Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[diggitydug]

Dear fellow QC readers.

Todays comic has prompted me to end my long time lurking in the hopes to save some angst and trouble among all of you. Please understand that I am doing this for the good of the world.

Honey can NOT be used as a personal lubricant. For the following reasons:

1) Putting sugar in a warm dark place might be nice for your coffee, but not for your girlfriend. Er COMPLICATIONS will ensue with her personal health about 3-5 days later. For the sake of public decency this is all the detail I will give.
2) When used as a personal lubricant, honey tends to run into places that honey was never inteded to go. As most of these unintended places also (usually) have some level of hair. Cleanup is not a fun thing.
3) Lets all remember what we learned in physics class: Sticky + Friction = Bad

Thank you all for your time, and If I have kept the bee juce from one bedside table, I feel like my work here is done.

Thanks
 - The Management
   (not really)

[Lukahn]

Yeah, I came out of lurking for the same reason. High risk of yeast infection there.

Though I do think it's fairly safe to lick off of areas not near naughty bits.

[unoriginalcoffee]

With relevance to the unusual use of condiments...

Is the peanut butter thing true?!

This may save my life some day, or at least my hair (comes to the same thing). So speaks the chewing-gum magnet. Glurgh.

Yes, I probably could rename myself Raven for sheer gullibility. But thought I should check...!

[Lukahn]

Is the peanut butter thing true?!

Yeah, it is. Though it's just the peanut oil it that does it, you can use other oily stuff as well.

[quix0te]

Wow.  I logged into the forums just to clear up the honey thing too.  Wierd.
It causes yeast infections. Bad news.

[karl gambolputty...]

A yeast infection sounds like just punishment for taking sex advice from a fictional talking robot in an online comic. 

[Barmymoo]

I lol'ed anyway.

You guys all seriously signed up to warn people about yeast infections? You're all so caring; are you doctors?

Also, I heard freezing gum made it easier to remove, but I guess this doesn't work when it's on your head (unless you want to sit in a freezer I guess).

[Mars]

All these folk coming out of lurk to gainsay honey as a personal lubricant has prompted me to come out of lurk to point out it was a frikkin' joke.

Anyone who takes sex advice from Pintsize deserves whatever consequences befall them.

I have no idea if these people are sincere. I would like to think no. Is it naive to believe that other people could not possibly be so naive? Confusing stuff.

[C Patrick Carolan]

Also, I heard freezing gum made it easier to remove, but I guess this doesn't work when it's on your head (unless you want to sit in a freezer I guess).

You can use an ice cube or coldpack to freeze the gum if it's in your hair.

But yeah, oils like what you'll find in peanut butter are usually better anyway.

[est]

Who the hell thinks honey could possibly be a good lubricant?  Wasn't it obvious that it was a joke?

[Surgoshan]

Anyone who describes something as "foolproof" has clearly underestimated the ingenuity of the average fool.

[SilentJ]

Who the hell thinks honey could possibly be a good lubricant?  Wasn't it obvious that it was a joke?

See, this is what happens when you put your faith in the internet.

[snalin]

Who the hell thinks honey could possibly be a good lubricant?  Wasn't it obvious that it was a joke?

Well, I guess the idea is that it tastes good... And since certain things can get a bit sweaty and not good-tasting then...

If you get my point.

[ThePQ4]

...Honestly, I am hoping that everyone is smart enough to know better then to do such a thing.
And if they aren't, then frankly they probably deserve the discomfort coming to them.

[Lukahn]

If you think people are smart enough to know not to do this, then you're giving them too much credit. Just read the weekly comic thread on it.

[Thaes]

And now, thanks to certain kind of people having read QC, every jar of honey must include the warning: "Not to be used as lubricant"...

Sadly, that ain´t even the worst sexual warning a product can have.

[Border Reiver]

Perhaps we should also attach that warning label to glue - just in case.

[danjc2]

anybody who falls for the honey in the short and curleys HAS to deserve it... honestly, honey as a sexual lubricant? that's like using gardening tools for surgery - messy, clumsy and going to be painful.

Now, a couple of other substances would be interesting. could you use cream? that'd be interesting...

[Bridgebrain]

cream has sugar in it. Same rule applys as honey.

[snalin]

What, the lactose? Because the average from-fat-milk whipped cream dosen't have any other kinds of sugar than that.

[irishguy]

I think I find the concerned responses on the forums almost funnier than Pintsize's comment. Yes, advice from a fictional deranged robot in a webcomic (great as it is).

[Bridgebrain]

What, the lactose? Because the average from-fat-milk whipped cream dosen't have any other kinds of sugar than that.

Yup, thats what I was referring to. Lactose sugar's a sugar still

[ThePQ4]

If you think people are smart enough to know not to do this, then you're giving them too much credit. Just read the weekly comic thread on it.

...The WCT is not the best place to look for "smart people".
No offense to anyone, but seriously...

[SilentJ]

Perhaps we should also attach that warning label to glue - just in case.

in b4 best joke ever

[Is it cold in here?]

Reminds me of the lubricant scene from Spider Robinson's _Night of Power_. Someone who richly deserved what was about to happen to him told a 13-year-old he was going to rape her. She said she didn't want to chafe him by being too tight and that he was welcome to use this tube of lube in her purse. He applied it to himself with both hands, not realizing until a moment too late that what she had handed him was not in fact lube, but was instead a tube of superglue.

[Electrified Sprinkles]

Dear fellow QC readers.

Todays comic has prompted me to end my long time lurking in the hopes to save some angst and trouble among all of you. Please understand that I am doing this for the good of the world.

Honey can NOT be used as a personal lubricant. For the following reasons:

1) Putting sugar in a warm dark place might be nice for your coffee, but not for your girlfriend. Er COMPLICATIONS will ensue with her personal health about 3-5 days later. For the sake of public decency this is all the detail I will give.
2) When used as a personal lubricant, honey tends to run into places that honey was never inteded to go. As most of these unintended places also (usually) have some level of hair. Cleanup is not a fun thing.
3) Lets all remember what we learned in physics class: Sticky + Friction = Bad

Thank you all for your time, and If I have kept the bee juce from one bedside table, I feel like my work here is done.

Thanks
 - The Management
   (not really)

Thats it. You just solved my problem of whether I should take Statistics or Physics next year.
Looks like Physics wins.

[GenericName]

Shit, and here I am taking Chemistry next year.


But dudes, do you really think Pintsize would be talking about vaginal lubrication? I see an obvious flaw there...

[catbhn21]

Yeah, honey is perfectly good lubricant for a chocolate cake mix eating robot!

[SleeperCylon]

This thread is making me think of that scene in House with the strawberry jelly.