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Author Topic: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?  (Read 8263 times)

Vander

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Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« on: 04 Dec 2008, 02:51 »

I know this has probably been asked before but couldn't find it in a very brief search and decided to ask anyway since I am insatiably curious.

Personally I think part of the reason that I enjoy the comic so much is that I am in a similar position to Martin, being that I am straight and the group that I hang out with most of the time is all female. Some of the situations he has run into have in fact been so similar to my own that it has made me question whether I am in fact living in a fictional universe.

Or maybe it is a more common situation than my friends and I believe.

So I'm  wondering just how many blokes out there are in a similar position to Martin, in that that the majority of the company you keep is female? Any women in the reverse of the situation are of course included in this question.
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King_of_Somewhere

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #1 on: 20 Dec 2008, 21:58 »

Since no one else replied, I guess I will.

It's pretty much the same thing for me. I don't know, I prefer the company and humor of women more then men. Then again, most of the male species I know are nothing but horndogs. So I go through very similar situations with my female friends. It actually makes life more fun you know? I'd imagine there are a lot of people who are like this.
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Surgoshan

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #2 on: 20 Dec 2008, 22:25 »

Well, sort of, I suppose.  The vast majority of my peers are female and I'm male.  But that's mostly because I'm a middle school teacher and males are fairly anomalous in the teaching establishment, particular as the ages of the students decrease.
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norcekri

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #3 on: 22 Dec 2008, 20:06 »

   I'm not in Marten's position now, but I was there at roughly his age.  In my part of the world, boys socially mature more slowly than girls, lagging behind by about two years in our late teens.  Through various circumstances, I found myself growing rather quickly in that respect, to where the testosterone-driven social interactions were simply annoying.  I was more comfortable with people who didn't feel an overriding urge to compete at that level, and that company had a notable majority of women.  I found it much easier to have reasonable conversations, and the grouping tended to attract like-minded people.  I'd say that the general sex ratio was about 2:1.

   Now that I've answered your immediate question, was there more discussion you wanted on the topic?
« Last Edit: 23 Dec 2008, 12:00 by norcekri »
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ThePrettyMonster

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #4 on: 22 Dec 2008, 23:30 »

His name is Marten
with an e not an i
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Shawn

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #5 on: 23 Dec 2008, 23:49 »

Most of my friends are also female because, like norcekri and King_of_Somewhere mentioned, most other guys (especially in the 15-30 age-range) are immature, over competitive, and incapable of any real emotional or intellectual depth.

Women are more fun for me. I enjoy being around them because, contrary to popular belief, they don't have all insecurities and hang-ups that men do. Men are always worried about seeming gay, or seeming weak, so they're always in a constant mode of overcompensation. I can't stand that kind of anxiety from other people - I have more than enough anxiety all on my own.

Women just do what they do. They feel safe to enjoy something artistic, or to have an intelligent conversation, or to express emotion. It's funny, because other men of similar age seem to suspect I'm gay because I hang out with women. I've never understood that. If anything, I'm more straight than most other guys because my attraction to women extends beyond just sex. But hanging out with women breaks one of the 'male rules,' thus making me 'unmanly' to them, and therefore unliked. "They" (said while aware that I am a straight male in the 15-30 age-range) seem to take the attitude that if they can't fuck it, eat it, or throw it, they aren't interested in it. When ever my female friends are having guy-problems I always joke that "I am a man, and yet still cannot understand them."

I actually enjoy the complexity of women. Subtext to conversations, emotions, intelligent and friendly debates, and the ability to have disagreements but still be close friends. Granted, dating is actually harder, since there is always the fear of loosing a good friend should she and I ever break up. That said, the women I want to be friends with and the women I want to date are generally not the same women. I'm not sure why, because I have friends who are prettier than my exes, but it would actually seem strange to date them. It's just a different type of chemistry I guess.
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Masterbainter

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #6 on: 24 Dec 2008, 01:24 »

I don't buy any of the BS about being friends with girls because guys are too competitive... Seriously if that is the case then tell me you have never wanted to jump on any of your friends that are girls.

There are a few reasons males are friends with females and none of them involve looking for friendship on a deeper level than what other males can provide... unless that individual is struggling with their sexuality.

(all these examples are straight guys being friends with girls):
you either wanted the chick got stuck in the friend zone and are too pussy to admit it; wanted to get with a girls friend or possibly hoping by hanging out with her you get more chances at women; were forced to befriends with girls because of enviroment and/or your current girlfriend/wife that you can't stand up too; and last but not least you feel you can not dominate in your own gender so you use the alternative is a possibility in doing so.

If it was truly an emotional level thingy that other "guys" can't provide then how is it possible that there is multiple guys stating that fact...

I'm sure everyone is different and I don't know anything about any of you.  I have my opinions and view others through a series of point of views and look for the flaws.  guys are not friends with girls unless there is an alterior motive!

except me ladies.. i'm especially here for you if your mean boyfriend/husband isn't treatin ya right ;)
« Last Edit: 24 Dec 2008, 01:26 by Masterbainter »
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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #7 on: 24 Dec 2008, 02:52 »

I don't buy any of the BS about being friends with girls because guys are too competitive... Seriously if that is the case then tell me you have never wanted to jump on any of your friends that are girls.

There are a few reasons males are friends with females and none of them involve looking for friendship on a deeper level than what other males can provide... unless that individual is struggling with their sexuality.

(all these examples are straight guys being friends with girls):
you either wanted the chick got stuck in the friend zone and are too pussy to admit it; wanted to get with a girls friend or possibly hoping by hanging out with her you get more chances at women; were forced to befriends with girls because of enviroment and/or your current girlfriend/wife that you can't stand up too; and last but not least you feel you can not dominate in your own gender so you use the alternative is a possibility in doing so.

If it was truly an emotional level thingy that other "guys" can't provide then how is it possible that there is multiple guys stating that fact...

I'm sure everyone is different and I don't know anything about any of you.  I have my opinions and view others through a series of point of views and look for the flaws.  guys are not friends with girls unless there is an alterior motive!

except me ladies.. i'm especially here for you if your mean boyfriend/husband isn't treatin ya right ;)

WOW. I couldn't have asked for a better example of why I don't get along with other men.

Thank you for proving everything I said. That really made my day, lmao.
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Masterbainter

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #8 on: 24 Dec 2008, 03:57 »

water seeks it's own depth.   :lol:

edit: I wanted to add... I may be a little sexist, however how can anyone in this thread not be by what they are stating?   Pretty much by telling us that you are friends with women because they have deeper level of "feelings" and are "different" than "horndog" males... you are just in fact stating your sexism.   I believe people are people.  If you feel you need to make "friends" with just females because you can't stand males maybe you have deeper issues to resolve.  JMO
« Last Edit: 24 Dec 2008, 04:22 by Masterbainter »
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Shawn

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #9 on: 24 Dec 2008, 07:29 »

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll be the first to admit that I have a negative bias toward other men, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't get along with another guy who didn't fall into the stereotype.

I do have guy friends, but only a few, and they pretty much feel the same way I do. The thing is, when I have a choice to interact with another male or interact with a female, I generally feel that the female will be the more interesting and engaging of the two because that's my preference. That said, what I find interesting and engaging is obviously different that what you find interesting and engaging. I never said that guy shouldn't act how they act, or that it's bad for them to follow the stereotype. I said that I don't enjoy the company of someone who I don't get along with, and typically I don't get along with other men (for the various reasons I listed off above).

I hang out with other men, but I usually have a far better time with women, so the male relationships tend to die out. It's not really an active choice, it's just the way things work out.
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norcekri

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #10 on: 24 Dec 2008, 15:55 »

Masterbainter, if you want to discuss some of these points, please remove the logical fallacies and try again.

Shawn, we agree on most of this material, but I take some difference with one point: "[women] don't have all insecurities and hang-ups that men do."  Actually, women have their own sets of insecurities and hang-ups.  Also, there are more differences among individual people than between the sexes.  As I mentioned, my own comfortable friendships in that age range tended to be about 2:1 in favor of women (vive la difference!), and we swapped a lot of good information about inner thoughts, dating, and responses to the desired sex.  In all that, the main thing I learned is that women are worried about a lot of the same general things, but in different ways and with different priorities -- much as with the differences among my guy friends, although the culturally-driven worries were basically the stereotypes: waiting for the guy to ask you out, how to respond, how to get him to ask you out, and so on.  Most of it was tied up with self-image, self-worth, pride, and that burden of image definition.

Don't think that women don't have their own hang-ups; they might tend to be more overt than covert, or hidden from what you and I would normally see, but the hang-ups are likely there.  I spent three years on a telephone counseling line, which is where I got into a lot of this stuff -- with my colleagues, more so than the callers.

Of course, you may have a circle of friends who are particularly well-adjusted compared to their peers; a few of my colleagues fell into that category.  If so, good for you; hold onto them.  Perhaps my greatest asset during college was that no matter what problem I had, I always had someone to whom I could turn for an empathetic ear, support, and a good kick in the ego, as needed.  Two of them died far too soon (one of them in the comics industry), but I remember them all.
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jtheory

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #11 on: 24 Dec 2008, 17:06 »

I definitely tend to gravitate more towards hanging out with women than with men (I'm a straight guy).

And to add an interesting twist -- this was far more true when I was in a steady relationship than when I was wasn't.  When I was single, hanging out with women was much more complicated... I felt like I had to worry more about friendliness being misinterpreted, etc..  Once I was "off the market" and clearly not looking around, I suddenly felt a hell of a lot more comfortable hanging out with my S.O. and our various mostly female friends.

I don't avoid befriending men.  Though... I absolutely agree, the type who would think it funny to poke me in the ribs when I'm stretching, or to intentionally fart in my presence, etc.. they go right on my shitlist, and it's not likely they'll get off it.  I found that kind of thing funny when I was 5, but I'm not 5 anymore.  I want my friends to have some awareness of what's going on in their own heads (and outside of their own heads, for that matter), and be able to articulate it.  My problem is not insecurities & hangups -- my problem is utter ignorance of what your personal set of insecurities & hangups are, and unwillingness to even think about it.  If your way to make friends is to have an even *nastier* story about how violently ill you were after chugging whatever that was on Friday night... yeah, no thanks.  Go figure out why you were actively making yourself horribly sick and think about that for a while first.

So there are plenty of people (both men & women) who I rule out, but it seems like on balance, women tend to get thoughtful earlier in life than men do.  Hence, the female-tilted balance of friends.  It makes some sense culturally, when you think about it.
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Dazed

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #12 on: 24 Dec 2008, 17:12 »

Jens, here in Amerikkka we only talk to women so we can eventually fuck them.
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Shawn

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #13 on: 24 Dec 2008, 21:35 »

Jens, here in Amerikkka we only talk to women so we can eventually fuck them.

That's not true - I live in Orange County, California - one of the shallowest placed in the the USA.

Also, I don't see the point of using the spelling Amerikkka, which is a reference to the KKK. We have an African-American president. The prejudice is finally gone, let's accept that and find something new to demean the country about.
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Masterbainter

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #14 on: 24 Dec 2008, 21:53 »

feeling gulty are we?
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Alex C

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #15 on: 24 Dec 2008, 23:41 »

The prejudice is finally gone

With apologies to Johnny C
« Last Edit: 24 Dec 2008, 23:43 by Alex C »
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Evander

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #16 on: 24 Dec 2008, 23:47 »

Guys, didn't you know?  Electing Obama as president means that now EVERY black guy is president (not the women, though, because the fact that Clinton did not win the nomination means that the entirely democratic part is horribly sexist.)
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Shawn

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #17 on: 25 Dec 2008, 00:27 »

With apologies to Johnny C
Guys, didn't you know?  Electing Obama as president means that now EVERY black guy is president (not the women, though, because the fact that Clinton did not win the nomination means that the entirely democratic part is horribly sexist.)

Hah, true. Gone is, sadly, an overstatement. However, I still don't see the point in "AmeriKKKa."
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masquerade

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #18 on: 25 Dec 2008, 00:30 »

I think most people prefer the company of the opposite sex. I can't stand other women for the most part. The group I consider my closest friends consists of about eleven guys and four girls, including myself. It's like having a giant tribe of brothers, who tear through my house and destroy my mother's poinsettias. And I can't get mad at them because they have all mastered The Face. The one where they look like they're going to cry... This works especially well with the blue-eyed blondie who can literally make his eyes well up. You immediately are forced to do everything in your power to make that face stop... Therefore, he is spoiled fucking rotten.
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Alex C

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #19 on: 25 Dec 2008, 01:19 »

I'd say I tend to like/dislike men and women in equal measure. My friends are my friends because they're my friends. I'd like to say it's more complicated and less inexplicable than that, but I'm not really interested in figuring out what exactly it is that leads to me having a good rapport with someone. I can be a bit cantankerous at times and I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth when I find someone I really get along with. I suppose that in terms of acquaintances rather than truly close friends, I have traditionally gotten along a little better with other guys, but I think that says more about communication styles and shared interests than anything else.
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King_of_Somewhere

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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #20 on: 03 Jan 2009, 03:05 »

If I could attempt to bring in another side to this conversation:
Men: Dog
Women: Cat

If you look at the relationship between these 2 animals, you will see that it is also very close to our own human nature and this discussion going on right now. Dogs are for the most part, hyper and jumpy. Easily excited and always ready to go after something that catches their eye. Often times, they snap at each other to gain dominance or control. Cats on the other hand, are more laid back. Spend most of the day just lounging around, but can also be brought into a moment of action to again show dominance or to just calm a situation. And much like in the cartoons, if you introduce a cat to a dog, most of the time it's going to be pretty standoffish.

Now, much like our topic at hand, there are cases when a cat is comfortable with a dog and vise versa. It varies cat to cat and dog to dog but it is possible and completely not out of the norm. Sometimes dogs can be laid back just like a cat and not jump at every noise being made. And, sometimes cats are hyperactive and can't stop moving.

For me, it all is based off of how the person/animal was raised and what kind of situations they have been through in their life. I myself have always considered myself mature for my age. Heck, most of the time people think I am in my mid 20's when I am actually not even 20 yet.

Another question this bring to mind is our culture. How do people view it? Is it that I myself am overly mature and everyone else is normal? Or is it that I am normal, and everyone else is overly immature?

Or, am I just a crazy person up at 3am listening to Daft Punk and eating Pop-Tarts? Survey says...
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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #21 on: 03 Jan 2009, 03:14 »

Telling people how mature you are is a way to make them think you're not.

Also, cats and dogs are different species; men and women are not.
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Re: Anyone in a similar position to Martin?
« Reply #22 on: 03 Jan 2009, 06:05 »

King of Somewhere, I aver that you know not overmuch about either cats or dogs.  Introduce a cat to another cat and it will be standoffish.  Many dogs are not hyper, but are in fact overly laid back.  In fact, dogs and cats all come with remarkably different personalities.
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