THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 05 Dec 2024, 23:05
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Music History Time Machine  (Read 14076 times)

mberan42

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,174
  • Fry... You're my friend...
Music History Time Machine
« on: 08 Feb 2009, 19:35 »

You've been given access to a Time Machine. Trouble is, stipulations have been put on its use: you can only use it once, you will return immediately to the present upon completion, and you are only allowed to change one moment in music history.

What would you change in music's history? What one moment, one song, one album, one artist, one band would you change? Would you prevent Beethoven from going deaf? Stop Marvin Gaye's father from killing him? Something else completely? What would you change?

While there are a few minor things I'd change/prevent - stop Queen from recording We Will Rock You, stop the Beach Boys from recording Barbara Ann (sounds too much like my last name when they sing it) - there is one specific incident I'd stop from happening:

"John, this is Yoko. Yoko, John."

You?
Logged
My parents were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?!

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #1 on: 08 Feb 2009, 19:40 »

I would kick Chris Martin's pregnant mother down a set of stairs.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,152
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #2 on: 08 Feb 2009, 19:44 »

I'd go back to February 1959 and insist to a young pilot named Roger Peterson that it's not safe weather for flying.
Logged

Be My Head

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 627
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #3 on: 08 Feb 2009, 19:56 »

I can't really think of anything...I guess if I could, I would stop either Frank Zappa or Chuck Schuldiner from getting cancer?
Logged

Jughead5267

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 63
  • Ab Initio Ad Finem
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #4 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:08 »

Well I guess this kinda goes along with the op's...
Mark David Chapman wouldn't have woken up on December 8, 1980.
Logged

onewheelwizzard

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,558
  • Ha! Fool ...
    • http://www.livejournal.com/users/onewheelwizzard
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #5 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:14 »

... yeah, I'd rather do that than anything else I can think of.
Logged
also at one point mid-sex she asked me "what do you think about commercialism in art?"

Christophe

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,793
  • FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE
    • last.fm!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #6 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:20 »

I'd pour sugar into Jeanette Sliwinski's gas tank.
Logged

DarkAvenger

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 228
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #7 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:36 »

Yeah I was just thinking the same thing...
Logged

sean

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,730
  • welp
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #8 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:44 »

I'd go back to 1996 and punch each and every member of Jimmy Eat World in the face until they agreed to break up.

I know, its sad, but its for the best.
« Last Edit: 08 Feb 2009, 20:46 by Objects inside Clouds »
Logged
- 20% of canadians are members of broken social scene

Christophe

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,793
  • FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE
    • last.fm!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #9 on: 08 Feb 2009, 20:52 »

Hey, their stuff from when they actually sounded like they were from the Midwest US emo scene is kind of decent.
Logged

squawk

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,351
  • if it has a toothpick in it, it's free!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #10 on: 08 Feb 2009, 21:01 »

i'd go back to october 21, 2003 and hide all the knives in elliott smith's house
Logged
it's time to stop posting

Spluff

  • William Gibson's Babydaddy
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,410
  • it is time to party
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #11 on: 08 Feb 2009, 21:03 »

I'd probably just confiscate tour vehicles from the many bands who manage to crash them (looking at you, stevie ray vaughan).

Also, I'd slap whoever decided that Slo Burn wasn't worth keeping together.
Logged
[16:27] Ozy:  has joined the room
[16:27] Quietus: porn necklace!
[16:27] Quietus: Shove it up yer vag!
[16:27] Ozy: has left the room

Wardial3r

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #12 on: 08 Feb 2009, 22:04 »

i'd go back to october 21, 2003 and hide all the knives in elliott smith's house

Exactly what I was thinking when I read the opening post. 

Also, would have stopped Casey Calvert from O.D. ing.  Somehow. 

New Hawthorne Heights is terrible. They just have empty spaces where the screams should be.
Logged

De_El

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,723
  • uh oh
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #13 on: 08 Feb 2009, 22:18 »

Hide all the sharp objects and long cords in the Curtis family home.

Wardial3r

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #14 on: 08 Feb 2009, 22:39 »

Hide all the sharp objects and long cords in the Curtis family home.

Clearly joy division didn't already produce wayyy too much material, a fraction of which is worth listening to. 
Logged

De_El

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,723
  • uh oh
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #15 on: 08 Feb 2009, 22:42 »

Haha! Your jokes are funny. I laugh so much.

Christophe

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,793
  • FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE
    • last.fm!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #16 on: 08 Feb 2009, 22:47 »

"One domestibot for... Brendan Canty? Brendan Canty. Oh, and it came with a telegram: "Now you can take care of your children AND play with Fugazi at the same time!""
Logged

onewheelwizzard

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,558
  • Ha! Fool ...
    • http://www.livejournal.com/users/onewheelwizzard
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #17 on: 08 Feb 2009, 23:06 »

Wait a second, I know.  I'd just go back and turn Jimi Hendrix over in his stupor so he didn't just choke on his own vomit.  Him or John Bonham.
Logged
also at one point mid-sex she asked me "what do you think about commercialism in art?"

Wardial3r

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #18 on: 08 Feb 2009, 23:28 »

Haha! Your jokes are funny. I laugh so much.

:) i'm slick.
Logged

Cire27

  • Higher than Ol' Scratch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 669
  • Kill You With Folk
    • last.fm
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #19 on: 09 Feb 2009, 00:00 »

I'd go back to February 1959 and insist to a young pilot named Roger Peterson that it's not safe weather for flying.

This made me sad.
Logged
You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #20 on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:26 »

I would prevent Henry Purcell's early death; if he had lived a normal lifespan, he would have reached his peak around the time that Handel arrived in England - and that would have got really  interesting.
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #21 on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:29 »

"Lars, just stop whining and let Cliff sleep over there."

CRUNCH.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Hat

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,536
  • bang bang a suckah MC shot me down
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #22 on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:31 »

Probably take a shit on Frank Zappa or something.

No particular reason why, I just think it'd be fun.
Logged
Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,152
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #23 on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:45 »

Hey, if I go back in time can I hang around for a few years to get a twofer? 'Cause I'd also like to go to 1956 and disable Nancy Powell's car.
Logged

Chymes

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 44
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #24 on: 09 Feb 2009, 06:27 »

Save Jeff Buckley back in 1997... Bet on a few sporting events whilst I was there and come back and you know, go to every venue on his next tour :)
Logged

michaelicious

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,574
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #25 on: 09 Feb 2009, 07:57 »

I would convince D. Boon to wear a seatbelt.
Logged

imapiratearg

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,168
  • Oh thanks. They're not mine.
    • http://www.myspace.com/superpunkdout
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #26 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:16 »

I'd tackle the dude who shot John Lennon and wrestle him to the ground.

Or convince all the members of Nickelback that music is not the right career for them and they are destined for far greater things outside of music.
Logged

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #27 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:32 »

I always wanted to take a copy of the Ramones self-titled album back to say, 1955, and just give it to someone.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

sean

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,730
  • welp
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #28 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:34 »

Hey, their stuff from when they actually sounded like they were from the Midwest US emo scene is kind of decent.

I know, thats why it's sad. It had to be done before it was too late though.

Then emo would be all okay.
Logged
- 20% of canadians are members of broken social scene

onewheelwizzard

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,558
  • Ha! Fool ...
    • http://www.livejournal.com/users/onewheelwizzard
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #29 on: 09 Feb 2009, 11:36 »

I always wanted to take a copy of the Ramones self-titled album back to say, 1955, and just give it to someone.

Oh man I suddenly have a really strong desire to go back in time to one of the first-ever acid tests in San Francisco in 1966 and drop a Shpongle album into the sound system and see what happens.
Logged
also at one point mid-sex she asked me "what do you think about commercialism in art?"

michaelicious

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,574
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #30 on: 09 Feb 2009, 13:27 »

I already saved D. Boon, man.
Logged

el_loco_avs

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 188
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #31 on: 10 Feb 2009, 02:21 »

i'd go back to october 21, 2003 and hide all the knives in elliott smith's house

Sadly i think he'd succeed in killing himself eventually. He had already jumped off a cliff before XO  :-(

I would kick Chris Martin's pregnant mother down a set of stairs.

I thought "what's the problem with Gwyneth?" but then I got it.  :-D



As for my pick. I'd tell Jeff not to go swimming and just meet the band at the airport or something.  Or at least  get him some inflatable armbands.  :x

« Last Edit: 10 Feb 2009, 02:23 by el_loco_avs »
Logged

Thrillho

  • Global Moderator
  • Awakened
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 13,130
  • Tall. Beets.
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #32 on: 10 Feb 2009, 03:30 »

I would go give Syd Barrett a slap and say LAY OFF THE DRUGS.
Logged
In the end, the thing people will remember is kindness.

michaelicious

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,574
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #33 on: 10 Feb 2009, 07:29 »

Yeah but you told him to put on a seatbelt. That shit won't work, man. He was lying down i the back of the van because he was recovering from an illness. You can't wear a seatbelt lying down.

That's pretty much the entire point of telling him to wear a seatbelt.
« Last Edit: 10 Feb 2009, 07:33 by michaelicious »
Logged

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #34 on: 10 Feb 2009, 20:15 »

On second thought though, yeah, I'd probably just take the alcohol/assorted drugs away from Hendrix, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, John Bonham, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Shannon Hoon, Brad Nowell, etc etc etc
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,152
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #35 on: 10 Feb 2009, 21:00 »

Actually maybe I'd just go way back and somehow ensure that heroin was never invented. That oughta sort out around 90% of problems and tragedies in the music biz.
Logged

Wardial3r

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #36 on: 10 Feb 2009, 21:01 »

On second thought though, yeah, I'd probably just take the alcohol/assorted drugs away from Hendrix, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, John Bonham, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Shannon Hoon, Brad Nowell, etc etc etc

I'm pretty sure without alcohol/drugs, they wouldn't have mad any music worth anything.
Logged

negative creep

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,421
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #37 on: 13 Feb 2009, 04:37 »

"Lars, just stop whining and let Cliff sleep over there."

CRUNCH.

I, too, dream of Lars Ulrich being thrown through the bus window instead of my Mystikal Master Kliff Burton.
« Last Edit: 13 Feb 2009, 08:24 by negative creep »
Logged

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #38 on: 13 Feb 2009, 05:16 »

I mean they still would probably make some shitty albums in the 90s, but at least the drums would have sounded decent.

Christ, St. Anger sounded like Lars was beating a chain-link fence with a baseball bat.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Spluff

  • William Gibson's Babydaddy
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,410
  • it is time to party
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #39 on: 13 Feb 2009, 05:21 »

The later albums would have been a lot better, most probably. Cliff Burton did a lot of the writing for Metallica and his influence is what kept them on track after Dave's leftover ideas ran out.
« Last Edit: 13 Feb 2009, 15:08 by Spluff »
Logged
[16:27] Ozy:  has joined the room
[16:27] Quietus: porn necklace!
[16:27] Quietus: Shove it up yer vag!
[16:27] Ozy: has left the room

Yossarian

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #40 on: 13 Feb 2009, 09:43 »

I guess I'd travel to Vienna in the 1820s, taking with me some fancy antibiotics and (just to be on the save side) a lifetime-supply of condoms, so that Franz Schubert could have lived beyond his 32. year. And maybe he might have shared some of the stuff with Robert Schumann.
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #41 on: 13 Feb 2009, 19:30 »

I'd go back to 1996 and punch each and every member of Linkin Park in the face until they agreed to break up.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,451
  • j'accuse!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #42 on: 13 Feb 2009, 20:42 »

You guys are thinking way too narrowly. Couldn't we just find a way to make sure that the whole generation of young boys never heard either rap or metal and thus never thought to synergise the two thus averting that whole turd of a movement?

We could punch some folks in the face as well, just cos.
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Christophe

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,793
  • FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE
    • last.fm!
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #43 on: 13 Feb 2009, 20:44 »

If we blew up the studio where Run D.M.C. and Aerosmith were recording "Walk This Way" in, that would take care of many problems.
Logged

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #44 on: 14 Feb 2009, 07:36 »

Then you also have to wipe Anthrax and Public Enemy off the face of the earth.

Oh well. At least it'd clear up some programming schedules for VH1.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #45 on: 14 Feb 2009, 23:16 »

But I like both of those groups a lot.

Admittedly, my knowledge of Anthrax is pretty vague, but oh em gees Scott Ian....*swoon*
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

mberan42

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,174
  • Fry... You're my friend...
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #46 on: 20 Feb 2009, 15:27 »

I change my answer. I would push the mother of whoever wrote the $5 Footlong Subway song off a 10 story building when she was pregnant with the composer.
Logged
My parents were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?!

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #47 on: 21 Feb 2009, 07:23 »

Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

TLT Thomas

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 41
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #48 on: 27 Feb 2009, 18:14 »

I would go back to May 25th, 1996 and save Bradley Nowell's life. Maybe haul his ass into rehab, too.

Sublime was done WAY too fucking soon.  :-(

Wardial3r

  • Guest
Re: Music History Time Machine
« Reply #49 on: 07 Mar 2009, 04:51 »

Throw Bono's pregnant mom down stairs.

Not because I don't like U2... Just because Bono is a pretentious fool.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up