Topic: plans for the inevitable undead uprising (Read 161204 times)

Patrick · « **Reply #150 on:** 06 Nov 2007, 18:16 »

Shit I forgot Timothy Leary died

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #151 on:** 06 Nov 2007, 18:33 »

Man, I wish that kind of acid worked against zombies.

CardinalFang · « **Reply #152 on:** 07 Nov 2007, 04:31 »

The solution is to convince congress to re-start the FVZA.
The time is now!

bryanthelion · « **Reply #153 on:** 07 Nov 2007, 05:30 »

Quote from: Barfy on 06 Nov 2007, 13:32

Well, I'm sure Thatwittygeek knows all about radiation. Lets just hope his mother compensated by the government for the nuclear testing in her uterus. During her pregnancy. With him.

All that did was make me able to shoot deathrays out of my fingertips!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #154 on:** 07 Nov 2007, 10:25 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 06 Nov 2007, 18:33

Man, I wish that kind of acid worked against zombies.

This is the start of a really, really awesome film script.

Patrick · « **Reply #155 on:** 07 Nov 2007, 11:35 »

I got dibs on 15% of all royalties for making that Timothy Leary quip.

Bearer · « **Reply #156 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 14:35 »

Hey, I know there's been a lot of flak against baseball bats, but my friend mentioned something interesting about it and it got me thiking. What if you got a metal baseball bat and filled the tip or even the whole thing (though this would compromise speed) with concrete or something to make it more solid?

öde · « **Reply #157 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 14:46 »

Way too heavy. Think about it, you're going to be lugging it around, fighting off hoardes of zombies, and running away with it? I'd just go for some solid metal bar, dense enough to mash up zombies but small and light enough to carry around practically.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #158 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 14:58 »

crowbar

or as some people (europeans maybe? dunno) might know it: prybar

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #159 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:14 »

Well, you wouldn't want to hit them with the stabby end; it would defnitely get stuck. You use the blunt part to bludgeon their soft, zombie heads.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #160 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:17 »

A straight up length of lead piping or a ball hammer would probably be better than a crowbar, because of the sticking issue.

The problem with baseball bats is not so much the weight, but rather that it simply doesn't concentrate the force of the blow in a small enough area. Basic physics people. The smaller the area force is applied to, the greater the force. Blows with baseball bats, if they do break the skull, are probably going to cause hairline fractures, but injuries that might knock a human unconscious, or cause them to die from cerebral haemorraghing aren't going to do shit to a zombie. It's very doubtful that a zombie CAN haemorraghe. No, you need to shatter their skull like a fucking soft boiled egg, and preferably slosh around a liberal quantity of brains to boot.

the-artful-dodger-rodger · « **Reply #161 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:28 »

me and my friends prepare for this every so often, by role-playing like d&d. we call it the the Zombie Contingency Plan, what would do if the zombie oubreak happen, so far it has all worked out.

Patrick · « **Reply #162 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:31 »

I've heard of security companies doing such things and calling them 'react drills'. Basically, fake bad shit goes down and people volunteer to be the 'bad guy' and all the security people are the good guys. Bonus points 'cause they don't know it's a drill until the very last minute.

öde · « **Reply #163 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:35 »

It's probably best to aim for the base of the skull/neck and fuck up the cerebral cortex/spinal cord. Less resistance, more chance of getting them down in one.

jhocking · « **Reply #164 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 15:47 »

It's hard to aim for the neck unless you are behind them, in which case you should be running, not attacking.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #165 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 18:21 »

plus if you do somehow manage to break their neck/damage their spin then they could still bite passersby from the ground. it'd rather just destroy the brain. JUST TO BE SURE.

either that, or just parkour my way to safety like i mentioned earlier. i'm not much of a fighter so i think that's my best bet, anways.

edit: Master Plan, everyone. this applies to biological zombies only (the only kind of zombie i'm worried about). okay, we find a way to set off some sort of low-frequency soundwave bomb (or something) with sufficient enough force to destroy the ear drums of anyone within a certain radius. we set this bitch off in whatever city we happen to be trying to escape from (wearing earplugs, of course) then when night falls we all don night-vision goggles and casually stroll out of the city, escaping harm forever.

reasons this will work:
1) zombies(biological) do not have special powers i.e. night vision, super smell, super hearing, ESP
2) they are dead! their eardrums will NEVER grow back.

they won't stand a chance. you can thank me when we are all not zombies.

Scrambled Egg Machine · « **Reply #166 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 18:33 »

I have a SHTF bag for this sort of circumstance(riots, zombies, dems winning an election, etc), so I would pack it, and go out into the rockies for a while.

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #167 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 20:08 »

A baseball bat may not be the best choice to kill a zombie, but its merits in escaping I think are being underplayed here. You need to knock the zombie out of the way to get away, you don't necessarily need to kill it. Just incapacitate it for a few moments to make your break, and you can continue to do this for quite a while thanks to that handy ergonomic design.

And if you're in a situation when there's only a couple zombies, you can beat them repeatedly at your leisure anyway, so the one-hit kill isn't all that important.

jodizzle · « **Reply #168 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 21:15 »

Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine on 08 Nov 2007, 18:21

edit: Master Plan, everyone. this applies to biological zombies only (the only kind of zombie i'm worried about). okay, we find a way to set off some sort of low-frequency soundwave bomb (or something) with sufficient enough force to destroy the ear drums of anyone within a certain radius. we set this bitch off in whatever city we happen to be trying to escape from (wearing earplugs, of course) then when night falls we all don night-vision goggles and casually stroll out of the city, escaping harm forever.

reasons this will work:
1) zombies(biological) do not have special powers i.e. night vision, super smell, super hearing, ESP
2) they are dead! their eardrums will NEVER grow back.

they won't stand a chance. you can thank me when we are all not zombies.

I don't know, even if the zombies don't have super smell, they still have smell in general. To smell out delicious fresh meat. Meaning you.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #169 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 22:48 »

Well given that they only have an average sense of smell, who here can smell a live person, or indeed fresh, raw meat from a distance of more than about 5 feet?

jodizzle · « **Reply #170 on:** 08 Nov 2007, 22:52 »

I am pretty convinced that zombies are like dogs, and can smell a fresh meal easily. Not super smell, animal instinct smell.

Someone agree with me

Patrick · « **Reply #171 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 03:19 »

Quote from: JimmytheSquid on 08 Nov 2007, 22:48

Well given that they only have an average sense of smell, who here can smell a live person, or indeed fresh, raw meat from a distance of more than about 5 feet?

The person? Depends how sweaty they are from fighting off a bunch of zombies. Fresh, raw meat? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm Masculine As Fuck (tm), but yeah I can totally smell it from 5 feet away.

bryanthelion · « **Reply #172 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 05:30 »

Couldnt we enslave them so we could have them build our missle base?

StMonkey · « **Reply #173 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 05:39 »

If we could enslave them, why would we need a missile base? We have a zombie army.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #174 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 05:59 »

Well, we'd need somewhere to keep it.

öde · « **Reply #175 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 06:29 »

"What the hell's in there?"
"Uh... Nuthin'"

Patrick · « **Reply #176 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 06:51 »

Why don't we just buy that missile site that was up for sale in that one thread? We can evade the zombies there.

Spinless · « **Reply #177 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 07:10 »

Zombies are too slow and stupid to be a threat if you keep your eyes open. They lack the capacity to open doors too. Romero was wrong, zombies will NOT get smarter over time.
Basically, stay indoors, you'll be fine.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #178 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 08:28 »

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #179 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 08:34 »

the last three pages of that article are missing, and I'd have to see the haitian zombie thing to believe it.

Johnny C · « **Reply #180 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 09:00 »

It's Cracked.

jhocking · « **Reply #181 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 09:57 »

Quote from: öde on 09 Nov 2007, 06:29

"What the hell's in there?"
"Uh... Nuthin'"

hee hee, you forgot the shifty eyes.

Patrick · « **Reply #182 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 10:15 »

Quote from: Anyways on 09 Nov 2007, 07:26

Until they claw the door down or you run out of food.

Haha dude you haven't seen the third floor of my house have you.

That "Real-life zombies" thing sounds just the tiniest bit far-fetcHAHAHA LOCK THESE GUYS UP IN AN ASYLUM

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #183 on:** 09 Nov 2007, 11:48 »

Quote from: ebony_willow on 08 Nov 2007, 22:52

I am pretty convinced that zombies are like dogs, and can smell a fresh meal easily. Not super smell, animal instinct smell.

Someone agree with me

nope. smells are particles in the air that we can smell because the mucus in our nose breaks them down for absorbtion into our olfactory epitheleum(sp?). after death we will stop producing these fluids and dry out; ending our ability to smell anything at all.

and even IF zombies somehow did continue to produce this mucus, our noses only have a limited amount space to absorb smells through. which means we can never aquire a better sense of smell. i can't smell another person unless they are about two feet away so.....neither can a zombie.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #184 on:** 12 Nov 2007, 19:21 »

The Archaeological Institute of America investigates the evidence for zombies in ancient Egypt.

(also known as: archaeologists are really funny and cool)

ummmkay · « **Reply #185 on:** 12 Nov 2007, 19:39 »

Daniel Jackson? What?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #186 on:** 13 Nov 2007, 17:32 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 12 Nov 2007, 19:21

The Archaeological Institute of America investigates the evidence for zombies in ancient Egypt.

This is beautiful.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #187 on:** 13 Nov 2007, 23:42 »

I am so sending that link to my best friend who lives in Egypt.

calenlass · « **Reply #188 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 13:45 »

Update: When it happens, everyone who can should come to the QC Rendevous Point in the Florida Keys, specifically Key West.

Also don't forget to bring your pets if you can, and/or any livestock you happen across, because after the zombies run out of people to maul they will go after anything with blood or brains in it and if zombie-ism doesn't affect them then they are just going to have chunks bitten out of them and bleed to death and it will be sad and horrible.

Also horses would be good to grab, because without people running oil wells and processing plants we will run out of petrol eventually. Plus the undead won't be so concentrated in the rural areas, so stopping by a few farms wouldn't hurt I don't think.

Johnny C · « **Reply #189 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 15:08 »

How ironic.

Dissy · « **Reply #190 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 15:11 »

Katie, you have creates a Zombie thread!

I just finished reading the entire topic.

My plans for the inevitable Zombie uprising. I'm getting on top of my house with my BFG( a rifle that I can add a scope to) and shoot all incoming Zombies. Bonus points when the bullet goes through a series of Zombies. Any Fast-movers will have to climb 2-stories to get me, and even then, I'll have my pistol, close range head shot.

öde · « **Reply #191 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 15:13 »

And then you will run out of ammo and if you forget to save the last bullet for yourself you'll be torn apart by zombies.

Dissy · « **Reply #192 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 15:22 »

I never run out of bullets. I'm Ash!

Hunter · « **Reply #193 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 16:12 »

Sorry, we don't watch Pokemon.

Patrick · « **Reply #194 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 18:52 »

Guys I recently discovered that the Albanian navy still has like 8 nuclear-powered submarines just -laying around- after the Cold War, and I know exactly where they are (permanently sealed and submerged at a sub pen down south near Corfu). My plan is STILL IN PLAY. Just meet me on Corfu and we will have to play the rest by ear.

I suggest you bring diving equipment, underwater welding gear, a production welder for internal repairs, and a radiation suit. Also schematics for a nuclear power reactor would be good.

Katie thanks for necroposting, otherwise this information wouldn't be available to the masses!

David_Dovey · « **Reply #195 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 18:56 »

I thought you said underwater wedding gear.

I thought, awwww old-fashioned underwater romance, repopulating the Earth in a morally responsible manner!

supersheep · « **Reply #196 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 18:59 »

How hard can it be to operate a nuclear reactor?

sean · « **Reply #197 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 19:02 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 31 Jan 2008, 18:56

I thought, awwww old-fashioned underwater romance, repopulating the Earth in a morally responsible manner!

Not with tommy around!

wait i am still new am i allowed to call tommy a slut?

Patrick · « **Reply #198 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 19:12 »

Just so long as you follow orders and shoot those really ugly smelly corpse-y things, you can do whatever the hell you want.

This doesn't mean Tommy won't light you on fire for it when he gets the chance.

sean · « **Reply #199 on:** 31 Jan 2008, 20:09 »

nooooooooooooooo
/

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: plans for the inevitable undead uprising (Read 161204 times)

Spinless