Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

Fun Stuff => MAKE => Topic started by: keyoung on 21 Apr 2005, 19:19

Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: keyoung on 21 Apr 2005, 19:19
(Edit) Previously badly titled: Criticize me
(Ya'll are a bunch of literal grammer freaks!  And I love you because of it.)

My first (and last) attempt at creating something even vaguely comic related:

"Image

(Plot/text courtesy of Mr. Joseph Heller)
I have so much respect for people who churn out a comic every day, I know I could never do it.
When I did this (several years ago) I don't think I'd ever read a comic outside of those in the daily newspaper.  So my question is (to those of you folks with lots of canonical comic knowledge) what did I do wrong?  I know there must be tons of things.  The handwriting, I know, is pretty godawful.  As are those fingers in the top right corner.  And the second panel.  (Well, I seem to be doing a fairly decent job of criticizing it myself, don't I?)
Anyway, I'm just looking for some criticism from folks with more knowledge in the area than myself.
(If anyone's interested -- I used gouache and sharpie).
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: torg on 22 Apr 2005, 02:44
hmm you should change that sepia-like tone to pure white .... and yes... you perhaps should letter it on the computer. ;)
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: ASturge on 23 Apr 2005, 09:32
erm....ok......
YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: keyoung on 24 Apr 2005, 13:02
torg: The sepia tone's due to my bad photography.  The original is on white illustration board.  And I think I'll try photoshoping in some new text to see how much it helps.  Thanks.

ASturge: Muh?
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: thehoopiestfrood on 24 Apr 2005, 14:29
You asked him to criticise you so he did...
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: keyoung on 24 Apr 2005, 15:01
HAHA! I get it!
(boy am I slow)
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: Kjammer on 24 Apr 2005, 18:58
You want me to criticise you or your little comic there?
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: keyoung on 24 Apr 2005, 19:45
The latter.  
(I am currently attempting to figure out if there is a way to amend my badly titled thread).
Title: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
Post by: Hatebunny on 05 May 2005, 22:56
Well, I can't provide any criticism beyond what's already been said.
The style reminds me of 60s comics...like the kind in those  'Ripley's believe it or not' booklets. The plot is cool, though from what I read there, it seems like that's not your work. The drawing style is pretty professional looking though. I'd just have to agree that the sepia tones be turned to white, and that the text be neater...It was a bit ahrd to read, possibly because it was a small scan/compression.

Try some more!