Topic: Ripped from today's headlines! (Read 9935 times)

Alex C · « **on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:09 »

I know there's been a few threads on ridiculous news stories before, but since I'm firmly against necro posting, I figured there was little harm starting up a new one.

Anyway, check this one out:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080229/ap_on_re_us/porn_actors_burglaries

Seriously, there's probably slashfic on 4chan more plausible than that story.

ThePQ4 · « **Reply #1 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:12 »

Whew, as long as it isn't my favorite set of twins, I don't care...

Quote

"I told him he should have signed up for the Olympics," Zucker said. "The prosecutor and I even referred to him as Spider-Man."

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was "Yeah, but porn pays better..."

simplename9 · « **Reply #2 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:16 »

OK the first paragraph was the worst. From what I understand both brothers were hardcore gay porn actors.

Now were they in the videos together?? Can any hardcore gay porn fans clarify this because I'm a little weirded out.

Inlander · « **Reply #3 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:22 »

This is really only startling if you're of the opinion that people can do one thing and one thing only in their lives.

Admittedly, porn and burglary isn't the most traditional of career diversification paths, but still . . .

Alex C · « **Reply #4 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:32 »

I just appreciate all the little details and their cumulative effects-- none of the details are that mindblowing on their own. But twin gay porn actors going on an 18 month crime spree and evading the law with athletic feats only to be caught while raiding one beauty shop too many? Smashing!

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #5 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:37 »

ThePQ4 · « **Reply #6 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:39 »

That article was chock full of win, BK!

Alex C · « **Reply #7 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 19:40 »

See? This is why we needed this thread. I thought it'd be at least a good hour before someone topped my twin gay porn stars headline, but I have never been happier to be proven wrong.

Faker · « **Reply #8 on:** 28 Feb 2008, 22:38 »

Quote

taunting the officers, saying, 'You'll never catch me,"

Just like the gingerbread-man!

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #9 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 04:30 »

Maybe he's saying that because they are incredibly good looking they are going to get uglied up in prison, thus ruining their otherwise lucrative careers in the adult entertainment industries (though I'm sure they can still do scar-fetish stuff).

Just as a side-note, I find twin-porn to be a little creepy. The incest angle makes it kind of fucked up.

Inlander · « **Reply #10 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 06:55 »

Well now that raises an interesting conundrum: to you find the idea of homosexual twin porn more or less creepy than heterosexual twin porn? My gut's saying hetero would be more creepy, but that might just be me.

tania · « **Reply #11 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 07:05 »

Quote from: tommydski on 29 Feb 2008, 04:02

The insinuation is that they have wrecked their career in hardcore homosexual pornography by going to jail.

i think they're referring more to the fact that sexually transmitted diseases and drug abuse are really big problems in jail. also, since it's public knowledge that they're gay, it makes them that much more a target in prison.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #12 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 07:39 »

Quote from: Inlander on 29 Feb 2008, 06:55

Well now that raises an interesting conundrum: to you find the idea of homosexual twin porn more or less creepy than heterosexual twin porn? My gut's saying hetero would be more creepy, but that might just be me.

Equally creepy actually. Either way it's still people who are extremely related engaging in sexual activities. I mean they may not be having sex with each other, they could just be doing it near each other which is significantly less creepy but still pretty creepy.

jhocking · « **Reply #13 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 09:19 »

Quote from: Inlander on 29 Feb 2008, 06:55

Well now that raises an interesting conundrum: to you find the idea of homosexual twin porn more or less creepy than heterosexual twin porn? My gut's saying hetero would be more creepy, but that might just be me.

Well that all depends what you mean by "twin porn," both homosexual and heterosexual. I mean, are you talking about the twins actually having sex with each other, or a three-way where the twin sisters are both having sex with the same man?

...

Actually, I think I will end my train of thought here.

Lines · « **Reply #14 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 09:27 »

Yeah, by the second post, this thread was creepy enough. BK saved it, but then it's back to being creepy.

That Captain America article was funny.

Quote

The woman pointed out Adamcik and the burrito was found in his boot. He was taken to the police station. There, while in a holding cell, police said, he asked to use the bathroom and tried to flush a joint, also hidden in his blue tights, down the toilet.

They are tights. I'm surprised he could hide anything in there at all.

negative creep · « **Reply #15 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 09:27 »

Alex C · « **Reply #16 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 10:17 »

Yeah, I was hoping for people posting articles like BK's rather than obsessing about gay twin porn, since I think gay twin porn (and porn in general, actually) is a boring subject unless attached to a chain of increasingly unlikely events. I don't mind too much though; the Sad Captain America Getting Booked picture alone is worth the price of admission.

Also, this news item is less creepy/weird and more neat/weird:

http://www.physorg.com/news122819670.html

Seriously, I want one.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #17 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 11:42 »

that is awesome. i have serious phobia about things under my skin so i won't be getting one but that is really cool.

tommydski · « **Reply #18 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 13:23 »

Quote from: ephemere on 29 Feb 2008, 07:05

i think they're referring more to the fact that sexually transmitted diseases and drug abuse are really big problems in jail. also, since it's public knowledge that they're gay, it makes them that much more a target in prison.

It's just as well 1% of the adult population of America isn't in jail.

Oh wait.

RedLion · « **Reply #19 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 17:00 »

This chart kind of puts it in perspective. Sad, really.

http://www.kieranhealy.org/files/misc/incarceration-rates.png

KharBevNor · « **Reply #20 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 17:11 »

Quote

He was handcuffed in the back of a moving police cruiser after a 2006 drug arrest in Clementon, N.J., when he broke out the glass with his head and jumped into a lake while still handcuffed, police Chief Dave Kunkel said.

"He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers, saying, 'You'll never catch me," Kunkel told the Daily News.

HARDCORE.

Private Eye has a round-up of the very best of these types of news stories. People smuggling hand grenades into prison in their vaginas and marrying their computers and so on. I haven't bought this fortnights copy yet actually, might pick one up tomorrow...

Elizzybeth · « **Reply #21 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 17:18 »

Quote from: ephemere on 29 Feb 2008, 07:05

i think they're referring more to the fact that sexually transmitted diseases and drug abuse are really big problems in jail. also, since it's public knowledge that they're gay, it makes them that much more a target in prison.

Maybe, but it seems to me that the biggest career problem a porn actor would face being in jail is the simple fact of incarceration's forced removal from society. It's difficult (probably not impossible, but certainly difficult) to star in porn films from behind bars. And the one twin who has a sizeable criminal record is facing a couple of years, at least. By the time he'd get out, if he gets out, he'd have lost his youth, which IS a vitally important credential for adult film actors.

Tom · « **Reply #22 on:** 29 Feb 2008, 18:10 »

Quote from: Whipstitch on 29 Feb 2008, 10:17

Yeah, I was hoping for people posting articles like BK's rather than obsessing about gay twin porn, since I think gay twin porn (and porn in general, actually) is a boring subject unless attached to a chain of increasingly unlikely events. I don't mind too much though; the Sad Captain America Getting Booked picture alone is worth the price of admission.

Also, this news item is less creepy/weird and more neat/weird:

http://www.physorg.com/news122819670.html

Seriously, I want one.

it pleases my inner trans-humanist

Peet · « **Reply #23 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 17:06 »

I cant' find the godam drunk ntread.

Lines · « **Reply #24 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:20 »

Well, you stumbled upon one that might be funny whilest drunk.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #25 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 22:29 »

Quote from: Elizzybeth on 29 Feb 2008, 17:18

\youth, which IS a vitally important credential for adult film actors.

More vital than mothafuckin' street cred? I DOUBT IT.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #26 on:** 04 Mar 2008, 08:11 »

HOMIES WANNA POUR THEIR FOTIES ON THAT ASS FOR THEIR HOMIES THAT AIN'T HERE

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #27 on:** 05 Mar 2008, 07:06 »

Quote from: ephemere on 29 Feb 2008, 07:05

Quote from: tommydski on 29 Feb 2008, 04:02
The insinuation is that they have wrecked their career in hardcore homosexual pornography by going to jail.

i think they're referring more to the fact that sexually transmitted diseases and drug abuse are really big problems in jail. also, since it's public knowledge that they're gay, it makes them that much more a target in prison.

That makes more sense than my first thought, of directors saying "I may film men sodomising each other for a living, but you've crossed the line."

The tattoo display: incredible. We're living in the future.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #28 on:** 12 Mar 2008, 15:31 »

Oh man this is priceless.

http://willdo.philadelphiaweekly.com/archives/2008/03/u_city_robbers.html

Sucks for the poor guy who got robbed though.

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #29 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 04:34 »

This is just really weird. For both of them. It took him two years to decide "Okay, this is ridiculous" ?!? And he appears to be the less crazy one...

jhocking · « **Reply #30 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 08:32 »

That is truly bizarre.

pilsner · « **Reply #31 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 08:49 »

Same thing happened in Secretary except it was a desk instead of a toilet. And it was a few days instead of two years.

So yeah, not really the same thing. Great movie though!

calenlass · « **Reply #32 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 11:31 »

I really liked it!

The movie, I mean, not the toilet article. The toilet article was funny.

RedLion · « **Reply #33 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 14:40 »

I'm just wondering why the guy didn't call someone after she had been in there for a whole year. It took two years for him to decide "hmm, maybe I should get some help"? Really?

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #34 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 16:14 »

yeah, there is something seriously wrong with both those people.

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #35 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 18:47 »

I wonder, did other people know about it? Did he have people ask
"Is your girlfriend still sitting on the toilet?"
"Yes..."
"Don't you think you should, you know, do something about it?"
"Well, I dunno, after the first six weeks it doesn't seem weird anymore."
Then they just decide it's none of their business...

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #36 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 18:54 »

Where did they....go, for two years? I was kind of hoping they would answer that for me.

LordNagash · « **Reply #37 on:** 13 Mar 2008, 21:29 »

If I was going to sit somewhere for that much time I would probably do it on the toilet as well. At least it is somewhat practical.

Also, I was not prepared when I first saw The Secretary. Though it was a good movie.

Patrick · « **Reply #38 on:** 14 Mar 2008, 18:04 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 04 Mar 2008, 08:11

HOMIES WANNA POUR THEIR FOTIES ON THAT ASS FOR THEIR HOMIES THAT AIN'T HERE

It is worth being yelled at for necroposting just to say that that was the most awesome thing I've seen in porn ever.

Except maybe black amputee toilet hardware handjob porn.

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Author Topic: Ripped from today's headlines! (Read 9935 times)

tommydski

LordNagash