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Author Topic: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.  (Read 10021 times)

cupcakeonastick

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I work at Target.

Yesterday someone returned this cheapo doll set called "International Dolls"

And let me tell you, it's a GEM among the dolls of today.

U.S.A. was some kind of prarie/cowgirl with blond hair and blue eyes. Right.

Canada had a terrible blue and white track suit type thing on with a giant maple leaf on her chest. *facepalm*

Spain had HUGE curly frizzy black hair and a bull fighting outfit.

Austria, Portugal, Korea, Norway, and England all looked inexplicably similar. They were wearing dresses and bonnets that could have put them comfortably next to Julie Andrews on her green hills of music.

Ohoh, and Egypt, with her yellow tube top and pink hotpants and shoes. Put a penis in her mouth and a 20 in her hand and the picture is complete.

I must have stared at this set for a good 5 minutes, in horror and awe.

I will say that China and India looked just fine. So uh, go toy companies.

Get this and those whorish brain tumors they call "Bratz dolls" for every kid you know, stat.
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Caiphana

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #1 on: 11 Jan 2008, 12:17 »

Stereotypes are fun.

Strike that. Fun.

And the Bratz dolls are awful. I want to wring the neck of whoever came up with those.
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jhocking

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #2 on: 11 Jan 2008, 12:21 »

I will say that China... looked just fine.
Hardly surprising. *rimshot*

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #3 on: 11 Jan 2008, 12:44 »

I remember these things from way back. Like, when I was a kid I worked at Toy R Us. They had them even then.

So we're talking in the Bronze Age at least.
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Paav

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #4 on: 11 Jan 2008, 13:53 »

Hey, here in South Dakota a solid 70% of people are blond with blue eyes. Nothing but Norweigans and Germans around here and of course we all dress up like cowboys.

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Kytt

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #5 on: 11 Jan 2008, 14:11 »

Semi-off-topic: I got hired to work at Target today!
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #6 on: 11 Jan 2008, 14:33 »

I bet they didn't have an Australia doll.
Who puts in Norway and not Australia?
What would an Australia doll be wearing? A bikini and an Akubra hat?
These are questions we need to be asking, people.
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doki

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #7 on: 11 Jan 2008, 15:15 »

an australian doll would be wearing an aussie flag bikini with a wanky tattoo on her back holding a goon cask
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Caiphana

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #8 on: 11 Jan 2008, 15:18 »

All Aussies look like Steve Irwin. Slap on boobies and make everything shorter.
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..so long as the word "cookie" is in your country's vocabulary, it's an okay place to be.

Those who forget the past may be doomed to repeat it, but those who refuse to learn from the past and move on are fucking idiots.

thehollow

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #9 on: 11 Jan 2008, 15:22 »

Man I lived in Spain for 6 months and didn't see anyone that looked like that. Probably because they were all too busy taking their siestas, and dancing the flamenco away from bulls while drinking sangria.
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ForteBass

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #10 on: 11 Jan 2008, 15:59 »

Wait, if we're going based on old stereotypes, then shouldn't the australians be dressed in rags and bound by shackles?
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #11 on: 11 Jan 2008, 16:08 »

Canada had a terrible blue and white track suit type thing on with a giant maple leaf on her chest. *facepalm*

To be fair, I'm wearing a terrible blue and white track suit type thing with a giant maple leaf on the chest.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #12 on: 11 Jan 2008, 16:10 »

pics or gtfo
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #13 on: 11 Jan 2008, 16:34 »

I second that.
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hannahrochelle

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #14 on: 11 Jan 2008, 16:44 »

Aussies are always forgotten.

Except for Steve Irwin, Paul Hogan and the Wiggles.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #15 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:10 »

I hate the damn Wiggles.


Also, I'm super German, yet I lack the blond hair, and blue eyes. :(
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Caiphana

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #16 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:16 »

I watched the Wiggles when I was sick once last year-ish.

It was mildly terrifying, yet strangely entrancing.
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..so long as the word "cookie" is in your country's vocabulary, it's an okay place to be.

Those who forget the past may be doomed to repeat it, but those who refuse to learn from the past and move on are fucking idiots.

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #17 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:26 »

2 of them used to be in a band called The Cockroaches. Then somehow, they ended up entertaining/terrifying children.

I love those guys.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #18 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:28 »

I hate the damn Wiggles.


Also, I'm super German, yet I lack the blond hair, and blue eyes. :(

I have a good portion of German in me, yet I've got brown hair and green eyes. But I'm really tall, so that may be all I got from that side of the family.

The Wiggles freak me out. More so than Barney and the Teletubbies combined. Meaning this is a borderline phobia.
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Caiphana

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #19 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:31 »

I remember watching Telletubbies once.

It was alright until the TVs in their bellies started doing things. Then I got freaked out.

There's this one TV show with three people, one dude wears blue, the girl wears pink, and another guy wears green. One of the guys has a guitar on his... outfit. They wear these costumes and wigs that make them look like muppets and play music and crap.
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..so long as the word "cookie" is in your country's vocabulary, it's an okay place to be.

Those who forget the past may be doomed to repeat it, but those who refuse to learn from the past and move on are fucking idiots.

doki

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #20 on: 11 Jan 2008, 18:33 »

you guys! Boo Bah!

now that's freaky
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camelpimp

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #21 on: 11 Jan 2008, 20:22 »

I honestly question the statement that the China doll and the India doll "looked fine." I have my suspicions.
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cupcakeonastick

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #22 on: 11 Jan 2008, 21:08 »

Well, I said that

1.) in comparison to the other dolls

and

2.) because they had nothing bad enough to inspire snark or colorful commentary on my part


I urge you to seek them out and rise to the challenge, of course.
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ForteBass

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #23 on: 11 Jan 2008, 21:09 »

Isn't it obvious? The Chinese doll was wearing a straw hat and a long tunic, and the Indian was Vishnu.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #24 on: 11 Jan 2008, 21:12 »

The australia doll would be wearing really short australian flag boardies, a white tank top over a bikini, have a small southern cross tattooed just above her right ankle be wearing silly big sunnies and be holding like seven vodka cruisers.
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mooface

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #25 on: 11 Jan 2008, 21:18 »

there was no bahraini doll?!

i don't know whether to be insulted or relieved.

edit:  wait, there is no italian doll either.  weird.
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LordNagash

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #26 on: 11 Jan 2008, 21:56 »


?
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Johnny C

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #27 on: 11 Jan 2008, 23:30 »

Canada had a terrible blue and white track suit type thing on with a giant maple leaf on her chest. *facepalm*

I just realized what this is supposed to be referring to!



The real one's so much nicer though. Assuming you're the kind of heathen dipshit who likes the Leafs.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #28 on: 12 Jan 2008, 06:53 »

I know Canadians are very proud of their maple leaves, and the spectacular colours they're supposed to turn in autumn, but all the same I have a great deal of difficulty in believing that they are at any stage blue.
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RobbieOC

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #29 on: 12 Jan 2008, 07:42 »

Interestingly, there is a Japanese doll, you just can't see it because it's a ninja.
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Johnny C

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #30 on: 12 Jan 2008, 09:13 »

Harry, it's because Canada is cold.
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philharmonic

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #31 on: 12 Jan 2008, 11:58 »

oh what you'd rather she had a Sens sweater.

(Leafs fan)
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #32 on: 12 Jan 2008, 18:32 »

Also I've only just noticed the horrendous spelling error in the name of that team. Maple leaves, people. Maple LEAVES.
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cupcakeonastick

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #33 on: 12 Jan 2008, 20:10 »

This thread needs less hockey in it.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #34 on: 12 Jan 2008, 20:22 »

But it's the best game you can name.

Coincidentally, the best game you can name, is the good old hockey game.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #35 on: 12 Jan 2008, 20:24 »

This thread needs less honky in it.
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Johnny C

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #36 on: 13 Jan 2008, 09:31 »

Also I've only just noticed the horrendous spelling error in the name of that team.

I'm a fan of the Habs myself so I could really care less. Just another thing Toronto does wrong.
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jhocking

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #37 on: 13 Jan 2008, 09:35 »


?
That can't be the set cupcake was describing, because the Korean woman is wearing a hanbok (ie. traditional Korean attire) and she described a hills-of-music reminiscent dress and bonnet.
« Last Edit: 13 Jan 2008, 09:36 by jhocking »
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cupcakeonastick

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #38 on: 13 Jan 2008, 09:38 »

That is actually the set, though Egypt in mine did not have that head thing or whatever the red thing is across her chest.

I was struggling to remember all of the countries at home without the set in front of me.
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jhocking

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #39 on: 13 Jan 2008, 09:51 »

Those aren't hotpants.

Now that I see the dolls you are referring to, they don't look so ridiculous or anything. I mean no that's not how people dress on a daily basis, but those are all how people dress when they want to evoke a traditional look from their country (eg. Koreans dress like that for special holidays.) Well, except for Canada I suppose, that one is kinda odd.

EDIT: Actually, Spain is pretty fucked up too.
« Last Edit: 13 Jan 2008, 09:59 by jhocking »
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tommydski

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #40 on: 13 Jan 2008, 10:22 »

This thread needs less honky in it.

Wouldn't this forum be reduced to just Joe, Ruyi, Yelley, MaiAda and Huda?

Good deal for Joe I guess.
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jhocking

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #41 on: 13 Jan 2008, 10:36 »

sweet

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #42 on: 13 Jan 2008, 10:36 »

Also I've only just noticed the horrendous spelling error in the name of that team.

I'm a fan of the Habs myself so I could really care less. Just another thing Toronto does wrong.

Johnny, I love you, really. But I think I have to stab you in the teeth now.
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #43 on: 13 Jan 2008, 14:29 »

Going by current standards, I think you mean "teef".
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hannahrochelle

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #44 on: 13 Jan 2008, 14:34 »

Now, going by what's been said so far in this thread, wouldn't the American one just be a redneck?
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #45 on: 13 Jan 2008, 15:19 »

Oh man, Toronto fans are bad.... But Habs fans are THE WORST.

I'm not sure if living literally as 'right-next2Quebec' as possible has anything to do with this, but it always seems like there's hoards of ignorant, flamboyant, obnoxious habs fans EVERYWHERE I fucking go.
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cupcakeonastick

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #46 on: 13 Jan 2008, 19:03 »

Those aren't hotpants.

Now that I see the dolls you are referring to, they don't look so ridiculous or anything. I mean no that's not how people dress on a daily basis, but those are all how people dress when they want to evoke a traditional look from their country (eg. Koreans dress like that for special holidays.) Well, except for Canada I suppose, that one is kinda odd.

EDIT: Actually, Spain is pretty fucked up too.

The one that got returned to me did not have pants like that. It may be that the parent had failed to realize the doll was pantless and just returned it missing certain pieces. That would explain the lack of head wear on her, too.

Either way, I think saying most of those are a fair representation of those countries is stretching it.

I see it as another cheap effort by toy companies to confuse parents into thinking they're educating their children by buying them that set. Which is easy to do, at least going by the parents who shop at Target. But then, I hate most dolls that are sold. They're either creepy or incredibly stereotypical or BRATZ, which deserve their own category for obvious reasons.

EDIT: But as I said, I think China and India were fine. And I'll give you Korea.
« Last Edit: 13 Jan 2008, 19:08 by cupcakeonastick »
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #47 on: 13 Jan 2008, 19:06 »

I think the greater stretch is the claim on the part of the toy company that those dolls are in any way cool (or "kool", if you prefer). "Super-Nerd Toyz" might be a better name for the line.
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Paav

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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #48 on: 14 Jan 2008, 08:23 »

Isn't anything with "Kool" or "Kewl" just code for "Super-Nerd." Kind of like anything with "X-treme" is code for "Brain Dead."
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Re: The World is full of hookers and Julie Andrews.
« Reply #49 on: 14 Jan 2008, 08:32 »

I think the greater stretch is the claim on the part of the toy company that those dolls are in any way cool (or "kool", if you prefer). "Super-Nerd Toyz" might be a better name for the line.

"A toy set for the socially-conscious little shit taking up space in what was supposed to be your den!"
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