Dear Blog Thread,
My life as it currently stands.
I have to live in Colorado for a full year, starting on sunday. Whether or not I have to stay in Colorado Springs, or can go to Denver or Boulder, is as yet undetermined.
I am going to be suspended from school. I am not aware of how long, yet, but it could be anywhere from a month and a half, to a full year. A month and a half would be survivable, a full year would be life shattering to a fair extent. I would be graduating at the age of 25 if this is the case, aside from having to spend a full year, completely sober, in a shitty town while banned from my college campus.
This means I need a job. I don't know what kind of work I want to do, part of me thinks this would be a good time to try something pretty bizarre for me(I could probably get a job at an investment banking company, advertising, etc) but part of me just wants to get something simple so I can go to rehab(have to do that, too) and still have time to climb, fish, ski, read, and actually live my life a little bit.
I have a crush on a girl, who I don't know if I can even justifiably flirt with, since she's a student and I wont be. The fact that I wont be able to attend any kind of school function, or, you know, go to her room, seems like a bit of an obstacle to me.
I have at least another week before I get any resolution to any of this, and it's fucking killing me. This feeling of uncertainty, having no way of knowing what comes next and no way to prepare for it, is really frustrating. At the least, I can start trying to find a place to live, but other than that I have literally no control over my future for, at minimum, another 7 days.
That is all.