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Author Topic: Unsurprisingly, The Speed Racer Film Looks Garish And Terrifying  (Read 36566 times)

KvP

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Johnny did you never even watch Speed Racer as a kid?

I did. It was cheap, not cheap and hideous. Plus it was a fucking anime so it had an excuse for looking like that.
At least it wasn't Lupin. Or Dragonball Z.
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Ozymandias

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At least it wasn't Lupin. Or Dragonball Z.

I don't care if I quoted an above post, this is pretty much the worst thing I've ever read on the forums.

This entire thread is a monument to poor taste.
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Inlander

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By that interpretation, Speed Racer's dialogue would consist entirely of him yelling "VROOOOOOOOOOMMMM!" constantly.

No, the racing cars have to corner occasionally so it'd be more like "VROOOOOOOOOOMMMM! EEEEEEEEERRRRRUUUUUUWWWWWW vroom vroom vroom VROOOOOOOOOOMMMM!"
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KvP

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At least it wasn't Lupin. Or Dragonball Z.

I don't care if I quoted an above post, this is pretty much the worst thing I've ever read on the forums.

This entire thread is a monument to poor taste.
Hey now, I'm just talkin' bout the animation. As a kid I always hated Lupin's thick lines and poor transfers. I thought it was ugly. I didn't pay enough attention to tell if the show was any good, it just didn't look like the hyper-stylized beautyfests they'd air on Adult Swim.

And I don't see why I have to get behind the Wachowski's live-action Speed Racer because the TV show is such a sacred cow. I think it's reasonable to say that the visual style of the movie is indeed garish and ill-conceived.
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Johnny C

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I guess this thread has helped me figure out the mindset of people slavishly devoted to source material?
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This thread is pretty funny in places.
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Ozymandias

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I guess this thread has helped me figure out the mindset of people slavishly devoted to source material?

Actually, I was coming from the point that Speed Racer was pretty much shit to begin with and if you're going to make a Speed Racer movie, it should be about as shit.

If you're going to make it dark, serious, and any good, why make it Speed Racer?
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Storm Rider

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Quite frankly, I'm not interested in seeing this movie unless it's hilariously terrible.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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speed racer sucked. this movie is going to suck. they did it right.
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Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

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Quite frankly, I'm not interested in seeing this movie unless it's hilariously terrible.

Agreed.
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Liz

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I will probably just wait for it to hit the dollar theater and then I will go just to stare at Emile Hirsch the whole time.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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man, i wish washington wasn't the only state in the fucking country without dollar theatres. seems every state i go to has them and it's wonderful but for some strange reason it hasn't caught on in washington. i don't know why.
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Save your money and buy Death Race 2000, or something.

This is fantastic advice for almost any situation. Unfortunately I've never been able to find it anywhere.

Also I want Paul Gilbert to do the soundtrack for this.
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Liz

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man, i wish washington wasn't the only state in the fucking country without dollar theatres. seems every state i go to has them and it's wonderful but for some strange reason it hasn't caught on in washington. i don't know why.

They are pretty much my favorite things. Even though they upped the prices on the weekend to $2.50 per show, but that is still a really good deal. Hooray Fargo!
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TheFuriousWombat

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....dollar theaters? Jersey definitely doesn't have these unless they're hiding somewhere. We have something more like $9 theaters which is quite a bit worse (although sometimes weekday matinees are $4 or so).
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KvP

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I thought "Dollar Theater" was just an expression for "cheaper than average theater that gets movies for a time after they've departed from the multiplexes". We have $3 theaters here. The nice thing about ours is that occasionally they'll get movies that never appeared in our multiplexes, like Michael Clayton or Gone Baby Gone.
« Last Edit: 11 Dec 2007, 12:35 by Kid van Pervert »
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Scandanavian War Machine

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well, they aren't always a dollar but they are always cheap. i passed through utah on my way to arizona a while back and they were all $2. unfortunately, i was hanging out with my friend TJs mormon brother and he doesn't like action or swearing or magic or anything interesting at all so we had to see that 9-11 movie with nicolas cage (or whoever that was).

that said, it was an alright movie.
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Quote from: KvP
Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

Liz

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....dollar theaters? Jersey definitely doesn't have these unless they're hiding somewhere. We have something more like $9 theaters which is quite a bit worse (although sometimes weekday matinees are $4 or so).

That's one good thing about the midwest and smaller cities. Nightly shows at regular theaters are $7.75, matinees $5.75. Then there's the dollar theater for $2.50 and $1.75.

My sister and I are going to see Superbad tomorrow at the dollar theater.
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est

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Christina Ricci, i used to think you were hot. now...i just don't know.

allow me to help clear this up



carry on.
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Orbert

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Whoa, that's Christina these days? I believe the issue has been settled.
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RobbieOC

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....dollar theaters? Jersey definitely doesn't have these unless they're hiding somewhere. We have something more like $9 theaters which is quite a bit worse (although sometimes weekday matinees are $4 or so).

That's one good thing about the midwest and smaller cities. Nightly shows at regular theaters are $7.75, matinees $5.75. Then there's the dollar theater for $2.50 and $1.75.

My sister and I are going to see Superbad tomorrow at the dollar theater.

We have a theater that is $.75 on Tuesdays. I don't know why Tuesdays. Who cares? But it's a pretty crappy theater, so that's really all it would be worth any day of the week.

I think Speed Racer looks fun. There's a lot of dark movies out there right now, so this seems refreshing to me. I don't know much about the anime (since I don't really like anime), but it looks like they were just trying something new. I'm cool with that.
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Narr

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This entire thread can be summed up with
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_213QC8zAlM

If you didn't click the link the first time it was posted, do it now.

I have to agree.  If the movie isn't hilariously bad, I don't want to see it.
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Ozymandias

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Words will never explain the amount of sense that failed to make.

Oh man, part 2 is even better. Not only can little kids and monkeys do dangerous reconnaissance, but they must wear top hats and fake monocles to do so!

It's camouflage for the fact that they're on top of a barren snowy mountain, you see.
« Last Edit: 12 Dec 2007, 21:35 by Ozymandias »
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Johnny C

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See the cartoon was colourful anime but at least it was goofy and childish.

The movie is way too serious-looking.
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camelpimp

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But I don't trust them to be able to make a truly "wacky" movie out of this. If they did, it would be self-aware, and that's no good. The key is that the movie can't know it sucks.
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Ozymandias

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See the cartoon was colourful anime but at least it was goofy and childish.

The movie is way too serious-looking.

Man, I watched that entire frickin' thing.

It wanted to be serious so bad.

I loved when the Acrobatic Team stood on their cars, holding up torches in a blizzard, declaring they were getting their strength from the elements. It was so anime.
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Johnny C

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Were you ever eight years old?

I ask purely out of curiousity.
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CloudyObsession

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Across the Universe: Rocked
Speed Racer: Hilarious
Nickelodeon's Remade Speed Racer: enh...
Speed Racer Movie: Makes me want to cry for several reasons.
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Ozymandias

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Were you ever eight years old?

I ask purely out of curiousity.

Yes.

And I watched Batman when I was eight. My standards were high.

Speed Racer is terribly hilarious and the movie looks perfect.
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Nickelodeon's Remade Speed Racer: enh...

Oh thank god someone else remembers that, I thought it was a hallucination brought on by a bad trip
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Boro_Bandito

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It doesn't look as bad as Ultraviolet was, but that doesn't mean I'm going to bother with seeing it. Ever.
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Johnny C

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Speed Racer is terribly hilarious and the movie looks perfect.

I stand by my assertion of, "No movie needs to be this stupid or this ugly."
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CloudyObsession

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It was no hallucination.  I remember my first thought when seeing the commercials for Speed Racer on Nickelodeon was "God, are any kids actually going to know what this is?"

And it wasn't really all that good either.  It just cleaned up some of the dialog.
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Jackie Blue

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I don't know what you guys are talking about, this movie looks freaking awesome.

I'm sure some scenes will be awesomely bad, but the keyword here is awesome.
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  • "Tasteful"?

Also I want Paul Gilbert to do the soundtrack for this.

<3
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captain zoe

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Nickelodeon's Remade Speed Racer: enh...

Oh thank god someone else remembers that, I thought it was a hallucination brought on by a bad trip

Nickelodeon made a remake?  Oh dear lord.  I'm not disappointed I missed it. 

As for the movie....I'm really not sure how to react to that.  I saw the poster for it last week at the movie theater and went "Huh?"  Then, my second reaction was, "Why?"
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np96

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In ther UK we didn't get Speed racer, or at least I didn't get to see it. From the trailer it looks more like the wipeout game and Im really liking the trippy anime style. This movie will obviously be for kids so I don't expect much except stunning visuals.
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Since someone else brought it back from the dead I will say this:

This just in, there is actually a monkey in the movie.  Not a robot like in the new cartoon, or any work of CGI, an actual monkey.  Despite the fact that the movie will be terrible, at least there was a monkey in it.
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camelpimp

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You know what would blow my mind?

If this is a legitimately good movie.

I just don't know what I'd do with myself.
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You know what would blow my mind?

If this is a legitimately good movie.

I just don't know what I'd do with myself.

We're definitely in the same boat here.  Personally I've hated EVERY Wachowski brothers film EXCEPT for the orginal matrix.  Mind you I haven't seen Bound and I don't plan to.  I made the mistake of reading V for Vendetta and then seeing the movie.  The Invasion was boring and just...eugh.  In my mind they can make 3/4 of a good movie but then they completely destroy the ending and ruin the rest of the film.  Speed Racer looks bad, so heinously terrible that I won't be able to watch any of it.  Emile Hirsch just seems....wrong, incredibly wrong.  I know he was acclaimed for this role in Into the Wild but everytime I see him in the Speed Racer trailer he just comes off as a really bad B movie actor.
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Basically, if this isn't as terrible as the original Speed Racer was, I will be disappointed.
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Given that I didn't like the original cartoon, I may give the movie a pass.  But if I hear that it is a "so bad, it's good" movie, I'm in for the DVD.

Besides John Goodman can act, and Christina Ricci is hot.
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Ozymandias

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The Invasion was boring and just...eugh.

Nothing to do with the Wachowskis.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Christina Ricci is hot.

this is mostly why i am interested in this movie. also, pretty colors . . . i guess.
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Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

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Nothing to do with the Wachowskis.
apparently they wrote some of it
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Jackie Blue

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We're definitely in the same boat here.  Personally I've hated EVERY Wachowski brothers film EXCEPT for the orginal matrix.  Mind you I haven't seen Bound and I don't plan to.

For God's sake, why not?  It's really quite good.
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This movie just seems like a prolonged and unpleasant acid trip to me.

And an abomination of a cartoon that I watched incessantly as a child and get nostalgic over whenever I see it.
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Excellent!
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Ironically, that happened the first time too.
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