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Author Topic: Unsurprisingly, The Speed Racer Film Looks Garish And Terrifying  (Read 36560 times)

RedLion

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Guys, I....I actually saw this movie tonight. Mostly because a friend was going to it, who in turn has a cute friend that I'm into and want to get to know. But I was so distracted by the seizure-inducing barrage of flashing lights and mind-fuck visuals that I didn't even talk to her the whole night. I may actually see this again, but take LSD beforehand.

I can't decide if this is actually the worst movie I've ever seen, or if it's some elaborate post-modernist joke. If it's the latter, then it's absolutely genius. If not..I don't know. My mind really can't handle the repercussions of trying to take this thing seriously.

Among the mind-blowing quotes:

"I'll see YOU at MOUNT FUJI!"

"Oh boy. This isn't a race...it's a showdown!"

"Racing isn't about cars or the love of the sport or anything like that. It's about power! It's about money! It's about ABSOLUTE CONTROL!!"

I alternated between laughing hysterically and weeping.
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Ozymandias

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Everyone I've talked to who has seen this basically says it's amazingly amazing.
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Melodic

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Everyone you've talked to was probably high, as per the norm.
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And if you played too hard it'd flop out and dangle around by the wire and that is just super ugly

Jinjo

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I think the only way to see this movie is high.
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Dimmukane

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I would not watch this movie high.
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Dissy

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I think the only way to see this movie is high.

I saw the trailer, and I thought I was high.  This would probably scare some poor junkie to death.
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Liz

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Guys, keep in mind that it is only PG and meant to be a family film. It's going to be supremely cheesy.
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TheFuriousWombat

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So far it's made only half of what Warner Brothers expected. To me, this is probably one of the biggest "well, obviously..." moments of the year. Was this really supposed to work? Sometimes I wonder if film makers know what they're doing is deplorable and do it anyway or if they actually have some sort of delusion of artistic integrity (like our good friend, Uwe Boll).
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Jackie Blue

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The Wachowski's are so ridiculously rich that they don't care if this movie makes money; they obviously wanted to do something so batshit insane it just might work.  From what I've heard, it works really well, as a totally batshit cheezy drug film.

I mean, it's the cinematic equivalent of JK Rowling saying "Oh, by the way, Dumbledore was gay".  Once you're rich enough, some people just stop giving a fuck and doing/saying whatever they want because, hey, they don't need money anymore.
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Ikrik

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So far ten of my friends and two of my relatives who've seen the movie (and have kids) have told me that they thought the movie was possibly one of the worst films they've ever seen.....they rank it only SLIGHTLY higher than the Phantom Menace.  Suprisingly the kids didn't like it either.....which is interesting considering that's who it's geared for.  Three of my friends thought the special effects were stupid which I can relate to from the trailers.  I can honestly say that I will be avoiding this one like the plague.
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Jackie Blue

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There's a scene in which the lead guy pretends to have been in the shower in order to convince two henchmen that he didn't hear them at the door. The three of them repeat this plot device back to each other about thirty times as if their trying to convince themselves that it's true.

Er, are you aware it was supposed to be humorous?  I mean, I know art is subjective and all but critically Bound was considered really good, even winning a bunch of awards.  I personally thought it was great.

Rottentomatoes has it at 92%.
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Johnny C

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Sometimes the masses are just wrong.
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Jackie Blue

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Yes, but we're talking about the mass of critics.  I dare you to find a movie with a 90% or higher score on Rottentomatoes that could plausibly be defined as "absolutely fucking horrible".

Bottom line, sure there are always people who dislike certain movies, I'm sure there are people who don't like Citizen Kane.  But when 92% of critics agree that something is good, then it probably means that there is some merit in it and calling it out to be as bad as tommy did is irresponsible.
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teh pwn queen

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I thought Speed Racer was good.  But I also don't have high expectations for movies... ever.  Probably why I like action movies so much, they don't demand me to think about the situation and find the meaning behind it.  Just sit back and watch the pretty colors and explosions.  Which was basically what Speed Racer boiled down to: admire the special effects in the races.  And I did, and they were good.
But of course.... many will disagree, it's inevitable.  I will stand by my judgment.
And the fact that I was surprised how well Matthew Fox was as Racer X, loved his voice...
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Johnny C

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I'm willing to posit that the critics are occasionally wrong!
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Jackie Blue

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In the case of Pinkerton, about half the critics were wrong.

In the case of Bound, you're asserting it's possible for over 90% of the critics to be wrong.

There is a difference there.
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E. Spaceman

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oddly, i'd say that critics are the group most likely to be wrong about anything.
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Surgoshan

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I remember enjoying Bound.

Of course, I was 16.
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Johnny C

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In the case of Pinkerton, about half the critics were wrong.

In the case of Bound, you're asserting it's possible for over 90% of the critics to be wrong.

I'd say if half the critics were wrong about Bound then I can rest my case.
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Ikrik

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oddly, i'd say that critics are the group most likely to be wrong about anything.

.........Like the millions of critics who said that 10,000 BC was absolutely terrible?  Or the millions of critics who say that Uwe Boll movies are terrible?  I'd have to say that for MOST movies critics get it right most of the time.  It's when they entirely miss the point of the movie or have no idea what the movie's about that you can't trust them.
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Storm Rider

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I don't think you need to watch movies professionally to tell that Uwe Boll movies are bad.

Just sayin'.
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E. Spaceman

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Yeah, i don't really see what is so meritory about knowing a film sucks. I say this as someone who got paid to review music and films.
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Dimmukane

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On a related note, I don't know if you guys have heard, but Postal (Uwe Boll's newest) has only been able to secure 4 theatres in America so far for its premiere next week.  Everyone else is boycotting it because of the 9/11 parody.
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Ikrik

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NO WAY!  I really wanted to see that movie too.....damnit.  I had a huge group of about 15 people who said that they'd see it and another dozen saying that might come......now I'm going to have to let all those people down.
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Jackie Blue

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Everyone else is boycotting it because of the 9/11 parody.

So Uwe Boll finally does something right and nobody will let him show it.

Great.
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Storm Rider

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On a related note, I don't know if you guys have heard, but Postal (Uwe Boll's newest) has only been able to secure 4 theatres in America so far for its premiere next week.  Everyone else is boycotting it because of the 9/11 parody.

Really? Huh, I just assumed it was because of the NC-17 rating and because theater owners have finally wised up to the fact that his movies bomb horribly and therefore aren't worth the screen space. That reason does make sense, though.
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Jackie Blue

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It's not the worst film ever made. That would be Thirteen. Incidentally, this film was also 'critically acclaimed'.

It was?

Well, there goes my argument.  That movie was pretty terrible.

And, actually, I thought Good Will Hunting was a fucking awful pile of dogshit and it was critically lauded as well.

I guess what I meant was more that Bound was acclaimed by non-mainstream critics.  I mean, Titanic was well-reviewed too.
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E. Spaceman

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I am certain that Thirteen is not the worst movie ever. I'd say that distinction goes to Ken Park. I thnk that one also got critically acclaimed and was worse than anything else i have ever seen.
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Hat

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I have a theory this movie is actually a lovingly constructed PG tribute to Death Race 2000.
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Johnny C

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Man, you people have no value scale, honestly.
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Ikrik

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I have a theory this movie is actually a lovingly constructed PG tribute to Death Race 2000.

Yeah? Well thank god they didn't put Stallone as the bad guy in Speed Racer.
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est

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I saw the trailer for this the other day and commented that it looks absolutely horrible and yet fairly representative of the old cartoon series.

Guys, the old cartoon series was fucking terrible.
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Orbert

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True.  In a race, the background was just a blur of color.  It looks like they tried to approximate that in the movie.  The background is just a blur of color.  Only, you know, hi-tech color.
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Ozymandias

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I saw the trailer for this the other day and commented that it looks absolutely horrible and yet fairly representative of the old cartoon series.

Guys, the old cartoon series was fucking terrible.

THANK YOU.
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MrBridge

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I saw the trailer for this the other day and commented that it looks absolutely horrible and yet fairly representative of the old cartoon series.

Guys, the old cartoon series was fucking terrible.

Yes, but going to Major Video and renting the beta tapes made this (then =p) 5 year old a very happy boy.

That said, those memories will be staying there, happily unmolested by today's "moviemaking."

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pwntuspilate

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With all the hate in this thread for this movie I thought I'd offer my 2 cents as someone who really enjoyed the film.

First, I thought all the racing scenes were fantastic.  All the infighting and car acrobatics between the racers was really cool.  I also thought the method of panning though all the different people watching the race was a great way of keeping the excitement going.  They showed enough of the race so you could actually see what was going on, but still managed to create tension and excitement.  I also loved the use of color in the movie.  It made it seem more like a cartoon without sacrificing special effects.  I'm surprised how much the effects have been criticized...in a day and age where computers can generate pretty much any image I thought it was refreshing to see someone do something "unique" instead of struggling for "better".  I also thought the acting was pretty good for a movie was this type...I was totally caught up in the scenes that moved the emotional storyline forward.  I don't understand how anyone can dislike Christina Ricci in this film...she is completely adorable, not to mention she looks like an anime character.

My only complaints of this movie are that at times the dialogue is cheesy and the story is kind of predictable...but these things didn't bother me as much as they would in other movies because I was caught up in what I listed above and since its a kids movie.
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loam

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bwahaha. this was funny to read. I had the mispleasure of having to work on racer, and yeah I just shouldn't have gone to see it. I do that with a lot of movies I work on actually. Somebody seriously needs to smack the hollywood executives around until they stop making horrible horrible awful movies that shouldn't  be made. Sigh. And I'm currently helping finish up Mummy 3 then back to development on effects for G.I. Joe. See what I mean? Bleh. I need to find a different career.
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est

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But loam, think of all the joy you are bringing to people with no taste and/or standards.  Surely that is reward enough for a job well done?
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pilsner

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They say that every time a new Saw movie or Adam Sandler movie comes out, crime rates drop all over the States.  Seriously.  Like I'm not making this up.  I'd even link you to article if I wasn't so incredibly lazy.  People who make shitty movies are saving lives.
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loam

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hahaahh

Whoever said that I had any desire to save lives? There's too many people, not too few ;)

Really the delima is that I'm a visual effects artist and I work at one of the biggest post houses in the world (Digital Domain, the other big ones are ILM, Imageworks, Rhythm & Hues, and WETA). If a movie has the budget to hire us, it's pretty much a given that I'm not going to like it. I just generally dislike big profit-driven films, and ironically I hate effects heavy movies. Sure I know it's what I do, but I wish we got to spend more time working on a few key things that really support a story rather than throwing CGI crap everywhere because we're trying to one-up the last big CGI blockbuster. I think the only film I've worked on at a big studio was Flags of our Fathers. I may go back to a smaller place next to work on more independant productions. We shall see.
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Jimmy the Squid

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I must be a bad person or something because I am looking forward to Mummy 3 like you wouldn't believe.
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loam

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I must be a bad person or something because I am looking forward to Mummy 3 like you wouldn't believe.

It does look like it has the potential to not suck, it just not the sort of thing I prefer. I'm not aware of any reason that having different taste makes ya a bad person.
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Jimmy the Squid

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I thoroughly enjoyed Alien vs Predator: Requiem. For most people that pretty much seals the deal, as it were.
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Stampeding_Vash

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I think Steven Colbert said it best when he described Speed Racer as setting off a bunch of fireworks in a dryer and then climbing in with them.

That being said, I was entertained. I dont think it was all that good, but I was entertained.
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