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Author Topic: Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable  (Read 740452 times)

Scandanavian War Machine

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Holy crap that's terrible. So essentially a doctor's incompetence nearly killed your father. I really really hope he recovers fully....and sues the face off that doctor.

fixed
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Quote from: KvP
Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

Gemmwah

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Dear Blog Thread,

I went to a gig today with a girl. It was rad. So was the gig. Big smiles all around.

Love, Gemm.

Also, Fuego I hope your dad gets well soon.
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oh good god 4lko jaeger bomb. Holy goood god what have I done.
 :psyduck: psyduck is the most appropriate right now. FUUUUKC

Blue Kitty

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Dear Blog Thread

I find it surprisingly easy to get into places with flowers in hand.  Even security guards don't seem to care that I walk right past them with a vase of flowers.  Sometimes I mock pushing a button in my hand just to see if anyone will notice.
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Dissy

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Dear Blog Thread,

To get away from near deaths, I propose you listen to my problems for a moment.

This weekend, Saturday to be exact, I did some yard work at the lovely house my parents are selling.  On my way out to finish part of my job, the asshat neighbor's boyfirend approached me, and threatend to quote: "Kick the shit out of you if you ever look at my girlfriend again like that."  Now, me being me, I tell the guy that I have no intentions of looking at his girlfriend (whom I have not seen in about a ear, and did not know she was bck from college) for two reasons, one, I find her completely unattractive (I said she was fucking ugly), and two, I could never look at her again anyways because f the time I caught her in the car with her previous boyfriend (whom I kicked the shit out of for taking a baseball bat to my car), the second incident nearly causing my to gorge my own eyes out (I didn't tell him that part).  He proceeds to tell me how he was going to kick the ever living shit out of me, right now.  I tell him to bring it.  I'm hot, I'm sweaty, and I was in a bad mood because I didn't sleep the greatest the night before, and here was this asshat, threatening me.  Lucky for asshat, my dad came out of the arage right then and there, and came over.  My father told the dipshit to beat it, or he was going to be forced to videotape me beating the shit out of the dude.  He leaves, my dad pulls me aside and tells me not to fight with the kid aka "Don't lay a fucking finger on him."  I finish thework, and stay back to lock up.  As I am leaving, the dipshit comes back, acting all big and tough.  You all know the type of bullshit,, "Where's your daddy to save you now?"  I tll him to piss off, and proceed to get into my car.  He slams the door shut on me, and tries to corner me.  Things escalate, and he asks for me to punch him (the finger poke in the sternum, guy talk for "punch me.")  The realtor shows up to show a couple the house, and I tell him to meet me at the Walmart parking lot.  I get into my car, he gets into his and speeds off.  I call my dad and ask him why i cannot "Lay a fucking finger on him", and my dad tells me that I will most likely beat the shit out of the kid, and I will get arrested, and he will not come to bail me out.  I decide that hose are good enough reasons, so I go home.  However, this has left me in all kinds of pissed-off-ed-ness.  I get home, avoid everybody (not an easy feet) and go into my room.  I immeadiately look for something hard to start punching.  And that's when my inner engineer kicks in, and I mentally diagram the best points to punch my bookshelf to obtain maximum poswer, and minimal damage i.e. the corners, and where the shelves rest against the frame.  So, I do that.  I punch it several times.  Each time, the thing tilts backwards and falls back forward.  When I am finished, i have successfully broken my pinkie and ringfinger on my right hand, I (I admit this freely) I had tears rolling down my face from the glorious pain, and my anger was subsiding.  Of course, fight afterwards, my grandparents show up and want to take me out to go shopping for my new car.  This would be rather awkward as my eyes were swollen and red, and My hand was broken.  I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and put on my sunglasses.  I kept them on for the first hour or so of shopping.  I am ambidexterous, but the majority of the population is right-handed, and everyone shakes with their right hand, and all those car sales men... Man, I hate them right now.  Especially the guys with the "firm" handshakes.
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David_Dovey

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Beer Glog Bed,

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH GOD SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS I AM GOING TO FAIL SO HARD OH NOOOOO

SILLY MAN

This, still.
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Patrick

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Patrick, do you spend your whole time there looking at ladies?

Jesus, May, I'm 19, do you think I stare at the ice bin all day? No way. My eyes have a sweet tooth.

I am never giving a full answer to the question "Where are you from?" ever again in this damn town, and from now on I am just going to say "Oh I'm from down south" without giving any details whatsoever. I am sick and fucking tired of answering questions about Albania, and especially the location thereof. Bonus points for "So how do you say (x phrase) in Russian?" and "So why don't you have an accent?"

A woman was being hella bitchy today and doubted me when I said "I just pulled those fries out of the vat, salted them, and gave them straight to you." She thought I was just trying to get her out of my face (that was also true). So it was incredibly funny to me when she stuck her hand straight into the 375-degree fries inside and burned herself. I couldn't keep a straight face, and she lost her temper and drove off. That bitch can suck on my Staff of Cosmic Justice.
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Orbert

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Blog blog blog,

My daughter has turned into Claire from The Breakfast Club.  She likes sushi.  Okay, nothing too weird about that I guess; I like it too.  So the other day grocery shopping, they had these little prepackaged... uh... packages... of sushi, perfect for taking for a lunch or something.  So we grabbed some and she took some in her backpack for lunch yesterday at her summer camp.  She's 10.

Oh dear.  I tried to picture her getting out the little sushi thingies, the little thing of soy sauce, the little chopsticks, while everyone else in her group stared at her.

It doesn't help that we actually live in Northbrook, IL, which many people know is the hometown of John Hughes and the model for fictional Shermer, IL, setting of most of his films.  My son actually goes to the high school where The Breakfast Club spent that one eventful Saturday.  We shop at the mall where Wyatt and Gary got the Slurpee dumped on them in Weird Science.  I feel like we've moved to The Twilight Zone.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.

benji

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I actually worked at a day camp one year, and their was an 12 year old boy who would bring sushi to lunch every day. The other kids thought it was weird. But they pretty much thought everything besides a standard lunch meat sandwich was weird. I tended to make my sandwiches with pita bread, and I was told that that was gross on more then one occasion.
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jhocking

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Oh dear.  I tried to picture her getting out the little sushi thingies, the little thing of soy sauce, the little chopsticks, while everyone else in her group stared at her.

aw, now I miss going to elementary school in Korea and bringing a little doshirak for lunch.

btw, in doing a gis for an image to show what I'm talking about, I found this on a site called wisconsinfood, so maybe a kid with a box of sushi for lunch won't be too weird:
« Last Edit: 24 Jun 2008, 09:44 by jhocking »
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BlahBlah

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"Juicy Juice" looks pretty good, but why is that apple an orange?
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Orbert

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Cool.  My daughter is still pretty weird (she's my kid, after all) but it's good to know that she's no weirder than some.
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Lines

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"Juicy Juice" looks pretty good, but why is that apple an orange?

That apple is an apple. There is a stem on it.

Dear blog thread,

I am tired as fuck, but god damn it, it was worth it.
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I just stepped off the T a few minutes ago. Upon emerging from the subway, the sky was fucking black over my neighborhood.

I started walking home and got about to city hall when thunder cracked across the square. A flash if lightning lit up the sky.

I got about fifty yards down my street when I felt a drop. I opened my umbrella and no sooner did I get it over my head that it started pouring. In the one or two minutes it took me to walk from there to my apartment, I was soaked to the bone.

The rain was going fucking sideways!

I hate New England weather.
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JON MADE ME GAY

pen

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Hey blog thread,

My dad called me a while ago and sounded high as a fucking kite.  I started to yell at him not to call me like that and I didn't want to deal with him while driving.  Then I understood what he was slurring at me.  My Auntie Laura is dead.  She had died only a few minutes before he called.  She was on his living room floor... even while he spoke to me.  I felt like such an asshole.  I offered to go see him, but now the weather is so intense, I really shouldn't drive 2 hours to his house... last thing I need is an accident.  Forget grief... I feel guilty that I'm not being a good daughter because I'm not seeing him.

On a positive note, planning of my trip to San Diego with Jon in October is coming along nicely.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Dear Internet,

i am leaving on a roadtrip to Montana on Friday with a couple of friends and it is going to be awesome. i'm really excited to take a shitload of pictures because i have been so lazy lately when it comes to photography; it's pathetic. but i bought a new tripod today and am really looking forward to taking lots of pictures of all the drinking/skateboarding/camping/gun-shooting that we will be doing.

fuckin' pumped! (despite my purple/green wrist and cracked rib)

EDIT: GODDAMN SHITPISSING ASSCUNT! I TRIED TO LIFT SOMETHING HEAVY AT WORK WITH MY GOOD HAND AND FURTHER DAMAGED MY RIB, SO NOW IT HURTS TO BREATH AND DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING, REALLY. MONTANA TRIP IS A NO GO AND I AM FUCKING PISSED. but on the plus side, i just bought Final Fantasy Tactics A2 so at least i won't be bored.

« Last Edit: 24 Jun 2008, 20:49 by Scandanavian War Machine »
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Quote from: KvP
Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

David_Dovey

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Rear Hog's Head,

I got my glasses! I can see the computer screen without having to get real close to it, and also hopefully I won't get headaches so bad from looking at the screen anymore either. The sum outcome of this is spending more time on the Internet maybe?

EXCELLENT
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jodizzle

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Dear Blog thread,

I had an absolutely smashing weekend and I can't wait to go back to Sydney again sometime!  I am sad to have to have a job though.  Jobs are lame and I am tired and lazy.The good news is that there are only 2 more shifts until the weekend again already!  And if Brett doesn't get drunk and forget he is going to come and hang out at my place this weekend! Hoorah booze and Wii!
Love Jodie
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But then again, I used to dress like the bastard child of a drug-addled punk and a shrubbery.

Lines

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Dear blog thread,

Yaaaaaaaaaaay, I have an interview! At the Apple store! If hired I could be surrounded by shiny gadgets all day long! And maybe get a discount and replace my stolen iPod! And I'd have a job and stuff! Woo!

But really though, that would be awesome. I need a job and I think I'd like the retail environment there, because my least favorite thing about retail is when you have a lag in customers and you get incredibly bored and I've never seen that place slow except for when they are closing.
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ummmkay

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Dear internets,

I just earned $350 for staying with two little girls Sunday - today (Wednesday) while their parents were out of town! We had a fabulous time swimming in their pool and drawing pictures and playing Sorry (about six thousand times) and making up games and building forts and riding bikes! It was awesome!

On Friday I am going to the beach with a bunch of awesome people from school, and then on Monday I am moving into an apartment before I start my summer class. And then in August I get to move into my own HOUSE with four other girls! Hooray! Things are looking up!
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Caleb

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My Dearest Blog Thread,

I managed to hurt my calf rather badly.  I was running when it cramped up and hurt.  Instead of stopping I tried to "walk it off" and keep running.  A 1/4 mile later it felt like someone suddenly shot me in the calf with a BB gun.  Then my whole calf really hurt and I limped home.

Note to self: Caleb, you are no longer a 20 year old collegiate athlete.  You are a 26 year old librarian who is out of shape from 5 years of no exercise.  Listen to your body, you dumbass.

In other news I cooked Tofu for the first time last night and it didn't turn out bad,  just cheese curd textured and mostly tasteless with a bare hint of marinade.

I really gotta meet people my age in my new hometown.

Until I can look into your eyes again,
Caleb
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Dissy

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Caleb, did you stretch?  Stretching always helps
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Quote from: Tommy on Gabbly
i'm not paying for your boob jon
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I fuck at typos
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but you haven't sig quoted me yet kevin
Quote from: Darryl on meebo
9 inches is pathetic by today's standard

Caleb

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Caleb, did you stretch?  Stretching always helps

Yes, but I did it half-arsed.  I was also way too under-hydrated.  If I would had warmed up alittle more...

I think it was just one of those strains where everything would have been fine if I hadn't tried to be a bad-ass and "run through the pain".
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Barmymoo

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I read that as $350 for Sunday and went  :-o but four days is much more understandable.

Today I got mistaken for a New Look shop assistant, as I was carrying ridiculous quanities of clothes. I am not a New Look shop assitant, I was merely trying on twelve things in one go. (All of them were horrible.)

I also had an epic indoor picnic with chips, flapjack, fruit salad and the biggest ice cream sundaes in the world. Then I played on Lego Indiana Jones for hours. Today was a good day. Although I went up a dress size, and I am not kidding.
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There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

Caleb

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I also had an epic indoor picnic .

Red and white checkered blanket on the floor?  Huge wooden table in the middle of the living room?  Leave the windows open for insects?
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Lines

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Hugs for Sam.
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0bsessions

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n0J
,ylerecniS

.htiw laed ot tcefed driew rehtar a si tI .dessesope b thgim ti thguoht I ,tsrif tA .keew a  ecno tsael ta srucco ti tub ,sneppah ti yhw ro woh ndatsrednu tonnac yllaer I .niaga sdrawkcab gnipyt si draobyek yM

,daerht golb raeD
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
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JON MADE ME GAY

imapiratearg

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How long did it take you to type that?
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0bsessions

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Maybe thirty seconds? It seriously is my keyboard, not me. Rachel can vouch for it, as she's seen it happen. My keyboard just occasionally wigs out and starts going backwards. I think it's actually a problem with the mouse, where it's jamming left on the scroll button and moving the cursor constantly.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

ledhendrix

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Summer starts tomorrow.

Screw all you guys who are having crap times at the moment. Tomorrow is my last day of work, going out for a curry then going out to the pubs. Day after I'm going to see Radiohead in Glasgow which will be amazing.

Then it's on to Tiree for a week. Where I will float about in one of these:



Fishing to my hearts content. The house we are renting is right beside the loch which is pretty much the ideal situation for me. Gonna go for a cycle round the island every day as well. If it's windy then it's windsurfing time. No wind? Lots of waves? Time for normal surfing. Tiree kicks ass for being outdoors all the time.

Next stop Amsterdam. Me and two other guys are staying there for a week in a hostel. One night we are going to get so ridiculously stoned we won't be able to say our own names. Might go see some museums, drink some good beer and basically do the touristy thing. Amsterdam will be whole heaps of win.

Last stop on the tour, SSC summer camp. Been to it for the last three years running and have loved it so much. Lounging about in a field with loads of awesome people. Jokes and acts on the stage in the evening, sports in the afternoon which I particularly enjoy winning at. Robbie "Mr fucking zippy" Eisler. It's always so sad when everybody goes home from camp, especially since there is this one girl that goes that I always end up having a thing with, but nothing happens cause she lives in Edinburgh and I live in Oban. Screw that this year, not gonna ruin my after camp.

After all that excitement It's time to chill out in august, go to some beach parties, go on that camping/fishing trip I have been planning for ages. Then after a little bit of luxuriously lazy lounging It's time to go to a few music festivals maybe. August finishes then I'm moving away from home to Dundee Uni. Only know one other person going there so It's gonna be a magic time to drop all inhibitions.

This summer, no one can top it. Not one of you.

Probably won't see you all for a while as of tomorrow.

Have fun on the Internets.
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Kai

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Sam listen to spiritualized it makes everything better/leagues worse (usually the latter, but hey, depression is in style)


Dear Thlog Bread,

I am currently quitting my job. Because I am tired of waking up at 3:30 am every morning. Also, I got a different job.
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but the music sucks because the keyboards don't have the cold/mechanical sound they had but a wannabe techno sound that it's pathetic for Rammstein standars.

Oli

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Then it's on to Tiree for a week. Where I will float about in one of these

Hey Man me and my friends are going camping on tiree for 2 weeks starting this saturday, which is the day after radio head no? You should say hi!

If you're up for hangouts then PM me. We actually have enough room if you want to camp out for a night or two, I'm sure none of my friends would mind.
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Ladybug

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ledhendrix, I want your summer.

My summer has been less than impressing so far, but at least I finally got out of the house! Yesterday, a friend and I went for a "mountain hike" (well, we walked up to some mountain, but on a gravel road, so I don't really think it counts as hiking, but whatever, it is basically a fucking long hill, and we did venture away from the road at times). The weather was crap, but it was a nice enough trip, I guess, and I hope we'll do it again, because it feels good to be active. But by the time we approached the top, I started regretting leaving my wool beanie in Trondheim, and wished I'd brought mittens. It was freezing. It's almost July, for God's sake, I shouldn't be worried about mittens and beanies. Today wasn't much better, except at least I was freezing indoors, with a blanket and tons of clothes available.

Photographic evidence, which would look a whole lot better if it wasn't so damn grey:

It might not be very easy to see, but the stuff between the green and the ocean is (part of) the city where we walked from, so it's a bit of a hike, but it kinda looks further than it is.
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KvP

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Blog thread,

I've been feeling really pretty relatively good all week. However, when I came home from work tonight I was sort of tired, and I had this curious feeling, like vertigo, and I had the urge to call my friend, so I did. She asked how I was, and I lied to her and told her I was fine. So we have a little chit chat, and all the while I'm feeling progressively worse and worse, and my voice was cracking and I was trying to hide it from my friend (I succeeded) so she hangs up and before I know it I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs, just belting it out. And I was literally incapable of stopping myself. I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from getting too loud. This lasted about 15 minutes and it took an additional 5 after that to suppress the urge to wail. I have no idea why it happened. The crown of my head is also sore, I think I may have hit myself with the phone in those first few moments.

On the other side of the coin, I was sent a letter from an unnamed PO box in Denver with $100 in cash and a gift card from Red Lobster. I think it's from this guy who challenged me to a bet online. He bet me $100 that Hillary would be the nominee. This was in April.
« Last Edit: 25 Jun 2008, 19:29 by Kid van Pervert »
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I review, sometimes.
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I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

ruyi

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Hm, that's never happened to me before. Do you feel better after it happened?
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KvP

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A little bit, yeah. I'm more tired than I was, but the vertigo feeling is gone.
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I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
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SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

0bsessions

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Man, I may be the minority, but when I suddenly feel vertigo and keel over literally crying in pain, I go to the hospital...
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
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JON MADE ME GAY

KvP

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The pain was not physical. I suppose I should have been more specific about that. It was a feeling.
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I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Dissy

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Man, I may be the minority, but when I suddenly feel vertigo and keel over literally crying, I go take a handful of pain pills...

Vertigo is awful.  It sounds lik you had a migrane or something.
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i'm not paying for your boob jon
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but you haven't sig quoted me yet kevin
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9 inches is pathetic by today's standard

Aminal

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Dear Blog Thread,

Today I got a call from the vet saying that while they were able to repair our foster kitten's hernia, they were not able to fix her rectal prolapse.  Then he said some things about "rubbing" and "ointment" and I just started thinking, who's gonna adopt a kitten whose ass is hanging out?  Much less apply unguents to it for the rest of the kitten's life.  Shit.

What am I gonna do about this?
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jhocking

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Tom

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I'm not heartless enough to say you should put it down but I'm starting to court the idea.
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KvP

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Dear Anyways,

Please send me money.

Love,
KvP
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I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Liz

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Jens.

Buddy.

How've you been?
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Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

KvP

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Johnnnnnn.
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I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Storm Rider

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He also responds to Al, Sean, Spanky, and Angus McAnusface.
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Quote
[22:06] Shane: We only had sex once
[22:06] Shane: and she was wicked just...lay there

Liz

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The last one in particular.
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Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

jhocking

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I just got off the phone from a very interesting conversation. Now I'm in a very troubled state however, unsure of how to proceed. Long story short, there's a good teaching opportunity back in NYC that I'd be a strong candidate for, and most people I know would be ecstatic at this turn of events, but I'm not sure I want to move back to New York.

dilemma
« Last Edit: 26 Jun 2008, 15:18 by jhocking »
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Liz

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How much will you get paid? This is all that matters.
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Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

Ladybug

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Dear blog thread,

August cannot come soon enough! Just a few of the things my mother has freaked out about (meaning yelled at me and been pissed off for at least 2 hours afterwards), in the last 2 weeks:
- I forgot to water the plants. They'd been watered 4 days earlier, so it's not like they were going to drop dead any time soon.
- I carried a chair (that just so happens to belong to the dining room set) downstairs to the dining room, from the attic, because I assumed it belonged there. It didn't. So I said "Okay, it's not like it was a problem.." and carried it upstairs again. She kept yelling.
- My brother and I were sprawled on the couch, which left little room for her to sit when she got home from work, and I happened to sigh before I sat up to give her some space. Major freakout.
- I checked the opening hours of the bank online for her, and she went there after work. Apparently, they close half an hour earlier during the summer, and hadn't updated their websites. This was somehow my fault. I drove her across town to another branch that has longer opening hours, and she was stille pissed off.
- I took a glass of Pepsi Max after having helped out in the garden, because it was the only cold thing we had, aside from water, and I'd worked for 2 hours. Bad idea.
- I wasn't thrilled about some new candlesticks she purchased, so I answered "I guess" when she asked if I liked them. Not enthusiastic enough and grounds for more bitching.
- I asked if it would be possible for me to watch the semifinals in the Euro 2008 in the living room, seeing as I don't have a TV in my room here. Bad idea. Apparently this means I only think about myself and my wants/needs, and that I was chasing her out of her own home.
- I made a salad for dinner, and didn't make any dressing, because I don't like it and no one had asked me. Wrong choice.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, because it truly is ridiculous and somewhat laughable, but oh, so frustrating. Also, a C on an exam I feared I might've failed is pretty cool.
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0bsessions

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I think you know where this is going, Joe...

Suck the next nine dicks you see.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY
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