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Author Topic: Traitor  (Read 9237 times)

BrilliantEraser

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Traitor
« on: 05 Sep 2008, 15:37 »

I have been working on a comic called Traitor for a little over a year now. Mostly I have been writing and editing scripts, and I am finally at the drawing stage! Below is an example of my current artwork, inked and colored. Would anyone be willing to give constructive criticism/comments?
I already know that I need to work on perspective, since the hobo looks like he is part of a wall. Other than that, feel free to rip this to shreds.



You can check out the rest of Traitor at www.traitor-comic.blogspot.com. Please note that the first six strips were drawn by my good friend, who is an amazing artist.

Thanks!
Brilliant Eraser Productions
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #1 on: 05 Sep 2008, 15:37 »

Here is another panel, for your consideration:

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CarrionMan

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #2 on: 05 Sep 2008, 17:01 »

If you just angle the shots a little bit more horizontal it should look better. From this perspective, the people look like giants laying in the street.
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Trollstormur

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #3 on: 06 Sep 2008, 00:40 »

take a course on anatomy and perspective. this is a constructive comment.
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #4 on: 06 Sep 2008, 09:19 »

Thanks, Trollstormur. I am actually working on finding out what my college currently offers in the way of drawing seminars. I am not in the fine arts program, so it is near impossible for me to get into any of the actual classes. :|
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Spluff

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #5 on: 07 Sep 2008, 00:54 »

Classes are pretty useless anyway, all you need to do is look in a book for a little while, then practice practice practice.
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ampersandwitch

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #6 on: 07 Sep 2008, 10:45 »

Classes are pretty useless anyway

 :?
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CarrionMan

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #7 on: 07 Sep 2008, 14:17 »

Another thing I thought of is blurring the background. It will help with the whole depth perception, after all, when talking to someone(I'm assuming you aren't checking out the ass[or the fire, or the fight, or whatever] across the room), you focus on them, and the background will be blurry.


And another thing includes lighting effects. If you think about the light placement and the effects of objects between another object has on light, you can assume that things far away and closer will have different lighting(unless it is like… I don't know what they're called. Those rooms where you can't tell where up is down or etc.).
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tomselleck69

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #8 on: 07 Sep 2008, 15:31 »

Classes are pretty useless anyway, all you need to do is look in a book for a little while, then practice practice practice.

A good book and practice is nice in theory, but a good class has a teacher who gives feedback and does not let you be lazy.

Also what if this someone takes this advice to mean it's okay to buy a How to Draw Manga book? DO YOU WANT THIS ON YOUR CONSCIENCE
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #9 on: 07 Sep 2008, 16:23 »

While I do agree that practice is good, having someone keep you on task and motivated is infinitely more useful. I have actually never taken a formal art/drawing class, I only have my friend Jeff who reminds me to draw whenever I get the chance. Sort of like the following scenario.

::Phone rings::
Me: "Hello?"
Jeff: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Uh... brushing my teeth?"
Jeff: "No. I mean with your life."
Me: "Eep!"
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JD

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #10 on: 25 Sep 2008, 20:08 »

Grab a human anatomy book, that helps loads.
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SpaceBanditAndy

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #11 on: 28 Sep 2008, 08:36 »

take a course on anatomy and perspective. this is a constructive comment.

I'm going to second this. Also, draw A LOT. You will get better with experience.

When you can, use photos for drawing reference (And I mean as a reference, not as a background replacement). This will help you perceive what certain things look like, and this is not considered cheating.
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #12 on: 29 Sep 2008, 19:10 »

Oooh, thanks a ton, guys. I have been doing everything you all recommended -- drawing lots, drawing from reference pictures, looking at anatomy textbooks, and I think it is really helping. I will post an update of what I have been doing recently. I personally can see the difference already, which is very fulfilling. I do not think that is the right word?
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #13 on: 13 Nov 2008, 19:39 »

Been working more on the comic. I got a Wacom Bamboo tablet, and drawing on it is a lot of fun, though it is a very different feel from pen and paper. Anyways, here is some new art for the comic; looking for continued criticisms, please!

Also, the new Traitor website is at www.brillianteraser.wordpress.com

You can find all the Traitor comics listed under their respective header on the right-hand side of the blog.

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OneoftheLost

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #14 on: 13 Nov 2008, 19:45 »

Hmm.. hey, here's my only piece of criticism, like they said, studying the human anatomy helps, along with practice. Yet, if you walk down that road, I would suggest looking at how the human body moves. The joints etc. Ive taken a few drawing classes, and honestly, they can be a big help in certain areas. (Like the aforementioned joint movement) At the same time, its up to you to develop your own style and how you want YOUR comic to look.

Speaking of which, I checked out your site. I like the dialogue and how the comic.. 'flows' but I'm not very descriptive on various things. In summary, keep at it. Its good stuff.  :)
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SpaceBanditAndy

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #15 on: 13 Nov 2008, 23:22 »

I'd like to add a book that will help you out a lot:

Expressive Anatomy for Comics and Narrative, by Will Eisner

You can also probably find this in a nearby comic book shop or bookstore. Will Eisner is one of the greats, and learning from him will help you on the path to become a better comiker.
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #16 on: 14 Nov 2008, 06:54 »

Oneofthelost -- thanks so much for your pointers and kind words. I love getting praise. :lol:

Andy -- I have a few Barnes and Noble gift cards left lying around, and now I have something AWESOME to buy with them! Thanks a lot for posting the link to this book.
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Traitor
« Reply #17 on: 03 Feb 2009, 12:11 »

Finally shelled out the cash to buy/host my own domain.

http://brillianteraser.com

My art has gotten a bit better, but I would still really appreciate it if you guys could check out the website and some of the newer comic strips I've drawn.

Thanks!
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