I've only read South of the Border, West of the Sun - which I'm given to understand is much closer to "realism" than is typical of Murakami's writing - and I haven't been moved to explore his writing any further since then. It seemed rather obsessed with oral sex, to an extent that it seemed to me to become pure male fantasy - like, the guy has a relationship with a girl, and she flat-out refuses to have penetrative sex with him, but practically leaps at the chance to suck his dick? I don't know, maybe that really is a less confronting sexual option for women, but I found it frankly ludicrous. In general I found the sexual relationships in that book absolutely laughable at best, and borderline narcissistic at worst, and that severely tainted my experience of the book as a whole.
Maybe I'll give Murakami another chance some time soon, though. Everyone else seems to like him - especially a lot of women I know, so maybe his sexual politics aren't as bad as I make them out to be based on my very limited reading.