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Author Topic: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.  (Read 42124 times)

Sox

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #50 on: 26 Mar 2008, 17:43 »

That has been my plan since the beginning, but I feel this entire post was so funny that it had to be posted twice.

I'm not attacking your "credibility", I'm just saying that I genuinely understand why people feel good about ganging up in a massive bitchfest because they think a thread is unneccessary.  I also think you're being a dick and getting away with it because you've been here a long time.

Apparently I have not been here long enough to be a dick and get away with it.


I too, have LOL'd.
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KharBevNor

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #51 on: 26 Mar 2008, 17:57 »

So wait, if one person doesn't like a thread, he's attacking you personally, if multiple people don't like it, it's a mob mentality.

Right.

The thing is, Zerodrone:

http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,14439.0.html
http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,3638.0.html
http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,12622.0.html
http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,16108.0.html
http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,18169.0.html

...and so on. And those are only the threads entirely devoted to bashing pitchfork.

I mean fucking hell man you started one of them yourself.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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Patrick

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #52 on: 26 Mar 2008, 18:21 »

I'm not attacking your "credibility"

(one sentence later...)

I also think you're being a dick and getting away with it because you've been here a long time.

Did you start the post at 11:55pm, and then 5 minutes later it became Opposite Day or something? Because that's the only way that post works.

And don't think for a second that I haven't been yelled at for being a dick before. If you have followed I Like HURRRRRRR at all for the last 3 days you may see a thread about AIDS where I have edited two of my posts. That's because I said something that was uncalled for and unfunny and really dickish, I got yelled at, realized my mistake, and edited it and then I shut the hell up and the discussion is back on topic and I've actually made half-decent contributions to it and it survives and goes on civilly to this day. Am I proud of the fact that I was an asshole? No. Am I ashamed of it? No, why be ashamed of something you learned from?

Take that example and compare it to what you've done here. You've started a thread about a subject for which there is a recorded history (thank you Khar) of people not wanting to talk about it because it has failed repeatedly in the past. That wasn't the big mistake, though. The big mistake was that instead of realizing that you have annoyed people, you just went on and dug yourself an exponentially deeper hole by just straight up saying "Just ignore it and stop being idiots" at people. That's rude, that has not worked for ME in the past, so why the fuck should it work for you?

It has nothing to do with a forum club of OMG ELITE MEMBARZ. Because there isn't one, and Tommy has demonstrated that. I respect the guy, but I'm not going to back him up if he does something I don't agree with. Believe me, if it were him instead of you, there would still be a discussion over it. The difference? Tommy has never once seriously treated me disrespectfully on the forums, even if I didn't realize it at the time (he doesn't sugarcoat anything for anybody). Right now, the tl;dr of what you're just saying is "Fuck you all, you're idiots," and you're disregarding everything anybody who disagrees with you has to say. That doesn't go over well anywhere, be it the floor of the U.S. Senate or the British House of Commons, a Mafia "discussion" room, or a forum on the internet.
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #53 on: 26 Mar 2008, 18:31 »

I mean fucking hell man you started one of them yourself.

Yes, and I think that one was actually one where I was trying to talk about the site in terms other than simply "They suck."  I was trying to have an actual dialogue about their tactics.

On any music forum, some things are going to come up over and over.  I seriously don't see the problem.  There are a lot stupider threads on the frontpage right now.

@ Patrick: You can be a dick and still be credible.  Just look at Steve Albini.

I just sincerely see no point in dumping all over a thread.  Tommy, MusicScribbles, Scandanavian, Kid van Pervert, several people have either expressed disinterest in the thread in a respectful way or added to it; you, and several others, have just been parroting the old BLUH BLUH WE DON'T NEED THIS THREAD garbage.

Tell a moderator to delete it, I won't mind.  I just think that whether you like this thread or not, it IS on topic for the forum and derailing it into an INTERNET FITE is unneccessary.  And I believe it was not me that started moving it in that direction, I believe it was a completely civil thread until you were a dick by posting:

Quote from: Patrick
Wait so you start the 3465457th thread on this same fucking topic, regarding how much Pitchfork sucks, giving one new reason as to why they suck, and saying how it's different from their normal amount of suck, and then you post a 5-year-old review that is pretty much the exact same thing, but older?

Dude just go outside.

If you can't see you were being a dick there, I don't know what to tell you.  The classic internet-argument trope "Just go outside" is always a dick move, and the tone of the first paragraph was confrontational and angry.  Again, dickish.

If I overreacted to the ensuing dickishness, that does not excuse the initial dickishness.
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Patrick

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #54 on: 26 Mar 2008, 18:46 »

Hey at least I made the thread interesting.

And if you can't tell that's a joke, I don't know what to tell you, because if you can't, I bet you can't tell your own ass from a dollar and a half.

Also a joke, in case you were wondering/too busy being butthurt
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #55 on: 26 Mar 2008, 18:58 »

Internet argument trope #23682437623: When someone responds to you in a considered and reasonable manner, dismiss all their points by making jokes and saying "Don't be all butthurt, dude."

Now just post the "Pretension" or "Arguing On the Internet" image macros and you will have officially nailed all the clichés you need for the Hat Trick.

 :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
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KharBevNor

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #56 on: 26 Mar 2008, 19:22 »

Dude, don't get butthurt.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
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Jimmy the Squid

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #57 on: 26 Mar 2008, 19:25 »

I love this thread.

So much.
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michaelicious

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #58 on: 26 Mar 2008, 19:29 »

:wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

I swear when I looked at all those at once it looked like some of them weren't winking, but then they were when I did a double take.

Heavy shit maaaan.
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McTaggart

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #59 on: 26 Mar 2008, 19:55 »

my haaands
theyre huuuuuge
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IronOxide

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #60 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:07 »

To contribute positively to this thread. I actually like Pitchfork! I don't so much appreciate their reviews, but I like that there's something out there that tells me what came out recently and gives some silly news and interviews about the music artists that I am often okay with! I think it's silly to go on there and say "Hey, pitchfork gave it a bad review, so I shouldn't give it a listen," it's more like. "hey pitchfork reviewed this so odds are it has been released!"

I'd like to think that my comment was related more to the fact that this thread comes about too often for such a mundane topic. Would people want to read a thread in which I said "I'm not too big on pre-Soft Bulletin Flaming Lips" or "I like Aeroplane more than On Avery Island". How about a "Hey The Beatles are pretty cool" thread? I personally wouldn't because the ground has been trodden upon to the point in which it had become packed down with the bootmarks of the many who came before me. Restating a moderately popular opinion without much new insight seems silly to me.

I don't mean to be a douchebag here. I'm trying to illustrate why I find every action you will ever take useless and silly.
That was a joke.
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michaelicious

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #61 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:15 »

duuuuuude. what if we all saw different colors, but like; we would never, know, ya see man? like, what I call orange you could see as blue but call orange. duuuuuuuuude.

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Caspian

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #62 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:18 »

Tom Ewing now writes for Pitchfork.  That is a good thing; his reviews are clever, well-written and insightful.  But that's not the point.

The point is that, after the bizarre thrashing they gave Maserati's excellent Inventions For the New Season last year (4.4?  Really?) today they solidify their backlash-loving pop-and-rap cockgobbling nature with a dismal 5.2 for Silver Mt. Zion's 13 Blues For Thirteen Moons, which is still my favourite album of the year and easily my favourite from said band - while at the same time, giving a mysterious pity 7.5 to the absolutely dire new Bauhaus album.


That's quite a generous mark. I would've given Blues for Thirteen Moons 3 or so.
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #63 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:19 »

Would people want to read a thread in which I said "I'm not too big on pre-Soft Bulletin Flaming Lips" or "I like Aeroplane more than On Avery Island". How about a "Hey The Beatles are pretty cool" thread?

Hold up there buster.  There are a lot of people who consider pre-Soft Bulletin to be the best Flaming Lips material, so I don't think that example fits with the others.

Also I like On Avery Island better too.

 :-(
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IronOxide

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #64 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:25 »

You see, that's my point. No matter whether people agree or disagree with me, it's a mundane topic because it is first: a matter of personal preference, which is fine to debate subjectively, as long as it hasn't been done countless times not only before, but recently, and frequently. Which this has.
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #65 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:38 »

The point being that new users do show up sometimes and thus it is justified to, every so often, bring up old topics for shits and giggles.

This is, after all, just entertainment, right?
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KharBevNor

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #66 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:43 »

The point being that you felt that it was worthwhile to make another fucking thread about Pitchfork because you, personally, have stopped reading it. This would be comparable to me having made a thread about Godspeed You! Black Emperor because I heard F#A# Infinity for the first time. Everyone agrees; no one cares.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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pilsner

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #67 on: 26 Mar 2008, 20:57 »

Tom Ewing now writes for coprophilia.  That is a good thing; his reviews are clever, well-written and insightful.  But that's not the point.

Quote from: zerodrone
It's that, as bad as we all thought coprophilia was a few years ago, it just keeps getting worse.

Quote from: DynamiteKid
Here's the four reasons I quit coprophilia

Quote from: amok
Someone post the Kid A and Jet reviews, they have to be in every coprophilia thread.

Quote from: Mister Arkadin
Other than that, coprophilia is shit.

Quote from: zerodrone
OK, you didn't say I was "stupid", but you singled me out.  Most people in the thread seem to be getting a kick out of bitching about coprophilia and sharing their examples.

Quote from: tommydski
Most people who read coprophilia just download albums anyway.

Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine
the only reason i've ever heard the word "coprophilia" used outside of farming is because of you guys.

Quote from: zerodrone
My life is the music scene.  Coprophilia is a part of the music scene.  Therefore coprophilia is, like it or not, a part of my life in at least a tangential sense.

I challenge you to take the position that this would not have been a better thread.  More word filters in 2008.
« Last Edit: 26 Mar 2008, 20:59 by pilsner »
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #68 on: 26 Mar 2008, 21:12 »

This would be comparable to me having made a thread about Godspeed You! Black Emperor because I heard F#A# Infinity for the first time.

The difference being I wouldn't post in that thread; I'd shrug and move on.
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Spluff

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #69 on: 26 Mar 2008, 21:15 »

Wait wait, slow down guys. You mean there isn't  an elite club we get to join?
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KharBevNor

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #70 on: 26 Mar 2008, 21:22 »

You would post in that thread about how some other post rock band was better.

Don't lie to yourself man.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #71 on: 26 Mar 2008, 21:27 »

I might do that, granted, but I wouldn't say the thread was unneccessary.
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E. Spaceman

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #72 on: 26 Mar 2008, 22:47 »

for reference, my post was an achewood joke, not specially directed to you.
n topic, though, i do think this thread is unnecessary but also harmless.


Today I was at work, listening to some inane hold music when i thought that probably a lot of people actually enjoyed it and i started thinking about my own taste in music. Specifically about how a lot of the stuff i like is really just a couiple chords repeated for 10 minutes.
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theoryC

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #73 on: 26 Mar 2008, 23:43 »

I enjoy Pitchfork.  I disagree with it 3/4ths of the time, but I still like reading their opinions.  And they've introduced me to a few good bands.  And in the event that I ever stop enjoying Pitchfork, they're only an internet site, so I could instantly cut myself off from it and never have to think of it again.

So yeah.  I fail to see the point in declaring your distaste for a web site.  A web site.  Shit, there's gotta be what?  At least a hundred of the durned things?

WriterofAllWrongs

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #74 on: 27 Mar 2008, 01:37 »

Then you just shouldn't have posted here.  You shouldn't have voiced any disapproval at a tired topic and just moved on.  See, now someone's gonna argue with you, and then someone will argue with them, and the circle will go on until it dies a natural death at 90, despite having been brain dead since 12.
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theoryC

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #75 on: 27 Mar 2008, 02:19 »

Fair enough.

Patrick

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #76 on: 27 Mar 2008, 03:21 »

I might do that, granted, but I wouldn't say the thread was unneccessary.

I am too lazy to find an example but I think this is such massive bullshit that it splits entire tectonic plates when it comes out the bull's ass and hits the ground.
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ImRonBurgundy?

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #77 on: 27 Mar 2008, 04:34 »

I challenge you to take the position that this would not have been a better thread.  More word filters in 2008.

I second that emotion.
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Thrillho

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #78 on: 27 Mar 2008, 10:17 »

Plus, I think that album does deserve a 9 or so.  Solid.

Eminem Show is my favourite of Eminem's records, but I've deliberately posted my reasons for dislking Pitchfork that are nothing to do with the ratings. I couldn't care less what their ratings are if they actually write a damn review and listen to the damn album. It's the fact that the review was an industrial-strength bag of wank.
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muteKi

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #79 on: 27 Mar 2008, 11:41 »

On the posted articles: It's like bad writing has become the new way of measuring how hard-core and indie you are.


well gess wut guyz i can be sedishus too

PHEER HOW INCREDIBLY INDIE I NOW HAVE BECOME!!!11!!!
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #80 on: 28 Mar 2008, 12:07 »

I must confess that my response is similar to Zerodrones--WTF?  And I don't like Pitchfork either.
I don't know if this thread is useless, but bitching about it seems to be.
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #81 on: 28 Mar 2008, 12:14 »

The point being that you felt that it was worthwhile to make another fucking thread about Pitchfork because you, personally, have stopped reading it. This would be comparable to me having made a thread about Godspeed You! Black Emperor because I heard F#A# Infinity for the first time. Everyone agrees; no one cares.

You know what we need? More threads about Slint.

sean

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #82 on: 28 Mar 2008, 12:48 »

Man, I always miss the fun threads. I swear...
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SeanBateman

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #83 on: 28 Mar 2008, 13:23 »

Pitchfork created the culture that you're claiming a place in through this very rejection of P4k
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Jackie Blue

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #84 on: 28 Mar 2008, 15:20 »

Pitchfork was around in the 70s and 80s?

You learn something new every day!

And I am not claiming a place in any culture anyway, except the nebulous "pop culture" which we are all in some way affected by whether we like it or not.
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KharBevNor

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #85 on: 28 Mar 2008, 15:34 »

Pitchfork created the culture that you're claiming a place in through this very rejection of P4k

I cannae understand what he's sayin' captain!

It dinnae make any sense!
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[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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Patrick

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #86 on: 28 Mar 2008, 16:37 »

I reject the rejection of rejecting rejection of rejecting the non-acceptance of lack of appreciation for Pitchfork.

If you don't agree with me then FUCK YOU
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SeanBateman

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #87 on: 28 Mar 2008, 17:00 »

It's cool guys a lot of people don't get "it"
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #88 on: 28 Mar 2008, 17:26 »

This is the Spiderland of threads.
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Patrick

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #89 on: 28 Mar 2008, 17:37 »

Hey get your own shitstorm
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MadassAlex

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #90 on: 29 Mar 2008, 17:58 »

This thread is a rad party to which actual people aren't invited, because it admittedly exists to lure muses (at least seven are named) out of Zerodrone's imagination and into his bedroom: "It's cool guys a lot of people don't get "it"/ This is the Spiderland of threads." He yelps that bit here on a, um, repeat performance of a track from the Fucking Rude album, which you will remember, because the next line is, "Hey get your own shitstorm." The vibe of this moment hews close to the one conveyed by Zerodrone forummate, hero, and fellow English-accent-faker Patrick on some unnamed shit,' "Threads About Slint" back in 1996: "You know what we need/ More threads about Slint." (Except, well, Tommy even hums seriously.)

In 1996, Tommy was where Zerodrone is today: facing a wrathful backlash because the thread's longevity had begun to work against the initial reasons for reader excitement-- what were once singular eccentricities now have become anticipatable. Through some kind of forum transference, the readership, having seen the magician do its favorite trick so many times, convinces itself that it has actually gone backstage. That most Zerodrone readers could likely pen and perform a decent Zerodrone spoof is the reason some now (via projection) accuse Patrick of parodying himself, just as folks used to act like they had Pollard's genius "figured out" because they could joke, "Alright kids, this one's called 'Logo Manchild Umbrage Saloon' off our new EP, Sanguine Flake Emperor! One, two, three, four--"

Mockery usually lacks its target's magic, though, and Tommy is pretty much an untouchable wizard. This thread succeeds despite itself, despite contemporary tastes, and despite the cynicism its grandiosity triggers in us breathing, farting pedestrian mortals. Anyway, one can't be embarrassed for Zerodrone re: this thread's hyperdramatic wince-worthy turns-- or an uptick in his nonsense-syllable scatting thing-- because he clearly does not care what we "think." He's so dedicated to his unbearable fringes that he sells them-- like the kid from junior high so unconcerned with cool that he had to settle for being totally fucking awesome.

Not that Zerodrone doesn't try to have it both ways: The risky, invested intensity of the delivery, leavened with the detachment of it not being so gauche as to specifically mean anything. What a performance the whole thread is. The textual inflections, the real words, the nonwords, the exclamation marks, the rhetoric, the idiocty, pseudo-politeness, soap-opera atmosphere, lulz, and Khar combine to create not so much a thread as a mockery. Mockery is another word, of course, for alcoholic beverage, and this thread is shitfaced, from the leery title's stash of bottles to the wine, sherry, drugs, drunkenness, and high-ness referenced inside. For all the thread's random flailing, the speaker lacks agency-- he wanders around not knowing what time it is in disbelief at intelligence levels. The most rousing, antic, and fun post  is about terror, covering up, self development, and waitress fatigue. The closing post, a coherent (for Zerodrone) character study about the ominous redemption of a "wasted" "boozing" Patrick who's "been fucking around," suggests a Zerodrone strutting and drinking his way onto some other troll's stage.


For a hopeful effort, though, some elements are missing. This thread might be Zerodrone's most pompous, profane, and pastoral thread, but it's also his least intelligent, rational, or linearly clever. Zerodrone denies readers old modes of dorksport: I caught only one pun, two snippets of others' rhetoric, and two references to threads. Plus his posts just sound like shit. And part of me buys the argument that this is the ego equivalent of Pitchfork, going through the motions of creating a informative website without allowing the audience a legitimate "in." At first read, the thread seemed long because something was running a little lean. I thought I'd gone from the enjoyable thrill of wondering what Zerodrone was talking about to the jaded position of not caring. But after multiple spins, I'm confusingly seduced by the vermouth-versus-absinthe reverie of its bullshit, pronouncements, and elliptical rhetoric. Here's a guy fussily throwing his whole soul into his camouflage.

I give this thread 7.7
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idiolect

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #91 on: 29 Mar 2008, 19:40 »

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karl gambolputty...

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #92 on: 29 Mar 2008, 22:27 »

Man whatever, I was posting stupid pictures in here before it got all trendy
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Valrus

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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #93 on: 29 Mar 2008, 23:28 »

MadassAlex, that post totally justified this thread's existence, and that is high praise indeed.
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #94 on: 30 Mar 2008, 04:47 »

"It's... BEAUTIFUL" pic plz
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #95 on: 30 Mar 2008, 14:37 »

That was fucking amazing, Alex.
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #96 on: 30 Mar 2008, 17:05 »

Rating "Do You Like Rock Music?" with an U.2 is just dumb. Fuckers.

It's official.  Pitchfork gives "Do You Like Rock Music?" a 21.2.

.rruH
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #97 on: 30 Mar 2008, 17:44 »

I kinda like how all you guys basically dislike Pitchfork because they have some more adventurously formatted reviews.

I dislike them because they have absolutely no taste.
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #98 on: 30 Mar 2008, 21:40 »

Adventurously? I can see how no grammar and no content makes it a lot more interesting reading a review!
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Re: Dear Pitchfork: I officially quit you.
« Reply #99 on: 30 Mar 2008, 21:49 »

I kinda like how all you guys basically dislike Pitchfork because they have some more adventurously formatted reviews.

I dislike them because they have absolutely no taste.
I dislike them because reading reviews can be pretty boring at times.  I like them because that Jet review was funny as hell.
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