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Author Topic: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend  (Read 31209 times)

0bsessions

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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #150 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:10 »

It's a matter of it being a relatively personal question. You don't walk into a bar and start asking random patrons for relationship advice, why would you wander into a close knit forum and do the same?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #151 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:19 »

But I thought it was established earlier in this thread that an internet forum isn't all that much like a real life bar :)

However, having personal conversations with strangers at bars, parties, etc isn't all that unusual in my experience. Or all that awful, as long as all parties have the option of getting out of the convo whenever they like.

And tbh, the only person giving out any private info is the person doing the asking!

EDIT: What I'm getting from your posts is that to many of you this is about propriety, etiquette, unwritten rules of socialising, that sort of thing. I can understand that aspect of it, I just don't understand why anyone should be so keen on those unwritten rules as to be an ass to a stranger!
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 13:22 by Aimless »
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #152 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:26 »

Something I've noticed about the younger folks who joined this forum a while ago and have noticeably matured in that time is that the ones who have managed to gain the respect and camaraderie of their elders are the ones who gleaned information almost by osmosis - by following the flow of threads and picking up bits of advice here and there as they required it. This seems to be a better approach than asking point-blank questions, which almost always goes down pretty badly.

Again, I can't stress enough how important the first response in a thread is. If this thread had been posted at a different time of the day, you'd have a totally different thread. As it turns out, this one was pretty amusing and also just about informative enough. Still, it would have been a different thread depending on whoever got the first five posts in.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #153 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:29 »

Still, do we know that this is the better of the possible threads?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #154 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:30 »

I've been acting like a dick in this thread because if we actually start giving advice to teenagers about shit they can figure out on their own then it will never, ever stop. I've seen it ruin forums before, it's not pretty and I don't want it happening to QC.

Our experiences differ, in that respect. In the years I've spent on various forums, both smaller and larger than this one, I have never seen a forum be ruined by people doing things like giving relationship advice. All those forums are still thriving! The few forums I've seen be ruined have instead been ruined by groupthink. Mostly the element of hostility towards newcomers :)

So where does that leave us? I can't dismiss your experiences out of hand but you can't dismiss mine either.

Okay so it may be incredibly annoying for this particular forum to have to weather a storm of relationship threads from strangers, I get that.

EDIT: Yeah, the first responses set the tone for the rest of the discussion here, which I think is a shame. Makes things hella unpredictable and thus scary.

(sorry guys, I haven't mastered sharp internet wit yet :()
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #155 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:36 »

Still, do we know that this is the better of the possible threads?

Depends on what you want from an internet forum. Probably a good chunk of people would have loved it if Kieffer had been here for the first post. Or maybe Chuck.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #156 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:38 »

Oh, Jesus.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #157 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:40 »

My advice: don't ask the internet. Just do stuff. Usually by your 4th or 5th girlfriend, you figure out what not to do. Like sticking it in her pooper. Most of them don't like that. Notice I said most. But you've got another 4-10 years to figure that out.

On a side note, you will have achieved true wisdom when you are finally able to go "I don't know shit all about women" and be comfortable with it. Anyone that says otherwise is wrong or a liar.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #158 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:48 »

I actually came up with an idea for a thread a while back, which was similar to Darryl's genuinely incredible Ask Darryl's Mom thread. What I want to do is organise a thread which is entirely people asking for advice on any number of issues and then I will seek responses from a variety of people, depending on the subject. I'll post the thread once I've got a few tentative positives from the people I want to answer the questions.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #159 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:49 »

Depends on what you want from an internet forum. Probably a good chunk of people would have loved it if Kieffer had been here for the first post. Or maybe Chuck.

I imagine the thread wouldn't have lasted more than half a page if Chuck got to it first. I'd bet he'd just respond along the lines of "No. Fuck this thread" and that would've been the end of it before Est came along and locked it for uglying up the front page.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #160 on: 20 Aug 2008, 13:50 »

Personally, I have no problem with someone asking a question like this on an internet forum. I find jon's argument that a person asking this question in a public forum should be prepared for scorn rather disingenuous, since he's the main one heaping on scorn.

My main beef with the OP has nothing to do with the question, it's the fact that following the question his posts conveyed a rather shitty personality. As in, I have no problem with the question, I have a problem with him.

For reference, if you skim over the first page again, note that it isn't until halfway down that I decided I don't like the guy. Prior to that, I was actually defending him.
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 13:54 by jhocking »
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #161 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:24 »


 I'll post the thread once I've got a few tentative positives from the people I want to answer the questions.

Yeah, I'm in. Like, tentatively. You know.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #162 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:27 »

My main beef with the OP has nothing to do with the question, it's the fact that following the question his posts conveyed a rather shitty personality. As in, I have no problem with the question, I have a problem with him.

Well yeah, but it's not exactly a surprising reaction when you treat a kid like that, esp. not on a forum! I prefer to see how a person can be at his best (or at least not at his worst) before passing judgement. Can you imagine how a stranger would judge some of your friends here on QC if they only had this kind of thread to go on??

I don't like him - not because he's a newbie or because he's young, but because he seems ignorant, calls things "gay" with negative connotations and just doesn't seem to actually contribute with anything. I know that is an asshole thing to say, but read through his older posts and compare to, say, Ally's or Sam's or Liz's, and decide for yourself who you'd want to stick around.

And that's another thing I tend to avoid, irl as well as on forums!

If it were up to some people, I wouldn't have stuck around on QC for very long either :p

I don't expect anyone to go out of their way to defend someone who actively hurts or antagonises others without provocation, but I think it's good to try to turn a bad convo into a better one. Okay so he's an obnoxious kid--does that mean that we can't engage him? Teach him better posting, over time?

Although I suppose it would be preferable if the arrival and integration of a newcomer never required any effort on the part of the community.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #163 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:34 »

in Joe's defense, the kid really is sort of a douche.

he came into some other thread a few weeks ago, i believe, and immediately said something like "i'm fourteen. i'm awesome" and everyon was kind of like "...okay. whatever." and then he started acting like a jerk because...i don't know...we didn't instantly approve of him? it was ridiculous, anways.

from what i've seen so far, that's just how he is and we can't be held responsible.




also, he might even be a very subtle and slow-working troll. i'm not really sure.
 
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #164 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:38 »

Guys, this thread was turning in a very interesting direction when Tommydski started talking about internet philosophy and the direction threads can take depending on who gets the first post.

I wish I could philosophize enough to push it further in that direction, because well, I thought it was very interesting. As far as I'm aware, most threads that are declared 'awesome' by one of the long time members through out the thread, are usually threads that are hijacked at one point or another, and often are the result of some ridiculous statement, or some assholery.

Sadly, this discussion wasn't pushed, and we are now again laying blame and defending people because of /for their actions.

PS. Tommy, I think that's an excellent idea for a thread. That along with the blog thread should probably keep those help! threads limited to one place.

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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #165 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:42 »

About the troll thing. I would have sworn, when I first started reading the thread, that he was just somebody's alt account and was just making this all up and that someone would be all like "nice try alt account of blahblahblah." But when no one did, I began to think he was just messing around and wasn't really serious. I gave him a serious response, but I am still not entirely sure if he was being genuine in his post, because it seems a tad on the silly side, but you know, whatever.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #166 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:46 »

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Nag nag nag

Oh, and that is for the last 2 pages btw...
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #167 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:50 »

Anyways - Then I guess you could do that specifically (eg. in this thread) rather than to be generally hostile! The latter won't teach anyone anything good, will it?? I get the frustration, though.

As for liking people, should you have to [pretend to] like someone in order to be courteous or respectful??

Not saying this in criticism of you guys, or exclusively wrt this specific case... just generally curious :)

I've a hard time figuring out what flies and what doesn't, in this the most actively moderated forum I've ever joined.

EDIT: Man, none of our experiences seem to match at all... my experiences with dealing with customers (and seeing others do the same!) have been almost exclusively positive!

Bummer about your crappy day, though. I saw there was a tea-party taking place nearby, that might help :) peace
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 14:55 by Aimless »
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #168 on: 20 Aug 2008, 14:56 »

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but when he is fourteen, posting useless things and generally acting like a person of his age

Should I take offense?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #169 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:10 »

Why is respectful treatment something that has to be earned?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #170 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:20 »

Shit.  Guys, I got a girl pregnant and she doesn't want to abort.  What should I do?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #171 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:21 »

Must we do this?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #172 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:30 »

he came into some other thread a few weeks ago, i believe, and immediately said something like "i'm fourteen. i'm awesome" and everyon was kind of like "...okay. whatever." and then he started acting like a jerk because...i don't know...we didn't instantly approve of him? it was ridiculous, anways.
er.. I wouldn't do that. link please?
I want full-blown proof of this.



Okay, i need to say something.
You've all got a mom right?
Or at least foster parents or something?
Have you never heard her say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."?
Same thing applies on the internet. There's a reason your browser has a back button.
Seriously, if you don't like a thread or something in it, leave. You don't have to.. up your rep or something by insulting the OP, in fact, most people would probably like you more if you just left.
I'm sure you will all find some "omg epic phail" in this but seriously, you tell me to grow up but I'm at least six years younger than most of you. I think that the rest of you need to first.

And yeah, i got pretty..
douchey?
But let's say that you're fourteen and are being verbally fucking gang raped. What would you do?
I'm sure most of you would say that you would just 'be cool' or something. But you'd want to defend yourself.

And yeah, sorry for calling Pokemon 'gay'. I don't usually say that, but it's not like I'm talking about somebody that way. It's not like I don't like gay people, I do in fact have three friends who are openly gay. So yeah.

And you can't say that I'm acting like a douche when the rest of you are acting the way you are.
Also, how is calling some gay much different than calling someone a bag used for vaginal cleaning?
You people are messed up.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #173 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:31 »

Must we do this?

Yes.

If the point is not belaboured to an astounding degree, how will he learn?

Edit: Oh mate, not a strong move on your part. Especially the bit about having gay friends how we should all grow up ALL OF IT!
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 15:34 by Jimmy the Squid »
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #174 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:34 »

And yeah, sorry for calling Pokemon 'gay'. I don't usually say that, but it's not like I'm talking about somebody that way. It's not like I don't like gay people, I do in fact have three friends who are openly gay. So yeah.
And you can't say that I'm acting like a douche when the rest of you are acting the way you are.
Also, how is calling some gay much different than calling someone a bag used for vaginal cleaning?

Dear God please just stop.

I would like you a lot more if you would just leave.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #175 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:35 »

Dude, just give up, cut your losses, and leave. You're just embarrassing yourself. Stop.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #176 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:36 »

If we all stay very still, maybe it will go away. (I typed this before your response, and it is directed at the thread as the general entity in question, not you)

Quote
Also, how is calling some gay much different than calling someone a bag used for vaginal cleaning?

Well, y'see..Objectifying somebody as a bag used for vaginal cleaning is obviously a falsehood, and whilst psychologically damaging, it's not exactly changing or putting down their way of life. Using the term gay in a derogatory fashion, however, is putting down somebody's way of life.

Quote
You've all got a mom right?
Or at least foster parents or something?
Have you never heard her say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."?

Yes, but c'mon...What percentage of human reaction would be wiped out if it was a cardinal sin to break? Hell, more than 60% is my estimate.

Fuck it, I update my post every time I get a 'this posted whilst ur writtin lulz', and this must be the 5th time on this message.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #177 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:38 »



I think its time, no? Enough has been said.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #178 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:40 »

I'm trying to take you seriously Umbreon, but the way your write out your posts just offends my eyes. It would be far easier for people to take you seriously if you didn't write in such a childish way.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #179 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:41 »

Wait, what about MY situation.  This thread is perfect for it.  I need halp!
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #180 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:42 »

I would say rob a bank so you can pay for child support.

EDIT: That would be the first ever amputation with a flame thrower!
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 15:47 by Leinad »
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bbqrocks

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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #181 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:43 »

I'd say your situation is closer to 'haelp'.

Seriously, can we just let this die? Y'know, amputate before the infection spreads?
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #182 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:47 »

I'm trying to take you seriously Umbreon, but the way your write out your posts just offends my eyes. It would be far easier for people to take you seriously if you didn't write in such a childish way.

Childish way?
And how is that? Sure, I use too many new lines. It's just a habit of mine.
I IM too much.
But yeah, someone close this.
You guys are all such douches.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #183 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:47 »

Why is respectful treatment something that has to be earned?

Quite right.

Guys, not being nice to someone - anyone - is a sign of arrogance, lack of confidence, and immaturity.  Can you all say, hand on heart, that you have never in your life been a bit naive or even stupid about something in your turn?  Good-natured ribbing is one thing, but that is not what we seen in parts of this thread.  It is actually easier and less stressful to make a habit of being respectful with people you don't know; and if that doesn't work out, well, just leave it be - there should be plenty else to occupy your minds more fruitfully.

Paul
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #184 on: 20 Aug 2008, 15:54 »

Quote
Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag

Oh, and that is for the last 2 pages btw...

Wait, make that 2.5
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #185 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:04 »

Guys, not being nice to someone - anyone - is a sign of arrogance, lack of confidence, and immaturity.

Keep posting this for about five years and we're basically on the same page.

I'll be James Brown, you can be my Average White Band.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #186 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:04 »

Man please don't let this thread be locked. I love it so much.

SO MUCH!
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #187 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:06 »

Nice honesty there.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #188 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:08 »

That wasn't sarcasm.
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #189 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:15 »

too late

FIGHT

« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2008, 16:20 by jhocking »
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Re: ba ba da da i need help with my girlfriend
« Reply #190 on: 20 Aug 2008, 16:32 »

DUST MITE WINS

MITALITY
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