My name is Bologai Stewards. I am dead due to a tragic misunderstanding. How did my life get twisted upside down? Well it all started a few weeks back... I had just parked in the lot of Habbo Hotel. A few days before I had booked a room, as I had to stay in the city for a business conference. I walked into the lobby, and was met by the eyes of everyone. I don't think I'm very ugly, or odd looking. I'm a 6'2" black man, and at the time of the event, I was wearing a suit and an afro, but for some reason, this got everybody's attention. I walked up to the counter and said to the clerk "I have a reserved room under Bologai Stewards." She stared at me for a moment, and then asked "Is this some kind of joke?" "No joke, ma'am. On Monday I booked a room for myself under Bologai Stewards. I should be in the records." She paused, and then turned to her computer and began typing. I glanced at the screen as she stopped. Sure enough, my name was on there. She turned back to me, "May I see some ID?" I gave her every form of identification I had on me, and she still seemed suspicious of me. I thought nothing of it, identity theft must've been common in the area. At last she called a guard to direct me to my room. Now THAT's service!
After I arrived in my room, I looked at my watch. There wasn't a lot of traffic on the way into the city, so I had arrived several hours earlier than the meeting was scheduled. I thought it would be a good idea to go up to the rooftop to relax in the pool. The rooftop was a lively place, which made it hard to navigate through the crowds. As I crawled through the crowds, I noticed an official looking man approaching the pool. He tipped his sunglasses down to get a better view of things, and then removed a small vial from his pocket. He held the vial over the pool, and then popped the lid off, pouring a red liquid into the pool. Now, I've swimmed in pools before, and I've seen chlorine. That was NOT chlorine that man was putting in the pool. It was the same red liquid my wife died of a few years earlier. AIDs. "THE POOL HAS AIDS!" I screamed as I began running after the man. He quickly noticed me and vanished into the frantic crowds. "EVERYONE OUT OF THE POOL! THE POOL HAS AIDS!" In minutes, security guards had grabbed me and escorted me to my room, where more hotel workers awaited me. A businessman put down his comb and turned to me, "Why did you put the AIDs in the pool, Mr.Stewards?" I shook my head. "Lawd no! I didn't put that AIDs in the pool! But I saw who did!" The businessmen whispered to each other, and then turned back to me. "Describe this man, please, Mr.Stewards." I let it all out. "He was a tall man, a little bit shorter than me. He had spiky blonde hair and sunglasses. He was wearing a blue suit that kind of looked like mine, but with no tie. He was wearing navy pants and shiny black shoes with no laces!" A smug voice boomed from behind me. "Someone like me?"
I turned around. It was him. The man that tried to kill the people in the pool."THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE MAN THAT PUT THE AIDS IN THE POOL!!" The businessmen and security guards stared at me, and then shook their heads. "Mr.Stewards, the man you just accused of putting AIDs in the pool is the OWNER of Habbo Hotel." I froze. This was not possible. "Why would he try to kill his own paying customers? We do not take kindly to such rude and baseless accusations here at Habbo Hotel, sir, and I am going to have to ask you to leave!" I turned back to the owner, still bearing that sickening smug grin. He calmly turned to his acquaintances and said "Relax, gentlemen. He's just a stupid nigger." That was it. I had lost all control. I charged at the man and began hitting him with all of my strength. The guards struggled to pull me off of him, but finally managed to tackle me to the floor. The owner crawled back up and wiped the blood from his lip. "Habbo Hotel does not stand for accusations or attacks against it's staff. Guards, remove him immediately." The guards dragged me out of my room and into the elevator. They had fun kicking me in the stomach in there. After we arrived in the lobby, they dragged me out and tossed me in the gutter unconscious. I awoke some time later, in what appeared to be a hospital. I looked at the beds around me, but only one was occupied. The poor sap was in a full body cast. I crawled out of bed and looked around. It seemed a bit odd for a hospital to have so many beds lined up next to each other with nothing dividing them. I opened the door, and saw a mirror image behind it. The mirror image spoke. "You okay, nigra?"
I fell back in shock, as I realized that it was not a mirror, but a man dressed exactly like me. He walked into the room, followed by two other exact replicas of myself. They looked down at me as I froze in shock. Who were these people? Why were they all dressed like me? Was I dead? Had I gone insane? Before I could begin to answer the questions, two of them helped me up. "The head Fro wants to see you." They helped me out of the room and down a hallway, and then left me in front of a door, wishing me good luck. I opened the door and walked in, to be greeted by ANOTHER afroed man in a suit! "You don't look familiar. Are you a new recruit?" I stared in confusion. New recruit to what? He read my confusion and moved on, "Do you know who did this to you?" I explained everything to him, from when I first entered the building to when I got thrown out. He nodded the whole time, not interrupting me at all. After I had finished, he paused for a moment, and then stood up. "Pool's closed due to AIDs."I shook my head and explained that while the pool did have AIDs, it wasn't closed. He shook his head and pulled a gun out of a drawer on his desk. "It is now." Alarms began wailing all around the building, and hundreds of clones stormed through the halls. I stood in amazement, marveling their coordination, speed and teamwork. I had temporarily forgotten how confused I was, until one of them tossed a machine gun at me saying "YO HOMES TO BEL AIR!" Before I could question it, I was pushed outside by the raging crowd, moving like a school of fish. There were numerous vans outside, all with their backs open, and men began crawling into them chanting "PARTY VAN PARTY VAN PARTY VAN" in a strangely eager voice. One of the men from earlier grabbed me by the tie and pulled me into the van he was in. He spun his gun like a flag chanting with pride and joy, just like everyone else. The doors closed shut behind us, and then I heard the engine revving. Where were we going? Why did I have a gun? Why are we in these vans? Why are they chanting? Why is everyone so damn happy?
A few minutes later (after nearly suffering a heart attack from the drivers reckless speeding) the door opened again, and my questions were sadly answered. I was back in front of Habbo Hotel, only now it was being charged at by hundreds of fuzzy headed men with machine guns screaming "POOL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS!" Not knowing what to do, I followed the others and, almost by instinct, began shouting "POOL'S CLOSED" along with them. I entered the lobby to find it extremely different than what I had witnessed a few hours earlier. The once calm and peaceful square was now populated with these men, attacking and shooting everyone who wasn't with them. As I turned around I saw a man with a golf club preparing to swing at me. I didn't know wut to do, but in the panic, my finger slipped down on the trigger and fired. The man fell dead to the floor, but I did not have time to feel bad for what I had done. I heard sirens and, collectively, all of us realized the cops had arrived. The fros began running up stairs and into elevators, and not wanting to be banned, I followed. I didn't have to think this time about where they were heading.
The elevator door began to open. Through the light I could see people talking and swimming in the pool. The pool. The pool must be closed. Pool's closed due to AIDs. Before the door had finished opening, I squeezed through and began shooting. "POOL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS!" People began screaming in fear and running away. The owner (who I presumed had just finished delivering another dose of AIDs to the now closed pool) quickly fled. The other brothers could close the hotel, I had more important things to shoot. I ran back down to the lobby, which I had just remembered was full of cops. I must've forgotten about it. That's probably because that information wasn't important. "HOTEL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS! EVERYBODY FUCKIN' OUT!" I made short work of the cops, and the fros they were holding thanked me with a shake of the head and a bob of the fro, and ran upstairs to join the others. I leaped over the counter and noticed someone moving on the floor. It was the clerk who waited on me earlier today. I crouched down and stared at her. She tried to talk, but I already knew she was trying to ask for help. I held her hand and said "I'm going to help you. I want you to hold this and never let go. Do you understand?" She nodded. I pulled a grenade out of my pocket and handed it to her. I pulled the pin out, smiled, and said "YO HOMES SMELL YOU LATER!"
I entered the employees only area. I didn't bother to close the door, as it was going to be destroyed in a few seconds anyway. I looked around the room, and quickly noticed an opened door. I walked into it, and a bullet flew by my ear. I looked down to see one of the businessmen from before hiding behind an overturned desk pointing a gun at me. I stared at him, and lifted my gun up to face him. He began sweating as he held his fingers over the trigger. I lowered my gun and backed out of the room. "Leave the hotel now and you will be spared." He crawled out from behind his desk and inched toward the door, not lifting his fingers from the trigger of his gun. As soon as he was out of the door, he turned and ran out to the lobby. The grenade went off. I searched the entire floor and had no luck finding the owner. I went out of the hotel and sat on the back of one of the vans. He had gotten away. "Bobba that.." As soon as the words left my mouth, the car began rumbling. The brothers surely wouldn't be leaving this soon! I opened the front of the trunk and saw the owner of Habbo Hotel at the wheel. I opened my mouth to gasp, but then stopped. He hadn't noticed me yet. I closed the door and sat, silently following him in the van. The car stopped a few moments later, and I got out of the van to find myself in front of a familiar cabin. It was the place that I woke up in! The Fro HQ! What was he doing here? He answered my question by pulling out a container of kerosene and a flamethrower.
It was my time to shine, as I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Eat my shittingdicknipples." I swung at him, and he jumped back. He smiled as he pulled a handgun from his pocket. "You cannot get AIDs from a virtual swim." "Like hell you can't, bobba." I reached into my pocket, only to realize I had left all of my weapons back at the Hotel. He read my expression and his grin grew wider. "Looks like you're gonna get permabanned." I smirked, "O rly?" He laughed, as if I had just told a joke. "Ya rly" he grinned, as he pulled the trigger. The bullet hit my chest, and blood wet my suit. I fell to the ground. His laughing ceased as I crawled back to my feet. I held my chest and smiled at him, "I'mma chargin mah lazors." He screamed in fear and began shooting wildly. An instant before a stray bullet collided with the kerosene can, time seemed to stop. "I'mma firin' mah lazors."
Luckily the fros had prepared for such an attack, so only a small portion of their building was destroyed, along with the owner of Habbo Hotel and myself. I opened my eyes to see a castle floating in white nothingness. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
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Topic: A POINTLESS THREAD ABOUT POINTLESS CRAP!(possibly NWS) (Read 748429 times)