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Author Topic: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol  (Read 25489 times)

est

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Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:12 »

Quote from: gabbly
est: should i drink some tasty vodkas to dull my sunburn pain
est: is that an acceptable use of good vodka?
emilio: yes
est: ok
Cernunnos: yes it is a suitable use of vodka
emilio: there are very few nonsuitable uses
Cernunnos: what are they?
emilio: hmm
substitute for breast milk
est: unsuitable
emilio: yeah

guys, what are some other unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol?
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Mnementh

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #1 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:15 »

sexual lubricant, in the literal sense.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #2 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:17 »

Surprisingly, rum is a bad choice for cleaning contact lenses. I figured the alcohol would be good for eliminating buildup on the surface, but I failed to consider the effect it would have on my eyes.

Cartilage Head

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #3 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:19 »

 Child's cough medicine.
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est

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #4 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:20 »

vodka is an uncommonly bad substitute for blood plasma
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Mnementh

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #5 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:24 »

motor oil.
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est

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #6 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:30 »

sports drink
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Spinless

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #7 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:31 »

A drink for your goldfish.
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Cernunnos

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #8 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:34 »

Baby food.
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Mnementh

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #9 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:35 »

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Cartilage Head

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #10 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:40 »

 Enema.
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Lines

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #11 on: 14 Jan 2007, 08:52 »

nasal spray.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #12 on: 14 Jan 2007, 09:03 »

Breakfast.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #13 on: 14 Jan 2007, 09:04 »

Contents of a fire extinguisher.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #14 on: 14 Jan 2007, 09:49 »

 Douche.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #15 on: 14 Jan 2007, 09:56 »

breaking over someones head
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #16 on: 14 Jan 2007, 09:59 »

i'd say that one's debatable....

shampoo... i've discovered it just doesn't have the desired effect.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #17 on: 14 Jan 2007, 10:09 »

Contents of a fire extinguisher.
This one is my favorite answer thus far. I'm imagining this scene:

man: Holy shit! The stove caught fire. Quick, gimme the fire extinguisher!
*spray*
man: wtf, that just made the fire bigger. What is in this thing anyway?
*sniff*
man: Is that... tequila?!?

Entilzah

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #18 on: 14 Jan 2007, 10:50 »

Breakfast.

I have to disagree with this.

Nothing is better for breakfast
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #19 on: 14 Jan 2007, 10:59 »

Breakfast.
Actually, that is a very suitable use of alcohol, assuming you want to forget the night before.

Child's cough medicine.
Brandy in tea works wonders. :-P  Sorry, this is (arguably) suitable.

Here's an unsuitable use:

Dry cleaning agent
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #20 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:06 »

um...getting yourslef inebriated

as a barometer
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KaraFairie

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #21 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:11 »

sniffing... Nothing is better than petrol.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #22 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:15 »

Quote from: Kris Kristofferson
The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had another for dessert.

Bourbon would make a pretty crappy lotion. I'd be all sticky.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #23 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:23 »

Soap.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #24 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:31 »

Toilet water.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #25 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:40 »

Hey if I could afford whiskey for toilet water, you bet I would do it.

Not so much for drink, just, you know, whiskey toilet water! I mean, come on.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #26 on: 14 Jan 2007, 11:47 »

Brown water though? I used to have kinda-brown water since it was well water and seriously... gross! Besides, that would make backsplash that much less enjoyable! You'd think it'd have potential to burn or something.
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What about orgasmic chemistry.

I can expand the definition of that if anyone wants to roll around to my Fortress of Love.

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #27 on: 14 Jan 2007, 12:12 »

i guess you'd figure out the effects of a dog drunk.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #28 on: 14 Jan 2007, 12:16 »

I.V. fluid.
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Where I come from, we usually just shorten that to "yee-haw!"

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #29 on: 14 Jan 2007, 12:23 »

It is totally unsuitable to substitute bourbon into your brownie batter.
No, wait, that's an excellent idea.

As for the toilet, you know when you have those really big poops and sometimes it splashes up? Yeah. No good at all.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #30 on: 14 Jan 2007, 12:51 »

man: Holy shit! The stove caught fire. Quick, gimme the fire extinguisher!
*spray*
man: wtf, that just made the fire bigger. What is in this thing anyway?
*sniff*
man: Is that... tequila?!?

In my mental version, the *spray* bit is followed by a terrible noise, then a terrible silence.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #31 on: 14 Jan 2007, 13:37 »

vodka makes a pretty bad substitute for hamster pellets.
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keakaha

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #32 on: 14 Jan 2007, 14:37 »

Breakfast.

I have to disagree with this.

Nothing is better for breakfast

Besides, you do know where milk comes from, right?

Totally unsuitable: Putting in any kind of fruity colourful cocktail. Not happening.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #33 on: 14 Jan 2007, 15:53 »

Gin is a bad, awful nasal spray decongestant.
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Grawsith

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #34 on: 14 Jan 2007, 15:54 »

paint thinner, degreaser, bubble bath, milk for your cereal, prescription medication.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #35 on: 14 Jan 2007, 16:24 »

Best friend.

I need to work on that.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #36 on: 14 Jan 2007, 16:29 »

Winner.

But still the thread must go on.

Rum should not be involved in soldering, ever again.
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Schmitt

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #37 on: 14 Jan 2007, 17:13 »

Building material, just doesn't work as well as water when mixed with cement mix.
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mqarcus

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #38 on: 14 Jan 2007, 17:23 »

I guess alcohol is suitable for almost everything, or wait, no. Almost. Guh.

Maybe not for contact lenses, stings like hell.
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KaraFairie

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #39 on: 14 Jan 2007, 17:32 »

prescription medication.

Tis quite good as prescription medicine. (just don't tell your doctor ;))




edit: I do not recommend people use alcohol to fix problems. IT IS A BAD IDEA!!!
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the tree

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #40 on: 14 Jan 2007, 18:37 »

Deodorant, keyboard cleaner, drain cleaner, electricity.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #41 on: 14 Jan 2007, 19:24 »

i'd say that one's debatable....

shampoo... i've discovered it just doesn't have the desired effect.

beer is supposed to be good fo your hair, actually.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #42 on: 14 Jan 2007, 19:52 »

Floor covering, not as soft as some carpets.

A means through which information is sent and received like the internet, just can't get the same download speeds.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #43 on: 14 Jan 2007, 20:21 »

It would be unsuitable to use Tennants lager as a drink.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #44 on: 14 Jan 2007, 23:10 »

Breakfast.

I have to disagree with this.

Nothing is better for breakfast

Nah, beer is the breakfast food. Guiness and Froot Loops FTW.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #45 on: 14 Jan 2007, 23:16 »

Elected officials.

Alcohol on its own seems to know very little about economics or foreign policy.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #46 on: 14 Jan 2007, 23:19 »

Personally if Ethanol stood for office I would vote for it.
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Tyler

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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #47 on: 14 Jan 2007, 23:37 »

Please, refrain from exercising your right to vote always.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #48 on: 15 Jan 2007, 00:13 »

What like ethanol is a worse vote than the monster raving looney party.
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Re: Unsuitable uses for your favourite alcohol
« Reply #49 on: 15 Jan 2007, 00:15 »

Bourbon would make a pretty crappy lotion. I'd be all sticky.

Also, completely irresistible.
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