Well I see an important distinction between patriotism and nationalism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nationalismhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PatriotismThe difference is rather subtle. Basically, nationalism is a sort of indoctrinated territorial behavior. In it's milder forms (ie. nations have a right to exist) I think nationalism is a good thing really, but in it's more extreme forms nationalism often amounts to bigotry (eg. thinly veiled racism.) In all cases, the exclusionary aspects of nationalism don't sit well with me. For example, for all of it's justifications and the very real need to manage the flow of immigrants, the border fence is about cementing the distinction between "us" and "them." How ironic when the United States itself only exists because of land grabs that had nothing to do with any nationalist claims.
Patriotism however doesn't necessarily go along with ownership over territory. Patriotism is about cultural pride, and loving the ideals of your country. Patriotism is an attachment to people and ideas, whereas nationalism is about who owns what. To really understand the distinction, think about the Revolutionary War; George Washington was about as patriotic as you can get, and yet he was patriotic toward a country that didn't even exist yet.
While I don't experience much nationalism, I do consider myself fairly patriotic. I cherish the values of this country, feel pride in the achievements of my countrymen, and consider myself an American; I love to travel around the country and see the beauty of it, but I feel no ownership over any of these places. I think incidentally these distinctions are where all the "if you hate this country then move" kinda stuff misses the mark. I love my country, I just don't feel much attachment to any particular piece of dirt.
Whether or not these attitudes are because I was born in another country and lived overseas for most of my childhood is an open question, but obviously any person's upbringing has a massive effect on their outlook.
At that, I suppose it is interesting to consider the notion of nationalism in the context of my birthplace of Korea, a country artificially divided by extreme differences in political ideology. I mean, how much respect can you have for the idea of national borders when your own borders were drawn up within the last 60 years? And whatever your feelings about national borders, aren't you still a patriot if you feel pride in your country?
This also brings up a territorial dispute currently going on between South Korea and Japan. Both nations claim ownership of the tiny island of Dokto:
http://son-of-gadfly-on-the-wall.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-response-to-south-korean-perspective.htmlI'm not sure what exactly this dispute suggests, but it is certainly relevant.