Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Is it cold in here? on 08 Aug 2013, 20:08

Title: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 08 Aug 2013, 20:08
"I'm so scatterbrained I lost track of my own liver", said Tom, disorganized.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Masterpiece on 09 Aug 2013, 08:16
"I never felt so square", said the root
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 09 Aug 2013, 08:48
"There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.   
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: cesium133 on 09 Aug 2013, 08:52
"There's a hole in my head?" asked Tom, absentmindedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 09 Aug 2013, 11:03
"I thought I heard a voice talking about my breasts," Marigold said cannily.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 09 Aug 2013, 14:20
"I'm back," said Tom, swiftly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: ev4n on 09 Aug 2013, 15:03
My flowers won't grow, said Tom lackadaisically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 09 Aug 2013, 18:48
"The exorcist destroyed my best friend, and now that Prohibition passed I can't even drink to forget!" said Tom, dispirited.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 09 Aug 2013, 19:44
"I most definitely will find that Wolf." said Tom, showing dogged determination.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 09 Aug 2013, 22:16
"I am definitely your type! Face it!" said Tom boldly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 10 Aug 2013, 09:52
His wife was staring at the toaster. "It's browning, Elizabeth, bear it!" Bob said poetically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 10 Aug 2013, 14:15
^^^
Well worth the stretch. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 10 Aug 2013, 15:58
"We all groan at puns when the reach this stage.", Akima sighed theatrically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 10 Aug 2013, 16:17
"You're a font of wisdom for these times," said the courier, seriphically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Barmymoo on 11 Aug 2013, 16:45
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Aug 2013, 19:11
A series of American adventure fiction for children in the early 1900s featured a character named Tom Swift. The form of humor named after him pairs up an adverb with a quote that fits it. For example, "It was YOUR job to change the light bulb", Tom said darkly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 11 Aug 2013, 19:15
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
"This thread is thoroughly tangled!" said May with a snarl.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Aug 2013, 23:45
"Barmymoo broke up with me!", said Tom, dismayed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Barmymoo on 12 Aug 2013, 03:38
:D
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 12 Aug 2013, 06:35
"I had never heard of Tom Swift, but I saw the pattern", observed Akima heuristically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 12 Aug 2013, 06:48
"Look in the box!" said Schrödinger, cattily. 


Inspired by today's Google doodle.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 12 Aug 2013, 06:52
"I can't see where the cat is and where it's going," said Heisenberg uncertainly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 20 Sep 2013, 18:15
"You failed to make a point", said Tom bluntly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: The Seldom Killer on 22 Sep 2013, 01:47
"Really, I though I made it clear", said Tom pointedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 03 Oct 2013, 01:51
"I wonder if we should maybe go camping", said Tom tentatively.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 03 Oct 2013, 07:49
"I'm feeling a bit sick," Tom said coughingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 03 Oct 2013, 08:19
"I'm stupid, a real dunderhead!" Tom said, redundantly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 03 Oct 2013, 19:21
"I've never liked fishing", Tom carped. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 19:32
"I've always preferred Lamb" said Tom sheepishly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 03 Oct 2013, 19:36
"All in favor? All opposed? The neighs have it," said Tom, hoarsely.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 19:40
"Should we put a stop to this?" Asked Tom haltingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: cesium133 on 03 Oct 2013, 19:51
"I think that frog I just licked was poisonous," croaked Tom.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 03 Oct 2013, 20:04
I love that one.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 03 Oct 2013, 20:35
"Is it cold in here?" Tom said, moderatingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 03 Oct 2013, 21:17
"Could be him just playing around" Tom said gamely.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Sorflakne on 03 Oct 2013, 22:24
"This is so cool!" Tom ejaculated excitedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 03 Oct 2013, 22:51
Ew. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Sorflakne on 04 Oct 2013, 00:28
Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: pwhodges on 04 Oct 2013, 01:57
Just as "intercourse" was used for "conversation".

I guess someone could have ejaculated while engaged in intercourse...



Puns related to Oktoberfest celebrations in Oxford:
Quote
I really need to confront my fear of German sausages...
...but I fear the wurst!
Quote
When I ordered my sausage I had to wait. The chef told me
  "The wurst is yet to come"
Quote
The little Brats are the Wurst
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: LTK on 04 Oct 2013, 07:17
"I am very hungry," rumbled Tom.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 04 Oct 2013, 08:46
Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.

Yes, of course, but there's only one way that's a pun, hence the "Ew". 

I stand by it. 



Just not in it. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 04 Oct 2013, 12:29
Someone needs to do a Claireface with the Oktoberfest puns.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: pwhodges on 04 Oct 2013, 13:04
I'm told there's a German-style café in London with the slogan "Our wurst is the best".

Look, I didn't think those up...
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: ackblom12 on 04 Oct 2013, 13:06
Kat and I live just down the road from, and are frequent customers of, The Wurst Bar
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 04 Oct 2013, 15:34
Well, there is a local Franchise here called Fritz's Wieners  *Shrug*
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 04 Oct 2013, 15:47
"Guŕncháng (灌肠), one of the Chinese words for sausage, also means enema", Tom choked.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: henri bemis on 04 Oct 2013, 15:52
"I'll have the kielbasa", Tom mustered.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 04 Oct 2013, 16:01
"BBQ or Mustard?"  Tom asked saucily.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 04 Oct 2013, 16:04
"Secret stadium sauce from Miller Park," Tom said with a whisper.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 10 Jul 2015, 22:23
"Cleaning mirrors is something I could see myself doing", Tom reflected.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SubaruStephen on 11 Jul 2015, 12:19
"They don't make cars or carnauba based sealant like they used to.", Tom waxed nostalgically.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 11 Jul 2015, 21:03
"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?

Are Swifties strictly a US thing?
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SubaruStephen on 13 Jul 2015, 20:59
Pretty much, yeah.
It's also generational since Tom Swift as a literary character is almost forgotten now in the U.S., almost nobody under the age of 50 knows of him.


The only reason I know of him is because I read the entire Young Adult section in a very outdated small town library when I was a kid, they had (almost) the entire Tom Swift Jr. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swift,_Jr.) series, which I ate up like popcorn.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 17 Nov 2015, 12:01
"Carrie Nation visited my saloon", said Tom, dispirited.
EDIT: "I have to concentrate hard to make a camping trip work", said Tom intently.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 27 Nov 2015, 16:50
"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.

"I will make the incision here.", Tom said cuttingly.

"There is no moon tonight.", said Tom darkly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Kugai on 28 Nov 2015, 10:48
"Be careful, that thing is sharp!" said Tom pointedly
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Carl-E on 06 Dec 2015, 20:56
"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.

Impressively. 
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 06 Mar 2016, 18:49
"This amputation will go smoothly", said Tom disarmingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 06 Mar 2016, 21:01
"I've shaved my head," Tom stated baldly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: jwhouk on 07 Mar 2016, 06:48
"I've got a Mustang now!" He said with a gallop in his step.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Neko_Ali on 07 Mar 2016, 07:54
"I've just been run over" Tom said flatly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 07 Mar 2016, 23:40
"Build a bridge and get over it," Tom advised archly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 09 Mar 2016, 09:22
"I think ED has weakened my sense of humor," ejaculated old Tom, seminally. "It gets limper by the year."
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Redball on 01 Jan 2018, 17:11
"You call this a musical?" asked Les, miserably.

My wife just sent me a bunch of these.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 02 Jan 2018, 13:58
"Chewing tobacco is disgusting," Tom spat.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: JoeCovenant on 03 Jan 2018, 04:58
"It feels like she just tore it out of my chest" said Tom, disheartened.

"These are my new breeding hens" said Tom, cockily.  (Yes - I steered away from the obvious, here!)  :)

"But I want MORE ferment grape!" Tom whined.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 23 Jan 2018, 18:18
"The flood washed away my bobsled track", said Tom, deluged.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 31 Jan 2018, 00:59
Bonus points for the pun, but that's a slippery slope...
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: JoeCovenant on 31 Jan 2018, 02:24
"E...ever...y..b..bone... in...m...my...bo...dy...sh...sh...shattered..." said Tom, disjointedly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 01 Feb 2018, 00:20
"Those geese are really noisy," Tom cackled.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: SordidEuphemism on 16 May 2018, 05:25
"This place... hasn't seen an update... for over a fortnight," Tom too-weakly observed.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 26 May 2018, 08:45
"Every time I visit Paris I jump off a bridge!", said Tom, inSeine.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 31 May 2018, 06:47
"I didn't know that La Paz was in its own country", said Tom, obliviously.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 04 Jul 2018, 12:13
"I don't know if these plants are poison ivy but I will run through them anyway!", said Tom, rashly.

"I'm so glad those metal bars kept me from falling into the storm drain", said Tom, gratefully.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 14 Jul 2018, 20:11
"That's a beautiful tap," Tom gushed.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: DSL on 28 Jul 2018, 10:51
"That's a big opening," Tom yawned.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: LTK on 30 Sep 2019, 06:26
Tom Swifties Written By An Author Willing To Go To Any Lengths To Make A Tom Swifty Thus Resulting In Constructions That Often Require More Work For Readers Than For The Author (http://nothings.org/writing/swifty.html)
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 25 Feb 2021, 21:22
Necro, but I thought this was a good one.

"I can't find my snakes again!", said Cleopatra, exasperated.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: 厚目眠子 on 26 Feb 2021, 22:04
"Build a bridge and get over it," Tom advised archly.
"Get over it", 厚目眠子 abridged.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 26 Feb 2021, 23:02
Beautiful!
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Farideh on 04 Mar 2021, 12:18
"Mind your step coming down the stairs!" said Tom, condescendingly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Tova on 04 Mar 2021, 23:18
"Let me get you another drink," Tom replied.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Akima on 29 Apr 2021, 17:18
"I don't understand this matter," said Tom darkly.
Title: Re: Random Swifties
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 25 Nov 2021, 12:47
I just searched and it looks like this thread does not yet include the ultimate, perfect, Swiftie. The original Tom Swift was always building something.

"I'm building my own starship", said Tom, enterprisingly.