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[Johnny C]

Tonight I saw Joel Plaskett and was witness to two of the funniest heckles I've ever heard.

After Plaskett extolled the virtues of watching the Olympics on hotel cable: "...SWIMMING!"
After Plaskett mentioned that his band covered "Night Train": "If you're going to play Seger, play 'Hollywood Nights!'"

This is a list thread but I can't think of a better way to share awesome heckles or just things shouted at the stage that were memorable.

[David_Dovey]

My favourite one, and one which subsequently became one I've used a lot since was seeing my friend's band (sorta standard "indie" rock) and a guy dead-seriously yelled for them to "play some Nile!"

[Jackie Blue]

I stand by "Play your good song!"

[Hat]

I spend a lot of time around covers bands, and anyone who does so in Australia, especially those of you who play in covers bands are pretty familiar with having "PLAY KHE SAHN YOU CUNTS" yelled right next to you by some drunk dude holding aloft a stubby of XXXX (It's our Freebird) and one of my favourite things to do when I'm bored is heckle a covers band by replacing Khe Sahn with some more obscure Chisel tracks.

Examples:

"PLAY MONA AND THE PREACHER, CUNTS"

So far I have only had one dude in a covers band realise what I am doing and crack up laughing, but it was totally worth it.

Also the bassist in one of the bands I see a lot has this cool instrument that doubles as a six string bass and an electric guitar. It's white and looks like a regular six string bass except it has a part from the headstock running up over the neck and connecting to the body of the instrument and it was brought to my attention by a really drunk nerd once, that yelled loudly during his guitar solo that "HE'S PLAYING A FUCKEN BA'LETH BLADE"

[imapiratearg]

When I was at The Weakerthans show in Northampton, they had this guy called AA Bondy open for them.  He played this really nice acoustic music that had a sort of southern/country/folk sound.  I liked it, but there was this one guy in a few feet behind me and my friend yelling stuff like, "I bet you would've loved the Depression!" and Bob Dylan jokes.  It was pretty funny.  I can't really remember much of what he said, though.

[Catacombs]

I saw Eddie Vedder play in a small theater earlier this month.  In between songs he'd tell a story about a song or answer some questions from the crowd.  After one song there was a longer-than-usual pause of silence, then someone yelled out "WHATS THE WORDS TO YELLOW LEDBETTER?!"  Everyone in the theater started cracking up, and Eddie lost his composure and laughed longer than the crowd did.  He responded with "There's words in Yellow Ledbetter?".  He then proceeded to tell everyone what it was about which was actually pretty sad but it was still fun event.  Damn good show too

[Eli]

When I saw the Secret Chiefs 3 opening for The Melvins, two guys standing behind me kept screaming, "Shut the fuck up, you hippie jam band!" Kinda ironic, considering the SC3 doesn't have vocals, nor do they sound anything like a jam band (it was a mix of Persian-inspired metal). When the band was done, they starting yelling, "Booooooo! Go fuck your mom! Go toss her salad!"

[TheFuriousWombat]

That's not a great heckle at all. It seems like generic assholery.

[KvP]

I can't say I've heard many good heckles in my day. But when I went to see Queens of the Stone Age I sort of saw a... reverse heckle? Josh Homme likes to pick someone out in the crowd and heckle them. There's an instance of such on their live album. It was quite fun when we saw him do it.

[Liam]

When bands do their sound check, I insist that they 'turn up the mustache.' For some reason, almost everyone adjusts the treble.

[Jackie Blue]

The last show I played that had a soundman working, I kept asking him to "give me a little more Trans Am in the monitor".