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Author Topic: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER  (Read 845420 times)

redglasscurls

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1200 on: 11 Jun 2008, 13:50 »

From Joe's site- "Once in awhile, Baker says, she’ll get a patient who just wants to give a present to her husband. “One patient of mine gave it to her husband as an anniversary gift," says Baker. "She was not a virgin when they got married so we re-attached her hymen to reproduce that experience.”"

what
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Denn Du Bist, Was Du Isst   (you are what you eat)
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RedLion

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1201 on: 11 Jun 2008, 14:35 »

That's fucked up.

Is it pansy-ish to drink Mikes Hard Lemonade? It's not like that's the only thing I drink, but it tastes good, so I do have a couple sometimes. Certain people tend to give me hell for it, though, calling it a girl's drink.

Thoughts?
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muffy

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1202 on: 11 Jun 2008, 14:56 »

Seconded.  Drunk sex is only fun if you don't mind missing the important part.
Hmmm.
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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1203 on: 11 Jun 2008, 15:28 »

Where do you find this shit Joe?

My Fiancee doesn't put out, so I have to find other avenues to keep myself entertained.
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Storm Rider

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1204 on: 11 Jun 2008, 17:28 »

Man, don't go down that road. The absolute last thing I want to hear ever is Joe talking about the details of his sex life.
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morca007

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1205 on: 11 Jun 2008, 17:36 »

Is it pansy-ish to drink Mikes Hard Lemonade? It's not like that's the only thing I drink, but it tastes good, so I do have a couple sometimes. Certain people tend to give me hell for it, though, calling it a girl's drink.

Thoughts?
Yes. Yes it is.
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redglasscurls

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1206 on: 12 Jun 2008, 07:09 »

It kind of is. You should just learn how to make a few decent mixed drinks that you enjoy.
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KickThatBathProf

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1207 on: 12 Jun 2008, 08:05 »

Agreed.  Some of those 2-ingredient ones (i.e. Screwdriver, Jack & Coke) are tasty, simple to make, and less pansy-ish
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Patrick

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1208 on: 12 Jun 2008, 10:51 »

Man, don't go down that road. The absolute last thing I want to hear ever is Joe talking about the details of his sex life.

Why not? Do you not enjoy a good and hearty laugh?

Wait fuck I just know I'm setting myself up for something here
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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1209 on: 12 Jun 2008, 10:53 »

...

Nah. Too easy. I take the cheap laugh often enough.
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Patrick

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1210 on: 12 Jun 2008, 11:50 »

Your mom's too easy, and fuck you I don't fucking fuck cattle
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RedLion

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1211 on: 12 Jun 2008, 13:00 »

Patrick, you have terrible luck with pagebreaks.
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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1212 on: 12 Jun 2008, 13:23 »

WHY WON'T YOU DIE

* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g                                               g 
o /     \             \            /    \       o
a|       |             \          |      |      a
t|       `.             |         |       :     t
s`        |             |        \|       |     s
e \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    e
x  \      \/   _--~~          ~--__| \     |    x 
*   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    *
g    \_     \        _.--------.______\|   |    g
o      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__>  \   |    o
a       \   .  C ___)  ______ (_(____>  |  /    a
t       /\ |   C ____)/      \ (_____>  |_/     t
s      / /\|   C_____)       |  (___>   /  \    s
e     |   (   _C_____)\______/  // _/ /     \   e
x     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  x
*    | \    \____)   `----   --'             |  *
g    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | g
o   |              /    |     |  \            | o
a   |             |    /       \  \           | a
t   |          / /    |         |  \           |t
s   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |s
e  |           /        |    |       |         |e
x  |          |         |    |       |         |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
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onewheelwizzard

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1213 on: 12 Jun 2008, 13:33 »

Whoa.





(stoned)
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ZJGent

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1214 on: 15 Jun 2008, 18:35 »

WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND FELL OFF THE WAGON


THIS GUY


FELL OFF THE WAGON WITH A MOTHERLICKING BUMP, SUCKERS AND HOMEDOGS. FO SHIZZLE. SWIZZLE SWIZZLE. RAZZLE DAZZLE.
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ackblom12

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1215 on: 21 Jun 2008, 22:18 »

I am drunk, but I did not throw up in the car like Jason.

Also, drunken unexpected karaoke is quite amusing.
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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1216 on: 27 Jun 2008, 21:01 »

Dearest unsober thread,

I'm sorry QC, my eye hath wandered.

Tonight, i met up with another community. she didn't mean anything to me, i promise. it was just a one time thing and i'm sorry. i had a few drinks and played some laser tag and teenage mutant ninja turtles and one thing led to another and now all i have left is my shame and the promise of a hangover.

I swear i'll get tested for forum aids tomorrow, baby.
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redglasscurls

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1217 on: 04 Jul 2008, 19:33 »

Sober thread, i am shrooming pretty freaking hard right now. the webbrowser kinda hurts my eyes a lot though and I keep having to correct typos so I'm going to sleep i think.
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Denn Du Bist, Was Du Isst   (you are what you eat)
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Social Bacon

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1218 on: 04 Jul 2008, 20:31 »

I am high as balls. That is all.
I'm shrooming monday, will report back with my findings.
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ZJGent

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1219 on: 04 Jul 2008, 21:56 »

god damn don't you hate it when you live in a drugs-free household. which means that when you go home after the house party you bought drugs for fizzles out three hours early, you have to do your entire stash by yourself pre-homing.

actually this is not so bad.

wired like electrics.
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morca007

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1220 on: 05 Jul 2008, 03:18 »

Who's crossfaded?

This guy.
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Plasticity

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1221 on: 05 Jul 2008, 12:54 »

Who's crossfaded?

This guy.

I haven't heard this term in years.
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Verergoca

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1222 on: 05 Jul 2008, 17:49 »

Blah, Y'all are silly lightweights! Ble happy you are still able to from sensibalible sentences out of your slurred spleach, and inane rabmblings!

Kids these days.... Now, back when i started this thread.... *canewalk*
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StreetSpirit

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1223 on: 05 Jul 2008, 18:09 »

Go go team party! Everyone better enjoy some Maker's Mark with a lovely sidearm of PBR - oh and you may want to add a biggity bong hit into the mix as well for ultimate bliss. Rock ya socks off.
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RedLion

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1224 on: 06 Jul 2008, 14:40 »

I've not posted here in nearly two weeks because I've been in (and remain in) Europe. I'm currently in Marseilles. But let me just say that I drank four bottles of French wine the other night in Cannes. It was a fun night.
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Drill King

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1225 on: 08 Jul 2008, 22:46 »

ffffffffffff spiced rum
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Ballard

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1226 on: 08 Jul 2008, 22:48 »

Presidente's pretty good.

That is all.
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celticgeek

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1227 on: 08 Jul 2008, 22:50 »

Well, I am sitting here drinking Laphroaig and listening to Alex Beaton, and Brian McNeill, among others.  I am enjoying myself immensely. 
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Ozymandias

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1228 on: 08 Jul 2008, 23:26 »

It has been too long since my last inebriation.

As soon as I am paid, that will be gin and scotch night.
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StreetSpirit

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1229 on: 09 Jul 2008, 01:43 »

So I decided to visit my parents for this early half of the week in Bum-fuck, Indiana. They just built a new bar here that fits the standard of sports bar with horrendous choices of tap beer (ie. ONLY COORS LIGHT!) but they happened to be having a Tuesday night special that didn't really suck: a six bottle bucket of New Castle for $12.00. Way to slightly recover from poor taste, Bumsville, Indiana, even it is isn't "interspectacular, fantabulous." Drink enough so your walk home is an interesting geometric equation.

Seriously though, "BODY MASSAGE MACHINE. GO!"
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morca007

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1230 on: 09 Jul 2008, 01:52 »

Widmer Hefeweizen aint very good.
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Social Bacon

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1231 on: 09 Jul 2008, 11:52 »


Aye aye Captain!
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johnny5

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1232 on: 09 Jul 2008, 11:56 »

if you take a whiskey sour and sub in OJ instead of lemon juice (or mix it with the lemon juice), does it become another drink? or am i just the weirdo that drinks whiskey orange sours?
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imapiratearg

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1233 on: 09 Jul 2008, 11:59 »

They just built a new bar here that fits the standard of sports bar with horrendous choices of tap beer (ie. ONLY COORS LIGHT!)

Man, I don't think there's much of anything wrong with Coor's.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1234 on: 09 Jul 2008, 12:08 »

you mean besides the fact that it's pretty much foamy water?
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Social Bacon

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1235 on: 09 Jul 2008, 14:57 »

Orange juice and whiskey? You have go to be shitting me, that would be awful.

Coors Light is good when it's really really cold and you've been working really hard.
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sean

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1236 on: 09 Jul 2008, 17:41 »

They just built a new bar here that fits the standard of sports bar with horrendous choices of tap beer (ie. ONLY COORS LIGHT!)

Man, I don't think there's much of anything wrong with Coor's.

You said recently you drank for the first time the other day, right?

Try some good shit then get back to us.
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Ozymandias

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1237 on: 09 Jul 2008, 21:05 »

That stuff and its ilk are basically the reason the rest of the world assumes all of our beer is shit, since the majority of what's sold is...shit.

Shitty shitty shit shit shit that's basically only suitable for cooking, if that.
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Ballard

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1238 on: 09 Jul 2008, 22:49 »

Big mistake. When you cook with alcohol, the ethanol evaporates and the flavors concentrate. Hence, if you cook with shitty alcohol, you're gonna get a load of concentrated shitty flavors in your dish.

Never cook with any alcohol you wouldn't drink. This goes double for wine.
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himynameisjulien

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1239 on: 10 Jul 2008, 00:21 »

Oh no guys! A reefer fiend!

The Assassin of Youth!



Interesting fact- did you know Shakespeare invented the word Assassin? It comes from the word hash, because Arabic assassins used to smoke a bunch of reefer before they killed someone.

SKOOLED
He also invented the word "bump"
I just realized that to people who think I'm kidding this is going to seem like a bump.
It's not, I swear, Shakespeare actually invented it (the word "bump").
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Ozymandias

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1240 on: 10 Jul 2008, 02:17 »

Big mistake. When you cook with alcohol, the ethanol evaporates and the flavors concentrate. Hence, if you cook with shitty alcohol, you're gonna get a load of concentrated shitty flavors in your dish.

Never cook with any alcohol you wouldn't drink. This goes double for wine.

The ethanol evaporates, but only marginally faster than water would. Unless you're reducing it to a sauce, the quality of your wine (or beer, in this case) will have little to no effect on your cooking. Rather, the qualities you're actually looking for from cooking alcohol are the ability to extract the alcohol-soluble flavors from what you're cooking and possibly changing the pH of your liquid. Besides, when you're talking about a crappy American beer, 75% of the problem is the weakness of the flavor, not the flavor itself. Whatever concentration of the flavor there is would actually help the darn thing during the cooking process

ADDENDUM:

Interesting fact- did you know Shakespeare invented the word Assassin? It comes from the word hash, because Arabic assassins used to smoke a bunch of reefer before they killed someone.

Once the conventional wisdom, but lately refuted, seeing as there's actually no evidence that the Hashshashins ever used marijuana beyond the supposed etymology of the word.

Which, seriously, can you imagine getting ridiculously high and then deftly sneaking up to someone and murdering the fuck out of them? Has this ever happened before?
« Last Edit: 10 Jul 2008, 02:25 by Ozymandias »
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You are 9/11.
You are the terrorist.

morca007

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1241 on: 10 Jul 2008, 02:28 »

They just built a new bar here that fits the standard of sports bar with horrendous choices of tap beer (ie. ONLY COORS LIGHT!)

Man, I don't think there's much of anything wrong with Coor's.
Look at you. Look at how wrong you are.
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Plasticity

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1242 on: 10 Jul 2008, 03:19 »

Dude, coors is delicioius.
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jhocking

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1243 on: 10 Jul 2008, 05:22 »

johnny5

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1244 on: 10 Jul 2008, 07:16 »

Orange juice and whiskey? You have go to be shitting me, that would be awful.

Coors Light is good when it's really really cold and you've been working really hard.

Yeah i thought it was weird too...I don't know, it tastes okay to me, i like it more than the lemon.
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Social Bacon

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1245 on: 10 Jul 2008, 15:53 »

Once the conventional wisdom, but lately refuted, seeing as there's actually no evidence that the Hashshashins ever used marijuana beyond the supposed etymology of the word.

Which, seriously, can you imagine getting ridiculously high and then deftly sneaking up to someone and murdering the fuck out of them? Has this ever happened before?

Depends how high you are, if you've smoked yourself retarded then you're not going to be able to do anything; but I've found that when I'm just moderately high I can push myself harder and focus better. I often go biking high because I can't feel the burn in my legs as much, it lets me go harder and longer and get a great workout. Also, doing any kind of work with small parts that requires a lot of patience and concentration is much easier.


On the note of Coors (vaguely): American beer is generally like having sex in a canoe. Fucking close to water. It's not awful, just weak.
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StreetSpirit

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1246 on: 10 Jul 2008, 17:30 »

The generalization of American beers should be changed to Corporate American beers, because there are a plethora of small breweries scattered throughout all of the United States that produce damn fine beers.
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"Think you've seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me... nothing will ever be the same again!"
-The 10th Doctor (doctor who)

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1247 on: 10 Jul 2008, 17:52 »

Wasn't the story with the assassins that the leader of the sect, known as the Old Man of the Mountains (he has some arabic name I can't remember) drugged his recruits with hash and fed them sherbet and virgins to make them think they were in paradise?

Then the next day they were all "Damn, not in paradise any more, maybe if I follow this nutbar zealot I'll get into paradise. Better kill me some crusaders." I don't remember anyone saying they got high and killed people.

Anyway, I think the current consensus is this story is bullshit, as you say.
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With cake ownership set to C and cake consumption set to K, then C + K = 0.  So indeed as one consumes a cake, one simultaneously deprives oneself of cake ownership. 

morca007

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1248 on: 10 Jul 2008, 18:16 »

The generalization of American beers should be changed to Corporate American beers, because there are a plethora of small breweries scattered throughout all of the United States that produce damn fine beers.
This. Most American Macros suck, but we have tons of awesome micros.
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celticgeek

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Re: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER
« Reply #1249 on: 10 Jul 2008, 22:15 »

I have discovered an additional pronunciation for the word "whisky".  That pronunciation is "Talisker".  However, the preferred pronunciation is still "Laphroaig".

And I am listening to some killer old time country while sipping said Talisker. 
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