THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 16 Apr 2024, 04:51
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!  (Read 6342 times)

Joseph

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,822
I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« on: 13 May 2009, 23:23 »

So, I started a summer job recently, at an office building in downtown Vancouver.  Today, the ladies in the HR department, where I'm working, all chipping in for a couple lottery tickets.  Since I'm the new guy around the office, they asked me if I'd like to join them.  I've never bought a lotto ticket before, and it felt like something I should do at least once, if only as a sort of office comradery.  Now, I'm usually pretty lucky, so I figure I'll probably win this.  And I was thinking, I really don't know what I would do with upwards of 4.3 million dollars.

Emilio has been saying for some time now that he'll only be able to come to McGill, where I'm studying, if he wins the lottery.  I realized, if I won the lottery, I could help him out!  Now, just sending one person to school really wouldn't put much of a dent in my millions.  So, I thought, why not send five people to McGill?

Emilio has taken the first space.  The next four people to express interest and give a compelling reason why I should give the money to them will also have their education paid for out of my pocket, after I collect my winnings.  I promise I will follow through, barring the unlikely circumstance that I do not end up winning.

If you have any questions, or would like any clarification, please post in this thread.

The money will not be given if you choose to enroll at any school other than McGill.  You must also begin attending McGill before I graduate.  If you do not have good enough grades to be accepted at McGill, I will set aside twenty thousand dollars to try to bribe McGill officials.

The Five:

1.  Emilio

2. 

3. 

4. 

5. 
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #1 on: 13 May 2009, 23:36 »

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Joseph

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,822
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #2 on: 13 May 2009, 23:39 »

Why?  Compelling reasons.
Logged

StaedlerMars

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,872
  • hallelujah!
    • a WebSite
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #3 on: 13 May 2009, 23:54 »

Hey, my brother goes to McGill, he says it's pretty awesome, and that Montreal is a great city.

So guys! Jump on this guy's luck!
Logged
Expect lots of screaming, perversely fast computer drums and guitars tuned to FUCK

Quote from: Michael McDonald
Dear God, I hope it's smooth.

Victorinia

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 48
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #4 on: 13 May 2009, 23:55 »

You should send me to McGill.

1) If you sent me to McGill, I wouldn't have to work during the school year and I would have time to make you delicious baked goods and knit you socks in gratitude. Sure, you could buy baked goods and socks, but they wouldn't be made with the same kind of gratitude. That makes them extra special.
2) I've checked out the awards page, and I may be eligible to be considered for a scholarship for 2009-2010. Thus you would have less to pay for my tuition (not to mention the fact that it's already much cheaper than it would be if I weren't a Canadian citizen) and you'd be able to offer more to the other candidates, or possibly even take on a sixth candidate. Or donate the money you saved to starving children in Africa. Or keep it. Whatever.
3) Life with me around is always exciting. I do things like light ovens on fire while baking cakes, prepare Thanksgiving dinner for my friends oh and look cute next to you at parties. Clearly these things are all beneficial to your McGill career.
Except maybe the lighting ovens on fire thing.

I sincerely hope that the fact that I already attend McGill doesn't disqualify me.

Edit: fixed links (again).
« Last Edit: 14 May 2009, 00:04 by Victorinia »
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #5 on: 14 May 2009, 00:06 »

Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Johnny C

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,483
  • i wanna be yr slide dog
    • I AM A WHORE FOR MY OWN MUSIC
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #6 on: 14 May 2009, 00:33 »

yo i mean i got a really nice setup here so i can't come to mcgill but if you kicked a couple thousand bucks these estates' way we would be pretty grateful and you could put "patron of the arts" on your business card or whatever
Logged
[02:12] yuniorpocalypse: let's talk about girls
[02:12] Thug In Kitchen: nooo

Cartilage Head

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,182
  • Do Me Baby
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #7 on: 14 May 2009, 00:54 »

 You should send me to McGill. I will have a very difficult time getting into college since I have basically no help from anybody and never made good enough grades to get an academic scholarship no matter how hard I tried. I would be the first in my family to go to college EVER.
Logged
Hate, rain on me

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #8 on: 14 May 2009, 01:16 »

to get me away from my crappy South Dakota life.  j/k love it here.. but free school would rock on so many levels.
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

Slick

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,788
  • I am become biscuit
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #9 on: 14 May 2009, 01:53 »

So I'm just about done an undergraduate degree meaning if you sent me to McGill you would get the added bonus of being able to associate with grad students. Also I will bake like a fiend because that is what I like to do, and I can fix your bikes.
Basically I do not know what I will be doing with my life in the next little while so hanging around Montreal for a couple years would be super swell. And my brother is going to school in Sherbrooke, and it would be great to be closer to him since some stuff is happening in my family and it would be nice to be close to someone I'm related to again.
McGill has a decent atmospheric/ocean science unit and I would like to think myself as half-decently qualified for that and I think it would be all kinds of interesting so I have the point of 'actually being interested in something your school does well' on my side.
I can play alto sax, piano, and bass, so I'm totally happy to jam with you/whoever else you lassoo into coming to Mcgill.
I can help with your math homework.


light ovens on fire while baking cakes
I lit my oven on fire baking four dozen homemade croissant
prepare Thanksgiving dinner for my friends
one upped (turducken)
look cute next to you at parties.
Yeah ok maybe I don't do that.
« Last Edit: 14 May 2009, 02:02 by Slick »
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Eris

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,919
  • bzzzz
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #10 on: 14 May 2009, 05:12 »



Who drew that picture? Me.

You should pay for me to go to McGill, because while there I will draw you more quality pictures like that.
Logged
Quote from: Drunk Pete
MACHINS CON ESFU EPETE

Thomas Edison

  • The Tickler
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 913
  • Everyone is getting old.
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #11 on: 14 May 2009, 09:04 »

I do not want to go to McGill.

I hear it's haunted.

By ghosts.
Logged
Quote from: Patrick
I am pretty miserable at going down on a lady

Quote from: Khar
I can't really work out in my head why it's not cool to bone your sister as long as you don't make babies

imapiratearg

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,168
  • Oh thanks. They're not mine.
    • http://www.myspace.com/superpunkdout
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #12 on: 14 May 2009, 09:12 »

You should pay for me to go there because I am currently pursuing a career in graphic design, but I feel my heart is not in it.  However, if you were to be as gracious as to pay for my tuition to go to McGill, I would study music and writing there, where I believe my heart is.

Eh?  Eh?  :-D
Logged

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,451
  • j'accuse!
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #13 on: 14 May 2009, 09:12 »

yo i mean i got a really nice setup here so i can't come to mcgill but if you kicked a couple thousand bucks these estates' way we would be pretty grateful and you could put "patron of the arts" on your business card or whatever

This reminds me; if you win some millions could you maybe kick me a paltry few hundo so I could get some business cards made up, cheers.
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

iamiam

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 335
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #14 on: 14 May 2009, 09:33 »

1)  i have just graduated university, but In This Economy i cannot find a job that i like.  this is really sad, and normally the solution would be to go to grad school.  but... i have no money for grad school, and there is no point on wasting my money studying something when i do not even know if it will necessarily give me viable career options.  if i could go to grad school for free, i could study what i am really interested in without wondering whether the job i will get out of it will make me enough to pay back loans.

2)  again with the money thing... i am fairly confident that i will not end up going to grad school in the states because it is way too expensive.  right now my vague plan is to eventually go to amsterdam because school is cheap for EU students.  unfortunately, some of the programs i am most interested in are not offered in english there.  however, i have always wanted to live in canada. i never bothered to do anything about it because my friends who have gone to study there told me that it is pretty much impossible to get a work visa.  if i cannot work while studying there, then there is definitely no way i could afford it.

3)  i think i could actually get in, which is kind of an important factor here right?  my grades at uni were not spectacular but they were decent (and meet the minimum requirements), and i have done enough extracurricular things to make up for anything i am lacking there.  i also think i could achieve whatever test scores are necessary for admission.

4)  please, please actually win the lottery and pick me, and make all my dreams come true, you fabulous internet person you.  if this happens i will basically bake you weekly cupcakes and cookies and the batter will be filled with love each time <3
« Last Edit: 14 May 2009, 09:38 by iamiam »
Logged
Quote from: meebo
[11:09] Darryl: MaiAda: the Beat Happening of the QC boards
[11:10] Darryl: so subtly subversive that not everybody can even tell
[11:10] Darryl: punk as fuck
[11:10] Darryl: ponies and rainbows

Thomas Edison

  • The Tickler
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 913
  • Everyone is getting old.
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #15 on: 14 May 2009, 09:40 »

4)  please, please actually win the lottery and pick me, and make all my dreams come true, you fabulous internet person you.  if this happens i will basically bake you weekly cupcakes and cookies and i will do kinky/naughty things with the batter <3
Logged
Quote from: Patrick
I am pretty miserable at going down on a lady

Quote from: Khar
I can't really work out in my head why it's not cool to bone your sister as long as you don't make babies

Dollface

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,225
  • And i thought there would be breasts.
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #16 on: 14 May 2009, 09:46 »

Arts and crafts baby i want there.
Logged
Barfy: he needs to get on the sucking of some dick

Blue Kitty

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,964
    • Twitter
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #17 on: 14 May 2009, 11:16 »

So wait, is this an office lottery or is it like the Canadian National Lottery?  Either way, does McGill have a Mortuary program?
Logged

Liz

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,483
  • Nuclear Bomb Tits
    • Last.fm
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #18 on: 14 May 2009, 16:01 »

Pick me! I want to go to grad school for anthropology once I finish my B.S. but the only place I can afford to go to school is here and I want to get the HELL out of North Dakota. Even if that means moving to Canada.

(McGill has a good anthropology program, according to the website.)

(Plus, wicked awesome hangouts with ME.)
Logged
Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

Joseph

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,822
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #19 on: 14 May 2009, 23:28 »

I'm just kidding, I totally won


my top 5 are as follows:

Emilio

Burt Reynolds

Shrek

Percy P. Percival, Earle of Duncaster

Connor Oberst
« Last Edit: 16 May 2009, 01:03 by Trollstormur »
Logged

MrSteevo

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 221
  • Bros before hoes dawg
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #20 on: 15 May 2009, 00:54 »

You're in Vancouver?
Very nice, but we do things better on the Island.
Logged
You would not be able to kill me. I would win.

jimbunny

  • I'm Randy! I'm eternal!
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 662
  • I'll show you the life of the mind!
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #21 on: 15 May 2009, 13:03 »

How's their grad program in English?
Logged

Liz

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,483
  • Nuclear Bomb Tits
    • Last.fm
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #22 on: 15 May 2009, 17:15 »

DAMN.
Logged
Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

J-cob9000

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 804
  • i forgot why i made that picture
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #23 on: 15 May 2009, 21:16 »

to get me away from my crappy South Carolina life.  j/k hate it here.. but free school would rock on so many levels.
Logged

Blue Kitty

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,964
    • Twitter
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #24 on: 15 May 2009, 21:42 »

Sorry folks.  I didn't win.

Apparently when the odds are something like one in twenty million, that is pretty unlikely.

He's obviously lying to let down everyone else, right friendo?  So, when should I expect those tickets?
Logged

iamiam

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 335
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #25 on: 15 May 2009, 23:32 »

 :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

</3
Logged
Quote from: meebo
[11:09] Darryl: MaiAda: the Beat Happening of the QC boards
[11:10] Darryl: so subtly subversive that not everybody can even tell
[11:10] Darryl: punk as fuck
[11:10] Darryl: ponies and rainbows

MrBlu

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,543
  • I probably don't
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #26 on: 16 May 2009, 08:43 »

Call me stupid, and I just woke up, but holy crap, dude, you really won 4.3mil?
Logged
rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

Joseph

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,822
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #27 on: 18 May 2009, 18:00 »

No.
Logged

MrBlu

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,543
  • I probably don't
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #28 on: 18 May 2009, 19:14 »

I just killed the thread, didn't I...? :|
Logged
rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

Trollstormur

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,652
  • Death To America
    • http://www.goat.cx
Re: I Might Pay For You To Come To My School!
« Reply #29 on: 21 May 2009, 12:27 »

maybe but it wasn't a very good thread to begin with.


I'm killing it officially, now, however.
Logged
also israel
Pages: [1]   Go Up