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[Boro_Bandito]

Zombies don't actually need sustenance, they're dead. The body only reacts to basic instincts for hunting food and sees all moving things as that target and will mimic the motions. You have to worry about how long the zombies will be able to survive as far as rotting goes, to where their muscles have fully deteriorate or they can no longer maintain connection between brain and body.

[est]

Oh also, I have to remember that I am in Australia.  It's pretty hard to get guns here, but you could probably get some if you knew where to look.  Unfortunately those places are normally gun shops in towns that would be full of the ravening undead, stored in locked cabinets.  There's also weapons shops in the city, but they are in the fucking city.   I live in a city suburb, so it'd be hard for me to escape unscathed.  It is a good 45mins drive to get out of the metropolitan area and into sparser, less dense suburbs, and that is without the streets being packed with undead/people trying to escape.  I would have two options: 1, hole up for a bit until the initial hubbub dies down, then make a break for it.  2, find a  motorbike and try my luck, perhaps with a couple of friends.

Unfortunately for me I can't really think of a single good place near me to hole up in the event of zombie outbreak.  My house is fairly zombie-proof, though.  At least in the short-term.  I have a high back fence with a metal door, so I doubt any zombies could come through my backyard.  If they did somehow get in to my backyard I have one large window that is covered in a metal grate, and an inaccessible small window.  I live in a terrace house, so I'm covered on either side by thick concrete walls and other houses.  The front of my house has a door and a window, both with metal grates.  In the event of zombie outbreak I could stock up on supplies and lay low, occasionally scanning radio frequencies for news reports.  I also have a "middle door" of sorts that leads to an enclosed courtyard.  If there was some sort of breach I could go out that door, up onto the terrace rooftops and try to find the least zombie-clogged area to jump down.

That isn't really a good plan, though.  If there was a 24hr warning period (as a lot of people seem to be saying, for some reason) I could perhaps procure a motorbike and head off.  The motorbike would make it easier to work my way through traffic, and if I got a trailbike I could even cut across yards/farms/etc once they appeared.  That plus a backpack of rations as well as some kind of weapons.  At present the usable weapons I have include a hammer, a baseball bat, a set of hardwood nunchuku and a huge prybar (unwieldy), which seems horribly underprepared.  I would definitely take the hammer and the bat, then forage along the way.

One problem with this idea is that I don't know where I would be heading, other than "the fuck out of the city".  Another is that I don't really have any "outdoors" skills, so once I got into the bush/country I would be pretty screwed.

[LordNagash]

@Boro_Bandito and Whipstitch
http://www.thearma.org/essays/thrusting_vs_cutting.html

From the article:
"The Romans, often cited as personifying the epitome of thrusting swordplay, actually stressed both cut and thrust with their wide-bladed gladius and eventually adopted the longer spatha, or cutting blade."

The axe in a sheild wall argument makes sense, though I think I would end up using my sword. Especially since I lack a group of people to sheild wall with.

As for other people, that is what I would really want a gun for. Preferably a simple rifle. Though the rockies are pretty close, so I would probably go there. Doubt I would meet many others.

[Boro_Bandito]

Roof-hopping is definitely preferable to traveling on the ground, you could see how far you could make it by terrace and create ways of getting off that zombies can't follow (see rope). Also, make a couple of sets of rope ladders to use to get down once your away from a large group of zombies considering they're just crowding around your house because they caught your scent. Also, might start wanting to read books on basic wilderness survival, things like how to survive flash floods, prevent heat stroke and harvesting water, all problems in the Australian bush. Books of edible plant life and insect life would also be good, because while eating bugs is nasty as all hell, if its between that and death you'd rather eat a bug that isn't going to kill you from poison.

[Patrick]

From the article:
"The Romans, often cited as personifying the epitome of thrusting swordplay, actually stressed both cut and thrust with their wide-bladed gladius and eventually adopted the longer spatha, or cutting blade."

The axe in a sheild wall argument makes sense, though I think I would end up using my sword.

You seem to miss the point behind using it in battle against zombies though. Zombies don't give a damn about a flesh wound, you can only kill them by destroying the brain. A sword ain't gonna be much use in cutting into a skull, there's just not enough momentum behind it. THAT'S what the point was.

Maybe you can try for a neck shot, but that'd involve a sideways swing, and you don't want to give them a chance to grab your arm when you pull back for a second hit. Even if you do slash at them while you're pulling back, your arm isn't going to be as fast as your initial swing. As for a forehead stab into the brain, well, it's possible, but it's a much more difficult shot unless you've had a lot of practice doing accurate stabs.

Axe vs. sword in zombie battle? No contest.

[Switchblade]

Disciplined men with single-shot rifles firing in well-trained ranks against an oncoming horde. The added difficulty of aiming for the head is compensated for the fact that the horde is moving a lot slower.

fun fact: According to a friend of mine, men instinctively aim for the center of mass, whereas women instinctively aim for the head. Therefore, I would want my platoon of British colonial soldiers to all be women. As well as making them more efficient, it also opens up the possibility of HOT END-OF-THE-WORLD MAKEOUTS.

also, is it wrong that I find the idea of an all-female version of Zulu extremely erotic?

[Nodaisho]

Switchblade actually made me laugh out loud. In the middle of the night. If I woke someone up, I blame you.

I wonder why the instinctive aiming thing is. I also wonder if someone that plays Counter-strike would be more likely to aim for the head. Note, I didn't say they would be able to hit the broad side of a barn, nor that you wouldn't be tempted to leave them for the zombies, but it would be interesting to see if someone that frequently played a game that emphasizes headshots is more likely to aim for the head than someone that doesn't game, or someone that plays games where headshots don't count.

Now that I have had time to actually think more, and not be caught up in argument mode (where I would argue that the sky is neon green, if I somehow managed to get myself into that position), I think that Khar's idea is decent, probably the best one in a crowded area, where you have to push through, but mine would probably be better in a less crowded, more wide-open area. Pat's friend would be invaluable, with his bow skills, and alaska sounds like a very good idea, if you can get the supplies to survive in the cold, especially if the zombies do shut down during winter, you just go out with whatever sharp object you have handy, and snicker-snack. Clear out a good sized area around you, allow you to stay in that place for longer. I still think that mountains would be a decent place too, really low population density, probably in part due to all the parks we have up there, so there would be more than the population density maps say, but still not nearly as many people as there are in this city. Hmm... Would putting blades on the sides of the truck be a good thing, or would it just take up too much space, making narrow roads tougher, and cause too much more drag when driving through zombies?

And Switchblade, which Monty Python bit is that from?

[Switchblade]

And Switchblade, which Monty Python bit is that from?

It's not. It's from a 1964 movie called "Zulu", which [historynerd]covered a historical battle at a place called Rorke's Drift, in which a single British Battalion held off a Zulu army of 4,000 and inflicted such heavy casualties that the Zulus withdrew. The Victoria Cross was awarded to seven different soldiers from that unit, the most that's ever been awarded for a single action.[/historynerd]

The Pythons did spoof it though. "A tiger? In Africa?".

[Nodaisho]

Oh, okay, I thought that looked like John Cleese, so I assumed Monty Python. I guess it isn't him though, now that I look closer. I did see the meaning of life spoof though.

[blanktom]

has anyone mentioned homemade explosives?

i've made myself some pretty good dynamite and napalm before. i'd just get myself a couple of barrels of petroleum and a good supply of the other essentials, hole myself up and get a production line going. and by 'hole myself up' i mean I Am Legend style hole myself up. my house is big enough to do this.

zombies dont have siege weapons and shit. so i'd just wait for a good build up of them and incinerate them with some home-made napalm or give them a petrol bomb or two.

also, this thread has turned into a cock-size comparison.

[Patrick]

There's no discussion necessary. My cock is the second biggest, with only Chuck in the lead.

[Alex C]

I blame myself for bringing the gun talk back again. Mentioning weapons is always the quickest way to get people to whip out the e-penis.

[a pack of wolves]

This thread makes me sad about how utterly fucked I'll be when the zombies arrive. I live near to the city centre in one of the most densely populated areas of Western Europe in the third biggest city in the UK. I don't own a car or motorbike or even know how to operate either. The best weapon in my flat is a hammer. I have zero wilderness skills. So basically I have little chance of escaping the city and I'd most likely die even if I did get out anyway. Nevertheless, I should formulate a plan and not go quietly into that zombie night.

The flat itself would be reasonably secure against zombies. Their only means of access would be to get over a 7ft wall and then break the door down, so in the very short term I'd be alright. But given the large population around here they'd end up congregating eventually and swell over the wall so staying put is definitely not an option. In my case I reckon banding together with other people gives me the best chance. I might not know shit about survival but I do know people who could survive in the wilderness, so finding them and heading as far north as possible would be sensible. For transport I'd go for my bicycle when in the city and then use somebody's van to actually get out of it, loaded up with supplies. For weapons just whatever objects closest to an axe possible, but other things are more important. If you don't know how to use them they'll probably just make you overconfident and make you not run the fuck away like you should. Then go for the Scottish highlands or possibly one of the islands if a suitable vessel can be located, find a farm or something that could be used as such and hole up. Being a constant nomad sounds nice but something will eventually go wrong and you'll be buggered, particularly if you're on your own. You've got to sleep sometime. Heading for the coldest, most sparsely populated areas and staying put with good defenses seems the best option for long-term survival.

[0bsessions]

If this thread is degenerating into a metaphorical cock size contest, consider me the Chuck of this thread. Everyone here except Phil and maybe Khar is going to get fucking eaten. Half of you will be shooting each other to prove whose gun is best, the other forty-nine percent will be hacking zombies' arms off while they get devoured and then we have Patrick...who will literally spend the zombie apocalypse trying to find a tape measure with which he can measure his dick to prove a point.

[Patrick]

If I have to fistfight my way through zombies to get to a Home Depot to do it then so be it.

[öde]

So are we assuming zombies develop pack-like hunting skills or do they retain some communication abilities? If it's neither I think I'm pretty ok here. Also I have had plenty of experience of surviving shambling mobs of unintelligent wrecks with limited motor skill.

[Alex C]

Wait, why would I be eaten again? Why is holing up somewhere with a shotgun or rifle instead of a pistol and a light off-road capable truck instead of a motorcycle a deathwish? Is it because the truck could potentially be loaded up with life-saving supplies so my entire plan doesn't hinge around "Gee, when I get to the area where I plan on waiting out the zombie apocalypse, I hope there isn't any zombies already around; I don't really have enough gas to go anywhere else."

[0bsessions]

Dan will be okay as well. Not because of any survival skill, but because the UK is so fucking lame that the zombies won't even bother with it. They may not have any form of rationale or intellect, but the things have some base instinct.

[öde]

HRRG! UARGAURR! HRR AOR GHF!



*sigh*

*clk-pshhffff*
*sip*

If we're not talking supernatural zombies, I'll be good to go in a month when they're all dead(er).

[Patrick]

There actually is a greater benefit to running, in my opinion. For example, since there aren't going to be any utilities since all the workers are going to be either zombies, eaten, or running/hiding themselves, there isn't going to be any clean, fresh, running water. You kindof need clean, running water if you're holed up somewhere. You could get a distiller, but how are you going to heat it for long? Propane? If you're really well holed up, you're probably not going to have ventilation that's good enough to have propane burning indoors.

If you're running and finding temporary hole-up spots along the way, you can -find- clean and fresh water. Reason number 6 why I'm going to Sitka: there is clean, fresh water all over that island. Lots of precipitation + geothermal heating makes for a lot of fog and mist, sure, but at least you don't have to light a fire to get unfrozen water.

[0bsessions]

The thing is, zombies aren't going to chase you constantly for twelve hours. As is well established, it's not going to be hard to outrun a zombie when traveling light. The general plan for being on the run, is to use high ground for sleeping. Remember, I never said I planned to live on the road indefinitely and your plan for heading for the mountain is no more foolproof than my plan for the Southeast as you've still got to travel to get there. Unless you're living somewhere you can hole up and see yourself surviving for a few years, somewhere capable of growing and sustaining future supplies, you're going to have to travel at some sort.

My basic plan outline is travel in the short term, settle in the long term in an ideal area. I'd be looking mostly Florida area as far as permanently settling, as the hurricane season would probably do a good job of clearing out a lot of the zombies and it'd probably be at least a year before I could journey all the way down anyway.

[0bsessions]

Read it. Learn it. Practice it.

Beyond that, it should be common sense. A predator that acts on instinct will always go for the easier meal, without exception. At a decent jog, you're going to put a mile or so between yourself and any zombie that is chasing you inside of an hour. A zombie is not going to be able to track you from there. They're dead people walking, they won't have enhanced spider senses or the ability to track your scent like a dog all of a sudden.

I'm half tempted to post my last picture from the Quiki forum to show you just how seriously I take my zombie preparation.

[Patrick]

Now that you've mentioned it though, weather is definitely a major consideration that has only been touched on in terms of "Oh will I be too hot in all of this clothing?" There is a lot more to it than that.

I definitely like your idea that Florida's hurricane season will clear zombies out while you are conveniently holed up in a well-fortified, hurricane proof structure. I'm assuming that the zombifying virus doesn't cross species boundaries and can only be transferred human-to-human. When the wind or flooding eventually washes them out to sea, their carcass bodies will hopefully be eaten by sea creatures, but since it's human-to-human transfer only, you can still fish for your food.

I, for one, am hoping that the winter freezes the zombies' feet to the ground due to their slow walking pace. Of course, they'll not feel it/care and keep trucking, but in the process they'll probably lose their mobility-capable appendages in the process, depending on the degree of rottenness and/or how well stuck they are when they keep powering through.

Of course, they could get stuck and then completely frozen, and when the weather warms up they'd just thaw out and reanimate. One bonus to them being completely frozen, though, is that you can go up after a certain amount of time, allowing them to become frozen before you do anything. Then you just walk up with your baseball bat (wood axe on your belt, just in case) and make with the brain destruction in a few fell swoops (assuming they aren't already frozen to the point of shattering from that kind of hit).

[0bsessions]

Also of note, the humidity and intense heat will likely cause any lingering biters to decompose at a quicker pace. I'm not even concerned so much with the hurricane season legitimately wiping them out so much as at least spreading them out and making it a bit easier of a journey. There are also significantly more military bases and prisons in the south, both of which are ideal positions for holing up.

[a pack of wolves]

On the subject of cold climate survival, a few people have mentioned the difficulty of doing this without electricity. Although it's true that the power plants will be down and relying on petrol generators is a bad idea there's always renewables. I know people who own and know how to rig up wind turbines, solar panels and the like, if I can get them and myself into a cold climate then we can still heat a building. Of course, this isn't too likely for me since as I've already said I'm basically going to be boned within about an hour of this kicking off, but it's worth thinking about for those of you with a greater survival chance. Solar panels would be a fucker to carry but if you knew what you were doing you could put together a wind turbine and hook it up to a car battery with scavenged materials.

[Johnny C]

I wasn't aware the ZSG was real-life canon.

[jhocking]

Real life canon? Dude, we're talking about zombies.

[Patrick]

Also of note, the humidity and intense heat will likely cause any lingering biters to decompose at a quicker pace.

Also also of note is that during hurricane season, even if it doesn't drive them out, the powerful wind and rain will certainly do wonders to erode away flesh and muscle, which will certainly make it harder for the bastards to move around.

Also Joe don't deny that it's a real threat. Denial will get us all killed. You don't want to be that guy, trust me.

[jhocking]

Aren't you the one who was making a big deal about competition for food? I should think your strategy here should be to encourage everyone else to underestimate the threat, thereby lessening your competition.

[Nodaisho]

Pat's point about the running water is a good one, which is another benefit of mountainous living, you are drinking snowmelt and glacial melt, less time for it to get polluted, and I would be somewhat worried about what would happen if I drank water that a zombie had been walking in.

Oh, and since Max Brooks is canon, everyone needs an MP3 player with The Trooper loaded on it, just in case.

[Patrick]

Aren't you the one who was making a big deal about competition for food? I should think your strategy here should be to encourage everyone else to underestimate the threat, thereby lessening your competition.

You're just saying that so I don't repopulate the world with my own offspring after the threat is gone.

[Boro_Bandito]

Well if you're moving from place to place and fresh water and utilities is going to be a problem then you get a wilderness grade water purifying kit, or make your own. Essentially its iodine. Get a good amount of that and possibly a portable basic filter and you could drink your own piss (which actually as long as you drink it fresh and before it has time to build up bacteria from outside sources you can anyway, its survival people not comfort city). There are various ways to preserve water and prevent heat stroke, and as long as you don't look at some of the stuff you may have to eat in the wild(unless you're a really good hunter/trapper, of which admittedly I'm not) you can make it through.

Edit: for some reason I didn't read the 9th page before posting this.

[calenlass]

Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be. I carry Swedish Fire Steel in my pocket, one-match fires are my game, I have been able to tell the difference between poisonous plants by sight if not by name since before I can remember, I can build fish hooks with some twine or weeds and sticks, I know how to track and trap game even if I have never hunted on my own before, and I am a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow. Lichen does not grow only on the north sides of trees; grubs you find under rocks are completely edible, I promise; pine smokes when you burn it, and will either create a smoke signal or coat whatever you are cooking over it in tar, or both; check flora growth for wind patterns on the sides of hills and mountains, because setting up camp in a wind tunnel is fucking miserable.

There is a crowbar in the trunk of my car and a hammer on my windowsill and, lucky for me, I tend to live off prepackaged food anyway, so I have a ton of it sitting around. 2 Nalgenes, a couple of packs of iodine tabs, some caribbiners, and my chacos, and I am pretty good to go.


Things I should probably acquire: a handgun of some sort for headshots, a hatchet, a new and not-broken swiss army knife, a decent hiking pack, a baseball bat
Things I want: the cat I left at my parents' house.
Things I could do without: my roommate's retarded cat,

[Ozymandias]

Can...

Can I go with Katie please?

[Nodaisho]

@Calen You have a crowbar? Gordenne Freeman?

Oh, where does the Giardia-causing bacteria come from? I am sure that in the olden days, people didn't constantly put up with needing to fertilize a tree every fifteen minutes, did they? Would drinking close to the source help?

Oh, and I changed a bit of my plan. Rather than going up into the Colorado mountains, go into the Wyoming mountains. 509k people in the state, which is less people than are in Denver county. uninhabited areas stretching hundreds of square miles. Seriously, the only places less inhabited would be Alaska, the dark side of the moon, and Kansas, in that order.

[Boro_Bandito]

Hell I could live in Kansas...

You know, I'm starting to like the idea of grouping up more and more. Still would prefer nomadic though...

[Patrick]

Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be.

You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens. With your survival skills and my knowledge of the wilderness/good places to loot, we would be unstoppable.

[Nodaisho]

Hell I could live in Kansas...

You know, I'm starting to like the idea of grouping up more and more. Still would prefer nomadic though...

Apparently there are actually a decent amount of people in Kansas, though this is from Wikipedia. Wyoming has one of the lowest populations in the country (47/50 of the states), Kansas has more (33/50), but it is a big state. I would just hate to live in someplace so constantly windy. Especially if zombies smell humans, that would probably cause more of them downwind to notice you.

Having a group of people is good, if you can trust them, because that way you can have people watching through the night, and when you have to move on short notice, you will likely be able to clear out faster.

[Dissy]

Bitches, deposit me on some mountaintop and we will see just how "fucked" I would be. I carry Swedish Fire Steel in my pocket, one-match fires are my game, I have been able to tell the difference between poisonous plants by sight if not by name since before I can remember, I can build fish hooks with some twine or weeds and sticks, I know how to track and trap game even if I have never hunted on my own before, and I am a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow. Lichen does not grow only on the north sides of trees; grubs you find under rocks are completely edible, I promise; pine smokes when you burn it, and will either create a smoke signal or coat whatever you are cooking over it in tar, or both; check flora growth for wind patterns on the sides of hills and mountains, because setting up camp in a wind tunnel is fucking miserable.

There is a crowbar in the trunk of my car and a hammer on my windowsill and, lucky for me, I tend to live off prepackaged food anyway, so I have a ton of it sitting around. 2 Nalgenes, a couple of packs of iodine tabs, some caribbiners, and my chacos, and I am pretty good to go.


Things I should probably acquire: a handgun of some sort for headshots, a hatchet, a new and not-broken swiss army knife, a decent hiking pack, a baseball bat
Things I want: the cat I left at my parents' house.
Things I could do without: my roommate's retarded cat,

Katie... marry me?

[OnewingedAngel]

My boss and I are already planning for the invasion. We are slowly stocking up canned food in the office and have determined the best way to knock down the stairs to the second floor. Also we will ask George Romero for advice when we go to Fangoria in April. *drool*

[Melodic]

Quite possibly the best place to stave off a zombie attack would be at the Greenbrier Hotel, or rather, beneath it. On my official post-zombie-apocalypse map, the Greenbrier is marked in fluorescent yellow and orange, and it's because it is sitting on top of the most secure bunker in North America. Part of Project Greek Island in the late '50s, the bunker itself is absolutely gigantic: it is 65 feet beneath the earth, and has enough room to support 1,000 people and all the equipment necessary to keep them alive for 60 days. (that's 60,000 days for a single person, ie. a lifetime).

It is the size of 2 football fields stacked on top of each other. and is protected by concrete walls 5 FEET thick. It even has its own hospital! It has air and water recycling facilities, and over 42,000 gallons of fuel to operate a gigantic generator that can power the entire facility for months. The only four entrances are protected by steel and concrete blast doors, including a larger door for trucks that weighs 40 tons. Best of all? It has its own in-house armory stocked with enough weapons and ammo to supply a small army.

When the zombies start coming, that is where I am going.

[calenlass]

Tonight, on the eleven o'clock news: Everyone finds out Katie is really Bear Grylls!

[calenlass]

Oh also dude you do not want to go to West Virginia. Trust me.




Actually, my prejudices aside, West Virginia might be a pretty decent place to go, given its total lack of anything ever.

[Trollstormur]

[RedLion]

You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens.

Well hey, I plan on holding up in Valdez. Extremely thin population, practically endless population of salmon and small mammals. Canoes are everywhere in that town; if needed I could make a quick escape across the Bay. Maybe we could eventually meet up!

[Storm Rider]

shopped comic

I don't get it. Is Faye engaging in Counterstrikery or something?

[Nodaisho]

I think he is just trolling, probably in response to the humor-related thread. Gotta love a forum where a mod trolls.

[est]

Guys, I was thinking about this last night and wonder what you think of a war hammer as a weapon choice.  Made with some kind of dense steel and with two heads instead of a striking head and a trailing spike, that way there's less chance you'll accidentally spike some zombie in the head and get it stuck.

Also, another thing I've very quickly learned from Dead Rising is that Jon is completely right about getting the fuck away from any zombies  you see, asap.  I know Dead Rising isn't the best thing to be basing decisions on, but some of this stands to reason.  For example, when I first started playing it it was fun to just kill all zombies in sight as I casually strolled toward my goal.  Then my shit eventually wore down and broke.  Then more zombies came.  Then I would spend more time looking for new weapons and supplies than I would getting to wherever it was I was headed.  I am very quickly learning that you should get to wherever the hell it is you want to go as quickly as possible and with a minimum of conflict.  (also: that chainsaws are actually not very useful, because they are heavy and easily-dropped)

Another thing that it's made me think about is that navigating through the beginning stages of zombie apocalypse will be a lot easier than getting through whatever thronging zombie hordes appear afterward.  At the start of the game the mall is slightly zombied, but it quickly gets very hard to run from one place to another due to zombies slowly pouring in through the front doors.  This is the thing to remember about hordes - they just keep coming.  The very best thing you can do is get the fuck away early and quickly.

[Boro_Bandito]

don't worry, there's a point where you get a couple of smaller chainsaws that can actually be put in your inventory. I won't say where or what awesome crazy boss you have to fight to get them, but they're awesome. have those and get a book that increases the life of construction equipment and it makes your life a hell of a lot easier.

[dr.sangaygupta]

You're coming to live with me in Sitka when this zombiepocalypse happens.

Well hey, I plan on holding up in Valdez. Extremely thin population, practically endless population of salmon and small mammals. Canoes are everywhere in that town; if needed I could make a quick escape across the Bay. Maybe we could eventually meet up!

If you read World War Z, this would make perfect sense. And also a weapon that doesn't need constant attention or ammunition/fuel.
IE: a shovel, maschete (SP?), 2x4's etc.

but I think y'all have that figured out already.