THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => MAKE => Topic started by: bhtooefr on 02 Nov 2016, 08:41
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So, here's what I posted over in the WCDT:
Being a German beer, I'm also suspecting that this thing is Reinheitsgebot-compliant... meaning the evilness needs to be entirely done in barley, hops, and yeast.
Or could you stretch the definition of "water", and add vodka after brewing it?
Edit: Wait a second, a "barley vodka" without filtration to make it a neutral spirit would just be... whisk(e)y. And, it's made of water, barley, and yeast - three of the four legal ingredients. So, that's how to fortify it. Add whisk(e)y, or even just distill the beer (and have a hopped whisk(e)y). I'm thinking a carbonated hopped whisk(e)y, if you somehow could keep it dark, and called it a beer, would count as Wurmvater Totenkopfgeburtstag dunkelbrau.
I do think I'm on the right track by saying it should be a hopped whisk(e)y of some sort, but... I'm thinking more about this. So, let's look at the first word - wurmvater, or literally, "worm father". There's a few ways to go with that. So, the "mother" of the beer would be the barrel it's aged in, so what would the father be, the ingredients put in there? The yeast? Or, is the beer itself a "father of worms" (which could be explained away as being a killer)?
Or, one could disregard the gender of the beer barrel (which is actually neuter in German, it appears), and go for a "worm barrel". Could a wormwood barrel even be made (I'm thinking it'd basically be particleboard planks made of wormwood)? Alternately, seems used absinthe barrels are a bit of a thing nowadays for aging beers.
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I'm afraid that the "Reinheitsgebot" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot) specifically refers to brewed beverages - so nothing that has undergone distillation or burning may called (rather: sold as a) Beer in Germany.
HOWEVER: The Reinheitsgebot dates back to 1516, a time when runes e.g. where long out of use in communities in the area that is now called Germany and beer-brewing traditions prior to 1516 were considerably more diverse (There's even one modern exemption to the Rheinheitsgebot that uses sugar in the brewing process)
TL;DR - Anything with runes on its cask could (reasonably) be assumed to pre-date the Reinheitsgebot by up to a Millennium (Also: It's either radioactive, or summons gibbering Horrors from the other side of space-time, remember? So even if it did follow the Reinheitsgebot, it could never be legally sold anyhow)
I'd say just screw the purity law, yes?
As to the "Wurmvater", there's:
* Thallik Wormfather (http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Thallik_Wormfather) of the Elderscrolls online
oooooooooor (believe it or not)
* An actual, living German named Hans-Gerhard Starck out of Berlin-Schöneberg, who earned his nickname "Wormfather Starck" due to his habit of using specimens of the compost-worm "Eisenia Foetida" to digest his organic Kitchen-waste. He has successfully converted 100 Berlin households to "worming" ...
(src (http://www.berliner-kurier.de/wie-sich-wurmvater-starck-um-die-muellentsorgung-kuemmert-18143056)) SCHÖNEBEBG - Bei Hans-Gerhard Starck hat die Müllabfuhr schon lange nichts mehr zu suchen. Seit 20 Jahren kompostiert der Schöneberger auf seinem Balkon auf originelle Weise Küchenabfälle. Dank des Kompostwurms "Eisenia Foetida", eines nahen Verwandten des Regenwurms. Mit Vorliebe verspeisen sie alle organischen Abfälle. – Quelle: http://www.berliner-kurier.de/18143056 ©2016
I leave it up to you which one you'd rather see in connection with something you want to pour down your gullet - the fictitious Necromancer, or the actual biological-waste-eating-worms-connaisseur. I guess the Wormfather would mostly be associated with death, corpses & compostation.
More interesting would be the "Totenkopfgeburtstag" (Skullbirthday): Most Germans would probably associate the picture of a skull with either "Warning: Poison" or the "Totenkopfflagge", i.e. the Jolly Roger.
There is actually a famous German privateer, one Klaus Störtebecker (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klaus_St%C3%B6rtebeker), with an interesting legend to him, or more specifically, to his execution:
The most famous legend of Störtebeker relates to the execution itself. Störtebeker is said to have asked the mayor of Hamburg to release as many of his companions as he could walk past after being beheaded. Following the granting of this request and the subsequent beheading, Störtebeker's body arose and walked past eleven of his men before the executioner tripped him with an outstretched foot. Nevertheless, the eleven men were executed along with the others.
Conveniently, Störtebecker pre-dates the purity-law by more than a century.
So your beverage should be something that could conceivably kill a strong man by blowing his head off and cause his (headless) corpse to rise & go looking for a ship to run circles around. :laugh:
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OK, so the LD50 of ethanol, administered orally, to a rat, is 7.06 g/kg.
Let's say a "strong man" is 100 kg, so you need 706 g of ethanol in this beverage to do it on ethanol alone. That's 0.89 liters of ethanol.
Jesus.
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I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say its brewed using the finest hops and barley, fresh mountain spring water and the secret ingredient of THE SACRIFICED SOULS OF ONE HUNDRED SEASONED DRUNKARDS for that lasting zap.
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Wait! I totally forgot that "Lindwurm" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindworm) is an old-school German term for Dragon! So: Dragons, medieval Pirates, headless corpses that rise and try to run laps - that's your beer. Now go & make it so! :laugh:
EDIT: In the Silmarilion, Glaurung (http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Glaurung), the first dragon in Middle-Earth, is also referred to as Worm, Father of Dragons.
And there's a hymn to Wyrmvater Glaurung, of course:
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Start with this 4.5% by volume cask brewed beer.
http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/marstons-pedigree-cask/44797/
Leave outside over winter, removing the ice.
Do it again over 2 successive winters.
That's not distillation as such.. but you can double the alcohol concentration without getting rid of the heat sensitive volatiles.
It works even better on mead. Three winter mead is the stuff of legends. Usually in Norse.
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BrewDog actually uses freeze distillation for commercially sold 32-55% ABV beers.
That's right, they actually did a 55%. (And, looks like they're actually reissuing it as a perk for investing in their US brewery, which is actually not far from me: https://www.brewdog.com/usa/lowdown/blog/brewdog-columbus-and-the-end-of-history)
Their 32% started as a 10% ABV Imperial Stout: https://www.brewdog.com/usa/lowdown/blog/the-worlds-strongest-beer-tactical-nuclear-penguin
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It's either radioactive, or summons gibbering Horrors from the other side of space-time, remember? So even if it did follow the Reinheitsgebot, it could never be legally sold anyhow)
Pffft fun police.
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It works even better on mead. Three winter mead is the stuff of legends. Usually in Norse.
Three winter mead should be drunk on a three dog night (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CEajbAbUkAATaxs.jpg), I guess?
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Ah, ah, tritium is radioactive, yet is quite legal for an illumination source...
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Just like the Sun! :-D