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Author Topic: Tommy is the root of all evil.  (Read 3928 times)

fatty

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Tommy is the root of all evil.
« on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:35 »

Tommy is the reason I can't sleep at night

Tommy is the one who tells the Grim Reaper the funniest ways to die

Tommy is...
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est: she is basically an ass to everyone

0bsessions

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #1 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:36 »

Tommy is a gent that posts on a forum I frequent.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

Blue Kitty

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #2 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:36 »

Tommy is my hero
Tommy is my idle
Tommy is the person I wank to in the cold, cold night
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ZJGent

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #3 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:38 »

Tommy took my virginity and won't give it back, god damn him!
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fatty

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #4 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:40 »

Tommy is the reason i'm gabbling at work.
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est: she is basically an ass to everyone

KickThatBathProf

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #5 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:43 »

Tommy n'est pas une pipe
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dumplings are the answer because the foreskin boys

0bsessions

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #6 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:43 »

Tommy gave Freddie Mercury AIDS.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

fatty

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #7 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:47 »

Tommy is the root of all AIDs
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est: she is basically an ass to everyone

KickThatBathProf

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #8 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:49 »

This is going to end up as the Tommy version of Chuck Norris jokes I just know it
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dumplings are the answer because the foreskin boys

ampersandwitch

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #9 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:51 »

Tommy is going to see this thread and hate it.
Really.
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Jimmy the Squid

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #10 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:52 »

Tommy is.
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ruyi

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #11 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:54 »

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KickThatBathProf

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #12 on: 28 Feb 2008, 18:54 »

Nice.  My post got edited magically to Anal Prolapse
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dumplings are the answer because the foreskin boys

ampersandwitch

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #13 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:00 »

Word filters.
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KickThatBathProf

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #14 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:03 »

oh...

i guess jeph dislikes walker texas ranger then
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dumplings are the answer because the foreskin boys

ZJGent

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #15 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:08 »

it's actually "Silent Rage" and "The Hitman" that turned Jephrey off of ... you know... him. (the bearded devil; O we shall not speak his name.)
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Inlander

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #16 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:13 »

Tommy needs a hug.
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Sox

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #17 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:22 »

Tommy is too popular for the cool kids and needs to break up his band and start again with a new name. As soon as the fat chicks in Weezer t-shirts start talking about how fantastic his albums are, he'll loose credibility with the inside crowd and get 86'd. Disenchanted, he'll give into the pressure to sign to a major from his growing fan base and be told to write songs with "more hooks". He'll make one okay album after this, but one obvious single will attract attention from a car manufacturer. His label, owning the rights to the song, will sell it to the said company to be used in a TV ad. In the independent music press, he will be regarded as something of a joke.
After this he will sit awake at night, staring at his reflection in the window overlooking the city, wondering how his life became what it is. All he wanted to do was make straight-up rock music, and now he has invitations to open for Chester Bennington's new electro-hip-popera band on tour.

Drunk and confused, he will put his hand to his reflection and shed a single tear.

The next day, he will march down to his record label and demand to see his manager, declaring that he wants out, but his manager will point out his contractual obligation. Tommy makes music for the masses, or he doesn't make music at all. Not without getting sued by his label.
Frustrated, he will record his four album and two EP requirement to fulfill his contract in the space of just 3 years. They will suck, intentionally, the last few years of his major label career being a big 'fuck you' to anybody who still listens. By this stage, depression and alcoholism will have made him fat, the fan girls will have left and all he will have is gadgets and TV to make him happy. His materialistic needs will begin to outweigh anything else in his life, and soon all he looks forward to is new toys and TV shows. He stops leaving the house, having his meals delivered directly to his lap, he eventually has a toilet installed in his chair so he doesn't have to miss his favourite sitcoms. The lifestyle will lead him to become grossly obese. People stop delivering him food out of protest and emergency services use a crane to remove his fat, malnourished ass to the hospital where they tell him to either change his diet or arrange his funeral.
After eating just two subway sandwiches a day, as well as walking, for a whole year, he loses 750lbs and becomes the poster boy for a large chain of sandwich stores all accross Canada and the US.

Both countries grow to hate his smug shit-sandwich eating grin, but he gets paid a lot of money for his story, buys an island and lives happily ever after.
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est

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #18 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:23 »

Tommy is not a good enough reason to start a list thread, Ali.
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Inlander

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #19 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:24 »

Sounds like est needs a hug.

C'mere, big man.
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est

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #20 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:43 »

Oh god Harry, sometimes I just  ...

*cough*

I'm fine!

I said I'm fine!
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Inlander

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #21 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:53 »

Don't be ashamed man. There, there. Just let it out.

Just let your tears be free.
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est

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #22 on: 28 Feb 2008, 19:59 »

I SAID I'M FINE, OH GOD
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Inlander

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #23 on: 28 Feb 2008, 20:03 »

Est, if I have to unlock this thread so we can all have a group hug, then man, that's just what I'm gonna have to do.
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Johnny C

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Re: Tommy is the root of all evil.
« Reply #24 on: 28 Feb 2008, 23:30 »

Fuck that, I'm here, there's three of us.

Wait, is three the minimum for a group hug or a circle-jerk? I can never remember.
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