Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: snubnose on 24 Aug 2020, 07:13

Title: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 24 Aug 2020, 07:13
So it turns out that Marigold would like to own a Naginata.  :-D

https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4336

What weapon would you like to own, if any ?

Personally I kind of fancy having a classic mediveal longsword to hang to the wall. I just like the symmetry and the symbolism.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: JoeCovenant on 24 Aug 2020, 07:21
I already own quite a few:

Replica 'Wallace' Broadsword.
Katana replicas from Highlander and The Last Samurai.
Replica Longsword from Excalibur.
French sabre (genuine antique)
Mass produced 'prop level' basket swords (unedged)

As well as a healthy haul of high Q latex weapons for 'Viking' LARP.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: BenRG on 24 Aug 2020, 07:25
Frankly, I am hard-pressed not to fillet my hand with a cheese-knife. I know it would be fundamentally suicidal to trust myself with anything more specifically designed to cause harm.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: hedgie on 24 Aug 2020, 08:26
Orbital death ray, assuming that it had a computer capable of finding any target(s) on the planet.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Thrillho on 24 Aug 2020, 09:25
A Death Note.

No, uh, I would rather not have any weapons, cheers, even as ornaments. It took cracking this thread open to actually settle on my position there.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: LTK on 24 Aug 2020, 10:38
I followed an archery course as a kid, but a proper bow was far too expensive to purchase at the time, so I'd really like to have one of those. Particularly, this guy's "instant legolas" model (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy_bJQaD3Uc).
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: zisraelsen on 24 Aug 2020, 11:05
Are guns acceptable answers? Because I'd love to own a  Remington rolling block. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remington_Rolling_Block_rifle) beautiful gun, and the mechanism is so elegantly simple.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Gnabberwocky on 24 Aug 2020, 19:26
A set of throwing knives or a tomahawk, both fun to throw at a stump in the backyard.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 25 Aug 2020, 01:00
Frankly, I am hard-pressed not to fillet my hand with a cheese-knife. I know it would be fundamentally suicidal to trust myself with anything more specifically designed to cause harm.
Well yeah thats why I only want to decorate the wall with it.

Are guns acceptable answers? Because I'd love to own a  Remington rolling block. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remington_Rolling_Block_rifle) beautiful gun, and the mechanism is so elegantly simple.
I would say compared to an orbital death ray a gun sounds pretty harmless.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Cornelius on 25 Aug 2020, 07:01
I have a couple of rapiers and sabres, and a crusader style replica. A baskethilt prop, as well, though that's really too heavy handle much. A LOTR replica as well. I also have a morning star flail somewhere, but I don't really like it.

I used to have a nice die cast filigreed decorative halberd, but it broke. Anyone any thoughts on how to repair zamac?

Frankly, I am hard-pressed not to fillet my hand with a cheese-knife. I know it would be fundamentally suicidal to trust myself with anything more specifically designed to cause harm.
In all fairness, most cheese knives I've seen people use, are downright dangerous, with their lack of cutting edge. The sharper your knife, the less power you need to exert on it, the less chance you have of glancing off, and hitting something you don't want. I'm a firm believer of proper edges on your tools.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: cybersmurf on 26 Aug 2020, 20:45
Katana, but IIRC that's japanese for just "sword". But yes, a samurai sword. Doesn't need an edge. Maybe a wazikashi (I hope I got that right), which is the same but as knife.

And a Mauser Modell 98. Because I love the aesthetic.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 27 Aug 2020, 05:09
Oh the katana is in no way the japanese word for "sword" at all.

Quite on the contrary this was a very, very specific kind of sword, and the primary sword of the japanese warrior class, the Samurai.

If you even wear the edge downward instead of upward, the japanese already use a different word for that. If the curvature of the blade is too strong, different word.

And the Wakizashi isnt a knife. Its a onehanded sword, the secondary sword of the Samurai, for close quarters and for ritual suicide. Its also seen as the sign of the honor of the Samurai; Samurai who had no master would be called Ronin and not own a Wakizashi.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: BenRG on 27 Aug 2020, 06:32
Related question: I've seen animé in which a character uses a wakizashi as a parrying blade, dual-wielded with a katana. Did anyone ever actually do that or is it just fight designers trying to crowbar oriental weapon styles in with occidental fencing styles?
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Akima on 27 Aug 2020, 08:03
I'm not expert on Japanese swordsmanship but definitely dual wielding was a thing. The style is called Niten Ichi-ryū (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niten_Ichi-ry%C5%AB) (二天一流).
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: N.N. Marf on 27 Aug 2020, 10:38
A '64 Chevy Malibu.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: pwhodges on 27 Aug 2020, 22:45
A '64 Chevy Malibu.

That does not fall under the definition of a weapon - unless, of course, you plan to drive into a crowd of protesters, as some right-wing extremists have done over the past few years.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 27 Aug 2020, 20:09
Heinlein defined a weapon as "a device for the manipulation of matter or energy".
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Gnabberwocky on 27 Aug 2020, 20:43
Heinlein defined a weapon as "a device for the manipulation of matter or energy".

...Isn't that pretty much everything? Or, does he mean something specifically designed for that task?
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: pwhodges on 28 Aug 2020, 01:13
The OED's prime definition is: "An instrument used or intended to cause bodily harm"; secondary: "A means of gaining an advantage in a conflict".
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 28 Aug 2020, 05:58
Why, my definition of weapon would be "tool specifically designed for combat", and for the purpose of this thread of course also decorative variants of such tools.

Thus no, stones for example wouldnt count, even if yes you can certainly use them for combat. Neither do cars.

Also not regular axes, as opposed to battle axes. The difference between the two is quite big, by the way, because battle axes have very thin blades and can cut much deeper. They would get stuck and would be hard to remove if you try to hack wood with them, though.

Likewise a regular hammer has a much shorter hilt, in order to have control over where the hammer hits, while a warhammer will favor range and impact energy and will probably also have a spike as an alternative to the blund head on the other side.

Of course all logic flies out of the window once we discuss fantasy weapons, since they typically look nothing like the actual weapon, which however would also be valid choices for this thread, because they are also decorative versions of actual weapons.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Tova on 28 Aug 2020, 22:51
Heinlein defined a weapon as "a device for the manipulation of matter or energy".

Yeah, he also said that, “an armed society is a polite society.” So, I'd be careful about attempting to divine great insight into his quotes. He wrote some good novels, though, I guess.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Akima on 28 Aug 2020, 23:16
I would say that improvised weapons, like carpenters' claw-hammers, for example (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTrJa197dSk) (The Raid 2, warning NSFW-bloody), are still certainly weapons. Many pre-gunpowder weapons were based on agricultural implements like billhooks. I would argue that any object becomes a weapon once it is wielded with intent to cause injury. Purpose-made weapons have the intent to do harm built into their very creation, which is why making or trading in them is not Right Livelihood for a Buddhist.

Yeah, he also said that, “an armed society is a polite society.”
People who quote that unironically, I believe, think only in terms of other people being polite to them, not any obligation on them to be polite to others. But my opinion of Heinlein has never really recovered from reading his short-story "We Also Walk Dogs".
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Cornelius on 28 Aug 2020, 23:23
I would argue that any object becomes a weapon once it is wielded with intent to cause injury.
Over here, any object wielded with intent to cause injury not only becomes de jure a weapon, but a forbidden weapon.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 08 Sep 2020, 02:51
I would say that improvised weapons, like carpenters' claw-hammers, for example (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTrJa197dSk) (The Raid 2, warning NSFW-bloody), are still certainly weapons.
Why yes sure improvised weapons are weapons, but for the purpose of this thread, I was asking for actual weapons you'd like to own, not improvised ones.

Likewise a car is obviously a very deadly weapon, but its not what the thing has been designed for, and its not usually the reason why people want a car.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: snubnose on 07 Oct 2020, 02:30
Swords swords swords !!!  :-D

https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4368

Swords !!!!!

Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 15 Oct 2020, 12:29
If it doesn't have to be a real one, the Kelvan paralyzer is humane and effective.

I might go for a phaser for the sheer versatility. Heating rocks could come in handy on a camping trip, for example.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Gyrre on 18 Nov 2020, 21:47
While naginatas are cool, I'd go with either a guandao or a European pole-sword over a naginata.

I'd also go for a bardiche, demi-lune, monk's spade, billhook, ranseur, or partisan as my polearm of choice. I've fought using a straight up plastic paddle (the kind used in food manufacturing) and it was a pretty good fit for me.

Getting more up close, I'd like one of those heater shields with the bladed point and a bearded axe. I'm not really a sword guy combat-wise.

It'd be neat to own one of the outlandish gun-[weapon] combos. I'd go for either one of the rifle-battleaxes or a dagger-pistol.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Gnabberwocky on 18 Nov 2020, 22:24
I'd like two of some kind of sparring staff, like one of those two-handed wooden ones that show up in fantasy novels sometimes. Handy to defend myself if needed and fun to practice-fight with someone else (with minimal injury risk).
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Gyrre on 27 Nov 2020, 04:43
I'd like two of some kind of sparring staff, like one of those two-handed wooden ones that show up in fantasy novels sometimes. Handy to defend myself if needed and fun to practice-fight with someone else (with minimal injury risk).

I'll recommend fire-hardened oak or bamboo. Bambo can flex when you strike, and fire-hardened oak is a lot sturdier than other wooden bo staffs. I may or may not know this from breaking lesser quarterstaffs while working out some frustrations on the back patio.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Wingy on 27 Nov 2020, 06:51
I already own "shovels and rakes and implements of destruction" (a reciprocating saw and a hammer drill among them), and an occasionally sharp way with words, so I'm full up on weapons.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: sitnspin on 05 Dec 2020, 10:31
Kukri are both weapons and tools, by design.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Wingy on 05 Dec 2020, 13:54
After thinking about this some more, I want a phaser.  It can even be permanently set on stun.  I also want it internet enabled so I could zap certain nitwits via the web, but I could live without that.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: BenRG on 05 Dec 2020, 14:12
A chrome-and-bronze 'Elemental Nature' double-ended lightsaber from Jedi: Fallen Order. Very beautiful design from the Respawn Games art team; the sort of thing that would do nicely as a conversation piece as well as a way of acknowledging my inner geek.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Wingy on 11 Dec 2020, 14:59
But does your rake double as a war rake.
Uh, no.  But I won't be picking up the garbage in the snow with it either.  It would be best used as a stepped-on booby trap in a war situation.
Title: Re: Weapon you'd like to own ?
Post by: Dock Braun on 11 Dec 2020, 21:42
Ah, that type of war-rake.