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Author Topic: Phobias.  (Read 48922 times)

Patrick

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #200 on: 03 Feb 2008, 19:55 »

A mate of mine had an Alsatian, that at the time was bigger than me - a big-ass motherfucker that probably could've ripped me to shreds. But it's the dopiest, soppiest thing I've ever known

The dogs here in Tirana are a strange thing. I nearly got bitten by a golden retriever on a farm about 3 weeks ago, but my mate's Alsatian/German Shepherd down the street is a 140lb furry bucket of kisses and adoration for anything it sees.

I do think it might be due to the fact that my friend's dog knows me, though. I was walking to another friend's house in the neighborhood and he was barking like crazy and growling at anybody who got within 10 feet, but when I walked up to him he started wagging his tail (altering the earth's orbit, no doubt) and let me scratch him behind the ears.

Dogs are just fuckin' weird I don't know.
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Nodaisho

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #201 on: 04 Feb 2008, 02:40 »

I have a fear of heights.  But its weird.  I'm ok to be out on my grandmothers balcony 11 stories up.  But put me on a zip line 2 stories up, I'm scared shitless.
Huh. Is it the temptation to jump off or something? I get that, but I still love heights. Is the temptation to jump off high things called vertigo?

It feels kinda like I am tilting out into empty space, even when there is a solid barrier between me and said gap.
« Last Edit: 04 Feb 2008, 02:42 by Nodaisho »
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psyne

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #202 on: 04 Feb 2008, 10:25 »

I have a fear of heights.  But its weird.  I'm ok to be out on my grandmothers balcony 11 stories up.  But put me on a zip line 2 stories up, I'm scared shitless.
Huh. Is it the temptation to jump off or something? I get that, but I still love heights. Is the temptation to jump off high things called vertigo?

It feels kinda like I am tilting out into empty space, even when there is a solid barrier between me and said gap.

You might be getting vertigo there, but vertigo itself isn't a temptation, it's a kind of dizziness, where you either feel like things around you are moving/spinning, or like you're moving/spinning when you aren't. It can cause people to fall over from the dizziness itself or overcompensating the opposite direction. Ever spun in a circle for a while then stopped and felt like everything else is spinning around you? It's like that. (And I think it's usually spinning rather than falling forward, but it might be both. I'm not an expert.)
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SevenPinkerton

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #203 on: 04 Feb 2008, 11:43 »

I don't know anyone with an Alsation dog, and two or three people mention having them above. Weird.

I went through a summer in which for the first time in my life I feared death. It was a result of falling in love with someone that I felt needed me, weirdly enough. I guess I never really valued life or thought about what I'd be leaving behind or losing until I met my now fiance. I hyperventilated for months, had a few panic attacks, and became a huge hypochondriac. I was convinced I was going to die at any time. Finally, school started again and all I needed was something else to think about, but not before I was prescribed lexapro by a senile doctor.
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Nodaisho

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #204 on: 04 Feb 2008, 12:37 »

Yeah, I think I know what you mean, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people mainly wanted to live because they felt that someone else needed them, or they didn't want to make someone sad.
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cynnabyte

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #205 on: 06 Feb 2008, 09:28 »

I can't say I have any phobias. Other than waking up and having a phobia. Does that make me phobiphobic? Like a fear of phobias? I could never be afraid of falling. Besides, it's not the fall that sucks. It's the landing! Fear of Americans? Everyone has that! Especially us Americans. Needles have always fascinated me.. They just pop it in and out flushes your vital juices!  "Amazing!"               
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Bibliophile

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #206 on: 06 Feb 2008, 14:09 »

Cynnabyte, that reminds me of this:
Quote
The Bene Gesserit Littainy against Fear.
Pg 19 of Dune

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that we are afraid of only one thing - pain. Being afraid of the dark is being scared of the unknown, because what we don't know about might hurt us. There could be scary things hiding in the dark. Being afraid of needles and spiders etc. is a fear of pain. Being afraid of driving because we may hurt others is a fear of the distress we may cause others and therefore the worry and guilt we cause ourselves, and/or the pain of incarceration. Worry and guilt are kinds of pyschological pain. The fear that our friends and family don't really like us and are just being polite is the fear that we are unloved. Feeling unloved is another kind of pyschological pain. We are also scared of things we don't understand, because if we don't understand every aspect of a thing and how or why it works then it might be something that could cause us pain.

We're human. The majority of us don't like pain, because pain is a warning that something is wrong. "OW! HOT!" can mean "Take your hand off that hotplate, it is burning your skin and that is not a good thing." "Aw! SAD!" can mean "They don't like you - change your behavior so you are more socially acceptable and then more people will like you and be your friend - because there is safety in numbers." Therefore, there is not really any such thing as an irrational fear. Really, an "irrational fear" is just someone labeling you to make themselves feel more comfortable because they don't understand your fear and, well, didn't I say not understanding things was a fear already?

So basically, the best we can do is try to analyze each fear and weigh risks against benefits. Is it worth the effort to get over your fear of sharks? If you ever want to go scuba diving, probably yes. If you don't, probably not. If you worry sharks will come out of the shower head during your daily wash, probably yes. Fear is an instinct that has evolved over millions of years. Those that worried there was a lion hiding in that bush lived every time there really was a lion. The rest became cat food. The scared live on and breed and pass on their scared little genetics.

To conclude (I didn't mean to write an article guys, sorry, I started typing and it just sort of... happened. At least there is a scroll bar!) sometimes it is worth fighting against your instincts and sometimes it is not. As a librarian, I could be crushed by a stack of falling books and be killed! But this is very unlikely event and it is not worth giving up a paycheque for. Any time I make the Vancouver to Sydney flight we could crash! But it's only a slim chance, so I don't let it get in the way of seeing my loved ones. Basically, like everything in life, you need to put it into perspective.

P.S. Having said all that, thank you to Ephemere and everyone else for talking about their fear of driving. I am 23 now, and I still don't drive.
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SevenPinkerton

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #207 on: 06 Feb 2008, 15:42 »

I actually just finished a section in Montaigne's writings concerning the fear of death and the fear of pain. He calls all fear a natural instinct against pain. Even our fear of death is a fear of the pain or the unknown, while when we are actually confronted with death, at the moments right before you slip away, you can be filled with perfect calm and acceptance and realize it's just a part of life.
Of course, he also contradicts himself again, because the dude is like that, but I found it intriguing.

And I must comment, I certainly do not believe all fear is from a fear of pain. How then would I explain my sudden fear of death due to my fear of leaving my lover behind? That's not pain, just plain insanity and emotions.
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Patrick

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #208 on: 06 Feb 2008, 16:17 »

Fear is an instinct that has evolved over millions of years. Those that worried there was a lion hiding in that bush lived every time there really was a lion. The rest became cat food.

Or they evolved into George Washington, who went on to fuck the shit out of bears.

Regarding driving, I'm 19 and I'm only learning to drive this summer. I'm not so much afraid of CARS so much as I'm afraid I'll kill somebody. I don't even care about my own safety (either I'm suicidal or just absurdly altruistic*), just so long as I don't get anybody else killed I'll be alright dying.

I don't care if an animal runs in front of my car, though. Unless it is the size of a golden retriever or larger, I am not going to risk running into a pole for the sake of a gat-damn squirrel. If I hit somebody's cat, that really sucks. Chihuahuas? Different story, I hate the bastards. But if a deer stops in front of my car, I am going to be like "OH FUCK THAT IS A DEER" and stop.

*Bahahaha no way am I altruistic, it's GOT to be a deathwish
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Bibliophile

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #209 on: 06 Feb 2008, 17:09 »

And here I was worried I might just be talking out of my ass, but it turns out I'm just having similar thoughts to some guy born in the 1500's who was a very influential writer and popularised essay writing. Well there you go. o_o

"When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her?" - Montaigne

Holy crap, the man is a genius.

And I must comment, I certainly do not believe all fear is from a fear of pain. How then would I explain my sudden fear of death due to my fear of leaving my lover behind? That's not pain, just plain insanity and emotions.

Exactly! It is emotions! And some emotions are painful. You do not want to hurt her by leaving her behind. You feel guilty about how she would suffer from the loss. It's that guilt (even though it would be something you have no control over) that hurts and makes you fearful.
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Emilie__x

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #210 on: 07 Feb 2008, 06:16 »

I have a phobia of being disliked.
Everyone I come across I have to make them like me in some way & if I fail, which is becoming less and less rare, I obsess over it for weeks.

This is either due to having no real friends until the age of 14/15 & being bullied and generally hated or the fact that after about 8 or 9 months of knowing me, people decide they don't want to do so anymore because I get irritating... Or both of them.

I'm also scared of loads of hygiene related things, like I hate touching doors (or just surfaces in general, thinking about it), especially in public places because of how many people have touched them & you can actually feel the yuck on them.

I try to wash my hands as often as possible because I am grossly aware of the dirt accumulating on them...


I'm also scared of uhm... I can't remember what they're called...
dsfigkjb in French they're called aeoliennes... dkgjbg...
Whatever; they scare the CRAP out of me.
I have no idea why; I just get really fucking panicky when I see them even like in pictures...

...& daddy long legs are terrifying.
Not because of their deadly poison... Just dflkgjh!
Although I've been working on that one & I'm getting better :)

Oh and bad knowledge and/or expression of the English language and its grammar when it's through ignorance.
I think that's more a frustration though...
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SevenPinkerton

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #211 on: 07 Feb 2008, 08:18 »

Yes, Montaigne is a genius. If he lived still I would seek him out and throw myself at him. In his section about the ridiculousness of custom and habits, he goes over his sex life and how he just can't bother having sex anytime but before bed, and certainly not standing up. And he finds that very irritating. I'm sure I could help him. I have a habit of fantasizing about ancient philosophers. At least I'm over Francis Bacon.

I sort of have a fear of people that I know. I love strangers, but I'm afraid of running into people I know because I never know what to say to them. I'm fine with good friends, but when it's just acquaintances I get really really nervous. And even though I'm 23, I still get scared talking to adults I respect.
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Toba

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #212 on: 07 Feb 2008, 22:12 »

Bugs flying at my face.  Jesus christ I don't get why that freaks me out.
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pen

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #213 on: 08 Feb 2008, 05:57 »

I think anything flying at my face would freak me out, but I wouldn't really consider it a phobia.
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Cartilage Head

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #214 on: 09 Feb 2008, 05:47 »

I don't like people reaching and touching my face. I wouldn't get along well with blind people.
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dalconnsuch

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #215 on: 11 Feb 2008, 22:47 »

this may sound odd

but i have the worst fear of snails and slugs, seriously, i freal the fuck out

ironically my college's mascot is a giant snail
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Patrick

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #216 on: 12 Feb 2008, 06:26 »

SC is a cool town and all, but between hippies and shitty weather, I don't know which is worse, the phobia of snails or having to be stuck there year-round.
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blaha 41

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #217 on: 12 Feb 2008, 17:20 »

i'm scared stiff of sky diving. i'm not sure when it happened because I really like bungee jumping.
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ampersandwitch

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #218 on: 12 Feb 2008, 17:21 »

I don't like people reaching and touching my face. I wouldn't get along well with blind people.

Physical touching at all is a little for no if I don't know you well enough.  That scary art teacher who pet me for like thirty seconds because he liked my picture? No thanks!
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Elizzybeth

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Re: Phobias.
« Reply #219 on: 12 Feb 2008, 18:21 »

Is that a phobia, though?  I'd call that pretty normal.  The being afraid of being touched by strangers thing, that is, not the petting art teacher.

I'm irrationally afraid of eels, which are generally fairly gentle creatures that only attack humans when truly provoked.  It doesn't interfere with my daily life (turns out I'm a land animal, which means I don't come into contact with creatures that hang out 150 meters under the sea) and thus is not a phobia.  But come on, this is terrifying:

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