Topic: Hanners - Final Girl or the Killer (Read 11438 times)

Border Reiver · « **on:** 21 Mar 2008, 16:44 »

Pretty much what the topic says, in your standard horror movie, who is our favourite blonde character - the plucky final girl, or the sociopathic killer?

Points in favour of her being the final girl

1. She hasn't had sex - in horror movies this is usually a good sign you won't be in the sequel;
2. Can't see her using the standard meathooks, chainsaws or knives as the murder weapons.

Points that favour her as the killer -

1. She has that manicial streak to her character;
2. She has killed before - granted she's only killed bacteria and germs, but still...

bicostp · « **Reply #1 on:** 21 Mar 2008, 20:40 »

Definitely the killer.

Do you know just how toxic most cleaning supplies can be? She's undoubtedly got a stockpile hidden somewhere. And what about that giant spray bottle of carpet cleaner on tank tracks she's got hidden away in the closet? There's a reason you take cover in the kitchen when that thing starts up...

DonInKansas · « **Reply #2 on:** 21 Mar 2008, 21:24 »

Death by Hanners ftw.

Blackcat Moebius · « **Reply #3 on:** 21 Mar 2008, 21:56 »

It'd be like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only with orbital space lasers!

Border Reiver · « **Reply #4 on:** 22 Mar 2008, 08:36 »

Her Dad's got the space station, but not necessarily the lasers.

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #5 on:** 22 Mar 2008, 17:40 »

I would be more surprised if Dr. Chatham hadn't taken an interest in orbital laser weapons than if he had. Actually, we don't know the particular bent of his mad science. There's the robot boyfriend, but is that his main field? I'll tak this off-topic-ery to How did the QC universe get so different from ours?

I like the idea of Hanners turning to someone with fearful certainty and purpose in her eyes and saying "They were untidy. I cleared them away." But I'll go for her as the Final Girl. Apart from not having sex, she's a vunerable, insecure type that appeals to movie-psychos that would develop over through the plot until she stood up to the killer and murdered him with an superior knowledge of what cleaning products react badly with the human body (or Pintsize's katana.)

Border Reiver · « **Reply #6 on:** 23 Mar 2008, 07:55 »

But how many movie killers use space based lasers - that's more of a James Bond Villian speciality.

Alphalpha · « **Reply #7 on:** 23 Mar 2008, 10:42 »

She'd never be a killer, because she'd get covered in blood. Unless she poisoned someone. Either way she'd feel compelled to clean up after. This would mean one of two things:
1) If there's lots of blood she'd stay to clean it, and someone would find her with the body.
2) She does such a good job of cleaning up afterwards there's no forensic evidence linking her to the crime. Not even the body.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #8 on:** 24 Mar 2008, 07:20 »

Hanners vs. CSI who will win?

kasuturo · « **Reply #9 on:** 24 Mar 2008, 07:43 »

Quote from: Border Reiver on 24 Mar 2008, 07:20

Hanners vs. Evil Steven Seagal who will win?

Fix'd.

Switchblade · « **Reply #10 on:** 24 Mar 2008, 08:34 »

Wouldn't murder be kind of icky? Hanners doesn't cope well with icky things.

Somehow, a neurotic serial killer who suffers a massive attack of OCD at the first hint of blood doesn't strike me as terribly efficient. Can you imagine if one if her "victims" did that whole thing where they cry and the tears get all mucousy and dribble off the end of the nose? Hanners would run a mile and scrub frantically.

On the other hand, she'd be perfect at pulling off a kind of freaky ultra-sterility vibe.

Jeff7 · « **Reply #11 on:** 24 Mar 2008, 09:00 »

Quote from: DonInKansas on 21 Mar 2008, 21:24

Death by Hanners ftw.

It would be a pretty good way to die. Still doesn't beat getting killed by a runaway semi driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Quote from: Border Reiver on 24 Mar 2008, 07:20

Hanners vs. CSI who will win?

Thoroughly clean the scene = no evidence left = Hannelore wins.
Of course, the thorough cleaning would serve as a calling card. Klean Killer strikes again!

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #12 on:** 24 Mar 2008, 14:20 »

There was a Roald Dahl story about a man who killed someone in their house, then cleaned his prints off everything. But then starting worrying that he'd missed something, so he cleaned more, and more, and more, until he was cleaning things he knew he hadn't touched but couldn't break the compulsion. He was discovered the next morning cleaning things in the attic.

Perhaps Hannelore would cleanse her victims with fire. Just imagine her wielding a flame-thrower.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #13 on:** 25 Mar 2008, 05:04 »

Quote from: kasuturo on 24 Mar 2008, 07:43

Quote from: Border Reiver on 24 Mar 2008, 07:20
Hanners vs. Evil Steven Seagal who will win?

Fix'd.

That would imply that there is a GOOD Steven Seagal. We all know that Mr. Seagal, while a decent martial artist is a horrific actor who has been inflicted on people for far too long.

Unfortunately in Steven Seagal movie, Hanners couldn't be the villian as women in Steven Seagal movies are all victims or window dressing (and often required to drop their tops, so Hanners could not get the role being somewhat underendowed in that area compared to the "straight out of porn" "actresses" who seem to populate his movies....)

*edited in the one stinking word that changed the sentence to what I meant it to say....

Muskrat121 · « **Reply #14 on:** 25 Mar 2008, 13:05 »

Hanners would make the best movie serial killer 'cause she's so OCD that there would be absoutely no evidence. In fact, she'd probably go as far as to erase any record that the person ever existed. The only evidence against her would be the total lack thereof. But no one would believe it. Even as she was killing them.

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #15 on:** 25 Mar 2008, 16:05 »

That would be an interesting story: an obsessive killer who thoughly erases all evidence of their crimes, and an equally obsessive detective who hunts them despite having no evidence of them doing anything.

Rocketman · « **Reply #16 on:** 25 Mar 2008, 17:43 »

Quote from: bicostp on 21 Mar 2008, 20:40

Do you know just how toxic most cleaning supplies can be?

Ammonia and bleach.

Muskrat121 · « **Reply #17 on:** 26 Mar 2008, 10:37 »

haha, on man. One of my fraternity bros. did that once. He was cleaning out the shower using a bleech product but it wasn't working. So he reached for another bottle which he didn't realize was an ammonoia product. A few moments later he began to wonder why his lungs were burning...

Border Reiver · « **Reply #18 on:** 26 Mar 2008, 11:16 »

Same thing happened in an army barracks a couple of summers ago - I don't think ANYBODY thought they'd ever have to use their gasmasks outside of the gashut.

ChippyD · « **Reply #19 on:** 31 Mar 2008, 06:36 »

Personaly I can see her being the killer AND the last girl! There'd be a rumor where someone dies, and then Hannelor panics everytime anyone even gets close to her personal space bubble, and kills them. And in the end, she's killed everyone, and there wasn't a killer besides her in the first place.

Thaes · « **Reply #20 on:** 31 Mar 2008, 08:02 »

I say she´d be the killer, if only for a surprising plot. I mean, no one would ever suspect her being the killer!
Besides, there are a lot of non-messy ways to kill someone.

Surgoshan · « **Reply #21 on:** 31 Mar 2008, 08:29 »

A stun gun, duct tape, and a plastic bag comes immediately to mind, but Hannelore could never own a pig farm.

JReynolds · « **Reply #22 on:** 31 Mar 2008, 09:02 »

Perhaps the Ellicott-Chatham Meat Pie and Barber Shop could go into business? She could be the manager and delegate the various "tasks" to her subordinates.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #23 on:** 31 Mar 2008, 10:32 »

Somehow I think our girl would be too much of a micro-manager to carry that off.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Poll

Well - the title pretty much tells you what the question is now doesn't it

Author Topic: Hanners - Final Girl or the Killer (Read 11438 times)

Alphalpha

kasuturo

Muskrat121

Muskrat121