So today I went out for lunch with my best friend. She told me she is moving away in a month, but that she will be in the state. Last time we saw each other I was fairly distressed by our interactions but this time around I think we really clarified some things and got things even again. However, she refused to tell me where exactly she was moving to, because she did not want that information getting out.
As it stands it's a bit complicated. She's supposed to be "out of town" at the moment. There's a whole lot of drama going on between her and two of my other best friends, both of whom I met through my best friend. They are not on speaking terms. And I am not to inform my other friends of my meeting with my best friend, or her / our plans. Which I'm fine with, I'd trust my best friend with my life (not that I'd ever really want to be in that position, heh) and last time I saw her I tried to resolve all this drama. But I am no mediator, all the people involved are adults and I don't need anyone pissed off at me.
So, uh, update on this I suppose. Had dinner and went out with one of the other friends, and we sort of talked about this situation though I did not divulge my knowledge of my best friend's whereabouts or activities. This friend, she'll be called the Artist, as the overuse of "friend" is bound to just get confusing. She is one of my favorite people, and it seemed like whatever was going on (still not quite clear on that point) was really bothering, like, she was trying not to cry. And this bothered me. My best friend had warned me that Artist and her partner would be telling untruths about her, but Artist is so... well, I've never known her to be spiteful. She's flighty and usually quite upbeat but she's human and I wouldn't put it past her to be petty.
And that's the thing that fucks me, really.
Somebody is lying here, somebody's at the center of it, and it could be either of the parties. And I don't care, really. I love everybody involved in this thing, I just want them to be happy. I'd like to think that things could go back to the way that they were. I know these people were really truly friends once. But maybe it's best now that these friendships are well and truly dead (the sense I get is that the conflict is sordid and romantic in nature and there's betrayal and yadda yadda) It's just that the way things are right now is sad and I don't
want to accept it.
I'm thinking at the moment I should butt the fuck out. All I can really do is be friends to both my best friend and Artist and co. while keeping them as separated as I can manage, which is not optimal, but it's all I have. I know with a fair degree of certainty that any more attempts to mediate or facilitate communication will result in a loss of trust and my best friend cutting me out of her life the way I had always feared she would. I can only really hope that, as adults, they'll come to some sort of resolution to this themselves. This impulse to stay out of it might not hold my impulse to attempt the alleviation of my friends' suffering at bay. So I'm in a bind.
I guess what continues to bother me aside from the general shittiness of the situation is that Artist told me that she believes that I am at heart, a decent and pure person, which was terribly gratifying to hear but my position here makes me feel exceptionally dishonest.
Guh, I hope this apprehension is out of me by tomorrow morning.
Also I saw my friend's band play tonight, with my friend's dad, a pro sax player who used to tour with BB King in the 70's. He tore that shit up, put a real Funhouse spin on their material. It was awesome.
