Hanners makes me feel normal. Which sounds sort of generic, unless you know me.
I've got OCD, but it only kicks in when I start thinking about stuff. Unfortunately, I can't NOT think about stuff, because then I'll be pissed with myself for not thinking. This (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1276) is pretty much what I'm talking about.
That aside, I'm just kind of weird and awkward. It's the best I can hope for that everyone just smiles and nods. So after a long day of avoiding people and trying not to get caught in any awkward, human-interacty situations, it's nice to come home to Hanners-AnticsTM, which are generally far more distressing (and hilarious) than mine ever could be.
I had that happen to me the other day, and it resulted in a traffic ticket because my mind was so busy going and going. It started out with a simple "Hm, my gas gauge is a little low, and the weather is getting cold, I ought to put some gas in so my car will be sure to start tomorrow" to a full fledged internal freakout about whether "should I take the highway home to use the gas station by my house or the backroads and use the station that is closer, about which gas station would have cheaper gas, whether the highway would be safer at night, if I should swing by walmart and pick up some rock salt in case the colder weather led to snow, while I'm at walmart I should get some chips because I'm hungry I wonder how they make rocksalt I should google that when I get home I wonder if Zak wants to stop at a drive through and get anything cause if I'm hungry he probably is too why am I hungry I just ate a large slurpee and a pretzel with cheese....."
And I was so busy mentally that I sort of zoned out and didn't notice the flashing red traffic light, so I didn't stop for it, so a cop car pulled out behind me and started flashing its lights, which I didn't notice until Zak pointed them out, and by then the cop had called for backup since I didn't pull over right away, so when I found a well lit parking lot to pull into, there were five cars surrounding me, all with lights flashing and those really BRIGHT lights blinding me, and I was freaking out because "omg a ticket I can't have a ticket what if he arrests me for not pulling over oh my god I ruined the date zak's going to hate me" and you probably get the picture.
Like the comic, if you were just looking at me you wouldn't have thought anything was going on, unless you knew me and noticed my knuckles were white and my lips were twitching, and that sort of thing happens to me all the time (which is why I try not to drive unless necessary).
Went to the doc about it, but all he did was toss some zoloft at me and tell me to 'try deep breathing', and that I was bipolar.
The pills didn't help very much, they sort of killed the wildly racing trains'o'thought, but I zoned out just as bad, and slept far too much, and was still just as anxious, but I couldn't focus the anxiety on anything like, say, getting gas, so I just felt horrible all the time. Nnngh.