Of my most loved and most hated alcohols, I figured it out like this:
vodka - no taste, boring, gets around
Schnappes - disgustingly sweet, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, makes me feel a bit ill
Beer - bitter and weak, makes you fat
Bourbon - yummy, but probably a bogan in a wife beater
Gin - delicious, but serious, no fun
Wine - delicious, rich, classy and gets better with age!