Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Is it cold in here? on 08 Aug 2013, 20:08

Title: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 08 Aug 2013, 20:08
"I'm so scatterbrained I lost track of my own liver", said Tom, disorganized.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Masterpiece on 09 Aug 2013, 08:16
"I never felt so square", said the root
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 09 Aug 2013, 08:48
"There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.   
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: cesium133 on 09 Aug 2013, 08:52
"There's a hole in my head?" asked Tom, absentmindedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 09 Aug 2013, 11:03
"I thought I heard a voice talking about my breasts," Marigold said cannily.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 09 Aug 2013, 14:20
"I'm back," said Tom, swiftly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: ev4n on 09 Aug 2013, 15:03
My flowers won't grow, said Tom lackadaisically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 09 Aug 2013, 18:48
"The exorcist destroyed my best friend, and now that Prohibition passed I can't even drink to forget!" said Tom, dispirited.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 09 Aug 2013, 19:44
"I most definitely will find that Wolf." said Tom, showing dogged determination.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 09 Aug 2013, 22:16
"I am definitely your type! Face it!" said Tom boldly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 10 Aug 2013, 09:52
His wife was staring at the toaster. "It's browning, Elizabeth, bear it!" Bob said poetically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 10 Aug 2013, 14:15
^^^
Well worth the stretch. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 10 Aug 2013, 15:58
"We all groan at puns when the reach this stage.", Akima sighed theatrically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 10 Aug 2013, 16:17
"You're a font of wisdom for these times," said the courier, seriphically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Barmymoo on 11 Aug 2013, 16:45
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Aug 2013, 19:11
A series of American adventure fiction for children in the early 1900s featured a character named Tom Swift. The form of humor named after him pairs up an adverb with a quote that fits it. For example, "It was YOUR job to change the light bulb", Tom said darkly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 11 Aug 2013, 19:15
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
"This thread is thoroughly tangled!" said May with a snarl.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Aug 2013, 23:45
"Barmymoo broke up with me!", said Tom, dismayed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Barmymoo on 12 Aug 2013, 03:38
:D
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 12 Aug 2013, 06:35
"I had never heard of Tom Swift, but I saw the pattern", observed Akima heuristically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 12 Aug 2013, 06:48
"Look in the box!" said Schrödinger, cattily. 


Inspired by today's Google doodle.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 12 Aug 2013, 06:52
"I can't see where the cat is and where it's going," said Heisenberg uncertainly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 20 Sep 2013, 18:15
"You failed to make a point", said Tom bluntly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: The Seldom Killer on 22 Sep 2013, 01:47
"Really, I though I made it clear", said Tom pointedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 03 Oct 2013, 01:51
"I wonder if we should maybe go camping", said Tom tentatively.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 03 Oct 2013, 07:49
"I'm feeling a bit sick," Tom said coughingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 03 Oct 2013, 08:19
"I'm stupid, a real dunderhead!" Tom said, redundantly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 03 Oct 2013, 19:21
"I've never liked fishing", Tom carped. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 19:32
"I've always preferred Lamb" said Tom sheepishly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 03 Oct 2013, 19:36
"All in favor? All opposed? The neighs have it," said Tom, hoarsely.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 19:40
"Should we put a stop to this?" Asked Tom haltingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: cesium133 on 03 Oct 2013, 19:51
"I think that frog I just licked was poisonous," croaked Tom.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 03 Oct 2013, 20:04
I love that one.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 03 Oct 2013, 20:35
"Is it cold in here?" Tom said, moderatingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 21:17
"Could be him just playing around" Tom said gamely.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Sorflakne on 03 Oct 2013, 22:24
"This is so cool!" Tom ejaculated excitedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 03 Oct 2013, 22:51
Ew. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Sorflakne on 04 Oct 2013, 00:28
Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: pwhodges on 04 Oct 2013, 01:57
Just as "intercourse" was used for "conversation".

I guess someone could have ejaculated while engaged in intercourse...



Puns related to Oktoberfest celebrations in Oxford:
Quote
I really need to confront my fear of German sausages...
...but I fear the wurst!
Quote
When I ordered my sausage I had to wait. The chef told me
  "The wurst is yet to come"
Quote
The little Brats are the Wurst
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: LTK on 04 Oct 2013, 07:17
"I am very hungry," rumbled Tom.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 04 Oct 2013, 08:46
Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.

Yes, of course, but there's only one way that's a pun, hence the "Ew". 

I stand by it. 



Just not in it. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 04 Oct 2013, 12:29
Someone needs to do a Claireface with the Oktoberfest puns.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: pwhodges on 04 Oct 2013, 13:04
I'm told there's a German-style café in London with the slogan "Our wurst is the best".

Look, I didn't think those up...
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: ackblom12 on 04 Oct 2013, 13:06
Kat and I live just down the road from, and are frequent customers of, The Wurst Bar
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 04 Oct 2013, 15:34
Well, there is a local Franchise here called Fritz's Wieners  *Shrug*
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 04 Oct 2013, 15:47
"Guŕncháng (灌肠), one of the Chinese words for sausage, also means enema", Tom choked.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: henri bemis on 04 Oct 2013, 15:52
"I'll have the kielbasa", Tom mustered.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 04 Oct 2013, 16:01
"BBQ or Mustard?"  Tom asked saucily.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 04 Oct 2013, 16:04
"Secret stadium sauce from Miller Park," Tom said with a whisper.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 10 Jul 2015, 22:23
"Cleaning mirrors is something I could see myself doing", Tom reflected.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SubaruStephen on 11 Jul 2015, 12:19
"They don't make cars or carnauba based sealant like they used to.", Tom waxed nostalgically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Jul 2015, 21:03
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?

Are Swifties strictly a US thing?
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SubaruStephen on 13 Jul 2015, 20:59
Pretty much, yeah.
It's also generational since Tom Swift as a literary character is almost forgotten now in the U.S., almost nobody under the age of 50 knows of him.


The only reason I know of him is because I read the entire Young Adult section in a very outdated small town library when I was a kid, they had (almost) the entire Tom Swift Jr. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swift,_Jr.) series, which I ate up like popcorn.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 17 Nov 2015, 12:01
"Carrie Nation visited my saloon", said Tom, dispirited.
EDIT: "I have to concentrate hard to make a camping trip work", said Tom intently.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 27 Nov 2015, 16:50
"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.

"I will make the incision here.", Tom said cuttingly.

"There is no moon tonight.", said Tom darkly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 28 Nov 2015, 10:48
"Be careful, that thing is sharp!" said Tom pointedly
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 06 Dec 2015, 20:56
"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.

Impressively. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 06 Mar 2016, 18:49
"This amputation will go smoothly", said Tom disarmingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 06 Mar 2016, 21:01
"I've shaved my head," Tom stated baldly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 07 Mar 2016, 06:48
"I've got a Mustang now!" He said with a gallop in his step.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Neko_Ali on 07 Mar 2016, 07:54
"I've just been run over" Tom said flatly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 07 Mar 2016, 23:40
"Build a bridge and get over it," Tom advised archly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 09 Mar 2016, 09:22
"I think ED has weakened my sense of humor," ejaculated old Tom, seminally. "It gets limper by the year."
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 01 Jan 2018, 17:11
"You call this a musical?" asked Les, miserably.

My wife just sent me a bunch of these.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 02 Jan 2018, 13:58
"Chewing tobacco is disgusting," Tom spat.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: JoeCovenant on 03 Jan 2018, 04:58
"It feels like she just tore it out of my chest" said Tom, disheartened.

"These are my new breeding hens" said Tom, cockily.  (Yes - I steered away from the obvious, here!)  :)

"But I want MORE ferment grape!" Tom whined.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 23 Jan 2018, 18:18
"The flood washed away my bobsled track", said Tom, deluged.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 31 Jan 2018, 00:59
Bonus points for the pun, but that's a slippery slope...
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: JoeCovenant on 31 Jan 2018, 02:24
"E...ever...y..b..bone... in...m...my...bo...dy...sh...sh...shattered..." said Tom, disjointedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 01 Feb 2018, 00:20
"Those geese are really noisy," Tom cackled.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SordidEuphemism on 16 May 2018, 05:25
"This place... hasn't seen an update... for over a fortnight," Tom too-weakly observed.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 26 May 2018, 08:45
"Every time I visit Paris I jump off a bridge!", said Tom, inSeine.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 31 May 2018, 06:47
"I didn't know that La Paz was in its own country", said Tom, obliviously.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 04 Jul 2018, 12:13
"I don't know if these plants are poison ivy but I will run through them anyway!", said Tom, rashly.

"I'm so glad those metal bars kept me from falling into the storm drain", said Tom, gratefully.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 14 Jul 2018, 20:11
"That's a beautiful tap," Tom gushed.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: DSL on 28 Jul 2018, 10:51
"That's a big opening," Tom yawned.