THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: billiumbean on 27 Jun 2009, 00:28
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I played this game with a friend and fellow nerd before he moved away. I'm sort of going through withdrawals, so tada!
The rules are very simple; debate which nominee, if put into the same universe, would win in a fight. It can be anyone in fiction; science fiction heroes, comic book villains, Captain Planet, etc. I decided to post this in this particular subforum, but I think comic book or manga characters should be allowed just the same, even if they have their own separate subforum. Creatures count, too, just say how many of them are fighting.
To nominate, name the two contenders, then state their terms. If you nominate Batman, which one? The comic book version? Tim Burton version? Chris Nolan version? Terms also include the scenario; I've found that a Roman Coliseum usually works for plain foot-based combat.
Who would win in a fight:
Neo from the end of the first Matrix movie OR Goku from the Cell saga, alive for once.
In: New York City, populated.
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Inside or outside of the Matrix?
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Goku.
I have thought a lot about if Pinhead fought Spawn, actually. That would be fucking awesome.
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Inside or outside of the Matrix?
Inside, of course.
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Goku.
I have thought a lot about if Pinhead fought Spawn, actually. That would be fucking awesome.
This is a way better fight.
My money's on Pinhead because he's like pretty much invulnerable.
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Who would win in a fight between Roger Moore's Bond and Pierce Brosnan's Bond?
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Wow, that's tough. I'd have to give it to Roger Moore because even though he sucked at Bond, he at least was old enough to be Bond. Pierce Brosnan always looked like a twelve year old and too pretty to be Bond. Flemming made it clear; Bond got chicks because he was a badass, not because he was pretty. Roger Moore wasn't all that badass, but at least he wasn't twelve.
Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Jefferson?
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Lincoln could have killed Jefferson with his beard, though it would have been an otherwise relatively matched battle.
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If you're gonna match up presidents at least make it interesting.
Andrew Jackson Vs. Teddy Roosevelt
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Jackson. Roosevelt was an explorer, Jackson was just pure bad ass. I assume you know the bullet in his shoulder for 20 years thing. (If not, it's self explanatory.)
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Lincoln could have killed Jefferson with his beard, though it would have been an otherwise relatively matched battle.
the correct term is "muthafuckin' chin curtain", yo
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I'm siding with Jackson as well. Roosevelt would have stood a chance, but I'm afraid I'm biased ever since John McCain fanboyed all over him during the election.
As for the other two... If it were a physical brawl, Lincoln. Something tells me that a man in a top hat can never fail when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.
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I believe among the top-hatted classes it's known as "fisticuffs".
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You guys know that Andrew Jackson was nearly assassinated, right? He ended up having to be restrained by his staffers. Lincoln? The dude was assassinated. I would say that Old Hickory wins the title of President I would be least likely to fuck with.
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The rules are very simple; debate which nominee, if put into the same universe, would win in a fight. It can be anyone in fiction; science fiction heroes, comic book villains, Captain Planet, etc.
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Fuck rules.
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You guys know that Andrew Jackson was nearly assassinated, right? He ended up having to be restrained by his staffers. Lincoln? The dude was assassinated. I would say that Old Hickory wins the title of President I would be least likely to fuck with.
If anything he's just lucky. The first time he was hit and the second time the pistols misfired because of the humidity.
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Jesus or Rasputin?
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If anything he's just lucky. The first time he was hit and the second time the pistols misfired because of the humidity.
Yeah, I know, but I am comfortable making specious arguments provided the topic is really inane.
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Zombie Jesus or Zombie Rasputin?
Fixed that for you.
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Isn't "Zombie Jesus" sort of redundant?
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Say that when he'll come and eat your brains. He'll appreciate that.
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Dammit Jesus first you want my heart now my brains
What do I get out of this relationship?
(Also, I'm gonna go with Zombie Rasputin. Jesus is weak on his own, he needs his father's help with everything. Every time he'd try to take out Rasputin, BAM, Rasputin comes back)
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It would definitely be a battle for the ages, but what it comes down to is who is more invincible? Perhaps the superior posse would factor in as well.
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I posit John A. MacDonald and George Washington (first PM of Canada and first President of the US) in a drinking match.
My money's on Johnny boy - the man could pound away the whiskey and still make a decent political speech.
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Yeah, I'm betting my money on John. He was known for being drunk and came up with the National Policy in 1876 while being drunk (or for his alcohol)!
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Washington because I'm a pigheaded American.
Also because he probably could.
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Oh, fiction? Hmm..
Tom Sawyer Vs. God
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Strangely enough, I just wrote a paper on how Tom Sawyer IS God in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
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Uh, guys, you obviously do not remember what Washington was really like (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA). I'm sure he could out drink just about everybody.
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Washington and Johnny would be a pretty even match. I bet John would win because he had more of his teeth.
Astro Boy or Megaman?
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Megaman with boss powerups or not?
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with
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In that case it's coming down to the number of Energy Tanks. My bet would be Megaman in a squeaker.
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Uh, guys, you obviously do not remember what Washington was really like (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA). I'm sure he could out drink just about everybody.
John used to keep clear spirits in his water jug to sip from during speeches. George was too busy trying to father his country to be a serious dirinker.
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Actually, Washington was one of the most productive distillers of in North America and was fond enough of rum from the Barbados to insist that at least a barrel be present at his inaugural party. Washington was a steady drinker whereas MacDonald was reputedly more of a binger and once vomited in front of an audience. If going by sheer alcohol tolerance I'm not really sure we'd have enough booze on hand to settle this one properly. In the end though I think MacDonald would probably win since Washington was likely stodgy enough to balk at getting trashed in public whereas MacDonald apparently didn't need much encouragement to go on an epic bender. After all, they're going for a drinking title, not Miss Congeniality.
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Carrying on with the US presidents though - greatest womanizer: George Washington or Bill Clinton?
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George Washington
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Clinton by a landslide.
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Way more difficult:
JFK vs. Clinton
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JFK
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JFK for sure.
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Nah man, JFK was fucked up physically, all sorts of back problems and addictions and shit. Clinton all the way.
Yngvie Malmsteen vs. Chuck D.
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i really wish this was yngwie versus flavour flav with the battle ground of a "bling off"
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Never heard of 'em
Caesar Augustus V Julius Caesar
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Clearly Augustus. I mean, Julius won all sorts of wars and then was knifed to death by a bunch of goddamn senators. I mean, that's like being mugged by queens. Augustus at least had the dignity to become emperor and then win a bunch of wars and die of illness.
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Al Capone versus Charles Manson
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In a fair fight, Capone by a mile.
On the Roosevelt vs. Jackson thing, are y'all crazy? And more importantly, did you know this?
While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on October 14, 1912, a saloonkeeper named John Schrank shot him, but the bullet lodged in his chest only after penetrating both his steel eyeglass case and passing through a thick (50 pages) single-folded copy of the speech he was carrying in his jacket.[79] Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he wasn't coughing blood the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt.[80] He spoke for ninety minutes. His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."[81] Afterwards, probes and X-ray showed that the bullet had traversed three inches (76 mm) of tissue and lodged in Roosevelt's chest muscle but did not penetrate the pleura, and it would be more dangerous to attempt to remove the bullet than to leave it in place. Roosevelt carried it with him for the rest of his life.[82]
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With or without families?
Without, but both get to pick their opponent's weapon.
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On the Roosevelt vs. Jackson thing, are y'all crazy? And more importantly, did you know this?
Yes, I did. The problem is that the story is matched by things like this:
Charles Dickinson, the only man Jackson ever killed in a duel, had been goaded into angering Jackson by Jackson's political opponents. In the duel, fought over a horse-racing debt and an insult to his wife on May 30, 1806, Dickinson shot Jackson in the ribs before Jackson returned the fatal shot; Jackson actually allowed Dickinson to shoot first, knowing him to be an excellent shot, and as his opponent reloaded, Jackson shot, even as the bullet lodged itself in his chest. The bullet that struck Jackson was so close to his heart that it could never be safely removed. Jackson had been wounded so frequently in duels that it was said he "rattled like a bag of marbles."[46]
Apparently Jackson's gun even misfired so he had to prepare another shot before calmly and methodically shooting the guy, an act which caused many people to consider the duel to be tantamount to an outright murder.
Trust me, I have no disrespect for Roosevelt and I consider him to be the only other acceptable answer to the "Who's the toughest US President?" question. Jackson and Roosevelt are in a class of their own; they both were stupidly brave, with Jackson leading his troops to victory in the Battle of New Orleans and Roosevelt was nominated for and posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. It really depends on whether you give people the edge for being generally reasonable but tough as nails (Roosevelt) or for being tough as nails and a bona fide cold-blooded crazy person (Jackson).
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Now I'm just imagining a Dirty Dozen style movie peopled entirely with former U.S. presidents from various eras.
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This quote and the story behind it will tell you pretty much everything you need to know about Jackson:
"General Jackson was a very great man, sir. I shot him."
Actually, he shot Jackson twice. It was during a tavern brawl, and he was General Jackson's aide-de-camp at the time. They would remain political allies for the rest of their lives.
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Capone. Manson was a coward who got others to do his dirty work whereas Capone once personally killed a guy with a baseball bat at a fancy dinner for pissing him off.
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At the risk of being boring, I have to ask: Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan?
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Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan is only trained in stage combat.
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Deep Purple vs. Black Sabbath
Lineup is 1969 Purple, original Sabbath lineup but with Dio as well to even out the numbers.
Fistfight.
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Fucking hell dude Sabbath are you kidding me. Ozzy would get knocked out right-quick but Tony Geezer and Bill are no-nonsense Brummy sons-of bitches.
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Qzzy bites the heads offa stuff, too.
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Andrei 'The Giant' Russimov V Paul 'The Big Show' White?
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Big Show. He's more of an athlete than Andre.
Margret Thatcher vs Winston Churchill.
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With armies, police forces or one on one? If it's a military battle then Winston, I'm thinking WW2 was probably better training than the Falklands. If they're allowed cops in a totalitarian regime vs totalitarian regime skull-cracking grudge match then it's got to be Maggie all the way. Churchill just didn't have it in him to put in the boot like Maggie did, and he'd soon find himself detained at her majesty's pleasure on some trumped-up charges after being given a thorough kicking on his way to the station. One on one is a tough call, but my money's on Maggie. It'd be a brutal fight but despite the fat man's greater stature he just doesn't have the iron lady's psychotic killer instinct. He could make a bloody mess of her but she'd still be found ramming his own cigar into his eye or impaling him on a stiletto.
Brendan Behan vs Oliver Reed. Barroom brawl in neutral territory, both drunk as lords.
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gonna disagree with you wolves - in a one on one, my money would be on the one that was trained as a soldier, and that was Winston (officer in the 4th Hussars if memory serves). Maggie was a cold hearted B, but Winnie was definitely as ruthless. But you are definitely right about him being a little more respectful of the rights of his fellow citizens.
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How about...
Chad Kroeger, Scott Weiland, and Eddie Vedder in a free-for-all.
Since they all have similar voices (or that's how it seems to me, anyway).
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They all lose.
Preferably the area they are fighting in is napalm'd. Also Chris Cornell is there.