Topic: A Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever (Read 20014 times)

Caspian · « **on:** 06 May 2008, 06:42 »

Here's the link for the song: http://blog.wired.com/music/files/KomarMelamid_The-Most-UnwantedSong.mp3

And here's some talk about it, worth reading for context.

Quote

You want postmodern? I'll give you postmodern.

So you wanna play rough, huh, Jonathan?

By way of the fabulous UBUWEB, I give you David Soldier's "American Most Unwanted Song." I actually own this CD.

An explanation: in the 1990s two Russian artists named Komar and Melamid did a kind of conceptual-art thing where they hired a market-research firm to determine the American public's likes and dislikes in art. As the project's pleasingly retro-90s* website explains,

In an age where opinion polls and market research invade almost every aspect of our "democratic/consumer" society (with the notable exception of art), Komar and Melamid's project poses relevant questions that an art-interested public, and society in general often fail to ask: What would art look like if it were to please the greatest number of people? Or conversely: What kind of culture is produced by a society that lives and governs itself by opinion polls?

The project expanded to include preference polling in several countries; you can find the raw data here and paintings here. America's most wanted painting has it all: an autumnal landscape with wild animals, a family enjoying the outdoors, the color blue, and George Washington.

Most700

The methodology Dave Soldier used to determine the most and least wanted songs is basically the same, though (it must be admitted) with a rather more desultory methodology. From a sample of 200 people, Soldier determined that

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and "elevator" music, and a children's choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commercials and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population would enjoy this piece.

To get the full lyrics you'll have to buy the CD, but the opening soprano rap is especially arresting: lyrics are simultaneously rap and cowboy-related, while the vocal line is atonal and the bass is provided by a tuba. Note the bagpipe breaks.

rynne · « **Reply #1 on:** 06 May 2008, 06:49 »

They did a Most Wanted Song as well: it was treacly smooth-rock crap (though Vernon Reid does a cool solo in it). I thought the point of this that the Most Wanted Song is completely insipid and awful, but the Most Unwanted Song is surprising and funny. It's impossible to listen to the latter without cracking a smile at some point.

Caspian · « **Reply #2 on:** 06 May 2008, 06:51 »

Well, the opera rapping was funny, but I had forgotten just how SHIT the tuba sounds. And children shouldn't be allowed to sing in songs.

Still, it does raise a smile, but 17 minutes into it I'm laughing less and less. I'm NOT going to let this song win, though.

Having said that, Nickelback's "Rockstar" is still a good deal more annoying.

MrSteevo · « **Reply #3 on:** 06 May 2008, 06:56 »

While this is annoying, I can see a sub-culture evolving from it. And I'm Scared.

De_El · « **Reply #4 on:** 06 May 2008, 17:49 »

I'm about 5 minutes in. So far the funniest part is the children singing about holidays and Walmart.

Edit: XD "Ramadan! / Ramadan! / Lots of praying with no breakfast! / Ramadan! / So much fun! / Do all your shopping - at Walmart!"

E. Spaceman · « **Reply #5 on:** 06 May 2008, 18:25 »

A Silver Mt Zion is the least wanted band?

3Z3VH · « **Reply #6 on:** 06 May 2008, 19:47 »

No, to this day, the most annoying song ever (and one that I still love to listen to) is Aphex Twin's "Ventolin."

Righard D. James has stated that the song was made to sound like the ringing sensation you get in your head from using a Ventolin Inhaler. Anyone who catches me listening to it always immediately exclaims their hatred for it after only a second or two of listening.

imapiratearg · « **Reply #7 on:** 06 May 2008, 19:53 »

I'm maybe a minute or two in, and I think this is totally awesome. Bagpipes are fuckin' hardcore.

EDIT - Halfway point, and it's starting to get repetitive, but it's still interesting. It's like the musical equivalent to a Jackson Pollock painting.

I don't understand why this song is so unwanted. Like, I can't believe that opera annoys a vast amount of people. It's beautiful. There are a lot of elements to this song that are very interesting!

EDIT EDIT - The last five minutes are pretty neat.

Tehz · « **Reply #8 on:** 06 May 2008, 20:02 »

Quote from: Caspian on 06 May 2008, 06:51

Having said that, Nickelback's "Rockstar" is still a good deal more annoying.

Oh my God, agreed so hard.

De_El · « **Reply #9 on:** 06 May 2008, 20:16 »

Quote from: 3Z3VH on 06 May 2008, 19:47

No, to this day, the most annoying song ever (and one that I still love to listen to) is Aphex Twin's "Ventolin."

I watched the video for this. Pretty fucking cool. I don't know think I would call it annoying per se, but it could definitely be used as a tool to annoy people unfamiliar with such music.

Caspian · « **Reply #10 on:** 06 May 2008, 20:35 »

Quote from: imapiratearg on 06 May 2008, 19:53

I'm maybe a minute or two in, and I think this is totally awesome. Bagpipes are fuckin' hardcore.

EDIT - Halfway point, and it's starting to get repetitive, but it's still interesting. It's like the musical equivalent to a Jackson Pollock painting.

I don't understand why this song is so unwanted. Like, I can't believe that opera annoys a vast amount of people. It's beautiful. There are a lot of elements to this song that are very interesting!

EDIT EDIT - The last five minutes are pretty neat.

Opera is horrible. Horrible! Also: admit that while it may be funny because it's bizarre, listening to this song with the same mindset that you judge normal music by wouldn't be too great.

imapiratearg · « **Reply #11 on:** 06 May 2008, 20:55 »

I don't know, I thought it was all pretty well done. Except for the kids singing. That was awful.

Ikrik · « **Reply #12 on:** 06 May 2008, 21:42 »

Honestly it doesn't irritate me as much as say...Ashley Simpson. The thing is...four minutes after listening to the entire thing I know that I'll never remember any part of it ever again...which is reassuring. I honestly don't understand what this song is meant to do for me.

pinkpiche · « **Reply #13 on:** 06 May 2008, 22:54 »

When you're a hardcore Fiery Furnaces fan, this seems like a walk down to the chemist..

Mister Arkadin · « **Reply #14 on:** 07 May 2008, 13:17 »

It kicked ass until those little kids started screeching. Bagpipes are rad.

amok · « **Reply #15 on:** 07 May 2008, 13:24 »

Sweet. I love bagpipes, accordions, synths and cowboy rap.

MusicScribbles · « **Reply #16 on:** 07 May 2008, 13:27 »

I think you are all mistaken.

rynne · « **Reply #17 on:** 07 May 2008, 13:30 »

Quote from: pinkpiche on 06 May 2008, 22:54

When you're a hardcore Fiery Furnaces fan, this seems like a walk down to the chemist..

Agreed. The only live show that's annoyed me more than the Fiery Furnaces was Dump, a.k.a. Yo La Tengo's James McNew.

minkles · « **Reply #18 on:** 07 May 2008, 14:29 »

Opera-Rap needs to become a legitimate musical genre immediately.

Johnny C · « **Reply #19 on:** 07 May 2008, 14:40 »

WHEN THE SOPRANO ISN'T RAPPING SHE CAN SING REALLY HIGH
AHHHHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY

Liz · « **Reply #20 on:** 07 May 2008, 20:47 »

I don't think any song can ever get more annoying than Gwen Stefani- "Sweet Escape"

I fucking HATE that song. So much.

RedLion · « **Reply #21 on:** 07 May 2008, 21:13 »

This actually made my night, particularly the opening soprano-rap part accompanied by Peter Brotzmann-esque music.

Amazing, in a terrible way.

RedLion · « **Reply #22 on:** 07 May 2008, 21:17 »

There surely must be a way to download this song. I am, however, far too lazy to search. Someone, get on it.

karl gambolputty... · « **Reply #23 on:** 07 May 2008, 21:26 »

File->Save Page As... should work.

pinkpiche · « **Reply #24 on:** 07 May 2008, 23:37 »

Quote from: Anyways on 07 May 2008, 01:41

Down a Straight Street

amirite

urrite

All though what I was really hinting at was HGttG

Christophe · « **Reply #25 on:** 08 May 2008, 01:21 »

I think that the dudes who put this together unwittingly pulled a Complete and created something that is oddly listenable, if only for pure comedic value or sheer force of audacity. I'm barely a fourth of a way through the song and I am absolutely rolling on floor, laughing off my ass off.

RedLion · « **Reply #26 on:** 08 May 2008, 10:20 »

Hmm. Can someone make out the lyrics of this song and type 'em up? I really have trouble making out the operatic soprano on many parts.

morca007 · « **Reply #27 on:** 08 May 2008, 15:19 »

Quote from: tender on 06 May 2008, 20:56

EDIT: D.A.N.C.E.

Out.

KvP · « **Reply #28 on:** 20 May 2008, 12:55 »

The most scientifically pleasing song ever!

Good lord, this is amazing.

Amazingly awful.

Funk Thompson · « **Reply #29 on:** 20 May 2008, 13:10 »

Quote from: Kid van Pervert on 20 May 2008, 12:55

The most scientifically pleasing song ever!

Good lord, this is amazing.

Amazingly awful.

Can't click it at work, but I'm imagining Rod Stewart meets that Yani guy from the description.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #30 on:** 20 May 2008, 13:44 »

god that is terrible.

now, The Most Unwanted Song on the other hand, is fucking brilliant.

GenericName · « **Reply #31 on:** 20 May 2008, 14:46 »

So far it kind of reminds me conceptually of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Funk Thompson · « **Reply #32 on:** 20 May 2008, 17:30 »

Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine on 20 May 2008, 13:44

god that is terrible.

now, The Most Unwanted Song on the other hand, is fucking brilliant.

Well, I am typing this while forcing myself to listen to the whole "most wanted" song first, in the hopes that the "most unwanted" will suitably cleanse the experience from my mind.... the lyrics are hysterical.... "As she fills the ketchup jar... maybe she likes reading richtenstein (or something)... could it be that she's exactly like me..." This is like Michael Bolton, Chef from South Park, and like Alicia Keys or someone collaborated with the keyboardist from some bad 80's band.

OK, now for the "Most Unwanted"... Holy cow, right into the oper-rap... with bagpipes. Nice. It is more like 4 songs they cycle between the verses of. Reminds me of "They Might Be Giants" thing on I believe Apollo 18 where they have some 30ish tracks of little 10 to 30 second mini-songs... Discordian. Not at all enjoyable, but I think I'd prefer that to the "most wanted."

JediBendu · « **Reply #33 on:** 21 May 2008, 02:17 »

I'm listening to this song now and the most unwanted song isn't even as jarring and bizarre as the first time I heard Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica. It's also fucking hilarious, the line where the kids sing about shopping at Wal-Mart makes me laugh so hard.

Edit: A part of me really thinks this song is rad. I haven't had the slightest urge to turn it off yet.

Divide by Zero · « **Reply #34 on:** 21 May 2008, 08:57 »

Best. Song. Efar.

Operap needs to become a genre NOW.

Red Peril · « **Reply #35 on:** 21 May 2008, 09:09 »

Most unwanted song might not be great in its entirety (I personally hate bagpipes as an easy Celtic cliche) but at least everyone can find something they want there. It felt kind of like listening to Joanna Newsom to me (Hate the voice, love the music).

De_El · « **Reply #36 on:** 21 May 2008, 22:11 »

The "most wanted song" reminds me of how the 80s and smooth jazz almost ruined the saxophone forever.

ThePQ4 · « **Reply #37 on:** 21 May 2008, 22:28 »

I dunno, maybe this is just a sign I watch to much TV..., but that's what I thought of when I first saw this thread...

As per the original link...I dunno, the first few minutes of that song at least are full of potential awesome... But I don't have 25 minutes to listen to the whole darn thing, I'm not sure if you can really call a "song" that fluctuates that much "1" song, you know?

RedLion · « **Reply #38 on:** 25 May 2008, 16:36 »

Re: Most Wanted Song Ever

Both Marvin Gaye and John Coltrane are rolling in their graves.

Jackie Blue · « **Reply #39 on:** 25 May 2008, 17:16 »

Merzbow already made the most annoying song ever.

Like 500 times over.

De_El · « **Reply #40 on:** 26 May 2008, 13:16 »

What, you don't like music that physically pains you?

Ikrik · « **Reply #41 on:** 26 May 2008, 14:53 »

I find the most Wanted song to be FAR FAR FAR more annoying than the most Unwanted song.........god it's horrible.

Divide by Zero · « **Reply #42 on:** 26 May 2008, 18:53 »

I wonder what would happen if we played the Most Wanted Song to one of the chattle out there in the real world who sings along to "Wind Beneath My Wings" whenever it comes on the LiteFM station he or she listens to?

I was at an awards dinner Thursday night where a PowerPoint was accompanied, unironically by "Wind Beneath My Wings". I wanted to shoot myself. Actually, I wanted to shoot whoever thought that song was a good idea.

But I'm glad I didn't, because now I can ask that depraved lunatic what he or she thinks of The Most Wanted Song.

Ã¶de · « **Reply #43 on:** 26 May 2008, 18:58 »

Quote from: zerodrone on 25 May 2008, 17:16

Merzbow already made the most annoying song ever.

Like 500 times over.

Fun fact: I accidentally listened to a few minutes of Merzbow because I thought I'd selected a different artist (that I hadn't listened to before). After a few minutes I started thinking I was listening to hell, after a few more I realised I'd made a huge mistake.

Jackie Blue · « **Reply #44 on:** 26 May 2008, 21:33 »

Quote from: Divide by Zero on 26 May 2008, 18:53

one of the chattle out there in the real world

Please stop being elitist.

It's kind of annoying.

Divide by Zero · « **Reply #45 on:** 27 May 2008, 08:17 »

Communicating an ironic tone through pure text is a difficult skill, one I have not yet fully mastered. My apologies.

Styles · « **Reply #46 on:** 01 Jun 2008, 15:13 »

For me, it's anything that simon cowell has had ANY influence in.
He's pretty much devastated the UK (& anywhere else he's brainwashed the masses) music as far as I'm concerned.

That should be a key variable in creating the most annoying song.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: A Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever (Read 20014 times)

Mister Arkadin

Red Peril

Styles