physical interpersonal interactions, so I see no reason why using the internet a lot is such a big problem to so many people. As long as it's balanced out with other things in meatlife, I see no problem with it.
-
Poor old Joe Hocking
As he gets on in age, it becomes harder for him to keep up with the ever-evolving forums, leaving him in a muddled mess of confusion and head-scratching
Such is life.
-
As for me and the internet I'm just here to reuse people's jokes, but in real life so everybody thinks I'm hilarious all by myself.
No really it is a procrastination tool and a communication tool and a music... thing...? and it has too much of an influence on my life.
-
wtf
Is this thread for real, or is this like an elaborate joke that I'm not in on?
Well, kieffer posted something and then I was like 'yeah I think I totally know what you are saying there' and the rest is just a thread that has gone on, based, presumably, on the guilt/shame felt by some people on using the internet and some other people saying 'the internet is a legitimate venue for love'.
I think the part of the first post that resonated the most with me was about common interests not being everything. I am glad there are people here who like things I like, but while at one point I figured that'd solve all my problems I have realized it hasn't. I am devaluing everything in my head.
I am personally unhappy and getting unhappier right now in my life but I am hoping summer sun will fix/help that.
-
I thought it was funny last night when almost as an answer to this thread the entire site went down. At first I was panicking a little, refreshing every so often to see what happened, but eventually I excepted it. I started going through all the little things I had bookmarked for later, finally having the time to get to them.
At best I would say the internet is a time waster. As Spluff said, "The internet is my very own personal procrastination machine." I need a few hours to kill before I go to bed, so instead of doing anything really productive I am here. It's something I can do without having to put much thought into it, something I can do to relax. I don't say I need it and it doesn't need me either.
-
To me the internet is mostly a source of information and media, and that pretty much all I use it for. I use it to read the news, watch media, and general source of knowledge and entertainment, but my eyes get tired quickly. I never understood people using it as a social crutch because I can't imagine sitting in front of a screen for hours at a time.
-
wtf
Is this thread for real, or is this like an elaborate joke that I'm not in on?
Yes.
S
-
Woah I forgot I made this thread.
-
Wow, I am glad I turned 20 already because I would hate to be younger than the internet. Don't ask why, I have no idea.
-
The Internet is not just the web, and has been around in some form since about 1969 (start of ARPAnet) or 1983 (conversion to the present TCPIP protocols). So you're way younger than the Internet - sorry. I, on the other hand, am considerably older than the Internet - a fact of no importance whatsoever.
-
games, for instance - yes even the earliest text-only ones (I even wrote one of them back in the late '70s)
1: Was it good?
2: Do you still have it laying around somewhere?
-
Wow, the internet is that old? I am a bit sad that I wont be able to yell "When I was your age, the internet didn't exist!" to my potential grandchildren.
-
Was it good?
Some people got quite keen on it for a while in the late 1970s. But it exists now only in memory; it was specific to a range of machines that no longer exists even in emulation. I suppose I might have the BCPL source for it somewhere, but it'll be buried too deep to go looking for. It was a classic dungeons and dragons type, with a convoluted map incuding a labyrinth you had to work out, treasures, weapons, health, and a "magic move" for getting out of tight spots at a cost. You could choose to be Charlotte Rampling if you wanted.
-
Except you can be all like "hey I knew you when you were just a wee baby" and then be all like "man your parents must really regret spending all that money on your education"
-
The Internet wasn't in widespread use for socialising until about 1990 so you can certainly say "I remember when there was no MySpace".
Actually, eight year olds could say that.
-
Hey get off MySpace you goddamn eight-year olds. That is no place for you to be hangin out.
-
Wow, I am glad I turned 20 already because I would hate to be younger than the internet. Don't ask why, I have no idea.
Taking into account the WWW clarification, I think I know why. It means you didn't grow up on it. It's kinda like my great-grandmother, who is still alive and kicking at 99 years of age. She remembers a time before World War I. World War ONE, guys. Imagine 79 years from now, being able to remember such an archaic time as "before web access was available to the average Joe".
May, I don't actually think any 8 year olds can say they remember a time where there was no MySpace. I've been on there for 6 or 7 years already, and most people's memories start at 4 years of age, so yeah. We are already raising a generation of failure. :D