My breakup story really only involves my only ex-girlfriend.
In late 2005, my senior year of High School, this girl messages me on Myspace (who was apparently a friend of a friend) saying that I was adorable and cute, etc. She was blonde, wore glasses, looked kinda nerdy, was an alcoholic at the age of 16, a vegetarian and card-carrying PETA member, and had arguably the worst possible taste in music (Hawthorne Heights et al). However, she lived across town and at that point, I had utterly failed to hook up with any lady at that point. Now around that point I did not have the realization that I didn't have to date her or even talk to her, something I should have realized when the friend she knew me from told me that the girl was nothing if not bad news bears. However, being the desperate schmuck I was, I messaged her back and became friends with her.
Later that week, I get suspended from school for fighting with a friend during class and I get stuck home feeling like crap. So naturally the relationship blossoms from there. At some point we meet back at my school to see a play, and the week afterwards we declare ourselves as officially going out. Before I see her again, we're talking on the phone at which point during the hour mark of the conversation I tell her I love her.
Stupid, stupid Christopher.
In any case, she says she loves me back and we see each other again at her school for a play yada yada. That weekend she texts me, telling me "we need to talk", and we talk, and she says that we rushed into it way too fast. Cue me writing really really pathetic LJ entries.
Eventually, we meet up at her house a week later, watch Say Anything, and end up kissing each other. That night she goes to a party, gets super-mega-ultra drunk and drunk-dials me, telling me how much she loves me and wants to fuck me, etc. Needless to say a few days later we're back on.
Things go semi-well for the next two months or so, though we have patches of meh that are the usual dealings in any relationship. However, in about two months she says we should go on a break because she doesn't feel happy with me or whatever. News to me. So about a few days afterwards we're back on.
Then a few more weeks pass, and she calls me during my mom's birthday party, to which I tell her I'm busy. She calls back later that night, and tells me she wants to break up with me. I accept it and instead of feeling crappy, I felt several different kinds of relieved. The rest of that week I was coming up roses, she was feeling crappy for some odd reason, since she was the one who dumped me in the first place.
But stupid me can't let it end there; instead we linger in some shitty friends-with-benefits relationship that ultimately goes nowhere. The final straw came when I asked her out to the Senior Ball, she tells me she's going to a gay bar with her best friend and her brother for his birthday. I never talked to her again after that.
I saw pictures of her since I last saw her and she got chubby. Gee, I may be one to say "post hoc, propter ergo hoc" but you know...
Thankfully I'm dating a girl who is awesome now (for about two years and a month at this point in time), so if I never see my bitchy ex again it won't be soon enough.
