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Author Topic: Body/Self Image  (Read 39490 times)

Eris

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Body/Self Image
« on: 13 May 2008, 03:09 »

After reading an old thread about this topic, and having some conversations about it on gabbly, I thought it would be interesting to see what other people thought about the topic of self image, or body image. The other thread was about negative self image, but I was wondering what people thought about themselves (or for people who posted in the original thread, have your opinions about yourself changed over the years?)

I have generally had a positive image of myself. My parents always told me I was "the right size for me", and that has stuck with me over the years. It especially helps when people think (or just assume) I am anorexic. Generally I am happy with what I got; I could have gotten my grandfather's cauliflower ears, my Dad's nose, red hair (from either side of my family) and a less handy metabolism. But I didn't, and for that I am glad. I could have been an ugly person if luck wasn't on my side.

That being said, on bad days I hate everything about myself. I am short, have sticky-out ears, have dodgy eyes, dodgy lungs, a dodgy back, am a klutz and always seem to say the wrong thing. There are people out there who are prettier, funnier and more interesting than I am, so I should just hide in my room and no one will really notice.

I guess that means that some things haven't changed from when I posted a reply two years ago about this topic. I am still denying that I am pretty, but I guess now I have someone who likes to remind me that I am being silly and that I am gorgeous. This helps; maybe one day I will really believe it without having to be reminded!

So yeah, do you have a good self image? Do you think you are going to break mirrors if you look in them? Are there bits of yourself that you do not like, but really aren't that noticeable? Anything you like about yourself?
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #1 on: 13 May 2008, 03:28 »

I have always been that weird kind of nerdy looking girl!  And I used to be full of horrible horrible self loathing.

But you know, once a boy actually shows some form of actual interest in you it helps alot!  now I have a way better body image than I used to, and loxley can tell me my butt is big all he likes, I'm still not going to do anything about it!  I wish I had bigger boobs, but other than that, I get along ok with what I've got!
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #2 on: 13 May 2008, 03:37 »

I have realistic image of myself, I'm fat. I always have been and still am. I used to get bullied for it and some of the more childish people I still know poke me for it. Sure I've lost weight and I know alot of other people who are far fatter than I but I'm still fat. Thunder thieghs, flabby arse, flab abs and a gut. It shows in my face as well.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #3 on: 13 May 2008, 03:54 »

See this is one of the things that I really love and hate to talk about.

As I said in the old thread, growing up I was the Ugly One, and because of that I am incredibly socially awkward and have a tough time believing that people actually like me and possibly find me attractive and aren't just paying me attention so that they can pick on me, or that they aren't staring at me because I'm hideous.

Over the years my use of the Internet and making online friends has straightened me out a little bit, but I'm still sort of distrustful of Internet People's opinions of my appearance because the nature of the Internet means I only have to show them pictures of me where I'm looking good.

Lately, however, I seem to be really blossoming (for lack of a better word). After my Flickr group's recommendations, I have taken up amateur modeling, and the other day I even spent a couple of hours talking to A Very Cute Boy At A Party without feeling self-conscious!



Oh, and before anyone else gets in:



I think this is a really very nice picture of me at highschool (my skin was skin-coloured rather than red, my hair wasn't hacked off to two inches, my eyebrows seem to have been plucked), I was supremely happy when I got the photos in. (I can't show you any of the others because they are actually all destroyed, except for a very very small one in a frame at my Grandmother's house.) However when I scanned the picture to show to one of my Internet Boyfriends at the time, he basically told me I was hideous and didn't speak to me ever again.

I still think it's a nice picture.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #4 on: 13 May 2008, 04:14 »

I have pretty much always had an incredibly negative self image, sometimes to an extreme extent.
However, a few weeks ago I performed semi-naked in a Pagan fire festival in front of 8000 people. That was really, really liberating, and has made me an awful lot more comfortable with my body. It was a really good experience. There are even photos of it on the internet and I don't want to cry myself to sleep over them.

But I think so many people are beautiful. And I wish appearance wasn't made out to be this huge deal because whoever you are, whatever you look like, someone will think you're beautiful.

...but tomorrow a guy I've been sleeping with for months is coming back from holiday and I imagine he will undo all my good work and positive mindset.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 04:21 by ailsa »
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Jimmy the Squid

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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #5 on: 13 May 2008, 04:43 »

I like to think I am realistic about my body. I'm pretty overweight at about 105kgs and roughly 5'11. All in all I'm pretty uncomfortable with how I look which is why I'm generally wearing big coats or loose clothing so it isn't all that noticeable. It's also why I wear a lot of black (that and I like it). On the other hand I have pretty rockin' lips, nice enough eyebrows, I have a nice wink and I'm pretty proud of my arse. I'd like to lose some weight and I keep telling myself that I'll do it but I am very very very lazy. I sometimes wish I lived in the 1920s because I would have been fucking handsome because the style then was dudes who looked like me. Maybe if I can psych myself up properly I can join the gym over winter and trim down and tone up a little bit.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 04:46 by Jimmy the Squid »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #6 on: 13 May 2008, 05:52 »

I'm mostly alright with myself.  I could afford to lose 30 pounds.  I also have a tendency to get lost in thought sometimes.  Like, I'll kind of forget what I'm doing for 15 minutes.  Not daydreaming, because that implies fantasizing.  I just think too hard to do anything else for a little bit.  I do like my hair a lot, as long as it's clean.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #7 on: 13 May 2008, 05:55 »

I am unpleasantly skinny. I don't BS myself about it, though. And I've gained like 15 pounds (like 6-7 kilos?) over the last two weeks. It is a real effort to gain and keep weight like that, so I'm proud of myself!

What I do like about being this skinny is the fact that I am superfuckingfast on my feet. 5km in 22 minutes didn't wind me last summer when I was at my heaviest (135lbs, it was GREAT, I looked superfine).
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #8 on: 13 May 2008, 05:58 »

I feel like I would be more attractive if I didn't have all these fucking ticks on me.  I woke up this morning and pulled another one off, but the bite is all black and painful.  I'm pretty sure I have Lyme disease now.  Is this because I live in a log cabin, or sleep in a pile of animals?

Yup, I'd be so hot if it weren't for all the ticks.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #9 on: 13 May 2008, 06:23 »

This is an interesting one for me. The irony is that people who are really critical of their appearance are ultimately thinking about it more than someone who is genuinely comfortable with it. That's definitely true of myself. I hate every single part of me but as a result I'm always looking at myself in shiny surfaces but I'm not thinking how good I look, I'm just focused on all the horrible points. Of which there are oh so many that it's not worth getting into.

However, as I mentioned in the previous thread, it's never been a problem for me. With regards to appearance, it doesn't seem to matter to an overwhelming majority of women that I have been involved with. Otherwise I'd probably be plagued by insecurity and self doubt because I genuinely hate my appearance. It's not like I have ever sat around thinking about why the opposite sex doesn't like me because historically, I can get any girl I want. It's just never been an issue. I'm usually coy about why women find me attractive but that's actually bullshit. It's part of the act. I know exactly why and I exploit it all the time to my advantage. You use what you've got right? I'm not good looking but I'm pretty sharp when it comes to seduction.

One thing I know to be true from my tremendous sluttery is that there is someone out there that finds even your worst features to be attractive. If you think your butt is too big, there are literally millions of guys (and presumably girls) out there who think that's sexy as hell. It's the same with traits that have a physical aspect. Clumsiness can be endearing or amusing. These are all things to bear in mind.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #10 on: 13 May 2008, 06:25 »

Aminal, I have no idea what you're talking about, ticks on girls are hot.

I'm very small. I could probably perch on your shoulder like a parrot. And I dress terribly, as I can't afford nice clothes. I can't grow a beard, this is a huge deal to me. I spend maybe 90% of my time thinking about how disappointed I am that I can't grow a beard.
Other than these minor things, I'm really happy with my body. I benefit really quickly from a good diet and exercise, I think I look pretty great without clothes on. The only thing I could improve on, realistically, is my skin, by taking better care of it and waiting for various scars to fade. That said, I don't have a problem with scars either, of which I have many. I see a lot of people who cover scars up with clothing and accessories, but I have never felt compelled to do that. I think maybe those people have negative self image.

I grew up believing that I was a terrible person and incredibly selfish, so I overcompensated by being as generous and polite as I could, often at great expense to myself. This is because unfortunately, the vast majority of adults I met in my childhood years and adolescence were angry, bitter and resentful people who had no idea how to speak to young people. You have to treat everybody with respect, but you especially have to be respectful of young people who are still developing. The kids were assholes too, but I hold the adults responsible for that.
This is where my negative self image comes from and I spend far too much time obsessing about how I can be the perfect person I think everybody wants me to be, instead of trying to get comfortable with the person I actually am. That said, I've been wondering the sort of person I am, and I'm starting to think I might be one of those unreliable people that you don't really want to know, which lends even more to the negative self image.
This is all stuff I've really only started to become aware of in the last few months. 

I am really really awkward, it shows in person.

On a totally unrelated noted, I am going to start the "Mile Hifi Club". It's where you take a hifi onto a plane and blast music out of it in the toilet.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 06:27 by Sox »
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clockworkjames

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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #11 on: 13 May 2008, 06:31 »

I hate my cheekbones, loads of people say it is a nice feature on me but I think it makes me look like a smackhead. Perhaps not helped by the fact that I am 6'4 and about 155lbs.
Looking at my dad (5'10" and ~200lbs) I know I will fill out soon enough so I will be happy but until then I suppose I could have something more to worry about that skin that is not perfect.

I wasn't always popular as a kid so I am thick skinned which is good because my old boss said I looked like an aids-ed up junkie rentboy. Which I am not.

Oh and I am going grey at age 19 just like my dad did. Thanks man, would be better if my hair wasn't otherwise super dark brown.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 06:34 by clockworkjames »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #12 on: 13 May 2008, 06:54 »

Am I the only one that thinks having grey hair at a young age makes you look like a super badass?

No. I like grey hair. :) (When I'm old, mine will either be silver or completely white and it will be awesome and I will chase children with a cane and call them whippersnappers.)

I've only really become comfortable with myself in the past few years. I'm taller than most girls (and boys, sometimes), I'm chubby, I'm extremely awkward and bump into things all the time, and I bruise and scar easily. But really, I'm quite happy with my body. It's curvy, though I am chubby, I'm still healthy, my skin has improved greatly since high school, so I like my complexion more. Also, it's nice being tall, because this prevented people in high school from picking on me too much and I always have a great view at concerts. And if I'm anything like my mom, I will stay relatively young looking until my 30s, which will rock.

But yes, my metabolism sucks, so I've been exercising more and trying to eat better. I know I'll never be skinny (no woman in my family is skinny, we're all thick), but I know I can get myself to a point so I don't have to worry about it in the long run. Also, I've been breaking out of my tomboyish exterior in the past few years and wearing more feminine clothing, which helps a lot.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 06:56 by Linds »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #13 on: 13 May 2008, 07:04 »

I am a goddamn sexual tyrannosaur.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #14 on: 13 May 2008, 07:08 »

Grey hair is ace. When I was younger I badly wanted to dye my hair perfectly white.

I generally regard my body as an unpleasant adversary. I used to be a fat kid (a fact nobody believes now I'm a scrawny vegan emo bastard) and therefore wore very baggy clothing, even after I lost weight. It might have been the nineties and that gave me an excuse, but baggy clothes are a terrible idea if you're big or skinny. They accentuate it just as much if not more than tight clothing, so that didn't help with having a sensible idea of my own body. These days I have no idea what I look like. Or rather, I do have an idea but I'm also aware that I have a sideshow quality mind and therefore I am not to be trusted on such matters. This leads me to place an unfortunate amount of stock in what other people say about my appearance. Not an ideal situation by any means but they're probably more reliable than I am.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #15 on: 13 May 2008, 07:15 »

I've had a lot of trouble coming to terms with how I look over the years. Being on the recieving end of a lot of bullying made it all the more difficult, but I already went over this in the last incarnation of this thread. Over the past year, not much has changed physique-wise, but I've definitely become a lot more confident as a person, and really have given up with caring about how I look, just trying to make the most of what I have, which is always my boobs. I'm always going to be very body-conscious, but I tend to push it to the back of my mind and just get on with my life. I figure, if I want to wear a dress or a bikini, I shouldn't stop myself because I'm worried that people are going to be as vicious to me as they used to be, so I'll wear that dress, those heels, that swimsuit, whatever. So regardless of the fact that I still can't lose weight, I'm still a lot bigger than I'd really like to be, and that sometimes finding clothes I like that fit is a real mission, I'm in a much better place than I was. I'm relying on my personality to meet girls, like always, but to be honest no matter how I look, my personality will always be better in my eyes. I'm quite proud of who I am on the inside.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #16 on: 13 May 2008, 07:18 »

I have a fairly up-and-down relationship with my body. I mean, I realize I am an attractive person, but it's not a fact I dwell on. Occasionally I do muse on how suddenly I changed between highschool and college. There are plenty of flaws of course, my main hangups being 1) I'm way too skinny, 2) my nosehairs often protrude, and 3) my breath stinks if I haven't brushed in a while.

My main body issues lately are health things (what do you expect, I'm an old man.) Like, for the past couple weeks I've become keenly aware of how out of shape I am, and am planning to start swimming regularly again soon. It's funny, people see how skinny I am and assume that means I exercise a lot, but in fact my body is slowly wasting away.

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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #17 on: 13 May 2008, 07:20 »

I am impossibly sexy.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #18 on: 13 May 2008, 07:23 »

Kudos to this thread. This is the first thread in like a week I've wanted anything to do with (Between a Pokemon thread and three birthday threads, one made my the birthday boy?). This is the first thread created this month where I didn't skip over anyone's replies either!

Anyways, I am of the overcompensating variety. Growing up, I was never comfortable in my own skin. I was short (I was 4'11" the summer before going into Freshman year at fourteen), socially awkard (Read: Star Wars nerd, comic nerd, video game nerd, etc) and not at all a looker (I just didn't know what to do with myself, nor did I particularly care, as I was socially awkward).

Fortunately, society bent to my whims and High School was advantageous. I sprouted from 4'11" to about 5'8" by the end of my Freshman year (Bringing me from third shortest in my class to one of the ten tallest) and, inexplicably, the nerd chic movement developed around my sophomore year. Suddenly, comics and video games and Star Wars weren't nerdy, it was "alternative." This moved me from the "loser" caste to the "punks, goths and miscellanea" caste. Actually having friends did a good bit for my self image, but I was still incredibly self conscious. I knew people liked me, and that did wonders for my personality and sense of self, but my self esteem and body image were still absolute shit. I was skinny as a rail (5'10" and about 120-130 lbs), had hair down past my shoulders and unable to grow facial hair in any non-awkward manner. I was popular with girls, but only as a friend (To the best of my knowledge. To this day, I cannot read women at all), so not being able to attract women in a non platonic sense didn't help my self esteem. On the other hand, actually having people who went out of their way to talk to me forced me to actually give a flying fuck about what I looked like. Putting in an effort helped a lot.

Jodie nails it, though: The best way of increasing one's self esteem is to actually have someone you're attracted to become into you. I went on all of like three or four dates before I was seventeen and the only two times I'd ever been told I was hot was by the cousin of a girl I had a crush on from like 14 to 17 and a girl who lived like two hours away). When I was about sixteen, I started to get into the whole internet thing and that helped. Unlike lunchy, however, I took what compliments I got seriously. I took the most complimented features and accentuated those while trying to draw away from the more criticized ones (Which I still do to this day). To anyone who's still in that awkward phase, I recommend this. Everyone's got good and bad features. The secret is to enhance those good features so much that people don't notice the bad. I have incredibly skinny wrists and my nose is actually slightly bent/crooked and my ears are big. Fortunately, I have nice eyes, a prominent chin/jawline and broad shoulders, so all that draws away if I dress and groom myself to accentuate those details. If you have a nice smile, laugh a lot, if you're too skinny, spend a full day trying on clothes that make skinny look good on you. It's really quite easy.

Nowadays, my self consciousness is fully behind me. I still think my wrists are too skinny, but wearing a watch and a bracelet draws away from that easily enough, so I don't really dwell on it. All that egotistical behavior of mine, much of it is actually how I feel. Given, I don't think I'm god's gift to the human race or anything, but I AM of the mind I'm quite attractive. It's like Tommy said, it's all about playing to your strengths.

(Christ, six responses while I typed that?)

Edit: P.S.: My metabolism is awesome. At last weigh in, I'm at 162, which is about the heaviest I've ever been. You should see the kind of crap I eat, too.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 07:26 by 0bsessions »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #19 on: 13 May 2008, 07:39 »

I was absolutely hideous growing up.  I am somewhat of a late bloomer and come into my own over the last few years and while I wouldn't necessarily call myself pretty, other people have and I tend to believe that they mean it, rather than write it off as them just being nice.  I have my moments where I will look in the mirror and cringe, but for the most part I'm pleased with what I have (nice eyes, dimples, nice teeth and, while I am fat, I am proportionate so I have some kickin' curves) and work on fixing what I don't like - if I can - and if I can't I try to make peace with it.  Like Tommy said, there are going to be things about yourself that you absolutely hate that other people will love you for having.  Just roll with it! 
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #20 on: 13 May 2008, 08:27 »

I´ve become very sensitive and unhappy about the way I look lately. Well, not the way I look in general, but certain small parts, which, ironically, are nowhere to be seen in normal conditions (namely my legs and my stomach). I guess it has something to do with me moving to another city in the summer and wanting as many people to like me as possible (I might have slight issues with that).
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #21 on: 13 May 2008, 08:32 »

Growing up I was the Uncool One, and because of that I am incredibly socially awkward and have a tough time believing that people actually like me and possibly find me attractive or that they aren't staring at me because I'm weird and/or creepy.

It was a weird revelation that occurred over, I guess, the past three years or so, that in fact, I'm not a bad looking dude, and that having grown a bit and been in this environment, my odd traits are actually really neat. I work at a job with some really hip people, and by virtue of this job pretty much everyone on campus thinks I'm cool. Because of my baking and knitting, every girl says I'm a catch. Because of my crazy projects, people think I'm weird in a good way.

I guess I've gotten over thinking I'm intrinsically ugly or anything, but I really would like to have less of a tummy and more muscles. People have shown interest in me, this is good, but doubt and negative self-image are probably the main reason at least one thing with a lady didn't work out. That shit is really unattractive.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #22 on: 13 May 2008, 09:15 »

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I'm not surprised the first "I am jealous of Jon" post was in the first page of the thread.

I give you the same advice I once gave Darryl: Life is worth living!
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #23 on: 13 May 2008, 09:38 »

I still routinely play that message to myself sometimes. Several people recorded some really great clips.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #24 on: 13 May 2008, 10:17 »

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I'm not surprised the first "I am jealous of Jon" post was in the first page of the thread.

To be fair, the first 'I'd sooner be Joseph Merrick than look like Jon' post is also on the first page.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #25 on: 13 May 2008, 10:18 »

I'd sooner be Joseph Merrick than look like Jon.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #26 on: 13 May 2008, 10:19 »

I'd sooner be Joseph Merrick than look like Jon, because looking as good as Jon wouldn't suit my horribly benign personality.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #27 on: 13 May 2008, 11:26 »

there are about a million things i really dislike about my appearance. when i was a lot younger and growing up with a mother who was kind of insane and liked to put me down in order to feel better about herself this kind of fucked with me a lot. everyone wants to respond to people with low self esteem regarding their appearance by saying things like "oh but you're so pretty!" and they don't really seem to realize that for a lot of these people being attractive to someone else isn't the same thing as being attractive to yourself.

my story has kind of a weird ending because i think i like myself pretty okay and i am almost always successful with boys but i still think i am not really all that attractive. the main reason i'm okay with it now is because i got exposure to all kinds of wacky feminist ideas shortly after moving to guelph and came to the happy conclusion that how i look doesn't really matter. it's strange because lots of people see not being shallow as the ideal but i really genuinely am not and it constantly makes me come across to others as arrogant. i just don't place importance on appearance. when it comes to myself i can settle for being in shape and well groomed. if i became less smart or less hilarious that would definitely be a lot more devastating than becoming less attractive physically.
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 11:28 by ephemere »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #28 on: 13 May 2008, 11:55 »

...Then I went to college (Universityyyy) and after three years, I have figured things out, such as: even though I still think I am a fatty mcfatterson, I am pretty hot! I have a great rack and a great butt and even though my tummy is too big, no one else cares but me! I wear clothes that fit me and accentuate the positives I do have and man, everyone has flaws and most people hate something about themselves. Yeah, I have a double chin and because of it, I can do a better Meatloaf impersonation than you! Yeah, my cheeks are way chubby, and they make me look cuter. I found my niche, I found friends who truly care about me, and I hang out with a lot of hot dudes (and ladies!) who obviously don't think I suck, either.

I still basically think the same. I think people continue to focus on flaws that no one else will notice and/or care about. I do like Jon said- accentuate the positives and the negatives will be way less noticeable.

Plus most of the people I hang out with and actually want to like me appreciate a little awkwardness because it's cute.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #29 on: 13 May 2008, 12:12 »

if i became less smart or less hilarious that would definitely be a lot more devastating than becoming less attractive physically.

Well jeez, then I'm not quite sure how to break this to you.

(<3 tania)
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #30 on: 13 May 2008, 12:30 »

I think in terms of self-improvement I agree with Tania.  I would rather accentuate aspects of my personality/intelligence than my physical shortcomings, which aren't all that bad to begin with.  I personally despise the girls I know who try to 'sex it up' instead of stopping their ridiculous histrionics.  Wearing a thong/tight clothing does not make up for the fact that you are a horrible person (this is geared towards one particular person, if you couldn't tell, although it applies to other women I know, without the vitriol).
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Liz

Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #31 on: 13 May 2008, 12:35 »

My self image is pretty horrible. Looks wise I think I'm okay. I would say I'm kinda cute and not really ugly, but I also don't think I'm really that pretty. I like my curly hair but I haven't been able to find a cut that's really flattering. It gets frizzy all the time and I really hate it when it's like that. My teeth are not as nice as they could be, mainly because I always forget to brush so it happens about once a day. They're also generally straight but there's one that grew in before the old tooth had fallen out, so it sits really far back. Whenever I am in a picture I tend to tilt my head slightly to the left to cover it up a bit.

I also have extremely pale skin like Jens. Pale to the point that sometimes even the lightest makeup available is too dark. I get sunburned easily, which fades to a tan, but that never lasts. One week after I got back from a vacation in Mexico it looked like I hadn't left Minnesota. My skin is still quite acne prone, mostly on my face, but I get acne on my back and shoulders on occasion, I also have a lot of moles everywhere. For example, my left forearm alone has over 20. I'm not really self-conscious about them but sometimes I wish I didn't have so many.

Then there's my body. I am overweight by 20 pounds or so, considering my height. I'm only 5'3" or 5'4" and I fluctuate between 145-155 pounds. I know that I'm not obese or anything, but I pretty much carry the extra weight in my stomach and thighs, and I'm not comfortable with that. My arms a little thicker than I like, but it's not anything I'm self-conscious about. I do really like my lower legs, since I wear heels enough to keep them toned well. My feet are little and cute, which is nice, and I've been told by several people that I have really beautiful hands so I'll always have that to consider.

Overall, I can look at my body and see it either positively or negatively. When I consider everything I see as a flaw, things get pretty sad, but sometimes I can look at myself and say "I like my hair color" or "My eyes are pretty" and not feel like total crap. And that is pretty much it.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #32 on: 13 May 2008, 12:53 »

Some days my hair won't fall just the way I want it to so I wear a hat instead.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #33 on: 13 May 2008, 13:23 »

that's what i did today! i have very poofy hair, and looking like a mad scientist isn't always in my best interest so sometimes i wear a hat. like today. today i am pretending to be a Greek Fisherman.

as for how i feel about myself; well, i feel pretty good about it most of the time. i mean, sure i smoke so my breath is probably terrible all the time and my teeth are decreasingly white as time goes on but i'm very average looking, i think. i pride myself on being able to disappear into any crowd and move ghost-like through crowded supermarket isles without getting noticed too much.

the one thing i've noticed lately is that my increasingly sedantary lifestyle has caused me to gain weight which sort of bothers me because i've spent my entire life being skinny...i mean, Patrick skinny...so being normal weight (for my height) makes me feel like a fatass but that's a matter of perspective and i know it's not true so i don't stress it.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #34 on: 13 May 2008, 13:32 »

Haha Patrick is a unit of skinniness now?

I used to worry all the time about what I look like, and sometimes it still bugs me that most of my clothes are unflattering/slutty/both (slutty mostly because they're now too small by quite a lot, and I can't afford new ones). But when I'm feeling low about my appearance I wear something completely unsuitable and feel really confident, because I know that the weirder I look, the more people will think "she must be trying to make a statement". Also it feels like a little rebellion against people's opinions.

And I love my hair, it's suddenly become tamed and pretty and I'm really fond of it. It's completely nothing to do with anything I've done but I'm very glad of it.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #35 on: 13 May 2008, 13:45 »

Of course he is, look at those legs:



I can see a vein from here!
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Ozymandias

Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #36 on: 13 May 2008, 13:50 »

I masturbate constantly to Patrick's pictures.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #37 on: 13 May 2008, 13:53 »

there's a body image for ya!

*shudder*
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #38 on: 13 May 2008, 14:29 »

I am a pretty vain motherfucker, in my head. I love my body and my hair, as well as my wrists, nails, chest, and I'm ok with my face most days. This is a recent development, as I was a fairly late bloomer and stayed a yardstick with a giant bobble-head and teeth too big for my face until my freshman year of high school when I finally started filling out. I mean, I never got picked on for my appearance, and always had enough friends despite being a giant nerdy bookworm that my self esteem was fine, but I certainly did not like what I looked like. 12-15 were awkward horrible body years.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #39 on: 13 May 2008, 14:31 »

An interesting topic for me as well. I would say most of my doubts revolve around my personality and not my body.

I'm tall (6' at 16 and not done growing), have broad shoulders, long legs, and I'm oddly fond of my wrists and hands (possibly because a lot of what I do, music and art, revolves around them). On that same note, I'm slightly overweight (I fluctuate between 173 and 178 pounds) and I slouch to cover it up (it hides my slight manboobs and belly). I keep promising myself to exercise more and eat less (I generally put it the fuck away) but for years it hasn't happened because I'm lazy.

None of this stops me from wearing skin-tight jeans and form-fitting shirts. I feel like skinny jeans have made me feel better about my chunky thighs.

I have my share of doubts, though. All through elementary and middle school, I was the lame kid who got made fun of a lot. Not because of my appearance so much as because I was nerdy, talked too much (a trait I have kept, unfortunately), was a huge mama's boy, and retained traces of a Russian accent (my parents wanted me to be bilingual, so I didn't learn a word of English until I went to kindergarten. I now speak both fluently and with a perfect accent, but that took a few years). I originally went to a magnet high school, and suddenly found myself in a crowd of other nerdy, smart kids. I was no longer made fun of and I had friends, but the years of bullying kept me from truly feeling this. I constantly felt like the people I was around didn't want me there, and were only being nice. Like I had to impress them or gain their approval.

To this day I'm rather socially awkward, but things have improved tremendously. Years of Debate Team have made me a confident speaker (I was never shy in the first place, just awkward and long-winded) and my activity in the local music scene and the fact that I play guitar make me feel more interesting and cooler. My first real relationship (a rather new development but old enough to call serious, 4 months) is a big factor too, of course.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #40 on: 13 May 2008, 15:00 »

look at those legs

Go for it, sugar ;)
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #41 on: 13 May 2008, 15:03 »

I AM SO FUCKING RAD

For those of you who gabble, I am sorry you have to put up with my remarkably high self-esteem lately I am sure once the novelty of getting laid again wears off I will slip back into self-loathing and my self-esteem will plummet back to its previous levels of "Oh god I am an ugly bastard with a terribly unendearing personality and I am such a terrible cunt"
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 15:07 by Hat »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #42 on: 13 May 2008, 15:12 »

And not a moment too soon, Brett.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #43 on: 13 May 2008, 15:36 »

There are plenty of things about my body I like, and plenty of things I hate. It fluctuates a lot though, sometimes I'll think some of my features are great and then later I'll think they look awful. I guess I'm also gender neutral so that's interesting. I tend not to worry about my physical appearance too much though (yes, I frequently check I look ok, but it doesn't worry me unless I look weird or embarassing).
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #44 on: 13 May 2008, 15:42 »

As I wrote in the previous topic, my body image is pretty much crap, but at least I know that I can try to improve it (working on it at the moment), and I know that when I weighed less, I looked, well, okay, although about 5 years younger than I actually am, but my overall self image.. Way worse off. I mean, I know I'm not a stupid person, and sometimes I can even be funny/think of funny things to say (I just don't say them out loud a lot..).. And I'm sort of nice, but I'm not good at actually saying nice things to people etc, I rather just stay quiet. And in a way, I like the person I am, when it comes to my interests and taste etc, but there is so much stuff that has me all messed up.

<snip>
« Last Edit: 26 May 2008, 08:42 by Ladybug »
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #45 on: 13 May 2008, 15:56 »

Basically knowing that people can/do find me attractive despite being overweight and having acne is a huge help.

I swear that is not meant to be E-peen.
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #46 on: 13 May 2008, 15:58 »

I'm always somewhat wary of posting fairly personal stuff on a forum that I'm not massively active on, but this thread is pretty interesting and is about stuff that's been on my mind lately.

Growing up I was always pretty uncomfortable with the way I looked/was - I was shy, retreating, a bit odd looking, significantly taller than most of my class mates (something that wasn't really an asset until later) and generally pretty geeky. I considered myself a pretty nice guy and generally worthwhile in a personality sense, but I had no self-confidence and spent a lot of time at home playing computer games and reading. However, over the last few years I have 'blossomed', as it were. I was never fat, but I was certainly carrying more weight than was flattering on me until I left school, at which point I lost a lot of it. I still put weight on in odd places, and struggle to stave off a beer belly, but generally I'm okay. I should eat better and do more exercise, and I am improving in this regard. I think the first year of university, with the heavy drinking, occasional drug use, lack of sleep and general antics have actually had a physical effect on me, as I look significantly older/a lot less baby-faced these days, which is an improvement - perhaps a little haggard, in comparison, but it all adds character. I have also learnt what to do with my hair and how to dress more flatteringly, and developed an ability to grow a pretty great beard, although I tend not to these days, and have a generally dark complexion that often leads people to think I am of Mediterranean descent (often these people are themselves Mediterranean, which is incredibly flattering). Coming back from travelling this year, my self-esteem pretty much sky-rocketed as various friends commented on how good I was looking and, for once, I could see it. I also received flattering comments from random internet people, which was lovely, too. Overall these days, I am incredibly happy with the way I look - I have my off days, like everyone, but they're much rarer now.

Oddly, though, my improved self-image has not led to much of an increase in confidence with the ladies. These days when girls are looking at me, I tend to assume that they may well find me attractive (in fact, sometimes my ego is ridiculous in this regard). However, I'm not all that confident with approaching girls - I know I can be interesting and fun, but I'm also crap at idle chit-chat and am uncomfortable approaching girls I don't know because I feel pretty creepy doing so. On top of this, I have a horrible habit of falling for close friends, which I rarely actually act upon as I know how horribly awkward it can be when a good friend suddenly tells you they're into you and you don't feel the same. I also tend to go for quieter, more retreating girls as I struggle with spending long amounts of time with louder, more intense people. The Catch-22, though, is that as a guy who does not approach girls very often, I only really get to know ones who approach me, and these tend to be, by their very nature, the louder, more intense type.

So, yeah, I'm my self-image is great. My ability with girls, however, still needs some work.

Also, I started going grey at 17 and I think it's fucking awesome. In my family it's either premature greying or premature balding, and I know which I prefer!
« Last Edit: 13 May 2008, 16:02 by october1983 »
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Liz

Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #47 on: 13 May 2008, 16:09 »

I also received flattering comments from random internet people, which was lovely, too.

I think I might have been one of those people!
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #48 on: 13 May 2008, 16:20 »

Quote from: october1983
The Catch-22, though, is that as a guy who does not approach girls very often, I only really get to know ones who approach me, and these tend to be, by their very nature, the louder, more intense type.

i have the exact same problem. You are not alone!
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Re: Body/Self Image
« Reply #49 on: 13 May 2008, 16:33 »

Oh man, I am glad people are interested in the thread; the topic has been running through my head for a while.

Talking to Ben last night made me realise some thing about my self-image. I was part of a group of bitchy girls at high school (I was never super good at choosing nice friends on the first go, I did the same thing in primary school), who would basically compliment someone so they could laugh at them once they had gone. So in my head whenever someone I don't really know will say something nice to me, my first reaction is to deny it, because then I have ruined their cunning plan and the can't go talk about how much of a gullible loser I am.

A way I avoid that situation is to try and make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I went to a friend's photography exhibition recently and wore my hair out and deliberately looked "arty" (read: like a crazy cat lady) because I have known her for a looooong time and knew she'd get a kick out of it. However, the whole time I felt so obvious with my insane amount of hair curling out all around my head that I just wanted to tie it back and look a bit more generic, then people wouldn't notice me and talk shit about me to their friends about how weird I looked.

So in other words, I complain that no on noticed me, but at the same time I try and make myself as unnoticeable as I can. so hey, my head is screwed!
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