I'm also curious about people who boys grow up with only brothers vs girls who grow up with only sisters vs boys who grow up with only sisters vs girls who grow up with only brothers vs boys/girls who grow up with brothers and sisters.
Well, I am the oldest of three sons. And I can tell you quite uncontroversially that the middle child of the three of us was the troublemaker, not the peacemaker.Make no mistake that all three of us fought. I usually played peacemaker either out of exasperation or when my ungrateful younger brother was about to get himself hospitalized (usually figuratively, probably actually prevented it twice).
There are a lot of interacting factors, as you say. In our case, the fact that the two younger brothers were much closer in age to each other than to me was a big part of the dynamic. The two of them fought a lot.
I'm an only child, but I'm not the firstborn of my family. Take that, Adler.
Though, as I understand it from others, an age gap greater than 3-to-5 years is about the only way to get most siblings to act civil with each other (short of a very specific form of "hippie-dippie" parenting that still provides structure).I'm an only child, but I'm not the firstborn of my family. Take that, Adler.
Age gap can do that to you. Among other things, which I do not wish upon anyone.
Well, I am the oldest of three sons. And I can tell you quite uncontroversially that the middle child of the three of us was the troublemaker, not the peacemaker.
There are a lot of interacting factors, as you say. In our case, the fact that the two younger brothers were much closer in age to each other than to me was a big part of the dynamic. The two of them fought a lot.
Yeah, that’s definitely the rule and if you forget the dogs will remind you.
I SORTA can do it, but it's really awkward.That's okay.
Though, as I understand it from others, an age gap greater than 3-to-5 years is about the only way to get most siblings to act civil with each other (short of a very specific form of "hippie-dippie" parenting that still provides structure).I'm an only child, but I'm not the firstborn of my family. Take that, Adler.
Age gap can do that to you. Among other things, which I do not wish upon anyone.
I had thought that Brun would benefit from a companion like Momo but it looks like she already has a friend with a social protocol database.
Everybody is different.Though, as I understand it from others, an age gap greater than 3-to-5 years is about the only way to get most siblings to act civil with each other (short of a very specific form of "hippie-dippie" parenting that still provides structure).I'm an only child, but I'm not the firstborn of my family. Take that, Adler.
Age gap can do that to you. Among other things, which I do not wish upon anyone.
3 and a half years isn't enough to make my sister and I act civil to one another...ethen again she's hypercritical as a defense mechanism and I'm overly protective of family so it's a default that we clash regardless :cry:
Yeah, that’s definitely the rule and if you forget the dogs will remind you.
Everybody is different.Though, as I understand it from others, an age gap greater than 3-to-5 years is about the only way to get most siblings to act civil with each other (short of a very specific form of "hippie-dippie" parenting that still provides structure).I'm an only child, but I'm not the firstborn of my family. Take that, Adler.
Age gap can do that to you. Among other things, which I do not wish upon anyone.
3 and a half years isn't enough to make my sister and I act civil to one another...ethen again she's hypercritical as a defense mechanism and I'm overly protective of family so it's a default that we clash regardless :cry:
Yeah, dogs are generally the most hyperactive gregarious five year olds you’ll ever meet, for most of their lifespan. That, together with most doggos not going to doggy college (aka obedience school) because most humans forget its even an option, means they never really develop an ‘off’ button. Especially when they’re already all keyed up from being in the park where there are always lots of new smells and people to go investigate and/or beg treats and pets from.Yeah, that’s definitely the rule and if you forget the dogs will remind you.
Oh, so that's why dogs and I don't mix: I try to give them space and only approach when they are still and see that their caretaker isn't in trouble...
Plus I've only been around a couple of dogs for more than a few minutes in my entire 37 and a half years of life
So, important question: does Millefeuille think this is a date? She’s blushing a bit in today’s strip, and that does seem like the exact kind of wacky misunderstanding Brun would get herself into.
I'm also curious about people who boys grow up with only brothers vs girls who grow up with only sisters vs boys who grow up with only sisters vs girls who grow up with only brothers vs boys/girls who grow up with brothers and sisters.
I do have the feeling that they're both in need of making new, good, close friends. And perhaps of seeing the people in their life for what they can be. But then, who a m I to talk.Jeph insists he's uncertain as to whether or not it's meant to be.
Also: *insert awkward, unfunny joke about sub-text*.
Perhaps someone who knows more on the subject than me can say how typical is Brun's experience of what I'm guessing is some type of ASD? Still, at least all the good boys and girls definitely seem to like her!
Perhaps someone who knows more on the subject than me can say how typical is Brun's experience of what I'm guessing is some type of ASD? Still, at least all the good boys and girls definitely seem to like her!
Reality is often absurd but I rarely consider it to be an error on my end, honestly.Perhaps someone who knows more on the subject than me can say how typical is Brun's experience of what I'm guessing is some type of ASD? Still, at least all the good boys and girls definitely seem to like her!
Speaking for myself, I've been sort of coming to terms with the realization that I'm autistic over the last few years, so I don't know if I can say how "typical" it is, but a large part of it can be summed up as a very generalized fundamental feeling of "there's something wrong with me." Sometimes, this manifests as a weird contemplation of the strange absurdity of reality and existence, and sometimes, it manifests as everything, everything, everything, everything, everything running through my head all at once and I can't deal with it.
I don't know if that makes sense. It is a concept and a feeling that is very hard to put into words.
Re: 4242 MultilayeredGroucho Marx once said "Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo."
Jeph says "subtext?"
I say "Innuendo and out the other..."
Is the latter sometimes offset by periods of intense hyperfocusing?Perhaps someone who knows more on the subject than me can say how typical is Brun's experience of what I'm guessing is some type of ASD? Still, at least all the good boys and girls definitely seem to like her!
Speaking for myself, I've been sort of coming to terms with the realization that I'm autistic over the last few years, so I don't know if I can say how "typical" it is, but a large part of it can be summed up as a very generalized fundamental feeling of "there's something wrong with me." Sometimes, this manifests as a weird contemplation of the strange absurdity of reality and existence, and sometimes, it manifests as everything, everything, everything, everything, everything running through my head all at once and I can't deal with it.
I don't know if that makes sense. It is a concept and a feeling that is very hard to put into words.
Is the latter sometimes offset by periods of intense hyperfocusing?
As a PS, I don't know what a millifeulle would look like either but I like the sound of it! Curse my diabetes!
Similar - this whole multitasking thing that manager types espouse I find totally alien and from my observations of others generate less efficiency and a higher incidence of errors.Is the latter sometimes offset by periods of intense hyper-focusing?Yeah, sometimes... and sometimes, I'm even able to channel that into doing something productive! :)
So the desert milifuelle is basically a multi-decker sandwich (cake? bar?) made with turnover dough wafers and custard?
Hmmm..... I might have to try to make this.
EDIT: Adding possible substitution words that may fit better than 'sandwich'. I'm no professional patisserie.
Everybody is different.
I can see the dog's point of view. Millie looks more or less human but she doesn't sound human or smell human, so, naturally, the dog decides to go to 'warning/alarm' mode. Then Brun suddenly steps forwards and knows the Words (or, more accurately, the tone of voice and body language). Then she makes with the skritches and all is right in a certain good boy's world!
Everybody is different.
...I'm not.
Comic's up.
So. who is the Dog Whisperer, Brun or Emily?
More dog owners need to get that lecture, annoyingly.
FWIW, I have already fallen in love with Rupert the Bear-Dog.
Yeah, Brun strikes me as the sort of person who would obey posted rules because they are posted rules and find it odd that anyone wouldn't immediately do so. Meanwhile, this guy has one of the most irritating personality traits that I know of: Just don't bother thinking about the consequences to doing exactly what you want to do, no matter the risks. The number of fatal accidents triggered by this mindset boggles the mind.
I don't care what the rules are. If a stranger lectured me in public like that (A person of Brun's age no less--how old is she 20? 21?) I would LOSE MY SHIT.
An explosion is imminent. Or probably not. Foreshadowing is never foreshadowing until it is.
I don't care what the rules are. If a stranger lectured me in public like that (A person of Brun's age no less--how old is she 20? 21?) I would LOSE MY SHIT.
Do people still ask for phone numbers these days? Seems archaic.No one is going to call, obviously, but you still need a number to text someone.
Meanwhile, this guy has one of the most irritating personality traits that I know of: Just don't bother thinking about the consequences to doing exactly what you want to do, no matter the risks. The number of fatal accidents triggered by this mindset boggles the mind.
Do people still ask for phone numbers these days? Seems archaic.No one is going to call, obviously, but you still need a number to text someone.
Do people still ask for phone numbers these days? Seems archaic.
I don't care what the rules are. If a stranger lectured me in public like that (A person of Brun's age no less--how old is she 20? 21?) I would LOSE MY SHIT./Begin John Cleese Voice
Brun's lecture resonates with me a whole lot, too many people don't concern themselves with what consequences their actions might have.
Two questions:
1. Does random dude with Rupert realize Millefeuille and Brun are on a date?
2. Do Millefeuille and Brun realize they're on a date?
He doesn't strike me as too bright or observant
Man wouldn't it be great if it were possible to have the dating experience without anyone having to be uncomfortable at any point?
I think asking is always okay as long as you're prepared for the answer to be no, and you know 'no' means 'no'. Dating is super hard. Meeting people is super hard. You have to make yourself super vulnerable to rejection, which sucks too.
Really, Jeph? Really?
"Don't ask Strangers for their number! It could...gasp!...make them feel uncomfortable! And the last thing we can expect grown, adult people to deal with is...feeling uncomfortable!"
Thank you! I almost never post to these forums, but Jeph's declaration against asking for phone numbers is just awful enough to draw me in. You should definitely be willing to take no for an answer (graciously), but the idea that we can't pursue or even inquire about people we find interesting is just insanity. If bonds are to be built, someone has to take a chance, or we all just end up huddling in our own caves alone.
If you're one of those people who takes a lot of social cues from QC, please hear me when I say this: Jeph sometimes really gets wound around his own axle about his own hangups, which are often highly skewed from the standards of normal social interaction. On this issue, he is just plain wrong.
If you like someone, talk to them. If you want to see them again, say so, ask for their number, ask them out. Be kind, be gentle, be gracious in rejection, but for the love of god don't isolate yourself even further in this already isolated world because you're terrified that you might for ten seconds make someone slightly uncomfortable.
QuoteReally, Jeph? Really?
"Don't ask Strangers for their number! It could...gasp!...make them feel uncomfortable! And the last thing we can expect grown, adult people to deal with is...feeling uncomfortable!"
Thank you! I almost never post to these forums, but Jeph's declaration against asking for phone numbers is just awful enough to draw me in. You should definitely be willing to take no for an answer (graciously), but the idea that we can't pursue or even inquire about people we find interesting is just insanity. If bonds are to be built, someone has to take a chance, or we all just end up huddling in our own caves alone.
If you're one of those people who takes a lot of social cues from QC, please hear me when I say this: Jeph sometimes really gets wound around his own axle about his own hangups, which are often highly skewed from the standards of normal social interaction. On this issue, he is just plain wrong. If you like someone, talk to them. If you want to see them again, say so, ask for their number, ask them out. Be kind, be gentle, be gracious in rejection, but for the love of god don't isolate yourself even further in this already isolated world because you're terrified that you might for ten seconds make someone slightly uncomfortable.
As I said, I do not agree with Jeph that asking someone for their phone number is something that should be never done. However, what is rarely discussed in these scenarios is the nuance involved. I don't think you should always talk to someone if you like them. There are contexts here. Somebody might have just broken up with another person and not be interested in a relationship. They might have trauma. If you don't know them that well, you might have no idea what is going on in their lives that make that conversation difficult before you start it, with them unprepared.
Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
. However, what is rarely discussed in these scenarios is the nuance involved. I don't think you should always talk to someone if you like them. There are contexts here.
And it's not like that's the only kind of context. Is a woman walking in the park in casual clothes with a friend really cruising for ass?
Spoken like someone who has never had a dude threaten you because you said no to him.
Asking for them number of someone you just met, especially one you have barely interacted with (like this instance) is rude and presumptuous.
Possibly a significant point in this debate: Jeph said you shouldn’t ask strangers for their phone numbers. He did not say you shouldn’t ask anyone for their phone number.
Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
QuoteReally, Jeph? Really?
"Don't ask Strangers for their number! It could...gasp!...make them feel uncomfortable! And the last thing we can expect grown, adult people to deal with is...feeling uncomfortable!"
Thank you! I almost never post to these forums, but Jeph's declaration against asking for phone numbers is just awful enough to draw me in. You should definitely be willing to take no for an answer (graciously), but the idea that we can't pursue or even inquire about people we find interesting is just insanity. If bonds are to be built, someone has to take a chance, or we all just end up huddling in our own caves alone.
If you're one of those people who takes a lot of social cues from QC, please hear me when I say this: Jeph sometimes really gets wound around his own axle about his own hangups, which are often highly skewed from the standards of normal social interaction. On this issue, he is just plain wrong. If you like someone, talk to them. If you want to see them again, say so, ask for their number, ask them out. Be kind, be gentle, be gracious in rejection, but for the love of god don't isolate yourself even further in this already isolated world because you're terrified that you might for ten seconds make someone slightly uncomfortable.
Spoken like someone who has never had a dude threaten you because you said no to him.
Asking for them number of someone you just met, especially one you have barely interacted with (like this instance) is rude and presumptuous.
Just mho.
Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not one to try to exchange phone numbers in these kinds of situations, but I have to ask. Is giving your number to someone really less likely to cause awkwardness than asking for theirs? I would have thought that handing your phone number over could also be awkward.
My impression was that this guy handled it pretty well. What could have been very uncomfortable would have been if he'd reacted in any way negatively to the refusal, but he accepted it with perfectly good grace.
It's also ungodly rude to tell someone "I didn't say you can leave, you have to stay so I can pet your dog"
Guy was a jerk for not having his dog on leash, he acknowledged that and apologized, Brun proceeded to be ruder than him by informing him SHE never said he could leave, and then lectured him yet again after a polite request, that was easily accepted as a no.
I just don't care for the attitude of "If main character is rude/problematic it's absolutely fine, if other character does it, WOW HOW RUDE"
It's also ungodly rude to tell someone "I didn't say you can leave, you have to stay so I can pet your dog"
Guy was a jerk for not having his dog on leash, he acknowledged that and apologized, Brun proceeded to be ruder than him by informing him SHE never said he could leave, and then lectured him yet again after a polite request, that was easily accepted as a no.
I just don't care for the attitude of "If main character is rude/problematic it's absolutely fine, if other character does it, WOW HOW RUDE"
They're not both wrong, whatever that is supposed to mean, they're just your average flawed human beings doing their best, and no I will not let this go.sitnspin may have been referring to the oft neglected concept of shared blame.
Those are not mutually exclusive concepts.
I just don't care for the attitude of "If main character is rude/problematic it's absolutely fine, if other character does it, WOW HOW RUDE"
The thing is the bones of the last bit of your argument there don't necessarily work.
The fact that harm was no caused does not mean that it is not potentially harm causing behaviour, regardless of what we're talking about.
Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
People still use Facebook? I haven't had an account in years.It refuses to die.
People still use Facebook? I haven't had an account in years.
Zuckerberg is currently briarpatching in regards to social media regulations (which would ultimately cement the current ones) last I had heard.People still use Facebook? I haven't had an account in years.It refuses to die.
I hadn't heard the tern Briarpatching but Walled Gardens were something he was pushing for the "FREE" internet access for the impoverished areas like India.Criminy......
Fortunately the government caught on, weren't influenced by contributions and killed it right off.
Sadly the EU bureaucrats, where some might have good intentions, have made a right awful mess of things trying to kick the Big US companies in the jewels and effectively locked local startups out.
Sadly the alternatives have died off and/or been consumed and the new ones are even more problematic - TikTok anyone? :psyduck:
Everyone is a psychopathic data overlord wanting to make the most $$$ out of you no matter what the consequences.
Kind of late to the discussion but as a woman reading this thread, I can't help wondering if those thinking Jeph is wrong for saying "Don't ask strangers for their number" are men...
Because based on my life experiences as a woman, I completely agree with Jeph's comment and with these posts:
Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
I can't help wondering if it's an unwillingness to give up control (and/or the chance to badger someone into giving out their number when they'd rather not) that makes some people so resistant to switching to giving out their number instead of asking for the other person's number. If the ideal goal is to date someone where there's mutual interest, then surely the approach detailed in the last paragraph is the best approach... But perhaps that's not the goal for these people who claim they "just have to be allowed to ask for a stranger's number or dating will grind to a halt". Because it won't. But for some reason some people keep on believing it will.
Lately I've been having moments where it feels like my body is more a vehicle I happen to inhabit than a true extension of myself.A notion has person as the psyche, his body as all the by psyche controlled; partly, his flesh (where apropos, whollier, chassis) is of his (i.e. extended) body---with property (lucid or illicit). (With such notion is measure: body fitness (psyche's); dysphoria bodine may be about low such fitness, may be about that body an other using. e.g. By loathed task, externity, sensible continuent, yondly farthens, whither directing, nigh imparticipating. Beware intruders et alia.)
In particular when I'm talking with people in the physical world, as I realize that when they communicate with me they're looking at this physical face which to them represents me.Alien such factoring as referent an exherant is. My his face an alloy ideal (with germane (how can be, save where carnal interactions are, anatomical face so?) some exherants) is.
I don't actually dislike it but I agree with Brun that having a body is... weird.
We're all big believers in here, aren't we, that the feelings of the recipient of a behavior are more important than the intent behind it. Right?Wrong. Any one's feeling, intent, is only hisself's. To only who has the intent, feeling is it important. To both the action's effects on their common reality are important.
"Sub-optimal" and "rude" are not synonymous.Rudity may be suboptimal.
The fact that harm was no caused does not mean that it is not potentially harm causing behaviour.
find it odd that anyone wouldn't immediately obey posted rules because they are posted rules
I not, as popular ideals, have whatever against authority; thereof sit I antiservilian: proffering authority unfound whomto oughtta've none---unsound.
need a number to text
I dunno. I still keep my real life shit and my online shit as separate as possible. Online is my refuge from real life. I don't want the people I am physically involved with tracking me down online, too, if I can help it.Wherefor multiple unlinkable own personæ may be; one's fleshbound presence may be, with each his other, linkless, enhanced (post) modern informatically. (About informatic techniques psychic associations preferred separate from fleshbound activity may be.)
A notion has person as the psyche, his body as all the by psyche controled; partly, his ``human'' body (where appropriate, more wholly, cybrid chassis) is of his (AKA extended) body---with property (lucid or illicit). (With such notion is measure: body fitness (to psyche); dysphoria bodine may be about low such fitness, may be about that body an other using. e.g. During loathed task, externity, continuent sensible, yond-dimensely farthens, whither directing, almost not participating. Beware intruders et alia.)I mean, I'm sorry, but WHAT? Is this actually intelligible to... anyone else? Am I missing some joke or other? "Wrongity" and "canidal", for one thing, aren't even words, and that's leaving quite aside the essential- and, one feels, very contrived- incomprehensibility of this whole post.
... Alien such factoring as referent an it's aspect, especially accidental, exherent, is. In my, his face an alloy ideal (with germane (how can so be, save where carnal interactions are, anatomical face?) some exherents) is.
...Rudity may be a suboptimality. Suboptimality is a wrongity.
... cautious libertarian explaining his nonleashing canidal
... Wherefor multiple unlinkable own personae may be; one's in-the-flesh presence may be, sans link with any his others, enhanced by (post) modern informatics. (About informatic techniques psychic associations preferred separate from in-the-flesh activity may be.)
[snip]
Asking for them number of someone you just met, especially one you have barely interacted with (like this instance) is rude and presumptuous.
Just mho.
[snip]It's awkward if the two of you haven't 'hit it off' and she didn't enjoy herself during the time she interacted.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not one to try to exchange phone numbers in these kinds of situations, but I have to ask. Is giving your number to someone really less likely to cause awkwardness than asking for theirs? I would have thought that handing your phone number over could also be awkward.
[snip]