THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Is it cold in here? on 19 Oct 2012, 16:00
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All sorts of fun with language.
As a starting point, Acronym Fail:
Commissioner of Reykjavik Area Police
(apocryphal)Perkin Elmer Network Information Services
Critical Update Notification Tool
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My great grandfather was a German immigrant who loved his second language. I only visited his home once, I was about 11 or 12, and he'd been dead since before I was born, but his son (my great-uncle) still lived there.
Going to the basement to see the presses (he was a printer), I noticed there was a cardboard cutout of a duck tacked on the wall above the doorway.
As soon as the words, "What's that there for?" left my mouth, I hid my head on the top of the low door frame.
Gotta appreciate a man who can come up with something like that in a different language...
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Great parking signs:
"NO GENIE PARKING"
"RESERVED PATIENT PARKING ONLY" (so where do the outgoing patients park?)
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... and what about the patients who don't have reservations ?
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To me, wordplay means puns. Someone want to start, maybe based on characters, or other strip-related stuff? Or I will myself, Svenever one comes to mind.
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Well, I wouldn't mind a Reed of one or two.
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I'm not sure I'm Mari'd to the idea, myself...
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Yeah, I doubt it's anything worth Raven about.
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I think it'll probably Faye away or something.
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You people just keep getting Meena and Meena.
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Yeah, we just like Torturain' you
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we'll run out of characters soon - we can't just keep on making these jokes with im.pun.ity
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The thread is going to tapir off if we don't branch out to non-characters. Don't keep Hannering on the main cast!
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Dora SHOULD we? ;)
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As long as I remember not to Padma Posts
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This is crazy. We've been trying to bring some sanity to this thread, some stability, and stop it with the punning. But no, all we're doing is just MOMO, MOMO, MOMO, MOMO.
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Fans of Hanna Barbera cartoons collect Hanna lore.
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Unless they're Barber-ic.
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I love deliberately misunderstanding noun phrases, such as the listing in the Yellow Pages for "Dancing Supplies".
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"Motel food"?
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COULOMB people, it's time to electrify this current discussion! It has potential, but it's only been running FARADAY or two, and it's really degenerating, as the last couple of postings AMPly demonstrate. WATT we want is a JOULE of reVOLTing puns, or we might as well talk about something else OERSTED!
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Enough, already! I'm trying to find peace!
Ohm, ohm, ohm, ohm....
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Akima, some of those puns are truly shocking.
Poor Penelope, everyone wants a pizza the girl. (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=956)
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I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED, I tell you!
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So am I, and deeply concerned that some of us won't understand this new direction. But it's not necessarily a sine that we're squares.
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As long as we don't go off at a tangent. I will reciprocate, by putting on my cotan hat and leaving.
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Just remember not to drink and derive.
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And now for something absolutely differential. I don't suffer from mood swings, but sometimes I am tensor nervous enough to scalar wall, but at others I'm much better integrated.
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Don't know if any of us can beat Akima. I think she'll emerge the vector.
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COULOMB people, it's time to electrify this current discussion! It has potential, but it's only been running FARADAY or two, and it's really degenerating, as the last couple of postings AMPly demonstrate. WATT we want is a JOULE of reVOLTing puns, or we might as well talk about something else OERSTED!
Wire you doing this to us?
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What it Boyles down to is Akima was making a scientific pun. Unfortunately, the chymistry was sorely lacking.
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And now for something completely different
The Philosophers Drinking Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QgCfnBtF7M)
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I don't think you broke the rules of utility with that posting, but you definitely Bentham.
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Oh Akima, with your electricity puns you really have been this thread's transformer. Clearly the rest of us are going to have to work hard to keep you at bay. Nat that I would want to stop the joy that you are bringing us but I'm disappointed that looking at the pun rankings I am number four.
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Some of the puns here are quite a stretch. In the same vein, I offer you not my own but a selection from the emails in my in-box at work this morning:
[Context:] Ahh - the cycle light debate - as soon as this comes along I know winter's upon us. An old faithful like mince pies and Christmas trees.
Yes, it goes in cycles.
Indeed, someone peddles this every year.
Thought it rang a bell.. We need a brake from being saddled with the same old tyred conversations.
And as I seemed to start this topic is it wheely interesting and go round and round every so often?
How much longer are we going to be saddled with these bad puns?
We could always notch it up a gear before we pedal off into the sunset.
Can't help but feel this conversation has been derail(leur)ed.
That's getting right to the hub of the matter.....
Much more of this and people will start getting crank-y
We're certainly being led off-topic...
I think we need to pump some more humour into this thread
Why? Do you think it is going flat? I agree, we don't get puns of the same calliper as we used to, perhaps some of us are starting to tyre and need a brake?
I'm surprised no-one has been asked to go fork themselves, yet...
For goodness' sake, put a spoke in it. This cycle of bad puns is making me tyred.
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I recently found myself needing to produce a series of medieval puns. Here is what I came up with in a couple of minutes:
Q: What do people who pledge loyalty to a feudal lord in return for protection use as lubricant?
A: Vassal-ine
Q: What did the indifferent king say to the castle builder's argument?
A: It was a moat point
Q: What was the Knights'-errant favorite movie?
A: A Liege of Their Own
Q: What argument did the castellan use to claim all the mutton chops as his own?
A: He said they were his ramparts
This is what happens when you graduate with degrees in history and literature and then cannot find a remotely relevant job.
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Some of the puns here are quite a stretch.
Hey, mine wasn't stretched, just obscure :-P
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One night in college a bunch of us were up late studying in the mineralogy lab (about 3 a.m.) and we decided to try and come up with geology pickup lines. This is what my research partner came up with:
"You must be a clay particle because you sure are fine."
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"You must be galena because you have perfect cleavage."
Akima's electrical punning really hertz.
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I Gauss that this will continue
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Don't know if any of us can beat Akima. I think she'll emerge the vector.
Well, she has more angles than a trigonometry book.
Since the mortgage I cosined with my wife has been fully paid a long time ago, I guess I can afford to give a bad math puns thread a secant chance.
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Lately emo's struck me as a very Holocene.
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I accidentally bleached a load of clothes the other day, so now I have to wear Paleogenes.
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When the Group of heroes busted open the wizards' spy Ring, they had a Field day playing with the wizardly portals left behind. One of them got very Monoid when he was bombarded with a whole Dimension full of male enhancement ads: a Grothendieck universe. Another stumbled upon a stash of expensive goods, and decided to wear the dress with Manifolds in it that the found. One even found a bunch of felines performing a violent play: a Multicategory show. The leader claimed that he was braver than any of the spies had been, and that he had Monads than them too. The heroes went Turing across he countryside. Everywhere they went, people played music from the 1970's, making it a Functor.
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Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
After the experiments, his dogs joined the Salivation Army.
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So to sum it up, we have a thread devoted to wordplay, yet no poets have shown up Riemann. Clearly we must integrate it into the conversation.
On a side note, it seems odd to have so many subjects transposed among each other, though to be fair staying on topic isn't really my forte.
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Dewey Decimal System? Dewey EVER!
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You don't have to be a Barbarian about it.
Nobody's Conan anyone
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I hope people give the music puns a rest before I throw them off a clef.
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Music puns are bound to lead us to treble. Maybe minor, maybe major, but definitely treble. I wonder if the staff - er, the mods might step in if we start to do away with this nonsense altogether.
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That response seems a bit sharp.
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It was a well-tempered response. Everything was up to coda. I'm just worried that we might get bar-red from the forums if we keep this up (on the other hand, maybe I can bribe one of the mods with a tenor...)
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It was a well-temperedtempo'd response. Everything was up to coda. I'm just worried that we might get bar-red from the forums if we keep this up (on the other hand, maybe I can bribe one of the mods with a tenor...)
*slinks off*
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I have no wish to flatten this ground; I'm happy for people to resolve their tensions here, so that they can avoid discordant answers in discussions elsewhere. I want our moderation to have concord and harmony as one of its key signatures.
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When it comes to singing, I'm bisectional.
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The tenor section of my Detroit choir in the 80s and 90s had a few "tenorettes," and when we rehearsed our part at someone's home, we were on the lookout for psychosectional behavior.
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I'm sure people are just overreacting about the music puns. Even if we didn't go for '33, I'm sure it'd turn out al fine. We just have to be subito with that we say. We cantabile-zy
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Perhaps the modteam would provide us with a bassline for how we should act in this thread.
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I'd imagine that would only be if they were guitarists. Otherwise they'd never be able to keep tabs on everyone. Either way, as long as we know the score, the show can royally go on.
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Oh dear, I appear to be dipping into references. I need to define an object-ion
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I wish I could drum up these puns as well as the rest of you. :-( I guess it just takes more practice....
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Oh, sure, keep beating your own drum like that. You have no basses to keep harping on the puns around here like that.
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This thread is a cymbal of all that is wrong with the language. Flauting the rules is a snare and a delusion!
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Oh god, these are getting bad. It's making me want to get violint.
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Now that was a bit of a stretch.
I saw someone playing piano today but I told them to play forte
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It would seem that puns aren't your forte.
We used to keep a piano in the spare room, but we never played it, could never find the keys.
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Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell? After the experiments, his dogs joined the Salivation Army.
If that is not a win, we need to change the drools.
Five tired musicians need a pentatonic.
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I think I just suffered a groan injury.
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I feel that if we were all party to this injury, we'd be courting disaster XD
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So you're saying we should Squash this before it gets to Titanic proportions?
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It'll only take one really bad pun to sink this thread.
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I wouldn't think so. It clearly has its basin a sound idea, and these arguments do hold water.
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Which reminds me that the most common animal in Australia is the bison -- there is one in every hand-washing station.
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C'mon Is it cold in here, puns are fine but that post was flush with toilet humour.
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I wanted to make some sort of joke about the Coriolis effect, but I'm plumb out of ideas.
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If the toilet humor rises, don't stand on the stool. It's a trap.
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Well, at least it's keeping us engaged.
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Or it could end up one big stinking mess.
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True but sometimes when urine position you just have to go through the motions.
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This thread seems to be going down the pan.
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First mate: Level's rising, sir! The puns haven't stopped!
Captain: Put those planks on the tank cover, call it a poop deck and stand on it!
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.avbbf.com/forum/transfer/files/24/17TH_CENTURY_SHIP_FULLY_RIGGED_by_RIVERKING.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.avbbf.com/forum/thread-5944.html&h=1275&w=1755&sz=442&tbnid=wvYO00aua7bgPM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=120&zoom=1&usg=__Cdkeem9BPmI1Ao4DXKUBXoEJSL4=&docid=C-DxllkFtKEW0M&sa=X&ei=SYSMULX8HIbDyQGdq4HwAQ&ved=0CDAQ9QEwBA&dur=2309 (http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.avbbf.com/forum/transfer/files/24/17TH_CENTURY_SHIP_FULLY_RIGGED_by_RIVERKING.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.avbbf.com/forum/thread-5944.html&h=1275&w=1755&sz=442&tbnid=wvYO00aua7bgPM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=120&zoom=1&usg=__Cdkeem9BPmI1Ao4DXKUBXoEJSL4=&docid=C-DxllkFtKEW0M&sa=X&ei=SYSMULX8HIbDyQGdq4HwAQ&ved=0CDAQ9QEwBA&dur=2309)
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Yes, we all know where the poop deck is.
In the back of the ship.
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Yeah, I was struck by the resemblance between a small 17-th/18th-century ship with a poop deck and one of my toilets with a low tank and elongated bowl. All it needs is the rigging, and maybe some ballast. And a Lilliputian crew.
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That would be crewed humor.
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And a Lilliputian crew.
The Ti-D-Bol man?
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ooCR1rvj6h4/TFhsw5caWmI/AAAAAAAABt4/Pt_mnPCsFAE/s1600/thankyoutydbolman.jpg)
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Rude alliteration:
"May I swive you in Swinomish?"
"May I screw you in Scranton?"
"May I bang you in Bangalore?"
"May I shag you in Shanghai?"
"May I ball you in Bali?"
I'll let someone else post the best one (involving a town in Austria).
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Shall we tup in Timbuktu?
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Schtup in Stuttgart?
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Good lord, I'm not going to take any of you to the ruins of Sodom.
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Good lord, I'm not going to take any of you to the ruins of Sodom.
Can we goose in Gomorrah?
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"May I pork you in Portland?"
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Put a Cork in it.
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Akima almost always adopts any avenue aiding and abetting alliteration.
Sadly she shuns simple smutty sniggering, since she's singularly shy.
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Such shunning of smut shows she's certainly special.
and funnier.
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Now that we've switched from rude alliteration to polite alliteration,
http://www.theotherpages.org/poems/watts02.html
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I was bored in my lecture today so I drew Rainboat Reindeer, who roams randomly without regard to Rabbit's requests (rabbit was sitting on rainboat reindeer's back, for context).
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Akima almost always adopts any avenue aiding and abetting alliteration.
Absolutely! Ask any aware Australian about Akima's amazing alliterative acumen.
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Wordlessly wondering at wonderfully written words
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Fictional business names that are apropos but punny:
A raincoat store, "Poncho Villa".
A plumbing store, "The Toilet Zone".
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A Clock/Watch Store 'Timeless'
A Shoe Store 'Barefoot Originals' - And yes, that is an actual Shoe Shops name.
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We wear woad when we write code.
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In Sheffield we have the following chippies;
The Abbey Fryers (on Abbeydale Road)
New Cod on the Block
Codrophenia
Northern Sole
Battersea Cods Home
A Salt N Battered
In Cod We Trust (mocked up for the film Brassed Off only)
Fishcoteque
We also have a music shop that has a sign reading GONE TO LUNCH, BACH AT 1 p.m., OFFENBACH EARLIER
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My local chippy is Posh Fish.
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There is a surfing-gear shop here called "The Boardy House".
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I think I've mentioned the hir shop near my folks in Centerville, MA;
The Barber of C-ville.
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The name of our bus service: Merrill-Go-Round.
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When our programming prof demonstrated what happens if you increase the spatial and temporal resolution of the spectrogram, he says "The plot thickens!"
I don't think he realised it himself. :laugh:
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A fictional flooring store, "The Vinyl Frontier".
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There's a fishing shop on the outskirts of town here. Its name is "Master Bait & Tackle".
I'm completely serious.
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That is... just...
Please tell me there's a hardware store next to them so they can team up and open "Master Bait and Spackle"
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That is... just...
Please tell me there's a hardware store next to them so they can team up and open "Master Bait and Spackle"
Because spackle is better than tackle? :laugh: I dunno, I think the current name has a nice non-consensual ring to it. :psyduck: (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Master-Bait-And-Tackle/123255554313)
(click the duck)
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I just came across this on Wikipedia. I really am not sure how I got into the article on metahumor.
There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In a specified way,
Resulting in circumstance C.
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Magnificent.
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More Wikipedia:
Caesar ad sum jam forti
Brutus et erat
Caesar sic in omnibus
Brutus sic in at
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I didn't know they were sick
:-D